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1
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,731
[ Man ]
*Early in the mornin'
2
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,167
*Before I clear my mind
3
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,670
*I grab a funky glass
and I drink a cup of wine *
4
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:14,142
*Then I turn my music box
to the latest news of love *
5
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,110
*Let the music
set me groovin' *
6
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,881
*I've got to groove
groove, groove *
7
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,617
*To the music
8
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,786
*Feel it
9
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,822
*I've got to groove
groove, groove *
10
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,259
*To the music
11
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:35,229
[ Man ] Man! Would you
look at all the hot tail
runnin' around this place?
12
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,498
Look. Look.
[ Groans ]
13
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,501
Dad, can you just please,
please don't embarrass me
today, okay?
14
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,870
Embarrass you?
15
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,905
Son, you spent
the entire summer
depressed...
16
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,308
because your girlfriend
ran off with that
pretty boy Trent.
17
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,744
Now you've gotta
get out there
and crush some ass.
18
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,546
- That's the only way you're
gonna get your mind off her.
- Yes. Yes.
19
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,482
That is what I'm talkin' about.
Yes.
20
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,850
"Crush some ass"?
Aw, come on.
21
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,220
Wait, wait, wait.
22
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,322
I'll show you
how it's done.
No, no, no.
23
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,624
Shh, shh, shh. Watch this.
Just watch and learn.
Please drive--
24
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,759
Excuse me. Uh, ladies? Hi.
25
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,262
Hi. This is my son Erik.
26
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,264
Hi.
Mmm.
27
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,433
And, uh--
[ Clears Throat ]
28
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,735
He's moving in today,
and we were just
wondering...
29
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:18,572
if maybe either of you
were interested in
showing him a good time.
30
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,709
[ Laughs ]
No, thanks.
31
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,412
Oh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
32
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,414
He's a stallion--
[ Groans ]
33
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,317
Just like his old man.
No, Dad, come on.
34
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,186
Well, I tried, huh?
Yeah, thanks.
Now I'm gonna have to transfer.
35
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,255
[ Chattering ]
36
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,925
Son. Son.
Yeah?
37
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,261
I wanna show you
something.
38
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:44,198
This is the list
of all the chicks
I ever banged.
39
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:48,236
Are you serious?
Is that two-sided?
It is. Nice.
40
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:51,272
Yeah, it's a good goal
for you to try to keep up
with your old man.
41
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:54,608
Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name
the last name on the list?
42
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,378
There?
Uh, we didn't tell you,
but when you were three,
43
00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,781
we had a trial separation
for a week.
Trial sep--
44
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,217
Uh, Dad, there's, like--
45
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,586
Well, there's 10 names here
for that week alone.
46
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:09,257
Yeah, I went on kind
of a poontang bender there.
Is that my mom's name?
47
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,859
Yeah, you know,
on second thought I'll
just kind of hang onto that.
48
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,827
Come on, guys,
let's get loaded here.
49
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,865
Cooze, grab a box.
50
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,733
You had sex
with his mom?
Yeah.
51
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,603
How was it?
Yuck.
52
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,572
[ Chattering ]
53
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:34,348
Wow. This place is amazing.
54
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:39,520
- Hi.
- God, there are
girls everywhere.
55
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:43,524
- Uh-- This is my room.
- It still kind of sucks
we're not rooming together.
56
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,626
Dude, whatever.
You're gonna be
right down the hall.
57
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,795
Besides, I got a single.
58
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,630
Hold onto this.
I'm gonna find
a bathroom.
59
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,799
All right.
I'll be right back.
60
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,902
Oh, my God.
Hi. How ya doin'?
Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you.
61
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,470
My God.
62
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,978
- Wow! This is gonna take
some getting used to.
- Huh.
63
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:09,517
Yeah, um, isn't--
Isn't this the guys' bathroom?
64
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,886
No, it's coed.
All the dorms are like this.
65
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,722
Cool. Coed. Yeah.
66
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,291
Don't worry.
I won't peek.
67
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:20,494
Yeah, I won't peek, uh--
I won't peek either.
68
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,463
I'm Ashley.
What's your name?
69
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,698
I'm Erik.
Hmm.
70
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:29,303
-Well, it's nice
to meet you, Erik.
- Nice to meet you too.
71
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,305
Hey, do you think
you could pass me my shampoo?
72
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,441
It's just right there.
73
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:37,811
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just gimme a--
a minute here, okay?
- Thanks.
74
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,562
-Erik?
- [ Chuckles ]
75
00:04:56,664 --> 00:05:00,601
Erik? A little help here?
76
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,776
[ Groans ]
[ Squeaking ]
77
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,346
[ Man ]
Ride the white whale, baby.
Ride the white whale.
78
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,415
Oh, my God.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
79
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:18,018
I'm sorry.
The door was open.
You must be Erik. I'm Bobby.
80
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,853
Hi. Hey, hey.
81
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,889
Come on in, man.
No, no, no.
82
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,358
It's-- You guys are busy.
I can come back later.
83
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:28,028
This is your place too.
Don't worry about Margie.
She's not exactly shy.
84
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,565
- No, she's not.
- Sit down. You want a beer?
85
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,701
- Uh, no.
- You sure?
86
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,337
Yeah.
Are you hungry? Margie
cooked up some mean bratwurst.
87
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,642
No, I just had a sandwich.
Thanks.
88
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,044
- Where you from?
- East Great Falls.
89
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:48,048
East Great Falls.
[ Moaning ]
90
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,584
Slow down, sassy pants.
91
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,586
All right, baby,
I'm trying to have
a conversation.
92
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,788
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
93
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,592
College! Yeah.
Best years of our lives.
94
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,127
Yeah.
Put it up.
95
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,966
Oh, high-- High five.
[ Chuckles ]
96
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,101
- You wanna jump in on this?
- No.
97
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,870
- Come on. Margie loves it.
-No, no, no, Margie.
98
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,640
No. No, no, no. I'm good.
Look, uh--
99
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,708
It was very nice
to meet you,
Bobby and Margie.
100
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,944
Actually, I just came
to change my pants.
101
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,680
I spilled a drink
on it earlier.
102
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,916
- [ Gagging ]
- [ Chuckles ]
Are you role-playing again?
103
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,620
Say the safe word, baby.
Say the safe-- Baby?
104
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:29,022
Are you choking?
Dude, I-I think she's choking.
105
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,924
- What?
-I think she's choking.
You gotta do something.
106
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,694
-Do something.
-I can't. I'm tied up and basted
like a Thanksgiving turkey.
107
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,897
- Hold on.
I'll find the spot.
- Come on.
108
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,066
- Oh.
- Breathe!
109
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:43,537
What do you want me
to do with all this--
Oh! Erik, no.
110
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,973
- [ Groaning ]
- All right, Son!
111
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,942
Yeah. That's what being
a Stifler's all about.
112
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,745
No, no. She was choking.
That's it.
113
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,747
That's how Stiflers do college.
114
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,049
Now, let's just give
these kids some privacy.
115
00:06:56,083 --> 00:07:00,821
Doin' good. Keep it up.
116
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:04,492
I'm not trying
to freak you out, roomie,
but I just totally came.
117
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:08,161
[ Chattering ]
118
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,467
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
119
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:17,070
[ Man ]
*A lollipop
And I won't stop *
120
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,007
*Gonna lick that sweetness
121
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,543
* [ Continues ]
122
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,912
[ Beeping ]
123
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,089
Hey, ladies.
Is this where, uh--
124
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,159
[ Beeping ]
125
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,829
Laura Johnson
and Sara Coleman live?
126
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:46,199
Yeah. I'm Laura Johnson,
and this is my roommate Sara.
127
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,537
My name is Dwight Stifler.
I'm here with the freshman
welcoming committee.
128
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:54,074
I've been given instructions
to escort you ladies on
a guided tour of the campus.
129
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,076
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
130
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,878
Should we wear anything special?
131
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,550
* [ Pop ]
132
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:05,285
Dude, there is no way
that everybody in this
is a student here.
133
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,755
I'm, like, look--
He's holding her boob.
[ Laughs ]
134
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,123
-He is.
- No, man, they are.
135
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,125
I've had a subscription
for, like, a year.
136
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,862
[ Sniffs ]
Oh, that'll be good.
137
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,264
[ Laughs ]
That's not cologne, man.
138
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:21,068
I've used that exact issue
more times than I could count.
139
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,706
[ Sniffs ]
You smell pretty.
140
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,675
[ Laughs ]
Mmm.
141
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,777
Ow!
[ Knocking ]
Sorry.
142
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,045
That was so uncalled for.
143
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,684
Wow.
144
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,919
Is this Erik Stifler's room?
145
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,821
Yeah.
146
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:50,063
Welcome to college, boys.
147
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,566
Yeah, no.
I wouldn't lie to you.
I'm dead serious.
148
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,168
Most sororities
won't even give you a bid
unless you've had a threesome.
149
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,270
It shows that you work well
within the group dynamic,
150
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,272
that you're really prepared
for sisterhood.
151
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,241
You know what I'm sayin'?
Really?
152
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,243
Yeah.
Oh, man, who is this guy?
153
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,846
Dude, he's the reason
we came to college here.
154
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,782
* [ Pop ]
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
155
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,984
- Here we are, boys.
-[ Erik ]
Oh, man, she's hot.
156
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,954
- You like that?
- That was awesome.
157
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,724
I like to give
a little bit back
every now and then.
158
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,960
- Hey, hey, shower buddy.
- Oh, hey. Hi.
159
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,864
-Shower buddy?
-Yeah. Erik and I met when
I was showering this afternoon.
160
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,834
- Really?
- Yeah.
161
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,869
Oh, right,
the coed bathrooms.
Yeah.
162
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,772
It took me about
three years to get the board
of trustees to approve that one.
163
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,375
- Worth it.
- Oh, Ashley, Hi. This--
Everyone, this is Ashley.
164
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,278
-Ashley, this is everyone.
-[ Ashley ]
Hi, everybody.
165
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:42,315
This is my roommate Denise.
She just came here from Georgia.
Hey, y'all.
166
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:46,353
Oh, well, I do declare.
A real-life Scarlett O'Hara.
167
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,757
- Oh, my.
- You guys aren't
taking off, are you?
168
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,893
Yeah, we're going
to this cocktail mixer at
the Epsilon Sigma Kappa house.
169
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,896
Uh, no. No, no, no.
The geek house?
No. Trust me.
170
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,899
I wanna stay, but--
[ Ashley ]
But we promised, so--
171
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,769
Plus, Ashley thinks
this party is a little bit
déclassé.
172
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,737
What, like sleazy?
173
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,706
Hey, how you doin', sweetheart?
Grab a beer.
174
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,941
No, you've got the wrong idea
about this whole thing.
175
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,044
This is just a little
meet-and-greet that I set up...
176
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:13,046
to sort of, you know,
demonstrate our school spirit,
177
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,082
and our, you know, dedication
to this university.
178
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,117
Beta house fuckin' rules!
179
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,687
[ Crowd Cheers ]
180
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,855
- [ Yelling ]
-[ Laughter ]
181
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,727
- Yeah!
- Real classy.
182
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,030
Hmm. Erik, it was really
nice to see you again.
Yeah.
183
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,000
Guys.
Yeah, see ya.
184
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,869
-Bye. Nice to meet you.
- See ya.
185
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,939
Hey, Stifler, what's up
with this geek house?
186
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,009
-Yeah, I never even heard of it.
-I know a geek house
sounds harmless,
187
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,746
but they are a nightmare.
188
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,215
[ Dwight Narrating ]
They were a social club
for decades,
189
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,884
until a group of rich geeks
came in and threw
some money around,
190
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,053
built the house
and got a new charter.
191
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,123
- [ Erik ] A geek fraternity?
- [ Dwight ] To get in you need,
like, perfect S.A.T. scores.
192
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,258
Patch that two million
to my Swiss account.
193
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,093
[ Dwight ]
Then they check
your family tree...
194
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,395
and calculate future
earnings potential.
195
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:06,266
No, I said buy at 60,
not sell at 60.
You're fucking fired!
196
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,169
[ Dwight ]
They got billionaire alumni,
Hey, it's only 100 grand.
197
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,205
They run the student government,
198
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,008
and the faculty loves 'em.
199
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,110
But, uh, don't even
get me started on the women.
200
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,047
They attract the hottest women
from the entire school.
201
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,786
[ Erik ]
Who wants to hang out
with a house full of geeks?
202
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,121
[ Dwight ]
It's a new world out there.
203
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,123
These women realize
that the geeks...
204
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:33,060
are gonna be the millionaires
right out of school.
205
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:37,831
They've just adjusted
their nesting habits.
206
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,167
Hey, don't sweat it.
Beta's still where
the party's at, right?
207
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,004
Oh! Look out. Stifler--
208
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,840
The judging's about to begin.
All right.
209
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,843
Judging?
210
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,846
* [ Dance ]
[ Crowd Roaring ]
211
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,355
Aw, the Beta house
never disappoints.
212
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:06,994
Are you serious?
It's always like this?
All the time.
213
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,863
-These girls are ridiculous!
- Ridiculous!
214
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,765
Get the clip board.
215
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,871
Whoo.
216
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,974
Sweetie, you are naughty.
I am keeping you after class.
217
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:26,947
Bring that ruler.
I have also been bad.
218
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,482
And this one over here
has got great abs.
219
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,119
They look like
fresh buttered rolls
right out of the oven.
220
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,921
Great!
This is the best idea
I've ever had!
221
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,860
This is a chicken scratch.
You're a caveman.
222
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,095
Oh!
223
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,798
[ Crowd Cheering ]
224
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,772
She's pullin' 'em out.
She's pullin' 'em out!
225
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,778
[ Together ]
Perfect tits!
226
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,450
Whoo!
Whoo!
227
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,385
Beta!
Come on!
228
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:13,126
Ladies and gentlemen,
depravity is haunting
this university.
229
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,263
Sex, alcohol, vulgarity,
230
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,398
stupidity.
231
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:22,169
Once this was a respected
institution of higher learning.
232
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,538
We are declaring
a new age at
this university--
233
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:29,376
An age in which a student's
worth is no longer measured
by his blood alcohol level,
234
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,279
but rather, his G.P.A.
235
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,248
We formed this fraternity
to change the way...
236
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,550
geeks are thought of
in this country.
237
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:41,922
But, as history has proven,
238
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,992
for a new civilization
to emerge,
239
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,528
another must crumble.
[ Blows ]
240
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,566
We must destroy the Betas.
241
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,336
* [ Dance ]
[ Chattering ]
242
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,375
Hey, Stacy.
243
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,113
My hands are wet.
I can't get this beer open.
Will you do it for me?
244
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,183
[ Cheering ]
245
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:14,387
Thanks. Those Kegel
muscle exercises are really
payin' off, huh?
246
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,657
So what do we have to do
to become Betas?
247
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,993
Uh, well, obviously
you guys are cool with me.
248
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,963
What you need to do is impress
the rush chair, Wesley.
Have you guys met Wesley?
249
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,998
[ Both ]
Uh-huh.
You haven't? All right.
250
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,934
He's in the other room.
Come on. I'll introduce you.
Follow me.
251
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,502
* [ Piano:Fu%r Elise]
252
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,008
Don't be fooled
by his appearance.
253
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,211
His nickname is
the Blackout Menace.
254
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,414
He's a perfect student
except for his habit of
getting belligerently drunk,
255
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,117
blacking out, causing
complete and total mayhem,
256
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,219
and never remembering
a thing.
257
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,355
[ Jet Engines Whining ]
258
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,593
[ Bell Dings ]
259
00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,033
Uh, excuse me.
260
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,936
- Where is this plane going to?
- Detroit.
261
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,938
[ Exhales ]
262
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:08,241
[ Laughing ]
Thank God.
263
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,945
Uh, excuse me.
Where is it coming from?
264
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,981
- Bangkok.
- [ Muttering ]
265
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,351
Whose kid is that?
Yours.
266
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:22,189
You adopted him yesterday.
Congratulations.
267
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,393
Hey, buddy.
268
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,563
Are you serious?
269
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,067
Yep. Just dropped Sung Lee off
at their embassy this last week.
270
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:37,504
Kid nearly caused
an international incident.
271
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,539
Wesley.
272
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,674
Sorry to interrupt.
273
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:46,013
- Wesley, this is my cousin
and his buddies.
- Hi.
274
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,747
Uh, Erik, right?
Yeah.
275
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,617
Mike Coozeman.
How come we didn't
see you last year?
276
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:54,554
I was in a Mexican jail.
I had to tunnel my way out,
277
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,689
but I made it back
in time for finals,
278
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,360
which is what we're
all about here at Beta--
education.
279
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,063
- Right.
- You wanna dance?
280
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,597
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
281
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,167
Let's get sexy.
282
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,402
[ Whistling ]
Hey.
283
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,105
You ready?
There's 100 hot,
horny chicks here tonight.
284
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,074
Countin' on you.
285
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,409
* [ Hip-hop ]
286
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,578
[ Man ]
*When it's time
for underground flavor *
287
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,447
*Hip-hop make you change
your behavior *
288
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,516
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
289
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,362
Get some, baby.
Get some.
290
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,408
* [ Jazz ]
291
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:54,214
*Call me irresponsible
292
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:58,118
*Call me unreliable
293
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:02,089
*Throw in undependable too
You've gotta be kidding.
294
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,357
[ Pounds On Keyboard ]
Are you gonna
start drinking?
295
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,094
Because I desperately
need a wingman.
296
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,063
I'm not drinking tonight, Bull.
I had a rough night last week.
297
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,199
Oh, really?
298
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,667
Really? That's fine.
299
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,836
Because then I just might
have to tell these
fine young ladies...
300
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,239
about a certain
frat boy and a...
301
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,541
- Mexican transvestite.
- All right, all right,
all right.
302
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:25,678
[ Girls Murmuring ]
One drink.
303
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,247
Yeah. Just one.
[ Sniffs ]
304
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,357
* [ Pop ]
305
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,794
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
306
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,370
Hey. What the hell's
with you, man?
307
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:54,207
Can you not see
all this prime ass
a foot from your face?
308
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,243
Yeah, man, I see it.
It's-- It's pretty cool.
309
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,112
Yeah, it's cool.
You should be
tearin' it up.
310
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,648
You guys, it's just--
Remember last year
we came up here?
311
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:05,852
I had the time of my life.
I did stuff I never would have
dreamed I would have ever done.
312
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,854
I kind of figured
it would change me.
313
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,823
Yes, okay.
So you got drunk
and you ran naked, right?
314
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,226
But you blew it
with a really hot
sorority chick...
315
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,395
to run home and have sex
with your little girlfriend.
316
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,598
That might have won you
points in high school,
but this isn't high school.
317
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,169
- No.
- I guess you guys are right.
318
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:25,705
College is your one chance
to start over. You get to
hit the reset button on life.
319
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,674
You can be anybody
you wanna be.
320
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,342
I never thought of it
like that before.
321
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:32,679
Yeah. Here. Slug that.
322
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,518
- Attaboy.
Julie, this is my cousin Erik.
- [ Woman ] Hi, Erik.
323
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,388
I just wanted you to know,
Erik voted for you
in the hottie contest,
324
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,756
and since he's, like,
the ladies' man
of the family,
325
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,360
I totally trust
his taste.
Thanks, cutie.
326
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:50,797
You wanna dance, gorgeous?
I'd love to.
327
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,334
Anybody you wanna be.
[ Mouthing Words ]
328
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:58,271
[ Man ]
*Groove, groove, groove
329
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,273
*To the music
330
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,309
*Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
331
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,577
*To the music
332
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,679
Wow. you can really
put that away.
333
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,749
Kiddin' me?
This stuff is
like water to me.
334
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,185
*To the music--
335
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:16,323
* [ Ends ]
[ Crowd Clamoring ]
336
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,458
Hey, hey.
Everybody settle down
for a second.
337
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,760
We're just having
a little minor
technical glitch.
338
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,862
No big deal.
We'll get everything
fixed up in a minute.
339
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,864
[ Man Laughs ]
340
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,300
I don't think so, Stifler.
341
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,470
You see, you overloaded
your prehistoric circuits.
342
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,505
I'm afraid your music
won't be coming on...
343
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,475
for the rest of the night.
Don't-Don't listen to him.
344
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,710
We'll get everything
fixed in a minute.
That won't matter.
345
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:41,714
Because by Jake's calculations,
based on the amount of kegs
and liquor you bought,
346
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,418
you should be running out
just about... now.
347
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:48,955
- Bullshit.
- [ Sobbing ]
The fucking kegs are dry.
348
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,825
[ Crowd Clamoring ]
We're out of fucking booze!
349
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,296
- Aah!
- [ Groaning ]
350
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,732
Settle down. It's fine.
We'll make a beer run.
They could do that.
351
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,934
Or you can all come
to the geek house,
352
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,937
where we have enough liquor
to last a week, along with...
353
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,007
all the champagne
you can drink.
354
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,744
We also have a heated pool,
and enough swimsuits
for everyone.
355
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,847
That is, if you even
want to wear one.
356
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,717
[ Cheering ]
[ Screams ]
357
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,322
Are you fucking kidding me?
358
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,458
It's your choice, people.
Stay here and get puked on--
359
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,260
Okay, I'm out of here.
I'm so sorry.
360
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,829
Or come party V.I.P. style.
361
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,231
[ Cheering ]
362
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,574
* [ Rock ]
363
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,644
Fuckin' Edgar.
[ Growls ]
364
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,448
Prick really knows how
to throw that money around, huh?
365
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:51,418
Oh, yeah.
Probably doesn't help
that numb nuts here...
366
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,053
barfed all over
the chicks, either.
367
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,022
I'm sorry about that.
368
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:59,759
- You look disgusting.
-[ Groaning ]
369
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:03,796
- Cryin' out loud, man.
- I'll clean it up.
370
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,635
[ Groaning ]
371
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,006
Not again.
372
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,979
Mmm. Mornin', sexy.
373
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,617
Some party, huh?
374
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,886
Hey, baby.
How you doin'?
375
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,857
No. No, no, no.
376
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,760
* [ Man Singing In Spanish ]
377
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,062
How you feelin' there, Cuz?
378
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,599
A lot better. Thanks.
379
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,968
No need for thanks.
We're family.
Right now I gotta run.
380
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,672
I gotta go down to the basement,
take care of some
official Beta business.
381
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,875
- Have some of Peaches' eggs.
- Okay.
382
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,678
All right. Thanks, Peaches.
Adios, guapo.
383
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,914
[ Dwight ]
Oh, buddy.
384
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,517
[ Laughs ]
[ Man ]
Whoo!
385
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,786
I love this place.
Attaboy.
386
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,954
Off the hook.
So, uh-- So, guys.
387
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,990
The hard-on champ
is in?
Yeah.
388
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,925
Aye, aye.
Yeah.
389
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,898
* [ Dance ]
[ Dwight ]
Yeah. I love this guy.
390
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,901
Beta! I love Beta!
[ Laughter ]
391
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:16,836
[ Man ]
He had the best rack
at the party.
392
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,506
Fuckin' love Beta, man!
393
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,508
[ Laughter ]
Shut up. Shut up.
394
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:24,076
Everyone calm down.
I told you I didn't
want to drink.
395
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:26,646
Look how the pig squeals.
Look how the pig squeals.
396
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,648
All in favor
of Bobby Coolidge.
397
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,950
- Man, oh, yeah.
- He's in.
398
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,988
[ Dwight ]
All right, all right.
399
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,591
[ Man ] Oh!
[ Man #2 ]
Jesus, man.
400
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:43,696
Whoo!
[ Wesley ] This guy really
knows how to work a room.
401
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,865
Give him a bid.
He'll be a pussy magnet,
buddy.
402
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,068
Yeah!
[ Laughs ]
403
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:52,539
[ Screams ]
[ Man, Laughing ]
Oh, no.
404
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:56,075
[ Dwight ]
All right, that's my cousin.
Take it easy.
405
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,077
No offense,
brother, okay?
406
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,113
But I don't know
if your cousin is up
for the challenge, man.
407
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,850
I'm with Bull on this one.
408
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:06,853
I mean, he's a nice kid,
but he passed up sleeping
with Brandy, man.
409
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,422
All right, all right,
all right.
410
00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:12,725
Look, I know Erik missed
his big chance to, like,
sleep with the one girl...
411
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,694
that I'm assuming
everybody would lop off
your left nut to bang.
412
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,996
Am I right?
[ Bull ]
Two nuts.
413
00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:19,866
- All right, does that mean
he's not Beta material?
-[ Betas ] Yes!
414
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:24,136
He was young and dumb
and in love. He's a--
He's a late bloomer.
415
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:26,606
I think he's gonna
surprise you this semester.
416
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,841
And anyway, he's a legacy,
so he's automatically
gettin' a bid,
417
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:30,943
so you can all fuck off.
418
00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:33,880
Aye?
Yeah.
Aye, aye.
419
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,949
[ Dwight ]
Yeah, that's what
I thought, bitches.
420
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,418
[ Toilet Flushes ]
421
00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:46,192
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
422
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:51,598
- We have to stop
meeting like this.
- [ Chuckling ] Yeah.
423
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:54,601
Are you okay?
Yeah. I just had
a really rough night.
424
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:57,670
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
425
00:23:57,704 --> 00:24:00,473
You know, I think
Denise has a crush
on your friend Cooze.
426
00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,809
She thinks he's sweet.
[ Laughs ]
427
00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:05,645
- Denise thinks
Cooze is sweet.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
428
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:11,183
Uh--
429
00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,185
Wait. Ashley--
Erik, I--
430
00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,755
-I've been thinking--
- I'm just thinking. Do--
431
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:19,492
- Do you wanna go
out with me once?
- Yeah.
432
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:22,829
- Really?
- Yeah. That would be
really nice.
433
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,898
Okay. Keep, uh--
You have really
pretty teeth, by the way.
434
00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:29,869
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
435
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,174
[ Alarm Bell Ringing ]
436
00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,948
-[ Ringing Continues ]
- [ Clamoring ]
437
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,017
What's goin' on?
Oh, man. This sucks.
438
00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:48,688
Hey, guys, don't go that way.
This way is quicker.
439
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:52,158
[ Yawns ]
I was just dreamin'
about this great sandwich.
440
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:56,028
[ Groaning ]
441
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:58,798
[ Groans ]
Wait a second.
Where are we?
442
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:00,867
I don't see
any sandwiches here.
443
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:05,037
Hey, guys.
You wanna see something?
444
00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:08,074
- [ Gasps ]
-[ Cooze ]
Yes.
445
00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:11,277
That is--
[ Sizzling ]
[ All Groan ]
446
00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:27,994
Gentlemen,
447
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:30,730
today is the first day
of the rest of your lives.
448
00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:36,068
You are the select few
who have been chosen
to pledge the Beta house.
449
00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:38,170
Beta, baby!
450
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:44,043
Now, most fraternities
do the pledging thing...
451
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:46,112
a little bit differently
than we do.
452
00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:48,280
Most pledging
consists of...
453
00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:52,351
hate-filled mental
and physical hazing
designed to break you down.
454
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:56,288
But here at Beta,
I, Dwight Stifler,
your pledge master,
455
00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:59,759
have devised an elaborate
scientific plan...
456
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:03,095
to build teamwork
and brotherhood.
457
00:26:04,196 --> 00:26:06,198
Gentlemen, I give you...
458
00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:08,367
your pledge board.
459
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,303
[ Murmuring ]
460
00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:13,940
- It's huge.
-On this pledge board
are 50 tasks...
461
00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:15,842
that you and your
pledge brothers
must complete...
462
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:18,210
by semester's end
if you wanna become Betas.
463
00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:20,880
To start things off,
464
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:24,784
I say we begin
with my personal favorite--
Number 37.
465
00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,886
[ Man ]
*Put your hands up like
466
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,622
*Do it how you do it
when you *
467
00:26:29,656 --> 00:26:32,091
*Uh, uh, uh, yeah
468
00:26:32,124 --> 00:26:34,160
*Put your hands up here
Put 'em, put 'em high-- *
469
00:26:34,193 --> 00:26:36,796
Okay, so here's the lowdown.
470
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:40,332
One of you has got to get
you ass signed by a stripper,
with photo proof.
471
00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:42,802
All right?
472
00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:45,271
All right, we're gonna
go get a drink. Wesley?
473
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:49,942
Don'tbother us.
474
00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:53,412
- Okay, who's gonna try
and do this?
-* [ Continues ]
475
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:56,148
Oh, you guys, Igotthis.
476
00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:58,217
Who's got a pen?
Ah. That'll do.
477
00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:04,056
Hey, baby, how's about
signin' my ass
while I'm up here?
478
00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:12,865
- Whoa!
- [ Clamoring ]
479
00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:14,967
She got Cooze!
We gotta help him.
Bobby.
480
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:18,637
- [ Groans ]
- Ooh! Down goes fatty.
481
00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:22,675
Stripper brawl!
482
00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:28,180
* [ Hard Rock ]
483
00:27:28,214 --> 00:27:30,282
Ooh! Cousin got clothes-lined.
That's a shame.
484
00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:34,353
[ Grunts ]
485
00:27:34,386 --> 00:27:36,322
That's gonna leave
a big bruise.
486
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,362
Those girls
are wild tonight.
487
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,735
I used to fuck
girls like you in prison.
488
00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:51,103
[ Groans ]
489
00:27:51,137 --> 00:27:53,806
Oh, I love
a good stripper brawl.
490
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,108
Who doesn't?
491
00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:59,879
-[ Cooze ]
She started it.
- Here's your fuckin' shoe!
492
00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:03,182
What? I didn't do anything.
You charged that stripper
with a pen,
493
00:28:03,215 --> 00:28:06,085
like you were gonna
shove it in her ass.
494
00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:08,187
If her panties had smelled
like waffles you'd have done
something about it.
495
00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:10,322
Guys, shut up.
Shut up.
[ Chattering ]
496
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,759
Fat idiot.
Ow!
497
00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,794
There you go. See?
Bad things happen to--
Hey there, gorgeous.
498
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:17,997
You work here?
Yeah, sweetie.
499
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,166
You see, we're pledging
the Beta house right now,
500
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,068
and one of our tasks
is to get our ass signed...
501
00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:24,470
by a strip--
professional dancer...
502
00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:26,906
like yourself.
503
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:30,242
So I was just, you know,
wondering if maybe
you'd do me the honor.
504
00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:32,879
That's a different approach
than the boys usually take
in this place.
505
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:34,981
Bend over.
506
00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:38,084
Thanks.
My name's Erik Stifler,
by the way.
507
00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:40,853
Can I get a shot
for the yearbook?
508
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,823
[ Chuckles ]
[ Camera Beeps ]
509
00:28:43,856 --> 00:28:47,426
-[ Bobby ] Nice smile.
- You any relation
to Dwight Stifler?
510
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,929
- He's my cousin.
- Hey, Stifler.
511
00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:53,032
Candy, how are you, sweetheart?
Good to see you.
512
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,434
I can see where
he gets his charm from.
513
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,971
You come
see me soon, okay?
You know I will.
514
00:28:59,005 --> 00:29:04,210
All right, boys.
Hey, congratulations.
Task 37 in the bag.
515
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:08,014
Good job, boys.
That's our first task completed.
516
00:29:08,047 --> 00:29:11,017
I think that
stripper's implant
broke my face.
517
00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,964
- Task 15 is go.
- [ Honking ]
518
00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:32,839
- Steal an ostrich.
- Have sex in the dean's office.
519
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:35,942
-Serenade a woman at the 901.
- Drink a gallon of milk
without pissing.
520
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:39,211
- Do a traditional dance
at the International Club.
- Open an illegal casino.
521
00:29:39,245 --> 00:29:41,013
Drive down to Mexico
and get a tattoo.
522
00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:43,850
Get so drunk
you piss your pants.
523
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:05,204
* [ Classical ]
524
00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:21,253
- Sweet Caesar's ghost.
- [ Honks ]
525
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,289
- [ Honking ]
- [ Screaming ]
526
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:30,162
Fifteen-- check.
Check.
527
00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:32,331
Sixteen-- check.
528
00:30:32,364 --> 00:30:34,967
[ Speaking
Foreign Language ]
529
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,876
Mmm.
530
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:46,879
Hmm!
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
531
00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:54,520
Who's that guy?
He's my Swahili instructor.
532
00:30:54,553 --> 00:30:56,488
I have my proficiency exam
next week.
533
00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:59,158
Nice.
Yeah.
534
00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,228
Hey, what's--
What's this golden hammer
doing in here?
535
00:31:02,261 --> 00:31:04,463
Uh, it's from
the Greek Olympiad.
536
00:31:04,496 --> 00:31:06,598
It was, like, a series
of competitions...
537
00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:08,600
involving skill
and deviant behavior.
538
00:31:08,634 --> 00:31:11,470
They got really out of hand,
so the university banned
them for life.
539
00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,239
The Betas were legendary
at 'em though.
We never lost.
540
00:31:13,272 --> 00:31:15,307
Cool.
Yeah.
541
00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:17,343
Oh, and remember, Erik--
542
00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:22,248
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
543
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,987
Hmm?
Yeah. Yeah.
544
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,056
[ Sniffs ]
545
00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:33,125
Swahili.
546
00:31:33,159 --> 00:31:35,327
* [ Rock ]
547
00:31:35,361 --> 00:31:37,997
[ Erik ]
This place is swell, isn't it?
[ Ashley ] Yeah.
548
00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:41,033
Look how juicy.
Sucking the crab.
549
00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:42,668
Wow.
This place is fun.
550
00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:45,037
Yeah. Yeah, this place
is awesome.
551
00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:48,941
I thought you'd
like it here, you know?
552
00:31:48,975 --> 00:31:51,243
- I like this mallet.
- [ Groans ]
553
00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:53,245
[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
554
00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:55,381
Mmm.
Here.
555
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,317
It's all right.
Doesn't really
taste that bad.
556
00:31:58,350 --> 00:32:00,552
[ Laughing ]
Dude, I'm telling you--
557
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,588
This chick
can't get enough of me.
558
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:05,057
I did her again last night.
559
00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:07,259
I can't believe that.
You're the man.
560
00:32:07,293 --> 00:32:09,461
I think I know that girl.
561
00:32:09,495 --> 00:32:12,064
You know, not all frat guys
are like those guys.
I know.
562
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,233
I guess I just have
a jaded opinion.
563
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,468
Really? Why's that?
564
00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:18,570
It's just the typical story.
565
00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:20,572
Boy meets girl.
Boy goes off to college,
joins a frat.
566
00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:23,242
Starts sleeping
with every girl he can.
567
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,711
Girl finds out
and dumps his ass
during winter break.
568
00:32:25,744 --> 00:32:30,049
- Ooh.
- But that was high school.
I'm much older and wiser now.
569
00:32:30,082 --> 00:32:33,519
Right. Older and wiser, and...
you're on a date with a guy
who's pledging a frat.
570
00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:36,488
I know.
And I'm watching you.
571
00:32:36,522 --> 00:32:38,224
Dine and ditch.
Yeah.
572
00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,758
[ Erik ]
Yeah, it's one of my favorite--
573
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,694
Ow!
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
574
00:32:42,728 --> 00:32:45,464
Ooh, it's hot.
A little help here.
575
00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:48,167
* [ Soft Rock ]
576
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:54,073
You are just the sweetest.
577
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:56,175
You just bring it
out in me, babe.
578
00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:00,279
[ Man ]
*I was captured
the moment we met *
579
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,314
- Perfect.
- Yeah?
580
00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:07,319
Um-- Careful.
581
00:33:07,353 --> 00:33:10,589
My feet are real sensitive.
Really?
582
00:33:10,622 --> 00:33:12,391
Yeah.
583
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:17,563
*By the way
Just in case you care *
584
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:20,632
-*I took a dive
in your deep blue eyes *
- Oh, my.
585
00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:23,035
*Never comin' up for air
586
00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:25,104
- I love foot massages.
-*I lost myself
587
00:33:25,137 --> 00:33:27,573
* [ Continues ]
[ Moans ]
588
00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:31,677
Oh, my. Oh, my.
589
00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:36,715
*One sweet kiss
took away my breath *
590
00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:40,419
*And you drew me in
with your tenderness *
591
00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:44,256
* [ Continues ]
Um, I can't.
592
00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:53,732
I'm sorry.
593
00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:57,503
No, that's cool.
It's totally fine. Really.
594
00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:01,707
Here.
595
00:34:01,740 --> 00:34:04,776
Let me just
take care of you.
596
00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:07,713
Okay.
597
00:34:07,746 --> 00:34:09,748
[ Laughs ]
Whoo.
598
00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:13,719
*Whenever I feel your touch
599
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:17,423
*Whenever I'm with you
600
00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,725
You like that?
God, yeah.
601
00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:22,261
You do that almost as good
as I do.
602
00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:31,270
* [ Woman Singing Ballad ]
603
00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,339
How you feelin'?
604
00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:36,342
Hi. Good. Thanks.
605
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:38,510
Here. Let me see.
Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
606
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,679
Ashley, you really don't
need to do anything.
Oh, my God, Erik.
607
00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:43,582
- You have to put something
on that.
- No, it's a little red--
608
00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:46,252
Here. Let me.
609
00:34:48,354 --> 00:34:50,422
It's really not necessary.
610
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,291
[ Inhales ]
Ooh.
611
00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:54,360
Does it hurt?
612
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,395
No. It's just really cold.
613
00:34:57,396 --> 00:35:00,166
Does that feel better?
614
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:03,169
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
615
00:35:03,202 --> 00:35:05,904
Wow.
[ Laughs ]
616
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:08,907
Oh, man.
I didn't even touch it.
617
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:12,311
No, it's no big deal.
I guess I should just take it
as a compliment, right?
618
00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:14,546
I'm sorry. Yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's cool.
619
00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:19,651
Wow. That cream feels good.
620
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:23,289
Ash, you might want to--
Just relax.
621
00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:25,324
It's still hot.
622
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,563
[ Moaning ]
God.
623
00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:40,739
[ Moans ]
624
00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:44,310
[ Moans ]
625
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,721
Oh, my God! Mr. Biggles!
626
00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:08,934
This is really,
really embarrassing.
No, it's okay. It's okay.
627
00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:12,371
I just haven't seen
anything like that.
628
00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,906
Well, I was a virgin
until last year,
629
00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:19,811
and then my girlfriend
dumped me about four months ago.
630
00:36:20,946 --> 00:36:23,449
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
631
00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:26,218
Are you telling me
that you haven't--
632
00:36:26,252 --> 00:36:28,754
In four months?
633
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,889
Well, you see,
there was this, uh,
634
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:35,694
incident that made
masturbation very "taboo"--
635
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:38,230
[ Laughs ]
in my household.
636
00:36:38,264 --> 00:36:41,400
Well, you have more
self-control than most people.
637
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:45,937
I'm really sorry
about Mr. Biggles.
638
00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:48,340
Yeah.
639
00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,309
Ooh.
640
00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,744
Um-- Here's--
641
00:36:52,778 --> 00:36:54,980
No. It's--
Right.
642
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,618
[ Bull ]
Oh, baby, I love you.
643
00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,954
- Baby, why won't you
tell me you love me too?
- Bull, have you seen Stifler?
644
00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:06,325
- Uh, he's in a meeting.
- What meeting would he be at?
645
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:08,660
I don't know.
Something important.
646
00:37:08,694 --> 00:37:11,330
And it was
after my parents--
647
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:15,467
Well, they had to fire
the fourth landscaping crew--
648
00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:17,636
um--
649
00:37:17,669 --> 00:37:19,771
because they caught me
with them,
650
00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:22,608
and that's when I knew...
651
00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:25,311
that I had a problem.
652
00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:29,748
But I have been sex-free
for two years now,
653
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,684
and, you know,
never felt better.
654
00:37:32,718 --> 00:37:34,786
Whoo.
[ Laughs ]
655
00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:41,560
You are so brave.
656
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:46,498
Get it in there! Yeah!
* [ Rap ]
657
00:37:46,532 --> 00:37:50,569
Faster. Faster.
I'm goin' as fast as I can.
658
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:53,271
Faster, bad boy.
[ Laughs ]
659
00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:57,509
Oh, my God.
Faster, I said.
660
00:37:57,543 --> 00:37:59,578
Oh! I think I'm gonna--
661
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,681
- You're gonna break it.
- Ooh! Yes! Yes!
662
00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,650
Ooh, God, yes.
663
00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:07,319
[ Giggles ]
Oh!
664
00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:10,322
Oh, boy. Whoo!
665
00:38:12,391 --> 00:38:15,427
[ Moaning, Giggling ]
666
00:38:20,366 --> 00:38:22,434
Call yourself a man?
667
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:25,704
Get back here
and fuck me.
[ Giggles ]
668
00:38:25,737 --> 00:38:27,706
[ Laughs ]
669
00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,941
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right, listen.
670
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:34,112
I just did three times.
Okay, I'm gonna go
get an ice pack,
671
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,014
and then I'll be
right back.
672
00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:38,417
You know a secret?
673
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,852
Ice packs are for pussies.
674
00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:42,988
[ Both Laugh ]
675
00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:46,458
Oh, your friend--
He wants to come play.
676
00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:48,427
I wanna see you again.
[ Growls ]
677
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,396
[ Laughing ]
Oh, yeah.
678
00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:52,431
[ Growling ]
[ Laughing ]
679
00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:54,400
You're bad.
I'm a grizzly bear.
680
00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:57,436
I'm gonna steal
a picnic basket
full of orgasms.
681
00:38:57,469 --> 00:39:00,572
[ Growls ]
Okay, lay your head back.
Lay your head back.
682
00:39:00,606 --> 00:39:03,008
[ Giggling ]
Ready? You ready for it?
Oh, it's coming.
683
00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:05,644
All right,
hands and feet
inside the tram.
684
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,380
Next stop:
Penetration Station, baby.
685
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,653
Hey! Get back here!
686
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:21,126
Stifler, I forgot
to tell you--
Whoa.
687
00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:24,463
Get your ass...
688
00:39:24,496 --> 00:39:26,465
over here, punk.
Okay.
689
00:39:26,498 --> 00:39:28,834
Oh!
[ Screams ]
690
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,902
[ Paper Tearing ]
691
00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:36,007
Dude, on her teddy bear?
Really?
692
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,644
Dude, he hasn't
busted a nut in,
like, four months.
693
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:41,046
What do you think I should do?
Man, you gotta
beat the bishop.
694
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:44,616
Yeah, you need
to punch that clown--
a lot.
695
00:39:44,650 --> 00:39:46,885
What are you
talkin' about?
696
00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,621
You need to masturbate, dude.
A lot.
A lot.
697
00:39:49,655 --> 00:39:52,090
So next time you won't
blow your load when you're
rounding first base.
698
00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:54,025
Yeah.
699
00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:04,903
*Oh, I can't wait
till the sun goes down *
700
00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:10,642
*You and me
No one else around *
701
00:40:10,676 --> 00:40:13,879
*Turn the lights down low
Just gotta clean the pipes.
702
00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:17,148
*I'm gonna love you
all night long *
703
00:40:17,182 --> 00:40:19,485
[ Chorus ]
*Gonna love you
704
00:40:19,518 --> 00:40:22,153
*Gonna love you
all night long *
705
00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:24,490
*Gonna love you
706
00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:27,459
*Gonna love you
all night long *
707
00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:33,932
[ Knocking ]
708
00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:37,903
Who is it?
Hey, it's Ashley.
709
00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:40,071
We were gonna hang out,
remember?
Ye--
710
00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:44,676
Yeah. Yeah, I remember.
711
00:40:44,710 --> 00:40:47,479
I-- I lost track
of time, Ashley.
I'll be right there.
712
00:40:47,513 --> 00:40:50,048
- Are you okay in there?
- Yeah.
713
00:40:50,081 --> 00:40:53,084
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine. Um--
714
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:56,722
- Just gimme one second, okay?
- Erik, are you naked?
715
00:40:56,755 --> 00:40:59,024
I'm just putting on
my T-shirt right now.
716
00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:01,226
Uh-- There it is.
717
00:41:02,761 --> 00:41:04,796
Hi.
Hi.
718
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,932
Can I come in?
Uh, no. Uh--
719
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,801
The place
is actually a mess.
Bobby's disgusting.
720
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,970
Oh, yeah.
But I know
a cool place we can go.
721
00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:13,972
Cool.
722
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,774
[ Door Closes ]
723
00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:19,511
* [ Woman Singing Pop ]
724
00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:21,279
Yeah. All right.
725
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:25,116
Right hand, yellow.
726
00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:28,019
Ooh. I love this game.
727
00:41:28,053 --> 00:41:31,189
Don't you fall,
or you're losin'
those boxers.
728
00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:34,526
[ Laughs ]
Oh, really?
729
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,029
[ Groans ]
Are you okay?
730
00:41:38,063 --> 00:41:40,599
Uh, yeah. Ow.
731
00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,634
Hi.
Hi.
732
00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:54,112
Oh.
733
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,152
I'm sorry.
734
00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:03,955
What-- Are you--
Are you a virgin
or something? Or--
735
00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:07,092
No.
[ Exhales ]
736
00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:09,327
It's just, when I--
737
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,563
When I get too excited--
738
00:42:13,298 --> 00:42:15,200
Oh, it's embarrassing.
739
00:42:20,806 --> 00:42:22,941
Here.
740
00:42:22,974 --> 00:42:25,276
Let me just
take care of you again.
741
00:42:25,310 --> 00:42:27,178
Okay.
742
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:31,783
[ Laughing ]
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
743
00:42:31,817 --> 00:42:34,953
Cheers. Cheers.
744
00:42:34,986 --> 00:42:37,288
Mmm.
Mmm.
[ Laughs ]
745
00:42:37,322 --> 00:42:39,625
[ Man ]
*Something in your eyes
Let me get that for you--
746
00:42:39,658 --> 00:42:42,861
*Makes me realize
A little spillage.
No big deal.
747
00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:45,130
[ Man ]
*The stars
always shine brighter *
748
00:42:45,163 --> 00:42:48,299
*When you're near
749
00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:51,169
[ Gasps ]
It's not gonna
go off again, is it?
750
00:42:51,202 --> 00:42:54,139
Absolutely not.
I've been practicing
my self-control-- a lot.
751
00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:56,074
A lot?
A lot.
752
00:42:56,107 --> 00:42:59,044
*Is all I need
753
00:43:00,145 --> 00:43:02,247
*You're my everything
754
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:08,053
*You're all I've been
waiting for *
755
00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:11,723
* [ Continues ]
756
00:43:11,757 --> 00:43:14,726
*You're my everything
[ Giggles ]
757
00:43:16,828 --> 00:43:19,264
[ Clears Throat ]
Come on.
758
00:43:19,297 --> 00:43:22,067
Just how much
have you been working
on your self-control?
759
00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:26,638
I'm really sorry. It's--
760
00:43:26,672 --> 00:43:28,406
It's not working.
[ Laughs ]
761
00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:31,710
My stupid friends--
They said that
if I would--
762
00:43:31,743 --> 00:43:34,813
Erik, it-- It's okay.
It happens.
763
00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:36,715
Wine?
764
00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:42,220
[ Helicopters Overhead ]
765
00:43:46,191 --> 00:43:48,159
All right, boys.
We got a live one here.
766
00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:50,662
Two klicks north.
Three klicks east.
767
00:43:50,696 --> 00:43:52,831
All right.
Three klicks east.
768
00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:57,368
[ Dwight ]
Let's blast her--
The big, giant ones.
769
00:43:57,402 --> 00:43:59,270
Fire in the hole.
770
00:44:01,072 --> 00:44:03,909
Oh!
771
00:44:03,942 --> 00:44:07,779
- Oh, my God.
- [ Laughing ]
772
00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:09,848
[ Inhaling ]
Ahh.
773
00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:12,784
I love the smell
of boobies in the morning.
774
00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:14,686
Hey, so how's it goin'
with Denise?
Mmm.
775
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:16,955
Well, okay,
so we hooked up,
776
00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,357
and...
777
00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:23,762
- she gave me
a couple hand jobs.
- [ Laughing ] Hand jobs?
778
00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:25,864
They're actually
the best hand jobs
I've ever had in my life.
779
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:29,234
- Oh, really?
- Shut up.
780
00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:32,303
The only problem is,
I tried to stick my hand
down her pants--
781
00:44:32,337 --> 00:44:35,006
She pulls my hands away...
782
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,909
and says
she's embarrassed.
Uh-oh.
783
00:44:37,943 --> 00:44:41,079
Maybe she has an
abnormally large bush.
784
00:44:41,112 --> 00:44:44,149
Yeah, or maybe she's got
a yeast infection. Ooh.
Ugh. Come on.
785
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,853
- Maybe she's got a dick.
- Huh?
786
00:44:47,886 --> 00:44:50,121
What?Crying Game,
Boys Don't Cry?
787
00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:52,190
- That's based
on true stories, boys.
- No.
788
00:44:52,223 --> 00:44:55,160
No. There's no way.
Hey, man, maybe she's
a hermaphrodite.
789
00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:58,029
Transvestite?
Little Shanghai surprise?
790
00:44:58,063 --> 00:45:01,499
You said yourself
she gives you the best hand jobs
you ever had in your whole life.
791
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:05,303
- Yeah. So?
- So how do you think
she got so good at it?
792
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:09,474
- Probably from workin'
her own gear.
- [ Laughing ]
793
00:45:09,507 --> 00:45:12,410
So you guys think I might have
been hooking up with a dude
this whole time?
794
00:45:12,443 --> 00:45:15,146
Maybe. There's only
one way to find out.
795
00:45:15,180 --> 00:45:18,483
You gotta get into those pants.
796
00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:21,219
Oh, wait. This is too perfect.
Load it up.
Load it up right now.
797
00:45:21,252 --> 00:45:24,055
[ All Laughing ]
798
00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:27,759
[ Dwight ]
Sorry!
799
00:45:27,793 --> 00:45:30,762
-Whoo! Yeah!
- [ All Laughing ]
800
00:45:30,796 --> 00:45:34,966
* [ Man Singing Ballad ]
801
00:45:41,172 --> 00:45:43,408
[ Moans ]
802
00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:45,343
I want you to go
down on me, Cooze.
803
00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:47,312
Are you sure?
Uh-huh.
804
00:45:47,345 --> 00:45:50,481
'Cause I can wait.
No. I want you
down there now.
805
00:45:50,515 --> 00:45:52,383
Okay.
806
00:45:54,052 --> 00:45:56,021
That's it, Cooze.
807
00:46:00,558 --> 00:46:02,427
[ Muttering ]
808
00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:05,496
That's it, Cooze.
809
00:46:05,530 --> 00:46:07,933
Suck my cock!
810
00:46:07,966 --> 00:46:10,768
She's got a dick!
Hey, are you okay?
811
00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:16,274
Oh, my God.
I just had the worst nightmare.
812
00:46:16,307 --> 00:46:18,877
What was it about?
813
00:46:18,910 --> 00:46:21,880
And who's got a dick?
I do.
814
00:46:23,414 --> 00:46:26,517
[ Screaming ]
815
00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,858
Oh, my God.
816
00:46:32,891 --> 00:46:36,461
I can't take this anymore.
[ Sighs ]
817
00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:42,033
[ Phone Rings ]
818
00:46:44,102 --> 00:46:47,138
[ Ringing Continues ]
819
00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:57,115
Hello?
[ Ashley ] I thought you
were gonna call me.
820
00:46:57,148 --> 00:47:01,219
Oh, hey. Uh, yeah.
I-- I fell asleep.
821
00:47:01,252 --> 00:47:03,221
I'm sorry.
[ Knock On Door ]
822
00:47:03,254 --> 00:47:05,423
Were you dreaming
about me?
823
00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:07,592
Maybe.
824
00:47:07,625 --> 00:47:09,494
Hey, can you hold on
for one sec?
825
00:47:11,997 --> 00:47:14,099
'Cause this...
826
00:47:15,433 --> 00:47:17,135
isn't a dream.
827
00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:25,243
Oh, God.
That's not mine.
That's Bobby's.
828
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,988
Uh, that's not mine.
829
00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,931
[ Chuckles ]
830
00:47:53,104 --> 00:47:56,975
- Whoo!
- Guys! What the hell
are you doing?
831
00:47:57,008 --> 00:48:01,446
Number 33, baby.
We got a chance to do Number 33,
but we gotta go now.
832
00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:04,115
Half-naked girl here.
Sorry, Ashley.
833
00:48:04,149 --> 00:48:06,184
Dude, the manager just called.
He's got an opening.
834
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:08,486
We haven't even
rehearsed for that bit yet.
835
00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:10,655
It's our only chance, man.
[ Whispers ]
Do it.
836
00:48:10,688 --> 00:48:13,558
Really?
837
00:48:13,591 --> 00:48:16,427
Ashley, it is Number 33.
838
00:48:16,461 --> 00:48:21,466
Maybe... we could
finish later, or something?
839
00:48:21,499 --> 00:48:23,568
It's cool.
840
00:48:25,303 --> 00:48:27,572
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm coming with you.
841
00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:31,309
We rocked that place.
842
00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:33,478
[ Screaming ]
843
00:48:33,511 --> 00:48:37,715
Number 46:
Sex in the stacks.
Chalk it up.
844
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,651
*I just put on
my night face *
845
00:48:40,685 --> 00:48:44,689
Number 26:
Receive a golden shower.
846
00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:48,293
Twenty-seven:
Perform a Cleveland steamer.
Check.
847
00:48:48,326 --> 00:48:50,528
Get a panda in the grotto.
848
00:48:50,561 --> 00:48:55,967
Thirty: Get a "blumpkin."
After corned beef.
It was disgusting.
849
00:48:56,001 --> 00:48:58,403
-All right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
850
00:48:58,436 --> 00:49:01,006
By the power granted to me
by the great country of Canada,
851
00:49:01,039 --> 00:49:05,610
I now pronounce you
life partners.
[ Cheering ]
852
00:49:05,643 --> 00:49:08,446
- Would you like to
seal it with a kiss?
- [ Chuckling ]
853
00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:13,484
Number 41:
Make it official.
854
00:49:13,518 --> 00:49:16,554
[ Chuckles ]
'Cause I'm a gentleman.
855
00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:22,127
Wow. You boys are
such an inspiration.
856
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,329
I think it's time we do a little
mid-semester celebrating.
What do you think?
857
00:49:24,362 --> 00:49:26,331
Yes.
Definitely.
858
00:49:26,364 --> 00:49:28,199
* [ Hip-hop ]
859
00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:31,569
*Let me get to work, baby
I don't wanna waste time *
860
00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:36,274
*I've been known to flirt
Every time I go I face time
See whatever works *
861
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,677
Stifler. I'm afraid
I gotta see everyone's I.D.'s.
862
00:49:39,710 --> 00:49:43,381
- What?
-Come on, Manni.
You're joking, right?
863
00:49:43,414 --> 00:49:46,417
I'm afraid not.
You see, the new ownership
of this establishment...
864
00:49:46,451 --> 00:49:49,054
doesn't condone
underage drinking.
865
00:49:49,087 --> 00:49:52,757
Officers, please escort
these minors from the premises.
866
00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:55,426
-Can I touch your gun?
- All right, okay.
-[ Edgar ] Bye-bye.
867
00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:57,628
You're fuckin'
with traditions, Edgar.
868
00:49:57,662 --> 00:50:00,498
I'm not just fucking
with your traditions.
869
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:03,368
I'm tearing them down.
[ Chuckles ]
870
00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,703
Take him away.
871
00:50:07,572 --> 00:50:10,341
You know, you are
way too classy...
872
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:14,345
and have way too nice of
a body to be hanging out
with a douche bag.
873
00:50:14,379 --> 00:50:17,648
[ Chuckling ]
Don't listen to him, honey.
Your body isn't that great.
874
00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,584
I'll have a gimlet, please.
Thank you.
875
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,488
Stifler.
What?
876
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:25,723
- Your lawyer's here.
- Excellent. Thanks, Marty.
Send him in.
877
00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:30,361
You have a lawyer?
878
00:50:31,829 --> 00:50:34,732
Thanks for coming.
I'm glad you got here.
879
00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:37,335
Well, you know me,
I'm always down for the cause.
880
00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,838
- Betas for life, baby.
- Betas for life.
881
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,474
- Mr. Levenstein.
- Hey, Eric. How's your
mom and dad?
882
00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:45,743
They're good.
They're really good, actually.
883
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:49,280
Well, that's good.
Hey, guys, this is Noah.
He's a Beta alum.
884
00:50:49,314 --> 00:50:51,849
He's our house counsel
and consigliere. This guy...
885
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,585
has gotten us out of more shit
than you can even imagine.
886
00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:57,555
Well, you Beta boys
do keep me busy.
That's for sure.
887
00:50:57,588 --> 00:50:59,724
Now, I've just talked
to the district attorney.
888
00:50:59,757 --> 00:51:02,727
He's an old school chum of mine.
He's willing to drop
all the charges...
889
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:07,132
if you promise
never to set foot
in the Silver Dollar again.
890
00:51:08,533 --> 00:51:11,169
This is ridiculous.
891
00:51:11,202 --> 00:51:13,371
Where am I gonna
have Sunday brunch?
892
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:17,242
Oh, look, I know you're upset.
They do have a great omelet bar.
That's for sure.
893
00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:21,179
- But, uh, you're just
gonna have to give it up.
- No, we can't.
894
00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:26,551
These geeks,
these geeks are messin'
with the Beta way of life.
895
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:28,319
You want to, uh,
step inside, Noah?
896
00:51:28,353 --> 00:51:30,388
Oh, it's open?
Yeah.
897
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,324
Oh, thanks, Marty.
898
00:51:33,358 --> 00:51:36,794
If you wanna grab a sandwich,
I'll just be a minute.
899
00:51:36,827 --> 00:51:39,697
Look, fellas,
900
00:51:39,730 --> 00:51:43,834
there is a bigger picture here
than the "Beta way of life."
901
00:51:43,868 --> 00:51:46,571
Is that what you thought
when you were in the Beta house?
902
00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:50,575
No.
903
00:51:50,608 --> 00:51:52,910
No, it wasn't.
904
00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:56,581
- So--
-So I think something
has to be done here...
905
00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:59,417
within the confines
of the law, of course.
Of course.
906
00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:01,552
Of course.
907
00:52:01,586 --> 00:52:04,289
So, uh, what would you do?
908
00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:09,394
What would I do?
909
00:52:09,427 --> 00:52:15,566
I would crush those geeks
with every Beta muscle
in my body.
910
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:19,504
- [ Groans ]
- But that's just me.
911
00:52:19,537 --> 00:52:21,672
See you boys at homecoming.
912
00:52:21,706 --> 00:52:23,608
Say hi to your folks, Eric.
I will. Thank you.
913
00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:36,221
[ Whispering ]
What are we doing?
914
00:52:36,254 --> 00:52:38,323
We gotta find
their trophy, bro.
915
00:52:52,603 --> 00:52:55,506
Freeze, human.
916
00:52:55,540 --> 00:52:57,775
[ Hissing ]
917
00:53:00,778 --> 00:53:04,682
[ Grunting ]
918
00:53:04,715 --> 00:53:09,854
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
919
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,357
Uphold the Galactic
Alliance...
920
00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:14,725
with my cock.
[ Growling ]
921
00:53:14,759 --> 00:53:17,462
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
922
00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:21,799
What the hell
is going on in there?
923
00:53:21,832 --> 00:53:24,835
Sounds like a dog with
its dick stuck in a vacuum.
924
00:53:24,869 --> 00:53:27,405
Hey, this way.
Come on.
I'm a husky ninja.
925
00:53:27,438 --> 00:53:28,873
Shh.
Hyah!
926
00:53:33,344 --> 00:53:34,945
[ Erik ]
There it is,
the motherboard.
927
00:53:34,979 --> 00:53:37,648
Oh.
928
00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:39,750
[ Swallows ]
929
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,787
[ Gasps ]
Guys, I really
gotta take a dump.
930
00:53:42,820 --> 00:53:46,757
Oh, come on. Not now.
That fast food I ate
put me over.
931
00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:48,693
[ Groaning ]
I can't wait.
932
00:53:50,628 --> 00:53:54,765
Well, hurry up then.
That guy is disgusting.
933
00:53:54,799 --> 00:53:56,767
Hold that.
934
00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,969
Okay. All right.
935
00:54:05,676 --> 00:54:07,678
All right.
936
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,550
Gently.
937
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:16,587
All right.
[ Alarm Blaring ]
938
00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:18,489
Come on.
939
00:54:18,523 --> 00:54:22,627
- Bobby.
-[ Alarm Continues ]
940
00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:26,797
- Ooh! Bobby,
what are you doing, man?
- Upper-decker, baby.
941
00:54:26,831 --> 00:54:29,300
- Shh.
- [ Whispering ]
Oh. Upper-decker, baby.
942
00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:33,538
[ Groaning ]
Oh, my God.
943
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,873
- Betas, we are leaving.
- Go, go, go!
944
00:54:41,379 --> 00:54:43,448
[ Panting ]
What's happening?
945
00:54:52,523 --> 00:54:58,663
Well, pledges,
you completed every task on
the task board in record time.
946
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:01,966
I, along with every other Beta
in this room, are proud...
947
00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:05,503
to call you our brothers.
948
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:08,639
- Congratulations.
You're all Betas.
-[ Applause ]
949
00:55:09,874 --> 00:55:11,876
[ Cheering ]
950
00:55:12,777 --> 00:55:15,946
Hey, Cuz.
951
00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:17,648
Here you go.
952
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,655
[ Beeping ]
Oh, la, la.
Gracias.
953
00:55:24,689 --> 00:55:26,957
De nada.
954
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:29,594
It sounds like you
got yourself a pretty good
girl there, buddy.
955
00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:31,696
Oh, yeah.
You know what, now that
pledge is finally over...
956
00:55:31,729 --> 00:55:33,631
we can spend a lot
more time together too.
957
00:55:38,068 --> 00:55:42,006
What, are you kidding me,
Edgar? Get you and the Mensa
rejects out of my house now.
958
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:47,812
[ Beeping ]
959
00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:49,947
You have crossed me
for the last time, Stifler!
960
00:55:53,150 --> 00:55:56,387
We're gonna settle this
once and for all.
961
00:55:58,823 --> 00:56:01,692
Whoa! Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
962
00:56:01,726 --> 00:56:04,629
What the fuck?
963
00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:10,468
[ Roaring ]
964
00:56:10,501 --> 00:56:12,470
We, the members
of the geek house,
965
00:56:12,503 --> 00:56:14,539
challenge you,
the Beta house,
966
00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:17,542
to the Greek Olympiad.
The Greek Olympiad?
967
00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:20,811
As much as I'd love
to kick your geek ass
up and down the field, Ed,
968
00:56:20,845 --> 00:56:24,081
I hate to tell you
the Greek Olympiad has
been banned for, like, 40 years.
969
00:56:24,114 --> 00:56:26,684
[ Chuckling ]
What's the matter?
970
00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:29,887
Afraid to get into
a little trouble, Stifler?
971
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,089
Afraid?
972
00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:34,058
[ Chuckles ]
Let's do this.
973
00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:38,496
Oh, but there is one catch.
We are playing for charters.
974
00:56:38,529 --> 00:56:43,000
If we win, you give up
your charter, and you move
out of the Beta house.
975
00:56:43,033 --> 00:56:46,871
And if you win,
we move out...
976
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:51,008
- and you take our house.
- This place against
your mansion?
977
00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:54,512
Consider it another tradition
I plan to tear down.
978
00:56:55,646 --> 00:56:57,548
You're on.
979
00:56:57,582 --> 00:57:01,619
[ Chuckling ]
Vaya con Dios.
980
00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:06,891
Are you out of your mind?
The Greek Olympiad has
been banned for life.
981
00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:08,893
You'll all get
thrown off campus.
982
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:11,696
That's a chance
we're gonna have to take.
983
00:57:11,729 --> 00:57:13,998
Oh, but the Greek
Olympiad is crazy.
984
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:18,202
I mean, yes,
it's a combination skill,
endurance, athleticism, granted,
985
00:57:18,235 --> 00:57:20,971
but there is a degree
of perversion in these games...
986
00:57:21,005 --> 00:57:24,809
which I don't think
would serve you kids well.
987
00:57:24,842 --> 00:57:28,613
Do you happen to remember
the name of the last captain
to ever win the Greek Olympiad?
988
00:57:28,646 --> 00:57:31,782
Well, I haven't the foggiest,
because it was so long ago. I--
His name...
989
00:57:31,816 --> 00:57:34,585
was Noah Levenstein.
990
00:57:34,619 --> 00:57:36,787
Uh-huh.
991
00:57:36,821 --> 00:57:39,223
Well, I knew that would
catch up to me one day.
992
00:57:39,256 --> 00:57:42,226
But, you know, fellas, look,
I didn't know what was
going on back then.
993
00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:45,896
- I was just a dumb kid.
- Mr. Levenstein, we need you.
994
00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:51,268
Tradition states that
the last team captain to win
comes back to officiate.
995
00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:55,840
I know it's tradition.
I-- I--
996
00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:59,243
I suppose I could do it.
I'd have to call in and take
a few personal days.
997
00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:02,647
-Excellent. You will not
regret this. I promise you.
-Stifler!
998
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,882
This just came
for you, man.
What is it?
999
00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:11,956
This is interesting.
1000
00:58:12,857 --> 00:58:15,526
Hello.
1001
00:58:17,061 --> 00:58:20,030
I'm here.
What's this big bombshell?
1002
00:58:27,572 --> 00:58:29,540
Are you sure
you weren't followed?
1003
00:58:29,574 --> 00:58:31,976
You. What the hell
are you doing here?
1004
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:38,549
- Well, well, Stifler.
- Rock.
1005
00:58:38,583 --> 00:58:42,753
Looks like we meet again.
All right. This is a setup.
I'm out of here.
1006
00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:44,889
Relax, ass clown.
1007
00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:47,057
The enemy of my enemy
is my friend.
1008
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:50,761
What we had was a rivalry.
1009
00:58:50,795 --> 00:58:53,664
But what Edgar did
got us kicked off campus.
1010
00:58:54,932 --> 00:58:58,669
Wait, how-how do you
even know the guy?
1011
00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:01,205
He tried to pledge
our house three years ago.
1012
00:59:01,238 --> 00:59:06,310
He was the first
regular-size guy to rush
the little-person frat.
1013
00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:09,179
They used to have this
tradition where we put
a sheep in the basement.
1014
00:59:09,213 --> 00:59:11,949
Be gentle.
They'd tell us
we had to bang the sheep...
1015
00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:15,119
and that we couldn't come out
until the rubber was used.
1016
00:59:15,152 --> 00:59:17,688
Now, one of
two things happened.
1017
00:59:17,722 --> 00:59:21,759
[ Sheep Bleating ]
Either they would
come out crying,
1018
00:59:21,792 --> 00:59:27,064
or they would
beat off in the rubber
and say they did the sheep.
1019
00:59:27,097 --> 00:59:29,900
And then, there was Edgar.
1020
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,071
- Good luck.
-[ Bleating ]
1021
00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:36,874
[ Groaning ]
1022
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,377
Oh, I'll be gentle.
It's okay.
What the fuck?
1023
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,312
[ Edgar Moaning ]
We gotta check it out.
1024
00:59:42,346 --> 00:59:45,950
[ Edgar Moaning ]
1025
00:59:48,052 --> 00:59:51,155
[ Groaning ]
1026
00:59:51,188 --> 00:59:53,691
- For the love of God, man.
- [ Bleats ]
1027
00:59:53,724 --> 00:59:57,762
That sick bastard
fucked the sheep.
1028
00:59:57,795 --> 01:00:02,332
That's a great story,
but I'm a little unclear
on how it helps me.
1029
01:00:02,366 --> 01:00:06,170
[ Sighs ]
I'm sure you'll figure
something out, "Shitler."
1030
01:00:08,072 --> 01:00:10,641
* [ Fanfare ]
1031
01:00:10,675 --> 01:00:13,343
[ Cheering ]
1032
01:00:23,387 --> 01:00:26,724
Welcome to the Greek Olympiad.
1033
01:00:26,757 --> 01:00:30,928
[ Cheering ]
1034
01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:40,270
Competing today
in this ancient tradition
are the Beta house--
1035
01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:43,040
[ Cheering ]
Beta, Beta, Beta.
1036
01:00:43,073 --> 01:00:45,676
and the geek house.
1037
01:00:45,710 --> 01:00:48,412
[ Cheering ]
1038
01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:52,349
Now, when we think of
the term "Greek Olympiad,"
1039
01:00:52,382 --> 01:00:57,287
we-- we hearken back
to ancient traditions.
1040
01:00:57,321 --> 01:01:02,092
Uh, we conjure up images
of mighty warriors...
1041
01:01:02,126 --> 01:01:06,230
in their little skirts
getting all oiled up,
1042
01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:09,199
uh, writhing around
with each other.
1043
01:01:09,233 --> 01:01:14,705
Some called it wrestling.
Others called it something else.
1044
01:01:14,739 --> 01:01:19,844
But, uh, enough history.
On with the games.
1045
01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:21,812
[ Cheering ]
1046
01:01:27,885 --> 01:01:31,021
The first event is called:
The Release of Venus.
1047
01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:36,493
The man who undoes all
the brassieres on his side
the quickest wins.
1048
01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:39,764
You know, Ed.
It's really a shame...
1049
01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:42,432
all that practice on
your sister's training
bra is not gonna pay off.
1050
01:01:42,466 --> 01:01:46,136
Please, Dwight.
I spent a season in Milan
dating lingerie models.
1051
01:01:46,170 --> 01:01:48,072
It was before I met you.
1052
01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,040
* [ Fanfare ]
1053
01:01:50,074 --> 01:01:52,376
Gentlemen, are we ready?
1054
01:01:52,409 --> 01:01:55,880
- Get in there.
-Decline and fall, Dwight.
Decline and fall.
1055
01:01:57,181 --> 01:01:59,149
Start unsnapping.
1056
01:02:06,891 --> 01:02:09,459
*Put your finger in the pie
1057
01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:15,399
*Make you come
Make you wanna cry *
1058
01:02:15,432 --> 01:02:19,403
You know, I still hold
the record in this event.
The hands of a surgeon.
1059
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:24,942
*On a dead-ender
I'm on a bender, a bender *
1060
01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:27,144
- [ Cooze ]
Whoa, what's up with Edgar?
- The chick's got double D's.
1061
01:02:27,177 --> 01:02:29,079
Quad clasps are really
difficult to deal with.
1062
01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,415
*I'm on a bender, a bender
A bender for you *
1063
01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:35,219
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Crowd Cheers ]
1064
01:02:35,252 --> 01:02:39,824
- Done. Done.
- [ Cheering ]
1065
01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:42,092
Betas win.
1066
01:02:42,126 --> 01:02:45,930
- [ Cheering ]
-*I'm on a bender, a bender
A bender for you *
1067
01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,534
Hey, nice try, Edgar.
1068
01:02:50,567 --> 01:02:54,104
Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
I guess I was just in the zone.
1069
01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:57,174
You know, with a little more
to work with, I might have won.
1070
01:02:57,207 --> 01:03:02,246
The next event is
the Battle of Ares.
1071
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:08,385
Two men fighting
to the death...
1072
01:03:08,418 --> 01:03:11,922
or until one knocks
the other into the water.
1073
01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:18,595
Whoo! You guys
are so done, Edgar. Bull's
an animal with this thing.
1074
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:21,431
Why don't you just
save some face? Give me
the deed to your place now.
1075
01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:25,102
Not quite yet.
You haven't met our
new initiate, have you?
1076
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:31,842
[ Crowd Murmurs ]
1077
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,580
His name is Dave Maul.
1078
01:03:36,613 --> 01:03:39,283
And he is the number-one-rated
light saber fighter...
1079
01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:41,151
on the science fiction
convention tour.
1080
01:03:41,185 --> 01:03:43,120
Oh, he's a virgin.
[ Laughing ]
1081
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:46,323
Are you ready, boys?
Joust.
1082
01:03:55,032 --> 01:03:58,068
Yeah, come on!
1083
01:03:58,102 --> 01:04:01,405
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- [ Cheering ]
1084
01:04:05,209 --> 01:04:07,144
Oh, shit!
1085
01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:11,848
[ Groaning ]
1086
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:17,955
Finish him.
1087
01:04:19,456 --> 01:04:21,225
No!
1088
01:04:22,659 --> 01:04:25,495
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Cheering ]
1089
01:04:25,529 --> 01:04:28,032
Geeks win.
1090
01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,300
I need a beer.
1091
01:04:30,334 --> 01:04:33,637
The next event is called
Demeter's Feast.
1092
01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:37,607
Now, in ancient Rome,
the pig was considered sacred,
1093
01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:41,912
and, uh, often sacrificed
to the goddess of agriculture.
1094
01:04:41,946 --> 01:04:45,415
Today, we've taken a pig,
uh, greased it up,
1095
01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:48,385
and the first one
who catches it wins.
1096
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:53,090
- [ Snorting ]
- [ Speaking French ]
1097
01:04:53,123 --> 01:04:55,092
Hey, you sure you're
up for this pigging?
1098
01:04:55,125 --> 01:04:58,128
Stifler, I grew up
on a farm with 652 pigs.
1099
01:04:58,162 --> 01:05:01,665
I can tell what
the pig is thinking.
1100
01:05:01,698 --> 01:05:03,633
[ Squealing ]
1101
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:08,472
Come here.
[ Shouts ]
1102
01:05:08,505 --> 01:05:12,076
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- Silly little fat man.
1103
01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:15,079
Hey, Edgar, what's the deal
with Captain Sulu?
He afraid to compete?
1104
01:05:15,112 --> 01:05:17,181
You haven't heard of
parkour, have you?
1105
01:05:17,214 --> 01:05:20,084
Lunettes. Allez.
1106
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,322
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- What the--
- [ Groans ]
1107
01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,458
- Go, go, go!
- [ Squealing ]
1108
01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:30,560
Come here, piggy!
Come here, piggy!
1109
01:05:36,066 --> 01:05:38,502
Pig, pig, pig, piggy!
1110
01:05:43,607 --> 01:05:46,476
[ Squealing ]
1111
01:05:49,479 --> 01:05:51,982
[ Growling ]
1112
01:06:04,061 --> 01:06:06,496
Come here, pork chop.
1113
01:06:07,597 --> 01:06:10,200
Geeks!
1114
01:06:34,758 --> 01:06:39,196
- [ Squealing ]
- [ Cheering ]
1115
01:06:39,229 --> 01:06:42,366
[ Levenstein ]
Geeks win!
1116
01:06:48,238 --> 01:06:54,744
Greek roulette is
a very dangerous game,
not for the faint of heart.
1117
01:06:54,778 --> 01:06:57,814
One of these chambers
contains a capsule...
1118
01:06:57,847 --> 01:07:01,618
with aged horse, uh, semen.
1119
01:07:01,651 --> 01:07:04,154
[ Groaning ]
1120
01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:07,491
Gentlemen, let us begin.
1121
01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:11,061
[ Clamoring ]
1122
01:07:11,095 --> 01:07:13,063
[ Man ]
Give 'em only one shot.
1123
01:07:20,704 --> 01:07:23,507
[ Groaning ]
1124
01:07:28,645 --> 01:07:31,581
[ Man ] Come on. Come on.
[ Man #2 ]
Come on, Dwight.
1125
01:07:33,117 --> 01:07:35,485
Oh.
1126
01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:40,257
It's gonna be empty.
Come on.
1127
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:43,560
I gotta hand it to you, Edgar.
I really didn't think you'd
have thehuevosfor this.
1128
01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:45,061
I thought you'd probably
recruit one of your lackeys.
1129
01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:49,233
I wouldn't miss watching you
shoot yourself full of
horse semen for anything.
1130
01:07:51,768 --> 01:07:54,638
Come on, man.
[ All Chattering ]
1131
01:07:54,671 --> 01:07:57,141
Stuff it in there.
It's all good.
It's all good.
1132
01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:02,379
[ Cheering ]
1133
01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:04,814
- Yes!
- Yes!
1134
01:08:07,551 --> 01:08:09,819
Your turn, big boss.
1135
01:08:09,853 --> 01:08:12,256
Come on. Come on.
1136
01:08:12,289 --> 01:08:14,724
- Come on.
- Come on. Yeah!
1137
01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:16,660
[ All Shouting ]
1138
01:08:19,629 --> 01:08:22,866
[ Screaming ]
1139
01:08:22,899 --> 01:08:25,902
[ Laughing ]
Yeah!
1140
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,238
- Put two canisters in there.
- Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two?
1141
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,374
That's too many, Dwight.
Come on. Two. He's not worth it.
1142
01:08:30,407 --> 01:08:33,910
Unless Edgar's afraid,
put in two canisters.
1143
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:36,780
Fine! Put in two!
1144
01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:40,784
Put in two.
1145
01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:46,656
-[ Man ]
Oh, man.
- Go.
1146
01:08:46,690 --> 01:08:51,161
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
1147
01:08:51,195 --> 01:08:55,299
[ All Shouting ]
1148
01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:57,834
All right, all right.
All right. All right.
1149
01:08:57,867 --> 01:09:00,237
Everyone quiet!
1150
01:09:00,270 --> 01:09:02,872
- We good?
- Don't worry about it.
1151
01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:05,475
- You're good, baby.
There's nothing in there.
- Oh, no. I can't watch.
1152
01:09:06,543 --> 01:09:08,712
[ Screaming ]
1153
01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:14,251
- Yes!
- Yeah! Yes!
1154
01:09:14,284 --> 01:09:16,920
- Yes!
-Betas rule!
1155
01:09:16,953 --> 01:09:18,688
- You're up.
- You're next.
1156
01:09:18,722 --> 01:09:21,925
[ All Shouting ]
1157
01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:24,761
Do it. Go.
1158
01:09:24,794 --> 01:09:28,665
Do it. Do it! Do it!
1159
01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:32,502
Pull the fuckin' trigger.
Do it! Do it!
1160
01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:34,904
Do it! Pull it!
1161
01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:40,910
Oh, boy.
1162
01:09:43,347 --> 01:09:44,981
We won!
1163
01:09:45,014 --> 01:09:46,983
Betas win.
1164
01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:49,853
Enjoy Mr. Ed's jizz.
How's the semen taste, Ed?
1165
01:09:53,590 --> 01:09:55,892
Tough loss there, Edgar,
but you know what they say, son,
1166
01:09:55,925 --> 01:09:59,863
you've gotta get right
back up on that horse...
so to speak.
1167
01:09:59,896 --> 01:10:01,931
[ Sobbing ]
1168
01:10:01,965 --> 01:10:05,302
* [ Fanfare ]
1169
01:10:05,335 --> 01:10:10,574
The ancient game of
the wife carry has been
around for centuries.
1170
01:10:10,607 --> 01:10:14,344
The first couple to
complete the course wins.
1171
01:10:14,378 --> 01:10:16,713
- [ Cheering ]
- You owe me big time for this.
1172
01:10:16,746 --> 01:10:18,915
I know.
1173
01:10:18,948 --> 01:10:22,619
- Okay. Ready?
- All right.
1174
01:10:22,652 --> 01:10:25,689
All right.
1175
01:10:25,722 --> 01:10:28,558
How pathetic.
[ Scoffs ]
Now.
1176
01:10:33,463 --> 01:10:36,300
What, are you--
Really? You trying
to give Bandhu a hernia?
1177
01:10:36,333 --> 01:10:38,568
Oh, once again,
your pathetic little brain
has let you down, Dwight.
1178
01:10:38,602 --> 01:10:40,870
Bandhu, up.
1179
01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:44,474
[ All Chattering ]
1180
01:10:44,508 --> 01:10:47,411
All right, Erik.
We got this. Let's go.
1181
01:10:47,444 --> 01:10:49,746
We're fucked.
1182
01:10:49,779 --> 01:10:52,616
[ Pistol Fires ]
1183
01:10:52,649 --> 01:10:55,785
- Come on, Erik.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- We can beat those Betas.
1184
01:10:55,819 --> 01:10:57,921
Pick up the pace.
Faster, faster, faster.
1185
01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:00,424
How do you feel about
that advantage? Let's go.
1186
01:11:00,457 --> 01:11:03,460
[ All Chattering ]
1187
01:11:06,830 --> 01:11:08,698
[ All Shouting ]
1188
01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:15,505
[ Shouting ]
1189
01:11:20,043 --> 01:11:24,548
Maybe I should have
carried you.
1190
01:11:24,581 --> 01:11:28,718
Man, that is
one scary chick.
That's a chick?
1191
01:11:32,055 --> 01:11:35,425
And now, the Peloponnesian War.
1192
01:11:35,459 --> 01:11:38,562
The first team to consume
an entire keg wins.
1193
01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:40,864
Throwing up
does not disqualify.
1194
01:11:40,897 --> 01:11:44,634
Gentlemen,
inside this cylindrical
casing of aluminum...
1195
01:11:44,668 --> 01:11:47,937
lies 55 metric liters
of malted alcohol.
1196
01:11:47,971 --> 01:11:50,740
Remember, fellas, don't
underestimate these geeks.
1197
01:11:50,774 --> 01:11:52,842
Most of them are
lonely problem drinkers.
All right?
1198
01:11:52,876 --> 01:11:56,480
Beware, gentlemen.
These men know how to drink.
1199
01:11:56,513 --> 01:12:00,016
But we are more than they are.
We are more than men.
1200
01:12:00,049 --> 01:12:03,019
We, sirs, are geeks.
1201
01:12:03,052 --> 01:12:07,424
All right, boys. Battle.
1202
01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:10,126
- Gentlemen, chugalug.
- I can out-drink you fucks!
1203
01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:12,596
Batten down the hatches!
1204
01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:17,601
[ Screaming ]
1205
01:12:17,634 --> 01:12:19,669
We are geeks.
We can do this.
1206
01:12:19,703 --> 01:12:22,606
- [ Screaming ]
- Edgar!
1207
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:28,945
I only have one thing
to say to you.
What's that, you philistine?
1208
01:12:36,786 --> 01:12:39,823
Puking doesn't disqualify.
1209
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,992
All geeks, attack.
1210
01:12:50,534 --> 01:12:52,669
Come on, Edgar.
Let's see what you got, bitch.
1211
01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:59,142
That's all you got?
That's all you got?
1212
01:12:59,175 --> 01:13:03,112
Give it back.
Give it back.
1213
01:13:03,146 --> 01:13:07,551
Save yourselves!
1214
01:13:07,584 --> 01:13:11,655
Back to the keg!
Oh, we got a man down!
1215
01:13:11,688 --> 01:13:14,558
Gentlemen, we need to
attain maximum efficiency.
1216
01:13:14,591 --> 01:13:17,026
Irene, attach the device.
1217
01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:24,501
What the hell is that?
What is that thing?
1218
01:13:24,534 --> 01:13:27,937
Open valves.
1219
01:13:27,971 --> 01:13:30,674
That's the geeks
taking the lead.
It's time for our secret weapon.
1220
01:13:30,707 --> 01:13:32,942
Wesley! Wesley!
1221
01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:34,878
[ Shouting ]
[ Man ]
Let's go.
1222
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,714
Keg stand, now!
1223
01:13:37,747 --> 01:13:40,016
About damn time!
1224
01:13:42,786 --> 01:13:45,889
Open the valve all the way.
We need warp speed
on this motherfucker.
1225
01:13:50,994 --> 01:13:54,564
- Betas win.
- [ Cheering ]
1226
01:14:00,870 --> 01:14:06,075
With the Greek Olympiad tied,
we now go into sudden death.
1227
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:15,552
The final event is called:
The Rise of Aphrodite.
1228
01:14:15,585 --> 01:14:19,723
Quite simply,
the first man who...
1229
01:14:19,756 --> 01:14:24,928
excretes his manly,
uh, juices,
1230
01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:29,799
in the, uh,
ejaculatory sense,
1231
01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:31,901
uh, loses.
1232
01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:42,579
I cannot wait to see you
come in your pants.
1233
01:14:42,612 --> 01:14:44,914
Let's do this.
1234
01:14:47,717 --> 01:14:49,819
*We used to be
attached at the hip *
1235
01:14:49,853 --> 01:14:51,988
*Now distance attacking
our relationship *
1236
01:14:52,021 --> 01:14:55,625
*I know you got
to handle your biz
I tried to be a good girl *
1237
01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:57,594
Pi is equal to 3.1415--
1238
01:14:57,627 --> 01:15:00,229
- No big deal at all.
- 59787--
1239
01:15:00,263 --> 01:15:03,633
I feel like Santa Claus
at the local shopping mall.
1240
01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:09,573
- That was nothing.
-That was nothing
for me either. No big deal.
1241
01:15:09,606 --> 01:15:11,875
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it down *
1242
01:15:11,908 --> 01:15:14,110
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
make it stop *
1243
01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:16,179
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it drop *
1244
01:15:16,212 --> 01:15:18,748
*Go ahead, mama
You're a phenomenon *
1245
01:15:18,782 --> 01:15:20,817
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it down *
1246
01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:23,219
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
make it stop *
1247
01:15:23,252 --> 01:15:25,254
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it drop *
1248
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,757
I like your boobs.
[ Bobby ]
Look at this!
1249
01:15:27,791 --> 01:15:31,260
Pretend you're
sucking my man breasts.
1250
01:15:31,294 --> 01:15:35,231
Give it up, Stifler.
This is a game of
mind over matter.
1251
01:15:35,264 --> 01:15:38,034
And my brain is
way bigger than yours.
1252
01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:43,339
I've got experience on my side.
I'll take that over your Vulcan
mind tricks any day.
1253
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:46,943
We shall see.
Bring her in.
1254
01:15:46,976 --> 01:15:49,613
We flew this young lady
in from Las Vegas.
1255
01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:51,981
She's the number-one stripper
in the Emerald City.
1256
01:15:52,015 --> 01:15:54,818
Enjoy, Dwight.
1257
01:15:54,851 --> 01:15:56,953
*Don't have to ask why
1258
01:15:56,986 --> 01:15:59,155
- No.
- Oh.
1259
01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:01,024
Good luck.
1260
01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:04,027
*Don't have to ask why
1261
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:07,030
*Just get them hands high
Just raise 'em to the sky *
1262
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:09,899
I'm in trouble here, boys.
1263
01:16:09,933 --> 01:16:12,669
This chick is ridiculous.
Bring her in.
1264
01:16:12,702 --> 01:16:14,871
Code red! Code red!
1265
01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:20,977
[ Bleating ]
1266
01:16:23,713 --> 01:16:26,315
- [ Bleating ]
- What the fuck?
1267
01:16:30,386 --> 01:16:33,690
Look at my tail, Edgar.
Look how fluffy it is.
1268
01:16:33,723 --> 01:16:36,292
[ Edgar ]
Stop, please.
1269
01:16:36,325 --> 01:16:39,863
- Somebody make her stop.
- What's the matter, Edgar?
You got a little wool fetish?
1270
01:16:39,896 --> 01:16:43,066
No.
1271
01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:47,070
[ Edgar Moaning ]
1272
01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:53,943
He's done.
1273
01:17:00,216 --> 01:17:03,720
- Betas win.
- [ Cheering ]
1274
01:17:05,221 --> 01:17:07,691
[ Chanting ]
Beta, Beta, Beta.
1275
01:17:07,724 --> 01:17:10,293
Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta.
1276
01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,696
[ Chanting Continues ]
1277
01:17:20,169 --> 01:17:25,341
To the winners--
I now present
the golden hammer...
1278
01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:30,279
- to Beta house.
- Beta, baby.
1279
01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:33,349
Congratulations, Stifler.
You've kept the Beta
traditions alive.
1280
01:17:33,382 --> 01:17:35,785
Thanks, Noah.
Betas for life?
1281
01:17:35,819 --> 01:17:38,888
- Betas for life.
- Yeah.
1282
01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:43,727
* [ Vocalizing ]
1283
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:46,095
* [ Singing, Indistinct ]
1284
01:17:46,129 --> 01:17:48,164
Now this is a frat party.
1285
01:17:48,197 --> 01:17:50,934
No, this is a Beta party.
1286
01:17:50,967 --> 01:17:54,270
*Put yourself upon the ground
Back there and rock them
different times *
1287
01:17:54,303 --> 01:17:57,774
*Can't come back one day
to rhyme spent my dime
run down the line *
1288
01:17:57,807 --> 01:18:01,410
*Your time's up don't hesitate
Chop the suckers off like
Norman Bates, yeah *
1289
01:18:01,444 --> 01:18:03,847
*Get on and open up
your brain *
1290
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,250
*We hit it to this minute
'Cause you told them
how you came *
1291
01:18:07,283 --> 01:18:11,087
- *How you what
- *Came
1292
01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:12,756
*My big-league rhyme
is a major rap *
1293
01:18:12,789 --> 01:18:16,159
Hey, I got a little
surprise for you.
Yeah?
1294
01:18:18,928 --> 01:18:22,165
A little present
for you being so patient
and understanding.
1295
01:18:22,198 --> 01:18:24,400
Okay.
1296
01:18:24,433 --> 01:18:28,037
- Are you ready
for your present?
- [ Laughing ] I'm not sure.
1297
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:32,842
I'm really confused right now,
and I'm trying to keep
an open mind, but--
1298
01:18:32,876 --> 01:18:37,346
[ Thinking ]
Oh, man, this is
fucked up, even for me.
1299
01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,949
- Here it comes.
- [ Thinking ] Oh, my God.
If it's bigger than mine,
1300
01:18:39,983 --> 01:18:42,185
I swear I'm gonna pass out.
1301
01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:46,155
- I'm not wearing
any panties.
- [ Thinking ] Oh.
1302
01:18:46,189 --> 01:18:48,792
Easy, Cooze.
Everybody can see you.
1303
01:18:48,825 --> 01:18:51,260
Well, I'm sure we could
find someplace around here
with a little privacy.
1304
01:18:51,294 --> 01:18:53,797
Okay.
Let's go.
1305
01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:56,199
*Dance, come on
1306
01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:59,268
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1307
01:18:59,302 --> 01:19:01,437
Where are you taking me?
1308
01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:03,739
It's a surprise.
You're gonna like it.
1309
01:19:13,382 --> 01:19:15,484
I'm nervous.
1310
01:19:15,518 --> 01:19:18,822
What are you talking about?
Everything's gonna be fine.
1311
01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:21,925
Are you sure?
Yeah.
1312
01:19:25,128 --> 01:19:28,331
*You try to mend
the heart you're breaking *
1313
01:19:28,364 --> 01:19:32,768
Why don't I
take care of you?
1314
01:19:34,337 --> 01:19:36,205
Okay.
1315
01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:39,208
Okay.
1316
01:19:50,186 --> 01:19:52,989
Oh, my.
1317
01:19:54,858 --> 01:19:57,293
I can't. I can't.
1318
01:19:57,326 --> 01:20:01,497
Just let yourself go, baby.
There is nothing you can do
that's gonna surprise me, okay?
1319
01:20:01,530 --> 01:20:03,532
Are you sure?
Yeah.
1320
01:20:03,566 --> 01:20:06,102
Okay.
1321
01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:11,040
[ Chuckling ]
Why are you
bringing me in here?
1322
01:20:11,074 --> 01:20:13,442
Well, this being
our new house.
1323
01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:16,179
I thought I'd come up
with my own task for
the pledge board.
1324
01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:19,382
Mmm. Okay.
And what's that gonna be?
1325
01:20:19,415 --> 01:20:21,550
Uh.
[ Clears Throat ]
1326
01:20:21,584 --> 01:20:25,588
Well, I think it's kind
of better if I, uh--
if I show you.
1327
01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:27,957
[ Projector Whirring ]
1328
01:20:31,027 --> 01:20:34,530
Oh, sex in a movie theater.
1329
01:20:34,563 --> 01:20:37,266
I like the way you think,
Erik Stifler.
1330
01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:42,238
*Give me love
Give me love *
1331
01:20:42,271 --> 01:20:44,573
*And I'll bring it
back to you *
1332
01:20:44,607 --> 01:20:46,976
[ Moaning ]
1333
01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:55,618
I'm coming!
I'm coming!
1334
01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:58,154
I'm coming!
1335
01:20:58,187 --> 01:21:00,924
Oh! Oh, my--
1336
01:21:04,961 --> 01:21:06,562
Okay, I was a little
surprised by that.
1337
01:21:06,595 --> 01:21:09,966
I'm sorry.
1338
01:21:09,999 --> 01:21:11,867
It's okay. It's--
1339
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:15,371
It's actually really sexy.
1340
01:21:15,404 --> 01:21:17,440
Really?
Yeah.
1341
01:21:17,473 --> 01:21:19,142
Can you do that every time?
1342
01:21:19,175 --> 01:21:22,245
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1343
01:21:22,278 --> 01:21:25,148
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
1344
01:21:30,486 --> 01:21:33,056
*I was alone in this world
and I can't stop *
1345
01:21:33,089 --> 01:21:35,925
*Till I seen little mama
in a tank top *
Hey, buddy.
1346
01:21:35,959 --> 01:21:37,660
Take a little dip
in the pool?
Nope.
1347
01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:39,929
Oh, wait a minute.
1348
01:21:42,265 --> 01:21:45,268
Ah, yes. The elusive
female ejaculation.
1349
01:21:45,301 --> 01:21:47,603
[ Chuckling ]
Not a lot of girls
can do that. Congrats.
1350
01:21:47,636 --> 01:21:52,041
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1351
01:21:52,075 --> 01:21:56,179
*That's because
he looked like me *
1352
01:21:56,212 --> 01:22:00,583
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1353
01:22:00,616 --> 01:22:04,653
*That's because
he looked like me *
1354
01:22:04,687 --> 01:22:08,724
*I couldn't help myself
I felt like I was a queen *
1355
01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:10,693
*I used to sit around
at home alone *
1356
01:22:10,726 --> 01:22:13,562
Beta house fuckin' rules!
1357
01:22:20,336 --> 01:22:25,641
[ All Screaming ]
1358
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:30,346
*I was so turned on
I could barely say *
1359
01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:33,382
*He said come on
and gave me a little wink *
1360
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:38,187
*My brain unfroze
and I can only think *
1361
01:22:38,221 --> 01:22:42,225
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1362
01:22:42,258 --> 01:22:46,229
*That's because
he looked like me *
1363
01:22:46,262 --> 01:22:48,664
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1364
01:22:48,697 --> 01:22:52,001
[ Chanting ]
Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta.
1365
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,772
*I can't lose your lovin'
1366
01:22:56,805 --> 01:22:58,707
*No, I can't lose your love
1367
01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:03,212
*I can't lose your lovin'
No way *
1368
01:23:03,246 --> 01:23:06,682
*I just got your lovin'
Oh, baby, baby *
1369
01:23:06,715 --> 01:23:10,753
*I can't lose your lovin'
No, no way *
1370
01:23:15,291 --> 01:23:17,993
[ Chuckling ]
Yes.
1371
01:23:19,762 --> 01:23:23,099
[ Toilet Flushing ]
1372
01:23:26,469 --> 01:23:29,438
Hey, big boy.
1373
01:23:29,472 --> 01:23:31,207
Ready to fill me up
with some more protein?
1374
01:23:33,809 --> 01:23:40,649
No, no, no, no!
1375
01:23:40,683 --> 01:23:44,220
Ah, yes. The Blackout Menace
strikes again.
1376
01:23:44,253 --> 01:23:47,090
*When I wake up mornin' yawning
I put up my hands *
1377
01:23:47,123 --> 01:23:50,093
*Thank the lord
for what I got and
never stop my plans *
1378
01:23:50,126 --> 01:23:52,795
*Givin' all for the cause
Gotta keep it up never
let my head drop *
1379
01:23:52,828 --> 01:23:55,698
*Make me a home all my own
Better make the bed rock *
1380
01:23:55,731 --> 01:23:59,135
*A place for the dog, a garage
a yard to play around *
1381
01:23:59,168 --> 01:24:02,105
*Kitchen for missus
she'll be fixin' them
biscuits golden brown *
1382
01:24:02,138 --> 01:24:05,208
*Got me a shorty
and some kids just
like a family should *
1383
01:24:05,241 --> 01:24:08,144
*Made a few changes
how I live and now
it's all good *
1384
01:24:08,177 --> 01:24:11,314
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1385
01:24:11,347 --> 01:24:14,283
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1386
01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:17,353
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1387
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:20,123
*How you bounce back
How you bounce back *
1388
01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:23,126
*Super classic realistic homey
on the dope *
1389
01:24:23,159 --> 01:24:25,861
*If you close your eyes
and miss it ask me why
I wrote this *
1390
01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:28,831
*I've come so very far
and made this here my home *
1391
01:24:28,864 --> 01:24:31,634
*So if you're thinkin'
otherwise I guess you're
thinkin' wrong *
1392
01:24:31,667 --> 01:24:34,803
*All it takes is all I got
a little bit of try *
1393
01:24:34,837 --> 01:24:37,873
*And if you make my babies cry
I'll bust you in your eye *
1394
01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:40,709
*Gonna make it happen
ain't no way you can
tie me up *
1395
01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:44,347
*'Cause I hocus-pocus
keep it focused and you
know the steps what's up *
1396
01:24:44,380 --> 01:24:47,516
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1397
01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:50,486
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1398
01:24:50,519 --> 01:24:53,556
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1399
01:24:53,589 --> 01:24:56,159
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1400
01:24:56,192 --> 01:24:58,861
*Hey, what you say
Hop in let's roll *
1401
01:24:58,894 --> 01:25:02,298
*Buckle up around that
He low like that
ain't nobody gotta know *
1402
01:25:02,331 --> 01:25:04,833
*Swing the bat for mama
I know big boys
hit home runs *
1403
01:25:04,867 --> 01:25:08,404
*I don't discriminate
No hate, I've ran bases
with smaller ones *
1404
01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:10,639
*I know what I got
Kids that work
they be on the clock *
1405
01:25:10,673 --> 01:25:14,210
*'Cause they tick, tick
tick, ticktock go and make
the boys give good stock *
1406
01:25:14,243 --> 01:25:16,679
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1407
01:25:16,712 --> 01:25:20,149
*When we at the set
no strings attached
'cause I'm on the rebound *
1408
01:25:26,289 --> 01:25:29,425
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1409
01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:32,395
*Make your back bounce
Make your back bounce *
1410
01:25:32,428 --> 01:25:35,431
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1411
01:25:35,464 --> 01:25:38,133
*Make your back bounce
Make your back bounce *
1412
01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:43,239
* [ Techno ]
1413
01:25:46,742 --> 01:25:49,845
*It was one of them nights
I had one of those things
about to go get my drink on *
1414
01:25:49,878 --> 01:25:52,381
*Knew I gotta get right
so I picked up my girls
in my truck *
1415
01:25:52,415 --> 01:25:54,883
*Cruisin' down the boulevard
1416
01:25:54,917 --> 01:25:56,952
*And then I pull up
to the club we hopped out
started walkin' *
1417
01:25:56,985 --> 01:25:59,522
*Pass the line
said we V.I.P. *
1418
01:25:59,555 --> 01:26:01,790
*Soon as we stepped in
chicks started talkin' *
*And then I said
1419
01:26:01,824 --> 01:26:05,328
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1420
01:26:05,361 --> 01:26:09,265
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1421
01:26:09,298 --> 01:26:12,768
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1422
01:26:12,801 --> 01:26:16,772
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1423
01:26:16,805 --> 01:26:18,774
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1424
01:26:18,807 --> 01:26:20,776
*Outside
*It's a different story
1425
01:26:20,809 --> 01:26:22,511
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1426
01:26:22,545 --> 01:26:24,413
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1427
01:26:24,447 --> 01:26:26,615
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1428
01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:28,451
*Outside
*It's a different story
1429
01:26:28,484 --> 01:26:30,486
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1430
01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:32,488
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1431
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:34,323
*Gettin' more time
than insomniacs *
1432
01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:35,824
*It's a good thing
to rest of the cardiacs *
1433
01:26:35,858 --> 01:26:37,760
*Are trying to have
a good time with the partiac *
1434
01:26:37,793 --> 01:26:39,562
*Why the drummer gotta start
when they call the acts *
1435
01:26:39,595 --> 01:26:41,764
*And as I step in
put their bets in *
1436
01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,766
*They brace their weapons
'cause they feel threatened *
1437
01:26:43,799 --> 01:26:45,734
*Try to tell them they
don't wanna step outside *
1438
01:26:45,768 --> 01:26:47,803
*Have the kid put it under
*And then I said
1439
01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:50,939
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1440
01:26:50,973 --> 01:26:54,877
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1441
01:26:54,910 --> 01:26:58,581
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1442
01:26:58,614 --> 01:27:02,585
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1443
01:27:02,618 --> 01:27:04,587
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1444
01:27:04,620 --> 01:27:06,589
*Outside
*It's a different story
1445
01:27:06,622 --> 01:27:08,524
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1446
01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,393
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1447
01:27:10,426 --> 01:27:12,395
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1448
01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,263
*Outside
*It's a different story
1449
01:27:14,297 --> 01:27:16,299
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1450
01:27:16,332 --> 01:27:17,900
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1451
01:27:17,933 --> 01:27:19,668
*Gotta be a issue
Gotta be a problem *
1452
01:27:19,702 --> 01:27:21,804
*Just 'cause a chick got
more soul than Harlem *
1453
01:27:21,837 --> 01:27:23,739
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1454
01:27:23,772 --> 01:27:25,674
*I got chicks don't
get in their way *
1455
01:27:25,708 --> 01:27:27,443
*If you really wanted
you could get it done *
1456
01:27:27,476 --> 01:27:29,445
*But don't forget
I'm the premium *
1457
01:27:29,478 --> 01:27:31,447
*Don't let your mouth write up
a check you can't cash *
1458
01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,316
*You could get bounced
for talkin' trash *
*And I said
1459
01:27:33,349 --> 01:27:36,652
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1460
01:27:36,685 --> 01:27:40,656
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1461
01:27:40,689 --> 01:27:44,360
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1462
01:27:44,393 --> 01:27:48,364
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1463
01:27:48,397 --> 01:27:50,366
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1464
01:27:50,399 --> 01:27:51,934
*Outside
*It's a different story
1465
01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:53,869
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1466
01:27:53,902 --> 01:27:55,771
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1467
01:27:55,804 --> 01:27:57,773
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1468
01:27:57,806 --> 01:27:59,842
*Outside
*It's a different story
1469
01:27:59,875 --> 01:28:01,810
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1470
01:28:01,844 --> 01:28:03,746
*Outside
*You ain't got
nothin' for me *
1471
01:28:40,716 --> 01:28:43,352
* [ Techno ]
1472
01:28:47,423 --> 01:28:50,893
[ Inhales ]
1473
01:28:50,926 --> 01:28:53,028
Wear this for your
next dance, honey.
1474
01:28:53,061 --> 01:28:55,931
Thanks. Baa.
108479