All language subtitles for casanova y co 1977 sub ingles

(triumphant trumpets blaring)

- [Narrator] Our story
begins back in old Italy,

where the first of a
long line of godfathers

is cooking up the first
big oil deal in history.

- Well, I certainly hope the
Shiraz excuse for royalty

doesn't slip and break his neck

before he signs the
Rose Oil contract.

We promised the pope 300
kegs of it before Christmas.

- [Man] Don't worry,
I'll get him to sign.

It'll be like taking
America from the Indians.

- [Man] You're too confident.

- All fools are accompanied
by guardian angels

and this fat fool
has the Calipha.

- They say she's a very
hard woman to handle.

- I wouldn't mind handling her.

- [Woman] Give me
that chocolate, it's
melting all over you.

You can't eat and talk to
the doge at the same time.

They're not used
to that in Europe.

- Your highness, as the doge
and head of the republic

of Venice, I bid
you hearty welcome.

- In 1745, Cassanova,
whilst passing through

the city of Sienna, spent
the night in a nunnery.

It is rumored that
after his presence

in that house of prayer,

it was turned into a
house of unwed mothers.

- Hm, isn't he sensuous, go on.

- In 1752, he met Duchess
Francesca of Canarou,

to whom he's been emotionally
attached ever since.

- [Woman] Well, we'll
just have to detach him.

- Drawn in Venice on the
ninth of September, 1754.

Your highness, I
believe all the points

concerning our contract
have been covered.

Do you have any
further questions?

- Uh yes, do you
play backgammon?

- Play what?

- Don't tell me you've
never heard of backgammon.

(mumbles)

- Your highness, we
would love to learn

your Oriental games, I'm sure
they're quite fascinating

but we don't wanna keep
you away from your country

any longer than necessary.

So, if you'll just sign
on the dotted line...

- [Calipha] Stop!

- Ah, light to my
eyes, music to my ears.

- Ugh, cool it, Akmhed.

- I protest in the name
of the republic of Venice.

We do not allow women to
meddle in the affairs of state.

- Let's get one thing
straight, sweetheart.

My husband may be the
great Caliph of Shiraz

but he does not bow to
Mecca without asking me.

Now, put that in your
water pipe and smoke it.

- Oh, darling you're wonderful.

- Why do you take this from her?

- You should see how
she plays backgammon.

- Well, very well.

What do you ask the
republic in return

for his highness' signature?

- Use your tiny
imagination, honey.

- You don't mean...

I see, perhaps I could, I mean,

I would be more
than happy to uh...

- You bet your sweet gondola
you would but no thanks,

would be like a drop of
martini in the desert.

What I need is a
flood, a real man.

Jacomo Casanova, bring him
to me or there's no deal.

- But he's--
- A man, a real man

and you have no right to
keep such trembling desire

rotting in your jails.

(light dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Divine Francesca.

- Nice shot, Fuljenso.

- Naturally.

- My darling, Casanova,
meet me tonight

at the Campo Nettunu, I love
you, Francesca, use the file.

(mumbling)

- Ahh, ooh!

- I get the white pieces.

- Come on, you had
them yesterday.

- Akmhed--
- Alright.

But it isn't fair.

Why won't you let me
sign that contract?

You know how much
Shiraz needs the money.

- Be patient, my dear.

We'll sign, just as soon as
they've met my conditions.

Now, roll the dice.

(laughing)

- Two sexes, uh, two sixes.

(laughing)

- That's nice.

- [Francesca] This is where
we're supposed to meet him.

- [Fuljenso] I'll
give him the stuff.

- Guards, guards, get
this filth out of here.

I'm gonna report
this to the pope.

- What's all this
shouting about?

- You're in a lot of trouble.

I ask for a Bible and
you send me a dirty book?

- A dirty book?
- How dare you, sir?

- What is the matter with you?

You asked for a Bible
and we gave you...

Holy shit, look at the
size of those tits.

(hitting loudly and grunting)

(light dramatic music)

- Hmm delicious.

So, mister umm...

- Jacomino, yeah, Jacomino.
- Jacomino.

Um, what were you
doing with this, hmm?

- You see, sir, I have a cold.

- Not the
handkerchief, the dice.

The guards told me that
the dice were fully loaded.

Now, with dice like these,

I do not see why
you had to steal.

- Well, you see the dice of
the guys I was playing with

were more loaded than mine

and I lost every scooty I owned.

- Silence, I've
heard enough excuses.

Now, I sentence you.

(gavel bangs loudly)
I give you six months

for petty theft, 12
months for grand larceny,

two and a half years for
peddling without a license and--

- Do you mind if
I write this down?

- 6 3/4 years for
daring to interrupt me

and 8 3/4 years for
resisting arrest and

(chuckling)

here comes the biggie, 12
years for disturbing the peace.

(gavel bangs loudly)
My peace.

- To arms, to arms,
Casanova has escaped.

- How dare you come
screaming and shouting

into the office of
the prefect of Venice,

now tell me calmly and
quickly, who has escaped?

- Casanova.

- Casanova, Casanova?

Casanova has escaped?

To arms, to arms!

- To arms, to arms!
(shouting)

(light dramatic music)

- Made in Japan?

Oh, I love it, here.

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Man] Just this morning,
I put in my new glass eye.

(swords clanking)

(speaking in foreign language)

(upbeat harpsichord music)

- There he is, look, over there.

- [Man] If we hurry, we
might get him, sarge.

- [Sarge] Ugh, it's too late
for that now but listen--

- [Man] Oh, he's a wizard,
now he's over there.

- Sorry to bother you in the
nipple of the, oh (chuckles)

forgive me, I meant to say
in the middle of the night

but Casanova has escaped.

- You think he's
in this vicinity?

- Indeed, I do.

- Why are you staring
at my brassiere?

Do you suspect he's in there?

- One never knows, does one?

- Do you mind if I look?
(slaps loudly)

- Do you have a search warrant?

- Oh, no.

- Then you'll have to excuse me.

I have bread to bake.

- It's a shame, that, because
if you had known where he was,

I'd have shared with you the
reward of a thousand scooty.

- Oh, a mere
thousand scooty, oh.

(laughing)

That's a ridiculously
low sum to pay

for a man of that value.

I certainly wouldn't give
him up for so little.

(mumbling)

(light dramatic music)

(groaning)
(crashing loudly)

(gasping)

- Oh, shh!

- This is becoming a habit.

- Look, you see, I'm in
a little bit of trouble.

I was coming down the
street and this guy--

- I know who you are.

- You do?
- Yes, the sergeant just left.

- Oh, the sergeant?

- I hear also he told me that
there are a thousand scooty

riding on this pretty
little head of yours.

- A thousand scooty?
- Yes.

(laughing)

- Look, you're not gonna
turn me in, are you?

Look, you see, I
had to do what I do,

I'm not such a bad guy.

I just got this burning,
yearning, hungry
feeling inside me.

- I understand, honey.
- You do?

- You look half starved.
- Half starved.

As a matter of fact,

my appetite is bigger
than it's ever been.

- Oh.
(chuckling)

(footsteps approaching)

Oh, that's my husband!

Quick, hide in the storage room.

- Well, this is the last tray.

These kits are for the
prefect, I'm going to bed.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, darling.

You must rush to
Verona right away.

Your brother's wife's
run off with her lover.

He's chasing her and no one's
there to sell the loaves.

- Well, I suppose I must go.

- Yes, yes, go on,
darling, hurry, hurry.

Look what I have brought you.

- I've never seen such
beautiful buns in my whole life.

(chuckling)

Oh, don't flatter me, I'm
sure you've seen better ones.

- I mean it, never.

They're so round, so
firm, so fully packed,

so free leasing on the draw.

- Oh, then come and get
them, they're all yours.

Oh, mmmm.

- Divine.

(light dramatic music)

- Into the cellar,
all three of you.

I'll teach you to raise
the hell of your habits.

That is not the habit
during holy mass.

You'll be locked in the
cellar til tomorrow at dawn.

Now, get to work.

Start mending those
old clothes over there.

- Yes, reverend mother superior.

- It's quite dark in here.

Well, I guess I'll have
to leave you my lantern.

I sincerely hope you'll use
this time for deep meditation.

Remember, you're taking
your vows next week.

- Can you imagine

staying in this stinking
trap til tomorrow?

"Work," she says.

If I wanted to work, I
certainly wouldn't have decided

to become a nun.

- Oh, come on.

We might as well sew a
few of those old clothes.

It'll help pass the time.

- I know how to pass the time.

Ovid, Ars Amatoria.

- But that's Latin, don't tell
me you wanna do homework now.

- You don't understand.

This tells us all
about the art of love.

- Oh.
- But who the hell is Ovid?

- He was a great poet
who lived in Rome

over a thousand years ago.

- Wow.
- They knew about love

way back then?

- Of course, stupid.

There wouldn't be so many Romans

around today if they didn't.

Listen, I'll
translate it to you.

Look, the beloved bed
receives the two lovers.

(light organ music)
Stop, oh muse,

a step before the
closed chamber.

- You've gotta be kidding.

- Quiet, it gets even better
later on, it gets sexy.

Without your help, all alone,

they start to whisper tenderly.

(whispering and giggling)

Nor will the left hand
lie idle on the bed.

You read.

- Those fingers
will find what to do

in those places where Amor
secretly wets his arrows.

By Andromade it was done,
by the heroic Hector.

Not in war alone did he avail.

With the captured Hernecerin,
did the great Achilles

went on the soft bed.

Tired of enemies, he
stretched his body.

You let yourself be touched,
Brisaius, by those hands,

who in battle against Troy
fought so victoriously

and this very thing,
wanton one, delighted thee

that a conquerer's hand
should caress thy limbs.

Don't be too hasty, believe me,

love's bliss must
not be hastened

but gradually lured
on by slow delay.

When you have seen
her trembling eyes,

which glitter at the
sunshine, all glowing,

then she will complain
and lovingly murmur

and sweetly sigh and utter
words which fit the sport.

(breathing heavily)

(gasping)

Oh no, you can't do
that, it's a sin!

- No, my dear, it's a sin only
when you do it with a man.

- But alas, it's a
sin if you don't.

(gasping)
- A man.

- A man.
- A man.

- Shh!

I'm a criminal.

If they catch me,
they'll kill me.

- They'll kill you?

But then that means you're--
- You're a wanted criminal.

- If love is a crime,
then I'm wanted,

public enemy number one.

Jacomo Jeronimo Casanova.

- Jesus Christ.

- No no, Jacomo
Jeronimo Casanova.

- Angela, why are you cursing?

- Yes, nuns shouldn't
speak like that.

- Nuns?

- Oh, thank you, St.
Gertrude for answering

all those candles
I've been lighting.

If you answer one more
of my prayers, I promise,

what the hell can I promise?

I'm already gonna become a nun.

- Hmm, well if you
tell me your prayer,

perhaps I can help you.

I'll give you three
guesses and 30 seconds

to get your clothes off.

- You've come to
the right party.

(breathing heavily)

- More, more, oh more.

(moaning and breathing heavily)

I can't get enough.

- Neither can I, mmm.

(moaning and breathing heavily)

- You're the most
beautiful, sensuous,

tender woman that I've
ever held in my arms.

I want nothing better
than to make you happy.

- [Woman] So make me happy.

- But how?
- What do you mean but how?

I may be a novice but I
know there's more to this

than kissing and grabbing.

What's keeping you
from going all the way?

- I've uh, never
done it to a nun.

- [Woman] But I'm not
a nun til next week.

- Oh my, yes.

Are you sure you know
what you're getting into?

- Are you sure you know
what you're getting into?

- There that's
the way he's gone.

- But sergeant,
that's a convent.

- You're right, all the
more reason to hurry.

Let's go.

- [Nun] Help, help!

No man is allowed in here.

- But we're not men, we're...

- I don't know what's
the matter with me.

- I think you can't get it up
because you're not Casanova.

- I'm Casanova.

- [Woman] I bet you're just
some common crook or something.

- Don't be cruel.

- Wait, you can't treat
the poor man like this.

- Yes.

- Can't you see
the embarrassment,

the anguish he's going through?

The way he's forcing himself
to get something straight

between us, all he
needs to perform

is a little bit of warmth,
a grain of human tenderness,

and I'm willing to
sacrifice myself

to put the flower of my youth
on the altar of generosity.

- Sweet.

- Then you'd better get
his pants off first.

- Casanova?
- Uh-huh.

- Casanova in here?

These walls haven't contained

the sports of men for centuries,

only our confessor father,
Anselmo's allowed in here

and he certainly isn't Casanova.

(chuckling)

- And I bet he has as much fun.

(laughing)

Reverend mother,
you'll forgive us

but we shall have to
inspect your establishment.

After you.

- I just can't bring
myself to do this.

I cannot take away the
freshness of your--

- Cut the bullshit, man.

You don't give a damn
for her womanhood.

It's your manhood
that's out to lunch.

- [Casanova] The only thing
I'm waiting for, my dear,

is the resurrection.

- [Woman] I just hope
we don't have to wait

til the third day.

- [Casanova] Please have faith.

If you believe it'll
happen, and when it does,

I hope you'll be ready.

- That's a man.

- Of course it's a man,
it's Father Anselmo.

He must be giving
the girls a sermon.

There's nothing
unusual about that.

See for yourself.

- Sorry to leave
you girls like this

but you know how it is with
us gonifs, touch and go.

- I'm sure you'll find nothing
unusual in here, sergeant.

- Just three nude women.

- And their monk.

- Of course they're nude.

The father was giving a sermon.

He finds it helps our
girls to bare their souls.

Isn't that right, father?

- Whatever you say, mother.

- But that doesn't mean

they're running a
strip joint, sergeant.

Would you mind
looking the other way?

- [Jacomo] Not that
way, the other way.

- Who said that?

- You did.

- I did?
- Uh-huh.

- That's funny, I don't
remember saying it.

- Jessamina!

- What is it, doll?

- Where is my breakfast?

- I can't make your
breakfast without bread.

The baker hasn't sent it yet.

Sergeant, go and
arrest this baker

and bring him to me here.

- Yes sir, yes sir.

- Go.

- Yes sir, yes sir.
- Move!

(mumbling)

- I came as soon as
i got your message.

Is there any chance that
you've changed your mind

about the contract,
your highness?

- Not a chance.

I just want to know what's
holding up my rendezvous

with Casanova.

- But what does his
highness, the caliph,

think of this meeting?

- Oh wonderful, wonderful,
just what I wanted.

(laughing)

- But isn't he jealous?

- Listen, my husband
may be an idiot

but he's modern
enough to understand

that I'm not a one-sheep woman.

- I see but I'm afraid we
can't seem to locate the man.

- Can't locate him?

I thought you said
he was in your jail.

Don't tell me that the
great republic of Venice

can't even build a safe jail.

Has he escaped?

- Escaped, why, of course not.

What a silly idea.

No, it's just that uh--

- You're a liar.

(crashing)
- Oh!

(knocking on door)
- Come in.

- Senator Dell'Acqua would
like to see you, Mister Grande.

- Dell'Acqua, I
wonder what he wants.

- He seems very mad,

I think it has something
to do with Casanova.

- Casanova, the very
mention of his name

makes my blood boil.

- Mine, too.

- The baker I was ordered
to bring you, Mister Grande,

very near escaped but with
my cunningness, I won out.

(laughing)

- Baker, baker?

What the hell would
I want with a baker?

Look, get out of my way.

- Beatrice?

That's not your
husband, who is it?

- I don't know if I
should tell you, Madonna.

It's a bit of a secret and I'm
not one to gossip, you know.

- Oh yes, I know, but I'm
very good at keeping secrets.

Plus if you don't tell me,
I'll have you arrested.

- Hmm, well in that case,
he's Jacomo Casanova.

- Ah, oh, eh, well, it's been
nice seeing you, Beatrice.

Drop in again real
soon, will you?

- He's mine, I found him.

- Oh, really?

Let's see.

H, H, H, oh, here it is.

Havius Havit,
hardening, harboring.

Harboring a criminal,

punishable by 15 years in
one of our sturdy jails.

I hope you have sufficient
change of underwear.

- Alright, you win,
don't forget the pill.

- You're safe here.

- I am?

- Why don't you go hide in
the bed, my little cavalier?

- Um, cavalier, huh?

Cavalier is silly, you know.

Actually, I even got kicked
out of the Girl Scouts.

(laughing)

Oh nice.
- I see, of course.

You obviously want to keep
your identity a secret,

right Jacomo?

- Why, it's not
Jacomo, it's Jacomino.

- Oh, cute.

- Cute, you like it, huh?

- Jacomino, Jacomino, Casanova.

- I think you're--

- Oh no, don't worry.
- No?

- It'll be our little secret.
- Will it?

- My husband will never know.

- Your husband?

(playful harpsichord music)

Husband.

- Wouldn't you like to
munch on something else?

- You wouldn't have any
milk or cookies, would ya,

I'm getting a little
tired of figs.

Whoo.

- I can't remember
having this much fun

since my vibrator got stuck.

(laughing)

I sort of expected
something different, though.

- Different?
- Mm-hmm.

- A bit more refined.

Life in jail must
have really been hard,

turns men into animals,
right my little Casanova?

- Well, I'm not little
and I'm not Casanova.

- If one more person tell me

I've got coffee on my face,
I'm going to kill him!

I have to change.

- [Madonna] Oh, how on
Earth did you get so dirty?

- I ran into an
espresso machine.

Now, stop asking stupid
questions and help me change.

And what are you doing in
bed in the middle of the day?

- In bed?
- Yes.

- Oh, well, I, I, I just
wanted to be ready for you

in case you came
home for a quickie.

- Quickie, quickie?
- Uh-huh.

- We haven't had a
quickie in 17 years.

- That's why I
wanted to be ready.

- No no, don't dress in there.

- Why not, it's the
dressing room, isn't it?

- Yes, of course it's
the dressing room

but I want you to dress out
here where I can see you.

It's been so long since
I've seen you dress.

You have such sexy legs.

- Jessamena, are
you feeling alright?

(laughing)

- Yes, of course
I'm feeling alright.

Here, let me get
another suit for you.

- Well, get a nice one.

I have to see the senator.

- Oh.

(whispering)

- Jessamena, you really
think I've got nice legs?

- Of course, they are,
they're incredible.

(groaning)

- Not these pants,
the black ones.

- No, oh, oh.

- What the hell's the
matter with you today?

- Well it's just that I,
I, I feel so affectionate.

I can't control myself.

- If this keeps up,

I'll have to cancel your
subscription to Playgirl.

- Oh.

Um uh, uh, this is
our new maid, Rosetta,

I thought we'd need
her in our summer home.

- Well, what's she
doing in the closet?

- In the closet?

Oh well, she's uh, well--

- Waiting for your dirty
vest, you naughty boy.

(giggling)

Playing in the mud I see?

(laughing)

- We have no time for you
to clean them now, Rosetta.

(light playful music)

Rosetta, you'll have
to leave right away

for our home in Vicenza.

- Yes, Madonna.

- I'll give you a
letter of introduction

to give to our governess.

You'll be taking orders
from her til we arrive.

- Rosetta?
- Yes, sir?

- Here.
- Thank you.

- You shave.

- Well, nobody's perfect.

- Rosetta's from Sicily.

- Touch of the Arabic, huh?

(giggling)
(speaking in foreign language)

But you're a bit skinny,
we'll have to fatten you up.

- Oh, really?

- Why don't you go
and eat some figs.

There's a whole crate
of them in the kitchen.

- Figs, oh.

- I hope they don't throw
me out of the order.

I've been a priest as
long as I can remember.

I don't know what
else I could do.

- I hear they're looking
for missionaries in Uganda.

- Don't get funny with me.

You got me into this
mess in the first place.

I just hope your cousin
in Vicenza can put me up

for a couple of weeks.

- Why all the security?

- Sorry, it's confidential.

- Confidential, like hell it is.

Everybody in Venice knows
you're looking for Casanova.

- [Man] We have to
search everyone.

He's probably
wearing a disguise.

- [Man] I am not Casanova.

- Don't worry,
they'll let us pass.

These have the seal of
the Bishop of Venice.

What's the matter?

- Father, I want
to confess my sins.

- But I already
know what you did.

I saw it, remember?

- Yes, but I--
- You mean there's more?

- Oh, hurry, there's
a church over there.

- I'll have to search you.

- Take your hands
off that woman.

- I was just searching her, sir.

- I will vouch for her, this
is my wife's chambermaid.

You idiot, out of the way.

(bell ringing)

- [Woman] Last call,
Dell'Acqua Line from 74,

departure for...
(door slamming)

Gate number one.

- Wait, wait for us.

These are the documents you
left in the church, father.

Don't worry, he's
in the confessional.

- Your pass?

Let me see it.

Alright.

Well we made it, Casanova.
- Shh!

There are spies
all over the place.

- Oh.

Look at that chambermaid on
the front of the ship, see her?

- Yeah?
- He's a spy.

CIA or KGB?

- GOB.
(gasps)

- It's all roads lead to
Rome but only one to Vicenza.

How long will it take
to get my room ready?

- Just a few
minutes, excellence,

as soon as I've taken
care of your horse.

- You take Bank America?

- Oh I'm sorry, we only
take American Express.

- Oh, that's fine, I
have traveler's checks.

(light harpsichord music)
- Hey, Roberto!

Come and help with
these horses, come on!

Move your ass, come on!

- [Roberto] I'm coming.

- Is anybody there?

- Allow my to introduce myself.

I am the Count of Tiretta.

- Charmed, and I am the
Countess of Tivulzi.

- Alright then, now we'll
see about fixing up that room

I promised you.

Ah, good evening, madame,
what can I do for you?

- I believe the
countess is in search

of accommodations
for the evening

and I'm sure you'll
be able to help her.

- Well, as a matter of fact,

I do have a room I
could give the lady.

- Oh dear, it's so wet.

- Bless you, I was
wondering if perhaps

you could put us
up for the night.

- [Man] I'm afraid I only
have two rooms, father,

and they're both accounted for.

- Oh, isn't that a shame?

We've rode all the way
from Venice in the rain.

- I'd be more than happy
to share my accommodation

with the reverend and
perhaps the countess

wouldn't mind dividing her
room with the young lady here?

- I'd be delighted to.

You say you've come
from Venice, father?

What news is there
of Casanova's escape?

- Casanova who?

- Why are you interested
in that man, countess?

- Oh, my dear count,
for the same reason

that every other woman is
interested in Casanova.

- Don't you have
anything better?

- Just the room on top of this

but I thought the
ladies should get that.

I'm sorry but we don't
receive many guests like you.

- Wonsie why.

(lips fluttering)

(spring bouncing)

You take this one,
you're the monk.

You wouldn't find a
place like this in Paris.

No sir, that's a real
city, full of erotic fun.

Guy like Casanova would
look ridiculous there.

- Casanova who?

- The lover, the famous lover.

- What is it?

- I'd like a room with
a maid, I need a bath.

- Well, come in,

we'll see what we can do.
- Thank you.

- He's a fake, father,
his fame is a soap bubble

kept alive by frustrated women

who would rather
invent an affair

than risk ruining
their reputation

by supposing Casanova's
inability to satisfy them.

- Satisfy them how?

- Ah well, um, take my
word for it, father.

I know a lot about
these worldly things.

That's why in Paris
they call me seefois.

- Seefois, what does that mean?

- It's French for six times.

- Six times what?

- Ah well, um--

(chuckling)

- Oh, a year?

- No father, a night.

- Why?

Can't you get it
right the first time?

- Thank you, duchesses,

for allowing me to
share the room with you.

- [Woman] Don't mention it.

Like always, (mumbling)

ooh, I'm not used to
undressing myself.

Would you help me, uh?

- Rosetta.
- Rosetta.

Please undress me.

Have you never
undressed a lady before?

- Oh, a lot, you see, I come
from a very large family

of sisters.
- Oh where's your family from?

- Disneyland.

- You don't seem
very good at it.

- She's not a lot of
things she seems to be.

(giggling)

- I'd even go as
far as that and say

that Casanova's
fame is so ambiguous

that anyone could
take advantage of it.

- Anyone?

- Maybe not you, father,
but almost anyone.

I even bet that if
I were to go out

and tell them that
I was Casanova,

I'd polish off both
of them in no time.

- I wish I had something
that I could put up.

- I'd bet anything I own
against your worn out tunic.

- Monsieur, I shall
accept your wager.

You've got a deal, McNeal.

(light peaceful music)

- Rosetta, would you
get my nightgown?

It's in the red bag.
- Of course.

Oh yes, excuse me.

(gasping)

- Pss, pss, pss.

- Ladies, please,
save a poor fugitive.

I must confess, I cannot
hide it any longer.

I am Jacomo Casanova.

- What?

You?

- You're lying.

- I'll show you if I'm lying.

(gasping)

- Oh, let me go, you fiend.

Oh, help!

Help!

- Don't be so pushy, I'll get
you next, don't be so pushy.

Hey, I am Casanova.

- I think he lost the bet.

- [Man] Open up in the name
of the republic of Venice.

- [Man] What is it?

- [Man] Has anyone stopped
in this inn tonight?

- [Man] Why?

- [Man] We're
looking for a monk.

(groaning and hitting)

- Oh!

- Show me to his room.
- He's up there.

(chuckling)

(laughing)

- Ah, so I finally caught
you at last, Mister Casanova.

- Casanova?

I'm not Casanova.

I'm Count Tiretta and
I'm on my way to Paris.

- I'm terribly sorry, count.

Actually, I was told that
he was wearing a monk's garb

when last seen.

- A monk, huh?

- Well uh, there's his clothes.

He's upstairs with the girls.

- Upstairs with the
girls, oh my God.

That's him for sure,
come on, aruvaderci!

- Will somebody get
this animal off me?

(banging loudly on door)

- Open this door in the name
of the republic of Venice!

(shouting)
Where is he?

Get up.

(slapping loudly and grunting)

- Might I know what you
are doing in my room?

I am the Countess Trivulzi.

- We're looking for a
prisoner who's on the run.

- Whom?

- Casanova.

- There's your man.

- No, you're making a mistake.

- A mistake?

But you just said that
you were Casanova, right?

Rosetta?

- He certainly did.

- No, please, I'm
the Count of Tirreta,

I was on my way to Paris.

- Oh yeah, and I'm Pope Paul,
I was on my way to Moscow.

- Yeah, no, please!
- Get him outta here.

(shouting)

- Please, this is a mistake,

you've gotta get
your hands off me

or you will hear about this,
I am on my way to Paris and...

- Psst, psst!

Relax, cavalier, why don't
you slip into bed with me?

(light harpsichord music)

She's sleeping.

I know who you are.

- Really?

- I've been waiting
for this all my life.

- Oh, really?

- Imagine, sleeping
with Jacomo Casanova.

- Oh, he's coming, too?

- Oh, you never give up, do you?

(playful music)

(light dramatic music)

- Your eminence,
Jacomo Casanova.

- That's not him, you fool!

- That's not him, you fool.

- That's not him, you fool.

- You're not him, you fool.

- Sure I'm not him, I
told you that before.

- But how we're
supposed to know that?

We don't know what
he looks like.

- But the lady said
he was Casanova.

- Lady, what lady?

- The Countess Trivulzi.

We found this man in
her chambers, dressed
as you see him.

- This man is the
Count of Tirreta.

- I'll take these
off you gentlemen.

Now, you idiots.

- You idiot, you.

[Narrator] It seems that
Jacomino was in great demand

and the Countess Trivulzi,

who also was looking
for Casanova,

took him as her
hostage to her villa.

(light harpsichord music)

- I can't imagine how
you've been waiting

for a nice bath like this.

- Really, oh, I ain't
getting in that, whew!

(giggling)

- You've got such a
wonderful sense of humor.

Please, step in.

- No, no, no, it's a
little too hot for me.

- The water's not that hot.

- Well, some like it hot.

I'm not getting in.

- Burn his clothes.

- Oh wait, just a minute.

My good luck charm.

The other one's in here, too.

- Oh of course, everyone
knows that Casanova

is as lucky in gambling
as he is in love.

- They do?

Oh, I mean they do.

I mean, I am, yes,
lucky in love,

lucky in cards,
just plain lucky.

- Marquise of Capafruta is
here and with his party.

- Oh, I'm afraid I
have to leave you.

Miranda and Sophia
will take care of you.

(giggling playfully)

- Oh, oh!
- Brace yourselves, woo!

No soap, where is the soap?

(laughing)
Where are you going?

Oh, I'm looking for the soap.

Where is the soap?

Funny, you don't look Italian.

(chuckling)

Oh, wonderful, oh God.

(giggling playfully)

You rich people sure
know how to live.

(giggling)

- Francesca, what a
surprise, welcome.

- Thank you, Aunt Priscilla.

Are you all right?

I mean, have you had
any visitors lately?

- Why, as a matter
of fact, I have.

You'll never guess
who came to visit me.

- Who?
- Cecilia.

- Oh, Cecelia.

(chuckling)

I thought Cecelia was in
a convent, what happened?

- I'm not sure, she
seemed so upset.

She won't tell me anything

but I'm sure she'll confide
in you if you give her time.

- Hmm, I'll have
to talk with her.

- The Count Tirreta
is here to see you.

- Count Tirreta?

I'll be right there.

- Jacomo.

- Francesca.
(romantic violin music)

At last, how did
you know it was me?

- I have my informers.

- How long has it been now?

- Two years, 10
months, six days,

four hours, and 16 minutes
but who's counting?

(moaning)

Jacomo.
- Caro.

(moaning)
Mi amore.

- Darling.

- Francesca, they're as
beautiful as I remember them.

- Ah, I know, my Jacomo, I know.

Why'd you stop?

- You just told me
to stop, didn't you?

- Come on, if you always
did what women told you to,

you wouldn't be Jacomo Casanova.

- That's right, come my darling.

- There's the bed.
- Oh.

- Francesca's here.

Wait, she has a visitor
now, a Count Tiretta.

- Tiretta?

Oh my God, we've gotta warn her.

The man's a maniac.

On the trip over here,
he tried to rape me.

He even went as far as
saying he was Casanova.

- And did he rape you?

- No, the real
Casanova saved me.

- And did he rape you?

- Oh no, he was too busy
with the Countess Trivulzi.

- Some people have all the fun.

- Jacomo.

- I'm sorry, Francesca.

It's probably those long
nights in those cold cells.

- Or in too many warm beds.

- What are you talking about?

- The baker's wife,
the prefect's wife,

and whoever it was you
spent last night with.

- Oh, somebody's lying
to you, it's not true.

- You are the one who's lying.

You could have had the decency

to leave a little
of that for me.

- Oh, Francesca.

- Francesca?
- Let me try again.

- Yeah?
- I have to talk to you.

- Alright.
- Please, Francesca,

won't you wait a moment?

My dear, please, give
me another chance.

Let me try it again.

After all, nobody's
perfect the first time.

- While I'm gone,
put some yeast on it.

- [Jacomo] I already
did, and a little jam.

- What do you want?

I'm so sorry if I've
interrupted something.

- Don't worry, there was
nothing to interrupt.

- I just wanted to warn you
that the Count of Tiretta

is not what he claims to be.

- What do you mean?

- I mean yesterday he
claimed to be Casanova.

It seems that he
rushed into the room

of Countess Trivulzi and--

- And he made love
to her, right?

- No, he didn't.

The real Casanova did.

- The real Casanova?

- Was she sure?

- It's hard not to be sure
about something like that

and he made love to her
all night and next day,

he accompanied the countess
to her palace and--

- Stop it, I've heard
enough, please go now.

- Hmph.

- I hope you have an explanation
for what she just said.

- Seems to me that someone
is having a great deal of fun

with my name.

- And who might that be?

- The chambermaid,
she's the one.

- The what?

(chuckling)

Really, Jacomo, I'm sure
you can do better than that.

- Francesca, you don't
seem to understand.

You see, the
chambermaid was a man.

He, mascquerading as her,

is the only one that
could have done it.

Now, all I have to do is
to stop her, uhh, him.

Uh, a horse.

- A horse?

- Yes, my kingdom for a horse.

I must go to the villa and
stop her, him, immediately.

- If you don't come back
with tangible proof,

after what I went
through to liberate you,

I'll drag you back to
prison with my own hands.

- I'm most anxious to meet your
cousin, the Count of Canosa.

- Well, what's keeping
the Count of Canosa?

- My dears, I wanted to talk
to you about a mutual friend.

You know the Duchess of Amalphi?

I just wanted to tell you...

- They want Casanova, well,
they're gonna get Casanova.

(chattering)

- Wait until they find
out who he really is.

- Who is he?

- I can't tell you,
I promised that I...

Well, if you
promise not to tell.

(whispering and giggling)

(gasping)

(whistling)

- Yes.

- Countess Amarilla.

Come, come my dear,
come and sit down.

- Oh, my favorite drink.

- Oh, isn't he a darling?

I wish he'd do that to me.

- Excuse me.

Ah, senorena.

Oh, so sorry, please excuse me.

- Hi, I'm the Count of Canosa.

Is this a game of chance?

- Actually, we're rolling dice.

- Dice, aye?
- Would you like to try them?

- Ha, well, you see I
don't know much about that.

As a child, I was
raised in a nunnery.

(chuckling)
I mean a seminariny.

- Oh, not bad, ten.

Good number, ten.

- Is the pot right?

- Uh, yeah.

- Oh.
- Won again.

- Fantastic.

Oh, I'm sorry, it's your dice.

- There's only one person
who has a reputation

for being so lucky at
both gambling and love.

- Shh!
- Quiet.

- Casanova.
(gasping)

- Incredible.
- Incredible is right.

- Hey, why don't you
four come over here?

Perhaps our luck will change.

- Yes, before he wins
the shirts off our backs.

- Of course.
- That's a great idea.

Let's bet our clothes.

- You mean strip dice?

- I'll start off by
staking the garment

that covers my satiny body
against all your gold coins.

- Hmm, me too,
agreed, Count Canosa?

- Let me get this
straight first.

What you're saying is
you wanna bet your gowns

against my gold.

- Mmhmm.
- Right, loverboy.

- How much did you pay for it?

- That's not the point.

- Oh, it's not?

- If you win, you get
to see what's under it.

- Oh, a surprise, agreed.

- And I bet my gown, too.

- I stake my snuff box.

- And I stake my sword.

- And I stake my
waterproof watch.

- And I stake my broach.

- Oh, broach, now let
me get this straight.

Now, we've got a sword,
we've got a waterproof watch,

a snuff box, a broach,

one, two, three
dresses, is that right?

Okay gang, you're on, who
wants to go first, you?

- Let me.
- Go on, lucky, go ahead.

(playful music)

Thank you, okay, what's next?

- Me.
- Me.

- Me.
- And me.

- Hold it, count.

(gasping)

- Good evening.

Arete, look down.

- Why, all the fun's over there.

- Arete.

Ladies and gentlemen, I
hope we're disturbing you,

no I mean, I don't hope
we're not disturbing you.

I mean, I hope you
understand what I mean.

- [Woman] No, what's the
meaning of this unjust

and vile intrusion?

- Shh!

- [Man] Does the countess
remember a certain monk?

- [Countess] I remember
many monks, so what?

- We have reason to believe
that this particular monk

is Casanova in disguise,
countess, and that now,

he's pretending to
be the Count of--

- Tiretta.

- Tiretta.

- I'm sorry, sergeant, but
I have not seen the priest

since yesterday.

- Nor do we know who
your Count of Tiretta is.

- The only outsider in this
house is the Count Canosa.

You can have him if you want.

- No, thank you.

- Is that all, sergeant?

- Of course, of course.

Please, if you would
like to continue

with what you were doing.

- Oh, wait for me!

(laughing)

- The ladies seem to be in
a hurry to pay their debts.

I wish I'd been
this lucky before.

- How come we have
two pairs of dice now?

- Gentlemen, we've been screwed.

Come out, you swindler.

Come out, you coward!

Come out and fight
if you're a man.

- Casanova, please,
don't turn me in.

It wasn't my fault.

I didn't claim to be you,
it was all these women

who said that I was you.

(chuckling)

- Thought you were
me, how ridiculous.

- [Man] Come here,
you shit, come on!

- That man is calling you,

go out there and fight.
- Where are you, Casanova?

- [Jacomo] What do you think
you've got that sword for?

- Well, it came
with the costume.

I wouldn't know how
to use it, anyway.

- Nevermind, I've got
some use for you, anyway.

- [Man] Coward!

- That does it.

- No, don't go.

If anything happens to you,
what's gonna happen to me?

- I must defend my name.

- Casanova where are you?
- On guard!

- Who are you?

- You're not the
man with the dice.

- [Woman] Casanova?

- I'll give you three guesses.

- Zorro.

(trumpets blaring)

- That's one.

- Nathaniel, ha!

- That's two.

- Count of Monte Cristo.

- You're wrong, you're out.

I am Jacomo Casanova.

- Casanova?
- Yes.

- Then who was the other guy?

- My double, ha!

(trumpets blaring)
(swords clanking)

- Casanova, go
get him, Casanova.

(grunting)

- Are you alright?
- Fine.

- It's been a great pleasure
fencing with Casanova.

- Mine, as well.

My dear friend, if
you're ever in Venice,

please, look me up
again, won't you?

- I will indeed.

- Please.

- Oh, Naples.
- Yes.

- Now then,
aruvaderci, good bye.

Hold on there, you
peasant, just moment.

Wait, what is your name?

- Jacomino.
- Jacomino, what a

stupid name, come along,
let's go, let's go.

- Lies, lies, lies,
they're all lies.

- No, your highness,
everything has been proved

beyond any reasonable doubt.

- You mean to tell
me that Casanova

was locked in a room with
three nuns and a monk

and nothing happened?

- Absolutely, even the
monk had no complaints.

- Let me tell you something.

If I was to offer my body
and he proved to be a eunuch,

I'd make sure he stayed one.

- Really?

Your highness, we'd be doing
the family planning board

of Venice a great
favor if we secured

that scoundrel's impotence.

(chuckling)

By the way, how exactly
were you planning to do it?

- We have men in our
followings that are expert

at creating eunuchs.

Unfortunately, senator,
my own informers

have come up with quite
the opposite information

about your man, Casanova.

- But, but--
- We also have tangible proof

and witnesses, for instance,

Beatrice, the baker's wife,
Jessamine, the prefect's wife,

the Countess Trivulzi,
the Countess Sardinia,

the actress, Fearabella...

- [Jacomino] Believe
me, your duchesness,

I did it to all those women.

- [Duchess] You must
be a fantastic man.

- [Jacomino] That's
hardly the word for it.

- [Francesca] And the
Countess Trivulzi?

- What are you doing here?

- Oh me, nothing.

- Don't lie to me.

You wanna know who those

two mysterious cavaliers
are, don't you?

- But I already
know who they are.

- One of them's Casanova, right?

- Right.

- Which one's that?

- [Woman] The one on the left.

- And the other one?

- Well, that's just
some poor fugitive

who says he's Casanova.

I helped him once out of pity.

- So you see, my dear Francesca,

it was he who made
it with the Contessa.

I wasn't even there, you
see, she thought it was me.

- Save your energy, Jacomo.

I've heard a lot of
tall tales in my day

but this one really tops them.

Both your stories are as
flimsy as your self respect.

- My dear madame, my
self respect is as intact

as it's ever been.

- Really?

- Really.

- You had me fooled.

- I hope you two
are good friends.

You may be sharing the same
cell for quite some time.

- Francesca...

- You think she means it?

- Francesca's not accustomed
to making idle threats.

- Well then, you've
gotta stop her.

- But how?

- What do you mean how?

You're Casanova.

If you don't know how to make
love to a woman, who does?

- Uh, I must confess, you see,

my lips, my eyes, my mind,
they function perfectly.

It's, ha ha ha, just that
I can't get the rest of me

to, um, cooperate.

- You mean?

- Yes, I'm afraid so.

- Not even a little bit?

- Like a fish out of water.

- Uh, boy, have we got trouble.

Wait a minute.

I could take your place.

(chuckling)

You take, we don't even look
alike, it wouldn't work.

She knows me too well, besides,

we don't even use
the same toothpaste.

- When the lights are low,

we could be mistaken
for each other.

- Do you really think so?

- Sure.

- Well, in the darkness,
you could sneak into the bed

and change your voice
like this and say

"You're the most beautiful
woman in the world,

"such magnificent hair,
such radiant eyes,

"such beautiful breasts,
such beautiful thighs.

"I can wait no longer, I love
you, I love you, I love you."

- I wouldn't turn you down.

Can I use some of
your toothpaste?

(light guitar music)

- You must tell me, Cecilia.

The happiness of my
life depends upon it.

I know there was a young
woman in the room of that inn.

Was it you?

- Yes but there was
also another man there,

dressed as a chambermaid.

- Was he that no-good scoundrel

that went around
saying he was Casanova?

- Oh no, he was
dressed up as a monk.

- Then it was
Casanova in your room.

The lying bastard,

I'll teach him to make
fun of me like this.

- Oh no, please.
- Darling,

why don't you go and
tell the servants

to go and prepare me a bath?

- Oh, but--
- I'll join you later.

I want you to sleep
in my room tonight.

- [Woman] And where
are you going to sleep?

- In your room.
- But why?

- I doubt whether I'd
be able to resist him

so I want him to find
you there instead of me.

- You mean he'll have the right
door but the wrong person?

- Right, and that
will be my revenge.

- [Woman] Sweet revenge.

(laughing)

(knocking on wood)

(grunting)

- Okay, we'll wait right here.

I want everyone to
be on the alert.

(knocking on door)

- Yes?

- Chevalliase, it's me, Cecilia.

- Cecilia, come in, Cecilia.

(gasping)
No, no, no, no, no,

stay for a while, stay.

- There's no time.

I thought Casanova was here.

Well look, look,
could you tell him,

say that Francesca was--

- You beast.

- Oh, Francesca, I was just
taking her temperature.

- It's enough that you'd
seduce half the married women

of Venice, but you also
go as far as corrupting

innocent little virgins
in my own house.

- Francesca, please, you
must at least let me explain.

- There's nothing to explain.

- But I--

(door slams)
(lock clicking)

Francesca, open this
door or I'll faint!

- [Woman] Casanova,
Casanova, Casanova!

(knocking on door)
(gasping)

What is it?

- Priscilla, you can go
back to your room now.

Casanova is not
coming here tonight.

- What do you mean?

He's here right now.

- You must be dreaming.

I just locked him in his room.

- And who do you think this is?

The hunchback of Notre Dame?

- Well, what are you doing here?

(groaning loudly)

- I'm looking for a shoemaker.

(distant crying)

(sobbing)

Shh.

(light dramatic music)

- Francesca, let me explain.

You're under the wrong window.

Cecilia's window
is further down.

- But I want to be with you.

- Then why did you send your
charming friend in your place?

We don't wanna be disturbed
now, right, Jacomino?

- Jacomino?

Francesca, please, let me in.

I've got to use the toilet.

- I wouldn't dream of it.

(gasping)
(dramatic music)

- Jacomo.

- I'm not Jacomo, I'm
Jacomino and I'm not Casanova.

- I don't care who you are.

All I know is that I love you.

(romantic violin music)

- [Jacomino] You're the
most beautiful woman,

wonderful hair, radiant eyes,

magnificent breasts,
beautiful thighs.

I can't wait any longer, I
must have you now, I love you.

I love you, I love you.

- Oh, I'm so happy, so happy.

- Jacomo Casanova.

- In the name of the
republic of Venice,

I order you to stop fornicating.

Mr. Jacomo Casanova, consider
yourself under arrest.

What are you doing there?

- Fornicating.

- Hop out of there
and get dressed.

Arete, look the other
way, turn around!

- Ha ha.

- I know of only one
man as quick as that

at drawing a sword
and he's that man.

Excuse me.

- But he's innocent.

(gasping)

- Just move an inch and I'll
blow your nose off for you.

In the name of the republic
of Venice, you, Casanova,

are under arrest.

(chuckling)

- No, please, no, no!

Oh, Jacomino!

But he's not
Casanova, believe me.

- I know.

- Well, why didn't
you say something?

- Well, because I
love the other one

and I've treated him unjustly.

- Oh, you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

- Francesca!
(gasping)

(romantic violin music)

- Can you ever forgive me?

- I just wanted
to prove my love.

- Come with me then.

You can prove it
to me right now.

- At last, we have
him, we have him!

- Who?

- Your loverboy.

- I don't know what
you're so upset about.

Any other man would
have been happy to know

that his wife was worthy
of Casanova's attention.

- I suppose you'd like me
to go ahead and thank him.

- Yes, thank him
for doing something

that you seem to have
forgotten all about.

- And just what is that?

- You see, you don't even
know what I'm talking about.

- Of course I do, and
let me tell you this,

my little cream puff, when
we're through with him,

he won't be able to bother
anybody else's wife.

- Oh no, you can't do that.

It's against the law.

- Against our laws but
I don't wish to reveal

any state secrets but he's
wanted by an Oriental power

who'd be more than willing
to do the job for us.

- You can't cut them
off, they're beautiful.

(chuckling)

- Don't worry, my pet,
I'll have them bronzed

and given to you
for your birthday

so you can wear
them as earrings.

(laughing)

- Oh!

- I always knew
you were the best.

- Shows you what a little
yeast can do for you.

- Yeah, two jars of Geritol.

Boy, am I glad I didn't
let them take you away.

- Away, where, back to jail?

- No, to the bedroom of
the Calipha of Shiraz.

- Calipha?

What does she want from me?

- Well, what every
woman desires.

(chuckling)

You know, they made a big
international affair out of you?

- Oh, really?

- No Casanova, no oil.

- Hmm, I had no idea that
my stock had risen so high

in the world market.

- Dell'Acqua even promised
to give you your freedom

in return for this
little service.

- Hmm, perhaps I ought
to take him up on it.

- Mm-mm, you won't have to.

Jacomino's doing it for you.

- Jacomino?

(laughing)

Takes one to know one.

- You've done it again, you've
brought me the wrong one.

Oh, get this idiot out of here.

I'm tired of looking
at his stupid face.

- Don't bother, your
horseness, I'm on my way.

- Stop, bring him
to the dungeons.

- Dungeons?
- Yes, you're the man

who slept with my wife.
- What?

- That's enough to give
you 15 years in jail.

- Oh, but...

- I'll make it 10, I've
already sentenced you to 42

and that makes resisting
arrest brings it up to 60

and another 15--
(shouting loudly)

- Yes, but which one?

- Him!

- But what makes you believe
that this is Casanova?

- Oh, who else could have given
me such a great performance?

- Ah, an unforgettable
adventure.

- [Woman] Night to remember.

- Free Casanova, free
Casanova, free Casanova!

- Let me see, this man
will be free tomorrow

if he performs one last service
to the republic tonight.

(dramatic music)

- A numerous amount of women,

even from the tiers
of aristocracy,

confirm that this is Casanova.

I suggest that we
give them our faith

and present this
man to the Calipha.

- Well, Fulcenzo,

you realize this is
an act of treason?

- But your eminence,
this is our last chance.

We have to get the Caliph
to sign the oil contract.

- Oh, I see.

I guess in this case, we
could call it diplomacy

instead of treason.

- How wise of you,
your eminence.

So tonight, when the moon
is high in the sky...

- Before the moon
goes any place,

I demand an unconditional
pardon for Casanova.

- Never, never, no, no, no, no.

(chattering)

- Never, never.

- Well then, I suggest

that the doge go
handle his own action.

- Alright, you win.

The real Casanova will
be pardoned immediately.

- And 2,000 scooty
for me and an MG?

- Granted.

- Okay.
- Two thousand scooty?

I'm glad you're willing to risk
your manhood for so little.

- And what do you mean by that?

- Well you see, my
boy, if you fail...

- Now look what you did.

How do you expect me to perform
if you scare it to death?

- Vincenzo, why don't
you talk to it, hmm?

- Oh, perhaps if we
offered you more money?

- Money, no amount of money's
gonna straighten it out.

- Perhaps I have
an idea, Vincenzo.

- Jessamina, you walk
in there like that

and you can forget about
coming home tonight.

- Don't be so upset.

Don't you know I'm sacrificing
myself for my country?

They should build me a
monument, to Jessamina,

the heroic Venetian who
had to bend in the end.

(light dramatic music)

- The moon has risen.

- That's the only
thing that's risen.

Please, put me in jail

but don't send me in
there with that infidel.

- Stop, he's innocent.

He's not Casanova.

- [Fulcenzo] Quiet, you fool!

- What are you muttering about?

Of course he is.

- The child doesn't know
what she's talking about.

- My darling.

How terrible for them to
torture you like this.

- Yes.

- With all those nude women.
- Yes.

- Tell them, tell them
you're not Casanova.

- I'll arrest her.
- You won't arrest anybody.

I'll get you your
royal contract.

- Your excellency, the one
and only Jacomo Casanova.

- Shut up, you idiot.

- The time has come for this man

to come to the aid
of his country.

I've taken advantage of
your virility long enough.

Calipha wants Casanova,

(chuckling)

and Casanova she shall get.

(light dramatic music)

- What a swell guy,
no wonder he's a star.

- Why doesn't she
want to see me?

- You tell him.
- You tell him.

- You tell him.
- You tell him.

- I'll tell him.

I don't know.

- You don't know?

Ooh, ooh, in the name of Allah,

who am I going to play
my backgammon with?

- Backgammon?
- Yes.

- Uh, I'll play backgammon
with you, come here.

- Well, what's the
matter, darling?

- Um, I don't like
the left side.

I much prefer the right side.

- Well, does it make
that much difference?

- Well, now that you
mention it, it does, yes.

- Well, I'm not used to
the left side, either.

- Well, you must remember,
my dear, I am your guest.

- Better now?

- Much.

- Ah!
(mumbling)

- You are going to--
- You're absolutely right.

(grunting)

(whistling)

(mumbling)

Oh, really?

- Now what?

- Um, that perfume
you're wearing?

- It's rose oil.

- I hate it, nothing personal.

Maybe it's popular in
Shiraz but here in Venice,

why, it's a little too strong.

We usually mix it with--
- Oh, shut up!

- Ah!
(groaning)

- [Caliph] It's not fair,
you won all my jewelry.

Now all I have left to gamble
is my kingdom of Shiraz.

- It was magnificent, glorious,
my beautiful Francesca.

- Francesca?

Francesca?

- [Jacomina] You've got a bet.

And throw with your
elephant convertible.

- Stop, Akhmed, I
order you not to sign.

- Oh!
(mumbling)

- You're a little
late, your caliphness.

The oil contract is mine.

(mumbling)

- Correction, it belongs
to the republic of Venice.

- Oh yeah?
- That is,

if you value your freedom.

- The deed is done, aruvaderci.

(chuckling)

- And what about
my pal, Casanova?

Well, I got you the oil
contract, what do you say, okay?

- Alright.
- Great.

- I'll give him his freedom.
- Great.

- What I'd like is that when
you write your memoirs, you'd--

- No one will ever know

unless they see the movie.

(upbeat lighthearted music)

- [Narrator] And that
is where Jacomino

finally ceased to muscle
in on Casanova's act.

By the way, if you're
ever in the neighborhood,

why not look him up?

His address is Caliph
Jacomino Akhmed Mustafa,

The Imperial Palace, Shiraz.

- Vincenzio, try these out in
Vegas when you get a chance.

(light upbeat music)

(upbeat comical music)