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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,397 --> 00:00:06,957 - Good evening, good afternoon, good morning! 2 00:00:06,957 --> 00:00:09,397 Now you see those greetings work two fold. 3 00:00:09,397 --> 00:00:12,168 Firstly, because this is an international stream, 4 00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:14,926 so we have audience members from all around the world, 5 00:00:14,926 --> 00:00:17,517 different countries, different time zones. 6 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,979 Hello, 7 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,606 And secondly, because I have absolutely no idea 8 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,619 what time of day it is anymore. 9 00:00:24,619 --> 00:00:29,236 But welcome to the theater, live in your living room. 10 00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:30,153 How quaint. 11 00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:34,667 Now here at the the Chateau du Theatre Digital. 12 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:37,616 We have slightly different rules to most theaters. 13 00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:38,845 For example, we can't ask you 14 00:00:38,845 --> 00:00:40,656 to turn off your electronic devices, 15 00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:42,764 'cause you wouldn't be able to watch the darned thing. 16 00:00:42,764 --> 00:00:45,077 So instead we ask that you keep them on, 17 00:00:45,077 --> 00:00:46,496 you turn them up loud 18 00:00:46,496 --> 00:00:48,445 and you tweet along with the show 19 00:00:48,445 --> 00:00:52,005 using the hashtag #firstdatemusical. 20 00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:54,146 I know, shameless. 21 00:00:54,146 --> 00:00:54,979 Speaking of shameless, 22 00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:57,347 if there's any single guys out there 23 00:00:57,347 --> 00:01:00,525 who might feel lonely after watching this romantic musical, 24 00:01:00,525 --> 00:01:04,763 please know that my DMs are open and I am desperate. 25 00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:07,573 Now, there will be one brief intermission 26 00:01:07,573 --> 00:01:11,740 or as the Brits call it, an interval or wine time. 27 00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:17,467 So, enjoy this American musical brought to you entirely 28 00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:21,845 by British actors in the middle of a global pandemic. 29 00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:24,444 And if you don't enjoy it, well, screw you. 30 00:01:24,444 --> 00:01:25,944 We worked so hard. 31 00:01:27,197 --> 00:01:29,895 Now, pour yourself a glass of wine, 32 00:01:29,895 --> 00:01:33,812 fill your face with snacks, and enjoy the show. 33 00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:41,607 ♪ How does it start ♪ 34 00:02:41,607 --> 00:02:43,399 ♪ How does it last ♪ 35 00:02:43,399 --> 00:02:46,539 ♪ It's a miracle two people get together ♪ 36 00:02:46,539 --> 00:02:49,880 ♪ How does your heart choose who to cast ♪ 37 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,179 ♪ In a partner for the night or for forever ♪ 38 00:02:53,179 --> 00:02:56,440 ♪ Every date you go on is feeling like a chore ♪ 39 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,528 ♪ Can you trust your judgment when it's been so poor ♪ 40 00:02:59,528 --> 00:03:01,127 ♪ You've gotten burned ♪ 41 00:03:01,127 --> 00:03:02,150 ♪ Wish you could run ♪ 42 00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:03,680 ♪ But if you do ♪ 43 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,248 ♪ Then you'll never ever find the one ♪ 44 00:03:06,248 --> 00:03:08,559 ♪ The one ♪ 45 00:03:08,559 --> 00:03:13,559 ♪ Are you ever gonna find the one ♪ 46 00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:15,990 ♪ How will it go ♪ 47 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:17,539 ♪ Where will it lead ♪ 48 00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:20,640 ♪ Will tonight become a lifetime full of magic ♪ 49 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,139 ♪ Go with the flow ♪ 50 00:03:22,139 --> 00:03:23,870 ♪ You might succeed ♪ 51 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,099 ♪ Meeting someone you don't think is fuckin' tragic ♪ 52 00:03:27,099 --> 00:03:30,268 ♪ Will the minutes feel like hours, even years ♪ 53 00:03:30,268 --> 00:03:33,488 ♪ Or will you connect and share your deepest fears ♪ 54 00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:36,579 ♪ It's so damn hard and so not fun ♪ 55 00:03:36,579 --> 00:03:37,659 ♪ Still you go on ♪ 56 00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:42,531 ♪ In that endless search to find the one, the one ♪ 57 00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:47,531 ♪ Are you ever gonna find the one ♪ 58 00:03:47,838 --> 00:03:50,550 ♪ How do you stay optimistic ♪ 59 00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:54,160 ♪ When there are so many ways to fail ♪ 60 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,008 ♪ Don't wanna be another statistic ♪ 61 00:03:57,008 --> 00:04:00,429 ♪ Who didn't get the fairy tale ♪ 62 00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:05,429 ♪ Where the hell's the fairy tale ♪ 63 00:04:06,048 --> 00:04:07,667 ♪ Dating's a bitch it's such a bitch ♪ 64 00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,438 ♪ Dating's unfair it's so unfair ♪ 65 00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:12,538 ♪ It's like a battle where you find out what you're made of ♪ 66 00:04:12,538 --> 00:04:13,408 ♪ Wish you could ditch ♪ 67 00:04:13,408 --> 00:04:14,241 ♪ Let's ditch ♪ 68 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:15,074 ♪ This cruel affair ♪ 69 00:04:15,074 --> 00:04:15,907 ♪ This affair ♪ 70 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:19,238 ♪ The stakes are high and there's so much to be afraid of ♪ 71 00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:22,427 ♪ When you're far from perfect stuck in your own way ♪ 72 00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:25,436 ♪ All your baggage keeps your chance of love at bay ♪ 73 00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:26,878 ♪ And so until ♪ 74 00:04:26,878 --> 00:04:28,448 ♪ The game is done ♪ 75 00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:31,928 ♪ You hold out hope that before you lose your mind ♪ 76 00:04:31,928 --> 00:04:35,158 ♪ You'll meet your match and won't end up left behind ♪ 77 00:04:35,158 --> 00:04:38,718 ♪ Maybe tonight is the night you're gonna find the one ♪ 78 00:04:38,718 --> 00:04:39,551 ♪ The one ♪ 79 00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:40,384 ♪ The one ♪ 80 00:04:40,384 --> 00:04:41,217 ♪ The one ♪ 81 00:04:41,217 --> 00:04:43,546 ♪ Could tonight be when you find the one ♪ 82 00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:44,379 ♪ The one ♪ 83 00:04:44,379 --> 00:04:45,212 ♪ The one ♪ 84 00:04:45,212 --> 00:04:46,045 ♪ The one ♪ 85 00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:50,358 ♪ Could tonight be when you find the one ♪ 86 00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,448 - Hi. - Hey. 87 00:05:04,448 --> 00:05:06,948 - Are you waiting for a table? 88 00:05:07,804 --> 00:05:08,637 - You know what? 89 00:05:08,637 --> 00:05:09,949 I'm gonna wait and see how the drinks portion 90 00:05:09,949 --> 00:05:10,927 of the evening goes first 91 00:05:10,927 --> 00:05:12,687 and then we'll see how it goes from there. 92 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,658 I don't wanna be too presumptuous. 93 00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:14,491 You know what I mean? 94 00:05:15,324 --> 00:05:17,235 - Well, can I get you something while you wait? 95 00:05:17,235 --> 00:05:18,818 Beer, vodka, Xanax? 96 00:05:20,846 --> 00:05:21,937 - I'll just have a beer please. 97 00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:23,566 Yeah, does that sound right? 98 00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:26,646 Yes, I will have a beer, thank you. 99 00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,425 - Do you care what kind? 100 00:05:28,425 --> 00:05:29,585 - Just something on tap. 101 00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:32,985 In a big glass, a big, big manly glass. 102 00:05:32,985 --> 00:05:36,566 Oh, so this is a first date, huh? 103 00:05:36,566 --> 00:05:39,153 - Yeah, is it that obvious? 104 00:05:39,153 --> 00:05:41,745 - Well, you got pretty dressed up for it, didn't you? 105 00:05:41,745 --> 00:05:43,435 - Yeah, I came from work. 106 00:05:43,435 --> 00:05:44,945 I thought the suit would make me seem impressive 107 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,817 and or distinguished. 108 00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:48,217 Am I wrong? 109 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,515 - Honestly, I think it's making you seem desperate 110 00:05:50,515 --> 00:05:52,097 and or douche-y. 111 00:05:52,097 --> 00:05:53,366 But maybe I'm wrong. 112 00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:54,715 - She's gonna be here any second, 113 00:05:54,715 --> 00:05:56,385 what am I supposed to do now? 114 00:05:56,385 --> 00:05:57,337 - That's okay, relax. 115 00:05:57,337 --> 00:05:59,398 Just to get rid of the tie. 116 00:05:59,398 --> 00:06:02,438 - Okay, yeah, yeah, tie's going away. 117 00:06:02,438 --> 00:06:04,086 Let's lose the tie. 118 00:06:04,086 --> 00:06:06,027 A tie going, bye-bye. 119 00:06:06,027 --> 00:06:09,860 I can , thank you. 120 00:06:11,425 --> 00:06:13,276 And loose the glasses. 121 00:06:13,276 --> 00:06:16,139 Yeah, okay,. 122 00:06:16,139 --> 00:06:19,139 - Wow, we're gonna keep the glasses. 123 00:06:20,688 --> 00:06:22,328 - Yup. 124 00:06:22,328 --> 00:06:23,717 - And pop the collar a little. 125 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,217 - Oh, okay popping, pop again. 126 00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:28,064 - And okay. 127 00:06:31,987 --> 00:06:33,285 - Okay what? 128 00:06:33,285 --> 00:06:34,718 - Honey, that's all I got. 129 00:06:36,202 --> 00:06:37,589 Can I help you? 130 00:06:37,589 --> 00:06:39,109 - I don't know, maybe it depends. 131 00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:41,768 I'm supposed to be meeting some random guy here for a drink. 132 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:45,859 - Oh, you must be the other half of the first date. 133 00:06:45,859 --> 00:06:47,648 He's already here. 134 00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:48,869 - He is? 135 00:06:48,869 --> 00:06:49,702 How is he? 136 00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:51,429 'Cause my sister said he might in fact 137 00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:53,708 be the man of my dreams. 138 00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:54,541 - She did? 139 00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:57,460 Are you and your sister close? 140 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,979 - Oh shit, I knew it, okay, be honest. 141 00:06:59,979 --> 00:07:01,420 What are we dealing with here? 142 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:04,180 Asks a million questions, guys, super sweaty guy, 143 00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,158 overconfident guy, what? 144 00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:07,610 - No, no, no. 145 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,399 I think he's... 146 00:07:09,399 --> 00:07:13,308 Well, I'm just gonna to let you decide that for yourself. 147 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,890 He's right over there. 148 00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:21,639 - Oh, allergy guy, good times. 149 00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:25,548 Bring me a shot of something strong, will you? 150 00:07:25,548 --> 00:07:29,588 And a chaser of something even stronger. 151 00:07:29,588 --> 00:07:30,930 Hi, Casey, you must be- 152 00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:33,263 - Hi, Aaron, yes, that's me. 153 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,348 Nice to meet you. 154 00:07:35,348 --> 00:07:36,181 Hi, I'm- 155 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:38,603 - I know. - Not entirely sure 156 00:07:38,603 --> 00:07:39,436 what the protocol is here. 157 00:07:39,436 --> 00:07:40,271 - I know. - We can't handshake, 158 00:07:40,271 --> 00:07:42,290 we can't hug, so what are we gonna do? 159 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,900 - Why don't we just start with the elbow 160 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,119 and then see where we go from there,. 161 00:07:46,119 --> 00:07:49,180 - Coming in with the elbow, boom. 162 00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,949 - What is that? 163 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:51,782 What are you doing? 164 00:07:51,782 --> 00:07:52,615 - Not entirely sure. 165 00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:54,980 Occasionally I'm an idiot. 166 00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:56,002 Wanna have a seat? 167 00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:59,835 - Yes. - Yes, safer,. 168 00:08:05,248 --> 00:08:06,081 Would you like a drink? 169 00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:08,192 - Oh, I already ordered two on the way in. 170 00:08:08,192 --> 00:08:09,319 Thank you, what are you drinking? 171 00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:12,221 - Nothing special, just a brewski. 172 00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:13,443 - Did you just say brewski? 173 00:08:13,443 --> 00:08:15,261 Yes I did,. 174 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,232 But if it makes you feel any better, 175 00:08:17,232 --> 00:08:19,283 I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. 176 00:08:21,573 --> 00:08:24,661 - Are you okay Aaron, 'cause you seem a little nervous? 177 00:08:24,661 --> 00:08:26,281 - Yeah, no, do I? 178 00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:31,281 Sorry, it's just that I don't go on a lot on blind dates. 179 00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:35,461 Actually, this is most definitely my real first. 180 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:37,613 - For Real? 181 00:08:37,613 --> 00:08:40,072 - For realsies, so if I seem a little bit nervous 182 00:08:40,072 --> 00:08:42,739 it's only 'cause you know, I am. 183 00:08:44,013 --> 00:08:46,352 - Well, don't be because the more nervous you get 184 00:08:46,352 --> 00:08:50,081 the more I wanna make a mad dash for that door. 185 00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:51,123 - Here we go! 186 00:08:51,123 --> 00:08:52,061 - Jesus Christ! 187 00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:54,181 - One beer for the gentleman. 188 00:08:54,181 --> 00:08:55,014 - Thank you. 189 00:08:55,014 --> 00:08:57,432 - And one shot for the lady. 190 00:08:57,432 --> 00:08:59,071 - Thank you. 191 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,821 - And one cocktails for the lady. 192 00:09:03,032 --> 00:09:06,199 Thank you. 193 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,791 - So what was that all that about? 194 00:09:15,791 --> 00:09:18,121 - It's called taking the edge off. 195 00:09:18,121 --> 00:09:21,551 You should try it, BDV, might loosen you up. 196 00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:22,779 - BDV? 197 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,446 - Blind Date Virgin. 198 00:09:25,409 --> 00:09:28,831 That's my new nickname for you, you mind it? 199 00:09:28,831 --> 00:09:31,951 - No, well, I prefer something like A-train 200 00:09:31,951 --> 00:09:33,380 or Wolverine but- 201 00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:36,631 - Good, now BDV, can I ask you a question? 202 00:09:36,631 --> 00:09:38,780 - Yeah, sure, ask me anything I'm an open book. 203 00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,649 - If you've never been on one of these before 204 00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:42,149 why go on one now? 205 00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:46,180 - Well, Kevin, your sister Lauren's husband- 206 00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:48,260 - Aka my brother-in-law? 207 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,093 - Right, him. 208 00:09:49,093 --> 00:09:52,343 Well, he said that you were really cute 209 00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:59,178 and that I would be an absolute moron to pass this up. 210 00:09:59,178 --> 00:10:03,011 So I decided to take a risk and listen to him. 211 00:10:03,885 --> 00:10:05,281 How about you? 212 00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:06,601 - Lauren said you look like Brad Pitt. 213 00:10:12,292 --> 00:10:14,898 So do you agree with Kevin? 214 00:10:14,898 --> 00:10:16,612 - About what? 215 00:10:16,612 --> 00:10:18,195 - Am I really cute? 216 00:10:20,892 --> 00:10:22,481 - You can't just ask me that. 217 00:10:22,481 --> 00:10:23,458 - Why not? 218 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,748 You said you're an open book. 219 00:10:25,748 --> 00:10:26,581 So am I? 220 00:10:29,018 --> 00:10:32,060 ♪ She's a little artsy ♪ 221 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:35,249 ♪ She's hip and cool ♪ 222 00:10:35,249 --> 00:10:37,859 ♪ She's just like all those girls ♪ 223 00:10:37,859 --> 00:10:41,039 ♪ That ignored me all through school ♪ 224 00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:44,099 ♪ Shes kinda indie ♪ 225 00:10:44,099 --> 00:10:46,391 ♪ And pretty hot ♪ 226 00:10:46,391 --> 00:10:51,391 ♪ She's a lot like all the things that I am not ♪ 227 00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:56,940 ♪ There's some Asian symbol ♪ 228 00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:00,031 ♪ Tattooed on her wrist ♪ 229 00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,989 ♪ She's got the kind of look that says ♪ 230 00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:05,729 ♪ Hello world I'm pissed ♪ 231 00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:08,919 ♪ She's sort of hostile ♪ 232 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:11,468 ♪ Her guns are drawn ♪ 233 00:11:11,468 --> 00:11:16,468 ♪ Is it weird or just screwed up that I'm turned on ♪ 234 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:22,087 ♪ But that's just a first impression ♪ 235 00:11:22,087 --> 00:11:24,359 ♪ I could be totally wrong ♪ 236 00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:28,447 ♪ It's only a first impression ♪ 237 00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:30,146 ♪ 'Cause maybe she's ♪ 238 00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:32,959 ♪ A stuffy and conservative way uptight girl ♪ 239 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:33,918 ♪ Who's still a virgin ♪ 240 00:11:33,918 --> 00:11:35,537 ♪ Never goes past second base ♪ 241 00:11:35,537 --> 00:11:37,257 ♪ Suppressing every single urge ♪ 242 00:11:37,257 --> 00:11:39,057 ♪ Until she marches down the aisle ♪ 243 00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:40,708 ♪ And finally ties the knot ♪ 244 00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,457 ♪ She could want a giant family ♪ 245 00:11:42,457 --> 00:11:44,375 ♪ And be an Opera devotee ♪ 246 00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,649 ♪ Hell, even have a PhD ♪ 247 00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:49,689 ♪ Yes, that's who she could be ♪ 248 00:11:50,522 --> 00:11:51,737 I'm waiting. 249 00:11:51,737 --> 00:11:54,737 - Yes you are very pleasant looking. 250 00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:59,049 - Ooh, pleasant looking. 251 00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,919 - All right, okay, fine, no, attractive, desirable, 252 00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:03,780 stunningly beautiful. 253 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:08,780 Wait, how about d, all of the above. 254 00:12:09,239 --> 00:12:10,271 So how about me? 255 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:14,639 What adjectives would you use to describe me? 256 00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:17,839 ♪ He's a bit annoying ♪ 257 00:12:17,839 --> 00:12:21,271 ♪ And overdressed ♪ 258 00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:23,329 ♪ He's got the kind of vibe ♪ 259 00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:26,900 ♪ That says look at me I'm stressed ♪ 260 00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:29,240 - Really there's just so many adjectives to choose from 261 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,060 I wouldn't even know where to start. 262 00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,233 ♪ Probably likes to cuddle ♪ 263 00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,833 ♪ Long walks in the park ♪ 264 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,713 ♪ And if he likes sex ♪ 265 00:12:38,713 --> 00:12:43,121 ♪ Bet it's only in the dark ♪ 266 00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:47,692 ♪ But that's just a first impression ♪ 267 00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:50,072 ♪ I could be totally wrong ♪ 268 00:12:50,072 --> 00:12:54,343 ♪ It's only a first impression ♪ 269 00:12:54,343 --> 00:12:56,772 ♪ And maybe he's a nasty ♪ 270 00:12:56,772 --> 00:12:59,601 ♪ Uninhibited ferocious tiger in the sack ♪ 271 00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:01,073 ♪ Who rides a Harley hits the gym ♪ 272 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,052 ♪ And makes his money dealing crack ♪ 273 00:13:03,052 --> 00:13:04,860 ♪ To wealthy kids in private schools ♪ 274 00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,380 ♪ Who treat him like a god ♪ 275 00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:08,420 ♪ He could kick some ass just like Bruce Lee ♪ 276 00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,140 ♪ Engage in online piracy ♪ 277 00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:12,631 ♪ And not take any shit from me ♪ 278 00:13:12,631 --> 00:13:14,721 ♪ Yes, that's who he could ♪ 279 00:13:14,721 --> 00:13:16,240 ♪ That's who she could ♪ 280 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,511 ♪ That's who she could be ♪ 281 00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:22,900 ♪ But that's just a first impression ♪ 282 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,211 ♪ I could be totally wrong ♪ 283 00:13:25,211 --> 00:13:29,340 ♪ It's only a first impression ♪ 284 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,801 ♪ And though the impression is strong ♪ 285 00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:35,820 ♪ It never can hurt to question ♪ 286 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:38,991 ♪ Though I doubt this will lead to romance ♪ 287 00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:40,700 ♪ Sometimes the ones who seem great ♪ 288 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,578 ♪ Are a nightmare to date ♪ 289 00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:44,020 ♪ Either way I've been burned ♪ 290 00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,919 ♪ But the one thing I've learned ♪ 291 00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:51,871 ♪ Is often times first impressions ♪ 292 00:13:51,871 --> 00:13:53,527 ♪ Are worth a second glance ♪ 293 00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:55,946 ♪ It's worth a second glance ♪ 294 00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,997 ♪ A second glance ♪ 295 00:13:57,997 --> 00:13:59,977 ♪ It's worth a second glance ♪ 296 00:13:59,977 --> 00:14:00,898 ♪ A second glance ♪ 297 00:14:00,898 --> 00:14:02,946 ♪ It's worth a second glance ♪ 298 00:14:02,946 --> 00:14:06,957 ♪ It's worth a second glance ♪ 299 00:14:06,957 --> 00:14:09,117 - So now what do we do? 300 00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:09,950 - What do you mean? 301 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:10,886 - Well, I was just thinking 302 00:14:10,886 --> 00:14:13,586 that seeing as I've never been on one of these before 303 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,157 and you're kinda the resident expert. 304 00:14:15,157 --> 00:14:17,368 I was just hoping that maybe you could instruct me 305 00:14:17,368 --> 00:14:19,578 on what we're supposed to do next here. 306 00:14:19,578 --> 00:14:22,245 - Who told you I was the expert? 307 00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:27,727 - Kevin said something just before he was leaving the office 308 00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:30,354 but if he is wrong, then he could be wrong. 309 00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:31,187 He's wrong. - No, no he's not wrong- 310 00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,666 - I'm sorry. 311 00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:34,338 - I mean, he's incredibly wrong to tell you 312 00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:35,866 that information right before you met me 313 00:14:35,866 --> 00:14:39,738 but technically speaking, he's not wrong. 314 00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:43,711 Fine, hi, my name is Casey and I'm a serial dater. 315 00:14:43,711 --> 00:14:45,514 - Then I have the perfect nickname for you. 316 00:14:45,514 --> 00:14:47,181 - Oh really, what's that? - Yeah, BDS. 317 00:14:47,181 --> 00:14:49,546 - BDS? - Yes, Blind Date Slut. 318 00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:51,296 No, no, I'm so sorry. 319 00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:58,843 I was too soon, that is not I want to die. 320 00:15:00,218 --> 00:15:01,578 I'm really not good at this whole casual banter thing. 321 00:15:01,578 --> 00:15:04,995 Okay, so Casey, do you enjoy blind dates? 322 00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:07,869 - Oh God, no. 323 00:15:07,869 --> 00:15:09,876 I hate them with an undying passion. 324 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,906 I put them right up there with pap smears 325 00:15:11,906 --> 00:15:14,026 and M.Night Shyamalan movies. 326 00:15:14,026 --> 00:15:16,338 - Well then why do you go on so many? 327 00:15:16,338 --> 00:15:18,698 - 'Cause I think it's important to put yourself out there 328 00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:20,424 and keep your options open. 329 00:15:20,424 --> 00:15:23,418 And I keep hoping that each time 330 00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:26,306 my next leap will be the leap home. 331 00:15:26,306 --> 00:15:28,106 - You know Quantum Leap? 332 00:15:28,106 --> 00:15:29,586 Holy shit, I love Quantum Leap. 333 00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:32,807 Oh boy, 334 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,306 we're definitely coming back to that one. 335 00:15:34,306 --> 00:15:37,639 So have you been on any really bad ones? 336 00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:41,457 - First dates? - Yeah. 337 00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:44,196 - Oh no, no, sweetie, we're not doing that. 338 00:15:44,196 --> 00:15:45,626 Oh, you really do need my help. 339 00:15:45,626 --> 00:15:47,975 No, no, no, that's like dating rule number one. 340 00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:50,196 It's way too early in the evening 341 00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:52,226 for me to be discussing other men with you. 342 00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,036 - Right, see, I did not know that. 343 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:57,738 Okay, so what should we be talking about? 344 00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,156 - Well, seeing as we barely know each other 345 00:16:00,156 --> 00:16:02,896 I would say this would be the small talk, 346 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,098 getting to know you portion of the night. 347 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,378 - Okay, okay, okay, okay I can do that. 348 00:16:07,378 --> 00:16:10,116 I got you, I got you, you know just nothing too serious. 349 00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:11,436 Just keeping it light and breezy. 350 00:16:11,436 --> 00:16:13,476 Just like, "Okay, I can do this." 351 00:16:13,476 --> 00:16:15,309 So where are you from? 352 00:16:17,346 --> 00:16:18,179 Michigan. 353 00:16:18,179 --> 00:16:20,668 - Michigan, oh, sorry, you wanna get that? 354 00:16:20,668 --> 00:16:22,599 - No, no, no, it's fine. 355 00:16:22,599 --> 00:16:23,432 - Are you sure? 356 00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:24,647 I don't mind if you- - No, it's no problem. 357 00:16:24,647 --> 00:16:26,999 What were you saying? 358 00:16:26,999 --> 00:16:28,799 - Michigan. - Michigan? 359 00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,465 - Yes. - Hey, it's Casey. 360 00:16:30,465 --> 00:16:33,067 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 361 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:35,988 ♪ This is your bailout sweetie, your bailout ♪ 362 00:16:35,988 --> 00:16:38,428 ♪ Honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪ 363 00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,708 ♪ You could tell him your dad's in the hospital ♪ 364 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,927 ♪ Your building's on fire ♪ 365 00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:44,816 ♪ That's all you need to say ♪ 366 00:16:44,816 --> 00:16:49,816 ♪ And you're free and on your way ♪ 367 00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:51,975 ♪ It's your bestie calling ♪ 368 00:16:51,975 --> 00:16:53,628 ♪ It's Reggie to the rescue here ♪ 369 00:16:53,628 --> 00:16:56,178 ♪ To save you from another catastrophic blind date ♪ 370 00:16:56,178 --> 00:16:57,719 ♪ I've done it time and again ♪ 371 00:16:57,719 --> 00:16:58,948 ♪ Saved you from horrendous men ♪ 372 00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:02,016 ♪ All those losers who should never be allowed to procreate ♪ 373 00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:03,688 ♪ Like that dentist with the foul breath ♪ 374 00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:04,738 ♪ That made you wanna yak ♪ 375 00:17:04,738 --> 00:17:07,717 ♪ Or that hippie with the hair growing only on his back ♪ 376 00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:09,159 ♪ Or that guy obsessed with Disney ♪ 377 00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:10,558 ♪ Second thought, I'll cut him slack ♪ 378 00:17:10,558 --> 00:17:13,268 ♪ Though his love of princesses was rather suspect ♪ 379 00:17:13,268 --> 00:17:15,036 ♪ But I'm digressing I'm obsessing ♪ 380 00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:16,148 ♪ You did not pick up your cell ♪ 381 00:17:16,148 --> 00:17:17,778 ♪ Which means you either didn't hear it ring ♪ 382 00:17:17,778 --> 00:17:19,209 ♪ Or things are going well ♪ 383 00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:22,186 ♪ So tweet or text or Snapchat tell me if you like this guy ♪ 384 00:17:22,186 --> 00:17:25,978 ♪ Okay that's it I love you lots need you forever bye ♪ 385 00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,879 ♪ This is your bailout sweetie your bailout ♪ 386 00:17:28,879 --> 00:17:31,250 ♪ Honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪ 387 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,026 ♪ You could tell him your grandma broke her hip ♪ 388 00:17:34,026 --> 00:17:34,978 ♪ Or your dog ate some chocolate ♪ 389 00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:37,807 ♪ That's all you need to say ♪ 390 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,828 ♪ And you're free and on your way ♪ 391 00:17:39,828 --> 00:17:41,286 ♪ Later, bitch ♪ 392 00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:44,106 - So where did you grow up in Michigan? 393 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,254 - Just in this little town 394 00:17:46,254 --> 00:17:48,096 where everybody knows everybody's business. 395 00:17:48,096 --> 00:17:53,096 Hence why I moved New York as fast as humanly possible. 396 00:17:53,117 --> 00:17:54,029 West Bloomfield. 397 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,248 - Oh, you grew up in West Bloomfield? 398 00:17:56,248 --> 00:17:57,488 Holy shit! 399 00:17:57,488 --> 00:18:01,879 Hey, do you know anybody that went to Camp Riverlake? 400 00:18:01,879 --> 00:18:03,390 - Yes, why, did you go there? 401 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,390 Yes, only for like six summers. 402 00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:07,219 - My neighbor, Jessica Sheinwald went there. 403 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,590 - Jessica Sheinwald, I think I remember her. 404 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,600 - Oh, she only went for one year. 405 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:17,310 She fell in love with this total prick called Gabe 406 00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:20,680 and they had this like insanely intense six week 407 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,429 like summer romance 408 00:18:22,429 --> 00:18:24,220 and then on the last day of camp 409 00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:28,553 she found out that he'd been seeing four other girls 410 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,971 and the wilderness instructor all summer. 411 00:18:31,971 --> 00:18:33,110 Can you believe that shit? 412 00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:35,693 - No, was it a Gabe Rubenstone? 413 00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:41,120 - Yeah, how did you know? 414 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,830 - He's been my best friend since I was four. 415 00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:48,400 - Oh, things were just starting to look up for us too. 416 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,422 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 417 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,843 He was a prick. 418 00:18:51,843 --> 00:18:52,763 He still is, he still is. 419 00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:54,774 He's just a colossal prick, okay? 420 00:18:54,774 --> 00:18:57,302 So we're just gonna forget about him. 421 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,719 Move along now. 422 00:19:01,752 --> 00:19:03,862 So where did you go to school? 423 00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,582 - Village Day. - Right, oh, okay. 424 00:19:05,582 --> 00:19:07,862 Well, I think a bunch of Riverlake people went there. 425 00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:10,483 Do you know Josh Baumgarten? 426 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,283 - He sat next to me in our class. 427 00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:14,672 - All right, Rachel Hirsch? 428 00:19:14,672 --> 00:19:17,432 - I kicked her ass all over the lacrosse field. 429 00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:20,591 - Okay, how about Nathan Davidson? 430 00:19:20,591 --> 00:19:24,232 - Oh my God, Nathan, wanna see a magic trick Davidson? 431 00:19:24,232 --> 00:19:25,582 - Yes. - You knew that freak? 432 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:28,803 - Yes, of no worse, he was my roommate for three summers. 433 00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,912 Did you have any idea how many times 434 00:19:30,912 --> 00:19:33,563 he asked me to pick a card? 435 00:19:35,832 --> 00:19:37,064 - Where's did you go to college? 436 00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:39,232 - Penn, you? - B.U 437 00:19:39,232 --> 00:19:41,603 - B.U, so you wanna keep playing Jewish geography 438 00:19:41,603 --> 00:19:44,152 'cause I can give you like 10 more names. 439 00:19:44,152 --> 00:19:46,392 - Oh, we can I'm really good at it. 440 00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:48,225 Even if I'm not a Jew. 441 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:53,334 ♪ Oy vey ♪ 442 00:19:53,334 --> 00:19:55,417 ♪ Oy vey ♪ 443 00:19:57,824 --> 00:19:59,443 - Sorry, what did you say? 444 00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:00,860 - I am not a Jew. 445 00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:05,540 ♪ Oy vey ♪ 446 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:09,670 ♪ Oy vey ♪ 447 00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:14,670 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 448 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:22,083 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 449 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:28,422 ♪ Dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai ♪ 450 00:20:31,512 --> 00:20:35,345 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 451 00:20:40,288 --> 00:20:42,728 Aaron, bubalah! 452 00:20:42,728 --> 00:20:44,299 - Grandma Ida, is that you? 453 00:20:44,299 --> 00:20:46,230 That's right. 454 00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,063 - What are you doing here? 455 00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:48,063 You're dead. 456 00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:52,240 ♪ I was busy praying at my temple in the sky ♪ 457 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,920 ♪ When I got an urgent message ♪ 458 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,947 ♪ That came straight from Adonai ♪ 459 00:20:55,947 --> 00:20:57,840 ♪ He said Ida it's your grandson ♪ 460 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,808 ♪ He is acting out of line ♪ 461 00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:01,419 ♪ 'Cause he's dating Casey Clark ♪ 462 00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,430 ♪ Instead of dating Sarah Stein ♪ 463 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,475 ♪ I begged Yahweh send me to him ♪ 464 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:07,028 ♪ I have wisdom to impart ♪ 465 00:21:07,028 --> 00:21:08,898 ♪ Plus my grandson Aaron loves me ♪ 466 00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:10,680 ♪ And he'd never break my heart ♪ 467 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,910 ♪ I can make the Pischer understand ♪ 468 00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:14,659 ♪ The error of his ways ♪ 469 00:21:14,659 --> 00:21:16,350 ♪ Even I once banged a Buddhist ♪ 470 00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:18,411 ♪ It was just a passing phase ♪ 471 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,178 ♪ Eh the Buddhist was a phase ♪ 472 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,819 ♪ So listen to me, Boy chik ♪ 473 00:21:21,819 --> 00:21:23,859 ♪ You're a mensch who's been endowed ♪ 474 00:21:23,859 --> 00:21:25,619 ♪ With brains and looks and talent ♪ 475 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,558 ♪ I could plots, I'm just so proud ♪ 476 00:21:27,558 --> 00:21:28,939 ♪ But though I cut you slack ♪ 477 00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:31,198 ♪ When you did not return my calls ♪ 478 00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:32,987 ♪ If you wed this little Tsatskelah ♪ 479 00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:34,958 ♪ I'll break your matzah balls ♪ 480 00:21:34,958 --> 00:21:38,707 ♪ This isn't the girl for you oy oy oy ♪ 481 00:21:38,707 --> 00:21:42,558 ♪ This isn't the girl for you goy goy goy ♪ 482 00:21:42,558 --> 00:21:44,238 ♪ She considers Jesus boss ♪ 483 00:21:44,238 --> 00:21:46,158 ♪ And thinks you nailed him to the cross ♪ 484 00:21:46,158 --> 00:21:51,158 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 485 00:21:52,168 --> 00:21:53,019 ♪ Not for you ♪ 486 00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:55,042 ♪ Not for you ♪ 487 00:21:55,042 --> 00:21:55,875 ♪ Not for you ♪ 488 00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:59,746 ♪ Hey she's not for you ♪ 489 00:21:59,746 --> 00:22:01,316 Aaron? 490 00:22:01,316 --> 00:22:02,647 - Who are you? 491 00:22:02,647 --> 00:22:04,948 - I'm Casey's father. 492 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:08,667 Her very disapproving, very Christian father. 493 00:22:08,667 --> 00:22:12,799 - I'm sorry, do you mean her father or her Father? 494 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,227 - Both. 495 00:22:14,227 --> 00:22:19,227 ♪ And now you are ruining my daughter's life ♪ 496 00:22:19,564 --> 00:22:23,479 ♪ Never thought my baby be a Hebrew's wife ♪ 497 00:22:23,479 --> 00:22:26,879 ♪ Why would people called the chosen ones ♪ 498 00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:30,548 ♪ Choose to wear strange hats and circumcise their sons ♪ 499 00:22:30,548 --> 00:22:32,759 ♪ Circumcise their sons ♪ 500 00:22:32,759 --> 00:22:36,068 ♪ You don't know the Holy Trinity ♪ 501 00:22:36,068 --> 00:22:40,017 ♪ Or the joy felt when you trim a Christmas tree ♪ 502 00:22:40,017 --> 00:22:43,537 ♪ And since you cannot sing the first Noel ♪ 503 00:22:43,537 --> 00:22:47,428 ♪ Jesus Christ won't save you from the gates of hell ♪ 504 00:22:47,428 --> 00:22:49,439 ♪ You'll go straight to hell ♪ 505 00:22:49,439 --> 00:22:51,148 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 506 00:22:51,148 --> 00:22:54,799 ♪ Every Angel sings for the Easter Bunny ♪ 507 00:22:54,799 --> 00:22:56,847 ♪ And the eggs he brings ♪ 508 00:22:56,847 --> 00:22:58,337 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 509 00:22:58,337 --> 00:23:00,268 ♪ Christians pass the test ♪ 510 00:23:00,268 --> 00:23:04,117 ♪ We are not Semitic therefore we are blessed ♪ 511 00:23:04,117 --> 00:23:06,359 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 512 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:07,788 ♪ Ahhh ♪ 513 00:23:07,788 --> 00:23:10,079 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 514 00:23:10,079 --> 00:23:11,587 ♪ Ahhh ♪ 515 00:23:11,587 --> 00:23:13,420 ♪ How can I stay cool and calm ♪ 516 00:23:13,420 --> 00:23:15,798 ♪ When you don't praise the virgin mom ♪ 517 00:23:15,798 --> 00:23:19,631 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 518 00:23:20,638 --> 00:23:22,437 - Oh my God. 519 00:23:22,437 --> 00:23:24,694 - Yo dad, what's up? 520 00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:25,628 - Dad! - What? 521 00:23:25,628 --> 00:23:26,588 You don't recognize me? 522 00:23:26,588 --> 00:23:28,137 I'm yours and Casey's future son 523 00:23:28,137 --> 00:23:29,976 and I'm like beyond messed up. 524 00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:31,559 So thanks for that. 525 00:23:32,439 --> 00:23:33,967 ♪ You got me so confused ♪ 526 00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:35,567 ♪ I don't know which way to choose ♪ 527 00:23:35,567 --> 00:23:38,807 ♪ Do I celebrate Christmas or Chanukah either way I lose ♪ 528 00:23:38,807 --> 00:23:40,365 ♪ 'Cause I don't know what to believe in ♪ 529 00:23:40,365 --> 00:23:41,967 ♪ With the mixed signals I'm receiving ♪ 530 00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:43,287 ♪ No I don't fit into a box ♪ 531 00:23:43,287 --> 00:23:45,237 ♪ I'm strung out with doubt and I can't detox ♪ 532 00:23:45,237 --> 00:23:46,647 ♪ Should I live life for the moment ♪ 533 00:23:46,647 --> 00:23:48,326 ♪ Or should I kneel and repent ♪ 534 00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:51,215 ♪ Do I believe the Messiah's coming or came and went ♪ 535 00:23:51,215 --> 00:23:53,239 ♪ I'm stuck and it's fucking depressing ♪ 536 00:23:53,239 --> 00:23:54,777 ♪ From all this perpetual guessing ♪ 537 00:23:54,777 --> 00:23:58,028 ♪ Don't mean to be preachy but like Nietzsche the nihilist ♪ 538 00:23:58,028 --> 00:23:59,616 ♪ I'm thinking that God don't exist ♪ 539 00:23:59,616 --> 00:24:01,157 ♪ Do I cry at Schindler's list ♪ 540 00:24:01,157 --> 00:24:02,143 ♪ Or weep at the passion of the Christ ♪ 541 00:24:02,143 --> 00:24:02,976 - Well- 542 00:24:02,976 --> 00:24:04,434 ♪ Should I shop retail when there's no sale ♪ 543 00:24:04,434 --> 00:24:05,811 ♪ Or kvetch that it's all overpriced ♪ 544 00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:07,452 ♪ I'm gonna haunt you like a poltergeist ♪ 545 00:24:07,452 --> 00:24:09,074 ♪ My whole identity you've sacrificed ♪ 546 00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,503 ♪ Why didn't you use a condom ♪ 547 00:24:10,503 --> 00:24:11,812 No, come on. 548 00:24:29,412 --> 00:24:31,730 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 549 00:24:31,730 --> 00:24:32,940 ♪ Not, not for you ♪ 550 00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:35,290 ♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪ 551 00:24:35,290 --> 00:24:36,442 ♪ So true, so true ♪ 552 00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:38,052 ♪ 6000 years of history ♪ 553 00:24:38,052 --> 00:24:39,804 ♪ Are resting on your head ♪ 554 00:24:39,804 --> 00:24:41,604 ♪ If you married her you'd kill me ♪ 555 00:24:41,604 --> 00:24:43,393 ♪ Were I not already dead ♪ 556 00:24:43,393 --> 00:24:44,971 ♪ I won't have my grandkids raised ♪ 557 00:24:44,971 --> 00:24:47,564 ♪ On bagels, lox and cream cheese spread ♪ 558 00:24:47,564 --> 00:24:48,604 ♪ Now let's review ♪ 559 00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:49,492 ♪ She's not a Jew ♪ 560 00:24:49,492 --> 00:24:54,492 ♪ So this isn't the girl for you ♪ 561 00:24:55,692 --> 00:24:56,753 ♪ A Shayna Maydl ♪ 562 00:24:56,753 --> 00:24:58,473 ♪ But she doesn't spin the dreidel ♪ 563 00:24:58,473 --> 00:25:02,640 ♪ This isn't the girl for you hey ♪ 564 00:25:03,884 --> 00:25:07,284 - So you're really not Jewish, uh? 565 00:25:07,284 --> 00:25:08,117 - Nope! - Half Jewish? 566 00:25:08,117 --> 00:25:09,233 - Uh- uh. - Quarter Jew? 567 00:25:09,233 --> 00:25:10,066 - Not even a little. 568 00:25:10,066 --> 00:25:11,832 - Okay, so wait, wait, what about relatives? 569 00:25:11,832 --> 00:25:13,442 You got like a cousin or a sister, 570 00:25:13,442 --> 00:25:15,502 or somebody that got a rebellious 571 00:25:15,502 --> 00:25:16,833 and married an Ashkenazi? 572 00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:19,204 - Very doubtful, is this a problem for you, Aaron? 573 00:25:19,204 --> 00:25:22,809 - No, no, no, not for me necessarily. 574 00:25:22,809 --> 00:25:25,281 For some others in my family maybe. 575 00:25:25,281 --> 00:25:29,222 Your family or future children that we may or may not have. 576 00:25:29,222 --> 00:25:30,342 - Well, if it makes you feel any better, 577 00:25:30,342 --> 00:25:32,542 I've never been a big church goer anyway. 578 00:25:32,542 --> 00:25:34,345 - Right, you haven't? 579 00:25:34,345 --> 00:25:36,913 That means you don't have like countless crosses 580 00:25:36,913 --> 00:25:38,254 and Rosemary beads and pictures 581 00:25:38,254 --> 00:25:40,053 of political angels hanging right above your bed 582 00:25:40,053 --> 00:25:41,083 'cause I'm gonna be honest with you, 583 00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,349 that would be kinda a bit deal breaker for me. 584 00:25:42,349 --> 00:25:43,919 - No, my parents have never been 585 00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:45,159 into any of that kind of stuff. 586 00:25:45,159 --> 00:25:46,538 So from a very early age 587 00:25:46,538 --> 00:25:48,399 I was always much more of an atheist. 588 00:25:48,399 --> 00:25:49,232 - Oh really? 589 00:25:49,232 --> 00:25:51,069 So, I mean you don't believe in God at all? 590 00:25:51,069 --> 00:25:53,599 - Is this your way of keeping things light and breezy? 591 00:25:53,599 --> 00:25:54,682 - Right, yes. 592 00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:56,888 Sorry, yes, no. 593 00:26:01,050 --> 00:26:01,968 What's your favorite color? 594 00:26:01,968 --> 00:26:05,128 - No, no, you're new to this, so I'll allow. 595 00:26:05,128 --> 00:26:06,180 - Thank you very much. 596 00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:08,130 - To answer your question, 597 00:26:08,130 --> 00:26:10,101 I do believe in a higher power 598 00:26:10,101 --> 00:26:12,759 but I also think that organized religions 599 00:26:12,759 --> 00:26:14,650 have become so overlaid 600 00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:17,780 with extraneous matter that I don't know, 601 00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:20,208 their spiritual substances has become completely obscure. 602 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:22,239 Do you know what I mean? 603 00:26:22,239 --> 00:26:23,730 Okay, check this out. 604 00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:25,950 I've been reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle. 605 00:26:25,950 --> 00:26:26,783 Ever heard of him? 606 00:26:26,783 --> 00:26:27,616 - No- - It doesn't matter. 607 00:26:27,616 --> 00:26:30,821 He's a big believer in the power of now. 608 00:26:30,821 --> 00:26:35,050 And so since I have a bad tendency of getting in my head, 609 00:26:35,050 --> 00:26:36,941 I've been trying to separate the process 610 00:26:36,941 --> 00:26:40,830 of thinking and an awareness in an effort to transcend 611 00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:43,194 my ego based station state of consciousness. 612 00:26:43,194 --> 00:26:44,519 - Right, yeah obviously. 613 00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:47,352 That is very, very obvious. - Yeah. 614 00:26:49,021 --> 00:26:50,439 - So how's that going? 615 00:26:50,439 --> 00:26:51,319 - Not so well. 616 00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:54,359 I have a hard time silencing my inner critic. 617 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,061 Oh my God, tell me about it. 618 00:26:57,061 --> 00:26:57,894 - Really? - Yes. 619 00:26:57,894 --> 00:26:58,727 - You do too? 620 00:26:58,727 --> 00:27:00,781 - Yes, my inner critic will not shut up right now. 621 00:27:00,781 --> 00:27:02,370 - Okay, what's he saying? 622 00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:03,621 - It's saying to get out of this thing 623 00:27:03,621 --> 00:27:07,261 as quickly as possible. 624 00:27:07,261 --> 00:27:08,199 - Are you're making fun of me? 625 00:27:08,199 --> 00:27:09,032 - No. 626 00:27:10,069 --> 00:27:11,140 - 'Cause- - No I'm sorry. 627 00:27:11,140 --> 00:27:12,490 - You brought this up, I didn't want to talk about. 628 00:27:12,490 --> 00:27:13,581 - I was joking, it was a bad joke. 629 00:27:13,581 --> 00:27:14,639 - You know what? - I'm sorry. 630 00:27:14,639 --> 00:27:16,078 - It's a shame that you're so closed minded 631 00:27:16,078 --> 00:27:19,269 because actually I think this stuff would help you. 632 00:27:19,269 --> 00:27:22,410 I think the meditation and self awareness 633 00:27:22,410 --> 00:27:23,981 could be helpful for you. 634 00:27:23,981 --> 00:27:25,029 It could be helpful for everybody. 635 00:27:25,029 --> 00:27:26,839 - Yeah, no, you're right, you're right. 636 00:27:26,839 --> 00:27:28,756 It could do that for me 637 00:27:30,694 --> 00:27:33,861 and all the people all over the world. 638 00:27:44,261 --> 00:27:49,261 ♪ It was all going okay ♪ 639 00:27:49,311 --> 00:27:54,311 ♪ But now you don't know what to say ♪ 640 00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:59,991 ♪ 'Cause you thought that you were being clever ♪ 641 00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:05,221 ♪ But you came off just as dumb as ever ♪ 642 00:28:07,181 --> 00:28:12,181 ♪ You should just run for the door ♪ 643 00:28:12,493 --> 00:28:16,511 ♪ You've played out this scene before ♪ 644 00:28:16,511 --> 00:28:21,511 ♪ And you're stuck in a slew of hems and haws ♪ 645 00:28:24,341 --> 00:28:27,511 ♪ It's so awkward ♪ 646 00:28:27,511 --> 00:28:30,594 ♪ This awkward pause ♪ 647 00:28:39,061 --> 00:28:44,061 ♪ Would gladly eat a plate of glass ♪ 648 00:28:44,253 --> 00:28:49,241 ♪ If it would make this moment pass ♪ 649 00:28:49,241 --> 00:28:54,241 ♪ Would rather skydive with no parachute ♪ 650 00:28:54,351 --> 00:28:59,351 ♪ Get caught soliciting a prostitute ♪ 651 00:29:00,590 --> 00:29:03,653 ♪ Better to bump into an ex ♪ 652 00:29:03,653 --> 00:29:06,282 ♪ Or crash your car into a tree ♪ 653 00:29:06,282 --> 00:29:08,621 ♪ See your parents having sex ♪ 654 00:29:08,621 --> 00:29:11,759 ♪ Or catch a mild S.T.D. ♪ 655 00:29:11,759 --> 00:29:16,429 ♪ Things that normally are paralyzing ♪ 656 00:29:16,429 --> 00:29:17,482 ♪ Compared to this ♪ 657 00:29:17,482 --> 00:29:21,658 ♪ They all seem appetizing ♪ 658 00:29:21,658 --> 00:29:26,658 ♪ 'Cause you're stuck in the agonizing claws ♪ 659 00:29:27,791 --> 00:29:29,322 ♪ Whoa ♪ 660 00:29:29,322 --> 00:29:32,261 ♪ Of the awkward ♪ 661 00:29:32,261 --> 00:29:37,261 ♪ The awkward ♪ 662 00:29:41,711 --> 00:29:43,711 ♪ Pause ♪ 663 00:30:05,562 --> 00:30:07,145 Look, can I just... 664 00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:10,679 I just wanted to say that- - Maybe we- 665 00:30:10,679 --> 00:30:12,271 - I'm sorry,. 666 00:30:12,271 --> 00:30:14,261 Look, I wanna- - Oh, dear God, you go first. 667 00:30:14,261 --> 00:30:17,011 - Okay, look, I'm so sorry, okay? 668 00:30:20,390 --> 00:30:23,130 I just misunderstood what you were saying and I messed up. 669 00:30:23,130 --> 00:30:24,050 - I'm sorry. 670 00:30:24,050 --> 00:30:25,639 I'm sorry for getting so standoffish. 671 00:30:25,639 --> 00:30:28,530 It's just, I actually think it's a really good thing 672 00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:29,363 getting to know yourself, 673 00:30:29,363 --> 00:30:30,879 but every time I talk about it, 674 00:30:30,879 --> 00:30:33,159 people look at me like I'm some sort of mental patient. 675 00:30:33,159 --> 00:30:33,997 - Yes, you're right. 676 00:30:33,997 --> 00:30:36,525 Which is exactly why I will not look at you 677 00:30:36,525 --> 00:30:37,367 like that anymore. 678 00:30:37,367 --> 00:30:39,668 No more crazy looks from me, okay? 679 00:30:39,668 --> 00:30:40,501 - Glad to hear it. 680 00:30:40,501 --> 00:30:43,168 Yes. 681 00:30:44,107 --> 00:30:44,940 Oh my God. 682 00:30:46,007 --> 00:30:47,999 Did we just totally have our first fight? 683 00:30:47,999 --> 00:30:49,666 - OMG, we kinda did. 684 00:30:50,629 --> 00:30:53,057 - Oh, girl, we totes did and we came out of it 685 00:30:53,057 --> 00:30:54,629 without any cuts or bruises. 686 00:30:54,629 --> 00:30:56,207 - Barely any internal bleeding. 687 00:30:56,207 --> 00:30:57,307 - Okurrrr. 688 00:30:58,669 --> 00:31:03,158 Well, maybe there's a small smidgeon of hope for us yet. 689 00:31:03,158 --> 00:31:04,325 - Yeah, maybe. 690 00:31:05,706 --> 00:31:06,879 - All right. 691 00:31:06,879 --> 00:31:07,999 Well, since we're already 692 00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:10,109 in this terribly uncomfortable situation, 693 00:31:10,109 --> 00:31:12,909 anything else you wanna tell me before this date continues? 694 00:31:12,909 --> 00:31:14,949 Like you got weird fetishes diseases 695 00:31:14,949 --> 00:31:15,907 black sheep family members. 696 00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:16,989 You can tell me. 697 00:31:16,989 --> 00:31:20,227 You can tell me, I will be totally fine with it. 698 00:31:20,227 --> 00:31:21,839 - Well, now you mentioned it. 699 00:31:21,839 --> 00:31:25,018 There is something I should tell you. 700 00:31:25,018 --> 00:31:27,101 - Oh, sure, lay it on me. 701 00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:30,327 - I have a four year-old son, Blaze. 702 00:31:30,327 --> 00:31:31,160 - Hello! 703 00:31:37,909 --> 00:31:38,989 - You do? 704 00:31:38,989 --> 00:31:40,327 - Yeah, he's great. 705 00:31:40,327 --> 00:31:42,298 He's just the little light of my life. 706 00:31:42,298 --> 00:31:43,381 - Wow, Blaze. 707 00:31:45,164 --> 00:31:46,581 Is it that, so... 708 00:31:47,554 --> 00:31:49,218 So who's the father? 709 00:31:49,218 --> 00:31:51,157 - I'm not entirely sure. 710 00:31:51,157 --> 00:31:52,218 - You're not? 711 00:31:52,218 --> 00:31:55,589 - No, I know it's definitely like between two or three guys 712 00:31:55,589 --> 00:31:56,422 but you know what? 713 00:31:56,422 --> 00:31:57,778 I figure we can always do DNA testing 714 00:31:57,778 --> 00:31:58,706 but that's only if Blaze, 715 00:31:58,706 --> 00:32:01,746 absolutely just has to know his birth father. 716 00:32:01,746 --> 00:32:03,967 - Right. - Are you my daddy? 717 00:32:03,967 --> 00:32:04,800 - Sure, no. 718 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,437 That makes sense to me. 719 00:32:07,437 --> 00:32:08,937 So what's he like? 720 00:32:09,865 --> 00:32:13,298 - Oh, he's very sweet, energetic hyper kid. 721 00:32:13,298 --> 00:32:15,917 And he hasn't been officially diagnosed 722 00:32:15,917 --> 00:32:17,357 but we think he has ADD. 723 00:32:17,357 --> 00:32:19,157 - Oh. - I like basketball 724 00:32:19,157 --> 00:32:21,096 and baseball and soccer and drawing 725 00:32:21,096 --> 00:32:23,298 and chocolate and pirates, airplanes 726 00:32:23,298 --> 00:32:25,157 and French fries, and video games and- 727 00:32:25,157 --> 00:32:27,066 - Wow, you must really have your hands fold, 728 00:32:27,066 --> 00:32:31,149 Aw, aw, wow, wow, wow! - I do, but you know what? 729 00:32:32,224 --> 00:32:35,325 No matter how much he kicks and screams and bites, 730 00:32:35,325 --> 00:32:37,825 he does love to bite and cries 731 00:32:38,805 --> 00:32:42,154 and fight me on every single thing. 732 00:32:42,154 --> 00:32:43,834 At the end of the day, 733 00:32:43,834 --> 00:32:46,654 when I'm sitting there breastfeeding 734 00:32:46,654 --> 00:32:49,240 and he looks up at me with my nipple 735 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,491 on his cute little mouth. 736 00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:55,991 - Nipple, you still breastfeed your four-year-old son? 737 00:32:57,714 --> 00:33:00,322 - Of course, it really helps a mother-son bond. 738 00:33:00,322 --> 00:33:04,333 Anyway, my point is I wouldn't change it for the world. 739 00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:05,916 - No, that's great. 740 00:33:08,698 --> 00:33:09,865 That is great. 741 00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:13,580 I'm just surprised that Kevin neglected 742 00:33:13,580 --> 00:33:14,938 to mention anything to me. 743 00:33:14,938 --> 00:33:17,572 - Oh yeah, Aaron, there's one other thing 744 00:33:17,572 --> 00:33:19,260 I should tell you about Blaze. 745 00:33:19,260 --> 00:33:20,161 - Really, there's something else? 746 00:33:20,161 --> 00:33:21,711 - He doesn't exist. 747 00:33:21,711 --> 00:33:22,544 - Oh, thank God! 748 00:33:22,544 --> 00:33:23,377 - I'm messing with you. 749 00:33:23,377 --> 00:33:24,429 - Can you imagine having to deal 750 00:33:25,591 --> 00:33:27,172 with some fucking monster child 751 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,339 who's still old enough to ask his mommy 752 00:33:29,339 --> 00:33:31,660 for a tall glass of boob. 753 00:33:31,660 --> 00:33:32,493 - He's real. 754 00:33:32,493 --> 00:33:33,326 - Let me finish. 755 00:33:33,326 --> 00:33:34,252 - I'm joking. 756 00:33:34,252 --> 00:33:36,052 - Fuck you, fuck you. 757 00:33:36,052 --> 00:33:37,972 Why would you do that to me? 758 00:33:37,972 --> 00:33:39,799 - Because it was funny, wasn't it? 759 00:33:39,799 --> 00:33:40,900 - Oh my gosh. 760 00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:45,140 - Really funny, really got him there, Kudos sis. 761 00:33:45,140 --> 00:33:46,520 - Oh, Lauren, what do you want? 762 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,591 - I don't know, maybe to help you get married 763 00:33:48,591 --> 00:33:50,980 or at least asked out on a second date. 764 00:33:50,980 --> 00:33:52,551 You know, I really don't understand you Case, 765 00:33:52,551 --> 00:33:54,530 why do you insist on being so- 766 00:33:54,530 --> 00:33:57,081 - Daring, bold and delightfully controversial? 767 00:33:57,081 --> 00:33:57,914 - I was gonna say harsh, 768 00:33:57,914 --> 00:33:59,380 guarded and slightly confrontational, 769 00:33:59,380 --> 00:34:00,910 but you know, six-of-one. 770 00:34:00,910 --> 00:34:02,620 - I can't help it, that's just who I am. 771 00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:03,453 - That's cute. 772 00:34:03,453 --> 00:34:05,201 But you know what else you can help? 773 00:34:05,201 --> 00:34:06,612 Your biological clock. 774 00:34:06,612 --> 00:34:09,670 And if you listen real close to hear what it's saying, 775 00:34:09,670 --> 00:34:10,911 "Hurry the fuck up." 776 00:34:10,911 --> 00:34:13,632 - No, that's not fair, I've really been trying. 777 00:34:13,632 --> 00:34:15,393 - No you haven't. 778 00:34:15,393 --> 00:34:17,873 This is all a game to you, a sport. 779 00:34:17,873 --> 00:34:18,812 You're not looking for the one, 780 00:34:18,812 --> 00:34:21,042 you just looking for new ways to amuse yourself 781 00:34:21,042 --> 00:34:21,875 in other people's experience. 782 00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:22,708 - You know what? 783 00:34:22,708 --> 00:34:23,541 We can't all be like you. 784 00:34:23,541 --> 00:34:24,711 We can't all meet our dream guy 785 00:34:24,711 --> 00:34:27,781 and settle down in Connecticut at age 24. 786 00:34:27,781 --> 00:34:28,614 - That's hurtful. 787 00:34:28,614 --> 00:34:30,972 We didn't get our first house in Westport till I was 28, 788 00:34:30,972 --> 00:34:32,305 and you know it. 789 00:34:33,193 --> 00:34:34,833 Look just do me a favor, 790 00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:36,473 try a little harder with this guy 791 00:34:36,473 --> 00:34:38,239 'cause Kevin really likes him. 792 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,193 And wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. 793 00:34:40,193 --> 00:34:41,440 If he did it someone nice for once. 794 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,273 - Fine. 795 00:34:43,372 --> 00:34:45,001 - Oh, God, you know what? 796 00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:46,221 I think I need another beer. 797 00:34:46,221 --> 00:34:48,761 Excuse me, can I get a beer please? 798 00:34:48,761 --> 00:34:49,932 Just one, thank you. 799 00:34:49,932 --> 00:34:51,841 - Uh oh, did my menace of an imaginary child force 800 00:34:51,841 --> 00:34:53,201 you to start drinking again? 801 00:34:53,201 --> 00:34:54,801 He does have that effect on people. 802 00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:57,612 - Yeah, he really does, you know I was this close 803 00:34:57,612 --> 00:35:00,332 to driving my imaginary minivan off of the top 804 00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:01,913 of a very steep imaginary place. 805 00:35:01,913 --> 00:35:03,913 - Oh, listen Aaron, don't feel bad. 806 00:35:03,913 --> 00:35:05,943 I totally get why Blaze would scare you. 807 00:35:05,943 --> 00:35:08,633 Well, I mean, we're not all made for breeders, right? 808 00:35:08,633 --> 00:35:10,412 Nothing says we have to have children. 809 00:35:10,412 --> 00:35:11,732 Am I right? 810 00:35:11,732 --> 00:35:13,721 - So you don't wanna have kids? 811 00:35:13,721 --> 00:35:17,492 - No, well, definitely yeah, I do, someday. 812 00:35:17,492 --> 00:35:18,852 - Yeah, me too. 813 00:35:18,852 --> 00:35:21,261 I want a big family actually. 814 00:35:21,261 --> 00:35:23,841 Not yet though, but come on, can't you imagine it. 815 00:35:23,841 --> 00:35:25,932 Bunch of little Aarons running around, 816 00:35:25,932 --> 00:35:28,092 all saying giving off a goffy elbo. 817 00:35:28,092 --> 00:35:29,401 - Oh, yeah, on their little suits? 818 00:35:29,401 --> 00:35:30,433 - Well, come on! 819 00:35:30,433 --> 00:35:31,473 You know it's funny actually, 820 00:35:31,473 --> 00:35:33,703 my ex always used to say to me, 821 00:35:33,703 --> 00:35:35,023 - Oh no, you don't do it. 822 00:35:35,023 --> 00:35:35,892 - No, I don't what Gabe? 823 00:35:35,892 --> 00:35:38,913 - Dude, dude, we've been over this like 100 times. 824 00:35:38,913 --> 00:35:41,823 You never ever bring up your ex on the first date. 825 00:35:41,823 --> 00:35:42,656 - Why not? 826 00:35:42,656 --> 00:35:44,703 Allison was such a huge part of my life. 827 00:35:45,536 --> 00:35:47,462 - There's just no way you can exclude me 828 00:35:47,462 --> 00:35:49,353 from the conversation. 829 00:35:49,353 --> 00:35:52,174 - No, no, no, Aaron get her out of your head. 830 00:35:52,174 --> 00:35:53,014 I'm begging you. 831 00:35:53,014 --> 00:35:55,742 This is not the time to be thinking about Allison. 832 00:35:55,742 --> 00:35:56,575 - Okay- 833 00:35:56,575 --> 00:35:58,222 - Guess he can't help himself Gabe. 834 00:35:58,222 --> 00:35:59,732 I'm simply too wonderful. 835 00:36:01,884 --> 00:36:04,301 - She's simply too wonderful. 836 00:36:06,844 --> 00:36:07,964 ♪ You look buff ♪ 837 00:36:07,964 --> 00:36:10,273 ♪ You've been working out babe ♪ 838 00:36:10,273 --> 00:36:13,633 ♪ All your hotness is making me weak ♪ 839 00:36:13,633 --> 00:36:14,973 ♪ Love the haircut ♪ 840 00:36:14,973 --> 00:36:17,132 ♪ I love the suit ♪ 841 00:36:17,132 --> 00:36:20,534 ♪ You're a walking example of chic ♪ 842 00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:24,033 ♪ You're the handsomest man in this restaurant ♪ 843 00:36:24,033 --> 00:36:27,364 ♪ Like a model right out of GQ ♪ 844 00:36:27,364 --> 00:36:32,364 ♪ You're also the world's greatest lover ♪ 845 00:36:32,444 --> 00:36:35,313 ♪ So rip off my clothes ♪ 846 00:36:35,313 --> 00:36:36,392 ♪ Spread my legs ♪ 847 00:36:36,392 --> 00:36:37,913 ♪ Have your way with me ♪ 848 00:36:37,913 --> 00:36:41,012 ♪ Oh how I crave your ♪ 849 00:36:41,012 --> 00:36:44,241 - Bull shit, "Rip off my clothes. 850 00:36:44,241 --> 00:36:45,612 Have your way with me." 851 00:36:45,612 --> 00:36:48,130 That's not what Allison would say and you know it. 852 00:36:48,130 --> 00:36:49,601 Now be honest with yourself. 853 00:36:49,601 --> 00:36:52,409 What would Allison really say to you? 854 00:36:52,409 --> 00:36:53,492 - Well, you mean like in the bedroom? 855 00:36:53,492 --> 00:36:55,422 - Yeah. - Well, I guess I would go 856 00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:57,157 a little something more like this and- 857 00:36:57,990 --> 00:36:59,260 Allison, wanna have sex? 858 00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:01,679 - Sorry, you know the rules. 859 00:37:01,679 --> 00:37:04,927 Once the retainer goes in the va-jay-jay's off-limits. 860 00:37:04,927 --> 00:37:06,031 - Exactly, don't you see? 861 00:37:06,864 --> 00:37:09,461 The real Allison is not the way you choose to remember her. 862 00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:12,669 She's a frigid, emotionally manipulative wench 863 00:37:12,669 --> 00:37:14,982 that you need to permanently erase from your thoughts. 864 00:37:14,982 --> 00:37:17,232 So you can finally move on. 865 00:37:18,092 --> 00:37:20,372 - Okay, okay, okay, I got you. 866 00:37:20,372 --> 00:37:23,641 Okay, no more Allison, she's out of my head. 867 00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:25,721 Now please, what am I doing about my date? 868 00:37:25,721 --> 00:37:27,041 Because- - Well, thankfully, 869 00:37:27,041 --> 00:37:29,801 you got your best friend here to help you through this. 870 00:37:29,801 --> 00:37:32,702 Now, Aaron, do I get ass? 871 00:37:32,702 --> 00:37:33,850 - Yes. - Yes, and I'm gonna help 872 00:37:33,850 --> 00:37:36,411 you get some too, but only if you listened 873 00:37:36,411 --> 00:37:37,791 to your consigliere. 874 00:37:37,791 --> 00:37:40,972 So remember you talk about the ex, 875 00:37:40,972 --> 00:37:44,471 you can forget about the sex, got it? 876 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,304 - Yes got it. 877 00:37:45,304 --> 00:37:48,111 Talk about ex, forget about this talk. 878 00:37:48,111 --> 00:37:50,840 - Your ex always used to say you what? 879 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:52,442 - Not much, nothing at all actually, 880 00:37:52,442 --> 00:37:53,942 she was mute. - Oh. 881 00:37:57,151 --> 00:37:58,740 - Can we talk about something else? 882 00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:00,898 - Absolutely, let's re-focus. 883 00:38:04,202 --> 00:38:05,271 Oh my God,. 884 00:38:05,271 --> 00:38:09,522 - Okay, so I know that guys absolutely love 885 00:38:09,522 --> 00:38:10,620 to talk about work. 886 00:38:10,620 --> 00:38:13,811 So why don't you regale me with some anecdotes 887 00:38:13,811 --> 00:38:14,880 and stories about that? 888 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:15,762 - Oh, no problem. 889 00:38:15,762 --> 00:38:16,731 And what do you wanna know? 890 00:38:16,731 --> 00:38:18,042 - Well, what you do exactly? 891 00:38:18,042 --> 00:38:21,812 - Ah, investment banking, corporate finance 892 00:38:21,812 --> 00:38:26,812 and sometimes I fiddle around with mergers and acquisitions. 893 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:30,412 - Oh, sounds riveting. 894 00:38:30,412 --> 00:38:32,745 - Yeah, just one, thank you. 895 00:38:34,109 --> 00:38:36,758 I know it's the most sexier or fascinating a job 896 00:38:36,758 --> 00:38:38,260 but it pays bills. 897 00:38:38,260 --> 00:38:40,050 - Yes, but does it fulfill your soul. 898 00:38:40,050 --> 00:38:43,848 - It fulfills my sole purpose of making money. 899 00:38:43,848 --> 00:38:46,050 - Okay, all right, so you're one of those guys. 900 00:38:46,050 --> 00:38:49,088 Is that what it's all about for you, the cash-ola? 901 00:38:49,088 --> 00:38:50,228 - Well, it is for now. 902 00:38:50,228 --> 00:38:51,197 Anyway, what about you? 903 00:38:51,197 --> 00:38:54,239 Kevin told me that you work in an art gallery. 904 00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,730 Is that always been your lifelong ambition? 905 00:38:56,730 --> 00:38:58,689 - No, but it's creative 906 00:38:58,689 --> 00:39:00,449 and it's a good place for me to study my craft. 907 00:39:00,449 --> 00:39:01,598 - Oh cool, which is? 908 00:39:01,598 --> 00:39:02,849 - Photography. - Ah, no way. 909 00:39:02,849 --> 00:39:03,690 You're a photographer? 910 00:39:03,690 --> 00:39:06,857 - Yes, no, well, no, I used to dabble. 911 00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:10,290 I own a camera. 912 00:39:10,290 --> 00:39:11,500 - So what do you do at the gallery? 913 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,522 You pick up the pieces? 914 00:39:13,522 --> 00:39:16,370 - Yeah, sometimes. - Cool. 915 00:39:16,370 --> 00:39:17,562 - Why? 916 00:39:17,562 --> 00:39:19,180 - Oh no, it's just that I thought 917 00:39:19,180 --> 00:39:21,650 the whole Damien Hirst exhibition was awesome. 918 00:39:21,650 --> 00:39:23,887 - Thank you. - Yeah. 919 00:39:23,887 --> 00:39:25,420 - Wait a minute. 920 00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:27,670 How do you know about that? 921 00:39:29,289 --> 00:39:32,708 - I may have done some research online before our date. 922 00:39:32,708 --> 00:39:33,708 - Oh! - Yeah. 923 00:39:35,368 --> 00:39:36,369 - You googled me? 924 00:39:36,369 --> 00:39:40,319 - Well, yes, I googled you, but let me explain. 925 00:39:40,319 --> 00:39:45,319 I just wanted to let myself know what I was in for before. 926 00:39:45,650 --> 00:39:47,066 - And what else did you find out? 927 00:39:47,066 --> 00:39:49,279 - What didn't he find out? 928 00:39:49,279 --> 00:39:51,138 - I know Google, is that you? 929 00:39:51,138 --> 00:39:55,618 Again, why do you always have to ruin everything? 930 00:39:55,618 --> 00:39:58,138 - Because I'm the world's number one search engine. 931 00:39:58,138 --> 00:39:59,971 That's why, and Casey. 932 00:40:02,338 --> 00:40:05,730 ♪ You know exactly all that he uncovered ♪ 933 00:40:05,730 --> 00:40:09,119 ♪ Your dirty secrets aren't safe with me ♪ 934 00:40:09,119 --> 00:40:12,748 ♪ Mistakes that will be better undiscovered ♪ 935 00:40:12,748 --> 00:40:15,770 ♪ I display them all for all to see ♪ 936 00:40:15,770 --> 00:40:19,511 ♪ Like the time that you were kicked out of the girl scouts ♪ 937 00:40:19,511 --> 00:40:22,690 ♪ Or got high with your boyfriend in a church ♪ 938 00:40:22,690 --> 00:40:24,410 ♪ Or how you were thrown in jail ♪ 939 00:40:24,410 --> 00:40:26,990 ♪ Trying to save a sea world whale ♪ 940 00:40:26,990 --> 00:40:31,990 ♪ It's all there when you hit search ♪ 941 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,050 ♪ And you can't erase it ♪ 942 00:40:34,050 --> 00:40:35,967 ♪ You can't suppress ♪ 943 00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:38,719 ♪ All the information that my servers poses ♪ 944 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,700 ♪ There's a little saying that I hold dear ♪ 945 00:40:42,700 --> 00:40:45,625 ♪ The world wide we is forever ♪ 946 00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:49,542 ♪ So you've everything to fear ♪ 947 00:40:52,297 --> 00:40:53,457 - What are you doing? 948 00:40:53,457 --> 00:40:54,777 - Well, if you googled me 949 00:40:54,777 --> 00:40:56,748 I think it's only fair I google you right back 950 00:40:56,748 --> 00:40:57,581 don't you? 951 00:40:57,581 --> 00:41:01,313 - No, no, not at all, that's not the rule. 952 00:41:01,313 --> 00:41:03,230 You cannot believe everything that you read on here. 953 00:41:03,230 --> 00:41:04,180 That's... 954 00:41:04,180 --> 00:41:05,263 Can I just... 955 00:41:09,502 --> 00:41:10,335 ♪ Twitter ♪ 956 00:41:10,335 --> 00:41:12,679 ♪ Those tweets you tweeted after your big break up ♪ 957 00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:13,521 ♪ Facebook ♪ 958 00:41:13,521 --> 00:41:16,128 ♪ Your Facebook friends cap out of 54 ♪ 959 00:41:16,128 --> 00:41:16,961 ♪ YouTube ♪ 960 00:41:16,961 --> 00:41:20,529 ♪ That movie of you in a dress and makeup ♪ 961 00:41:20,529 --> 00:41:22,749 ♪ Humping an inflated dinosaur ♪ 962 00:41:22,749 --> 00:41:24,929 All right, that was a fraternity hazing ritual. 963 00:41:24,929 --> 00:41:25,762 ♪ Instagram ♪ 964 00:41:25,762 --> 00:41:27,940 ♪ Those pics where you looked oranger than a pumpkin ♪ 965 00:41:27,940 --> 00:41:28,939 That is bad spray tan. 966 00:41:28,939 --> 00:41:33,789 ♪ Oh how you were accused of homicide ♪ 967 00:41:33,789 --> 00:41:34,622 That's... 968 00:41:34,622 --> 00:41:37,913 No, that's another Aaron Goldfarb. 969 00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,620 ♪ All the world will always know ♪ 970 00:41:39,620 --> 00:41:42,110 ♪ How you hard a giant fro ♪ 971 00:41:42,110 --> 00:41:47,110 ♪ You can run but you can't hide ♪ 972 00:41:47,310 --> 00:41:50,892 ♪ 'Cause you can't erase it you can't suppress ♪ 973 00:41:50,892 --> 00:41:53,889 ♪ All the information that our servers possess ♪ 974 00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:57,892 ♪ There's no hitting backspace no second chance ♪ 975 00:41:57,892 --> 00:42:00,741 ♪ The world wide web is forever ♪ 976 00:42:00,741 --> 00:42:04,908 ♪ Threatening any shot at romance ♪ 977 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,270 Okay, hotshot, okay, I didn't search had enough 978 00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:10,521 the first time. 979 00:42:10,521 --> 00:42:14,438 So let's see what other dirt I can find on you. 980 00:42:19,099 --> 00:42:19,932 Wait. 981 00:42:19,932 --> 00:42:20,889 Oh my! 982 00:42:20,889 --> 00:42:23,758 - In your high school production of Hello Dolly- 983 00:42:23,758 --> 00:42:25,549 - That's bad. 984 00:42:25,549 --> 00:42:26,940 - You were Dolly. 985 00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:28,659 How embarrassing. 986 00:42:28,659 --> 00:42:30,060 - I went to an All-Boys Academy. 987 00:42:30,060 --> 00:42:31,569 And I'll have you know, the school newspaper 988 00:42:31,569 --> 00:42:34,729 people call my work "oddly compelling." 989 00:42:34,729 --> 00:42:36,598 ♪ Oh wow ♪ 990 00:42:36,598 --> 00:42:39,550 ♪ No way ♪ 991 00:42:39,550 --> 00:42:42,118 ♪ You did that ♪ 992 00:42:42,118 --> 00:42:45,860 ♪ This can't be you awkward ♪ 993 00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:48,820 ♪ what were you thinking pervert ♪ 994 00:42:48,820 --> 00:42:53,820 ♪ You can't escape us we are always there ♪ 995 00:42:55,220 --> 00:42:56,678 ♪ Watching and waiting ♪ 996 00:42:56,678 --> 00:42:59,069 ♪ And sometimes misstating the truth ♪ 997 00:42:59,069 --> 00:43:01,910 ♪ Thus negating your chances of meeting ♪ 998 00:43:01,910 --> 00:43:03,518 ♪ No point in debating ♪ 999 00:43:03,518 --> 00:43:06,990 ♪ 'Cause we've been creating a hell unabating ♪ 1000 00:43:06,990 --> 00:43:09,099 ♪ For anyone dating ♪ 1001 00:43:09,099 --> 00:43:10,860 ♪ Oh you can't delete ♪ 1002 00:43:10,860 --> 00:43:12,910 ♪ All the crap you've done ♪ 1003 00:43:12,910 --> 00:43:14,750 ♪ It's man versus the internet ♪ 1004 00:43:14,750 --> 00:43:16,150 ♪ And guess who has won ♪ 1005 00:43:16,150 --> 00:43:18,310 ♪ So remember when you Skype ♪ 1006 00:43:18,310 --> 00:43:19,980 ♪ In the nude ♪ 1007 00:43:19,980 --> 00:43:23,398 ♪ The world wide web is forever ♪ 1008 00:43:23,398 --> 00:43:26,807 ♪ The world wide web is forever ♪ 1009 00:43:26,807 --> 00:43:30,798 ♪ The world wide web is forever ♪ 1010 00:43:30,798 --> 00:43:35,798 ♪ Take note or you're totally screwed ♪ 1011 00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:40,782 ♪ You're really screwed ♪ 1012 00:43:42,750 --> 00:43:45,169 Wait, can we please just call the truce please? 1013 00:43:45,169 --> 00:43:46,489 - Okay, - Okay, 1014 00:43:46,489 --> 00:43:47,838 - Phones down. - Yes back in their holsters. 1015 00:43:47,838 --> 00:43:49,171 Turn, yes, boom. 1016 00:43:50,590 --> 00:43:54,580 So we both have things floating around on the internet 1017 00:43:54,580 --> 00:43:55,678 that we're not proud of. 1018 00:43:55,678 --> 00:43:58,597 - Yes, and there's no way to get rid of them either. 1019 00:43:58,597 --> 00:43:59,809 Believe me I've tried. 1020 00:43:59,809 --> 00:44:01,388 - You know what, I think it's funny, right? 1021 00:44:01,388 --> 00:44:03,569 The internet is supposed to be this great way 1022 00:44:03,569 --> 00:44:05,260 of connecting people or whatever. 1023 00:44:05,260 --> 00:44:07,558 But I actually think that it's doing the opposite. 1024 00:44:07,558 --> 00:44:09,358 Especially when it comes to dating. 1025 00:44:09,358 --> 00:44:12,740 - I agree, I think when you can find out everything 1026 00:44:12,740 --> 00:44:14,348 you would ever wanna know about somebody 1027 00:44:14,348 --> 00:44:16,108 before meeting them, what's the fun of that? 1028 00:44:16,108 --> 00:44:16,941 - Right, right. 1029 00:44:16,941 --> 00:44:18,860 It's like you make all these unfair judgments 1030 00:44:18,860 --> 00:44:22,219 about someone without ever seeing the person face-to-face. 1031 00:44:22,219 --> 00:44:24,917 - Or experiencing what it's like to interact with them. 1032 00:44:24,917 --> 00:44:26,478 - Yes, to hear their voice. 1033 00:44:26,478 --> 00:44:29,409 - God forbid, maybe touch them. 1034 00:44:29,409 --> 00:44:32,268 - Would you please explain to me that hand move? 1035 00:44:32,268 --> 00:44:35,344 - Dude, I can't believe she totally put her hand on you. 1036 00:44:35,344 --> 00:44:36,563 - What, that, that was nothing. 1037 00:44:36,563 --> 00:44:37,493 - Yes, I know Gabe. 1038 00:44:37,493 --> 00:44:38,893 But I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it. 1039 00:44:38,893 --> 00:44:39,726 So sh. 1040 00:44:39,726 --> 00:44:40,559 - Look at me Case, 1041 00:44:40,559 --> 00:44:42,584 now, do you wanna find something genuine and meaningful 1042 00:44:42,584 --> 00:44:45,173 like I have with Kevin or not? 1043 00:44:45,173 --> 00:44:47,236 - Yes, I mean, in theory. 1044 00:44:47,236 --> 00:44:48,626 - You got to start playing it slow. 1045 00:44:48,626 --> 00:44:50,707 'Cause landing a quality guy's like a marathon, 1046 00:44:50,707 --> 00:44:52,895 not a sprint to fuck county. 1047 00:44:52,895 --> 00:44:55,387 - Dude, whatever it is you're doing, keep doing it 1048 00:44:55,387 --> 00:44:58,085 'cause you might actually have a shot with this one. 1049 00:44:58,085 --> 00:44:59,845 I know I'm as shocked as you're. 1050 00:44:59,845 --> 00:45:02,237 - Hi, how are we doing over here? 1051 00:45:02,237 --> 00:45:04,717 - Uh, good, good, I'm good, you good? 1052 00:45:04,717 --> 00:45:05,550 - Yeah, good. 1053 00:45:05,550 --> 00:45:06,383 - Everyone's good. 1054 00:45:07,216 --> 00:45:08,049 Whatever, you good? 1055 00:45:08,049 --> 00:45:09,632 - Yeah, poop, poop! 1056 00:45:11,642 --> 00:45:12,994 - Thank you. 1057 00:45:12,994 --> 00:45:16,002 - Here we go, can I get you guys anything else? 1058 00:45:16,002 --> 00:45:17,482 - No, you know what? 1059 00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:20,114 Actually, I'm pretty starving. 1060 00:45:20,114 --> 00:45:21,452 You wanna grab something to eat? 1061 00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:22,674 Food's supposed to be real good here. 1062 00:45:22,674 --> 00:45:23,634 - Could eat something, yeah. 1063 00:45:23,634 --> 00:45:24,503 - Great, great! 1064 00:45:24,503 --> 00:45:25,674 - Great! 1065 00:45:25,674 --> 00:45:26,802 Right this way. 1066 00:45:26,802 --> 00:45:29,132 - All right, thanks. 1067 00:45:29,132 --> 00:45:29,965 After you. 1068 00:45:29,965 --> 00:45:31,233 - Yes. 1069 00:45:35,461 --> 00:45:37,772 - Hey, hi, how are you doing? 1070 00:45:37,772 --> 00:45:39,183 You good? 1071 00:45:39,183 --> 00:45:42,831 This is a Meta-Moment where I directly address the camera. 1072 00:45:42,831 --> 00:45:44,410 Have you ever been on a first date 1073 00:45:44,410 --> 00:45:45,522 and you really got to pee 1074 00:45:45,522 --> 00:45:47,922 but you can't quite work out when to go. 1075 00:45:47,922 --> 00:45:50,591 Well, I always recommend going in between courses 1076 00:45:50,591 --> 00:45:52,532 which is right now. 1077 00:45:52,532 --> 00:45:55,191 So go to the restroom top up your wine, 1078 00:45:55,191 --> 00:45:56,223 do whatever you got to do. 1079 00:45:56,223 --> 00:45:57,282 You got three minutes. 1080 00:45:57,282 --> 00:45:58,850 So I recommend it's only a pee. 1081 00:45:58,850 --> 00:46:00,350 Ready, steady, go! 1082 00:46:13,903 --> 00:46:18,320 Yeah, this is literally how we're doing the interval. 1083 00:46:22,621 --> 00:46:23,943 That's a nice lamp. 1084 00:46:29,261 --> 00:46:32,262 Got a dead leg already. 1085 00:46:40,423 --> 00:46:41,703 Do you mind if I don't smile? 1086 00:46:41,703 --> 00:46:43,063 My jaw's kind of aching. 1087 00:46:56,812 --> 00:46:58,324 Damn, some nice cushions. 1088 00:46:58,324 --> 00:47:00,474 Where did they come from, Walmart? 1089 00:47:08,164 --> 00:47:08,997 No, no. 1090 00:47:08,997 --> 00:47:09,830 No, no, seriously, 1091 00:47:09,830 --> 00:47:11,474 I don't get any more interesting than this. 1092 00:47:11,474 --> 00:47:13,057 Go, go pee, go pee. 1093 00:47:15,652 --> 00:47:17,644 Gentlemen, only shake it twice, 1094 00:47:17,644 --> 00:47:19,652 more than twice and you're playing with it. 1095 00:47:29,463 --> 00:47:31,652 Madam, did you not plan on wearing any clothes 1096 00:47:31,652 --> 00:47:32,661 for this live stream? 1097 00:47:32,661 --> 00:47:35,922 I mean it's fine but it's just a little disrespectful. 1098 00:47:39,794 --> 00:47:43,034 Sir, you be as disrespectful as you want. 1099 00:47:49,111 --> 00:47:50,944 I love a bichon frise. 1100 00:47:52,154 --> 00:47:54,721 Hey, what's your name? 1101 00:47:56,423 --> 00:47:58,120 I'm a dog whisper. 1102 00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,540 ♪ When I say digital ♪ 1103 00:48:03,540 --> 00:48:04,791 ♪ You say musical ♪ 1104 00:48:04,791 --> 00:48:06,129 ♪ Digital digital ♪ 1105 00:48:06,129 --> 00:48:07,450 ♪ Digital digital ♪ 1106 00:48:07,450 --> 00:48:08,399 Did you do it? 1107 00:48:08,399 --> 00:48:09,439 I bet you didn't. 1108 00:48:17,111 --> 00:48:19,528 Now we're two minutes, 16 in. 1109 00:48:21,647 --> 00:48:23,258 I don't know why I chose that timestamp 1110 00:48:23,258 --> 00:48:24,599 but it's not particularly important. 1111 00:48:30,610 --> 00:48:32,170 Now you got 30 seconds left. 1112 00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:33,710 There's a lot you can do in 30 seconds. 1113 00:48:33,710 --> 00:48:34,631 Isn't that sir? 1114 00:48:38,518 --> 00:48:40,601 Should we do a countdown? 1115 00:48:42,678 --> 00:48:45,620 Okay, we're gonna count down from 10. 1116 00:48:45,620 --> 00:48:46,453 Ready? 1117 00:48:48,438 --> 00:48:49,355 Here we go. 1118 00:48:50,588 --> 00:48:51,911 10, 1119 00:48:51,911 --> 00:48:52,951 nine, 1120 00:48:52,951 --> 00:48:53,879 eight, 1121 00:48:53,879 --> 00:48:54,810 seven, 1122 00:48:54,810 --> 00:48:55,830 six, 1123 00:48:55,830 --> 00:48:56,770 five, 1124 00:48:56,770 --> 00:48:57,719 four, 1125 00:48:57,719 --> 00:48:58,591 three, 1126 00:48:58,591 --> 00:48:59,671 two, 1127 00:48:59,671 --> 00:49:01,159 one. 1128 00:49:01,159 --> 00:49:03,778 Okay, let's get back to the first date. 1129 00:49:07,842 --> 00:49:08,842 - Thank you. 1130 00:49:10,495 --> 00:49:12,064 - Here we go. 1131 00:49:12,064 --> 00:49:13,015 - Thank you so much. 1132 00:49:13,015 --> 00:49:13,848 - Uh-huh. 1133 00:49:13,848 --> 00:49:15,598 - Okay, all the best. 1134 00:49:20,615 --> 00:49:23,534 So, anything jumping out at you? 1135 00:49:23,534 --> 00:49:25,075 - I don't know. 1136 00:49:25,075 --> 00:49:27,195 The burger and fries sounds pretty amazing. 1137 00:49:27,195 --> 00:49:29,666 - Sure it does if you're trying to make weight, 1138 00:49:29,666 --> 00:49:32,146 right before a big Sumo Wrestling Competition, 1139 00:49:32,146 --> 00:49:33,015 but not on a first date. 1140 00:49:33,015 --> 00:49:33,848 - Why not? 1141 00:49:33,848 --> 00:49:35,294 It shows that I'm confident with my body 1142 00:49:35,294 --> 00:49:36,837 and I don't have any weird eating issue. 1143 00:49:36,837 --> 00:49:38,285 - No, it shows him that you have 1144 00:49:38,285 --> 00:49:39,695 an unusually healthy appetite. 1145 00:49:39,695 --> 00:49:42,277 And then one day all of this is gonna go away 1146 00:49:42,277 --> 00:49:44,083 and you're gonna end up on the biggest loser 1147 00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:46,397 "Gee, I wonder why I'm still single" edition. 1148 00:49:46,397 --> 00:49:48,745 - That's ridiculous, guys don't think like that. 1149 00:49:48,745 --> 00:49:50,664 I'm getting the burger. 1150 00:49:50,664 --> 00:49:51,885 What are you looking at? 1151 00:49:51,885 --> 00:49:53,204 - I don't know, maybe the chop salad. 1152 00:49:53,204 --> 00:49:55,237 - No, fuck you, you're not getting that. 1153 00:49:55,237 --> 00:49:56,146 - What's the big deal? 1154 00:49:56,146 --> 00:49:57,565 - Salads are for pussies. 1155 00:49:57,565 --> 00:49:59,575 You're getting a burger, rare. 1156 00:49:59,575 --> 00:50:01,775 - But I want a salad. 1157 00:50:01,775 --> 00:50:03,375 - And I want Taylor Swift 1158 00:50:03,375 --> 00:50:04,845 but you know how I'm not getting her 1159 00:50:04,845 --> 00:50:08,495 by ordering a sissy salad with my balls on the side, 1160 00:50:08,495 --> 00:50:09,877 on our very first date. 1161 00:50:09,877 --> 00:50:10,710 - You're insane, okay? 1162 00:50:10,710 --> 00:50:11,543 I'm not listening to you. 1163 00:50:11,543 --> 00:50:14,151 I want to chop salad, remember the chopped salad, okay? 1164 00:50:14,984 --> 00:50:16,085 - Made any decisions? 1165 00:50:16,085 --> 00:50:17,237 - I'll have the chop salad, please. 1166 00:50:17,237 --> 00:50:18,715 - I'll get the burger. 1167 00:50:18,715 --> 00:50:20,035 - Thank you, coming right up. 1168 00:50:20,035 --> 00:50:20,868 - Thanks. 1169 00:50:22,615 --> 00:50:24,365 Salad, what happened? 1170 00:50:26,404 --> 00:50:27,535 Thought you were gonna get the burger. 1171 00:50:27,535 --> 00:50:30,704 Hope you didn't order the salad for my benefit, did you? 1172 00:50:30,704 --> 00:50:33,543 - No, of course not, why would I do that? 1173 00:50:33,543 --> 00:50:36,064 Well, some girls think that they got to order 1174 00:50:36,064 --> 00:50:37,192 a salad on the first date. 1175 00:50:37,192 --> 00:50:38,243 They gonna show the guy that they care 1176 00:50:38,243 --> 00:50:39,491 about their body or whatever, 1177 00:50:39,491 --> 00:50:42,340 which I think is completely ridiculous. 1178 00:50:42,340 --> 00:50:43,173 - You do? 1179 00:50:43,173 --> 00:50:44,006 - Well, yeah, for sure, I mean 1180 00:50:44,006 --> 00:50:46,312 if honest I'd rather order some meat and potatoes. 1181 00:50:46,312 --> 00:50:47,792 Really just get in there, right? 1182 00:50:47,792 --> 00:50:49,250 But that's just my preference. 1183 00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:50,211 - So are you telling me 1184 00:50:50,211 --> 00:50:54,572 that you don't care about how a girl looks? 1185 00:50:54,572 --> 00:50:57,822 - No, not really, rather she was happy. 1186 00:50:59,022 --> 00:50:59,855 - For real? 1187 00:50:59,855 --> 00:51:01,272 - Yeah, for real. 1188 00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:04,920 I mean it, at the end of the day looks go, 1189 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,948 but if you still have things in common, 1190 00:51:06,948 --> 00:51:08,138 and can still make each other laugh, 1191 00:51:08,138 --> 00:51:11,471 then that's all that really matters, uh? 1192 00:51:13,127 --> 00:51:15,174 You have got to be kidding me. 1193 00:51:15,174 --> 00:51:18,825 - You're not really gonna fall for this bollocks, are you? 1194 00:51:18,825 --> 00:51:20,226 - Come on guys, leave us alone, 1195 00:51:20,226 --> 00:51:22,887 you have no right to get in the middle of this. 1196 00:51:22,887 --> 00:51:25,938 - We have every right to get in the middle of this. 1197 00:51:25,938 --> 00:51:27,127 - We're your past. 1198 00:51:27,127 --> 00:51:28,818 - And your future, love. 1199 00:51:28,818 --> 00:51:31,847 - Look, you guys satisfied a very specific need 1200 00:51:31,847 --> 00:51:33,357 at a very specific time. 1201 00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:36,167 But thankfully that phase is over. 1202 00:51:36,167 --> 00:51:37,864 - You always think it's over. 1203 00:51:37,864 --> 00:51:42,281 - You like bad boys Casey, not this, it's who you're. 1204 00:51:43,858 --> 00:51:45,205 - Why fight it? 1205 00:51:46,357 --> 00:51:49,258 ♪ I never open up your door ♪ 1206 00:51:49,258 --> 00:51:52,287 ♪ I never shower you with praise ♪ 1207 00:51:52,287 --> 00:51:54,618 ♪ When you call or text my phone ♪ 1208 00:51:54,618 --> 00:51:58,477 ♪ I don't reply to you for days ♪ 1209 00:51:58,477 --> 00:52:03,477 ♪ I can't hold down a job I failed my GED ♪ 1210 00:52:04,017 --> 00:52:08,058 ♪ I'm angry and indifferent and babe ♪ 1211 00:52:08,058 --> 00:52:11,327 ♪ Ooh babe that's why you love me ♪ 1212 00:52:11,327 --> 00:52:16,327 ♪ Ooh that's why you love me ♪ 1213 00:52:16,327 --> 00:52:19,258 ♪ I'll take you out to awesome meals ♪ 1214 00:52:19,258 --> 00:52:22,436 ♪ But can't afford to pay the checks ♪ 1215 00:52:22,436 --> 00:52:24,487 ♪ I will pledge eternal love ♪ 1216 00:52:24,487 --> 00:52:28,527 ♪ Then leave your place right after sex ♪ 1217 00:52:28,527 --> 00:52:30,996 ♪ I always say I'm booked ♪ 1218 00:52:30,996 --> 00:52:34,034 ♪ In truth I'm usually free ♪ 1219 00:52:34,034 --> 00:52:37,616 ♪ I canceled on your birthday and babe ♪ 1220 00:52:37,616 --> 00:52:41,747 ♪ Ooh babe, that's why you love me ♪ 1221 00:52:41,747 --> 00:52:44,896 ♪ That's why you love me ♪ 1222 00:52:44,896 --> 00:52:49,526 ♪ That's why you love me ♪ 1223 00:52:49,526 --> 00:52:51,926 ♪ You love how I keep you guessing ♪ 1224 00:52:51,926 --> 00:52:55,347 ♪ If I'm interested or not ♪ 1225 00:52:55,347 --> 00:52:57,155 ♪ And how I tell your mother ♪ 1226 00:52:57,155 --> 00:53:01,395 ♪ That she is super-frickin' hot ♪ 1227 00:53:01,395 --> 00:53:04,256 ♪ How I cover up my lies ♪ 1228 00:53:04,256 --> 00:53:07,314 ♪ By saying I'm hanging with the guys ♪ 1229 00:53:07,314 --> 00:53:09,955 ♪ No one will treat you half as nice ♪ 1230 00:53:09,955 --> 00:53:14,955 ♪ I only cheated on you twice ♪ 1231 00:53:17,907 --> 00:53:20,073 ♪ You've got no choice you know you're hooked ♪ 1232 00:53:20,073 --> 00:53:20,906 ♪ You're hooked ♪ 1233 00:53:20,906 --> 00:53:22,987 ♪ You gave it up on our first date ♪ 1234 00:53:22,987 --> 00:53:23,894 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 1235 00:53:23,894 --> 00:53:26,107 ♪ After I told you you looked fine ♪ 1236 00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:28,696 ♪ But had to lose a little weight ♪ 1237 00:53:28,696 --> 00:53:30,016 ♪ Only 10 pounds ♪ 1238 00:53:30,016 --> 00:53:32,355 ♪ I'm bound to disappoint ♪ 1239 00:53:32,355 --> 00:53:35,395 ♪ I'm sure that you'd agree ♪ 1240 00:53:35,395 --> 00:53:38,347 ♪ I'm snotty and neglectful ♪ 1241 00:53:38,347 --> 00:53:41,355 ♪ I'm nasty and self-serving ♪ 1242 00:53:41,355 --> 00:53:45,646 ♪ I've got a giant penis and babe ♪ 1243 00:53:45,646 --> 00:53:48,094 ♪ Ooh, babe that's why you love me ♪ 1244 00:53:48,094 --> 00:53:49,247 ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪ 1245 00:53:49,247 --> 00:53:51,248 ♪ That's why you love me ♪ 1246 00:53:51,248 --> 00:53:52,427 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 1247 00:53:52,427 --> 00:53:56,848 ♪ That's why you love me ♪ 1248 00:53:56,848 --> 00:54:00,688 ♪ That's why you love me ♪ 1249 00:54:00,688 --> 00:54:03,888 - Tell me, Aaron, have you ever been arrested? 1250 00:54:03,888 --> 00:54:04,975 - Sorry? 1251 00:54:04,975 --> 00:54:07,947 - Done any jail time, I'll even count juvie, I'm not picky. 1252 00:54:07,947 --> 00:54:11,407 - Oh no, no jail time here to visit Alcatraz once. 1253 00:54:11,407 --> 00:54:12,240 Hey, fun fact. 1254 00:54:12,240 --> 00:54:15,797 - How about drugs, ecstasy, coke, methamphetamines 1255 00:54:15,797 --> 00:54:18,207 ever had what people might call problem. 1256 00:54:18,207 --> 00:54:20,616 - Tried mushrooms in college one night accidentally. 1257 00:54:20,616 --> 00:54:22,056 That's why I make my own pizzas now. 1258 00:54:22,056 --> 00:54:23,688 - Random piercings, tattoos, 1259 00:54:23,688 --> 00:54:25,547 I'll even settle for henna. 1260 00:54:25,547 --> 00:54:29,215 - No, I'm a little confused by this. 1261 00:54:29,215 --> 00:54:30,896 Where are these questions coming from? 1262 00:54:30,896 --> 00:54:34,335 - Listen Aaron, I think you were really sweet. 1263 00:54:34,335 --> 00:54:36,536 Really put together a guy 1264 00:54:36,536 --> 00:54:40,119 but I'm usually more attracted to bad boys. 1265 00:54:44,776 --> 00:54:49,048 - And I guess that means that you think that I'm- 1266 00:54:49,048 --> 00:54:52,816 - Not a bad boy, which is totally fine. 1267 00:54:52,816 --> 00:54:53,776 You're who you're. 1268 00:54:53,776 --> 00:54:56,787 It's just not what I normally go for. 1269 00:54:56,787 --> 00:54:57,620 - Right, yeah. 1270 00:54:57,620 --> 00:54:59,787 But I may not be a bad boy 1271 00:55:01,115 --> 00:55:04,776 in the traditional bad boy sense of the word. 1272 00:55:04,776 --> 00:55:05,798 But that doesn't mean 1273 00:55:05,798 --> 00:55:08,328 that I've never done anything bad before. 1274 00:55:08,328 --> 00:55:09,161 - Have you? 1275 00:55:09,161 --> 00:55:11,248 - Yeah, there's a lot of layers here. 1276 00:55:11,248 --> 00:55:12,107 We've been talking for what? 1277 00:55:12,107 --> 00:55:13,136 Like an hour? 1278 00:55:13,136 --> 00:55:15,598 That's barely scraping the surface of who I really am. 1279 00:55:15,598 --> 00:55:18,128 - All right, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. 1280 00:55:18,128 --> 00:55:21,348 How about you tell me something bad that you've done. 1281 00:55:21,348 --> 00:55:22,515 - Yes, gladly. 1282 00:55:24,819 --> 00:55:26,158 You mean now? 1283 00:55:26,158 --> 00:55:28,325 Okay, fine, something bad. 1284 00:55:31,618 --> 00:55:32,760 Okay, got it. 1285 00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,208 One nightstand, done it. 1286 00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:36,040 This guy, okay, boom! 1287 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:36,873 - Have you? 1288 00:55:36,873 --> 00:55:38,540 - Yes Casey, I have. 1289 00:55:40,399 --> 00:55:42,799 Can you just define exactly what nightstand means? 1290 00:55:47,070 --> 00:55:47,920 You wanna get your phone? 1291 00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,488 - Absolutely not, I'd rather stick with this. 1292 00:55:50,488 --> 00:55:51,321 - You can get it. 1293 00:55:51,321 --> 00:55:52,154 I don't mind if you get your phone. 1294 00:55:52,154 --> 00:55:52,987 - Yeah, see, that's what this amazing 1295 00:55:52,987 --> 00:55:54,510 new invention called "voicemail's" for. 1296 00:55:54,510 --> 00:55:56,470 Now, let me clarify. 1297 00:55:56,470 --> 00:55:57,600 Hey, It's Casey. 1298 00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,200 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1299 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,150 ♪ This is your bailout sweetie ♪ 1300 00:56:02,150 --> 00:56:05,430 ♪ Your bailout honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪ 1301 00:56:05,430 --> 00:56:07,462 ♪ And I'm getting your voicemail once again ♪ 1302 00:56:07,462 --> 00:56:09,942 ♪ What's the deal I mean it really call me back ♪ 1303 00:56:09,942 --> 00:56:13,851 ♪ Because I'm bored and I'm feeling totes ignored ♪ 1304 00:56:13,851 --> 00:56:16,090 ♪ Later slut ♪ 1305 00:56:16,090 --> 00:56:17,712 - My definition of a one night stand 1306 00:56:17,712 --> 00:56:20,392 is meeting some random girl in a bar, 1307 00:56:20,392 --> 00:56:23,352 having your way with her and then never seeing her again. 1308 00:56:23,352 --> 00:56:24,342 Is that what you did? 1309 00:56:24,342 --> 00:56:27,001 - No, no, not exactly. 1310 00:56:27,001 --> 00:56:28,959 - Who was she? 1311 00:56:28,959 --> 00:56:33,347 - She was my next door neighbor all of growing up. 1312 00:56:33,347 --> 00:56:37,570 But it affected our relationship in a bad way, so- 1313 00:56:37,570 --> 00:56:40,209 - Listen, Aaron, I appreciate the effort 1314 00:56:40,209 --> 00:56:44,039 but I think before this date goes any further, 1315 00:56:44,039 --> 00:56:45,359 I think we should just admit 1316 00:56:45,359 --> 00:56:48,776 that this is maybe not a love connection, 1317 00:56:51,028 --> 00:56:51,861 - But- - No, 1318 00:56:51,861 --> 00:56:54,358 you're really, really great guy. 1319 00:56:54,358 --> 00:56:56,700 And I think there's a perfect girl out there for you. 1320 00:56:56,700 --> 00:56:57,700 It's just... 1321 00:56:59,329 --> 00:57:04,306 What I'm trying to say is I really think we should be- 1322 00:57:04,306 --> 00:57:06,220 - Okay, sorry. 1323 00:57:06,220 --> 00:57:07,803 Hold on one second. 1324 00:57:08,798 --> 00:57:10,158 Did I miss something? 1325 00:57:10,158 --> 00:57:11,540 Because I was actually under the impression 1326 00:57:11,540 --> 00:57:13,723 that the state was going pretty well, 1327 00:57:13,723 --> 00:57:15,500 but now the meal, isn't it even here yet, 1328 00:57:15,500 --> 00:57:18,300 and she is about to put me smack dab 1329 00:57:18,300 --> 00:57:20,311 right in the middle of the friend-zone. 1330 00:57:20,311 --> 00:57:22,191 Do you have any idea what that means? 1331 00:57:22,191 --> 00:57:26,118 - The friend-zone is for platonic relationships only 1332 00:57:26,118 --> 00:57:26,951 no grouping. 1333 00:57:26,951 --> 00:57:27,784 - And here we go. 1334 00:57:27,784 --> 00:57:30,081 - The friend-zone is for last-minute party advice 1335 00:57:30,081 --> 00:57:32,380 because the guy she really likes can't make it. 1336 00:57:32,380 --> 00:57:33,799 No oral pleasure. 1337 00:57:33,799 --> 00:57:35,972 - How did I end up here? 1338 00:57:35,972 --> 00:57:39,618 Again, sure, maybe there were a few things 1339 00:57:39,618 --> 00:57:41,187 that I could've done differently. 1340 00:57:41,187 --> 00:57:44,860 But just to thrust me back into the- 1341 00:57:44,860 --> 00:57:47,500 - The friend-zone is for emotional support, 1342 00:57:47,500 --> 00:57:50,740 self-esteem boosting and torturous mind games, 1343 00:57:50,740 --> 00:57:51,990 no penetration. 1344 00:57:54,420 --> 00:57:56,756 - It just seems a little harsh, right? 1345 00:57:56,756 --> 00:57:58,423 I just don't get it. 1346 00:57:59,303 --> 00:58:02,220 I'm always destined to be that guy, 1347 00:58:03,792 --> 00:58:07,959 sweet, the ever faithful, loyal, dependable buddy. 1348 00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:14,440 Dear God, I'm not a man, I'm a fuckin' puppy. 1349 00:58:19,531 --> 00:58:22,031 - I'm sorry, what did you say? 1350 00:58:23,161 --> 00:58:24,321 You just wanna be my- 1351 00:58:24,321 --> 00:58:27,571 - Friend, I think we should be friends. 1352 00:58:31,023 --> 00:58:34,856 - Uh, no, thank you for that kind offer Casey. 1353 00:58:38,220 --> 00:58:41,353 It's a lot to think about, so thank you 1354 00:58:41,353 --> 00:58:44,113 because who doesn't need more friends, right? 1355 00:58:44,113 --> 00:58:48,530 'Cause friends are the flowers in the garden of life. 1356 00:58:52,633 --> 00:58:57,633 So let's just plant the seed of friendship and see how it... 1357 00:58:58,561 --> 00:59:00,467 Can you just excuse me for one second, 1358 00:59:00,467 --> 00:59:02,228 I'm gonna go to the bathroom 1359 00:59:02,228 --> 00:59:05,978 and try and drown myself in the urinal, okay. 1360 00:59:12,378 --> 00:59:15,468 - So tell me, how's it feel being a relationship assassin? 1361 00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:17,016 - Lauren, give it a rest. 1362 00:59:17,016 --> 00:59:18,716 - I just don't understand, 1363 00:59:18,716 --> 00:59:21,146 you claim to want what Kevin and I have, 1364 00:59:21,146 --> 00:59:22,475 but when you find a guy 1365 00:59:22,475 --> 00:59:24,578 who could actually give you all those same things, 1366 00:59:24,578 --> 00:59:26,666 you totally sabotage it. 1367 00:59:26,666 --> 00:59:28,815 - I know, I have a problem. 1368 00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:30,708 - You really do. 1369 00:59:30,708 --> 00:59:32,708 What does your therapist say about this? 1370 00:59:32,708 --> 00:59:34,119 - Blah, blah, blah. 1371 00:59:34,119 --> 00:59:36,567 Blah, blah, blah, fear of commitment. 1372 00:59:36,567 --> 00:59:38,026 - Can you be a little more specific? 1373 00:59:38,026 --> 00:59:40,298 - Not really 'cause that's pretty much exactly 1374 00:59:40,298 --> 00:59:43,087 what I hear in my head every time I talk to him. 1375 00:59:43,087 --> 00:59:45,178 - Okay, then just talk to me. 1376 00:59:45,178 --> 00:59:47,138 I'm your sister, and even I don't get it. 1377 00:59:47,138 --> 00:59:48,314 - Get what Lauren? 1378 00:59:48,314 --> 00:59:50,428 - These walls you put up. 1379 00:59:50,428 --> 00:59:52,628 We're family and I can't even begin to break 1380 00:59:52,628 --> 00:59:54,098 through this hard exterior of yours. 1381 00:59:54,098 --> 00:59:55,498 - Well, keeping you at arms length. 1382 00:59:55,498 --> 00:59:58,396 I do consider one of my most crowning achievements. 1383 00:59:58,396 --> 01:00:00,898 - Joke, all you want, we both know all this bravado 1384 01:00:00,898 --> 01:00:03,607 is really just you being afraid of getting hurt. 1385 01:00:03,607 --> 01:00:06,098 I mean, let's be honest. 1386 01:00:06,098 --> 01:00:08,835 The same thing that happened with your photography show. 1387 01:00:08,835 --> 01:00:10,607 - It wasn't ready. 1388 01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:12,524 - No, you weren't ready 1389 01:00:14,458 --> 01:00:17,056 'Case you had all these amazing photos 1390 01:00:17,056 --> 01:00:19,966 and a gallery that was willing to exhibit anything 1391 01:00:19,966 --> 01:00:21,674 you wanted to give them. 1392 01:00:21,674 --> 01:00:24,738 And right at the last second, you backed out. 1393 01:00:24,738 --> 01:00:29,108 It's the same thing with every single guy in your life. 1394 01:00:29,108 --> 01:00:33,268 There's always some reason or another lame excuse 1395 01:00:33,268 --> 01:00:36,125 as to why things don't work out over and over- 1396 01:00:36,125 --> 01:00:38,287 - Okay, Lauren, I get it. 1397 01:00:49,964 --> 01:00:54,964 ♪ I know that I have issues I face them I swear ♪ 1398 01:00:56,228 --> 01:01:01,228 ♪ Think I overcome them then turn they're still there ♪ 1399 01:01:01,887 --> 01:01:03,828 ♪ Wish that I was different ♪ 1400 01:01:03,828 --> 01:01:07,116 ♪ I'd like to let go ♪ 1401 01:01:07,116 --> 01:01:12,116 ♪ But when I try to change there's my past saying no ♪ 1402 01:01:12,338 --> 01:01:15,218 ♪ Maybe it's all 'cause of dad his new kids ♪ 1403 01:01:15,218 --> 01:01:19,087 ♪ His new wife or why not just blame mom ♪ 1404 01:01:19,087 --> 01:01:24,087 ♪ Who's been nuts my whole life ♪ 1405 01:01:24,615 --> 01:01:29,007 ♪ When you've felt so alone since the moment of birth ♪ 1406 01:01:29,007 --> 01:01:30,596 ♪ And you've struggled to find ♪ 1407 01:01:30,596 --> 01:01:33,127 ♪ Your own true sense of worth ♪ 1408 01:01:33,127 --> 01:01:37,628 ♪ When it seems there is no one across this whole earth ♪ 1409 01:01:37,628 --> 01:01:41,018 ♪ To depend upon you carry on ♪ 1410 01:01:41,018 --> 01:01:46,018 ♪ Just like you always do ♪ 1411 01:01:46,076 --> 01:01:49,687 ♪ 'Cause it's safer ♪ 1412 01:01:49,687 --> 01:01:52,636 ♪ To rely on you ♪ 1413 01:01:52,636 --> 01:01:56,553 ♪ Oh it's safer to rely on you ♪ 1414 01:02:06,348 --> 01:02:10,647 ♪ Seen a million movies all selling true love ♪ 1415 01:02:10,647 --> 01:02:14,874 ♪ Fantasies I'm not sure that I'm worthy of ♪ 1416 01:02:14,874 --> 01:02:18,887 ♪ Caution to the wind my heart's been on display ♪ 1417 01:02:18,887 --> 01:02:23,127 ♪ Still the end result is it's not gone my way ♪ 1418 01:02:23,127 --> 01:02:27,658 ♪ So when I date some new guy who's a deadbeat or jerk ♪ 1419 01:02:27,658 --> 01:02:32,658 ♪ At least I'm not so crushed when it all doesn't work ♪ 1420 01:02:34,646 --> 01:02:36,738 ♪ When you once, unafraid ♪ 1421 01:02:36,738 --> 01:02:38,967 ♪ Wore your heart on your sleeve ♪ 1422 01:02:38,967 --> 01:02:43,028 ♪ And the ones that you loved chose to just turn and leave ♪ 1423 01:02:43,028 --> 01:02:47,228 ♪ Every day it gets harder to somehow believe ♪ 1424 01:02:47,228 --> 01:02:50,596 ♪ You will survive so you strive ♪ 1425 01:02:50,596 --> 01:02:55,314 ♪ Just to keep up your guard ♪ 1426 01:02:55,314 --> 01:03:00,314 ♪ 'Cause it's safer to hold every card ♪ 1427 01:03:01,614 --> 01:03:06,614 ♪ Oh it's safer to hold every card ♪ 1428 01:03:09,806 --> 01:03:12,285 ♪ Are you out of control ♪ 1429 01:03:12,285 --> 01:03:14,245 ♪ I feel safe on the ground ♪ 1430 01:03:14,245 --> 01:03:18,662 ♪ I go building up walls yet I wish to be found ♪ 1431 01:03:18,662 --> 01:03:23,662 ♪ A true contradiction to which I am bound ♪ 1432 01:03:24,616 --> 01:03:28,536 ♪ As I keep on spinning around and around ♪ 1433 01:03:28,536 --> 01:03:32,675 ♪ And I look at the people who've worked it all out ♪ 1434 01:03:32,675 --> 01:03:36,584 ♪ And I wonder why I'm still a bundle of doubt ♪ 1435 01:03:36,584 --> 01:03:40,763 ♪ And sometimes I wanna just stand up and shout ♪ 1436 01:03:40,763 --> 01:03:43,936 ♪ Just commit and deal with it ♪ 1437 01:03:43,936 --> 01:03:47,944 ♪ Before your life flies by ♪ 1438 01:03:47,944 --> 01:03:51,694 ♪ Don't let your life fly by ♪ 1439 01:04:00,035 --> 01:04:05,035 ♪ But is it safer ♪ 1440 01:04:06,696 --> 01:04:11,696 ♪ Maybe it's safer ♪ 1441 01:04:14,064 --> 01:04:16,814 ♪ If I don't try ♪ 1442 01:04:34,275 --> 01:04:35,108 Hey, you're back? 1443 01:04:35,108 --> 01:04:35,941 - Yeah, I'm. 1444 01:04:35,941 --> 01:04:37,035 But you know what? 1445 01:04:37,035 --> 01:04:38,864 Not for long, I'm gonna head out. 1446 01:04:38,864 --> 01:04:40,984 - Dinner hasn't come yet. 1447 01:04:40,984 --> 01:04:42,336 - Yeah, I know friend, 1448 01:04:42,336 --> 01:04:45,125 but no, it's getting kinda late friend. 1449 01:04:45,125 --> 01:04:47,696 So I'm just gonna skedaddle out of here. 1450 01:04:47,696 --> 01:04:48,529 - Okay, I get it. 1451 01:04:48,529 --> 01:04:49,485 You're a little mad at me right now. 1452 01:04:49,485 --> 01:04:51,016 - No, no, no, no, I'm not mad at you 1453 01:04:51,016 --> 01:04:54,843 because friends don't get mad at friends, friend. 1454 01:04:54,843 --> 01:04:57,536 So I'm just trying to process 1455 01:04:57,536 --> 01:05:01,405 and adjust to this new form of friendship. 1456 01:05:01,405 --> 01:05:04,444 So I just feel like I need to do that by myself. 1457 01:05:04,444 --> 01:05:06,035 That's all Friend-o. 1458 01:05:06,035 --> 01:05:10,045 - Yeah, fine, great, let's get the bill. 1459 01:05:10,045 --> 01:05:14,216 - Finally, something we can agree on, Mazel Tov. 1460 01:05:14,216 --> 01:05:16,667 All right, if only we could find that frickin' waiter. 1461 01:05:16,667 --> 01:05:18,008 'Cause he's always here, 1462 01:05:18,008 --> 01:05:21,008 apart from when we need him, friend. 1463 01:05:23,557 --> 01:05:26,368 Thank you 1464 01:05:26,368 --> 01:05:29,779 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 1465 01:05:29,779 --> 01:05:33,008 please sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. 1466 01:05:33,008 --> 01:05:34,258 Sit, thank you. 1467 01:05:36,496 --> 01:05:39,696 Now as some of the regulars here already know 1468 01:05:39,696 --> 01:05:44,517 I do a little writing and performing on the side. 1469 01:05:44,517 --> 01:05:46,265 Very little. 1470 01:05:46,265 --> 01:05:47,976 That's why I've been stuck in this rat hole 1471 01:05:47,976 --> 01:05:50,507 for way too long. 1472 01:05:50,507 --> 01:05:52,126 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 1473 01:05:52,126 --> 01:05:54,187 There are no rats. 1474 01:05:54,187 --> 01:05:57,757 We use them all in the bolognese, 1475 01:05:57,757 --> 01:05:59,257 I'm still kidding. 1476 01:06:01,678 --> 01:06:05,597 Still, if you'd indulge me for the next few minutes 1477 01:06:05,597 --> 01:06:10,597 I'd like to share with you my latest musical extravaganza. 1478 01:06:11,096 --> 01:06:12,929 Hit the lights, Jorge. 1479 01:06:15,568 --> 01:06:20,485 This goes out to all the lover and future lovers out there. 1480 01:06:20,485 --> 01:06:22,664 I'm looking at you table four. 1481 01:06:22,664 --> 01:06:23,664 - Oh my God. 1482 01:06:25,595 --> 01:06:26,696 - Sweet Jesus. 1483 01:06:26,696 --> 01:06:29,584 - That was my Nathan lane. 1484 01:06:29,584 --> 01:06:32,584 Okay. 1485 01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:51,000 ♪ I made my career as a waiter ♪ 1486 01:06:51,789 --> 01:06:56,229 ♪ And my job well it never gets old ♪ 1487 01:06:56,229 --> 01:07:01,229 ♪ I've seen romances bloom wild affairs meet their doom ♪ 1488 01:07:01,501 --> 01:07:06,171 ♪ Every night some new sight to behold ♪ 1489 01:07:06,171 --> 01:07:11,171 ♪ Yet I find as I wait on my tables ♪ 1490 01:07:13,589 --> 01:07:18,221 ♪ And serve them their baskets of bread ♪ 1491 01:07:18,221 --> 01:07:20,700 ♪ I can't help but think ♪ 1492 01:07:20,700 --> 01:07:25,700 ♪ As they pick out a drink of what I would order instead ♪ 1493 01:07:37,931 --> 01:07:42,931 ♪ I'd order love delicious well-seasoned and rare ♪ 1494 01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:50,229 ♪ I'd order love a big enough portion to share ♪ 1495 01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:53,901 ♪ Bring me all of the heartache ♪ 1496 01:07:53,901 --> 01:07:55,589 ♪ A small side of woe ♪ 1497 01:07:55,589 --> 01:07:58,960 ♪ That flavor of longing that I long to know ♪ 1498 01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:00,669 ♪ I don't need a menu ♪ 1499 01:08:00,669 --> 01:08:05,469 ♪ Just someone to care for my heart ♪ 1500 01:08:05,469 --> 01:08:10,469 ♪ Yes I'd order love there's no better dish to start ♪ 1501 01:08:12,780 --> 01:08:17,780 ♪ I'd order love that's spicy and steaming and hot ♪ 1502 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:22,949 ♪ Oh I'd order love so juicy it just hits the spot ♪ 1503 01:08:22,949 --> 01:08:25,290 ♪ Bada bada pa pa pa ♪ 1504 01:08:25,290 --> 01:08:29,221 ♪ I crave nights full of passion all drizzled with lust ♪ 1505 01:08:29,221 --> 01:08:32,411 ♪ Breakfast in bed is an absolute must ♪ 1506 01:08:32,411 --> 01:08:34,141 ♪ Then bring on the marriage ♪ 1507 01:08:34,141 --> 01:08:38,891 ♪ But don't top it off with divorce ♪ 1508 01:08:38,891 --> 01:08:40,771 ♪ Yes I'd order love ♪ 1509 01:08:40,771 --> 01:08:45,771 ♪ It's the very best second course ♪ 1510 01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:49,341 ♪ I'm tired of always observing ♪ 1511 01:08:49,341 --> 01:08:53,080 ♪ Loving couples all dreamy and sweet ♪ 1512 01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:56,229 ♪ For years I've been patiently waiting ♪ 1513 01:08:56,229 --> 01:09:00,038 ♪ When's it gonna be my time to eat ♪ 1514 01:09:00,038 --> 01:09:05,038 ♪ This lack of attention's unnerving ♪ 1515 01:09:05,290 --> 01:09:10,290 ♪ I fear that I'm losing my grip ♪ 1516 01:09:10,349 --> 01:09:11,678 ♪ If cupid keeps up ♪ 1517 01:09:11,678 --> 01:09:16,678 ♪ This substandard service I'm screwing him out of his tip ♪ 1518 01:09:17,027 --> 01:09:22,027 ♪ He don't get no tip ♪ 1519 01:09:22,141 --> 01:09:25,371 ♪ Big finish ♪ 1520 01:09:25,371 --> 01:09:30,371 ♪ I'd order love appetizer main course and dessert ♪ 1521 01:09:30,771 --> 01:09:33,460 ♪ More lights Jorge ♪ 1522 01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:37,240 ♪ Yeah I'd order love even if it was peppered ♪ 1523 01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:40,491 ♪ With hurt ♪ 1524 01:09:40,491 --> 01:09:42,581 ♪ 'Cause at least I could savor ♪ 1525 01:09:42,581 --> 01:09:45,829 ♪ The way that it feels to not eat alone ♪ 1526 01:09:45,829 --> 01:09:47,541 ♪ For each one of my meals ♪ 1527 01:09:47,541 --> 01:09:49,411 ♪ There's a lot on the menu ♪ 1528 01:09:49,411 --> 01:09:54,181 ♪ I'd have something else if I could ♪ 1529 01:09:54,181 --> 01:09:57,811 ♪ But I'd order love 'cause there's nothing else ♪ 1530 01:09:57,811 --> 01:10:02,811 ♪ On earth that tastes so good ♪ 1531 01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:09,091 ♪ Oh it tastes so good ♪ 1532 01:10:09,091 --> 01:10:12,381 ♪ Oh so very good ♪ 1533 01:10:12,381 --> 01:10:15,214 ♪ So good so good ♪ 1534 01:10:20,901 --> 01:10:23,763 - Well, that wasn't too awkward. 1535 01:10:23,763 --> 01:10:25,669 Kinda like when my dad chaperoned the sock Hop 1536 01:10:25,669 --> 01:10:29,760 in Junior High and forced me to slow-dance with him. 1537 01:10:31,776 --> 01:10:32,987 Oh, you think that's funny. 1538 01:10:32,987 --> 01:10:36,296 Oh yeah, great, I'm glad I amuse you. 1539 01:10:36,296 --> 01:10:39,713 - Here we go, one chop salad for the lady 1540 01:10:41,544 --> 01:10:44,333 and one manly burger for the gentleman. 1541 01:10:44,333 --> 01:10:45,672 - Yeah, thank you, but actually, you know what? 1542 01:10:45,672 --> 01:10:46,571 I don't think we're good. 1543 01:10:46,571 --> 01:10:48,863 - Okay, I think you're being a little over-dramatic. 1544 01:10:48,863 --> 01:10:52,030 The food's here, I think we can enjoy one meal together. 1545 01:10:55,453 --> 01:10:58,286 - Fine, fine, one very quick meal. 1546 01:11:00,173 --> 01:11:01,423 - Bon appetite. 1547 01:11:07,341 --> 01:11:10,971 - So BDS, what are we supposed to talk about now? 1548 01:11:10,971 --> 01:11:12,542 - What do you mean? 1549 01:11:12,542 --> 01:11:15,312 - I just mean, usually on your other blind dates, 1550 01:11:15,312 --> 01:11:16,632 once you've destroyed guy's spirit 1551 01:11:16,632 --> 01:11:19,464 and then question your overall attraction to the man 1552 01:11:19,464 --> 01:11:21,083 and then let them know in no uncertain terms 1553 01:11:21,083 --> 01:11:22,413 that they do not have a snowball's chance 1554 01:11:22,413 --> 01:11:23,904 in hell of hooking up with you. 1555 01:11:23,904 --> 01:11:24,744 What do you talk about next? 1556 01:11:24,744 --> 01:11:26,272 - All right. - The weather? 1557 01:11:26,272 --> 01:11:29,471 - All right, the way I see it is you have two options. 1558 01:11:29,471 --> 01:11:31,643 You can sit here and be angry guy 1559 01:11:31,643 --> 01:11:33,483 for the rest of the meal 1560 01:11:33,483 --> 01:11:36,213 or you can turn that frown upside down 1561 01:11:36,213 --> 01:11:38,213 and take advantage of this golden opportunity. 1562 01:11:38,213 --> 01:11:40,163 - Oh, this golden, what golden opportunity 1563 01:11:40,163 --> 01:11:41,624 are you talking about exactly, uh? 1564 01:11:41,624 --> 01:11:44,304 - I apologize if my obvious lack of tact 1565 01:11:44,304 --> 01:11:46,422 and blunt, honesty offended you. 1566 01:11:46,422 --> 01:11:50,772 But, I happen to know lots of single eligible, 1567 01:11:50,772 --> 01:11:52,551 attractive women. 1568 01:11:52,551 --> 01:11:53,803 And if you play your cards right, 1569 01:11:53,803 --> 01:11:56,563 I could be the one who sets you up for your soulmate. 1570 01:11:56,563 --> 01:11:59,146 - She has lots of single women. 1571 01:12:01,449 --> 01:12:02,569 - You know lots of single women? 1572 01:12:02,569 --> 01:12:06,931 - Tons of 'em and they're crawling all over the city. 1573 01:12:06,931 --> 01:12:08,531 - Okay, fine, yeah, really, I mean 1574 01:12:08,531 --> 01:12:12,112 maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. 1575 01:12:12,112 --> 01:12:14,672 I see we go over this like we just met, right? 1576 01:12:14,672 --> 01:12:16,563 There's no history here, we got nothing, right? 1577 01:12:16,563 --> 01:12:20,646 So if it's not you or me, then maybe it's me and- 1578 01:12:21,712 --> 01:12:23,295 - Countless others. 1579 01:12:27,542 --> 01:12:30,542 - Okay, okay, okay, I'm game, right? 1580 01:12:31,652 --> 01:12:33,681 Who do you got in mind? 1581 01:12:33,681 --> 01:12:34,751 - Well, it depends what's your type? 1582 01:12:34,751 --> 01:12:38,668 - I don't know, not too specific, maybe just... 1583 01:12:42,914 --> 01:12:45,912 ♪ Five foot six with a great complexion ♪ 1584 01:12:45,912 --> 01:12:49,141 ♪ Hazel eyes you get lost in for days ♪ 1585 01:12:49,141 --> 01:12:52,501 ♪ Chestnut hair halfway down the back ♪ 1586 01:12:52,501 --> 01:12:56,093 ♪ Slender figure with breasts that amaze ♪ 1587 01:12:56,093 --> 01:12:59,600 ♪ Just the slightest hint of a dimple ♪ 1588 01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:02,871 ♪ Pouty lips with a lily white smile ♪ 1589 01:13:02,871 --> 01:13:07,871 ♪ Tiny birthmark below the right shoulder ♪ 1590 01:13:08,672 --> 01:13:10,952 ♪ And a manic-depressive demanding ♪ 1591 01:13:10,952 --> 01:13:15,752 ♪ Emasculating ball-busting beast from hell ♪ 1592 01:13:15,752 --> 01:13:18,323 Didn't I tell you to leave Allison out of this? 1593 01:13:18,323 --> 01:13:21,061 - Okay, right, yes, you're right, sorry. 1594 01:13:21,061 --> 01:13:25,501 Moment of weakness, won't happen again. 1595 01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:27,800 You know what, I'm not picky, you decide. 1596 01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:30,472 - Okay, so do you want a good girl 1597 01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,072 who you can take home to mom and dad 1598 01:13:32,072 --> 01:13:35,272 or do you want a more adventurous rebellious girl 1599 01:13:35,272 --> 01:13:37,483 who's definitely way more fun in the sack. 1600 01:13:37,483 --> 01:13:39,592 - Oh, wow, you know what? 1601 01:13:39,592 --> 01:13:41,821 I think Dad would be thrilled with either at this point. 1602 01:13:41,821 --> 01:13:44,141 - But what about mom? 1603 01:13:44,141 --> 01:13:45,213 - That's hard to say. 1604 01:13:46,101 --> 01:13:49,293 - Oh, why, will you always be her adorable widdle boy 1605 01:13:49,293 --> 01:13:51,613 and no girl will ever be good enough for you? 1606 01:13:51,613 --> 01:13:52,933 - Nope, it's not that- 1607 01:13:52,933 --> 01:13:54,101 - Could you not let you go? 1608 01:13:54,101 --> 01:13:56,693 Is she one of those overbearing Jewish mothers who just- 1609 01:13:56,693 --> 01:13:59,232 - My mom is dead Casey. 1610 01:13:59,232 --> 01:14:02,741 She passed away when I was in 10th grade 1611 01:14:02,741 --> 01:14:05,272 before that she was so driven 1612 01:14:05,272 --> 01:14:09,471 and career obsessed that I hardly ever saw her. 1613 01:14:09,471 --> 01:14:12,192 - Wow, I feel like a total jerk. 1614 01:14:12,192 --> 01:14:14,392 - Oh no, no, no, it's fine. 1615 01:14:14,392 --> 01:14:16,704 - I guess I just assumed that- 1616 01:14:16,704 --> 01:14:19,053 - What, that I came from some perfect drama-free home? 1617 01:14:19,053 --> 01:14:22,731 Yeah, I've been picking up on that. 1618 01:14:22,731 --> 01:14:23,871 - So how did... 1619 01:14:23,871 --> 01:14:26,632 Sorry, do you mind talking about this stuff? 1620 01:14:26,632 --> 01:14:29,093 - Oh, it's not really first date material, 1621 01:14:29,093 --> 01:14:29,932 is it now, Casey? 1622 01:14:29,932 --> 01:14:32,600 But hey, since we're no longer on first date, 1623 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,011 it's ripe for discussion. 1624 01:14:35,011 --> 01:14:36,344 - What happened? 1625 01:14:41,013 --> 01:14:43,846 - Well, she was born with a defect 1626 01:14:45,191 --> 01:14:47,752 in one of the valves in her heart 1627 01:14:47,752 --> 01:14:49,533 which most people can live with their entire lives 1628 01:14:49,533 --> 01:14:53,339 but she had a pretty stressful demanding job 1629 01:14:53,339 --> 01:14:54,741 with a law firm, 1630 01:14:54,741 --> 01:14:58,701 which probably definitely made it worse. 1631 01:14:58,701 --> 01:15:00,722 And then by the time that she started showing symptoms 1632 01:15:00,722 --> 01:15:02,621 it was pretty severe. 1633 01:15:02,621 --> 01:15:05,581 So they rushed her for emergency surgery 1634 01:15:05,581 --> 01:15:09,664 and I guess there were a few complications and... 1635 01:15:14,911 --> 01:15:16,232 And why am I telling you this? 1636 01:15:16,232 --> 01:15:17,693 - Because I'm a good listener. 1637 01:15:17,693 --> 01:15:19,300 And if I haven't shown it tonight, 1638 01:15:19,300 --> 01:15:20,361 the dark secret about me 1639 01:15:20,361 --> 01:15:23,361 is that I'm actually very sensitive. 1640 01:15:25,232 --> 01:15:26,912 Did you get to say goodbye? 1641 01:15:26,912 --> 01:15:28,245 - Yeah, briefly. 1642 01:15:29,601 --> 01:15:31,493 But it was at the hospital. 1643 01:15:31,493 --> 01:15:36,493 So it was rushed and we didn't know what was gonna happen. 1644 01:15:36,972 --> 01:15:37,952 You know what the crazy part? 1645 01:15:37,952 --> 01:15:39,771 Is that a couple of days later 1646 01:15:39,771 --> 01:15:42,703 I was going through my sock drawer looking 1647 01:15:42,703 --> 01:15:45,474 for a matching pair socks to wear to the funeral 1648 01:15:45,474 --> 01:15:49,224 and I found a letter that she had written me, 1649 01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:53,474 right before she left for the hospital. 1650 01:15:53,474 --> 01:15:55,584 She must have thought that there's a chance 1651 01:15:55,584 --> 01:15:59,033 that she wasn't coming back, so- 1652 01:15:59,033 --> 01:16:00,261 - What did the letter say? 1653 01:16:15,962 --> 01:16:20,962 ♪ It isn't easy to express what I feel inside ♪ 1654 01:16:24,801 --> 01:16:29,801 ♪ But that shouldn't come as a surprise to you ♪ 1655 01:16:32,592 --> 01:16:37,053 ♪ Haven't been the perfect mom ♪ 1656 01:16:37,053 --> 01:16:41,032 ♪ But please know that I tried ♪ 1657 01:16:41,032 --> 01:16:44,541 ♪ I did the best I could ♪ 1658 01:16:44,541 --> 01:16:49,541 ♪ And that's the best that I could do ♪ 1659 01:16:50,093 --> 01:16:55,093 ♪ Now facing a future that's uncertain ♪ 1660 01:16:58,421 --> 01:17:03,421 ♪ I cannot say what lies ahead ♪ 1661 01:17:05,351 --> 01:17:09,253 ♪ But I won't give up I'll face my fears ♪ 1662 01:17:09,253 --> 01:17:13,002 ♪ And fight back years of uncried tears ♪ 1663 01:17:13,002 --> 01:17:17,919 ♪ And tell you all the things I never said ♪ 1664 01:17:26,503 --> 01:17:31,503 ♪ All of the hours spent at work consumed by my career ♪ 1665 01:17:34,413 --> 01:17:39,413 ♪ I wouldn't blame you if you thought I didn't care ♪ 1666 01:17:42,304 --> 01:17:47,304 ♪ Graduations that I missed all the games I didn't cheer ♪ 1667 01:17:50,030 --> 01:17:53,362 ♪ I never told you then ♪ 1668 01:17:53,362 --> 01:17:58,362 ♪ But how I wanted to be there ♪ 1669 01:17:58,701 --> 01:18:03,701 ♪ As thoughts of the past run through my memory ♪ 1670 01:18:06,421 --> 01:18:11,421 ♪ The choices I've made the life I've led ♪ 1671 01:18:13,259 --> 01:18:17,187 ♪ An office on the highest floor ♪ 1672 01:18:17,187 --> 01:18:20,797 ♪ It meant so much but you mean more ♪ 1673 01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:25,797 ♪ That's one of many things ♪ 1674 01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:34,960 ♪ So much in my life I took for granted ♪ 1675 01:18:38,423 --> 01:18:43,423 ♪ Like tucking my children into bed ♪ 1676 01:18:45,490 --> 01:18:49,200 ♪ My world was always spinning fast ♪ 1677 01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:52,938 ♪ Then in an instant years had passed ♪ 1678 01:18:52,938 --> 01:18:57,938 ♪ And here I sit with so much left unsaid ♪ 1679 01:19:01,949 --> 01:19:06,949 ♪ I've always lived a world apart ♪ 1680 01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:13,520 ♪ But through it all you were my heart ♪ 1681 01:19:15,498 --> 01:19:19,480 ♪ That's one of many things ♪ 1682 01:19:19,480 --> 01:19:22,730 ♪ Of oh so many things ♪ 1683 01:19:38,360 --> 01:19:40,130 ♪ I never said ♪ 1684 01:19:51,349 --> 01:19:56,178 - I don't wanna make the same mistakes my mum did, Casey. 1685 01:19:56,178 --> 01:19:58,960 I won't make the same mistake she did. 1686 01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,160 - What about this whole getup? 1687 01:20:00,160 --> 01:20:01,557 All the hard work, 1688 01:20:01,557 --> 01:20:03,360 it sounds like you're doing the exact same thing. 1689 01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:07,527 - Nope, nah, I don't care about any of that stuff. 1690 01:20:08,618 --> 01:20:12,577 None of any of this, that's just my job. 1691 01:20:12,577 --> 01:20:13,827 That is not me. 1692 01:20:17,645 --> 01:20:20,138 I just wanna learn as much money as I can now 1693 01:20:20,138 --> 01:20:22,147 so that I do not have to miss out on anything like that. 1694 01:20:26,335 --> 01:20:27,816 You're pretty popular tonight, uh? 1695 01:20:27,816 --> 01:20:28,684 Get it, please, I don't mind. 1696 01:20:28,684 --> 01:20:29,867 - No. - No, go. 1697 01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:30,700 - Not at all. 1698 01:20:34,587 --> 01:20:36,456 Hey, it's Casey. 1699 01:20:36,456 --> 01:20:39,106 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1700 01:20:39,106 --> 01:20:41,997 ♪ This is your bailout sweetie your bailout ♪ 1701 01:20:41,997 --> 01:20:44,296 ♪ Honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪ 1702 01:20:44,296 --> 01:20:46,484 ♪ And you're still aren't answering your phone ♪ 1703 01:20:46,484 --> 01:20:49,256 ♪ Now I'm pissed I mean really ♪ 1704 01:20:49,256 --> 01:20:50,627 - Wait, hold on. 1705 01:20:50,627 --> 01:20:53,210 Stop the music, stop the music! 1706 01:20:54,526 --> 01:20:56,766 I don't wanna sing anymore. 1707 01:20:56,766 --> 01:20:57,787 Okay, shit. 1708 01:20:57,787 --> 01:20:58,686 Listen up bitch. 1709 01:20:58,686 --> 01:20:59,627 What's the deal? 1710 01:20:59,627 --> 01:21:02,686 'Cause this is like my third unreturned phone call tonight 1711 01:21:02,686 --> 01:21:04,616 which is starting to make me seem desperate. 1712 01:21:04,616 --> 01:21:07,078 And Reggie doesn't do desperates. 1713 01:21:07,078 --> 01:21:09,638 I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but did we not agree 1714 01:21:09,638 --> 01:21:12,936 when we met doing karaoke and bonding over, 1715 01:21:12,936 --> 01:21:14,656 "Love is a battlefield" 1716 01:21:14,656 --> 01:21:17,568 that we would be best friends forever? 1717 01:21:17,568 --> 01:21:19,878 Well, I'm pretty sure BFFs pick up the phone 1718 01:21:19,878 --> 01:21:22,467 when the other BFF calls, right? 1719 01:21:22,467 --> 01:21:23,867 I mean, What's going on? 1720 01:21:23,867 --> 01:21:26,536 One date and you're already choosing him over me! 1721 01:21:26,536 --> 01:21:29,038 Could it really be going that well? 1722 01:21:29,038 --> 01:21:33,118 Or did he shove you into the back of his creepy white van 1723 01:21:33,118 --> 01:21:34,506 and your phone's lying in a ditch 1724 01:21:34,506 --> 01:21:36,848 at the side of the road somewhere? 1725 01:21:36,848 --> 01:21:38,758 Oh my God, you're not dead, are you? 1726 01:21:38,758 --> 01:21:41,341 Oh my God, you're totally dead. 1727 01:21:42,358 --> 01:21:44,728 It seems to me, we have two options here, 1728 01:21:44,728 --> 01:21:47,288 either A you're having a wonderful time 1729 01:21:47,288 --> 01:21:50,774 and purposely choosing to ignore the real love of your life, 1730 01:21:50,774 --> 01:21:53,008 or B you're totally dead 1731 01:21:53,008 --> 01:21:54,387 and he's making a dress out of your skin 1732 01:21:54,387 --> 01:21:56,696 at this very moment. 1733 01:21:56,696 --> 01:21:59,518 Either way, you've left me with no other option 1734 01:21:59,518 --> 01:22:02,056 but to come to the restaurant. 1735 01:22:02,056 --> 01:22:05,747 So just to wrap up, I hope you're alive. 1736 01:22:05,747 --> 01:22:07,598 And I very much look forward to the scene 1737 01:22:07,598 --> 01:22:09,667 that I'm about to cause. 1738 01:22:09,667 --> 01:22:11,334 Oh, and later skank. 1739 01:22:13,786 --> 01:22:16,846 - All right, okay, you can stop staring at me 1740 01:22:16,846 --> 01:22:18,736 with your mouth hung up open like that, all right? 1741 01:22:18,736 --> 01:22:21,056 You're starting to make me feel like a freak. 1742 01:22:21,056 --> 01:22:25,267 No, it's just, I'm rarely surprised by somebody 1743 01:22:25,267 --> 01:22:28,336 and you just totally surprised me. 1744 01:22:28,336 --> 01:22:30,158 - Why, 'cause my mom died? 1745 01:22:30,158 --> 01:22:32,016 Let me tell you, that is nothing, all right? 1746 01:22:32,016 --> 01:22:33,798 Wait until you hear about my new just uncle Harry 1747 01:22:33,798 --> 01:22:34,696 and my kleptomania cousin, Carol, 1748 01:22:34,696 --> 01:22:36,616 because them, some stories. 1749 01:22:37,486 --> 01:22:42,486 - No, I'm surprised by how open and honest you just were. 1750 01:22:42,996 --> 01:22:46,886 Most people build up walls and are not like that. 1751 01:22:46,886 --> 01:22:51,553 - Yeah, well, I told you I'm an open book, wasn't lying. 1752 01:22:53,267 --> 01:22:54,358 How's the salad? 1753 01:22:54,358 --> 01:22:56,066 - Oh, good, yeah. 1754 01:22:56,066 --> 01:22:56,899 You want a bite? 1755 01:22:56,899 --> 01:22:59,568 - Yeah, sure, you want a bite of this? 1756 01:22:59,568 --> 01:23:00,401 - All right, yeah. 1757 01:23:00,401 --> 01:23:02,889 - All right, cool, get in there. 1758 01:23:02,889 --> 01:23:04,947 Take that, I'm gonna do this. 1759 01:23:04,947 --> 01:23:08,316 That's coming in here, a little coming. 1760 01:23:08,316 --> 01:23:10,399 Oh good, very, very good. 1761 01:23:11,768 --> 01:23:13,475 Wanna do a little swapsies? 1762 01:23:13,475 --> 01:23:15,744 - I'm game if you're. 1763 01:23:15,744 --> 01:23:18,787 - Game on, let's do it Put this here, give me your fork. 1764 01:23:18,787 --> 01:23:21,974 And I'm gonna steal this little pickle spear 1765 01:23:21,974 --> 01:23:24,307 and I'll show you what I do. 1766 01:23:25,782 --> 01:23:30,199 - Am I going crazy, or am I starting to dig this guy? 1767 01:23:32,307 --> 01:23:34,384 And don't say it's because he played the dead mom card 1768 01:23:34,384 --> 01:23:37,894 'cause I really don't think that's it. 1769 01:23:37,894 --> 01:23:41,078 Believe me I'm starting to like puke in my mouth 1770 01:23:41,078 --> 01:23:44,016 as I say this but I actually think 1771 01:23:44,016 --> 01:23:46,136 he's got a really good heart. 1772 01:23:46,136 --> 01:23:50,136 And despite his obvious lack of bad boy standing 1773 01:23:51,158 --> 01:23:53,158 there's a definite charm 1774 01:23:54,606 --> 01:23:57,939 and strangely attractive quality to him. 1775 01:24:00,526 --> 01:24:02,526 Could it be that I am... 1776 01:24:03,878 --> 01:24:07,461 Maybe sort of in a roundabout way into him? 1777 01:24:09,536 --> 01:24:11,907 - Oh, I love pickles. 1778 01:24:14,935 --> 01:24:17,496 All right, so come on, 1779 01:24:17,496 --> 01:24:19,215 I'm waiting, anybody springing to mind? 1780 01:24:19,215 --> 01:24:20,048 - For what? 1781 01:24:20,048 --> 01:24:22,406 - To set me up with. 1782 01:24:22,406 --> 01:24:24,576 - Oh, yeah that. - Yeah, right? 1783 01:24:24,576 --> 01:24:25,409 - Right... 1784 01:24:28,956 --> 01:24:31,789 Okay, well there's my friend Nina. 1785 01:24:33,709 --> 01:24:36,816 - Nina, Nina, Nina, what's she like? 1786 01:24:36,816 --> 01:24:39,296 - Actress, a little cray-cray, 1787 01:24:39,296 --> 01:24:42,213 touch of the bipolar, but so sweet. 1788 01:24:43,206 --> 01:24:45,044 - Right, well, with a recommendation like that, 1789 01:24:45,044 --> 01:24:46,461 who else you got? 1790 01:24:47,695 --> 01:24:51,566 - There's Trish, super-cute, super-clingy. 1791 01:24:51,566 --> 01:24:55,096 Girl meets a guy and just clings on for dear life, 1792 01:24:55,096 --> 01:24:56,435 like a perky little barnacle 1793 01:24:56,435 --> 01:24:58,275 if you're into that kind of thing. 1794 01:24:58,275 --> 01:24:59,858 - You know what? 1795 01:24:59,858 --> 01:25:03,235 I do prefer my barnacles a little less clingy, you know? 1796 01:25:03,235 --> 01:25:07,154 - Okay, well I have this new friend called Allison. 1797 01:25:07,154 --> 01:25:08,206 That could actually be quite good. 1798 01:25:08,206 --> 01:25:09,686 - Sorry, did you say Allison? 1799 01:25:09,686 --> 01:25:11,856 - Yes, she just got out have a relationship 1800 01:25:11,856 --> 01:25:15,141 but she's ready to start dating again. 1801 01:25:15,141 --> 01:25:17,776 - What's her last name? 1802 01:25:17,776 --> 01:25:19,566 - What is her last name? 1803 01:25:19,566 --> 01:25:20,399 Allison... 1804 01:25:22,615 --> 01:25:23,448 Allison... 1805 01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:27,291 Weaver, Allison Weaver. 1806 01:25:27,291 --> 01:25:28,749 - Wow, thank God. 1807 01:25:28,749 --> 01:25:31,254 - Why do you know her? 1808 01:25:31,254 --> 01:25:35,230 - No, I just thought you're gonna say someone else. 1809 01:25:35,230 --> 01:25:36,063 - Who? 1810 01:25:37,563 --> 01:25:38,396 - Allison- 1811 01:25:38,396 --> 01:25:40,043 - Aaron, I want you to think very carefully, 1812 01:25:40,043 --> 01:25:41,062 before you do this. 1813 01:25:41,062 --> 01:25:43,551 - Zuckerman, Allison Zuckerman, yeah. 1814 01:25:43,551 --> 01:25:44,734 - Who's Allison Zuckerman? 1815 01:25:44,734 --> 01:25:47,483 - Yeah, Aaron who is Allison Zuckerman? 1816 01:25:47,483 --> 01:25:52,483 She's just a girl that used to be my fiancee. 1817 01:25:57,392 --> 01:25:59,203 Allison Zuckerman used to be my fiancee, yes. 1818 01:25:59,203 --> 01:26:00,899 - What's the point in imagining me 1819 01:26:00,899 --> 01:26:03,182 if you're not gonna listen to a freakin' word I say! 1820 01:26:03,182 --> 01:26:04,952 - Oh, I didn't know you were engaged. 1821 01:26:04,952 --> 01:26:06,854 Wait, was she the girl who was mute? 1822 01:26:06,854 --> 01:26:10,751 No, that would be wishful thinking. 1823 01:26:10,751 --> 01:26:14,751 - Wow, so how close were you to getting married? 1824 01:26:15,952 --> 01:26:17,403 - Pretty close I'd say. 1825 01:26:17,403 --> 01:26:19,592 - Had you sent out the invitations? 1826 01:26:19,592 --> 01:26:22,832 - Yeah, yeah gifts had been bought, band been booked. 1827 01:26:22,832 --> 01:26:27,165 and people were taking their seats if memory serves. 1828 01:26:28,494 --> 01:26:31,352 - No, she left you on your wedding day? 1829 01:26:31,352 --> 01:26:33,152 - No, well, she left me standing there 1830 01:26:33,152 --> 01:26:35,701 all alone under the chuppah. 1831 01:26:35,701 --> 01:26:38,243 - Why would she do that? 1832 01:26:38,243 --> 01:26:39,272 - I don't know. 1833 01:26:39,272 --> 01:26:43,662 Although I found her sprinting off in the parking lot 1834 01:26:43,662 --> 01:26:45,340 and she did say one thing to me. 1835 01:26:45,340 --> 01:26:46,872 - Which was? 1836 01:26:46,872 --> 01:26:50,323 - Sorry, Aaron, I just can't do this. 1837 01:26:50,323 --> 01:26:51,531 - I just can't do this? 1838 01:26:51,531 --> 01:26:53,470 - Yep. - What is this girl's address? 1839 01:26:53,470 --> 01:26:55,362 'Cause I am in the mood to cut a bitch. 1840 01:26:55,362 --> 01:26:58,882 - No, no, come on, I'm sure she had her reasons. 1841 01:26:58,882 --> 01:27:03,173 - Whatever reasons she had, you don't do that to someone. 1842 01:27:03,173 --> 01:27:06,277 What was the last time you saw her? 1843 01:27:06,277 --> 01:27:09,642 - 14 months, two weeks and three days 1844 01:27:09,642 --> 01:27:14,001 or something like that. 1845 01:27:14,001 --> 01:27:14,834 - Wow. 1846 01:27:16,293 --> 01:27:21,293 - Yeah, no there was pressure on the both of us, Okay? 1847 01:27:21,502 --> 01:27:22,585 So it's fine. 1848 01:27:23,533 --> 01:27:24,953 - Why are you defending her? 1849 01:27:24,953 --> 01:27:26,434 Are you still in love with her? 1850 01:27:26,434 --> 01:27:29,017 - No, not, God, no, all right? 1851 01:27:29,017 --> 01:27:29,850 I just... 1852 01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:34,205 I don't know, I never got any closure. 1853 01:27:34,205 --> 01:27:37,333 And maybe there was a part of me that thought, 1854 01:27:37,333 --> 01:27:38,453 "Well, she would change her mind. 1855 01:27:38,453 --> 01:27:40,533 She'd come running back to me." 1856 01:27:40,533 --> 01:27:42,200 But I guess I get... 1857 01:27:43,413 --> 01:27:46,746 That's why I haven't really dated anyone 1858 01:27:47,943 --> 01:27:51,314 or even gotten close to anybody since she left. 1859 01:27:51,314 --> 01:27:53,525 - Wait, are you trying to tell me 1860 01:27:53,525 --> 01:27:56,071 that you haven't kissed anyone since Allison? 1861 01:27:56,071 --> 01:27:57,925 - Oh, well that's a very complicated story 1862 01:27:57,925 --> 01:27:59,645 but the short answer is no. 1863 01:27:59,645 --> 01:28:01,432 - A long answer? - Also no. 1864 01:28:01,432 --> 01:28:04,515 - Okay, right, what I want you to do, 1865 01:28:08,419 --> 01:28:11,193 is imagine that she was here, right here right now. 1866 01:28:11,193 --> 01:28:12,422 - What, no, why? 1867 01:28:12,422 --> 01:28:13,262 No. 1868 01:28:13,262 --> 01:28:15,191 - No, no because we have to get you past this. 1869 01:28:15,191 --> 01:28:17,854 This is something I did in therapy for years 1870 01:28:17,854 --> 01:28:19,825 and me and my dad have had so many productive 1871 01:28:19,825 --> 01:28:20,963 conversations like this. 1872 01:28:20,963 --> 01:28:22,992 Okay, can you see her? 1873 01:28:26,203 --> 01:28:27,254 - Not so much. 1874 01:28:27,254 --> 01:28:29,905 - Oh, come on Aaron, work with me here. 1875 01:28:29,905 --> 01:28:33,322 Imagine that she was dressed the same way 1876 01:28:34,534 --> 01:28:36,446 that you might've been the last time you saw her. 1877 01:28:36,446 --> 01:28:37,279 Can you do that? 1878 01:28:37,279 --> 01:28:38,946 Can you see her now? 1879 01:28:40,625 --> 01:28:42,985 - Yeah, you could say that. 1880 01:28:42,985 --> 01:28:46,314 - Okay, now I want you to say everything 1881 01:28:46,314 --> 01:28:49,705 you've waited 14 months, two weeks 1882 01:28:49,705 --> 01:28:52,122 and three days to say to her. 1883 01:28:53,465 --> 01:28:54,798 Don't hold back. 1884 01:29:02,285 --> 01:29:03,646 - Hello, Allison. 1885 01:29:03,646 --> 01:29:05,006 - Hey, Aaron. 1886 01:29:05,006 --> 01:29:08,006 There's something you wanna say to me? 1887 01:29:08,006 --> 01:29:08,839 - No, I- 1888 01:29:08,839 --> 01:29:09,966 - Come on you can do this. 1889 01:29:09,966 --> 01:29:12,014 - Yes, actually, I... 1890 01:29:12,014 --> 01:29:12,847 Yes I do. 1891 01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:20,475 ♪ I never knew what love was like until I saw your face ♪ 1892 01:29:22,955 --> 01:29:27,955 ♪ And suddenly I felt a love that time cannot erase ♪ 1893 01:29:30,526 --> 01:29:34,305 ♪ Your eyes so sweet and piercing ♪ 1894 01:29:34,305 --> 01:29:39,305 ♪ Your manner kind yet strong ♪ 1895 01:29:40,185 --> 01:29:43,854 ♪ The kind of girl I could love forever ♪ 1896 01:29:43,854 --> 01:29:47,995 ♪ We'd spend the rest of our lives together ♪ 1897 01:29:47,995 --> 01:29:52,995 ♪ And in my life I don't think I've ever ♪ 1898 01:29:54,105 --> 01:29:58,534 ♪ Been so fucking wrong ♪ 1899 01:29:58,534 --> 01:30:01,094 ♪ You're a bitch with no heart you're a liar ♪ 1900 01:30:01,094 --> 01:30:05,272 ♪ You're Satan and I hate the way you snore at night ♪ 1901 01:30:05,272 --> 01:30:06,883 ♪ All your quirks piss me off ♪ 1902 01:30:06,883 --> 01:30:08,544 ♪ And I don't think I'm misstating ♪ 1903 01:30:08,544 --> 01:30:12,454 ♪ Your compulsive need to always be right ♪ 1904 01:30:12,454 --> 01:30:13,654 ♪ You're bossy and judgmental ♪ 1905 01:30:13,654 --> 01:30:15,532 ♪ Kind of tactless boring too ♪ 1906 01:30:15,532 --> 01:30:20,532 ♪ And I really can't believe I ever fell in love with you ♪ 1907 01:30:23,703 --> 01:30:25,536 ♪ Oh ♪ 1908 01:30:29,842 --> 01:30:31,030 Is that too much? 1909 01:30:31,030 --> 01:30:32,312 - Not enough. 1910 01:30:32,312 --> 01:30:33,145 - Okay. 1911 01:30:34,752 --> 01:30:37,712 ♪ I know that all seemed kind of harsh ♪ 1912 01:30:37,712 --> 01:30:40,251 ♪ And things weren't always bad ♪ 1913 01:30:41,643 --> 01:30:44,822 ♪ In fact, I think some times we shared ♪ 1914 01:30:44,822 --> 01:30:48,552 ♪ Were the best that I've ever had ♪ 1915 01:30:48,552 --> 01:30:52,222 ♪ Like our road trip that one summer ♪ 1916 01:30:52,222 --> 01:30:57,222 ♪ Or those steamy nights in Spain ♪ 1917 01:30:58,062 --> 01:31:01,792 ♪ You always melted when I would praise you ♪ 1918 01:31:01,792 --> 01:31:05,362 ♪ And my stupid jokes they would never phase you ♪ 1919 01:31:05,362 --> 01:31:06,982 ♪ But that don't mean shit ♪ 1920 01:31:06,982 --> 01:31:11,982 ♪ Next to all the ways you drove me so insane ♪ 1921 01:31:14,011 --> 01:31:15,982 ♪ You're a cock-frickin'-tease girl ♪ 1922 01:31:15,982 --> 01:31:17,512 ♪ You never stop your talking ♪ 1923 01:31:17,512 --> 01:31:20,752 ♪ And at times you got a double chin ♪ 1924 01:31:20,752 --> 01:31:22,421 ♪ You may say it's good fun ♪ 1925 01:31:22,421 --> 01:31:24,161 ♪ But your racist rants are shocking ♪ 1926 01:31:24,161 --> 01:31:27,492 ♪ And your lips don't need more collagen ♪ 1927 01:31:27,492 --> 01:31:29,944 ♪ All you care about is how much someone makes ♪ 1928 01:31:29,944 --> 01:31:32,374 ♪ And what they do not a man in his right mind ♪ 1929 01:31:32,374 --> 01:31:37,374 ♪ Would ever fall in love with you ♪ 1930 01:31:39,139 --> 01:31:42,452 ♪ You always criticized the clothes that I would wear ♪ 1931 01:31:42,452 --> 01:31:44,123 ♪ And found a way of pointing out ♪ 1932 01:31:44,123 --> 01:31:45,893 ♪ My thinning hair really ♪ 1933 01:31:45,893 --> 01:31:48,723 ♪ You turned me vegan which I totally despise ♪ 1934 01:31:48,723 --> 01:31:50,322 ♪ And I'm pretty sure you laughed that time ♪ 1935 01:31:50,322 --> 01:31:53,723 ♪ I said let's compromise ♪ 1936 01:31:53,723 --> 01:31:57,352 ♪ If you were shot or beaten run over by a truck ♪ 1937 01:31:57,352 --> 01:31:58,854 ♪ I guess that I'd be sad ♪ 1938 01:31:58,854 --> 01:32:03,854 ♪ But then again ♪ 1939 01:32:07,374 --> 01:32:11,443 ♪ It wouldn't suck ♪ 1940 01:32:11,443 --> 01:32:14,782 ♪ It wouldn't suck oh ♪ 1941 01:32:14,782 --> 01:32:16,620 ♪ So goodbye hit the road ♪ 1942 01:32:16,620 --> 01:32:18,232 ♪ As a girlfriend you are fired ♪ 1943 01:32:18,232 --> 01:32:21,462 ♪ Find some other chump that you can fleece ♪ 1944 01:32:21,462 --> 01:32:23,293 ♪ Years from now when you're old ♪ 1945 01:32:23,293 --> 01:32:25,222 ♪ And you've finally expired girl ♪ 1946 01:32:25,222 --> 01:32:28,322 ♪ I hope that you don't rest in peace ♪ 1947 01:32:28,322 --> 01:32:29,912 ♪ Never met someone so selfish ♪ 1948 01:32:29,912 --> 01:32:31,820 ♪ Half the time my balls were blue ♪ 1949 01:32:31,820 --> 01:32:35,054 ♪ After all that I've endured now ♪ 1950 01:32:35,054 --> 01:32:38,414 ♪ You can safely rest assured now ♪ 1951 01:32:38,414 --> 01:32:40,203 ♪ That your ex is up and cured now ♪ 1952 01:32:40,203 --> 01:32:43,494 ♪ Yeah I'm so done being in love ♪ 1953 01:32:43,494 --> 01:32:46,923 ♪ Oh ♪ 1954 01:32:46,923 --> 01:32:50,523 ♪ With you ♪ 1955 01:32:50,523 --> 01:32:52,533 ♪ We're through yeah yeah ♪ 1956 01:32:52,533 --> 01:32:55,872 ♪ Oh we're so done Allison Honeybun ♪ 1957 01:32:55,872 --> 01:32:57,723 ♪ It's like over ♪ 1958 01:32:57,723 --> 01:32:58,556 ♪ It was on now it's gone ♪ 1959 01:32:58,556 --> 01:33:00,099 ♪ And I've regained my composure ♪ 1960 01:33:00,099 --> 01:33:01,931 ♪ You're a mess so God bless ♪ 1961 01:33:01,931 --> 01:33:03,990 ♪ And that's what you call closure ♪ 1962 01:33:03,990 --> 01:33:08,157 ♪ So done being in love with you ♪ 1963 01:33:15,470 --> 01:33:17,053 You're doing great. 1964 01:33:23,011 --> 01:33:24,627 - How did that feel? 1965 01:33:24,627 --> 01:33:28,371 - So good, great like I feel alive again, 1966 01:33:28,371 --> 01:33:30,870 like rejuvenated and energized, 1967 01:33:30,870 --> 01:33:34,000 like a giant soul sucking bitch weight 1968 01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:35,680 has been lifted off my chest, you know? 1969 01:33:38,200 --> 01:33:39,680 Whoa! - See, I told you so. 1970 01:33:39,680 --> 01:33:44,680 - I've never been so proud of you in my whole entire life. 1971 01:33:44,759 --> 01:33:47,910 It's like the pupil has become the teacher. 1972 01:33:47,910 --> 01:33:50,491 - Hi. - How are we doing over here? 1973 01:33:50,491 --> 01:33:53,590 - Oh, we're good, thank you. 1974 01:33:53,590 --> 01:33:56,371 - Are you guys finished? 1975 01:33:56,371 --> 01:33:57,630 - Yeah, I think we're. 1976 01:33:57,630 --> 01:34:00,710 - Well, can I get you guys anything else this evening? 1977 01:34:00,710 --> 01:34:05,377 Dessert, coffee, another food-related production number? 1978 01:34:08,360 --> 01:34:09,790 - No, no. - No, no. 1979 01:34:09,790 --> 01:34:11,328 - Thank you. 1980 01:34:11,328 --> 01:34:13,411 - Your loss, here you go. 1981 01:34:17,379 --> 01:34:18,880 ♪ The check, the check ♪ 1982 01:34:18,880 --> 01:34:20,350 ♪ Who's going to pay the check ♪ 1983 01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:23,619 ♪ It's a mystery where everything's at stake ♪ 1984 01:34:23,619 --> 01:34:26,758 ♪ A guy, a girl, a black faux leather folder ♪ 1985 01:34:26,758 --> 01:34:29,600 ♪ A series of mistakes that you could make ♪ 1986 01:34:29,600 --> 01:34:31,399 ♪ Should a woman leave and freshen up ♪ 1987 01:34:31,399 --> 01:34:32,897 ♪ While he whips out his credit card ♪ 1988 01:34:32,897 --> 01:34:34,999 ♪ Should they go dutch or not so much lest egos ♪ 1989 01:34:34,999 --> 01:34:36,800 ♪ End up scraped and scarred ♪ 1990 01:34:36,800 --> 01:34:38,360 ♪ The rules are always changing ♪ 1991 01:34:38,360 --> 01:34:40,379 ♪ Why's it gotta be so friggin' hard ♪ 1992 01:34:40,379 --> 01:34:41,377 ♪ So hard ♪ 1993 01:34:41,377 --> 01:34:43,120 ♪ I'd rather someone wring my neck ♪ 1994 01:34:43,120 --> 01:34:48,120 ♪ Than wonder who the hell is supposed to pay the check ♪ 1995 01:34:51,069 --> 01:34:52,110 - Why don't I get this? 1996 01:34:52,110 --> 01:34:54,760 - No, no, please let me. 1997 01:34:54,760 --> 01:34:55,593 - Should we split it? 1998 01:34:55,593 --> 01:34:58,200 - No, because I think this may be the one thing 1999 01:34:58,200 --> 01:34:59,958 that I have over all of your exes. 2000 01:34:59,958 --> 01:35:02,069 So please, please just let me have this. 2001 01:35:02,069 --> 01:35:03,686 - Thank you, Aaron. 2002 01:35:03,686 --> 01:35:05,103 - You're welcome. 2003 01:35:08,357 --> 01:35:09,315 You know what? 2004 01:35:09,315 --> 01:35:11,875 I may be setting myself up here for some hardcore rejection 2005 01:35:11,875 --> 01:35:14,715 but I am feeling rather empowered right now. 2006 01:35:14,715 --> 01:35:16,136 So fuck it. 2007 01:35:21,107 --> 01:35:24,678 I don't wanna go out with your friends, Casey. 2008 01:35:24,678 --> 01:35:27,366 I wanna go out with you. 2009 01:35:27,366 --> 01:35:29,867 Now listen, we have a great rapport. 2010 01:35:29,867 --> 01:35:32,219 I mean, we both love Quantum Leap, right? 2011 01:35:32,219 --> 01:35:34,638 And in a brief time, you've helped me help with my ex drama. 2012 01:35:34,638 --> 01:35:36,848 Now I know this may sound crazy 2013 01:35:36,848 --> 01:35:40,387 but I actually think that your particular brand of edgy 2014 01:35:40,387 --> 01:35:43,368 and a creative might actually be good for me. 2015 01:35:43,368 --> 01:35:46,437 And I think that my particular brand of structure 2016 01:35:46,437 --> 01:35:49,267 and stability might actually be good for you. 2017 01:35:49,267 --> 01:35:52,648 And I know, oh wow, I know that I am not usually the guy 2018 01:35:52,648 --> 01:35:54,099 that you would go out with 2019 01:35:54,099 --> 01:35:58,318 but you know that hasn't worked out so much in the past. 2020 01:35:58,318 --> 01:36:02,151 So maybe it's time to try something different. 2021 01:36:06,798 --> 01:36:09,048 So, Casey, what do you say? 2022 01:36:20,027 --> 01:36:21,996 All right, buddy, good try. 2023 01:36:21,996 --> 01:36:24,784 But I think you got your answer. 2024 01:36:24,784 --> 01:36:26,867 Let's wrap this thing up. 2025 01:36:28,538 --> 01:36:30,371 - Okay, tell you what? 2026 01:36:40,940 --> 01:36:43,023 Here, you have my number. 2027 01:36:47,300 --> 01:36:50,899 If you wanna hang out again, you let me know. 2028 01:36:50,899 --> 01:36:54,816 If not, thank you for a very memorable evening. 2029 01:37:04,891 --> 01:37:07,609 - Did you just let him walk out of here? 2030 01:37:07,609 --> 01:37:10,580 Because I'm pretty sure you just let him walk out of here. 2031 01:37:10,580 --> 01:37:14,010 Why did you let him walk out of here? 2032 01:37:14,010 --> 01:37:15,927 - Everything all right? 2033 01:37:17,846 --> 01:37:19,263 - No, not at all. 2034 01:37:42,540 --> 01:37:43,373 - Oh my God. 2035 01:37:43,373 --> 01:37:44,206 - Can I help you? 2036 01:37:44,206 --> 01:37:45,734 - Yeah, I'm looking for my friend. 2037 01:37:45,734 --> 01:37:49,794 Attractive dress, kind of funky, wordly inconsiderate. 2038 01:37:49,794 --> 01:37:50,903 She told me she was meeting 2039 01:37:50,903 --> 01:37:52,640 some random guy here for a drink. 2040 01:37:52,640 --> 01:37:54,184 - Oh, but you just missed them. 2041 01:37:54,184 --> 01:37:55,802 - Okay, a quick question. 2042 01:37:55,802 --> 01:37:57,874 Did she look like she was having the time of her life 2043 01:37:57,874 --> 01:37:59,722 or did she was fighting for her life 2044 01:37:59,722 --> 01:38:01,304 and just so you know if you're wrong, 2045 01:38:01,304 --> 01:38:03,133 her blood is on both of her hands! 2046 01:38:03,133 --> 01:38:07,365 - All right, look, I don't know exactly what's going on here 2047 01:38:07,365 --> 01:38:10,216 but why don't you take a seat and try to calm down? 2048 01:38:10,216 --> 01:38:12,045 - That's a good idea, 2049 01:38:12,045 --> 01:38:14,203 I guess I get a little worked up sometimes. 2050 01:38:14,203 --> 01:38:15,784 People tell me I have a very vivid 2051 01:38:15,784 --> 01:38:17,714 and overactive imagination. 2052 01:38:17,714 --> 01:38:19,297 - Oh, don't we all? 2053 01:38:20,354 --> 01:38:21,437 - You do too? 2054 01:38:23,224 --> 01:38:24,057 - Who, me? 2055 01:38:25,455 --> 01:38:27,122 Oh, well, well sure. 2056 01:38:28,303 --> 01:38:31,346 I'm always dreaming something up. 2057 01:38:31,346 --> 01:38:35,375 Some new recipe or a useless invention. 2058 01:38:35,375 --> 01:38:37,384 I even write some songs 2059 01:38:37,384 --> 01:38:40,844 and a little love poetry on the side. 2060 01:38:40,844 --> 01:38:41,677 - Really? - Mm-hm. 2061 01:38:41,677 --> 01:38:43,535 - Hey, can I hear some? 2062 01:38:43,535 --> 01:38:46,994 ♪ He's a bit dramatic ♪ 2063 01:38:46,994 --> 01:38:49,335 ♪ He's way too sweet ♪ 2064 01:38:49,335 --> 01:38:54,335 ♪ Or maybe he's the one who'd make my life complete ♪ 2065 01:38:54,834 --> 01:38:55,895 I'm Reggie 2066 01:38:55,895 --> 01:38:56,834 - I'm available. 2067 01:39:14,484 --> 01:39:15,984 - Hi, remember me? 2068 01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:19,802 I'm the girl a few minutes ago 2069 01:39:19,802 --> 01:39:21,572 who just let you walk out the restaurant 2070 01:39:21,572 --> 01:39:22,772 without saying goodbye. 2071 01:39:22,772 --> 01:39:25,402 - Yeah, that sounds vaguely familiar. 2072 01:39:25,402 --> 01:39:27,531 - Oh, here I am. 2073 01:39:27,531 --> 01:39:30,434 - Here you're, you're lost? 2074 01:39:30,434 --> 01:39:32,023 Is that what this is of you? 2075 01:39:32,023 --> 01:39:33,652 Wait, did I leave something in the restaurant 2076 01:39:33,652 --> 01:39:35,696 other than my dignity? 2077 01:39:35,696 --> 01:39:37,543 - I thought that you might walk me home 2078 01:39:37,543 --> 01:39:39,583 if you want, no pressure. 2079 01:39:39,583 --> 01:39:41,250 - Sure, I'd love to. 2080 01:39:47,074 --> 01:39:51,157 Just wait, I just got to do a little limber here. 2081 01:39:53,554 --> 01:39:55,082 You can never be too safe, 2082 01:39:55,082 --> 01:39:57,143 you wanna get in on this? 2083 01:39:57,143 --> 01:39:57,976 - No, I'm good. 2084 01:39:57,976 --> 01:40:00,442 - You should do the hips as well, you did? 2085 01:40:00,442 --> 01:40:01,275 You're ready? 2086 01:40:01,275 --> 01:40:02,108 - No, no, yes. 2087 01:40:02,108 --> 01:40:02,943 - After you. - All right. 2088 01:40:02,943 --> 01:40:04,122 - Wait, you don't live in Hoboken? 2089 01:40:04,122 --> 01:40:05,012 - No, just around the corner. 2090 01:40:05,012 --> 01:40:06,332 - Oh, well, that is great. 2091 01:40:06,332 --> 01:40:07,972 That is... 2092 01:40:07,972 --> 01:40:08,892 That is great. 2093 01:40:27,033 --> 01:40:32,033 ♪ I am standing at the start of something that is new ♪ 2094 01:40:33,522 --> 01:40:38,522 ♪ I can't keep building walls despite what I've been through ♪ 2095 01:40:39,674 --> 01:40:42,602 ♪ If I may have found the someone ♪ 2096 01:40:42,602 --> 01:40:45,673 ♪ The one I should be looking for ♪ 2097 01:40:45,673 --> 01:40:48,932 ♪ I'd be a jerk to run away ♪ 2098 01:40:48,932 --> 01:40:53,932 ♪ So I'll hold my breath and stay ♪ 2099 01:40:57,063 --> 01:41:00,401 ♪ There's a person by my side ♪ 2100 01:41:00,401 --> 01:41:03,312 ♪ She's not who I had planned ♪ 2101 01:41:03,312 --> 01:41:06,503 ♪ Yet I feel the sudden urge ♪ 2102 01:41:06,503 --> 01:41:09,612 ♪ To reach out and take her hand ♪ 2103 01:41:09,612 --> 01:41:14,612 ♪ And I yearn for letting go of all the baggage in my past ♪ 2104 01:41:15,850 --> 01:41:19,012 ♪ If i don't try I'll never know ♪ 2105 01:41:19,012 --> 01:41:23,882 ♪ Just how far this thing might go ♪ 2106 01:41:23,882 --> 01:41:26,943 ♪ We could make it to tomorrow ♪ 2107 01:41:26,943 --> 01:41:30,183 ♪ Or just end it all right here ♪ 2108 01:41:30,183 --> 01:41:33,122 ♪ We could fall flat on our faces ♪ 2109 01:41:33,122 --> 01:41:36,402 ♪ Or fall more in love each year ♪ 2110 01:41:36,402 --> 01:41:39,663 ♪ With so little to be sure of ♪ 2111 01:41:39,663 --> 01:41:42,543 ♪ Possibilities are vast ♪ 2112 01:41:42,543 --> 01:41:46,914 ♪ This may be one perfect moment ♪ 2113 01:41:46,914 --> 01:41:51,914 ♪ Or maybe this is something that will last ♪ 2114 01:41:54,466 --> 01:41:57,663 Quit stalling and tap that shit already. 2115 01:41:57,663 --> 01:42:00,244 Okay, you're gonna give him one quick kiss on the cheek 2116 01:42:00,244 --> 01:42:03,392 but that's it, V-town is close to the public tonight. 2117 01:42:03,392 --> 01:42:05,034 Got it? 2118 01:42:06,954 --> 01:42:08,292 Do you who hates you? 2119 01:42:08,292 --> 01:42:10,292 The entire male species. 2120 01:42:13,983 --> 01:42:16,932 It's a definite possibility. 2121 01:42:16,932 --> 01:42:19,523 Blah, blah, blah more therapy. 2122 01:42:22,688 --> 01:42:24,282 - Well, this is my place. 2123 01:42:24,282 --> 01:42:28,699 - Oh, big building, excellent structural engineering, 2124 01:42:34,362 --> 01:42:36,911 bricks and the columns. 2125 01:42:36,911 --> 01:42:39,132 - Thank you, I designed it my self. 2126 01:42:46,938 --> 01:42:48,105 - All right... 2127 01:42:55,466 --> 01:42:56,299 Goodnight. 2128 01:42:57,927 --> 01:42:58,760 - Goodnight Aaron. 2129 01:42:58,760 --> 01:43:03,347 ♪ If we'd only take the chance ♪ 2130 01:43:03,347 --> 01:43:06,417 ♪ If I say goodbye forever ♪ 2131 01:43:06,417 --> 01:43:11,285 ♪ Would I miss some true romance ♪ 2132 01:43:11,285 --> 01:43:14,357 ♪ All the burdens that we carry ♪ 2133 01:43:14,357 --> 01:43:17,197 ♪ Need to let them go and fast ♪ 2134 01:43:17,197 --> 01:43:21,618 ♪ So there's not one perfect moment ♪ 2135 01:43:21,618 --> 01:43:26,618 ♪ But rather there's something that will last ♪ 2136 01:43:26,957 --> 01:43:30,087 ♪ I am through with holding on ♪ 2137 01:43:30,087 --> 01:43:35,087 ♪ I won't let mistakes and memories get the best of me ♪ 2138 01:43:36,795 --> 01:43:39,589 ♪ Oh ♪ 2139 01:43:39,589 --> 01:43:42,738 ♪ Though my doubts are far from gone ♪ 2140 01:43:42,738 --> 01:43:47,738 ♪ I will leap into the future and just wait and see ♪ 2141 01:43:50,818 --> 01:43:55,818 ♪ If we make it to tomorrow if we stand the test of time ♪ 2142 01:43:56,898 --> 01:43:59,938 ♪ Or the wind's too strong against us ♪ 2143 01:43:59,938 --> 01:44:03,178 ♪ And we can't quite make the climb ♪ 2144 01:44:03,178 --> 01:44:06,637 ♪ All I know is in this moment ♪ 2145 01:44:06,637 --> 01:44:09,437 ♪ My past is just my past ♪ 2146 01:44:09,437 --> 01:44:13,789 ♪ Right now I can't help but wonder ♪ 2147 01:44:13,789 --> 01:44:18,709 ♪ If this could be the something that will last ♪ 2148 01:44:18,709 --> 01:44:21,607 ♪ Could this be the something ♪ 2149 01:44:21,607 --> 01:44:26,607 ♪ Could this be the something that will last ♪ 160849

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