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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:06,595 Oh, my God, I can't believe how big Halley's getting. 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:07,765 Yeah. Where's Howard? 3 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:08,842 He's changing Michael. 4 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,428 All done. You know, fun fact, 5 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,310 did you know baby boys can pee straight up? 6 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,725 Grown-up boys, too. 7 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,858 Why would we high-five that? 8 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,485 So how are you guys? 9 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:23,653 BERNADETTE: Really good. 10 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,697 Except for when we went grocery shopping, 11 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,653 and the checkout lady asked when I was due. 12 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,371 But you handled it well. 13 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,164 Well, if you guys need help, I'd be happy to come over. 14 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,838 Oh, thanks, but we're really trying to enjoy this family time 15 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,256 before we both go back to work. 16 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,841 Okay, well, we all miss you. 17 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,668 - You guys, too. - Bye. 18 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:46,422 (SIGHS) Boy, seeing them all together like that 19 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:49,634 has got my biological clock ticking like crazy. 20 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,804 - Yeah, I don't think men have... -l do. 21 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:56,974 - Hi. - Hello. 22 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,559 - Hey, guys. - Good news. 23 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,235 We have save the date cards. 24 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,357 £53: 25 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,734 Didn't go with my calligrapher. Interesting. 26 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,026 What is this picture? 27 00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:09,407 Oh, It's an MRI of our brains photoshopped 28 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,829 to look like they're kissing. 29 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,491 Is it too sexy? 30 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,204 It's too something. 31 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,962 Guys, May 12, that's exciting. 32 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,039 - I know. - Do you guys have a location yet? 33 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,420 'Cause you don't have a lot of time. 34 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,092 Hey, it took us nine months to pick a date, 35 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,135 and a week to decide if brains can have lips on them, 36 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,588 so get in the boat and row. 37 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,216 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 38 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,786 - Michael's out. - So is Halley. 39 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:00,958 Oh, my God, he's so cute. 40 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,748 So is she. 41 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,425 - Switch? - Yeah. 42 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:12,387 - Oh, my God, he's so cute. - So is she. 43 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,809 I just love them so much. 44 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,554 Me, too. 45 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,307 My heart feels like it's gonna explode. 46 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,351 Of course, it's full of brisket, so it probably will. 47 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:28,320 I didn't even know I was capable of loving someone so much. 48 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,484 More than me? 49 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,445 - Oh, what... -l'm just messing with you. 50 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,121 I totally love them more than you. 51 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,824 I get that. 52 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,459 I would take a bullet for them. 53 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:43,630 But I would get seriously mutilated for you. 54 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,170 That's sweet. 55 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,842 But you should know, if you got seriously mutilated, 56 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,261 I might dump you. 57 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,682 You'd be crazy not to. Even unmutilated, I'm no prize. 58 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,221 You know, I'm really happy with our wedding date. 59 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:03,317 The month squared equals the square of the sum of the members 60 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:05,190 of the set of prime factors of the day. 61 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,440 Isn't that romantic? 62 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,864 Yes, it's like that Shakespeare sonnet, 63 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,487 "Shall I compare thee to a day 64 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,443 "that's also a really weird math problem." 65 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:18,411 It's a shame you're joking. That'd be a lovely reading at our ceremony. 66 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,497 Well, we only have two months to find a venue, 67 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,169 and I had a thought. 68 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,168 What about the Athenaeum club at Caltech? 69 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,008 (EXHALES) Albert Einstein was a member there. 70 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,175 - It's beautiful. - Yeah. 71 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,345 And Albert Einstein was a member there. 72 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,174 - It's close. - And Albert Einstein was a member there. 73 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,468 And Albert Einstein was a member there. 74 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,894 There! 75 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,977 Now you sound like a woman who wants to get married. 76 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,397 - So you're interested? - Oh, of course. 77 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,728 Yeah, but that club is extremely exclusive. 78 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,605 You know, Leonard's been trying to get us in there for years, 79 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,814 but no luck. 80 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:51,898 Well, that's odd. 81 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,076 When I called, they said they'd be excited to give us a tour. 82 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,614 Well, I suppose we can give it a look, 83 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,537 and if it doesn't work out, I hear that there is 84 00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:01,116 a nearby Chinese restaurant that Einstein used to frequent. 85 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:06,876 Or, we pick a place we like, and don't worry about Einstein. 86 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,172 (SCOFFS) 87 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,547 Boy, reality TV is right, brides are crazy. 88 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,057 So, how has it been, being home with two kids? 89 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,760 (SIGHS) Tiring, but super rewarding. 90 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,020 Like Pilates, yeah, got it. 91 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,725 Honestly, it's gonna be hard when we both go back to work. 92 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:30,021 I've been thinking maybe it would be better if 93 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,026 one of us decided to stay home. 94 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:36,326 I don't know, I was raised by servants, and look at me. 95 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,656 I literally can't tell if you think that's good or bad. 96 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,909 Well, on one hand, they filled my tub with scented oils 97 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,915 and brought me honeyed sweets, on the other hand, 98 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,122 I spent my twenties incapable of talking to women. 99 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:51,630 So you know, pros and cons. 100 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,093 Here's my dilemma. I kind of want to stay home. 101 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,891 But Bernadette is a way better parent than I am. 102 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,680 Wait, does Bernadette want to stay home? 103 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,187 I don't know. She's really invested in her career, 104 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,639 and she's doing great. 105 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,099 I think it should be me. 106 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,855 Wow, I admire you, Howard. 107 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:13,781 It would be hard for me to buck traditional gender roles like that. 108 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,786 Didn't you see Taylor Swift twice this month? 109 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,496 Yeah, because she's hot, not because she sings my truth. 110 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,169 Did Albert Einstein ever sit in any of these chairs? 111 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,833 I think these are fairly new. 112 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,384 But Stephen Hawking's eaten here a lot. 113 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,296 Yeah, but he brings his own chair, you know? 114 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,095 Well, it seems kind of perfect, 115 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,638 and it's close enough to your office, 116 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,219 so you can use the bathroom you like. 117 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,269 I put a sticker over the auto-flush, so it doesn't startle me. 118 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,111 Here's my card. Why don't you two talk it over, 119 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,689 and I will check to see if our soup spoons 120 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,150 are "deeper than they are wide." 121 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,078 What? Too deep is a ladle, not a spoon. 122 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,245 (SCOFFS) 123 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,249 I really like it. 124 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,251 Oh, I must admit, I do, as well. 125 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,706 Look at how somber all the men in these portraits are. 126 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,629 I feel like that sets a good tone for our wedding. 127 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:16,918 Is that Leonard? 128 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,715 Uh, no, no. These are all dead, accomplished scientists. 129 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,471 Leonard will only ever be one of those things. 130 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,892 I mean, Leonard and Penny are right there. 131 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,520 But he told me he checked on our membership just last week, 132 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,944 and we were still 400th in line. 133 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,531 I'm sure there's an innocent explanation that won't ruin my day at all. 134 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:40,775 Leonard. 135 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:41,860 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 136 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:42,944 How did you get in here? 137 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,658 What do you mean? Leonard's a member. 138 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,249 You told me it was incredibly exclusive. 139 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,624 Yeah, look, about that, I lied. 140 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,211 Hey, wait, you told me it was exclusive, too. 141 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:59,170 Mm-hmm. I avoided him and impressed you, all with the same lie. 142 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,259 Damn, Hofstadter, didn't think you had it in you. 143 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,929 Well, I'm not sure I know how I feel about this place now. 144 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,389 Then don't turn around. 145 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,183 Cooper! 146 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,273 Oh. Good, you're here. 147 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,697 There's (CLEARS THROAT) something I want to talk to you about. 148 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,988 We're not putting a TV in the bathroom. That's how you get hemorrhoids. 149 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,241 No, this is important. 150 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,738 Uh... 151 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:30,663 I was thinking maybe one of us should stay home full-time, with the kids. 152 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,375 Oh, great, so I have to give up my job and everything I've worked for? 153 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,549 Actually, I was thinking I should stay home. 154 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,210 Oh, so I have to abandon my children and go back to work, 155 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,421 while you get to stay home and bond with them? 156 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,765 You just said you didn't want to. 157 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,846 No, I don't want to have to, but if I want to, I should get to. 158 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:53,936 Do you want to? 159 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,184 Maybe I do. 160 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,940 What if I also want to? 161 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,567 Well, I don't know, we can't both stay home. 162 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,149 Don't you think you should go back to work, 163 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,860 because you make more money? 164 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,365 Don't you think you should make more money? 165 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,323 I think it's pretty sexist of you to say 166 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,580 a dad can't stay home with his children. 167 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:15,462 You know what else is sexist, the phrase "suck it," 168 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,663 yet, here we are. 169 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,132 I can't believe Leonard lied to me. 170 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,679 What are we gonna find out next, 171 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,927 that he's not really lactose intolerant? 172 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,470 He's just friends with an invisible trumpet player? 173 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,066 I know you're upset, but if we want to book the Athenaeum, 174 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,564 we really should do it now, and then, I promise, 175 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,862 we'll have our whole lives to complain about Leonard. 176 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:45,609 Oh, somebody got a head start on her vows. 177 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,742 So do we agree? Do we want to get married there? 178 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,498 I don't know. 179 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,292 I mean, Einstein was a member. I like that. 180 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:58,372 You know? But Leonard's a member, and that really steams my clams. 181 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,380 Oh, I love it when you're folksy. I'm just gonna call. 182 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:06,096 On the other hand, shaming Leonard during our wedding 183 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,798 at the very place he betrayed me 184 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,259 does have a beautiful symmetry to it. 185 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,809 That's nice, it'll be your first petty act as a married man. 186 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,350 Oh, hi, Kathleen? 187 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,270 Yeah, this is Amy from earlier. 188 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,855 I'd like to go ahead and reserve May 12. 189 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,115 Although, it is our wedding. 190 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,535 Well, maybe it shouldn't be all about revenge. 191 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,364 Oh, I see. 192 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,332 Okay, thanks. 193 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,459 - Someone booked our date. - Uh... What? 194 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,748 Who? 195 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,584 Well, well, well. 196 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,426 This is a pickle. 197 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:53,177 Yes, so, if you will just move your birthday party 198 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,682 to a different location, everything will be fine. 199 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,931 Oh, it's tricky. 200 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,227 I don't want to move my party, but I also don't want to help you... 201 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,107 Oh, wait, I don't have a problem. 202 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,072 No. I do. 203 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,033 Yeah, you do. 204 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,164 - Morning. - Hey, where you been? 205 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:21,413 Oh, nowhere special. Just the park, the farmer's market, 206 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,089 then we hopped on the Gold Line to Chinatown 207 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:26,509 because it's important for the kids to experience other cultures. 208 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:27,961 What have you been doing? 209 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,013 It's 8:00 a.m. Sleeping. 210 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,759 Oh, so are the kids. I guess they take after you. 211 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,640 You're just trying to prove that you'd do a betterjob than me. 212 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,943 (CHUCKLES) You're pretty sharp having just woken up. 213 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,109 Howard, we both know you can't keep up this pace. 214 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,736 By this afternoon you're gonna be passed out on the couch 215 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,114 and I'm gonna have three exhausted babies to deal with. 216 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,829 Not true. I got this. 217 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,327 You know, in fact, why don't you take the day off? 218 00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,626 Fine. Maybe I'll have lunch with Penny. 219 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,875 Take your time. Get a massage. 220 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:06,128 You deserve it after all the sleep you've been getting. 221 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,137 Maybe Barry will change his mind. 222 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,301 Oh, I doubt it. 223 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,679 I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. 224 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,520 I may have even used the "S" word. 225 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,057 Subpar? 226 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,439 I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper. 227 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,356 Well, I suppose we could pick a different date. 228 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,316 Well, it took you nine months to choose that one. 229 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,901 I'll pick a different husband first. 230 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,371 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 231 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:40,075 Hey, ljust, I wanted to apologize about the Athenaeum. 232 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,494 - Why did you lie to me? -l don't know. 233 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,170 It just seemed funny at first 234 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,124 and then the longer it went on, funnier it got. 235 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,469 So, yeah, I guess that's why. 236 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,681 That's not much of an apology. 237 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,432 Yeah, because he's not really sorry. 238 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,302 Obviously, he wanted a place to go where I wouldn't be 239 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,681 and apparently all of outside wasn't enough for him. 240 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,895 Come on. I do feel bad. 241 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,023 Uh, why? Did your best friend hurt your feelings? 242 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,228 - Come on, Sheldon. - Look, 243 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,279 I only have time to deal with one jerk right now 244 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,073 -and that's Barry Kripke. - What? 245 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,826 He has the Athenaeum booked for our wedding date 246 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,574 -and he won't give it up. - Yeah, so if you could just 247 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,621 please leave before I get angry 248 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,370 and say something I will regret about your face, your height, 249 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,248 your personal hygiene or the fact that your science, 250 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,080 while serviceable, lacks panache. 251 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,176 That's actually one of the nicest things you've ever said about my work. 252 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,220 And now I regret it. Goodbye. 253 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,347 Hey. There you are. 254 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,474 Yeah, ljust wanted to stop in and see my office 255 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:43,679 before we went to lunch. 256 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,731 Just a few more weeks, you'll be back full-time, huh? 257 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,225 Yeah. 258 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,528 Oh-oh. That wasn't a happy "yeah." 259 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,697 That was a "Hey, Leonard, do you want to go to the gym?" yeah. 260 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,651 I've just been thinking that maybe I'd rather 261 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,577 stay home with the kids and be a mom. 262 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,867 Wow. That's big. 263 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,073 I know. 264 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,660 Dr. Rostenkowski. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were back. 265 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,212 I'm not ljust came to meet Penny for lunch. 266 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,632 Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Water? 267 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,801 - No, I think we're just gonna... - Coffee sounds good. 268 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,553 - Cold brew, almond milk? - Perfect. 269 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,214 Nothing, nothing for me. 270 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,469 (CLEARS THROAT) 271 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,644 It's weird. I've been away so long I don't miss any of this. 272 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,974 (PHONE BEEPS) 273 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,805 MAN 1: Sorry to bother you. 274 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,890 Dr. Lee heard you were here and had a quick question. 275 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,726 Yeah, fine. Put him on. 276 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,531 Jerold, what's going on? Hope you're not screwing up my research. 277 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,698 You calling from a bike ride? 'Cause you're backpedaling hard. 278 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,367 All right, fine. Email it over. I'll take a look. 279 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:46,455 Mm-hmm. 280 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,581 Oh, sorry. Where were we? 281 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,496 Love your kids. Don't miss your job. 282 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,001 Right, right. 283 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,293 There's nothing in the world like holding your sleeping baby, 284 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,378 knowing you make him feel safe and then... 285 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,510 Oh, good, you got the little cookies I like. 286 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:03,180 I wouldn't mind a cookie. And he's gone. Okay. 287 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,518 (KNOCKS) 288 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,696 - Hey, Kripke. - Hello, Hofstadter. 289 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,158 Why are you cleaning that out yourself? Don't you have grad students? 290 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:23,697 Come on, I can't make my grad students do every dirty job 291 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,330 or so I've been told in writing by the head of Human Resources. 292 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,375 Fair enough. Uh, so, look, 293 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:34,082 I'm here to ask you to give Sheldon and Amy 294 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,587 the Athenaeum for their wedding. 295 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,050 (LAUGHS) 296 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,674 Why would I do that? 297 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:45,052 Because deep down, Barry, you're a really good guy. 298 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,854 But am I? 299 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,190 Fine. What's it gonna take? 300 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,324 Barry, I've come to ask one more... 301 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,990 Leonard? Why are you doing that? 302 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,578 Because deep down Barry is not a good guy. 303 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,920 Uh, he's making you clean out barrels of irradiated grease? 304 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,792 Yeah. Uh... 305 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,875 I made a deal with him 306 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,336 to get you the Athenaeum for your wedding. 307 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,050 Why would you do that? 308 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,975 Because I was a jerk for lying to you before 309 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,552 and besides, you're my best friend. 310 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,308 I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. 311 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,602 On Mars? 312 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,571 Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams. 313 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,781 Well, thank you. 314 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,030 But I don't want you to do this. 315 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,487 - No, it's okay. - No, it's not. 316 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,660 We're not going to let Barry win. 317 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:48,830 Well, what are we going to do? 318 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:52,160 We have a combined IQ of 360. 319 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:55,372 Perhaps more if that radiation gave you a super brain. 320 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,541 You know what? You're right. 321 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:02,428 If we work together we could totally outsmart Barry Kripke. 322 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,639 Leonard, my nose itches. What do I do? 323 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,479 (EXHALES) Boy. I really passed out hard. 324 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,771 Yeah, tell me about it. 325 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:24,029 The kids could've screamed bloody murder and you wouldn't have woken up. 326 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,577 Which I know because they did. 327 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,576 I'm sorry. 328 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,703 Why did I think I could do this on my own? 329 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,328 Hey, don't beat yourself up. Parenting is hard. 330 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:40,007 Like, I've seen and smelled things today that I cannot unsee or unsmell. 331 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,762 - Thanks for covering for me. - No, I mean he only drinks milk. 332 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,010 Like, where are the colors coming from? 333 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,562 - What time is it? - Uh, it's almost 6:00. 334 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,858 Okay. Bernadette's gonna be home soon. We gotta divide and conquer. 335 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,351 I'll make dinner. You watch the kids. 336 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,603 - Kids are asleep. - Great, then you make dinner. 337 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,196 Hey, good news, Amy. 338 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,320 We got the Athenaeum. 339 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,121 Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. 340 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,165 How'd you get Barry to change his mind? 341 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,909 Well, I couldn't have clone it without Leonard. 342 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,460 Boy, you should've seen us in there. 343 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,129 We were like Batman and Robin. 344 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,294 Why do I have to be Robin? 345 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,334 If you have to ask, you're Robin. 346 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,337 What happened? 347 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,094 Well, we scrubbed out some barrels of irradiated grease, 348 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:32,973 rinsed off in a safety shower and then told Barry Kripke what is what. 349 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,267 And he just gave in? 350 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,265 Well, we agreed to invite him to the wedding. 351 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,108 Okay. No problem. 352 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,484 And he gets to bring a date. 353 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,107 - Well, that's reasonable. - Yeah. 354 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,814 And if she charges by the hour, we have to cover it. 355 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,740 What else did you agree to? 356 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:53,991 Well, uh, you know how Barry has the voice of an angel? 357 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,077 He is not singing at our wedding. 358 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,413 He only wants to sing Volare. 359 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,957 Oh, Volare. 360 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,510 That's what he was saying. 361 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,509 Boy, I didn't, I did not get that. 362 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,058 Guys, I appreciate everything you did, 363 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,761 but we can find another location that's just as good. 364 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,472 Maybe the Japanese garden or the planetarium. 365 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,976 (GASPS) The planetarium. I hadn't thought about that. 366 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,230 That's even better. 367 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,568 Wait, what? 368 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,022 I scrubbed sludge for you. 369 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,109 Uh, I may be slightly radioactive. 370 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,410 Oh, you're exaggerating. 371 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,037 Don't let him touch the silverware. 372 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,751 Why is Raj asleep on our couch? 373 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,882 I needed some help so he came by, 374 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,630 played with the kids, read them some stories, 375 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,586 put them down for their nap and made dinner. 376 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,046 What'd you do? 377 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,220 Ate dinner. 378 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,096 Okay, look, I don't think I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home dad. 379 00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:01,270 And since you want to, you should stay home. 380 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,772 I do definitely want to, 381 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,900 but I know how much this means to you and it was just one day. 382 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,856 So, don't give up. 383 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,324 You don't want to stay home, either. Do you? 384 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,158 When I went by the office they gave me 385 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,205 coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. 386 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,661 I miss that so much. 387 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:26,712 Well, I love the kids, but I also love my job. 388 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,876 And sleep. 389 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,092 I know. I took a two-hour nap on the couch in my office. 390 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,807 I took a three-hour nap on the floor in the living room. 391 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,224 - How do you feel now? - Honestly? Still tired. 392 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,014 Me, too. 393 00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,230 -L love you. -l love you, too. 394 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,735 And we'll figure this all out. 395 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,108 Yeah. 396 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,565 Everyone's asleep. 397 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,911 You want to head upstairs and, 398 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:56,908 (CHUCKLES) you know. 399 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,166 Let's just do it right here. 400 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:03,123 Oh-oh, I like the way you think. 401 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,294 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 402 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:31,856 English - SDH 31129

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