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1
00:00:02,129 --> 00:00:03,278
I bought the Ginsu knife.
2
00:00:04,809 --> 00:00:06,845
I did buy the Ginsu knife.
3
00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:10,285
I know, you can't believe it,
but I did, I swear. I saw it.
4
00:00:10,449 --> 00:00:11,848
It was late, I'm watching...
5
00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:15,126
...and it started making sense to me.
I'm thinking:
6
00:00:15,289 --> 00:00:18,201
"Yeah, cut through the shoe,
cut through the can, yeah.
7
00:00:18,369 --> 00:00:19,563
Yeah, I want that."
8
00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:22,289
So I called up the number
on the screen, you know...
9
00:00:22,449 --> 00:00:25,486
...and I said, "I'd like to order
the Ginsu knife."
10
00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:28,004
And the lady went, "Really?"
11
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,406
I mean, even the Ginsu people
have given up.
12
00:00:30,569 --> 00:00:32,287
It's really so sad, you know.
13
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:36,203
I guess, to be honest, if you need
a knife that can cut through a shoe...
14
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:40,760
...perhaps you're not buying the
highest grade of meat available.
15
00:00:40,929 --> 00:00:45,207
Maybe you ought to think about not
getting the "hoof cut"once in a while.
16
00:00:51,249 --> 00:00:53,558
What is it about sleep
that mak es you so thirsty?
17
00:00:53,729 --> 00:00:55,685
Do dreams require liquid?
18
00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:59,125
It's not lik e I'm running a marathon,
I'm just lying there.
19
00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:01,281
What the hel?
Why is the door open?
20
00:01:05,489 --> 00:01:08,526
- Kramer, what are you doing here?!
- Jerry, now calm down. It's okay.
21
00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,361
- Oh, God.
- I'm sorry.
22
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,281
I didn't want to wake you up.
23
00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:14,405
I was watching
Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo...
24
00:01:14,569 --> 00:01:17,641
...and I- You know, I wanted
to get some popcorn...
25
00:01:17,809 --> 00:01:19,765
...so I used the spare keys
that you gave me...
26
00:01:19,929 --> 00:01:21,920
...to come in to get your popper.
27
00:01:22,089 --> 00:01:24,284
- You scared me!
- It's just me.
28
00:01:24,449 --> 00:01:28,124
- That's enough!
- Yeah, okay. Forgot the popper.
29
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It's not broken.
30
00:01:39,329 --> 00:01:42,048
Come on.
31
00:01:48,529 --> 00:01:50,042
Kramer!
32
00:01:50,209 --> 00:01:51,483
What are you doing?
33
00:01:51,649 --> 00:01:52,923
What does it look like? What?
34
00:01:53,089 --> 00:01:55,205
Get out of the bathroom. I gotta go!
35
00:01:55,369 --> 00:01:57,246
All right, all right.
36
00:01:57,689 --> 00:02:00,157
- Come on!
- All right.
37
00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:04,648
- Move it, move it! Get going!
- Well, my drain's all clogged up.
38
00:02:05,169 --> 00:02:08,844
- Is that my towel?
- Yes.
39
00:02:11,289 --> 00:02:14,087
I'm really happy the movie
was sold out.
40
00:02:14,249 --> 00:02:16,285
You ever pretend there's
murderers chasing you...
41
00:02:16,449 --> 00:02:18,883
...and see how fast you can
get into your apartment?
42
00:02:19,049 --> 00:02:21,609
I'm from Wichita.
43
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,004
- There he is!
- Hurry, Jerry, he's coming.
44
00:02:25,169 --> 00:02:28,320
- He's coming. The murderers!
- Hurry. Hurry, he's coming. Hurry!
45
00:02:28,489 --> 00:02:30,400
Oh, Jerry.
46
00:02:32,049 --> 00:02:34,005
Boy, that was close.
47
00:02:34,169 --> 00:02:36,637
Did you see the look
on that guy's face?
48
00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:42,281
- You were so fast with those keys.
- Well...
49
00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:48,603
- Beautiful.
- Kramer!
50
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,168
What the hell are you doing here?
51
00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:53,401
Hey, Jerry, how are you? I thought
you were going to the movies.
52
00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:54,763
That's it, hand them over.
53
00:02:54,929 --> 00:02:56,248
- What?
- You know what. The keys.
54
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,808
You've lost your key privileges.
55
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,197
- Oh, come on.
- No "come on."
56
00:02:59,369 --> 00:03:01,599
- I thought you went to the movie.
- It was sold out.
57
00:03:01,769 --> 00:03:03,487
How was I to know
it would be sold out?
58
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:05,162
- That's the point.
- What point?
59
00:03:05,329 --> 00:03:07,604
- Just give me the keys.
- Just give me another chance.
60
00:03:07,769 --> 00:03:09,088
- Don't ask me.
- I'm asking you.
61
00:03:09,249 --> 00:03:10,602
- I'm telling you.
- You're joking.
62
00:03:10,769 --> 00:03:12,327
- I'm serious.
- It won't happen again.
63
00:03:12,489 --> 00:03:14,127
- It will. Give me the keys.
- No.
64
00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:15,881
- Let go.
- You let go. Come on, Jerry.
65
00:03:16,049 --> 00:03:18,722
Now, stop it. Come on, Kramer.
66
00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:22,048
Oh, great! Okay, all right.
67
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:23,961
Fine, you go ahead. Take the keys.
68
00:03:24,129 --> 00:03:25,767
But you're gonna regret this.
69
00:03:25,929 --> 00:03:27,920
All right, yeah.
70
00:03:32,489 --> 00:03:33,808
Goochie.
71
00:03:35,409 --> 00:03:37,684
- So put them in a safe place.
- I will.
72
00:03:37,849 --> 00:03:39,567
- Where?
- I don't know.
73
00:03:39,729 --> 00:03:41,003
I'll hide them.
74
00:03:41,169 --> 00:03:43,080
- So is Kramer upset?
- I think so.
75
00:03:43,249 --> 00:03:45,638
I mean, he's acting really weird lately.
He's different.
76
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:48,518
- Just give him the keys back.
- No, I can't.
77
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:52,325
Is that Kramer?
78
00:03:53,329 --> 00:03:55,763
- Who's there?
- Kramer.
79
00:03:56,769 --> 00:04:00,444
Hey. Oh, hi. Oh, you got the...
80
00:04:02,649 --> 00:04:05,561
- No, I am not-
- No, no, it's okay. It's okay.
81
00:04:05,729 --> 00:04:08,197
I don't care about the keys.
It's my fault.
82
00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:10,758
No, I gave the keys away
with my stupidity.
83
00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:13,318
I broke the covenant of the keys.
84
00:04:15,409 --> 00:04:17,798
- Jerry, give him the keys back.
- Elaine.
85
00:04:17,969 --> 00:04:19,482
- Here.
- What are you doing?
86
00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:21,560
- I'm giving him the keys.
- Those are my keys.
87
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,289
- Let go! Jerry! No!
- Elaine. Come on.
88
00:04:24,449 --> 00:04:27,122
Stop it! Stop it!
I don't want the keys back.
89
00:04:27,289 --> 00:04:29,325
No, I'm glad the way
things turned out.
90
00:04:29,489 --> 00:04:31,320
I was clinging to those keys, man...
91
00:04:31,489 --> 00:04:34,287
...like a branch on the banks
of a raging river...
92
00:04:34,449 --> 00:04:35,882
...and now I have let go.
93
00:04:36,249 --> 00:04:39,161
And I'm free to go with the current...
94
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,001
...to float.
95
00:04:41,169 --> 00:04:42,522
- And I thank you.
- Take the keys.
96
00:04:42,689 --> 00:04:44,725
- I don't want them.
- I want you to have them.
97
00:04:44,889 --> 00:04:47,278
- I don't want them! I can't.
- Come on. Take them!
98
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:50,122
- No!
- Okay.
99
00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:51,768
Now, one more thing.
100
00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,567
I would like my keys back.
101
00:04:53,849 --> 00:04:56,363
- Your spare set?
- Yeah, that's right.
102
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,440
- You want them back?
- Yeah, yeah...
103
00:04:58,609 --> 00:05:00,122
...I think it would be for the best.
104
00:05:16,209 --> 00:05:17,642
Gee, Kramer, I...
105
00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:19,003
I don't know what to say.
106
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,726
Say yes.
107
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,084
Yes, George, yes.
108
00:05:25,569 --> 00:05:27,719
- Yes?
- Yes.
109
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:32,440
Should I give you my keys?
Is that the transaction, trading keys?
110
00:05:32,609 --> 00:05:34,998
- Because Elaine has my keys.
- You can get them back.
111
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,088
I suppose I could.
112
00:05:37,849 --> 00:05:41,000
Because you see, George,
having the keys to Jerry's apartment...
113
00:05:41,169 --> 00:05:44,559
...that kept me in a fantasy world.
114
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:48,001
Every time I went over to his house,
it was like I was on vacation.
115
00:05:48,169 --> 00:05:51,002
Better food, better view, better TV.
116
00:05:51,169 --> 00:05:53,000
Cleaner. Oh, much cleaner.
117
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:55,403
That became my reality.
118
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,084
I ignored the squalor
in my own life...
119
00:05:58,249 --> 00:06:01,286
...because I'm looking at life, you see,
through Jerry's eyes.
120
00:06:02,689 --> 00:06:04,088
I was living in twilight, George.
121
00:06:04,249 --> 00:06:07,559
Living in the shadows,
living in the darkness...
122
00:06:07,729 --> 00:06:09,162
...like you.
123
00:06:11,889 --> 00:06:13,527
- Me?
- Oh, yeah.
124
00:06:13,689 --> 00:06:15,520
I can barely see you, George.
125
00:06:16,689 --> 00:06:19,726
All right, stop it, Kramer.
You're freaking me out.
126
00:06:20,809 --> 00:06:22,288
Hi. Are you ready to order?
127
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,201
- Yeah. What's the-?
- No, not yet.
128
00:06:24,369 --> 00:06:26,360
Excuse me.
129
00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:32,683
Do you ever yearn?
130
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:36,359
Yearn? Do I yearn?
131
00:06:37,009 --> 00:06:38,488
- I yearn.
- You yearn?
132
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,367
Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn.
133
00:06:40,529 --> 00:06:44,647
Often I sit and yearn.
134
00:06:45,369 --> 00:06:47,166
Have you yearned?
135
00:06:48,129 --> 00:06:50,359
Well, not recently.
136
00:06:51,089 --> 00:06:53,000
I craved.
137
00:06:53,169 --> 00:06:55,729
I crave all the time.
Constant craving.
138
00:06:55,889 --> 00:06:57,959
But I haven't yearned.
139
00:07:00,489 --> 00:07:02,480
- Look at you.
- Oh, Kramer, don't start.
140
00:07:02,649 --> 00:07:04,685
No, no. You're wasting your life.
141
00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:07,727
I am not.
What you call wasting, I call living.
142
00:07:07,889 --> 00:07:11,040
- I'm living my life.
- Okay, like what? No, tell me.
143
00:07:11,209 --> 00:07:13,086
- Do you have a job?
- No.
144
00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:15,160
- You got money?
- No.
145
00:07:15,329 --> 00:07:17,160
Do you have a woman?
146
00:07:17,649 --> 00:07:19,082
No.
147
00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:20,648
Do you have any prospects?
148
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,561
No.
149
00:07:23,729 --> 00:07:26,038
You got anything on the horizon?
150
00:07:29,329 --> 00:07:30,921
No.
151
00:07:31,569 --> 00:07:34,845
- You have any action at all?
- No.
152
00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:38,399
Do you have any conceivable reason
for even getting up in the morning?
153
00:07:39,569 --> 00:07:42,322
I like to get the Daily News.
154
00:07:43,969 --> 00:07:47,678
George, it's time for us
to grow up and be men...
155
00:07:47,849 --> 00:07:49,919
- ... not little boys.
- Why?
156
00:07:50,089 --> 00:07:52,125
I'm going to California.
You know, I got the bug.
157
00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:54,439
Yeah, I think I got
a touch of something too.
158
00:07:54,609 --> 00:07:57,442
No, the acting bug. Ever since
I was in that Woody Allen movie.
159
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,689
"These pretzels
are making me thirsty"?
160
00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:02,840
That was one line. You got fired.
161
00:08:03,009 --> 00:08:06,445
I know, I know.
But, man, I never felt so alive.
162
00:08:06,609 --> 00:08:09,646
- Now, you coming with me?
- No, I'm not.
163
00:08:09,809 --> 00:08:11,720
All right. Suit yourself.
164
00:08:11,889 --> 00:08:13,481
But let's keep this between us.
165
00:08:13,649 --> 00:08:15,685
We're key brothers now.
166
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,245
You're not really gonna go
to California, are you?
167
00:08:18,409 --> 00:08:21,401
Up here, I'm already gone.
168
00:08:27,249 --> 00:08:28,682
He gave me his spare keys...
169
00:08:28,849 --> 00:08:31,317
...and now he wants my keys,
so I need mine back from you.
170
00:08:31,489 --> 00:08:33,639
Because you have his keys?
Why does he need yours?
171
00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:37,040
I don't know, he said
he wants to be my key brother.
172
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,962
- That's ridiculous.
- That's Kramer.
173
00:08:40,609 --> 00:08:43,726
I'll give you back your spare keys,
but now I want mine back.
174
00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:45,761
What for?
175
00:08:45,929 --> 00:08:48,489
- Because I'll give them to Jerry.
- Jerry? Why?
176
00:08:48,649 --> 00:08:51,004
- Because he gave me his.
- So what?
177
00:08:52,209 --> 00:08:55,087
So if he has my keys,
I should have his.
178
00:08:55,249 --> 00:08:56,728
I don't see why if you have his...
179
00:08:56,889 --> 00:08:59,244
- ... he should have yours.
- I just said the same thing.
180
00:08:59,409 --> 00:09:01,923
- What?
- What?
181
00:09:02,089 --> 00:09:04,205
I'll give you my keys,
but I don't have them here.
182
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:05,882
Can I have mine to give to Kramer?
183
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:08,883
Yeah, okay, I'll go get them.
184
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:14,127
What are you doing?
Would you just put that down?
185
00:09:14,289 --> 00:09:16,644
I gotta get some new friends.
186
00:09:18,169 --> 00:09:19,807
- Did you bring the keys?
- Yes.
187
00:09:19,969 --> 00:09:22,688
But I still don't feel right
about letting you into Kramer's.
188
00:09:22,849 --> 00:09:24,168
This could be an emergency.
189
00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:27,560
- You shouldn't have taken his keys.
- I tried to give them back.
190
00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:30,203
- How'd the Mets do?
- They lost.
191
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,405
- Kramer!
- Come on, open it up.
192
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,369
- Kramer?
- Hello, boys.
193
00:09:39,129 --> 00:09:42,246
- Hello, Newman.
- Are you looking for someone?
194
00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:44,445
Don't play coy with me,
I'm not in the mood.
195
00:09:44,609 --> 00:09:46,725
Coy? I'm not being coy.
196
00:09:46,889 --> 00:09:48,208
- Is he being coy?
- Yeah, coy.
197
00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:51,042
You're being coy.
Now, where's Kramer, Newman?
198
00:09:51,209 --> 00:09:54,007
- Who?
- Listen, Tiny...
199
00:09:54,769 --> 00:09:57,078
...I wanna know where Kramer is,
and I wanna know now!
200
00:09:57,249 --> 00:09:59,683
- Hit me, Seinfeld, I got witnesses.
- Turn around, George.
201
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:00,998
- Sure.
- George?
202
00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:03,478
Tell me where Kramer is
or we'll do this the hard way!
203
00:10:03,649 --> 00:10:05,241
- Help! Help!
- Where's Kramer?
204
00:10:05,409 --> 00:10:06,762
- Help!
- What's going on?
205
00:10:06,929 --> 00:10:09,523
- They're gonna beat me up.
- No, we're not.
206
00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:11,407
We're trying to find Kramer.
207
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,037
You want to know what happened
to Kramer? I'll tell you.
208
00:10:14,209 --> 00:10:15,961
He was ticked off about the keys.
209
00:10:16,129 --> 00:10:18,802
Yeah, that's right, about the keys.
210
00:10:19,729 --> 00:10:21,481
- Thought he got a bad rap.
- Bad rap?
211
00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:22,968
- Yeah, from you.
- Me?
212
00:10:23,129 --> 00:10:25,848
You heard me. So he packed a grip
and he split for the coast.
213
00:10:26,009 --> 00:10:27,886
La-la land. L.A.
214
00:10:28,529 --> 00:10:30,087
L.A.?
215
00:11:03,089 --> 00:11:05,284
I never should have taken
his keys away.
216
00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:07,644
He drove me to it, I had no choice.
217
00:11:07,809 --> 00:11:09,561
He wouldn't take them back.
218
00:11:09,729 --> 00:11:11,401
Elaine, you saw it. Remember?
219
00:11:11,569 --> 00:11:14,129
I said, "Take the keys back."
He wouldn't do anything.
220
00:11:14,289 --> 00:11:15,927
You saw it. Didn't you see it?
221
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:17,920
Yeah, yeah, I saw it.
222
00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:20,364
I mean, it was complete bull-
But I saw.
223
00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:25,008
- What?
- No, what'd you say?
224
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:27,888
Nothing. I didn't say anything.
225
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:31,723
Oh, you didn't see it?
226
00:11:31,889 --> 00:11:33,800
Yeah, I saw it. I saw it.
227
00:11:33,969 --> 00:11:36,961
- I saw it. Yep.
- I heard you say something there.
228
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,917
- I didn't say anything.
- I'm calling Kramer's mother.
229
00:11:43,889 --> 00:11:47,325
I don't know what you said,
but it was something.
230
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,766
I heard something.
231
00:11:51,049 --> 00:11:53,802
Hello? Hello, Mrs. Kramer?
232
00:11:54,209 --> 00:11:55,767
Mrs. Kramer?
233
00:11:55,929 --> 00:11:58,568
Could you turn the music down?
234
00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:01,448
Could you turn the music down?
235
00:12:01,729 --> 00:12:05,085
- Ask her about Kramer.
- She's drunk out of her mind.
236
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:25,843
Oh, my keys.
237
00:12:28,089 --> 00:12:30,364
This is perfect.
238
00:12:34,089 --> 00:12:36,523
Elaine, are you there?
239
00:12:37,169 --> 00:12:40,559
It's me. I'm locked out.
I need my spare keys. Where are you?
240
00:12:40,729 --> 00:12:42,765
I'm at the coffee shop.
241
00:12:46,049 --> 00:12:49,325
Hey! You ever been in an accident?
242
00:12:49,489 --> 00:12:51,241
About five years ago.
243
00:12:51,969 --> 00:12:54,529
I was going down this very road.
244
00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:59,365
Same time of day, going about
the same speed I'm going now.
245
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,406
There was a rock in the road.
246
00:13:01,569 --> 00:13:03,446
It couldn't have been
more than a pebble.
247
00:13:03,609 --> 00:13:05,645
Never really saw it.
248
00:13:05,809 --> 00:13:10,200
Lost control of the bike,
went flying about a hundred feet.
249
00:13:10,369 --> 00:13:12,439
Came down right on my head.
250
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:14,281
Cracked it wide open.
251
00:13:14,449 --> 00:13:18,442
Blood and stuff just splattered
all over the road there.
252
00:13:18,809 --> 00:13:21,562
Broke every bone in my face.
253
00:13:22,449 --> 00:13:23,928
You know, when they found me...
254
00:13:24,089 --> 00:13:27,161
...my eyes were hanging out
of their sockets.
255
00:13:27,689 --> 00:13:30,328
Yeah, they pronounced me dead
at the scene.
256
00:13:30,489 --> 00:13:34,448
Was in a coma for...
Well, they told me about a year.
257
00:13:34,609 --> 00:13:37,328
Said I'd be a vegetable for life.
258
00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:40,208
Yeah, but I showed them.
259
00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:43,640
Of course, since then,
I always wear a helmet.
260
00:13:43,929 --> 00:13:45,487
Lean.
261
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,161
Lean!
262
00:13:53,009 --> 00:13:54,601
Georgie boy.
263
00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:57,044
Way to come through with the keys.
264
00:13:57,209 --> 00:14:00,281
- Sit down, I'm buying you dinner.
- Look...
265
00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:03,885
...I just don't feel right about
letting you into Elaine's apartment.
266
00:14:05,769 --> 00:14:07,964
Don't feel right?
What are you talking about?
267
00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:10,597
I let you into Kramer's.
Now you wanna go into Elaine's.
268
00:14:10,769 --> 00:14:13,283
She entrusted me with her keys.
How can I just let you in?
269
00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:14,882
What is the big deal?
270
00:14:15,049 --> 00:14:16,960
Just because you have
someone's spare keys...
271
00:14:17,129 --> 00:14:18,721
...doesn't entitle you to break in.
272
00:14:18,889 --> 00:14:20,720
That's the reason you took
Kramer's keys.
273
00:14:20,889 --> 00:14:22,880
You're not even supposed
to have Elaine's keys.
274
00:14:23,049 --> 00:14:25,802
You're supposed to give them to her
so she can give them to me.
275
00:14:25,969 --> 00:14:28,039
So technically, those are my keys.
276
00:14:28,209 --> 00:14:30,120
If you'd never taken your keys
from Kramer...
277
00:14:30,289 --> 00:14:31,881
...he never would have given
his to me.
278
00:14:32,049 --> 00:14:34,927
In which case, I wouldn't have
had to take mine back from her.
279
00:14:35,969 --> 00:14:37,607
- I want those keys.
- No can do.
280
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:39,646
- George, I want these.
- Stop it, let go.
281
00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:42,607
- George, I don't want to get physical.
- You wanna fight?
282
00:14:42,769 --> 00:14:44,043
- Wanna fight?
- I'll fight you!
283
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:45,642
- Let's go.
- Nothing in the face!
284
00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:47,481
- Okay.
- All right.
285
00:14:50,769 --> 00:14:54,444
And then the evil ogre
took back the magical keys...
286
00:14:54,609 --> 00:14:56,167
...from the handsome young prince.
287
00:14:58,569 --> 00:15:01,083
Oh, no. He didn't
take back the keys.
288
00:15:01,249 --> 00:15:02,921
- No way.
- Yes.
289
00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:04,841
And then the handsome
young prince...
290
00:15:05,009 --> 00:15:07,807
...was cast out
into the cruel, cruel world.
291
00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,607
Oh, man, what a bummer.
292
00:15:09,769 --> 00:15:11,999
- That ogre dude is pretty cold, huh?
- He's cold.
293
00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:13,648
Let me tell you something, Kramer.
294
00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:17,006
If that ogre dude pulled
that crap on me...
295
00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:18,397
- ... I'd stab him!
- Wait.
296
00:15:18,729 --> 00:15:20,048
I'd cut him in half!
297
00:15:20,209 --> 00:15:22,769
I'd gut him like a fish, man!
298
00:15:22,929 --> 00:15:25,966
- That's what I'd do.
- Yeah, yeah. That'd be funny.
299
00:15:26,129 --> 00:15:27,687
Hey, you can drop me here.
300
00:15:27,849 --> 00:15:29,202
Hey, what's the rush, man?
301
00:15:29,369 --> 00:15:31,724
- Well, I got to be going now.
- Hey, Kramer...
302
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,720
...have you ever killed a man?
303
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,083
What do you think?
304
00:15:35,249 --> 00:15:39,242
You think these hands have been
soaking in Ivory Liquid, huh?
305
00:15:39,409 --> 00:15:41,969
Oh, don't leave, Kramer.
Stay with us.
306
00:15:42,129 --> 00:15:44,324
Oh, you know so much
about the world. We need you.
307
00:15:44,489 --> 00:15:46,923
- Please, Kramer.
- Please, Kramer.
308
00:15:47,089 --> 00:15:48,602
Well, now, Star Cloud-
309
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:50,407
- Okay, wait a minute.
- Please, Kramer.
310
00:15:50,569 --> 00:15:53,641
- No, no, no.
- Please, Kramer.
311
00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:56,365
See? You're avoiding
the middleman.
312
00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:59,043
You'd give her her keys,
which she would give to me.
313
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:02,121
So instead of giving them to her,
you give them to me.
314
00:16:02,289 --> 00:16:05,406
Unfortunately, when she gave
you yours, you didn't give her hers.
315
00:16:05,569 --> 00:16:07,480
She'd give them to me
because she has mine.
316
00:16:07,649 --> 00:16:09,480
Then I wouldn't have to ask you
for hers...
317
00:16:09,649 --> 00:16:11,685
...so that I could get mine.
318
00:16:14,529 --> 00:16:17,089
You're right. How did I miss that?
319
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,329
Maybe because it's a crock of sh-
320
00:16:22,489 --> 00:16:25,322
- What's that?
- Nothing.
321
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,089
- I heard something.
- Didn't say anything.
322
00:16:35,569 --> 00:16:37,844
So how long you been driving
this thing?
323
00:16:38,009 --> 00:16:39,886
Going on four years.
324
00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:44,599
Well, nothing's sexier than a woman
behind the wheel of a semi.
325
00:16:45,289 --> 00:16:46,847
Nothing?
326
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,641
Well...
327
00:16:52,689 --> 00:16:55,567
Listen to you.
You're quite the sweet talker.
328
00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:57,799
I always wanted to drive
the big rigs.
329
00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:01,086
I used to watch those commercials
during reruns of Gomer Pyle.
330
00:17:01,249 --> 00:17:03,888
- You wanna give it a try?
- Really?
331
00:17:05,329 --> 00:17:08,207
- Do you know how to double-clutch?
- Yeah.
332
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,963
- Well, come on.
- Wait a minute.
333
00:17:11,129 --> 00:17:12,687
Wait.
334
00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:18,922
Okay. All right.
335
00:17:32,489 --> 00:17:34,400
They were in here.
I saw her put them in here.
336
00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:36,207
Well, this is great.
337
00:17:36,369 --> 00:17:38,246
- What do they look like?
- Like keys.
338
00:17:38,409 --> 00:17:40,400
They look like keys, George.
339
00:17:40,569 --> 00:17:43,402
They look exactly like keys.
340
00:17:43,569 --> 00:17:46,447
"What do they look like?"
341
00:17:46,929 --> 00:17:49,602
- They're obviously not here.
- They've got to be here.
342
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:54,638
Jerry, unless I pull down on this
statuette and a hidden wall opens up...
343
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:57,164
...we have checked every square inch
of this apartment.
344
00:17:58,849 --> 00:18:00,646
What is this?
345
00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:05,167
- "Murphy Brown"?
- What?
346
00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:07,560
- "By Elaine Benes"?
- What?
347
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:09,959
Elaine's writing a Murphy Brown?
348
00:18:10,809 --> 00:18:12,322
- Let me see this.
- Wait a second.
349
00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:14,127
- Let me just look at it.
- Wait.
350
00:18:14,289 --> 00:18:17,486
- Give me half!
- All right, here!
351
00:18:18,769 --> 00:18:20,760
Why didn't she tell us?
352
00:18:20,929 --> 00:18:25,002
Elaine is writing a sitcom?
353
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,967
- You- You weasels!
- What?
354
00:18:33,129 --> 00:18:34,403
- What?
- How dare you!
355
00:18:34,569 --> 00:18:36,366
- We hardly read anything.
- It was funny.
356
00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:38,087
Who gave you permission
to come in...
357
00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:39,807
...and just go through my things?
358
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:42,767
- You thought it was funny?
- Well, you know...
359
00:18:43,049 --> 00:18:45,802
- ... from what I saw-
- Well, it's just a first draft!
360
00:18:45,969 --> 00:18:48,164
I was locked out.
I'm just trying to get my keys.
361
00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:51,078
- Why did you let him in?
- He forced me to.
362
00:18:51,249 --> 00:18:52,398
- I did not!
- Yes, you did!
363
00:18:52,569 --> 00:18:56,118
- You, get out! Get out!
- Wait, I need my spare keys.
364
00:18:56,289 --> 00:18:58,280
Oh, here's your damn keys.
You keep them.
365
00:18:58,449 --> 00:18:59,882
- I don't want them anymore.
- Good.
366
00:19:00,049 --> 00:19:01,482
I want my keys back from you.
367
00:19:01,649 --> 00:19:03,879
- I can't hold them?
- No, you can't be trusted.
368
00:19:04,049 --> 00:19:06,040
All right, all right. Fine!
369
00:19:06,209 --> 00:19:08,848
- And I don't want you to hold mine.
- Good, I won't!
370
00:19:09,009 --> 00:19:10,158
Good, don't.
371
00:19:10,329 --> 00:19:12,320
- Are these my keys?
- These aren't my keys.
372
00:19:12,489 --> 00:19:14,923
- Whose are these?
- I don't know.
373
00:19:15,089 --> 00:19:16,841
No, those are yours...
374
00:19:27,289 --> 00:19:29,166
I just thought I could write it.
375
00:19:29,329 --> 00:19:31,285
Is that something you wanna do?
376
00:19:31,449 --> 00:19:33,201
I don't know.
377
00:19:33,369 --> 00:19:36,406
Those writers make a lot of money.
378
00:19:38,489 --> 00:19:39,717
What?
379
00:19:39,889 --> 00:19:42,084
Let me tell you something
about show business.
380
00:19:43,409 --> 00:19:45,684
- I can't believe it.
- It's hard work.
381
00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:47,840
You don't just write
a Murphy Brown.
382
00:19:48,009 --> 00:19:50,569
You gotta watch the show,
get a sense of the characters...
383
00:19:50,729 --> 00:19:52,367
...how they relate to each other.
384
00:19:52,529 --> 00:19:55,248
Okay, can I just watch the show?
385
00:19:57,009 --> 00:19:59,967
Oh, God, what an ass-
386
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:06,960
What did you say?
387
00:20:08,529 --> 00:20:10,440
I didn't say anything.
388
00:20:11,729 --> 00:20:13,799
I heard something.
389
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:16,688
Elaine, Elaine, it's Kramer!
390
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,488
Kramer's on Murphy Brown!
391
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,645
- Kramer's on Murphy Brown!
- Look, there he is!
392
00:20:22,809 --> 00:20:25,004
He's sitting at the desk!
393
00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:26,763
Hi, I'm Murphy Brown.
394
00:20:26,929 --> 00:20:29,682
- You must be my new secretary.
- Good morning, Miss Brown.
395
00:20:29,849 --> 00:20:32,727
- And you are?
- I'm Steven Snel.
396
00:20:32,889 --> 00:20:34,527
- Snel.
- Yes.
397
00:20:34,689 --> 00:20:36,486
Wel, helo, Mr. Snel.
398
00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:37,923
Steven.
399
00:20:38,089 --> 00:20:39,238
- Steven.
- Yes.
400
00:20:39,409 --> 00:20:41,240
Are you familiar with this
computer system?
401
00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:44,287
Oh, I'm familiar, yes.
402
00:20:44,449 --> 00:20:47,247
Steven Snel, I know people...
403
00:20:47,409 --> 00:20:49,798
...and I have a very good feeling
about you.
404
00:20:49,969 --> 00:20:51,800
Yes.
405
00:21:01,289 --> 00:21:04,361
So I fly a lot. I was on a plane
the other day and I was wondering...
406
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:08,363
...are there keys to the plane?
Do they need keys to start the plane?
407
00:21:08,529 --> 00:21:12,044
Maybe that's what those delays on the
ground are sometimes, at the gate.
408
00:21:12,209 --> 00:21:14,279
Maybe the pilot's up in
the cockpit going:
409
00:21:14,449 --> 00:21:16,280
"Oh, I don't believe this.
410
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,440
Oh, my God...
411
00:21:18,609 --> 00:21:20,600
...I did it again."
412
00:21:21,169 --> 00:21:22,443
They tell you it's mechanical.
413
00:21:22,609 --> 00:21:24,565
They don't want to come on
the PA system:
414
00:21:24,729 --> 00:21:25,923
"Ladies and gentlemen...
415
00:21:26,089 --> 00:21:28,603
...we're gonna be delayed here
a little while. I...
416
00:21:28,889 --> 00:21:31,403
Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.
417
00:21:31,569 --> 00:21:34,322
I left the keys to the plane
in my apartment."
418
00:21:34,489 --> 00:21:37,003
You see technicians,
you think they're servicing it...
419
00:21:37,169 --> 00:21:40,320
...but they're looking for the magnet
Hide-A-Key under the wing.
420
00:21:40,489 --> 00:21:43,083
"Maybe he left it up there
somewhere."
421
00:22:28,809 --> 00:22:30,800
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