All language subtitles for Whos.Your.Caddy.2007.ny

(chattering)

- (golf stroke thwacks)
- (Mozart playing)

(man yells)

(hip hop blaring on radio)
# I came from the bottom #

# I made it to the top #

# And I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

# Coming to your town
to invade your block #

# Yo, we live from the hood,
taking over your spot #

# I came from the bottom,
I made it to the top #

# I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

(whistle blows)

(hip-hop resumes)

# I'm gonna drop #

# Whatever I drop is hot #

# It's gonna rock #

(indecipherable rapping)

# Got so much money,
now I can't be stopped #

# Follow me
while I take you on an odyssey #

# I'm gettin' dollars, see,
can't nothin' bother me #

# Green grass, yeah,
blowin' on the hood #

# Million-dollar caddy
call me Tiger Woods #

(Mozart resumes)

(blaring)
#... from the bottom, I made it to the top #

# I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

# Coming to the your town
to invade your block #

# We live from the hood,
takin' over your spot #

# I came from the bottom,
I made it to the top #

# I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

# Coming to your town
to invade your block #

# We ride from the hood,
takin� over your spot #

# Yo, drop #

MAN: Nice ride

- What�s up, my guy?
- Whoa, C-Note, lm a huge fan

- Is that right? Okay
- Yeah

What�s up, G?
Hey, who on tour this week?

Gnarls Barkley

Can you hook my boy up
with some backstage passes?

I think he tryin to get
his pimp thing together

Hey, thanks a lot

All right? Peace, buddy

- Hey
- How you doing?

You still breast feed?

Well, it ain't the Southside

- No
- Sure ain�t

You got to be kidding

Is this the caliber of person
we want in the club?

HARRINGTON:
With all due respect, Mr Cummings,

he was the President of
United States

An unfortunate accident

- (laughing)
- And besides, I cant stand the wife

Denied Next?

Oh, hmm, dykes on spikes

I�m led to believe he does have
a very successful talk show

Denied Next?

What�s happening, players?

- DREAD: What�s the burning in here?
- What y'all smokin on?

- Blip (whispers) pow
- All right

I call you back

And how you doin?

May I help you?

Yes, I want to get an application
for membership

You don't just apply
for membership here

You have to be invited

Your eyes blue?

Ooh, I bet they be tryin to kiss you
in the mouth

(gags)

(growls)
Denied

Mr Cummings, we have a problem

Theres no problem

- Uh
- C-NOTE: Hell, no

That ain�t the Rev

I didn�t know Al Sharpton was a member
What�s happening?

We in the right place?

How may we help you?

(British accent) lm in desperate search
of an application, sir

Uh, well
take them to the Caddy Master

We always have a spot in the yard

for an enterprising young man
who can carry a bag

- What?
- What?

Did he call you a nigger?

- Uh...
- You want me to carry a bag?

If you�d prefer,
you could work in the stables

- Horses?!
- How are you with a shovel?

- Shovel?!
- He just said,

Nigger, shovel that horse shit

- Meto shovel horse shit?
- Its honest work

G, could you please school
this nine-ball on who hes talking to?

Yes, I will
Gentlemen, step back!

Shout it

You are in the presence
of a multi-platinum greatness

Preach that shit!

The impresario of hip-hop

- Bam!
- The godfather of modern rap

- Bam!
- The artist formerly known as

- (sings high note)
- Bam!

- Tell it, girl
- Christopher C Hawkins,

the one, the only, C-Note

Southside

Southside!

Lm sorry, Mr Note

l... I don't watch much MTV

As you can see,

were in the middle
of reviewing candidates

for membership, so

Well, we just in time
Sign me up

CUMMINGS: Lm afraid it doesn't work
that way

You see, we have
a very stringent application process

Stringent

Can I get a stringent on the rocks?

Okay, G, could you please show him
some love for me one time

(C-Note sings a note)

- How's a million?
- Memberships only 500,000

Keep the rest as a gratuity,

you know, for letting us
circumvent your stringent process

You feel me?

No, I don't feel you

This is a very exclusive club

We have a five-year waiting list

(snobbish affect)
A five-year waiting list

of over 600 very qualified candidates

Very qualified

We only have 180 members

I can assure you, Mr Note,

there is not a chance in hell
that you will be number 181

You feel me?

That�s cold, my brother

lm not your brother

That�s some astringent shit

Please show Mr Note and his friends
to the exit

Yo, yo, yoyo, yo
Hey, this some bullshit

Were gonna talk
to Johnny Cochran about this

Hes dead

Oh, wait a minute
You killed Johnny Cochran?

You moron

Hes dead?

Lets ride

- Lets go
- This is astringent

- All this is astringent
- DREAD: Yeah, we comin back

We comin back
with more black people

Well be talkin to you soon

BIG LARGE: Step outside,
well be astringent

DREAD: Come on here, girl
Thank you

(man rapping reggaeton)

Great party house

on one of the best streets
in Carolina Pines

Location, location, location, right?

Oh, it has a six-car garage,
plenty of parking for all your guests,

and more square footage
than you�ll know what to do with

Oh, Tom Cruise lives
two doors down

His lot size is much smaller

Now, cant you just hear the blender
whipping up a batch of Margaritas

while you�re kicking back,
catching some rays with your bitches

- Your what?
- Bitches

Watch your mouth, buddy

Oh, bitches, pretty girls, I get it
lm down with that

I could just smell those lines being cut
Mmm

Are you pickin up
what lm puttin down?

You feel me, don�t ya?
Yeah

All right, lets move on

If I haven�t sold you already,
give me one more chance

because this is
the pi�ce de r�sistance

You have the entire
Carolina Pines Golf and Country Club

right here in your back yard

Oh, and that...

that right there is the 17th hole,

made famous
when Jack Nicklaus called it the

Best hole in all of golf

Yes, you�re a fan

Everybody knows Jacks the man

Yeah, but all about Tiger

- Hes so cute
- Hey, G, how we looking?

That was my contact
at the County Registrars office

Everything checks out
We good

All right
Well take it, all cash offer

Tell your client I need to close
by the end of business tomorrow

- Can you do that?
- Oh, fabulous

You are really going to spice things up around
here

You bring the sugar
Fantastic

- Honey
- Hmm?

I have a lesson with the golf pro today

That�s fine, honey

Just keep your head down
and keep your eyes on the ball

What do you think
about what lm wearing?

Uh, yeah its perfect

Ugh

I think III wear this

it wont restrict my swing

Well, that�s perfect, honey

Just remember,

keep your head down
and your eyes on the ball

CUMMINGS:
So when will you make a decision?

FROSTY:
Within the next three weeks

CUMMINGS: Well, I think I speak
for everyone here at Carolina Pines

when I say
we would love to host the US Open

We did have
a successful tournament here,

the year that Jack Nicklaus
shot a 62 on the last day

Oh, yeah, he had a good round

its only two strokes
off my course record

(Mick groans)

Did I ever tell you about that?

Just last week

- Never grows old, sir
- Yeah

- (siren rings in the distance)
- Did you hear something?

Uh, I think its coming
from the 17th, over there

- (slow hip hop playing)
- Come on, girls, give it to me now

Stay close

- Sexy
- # That�s right #

- Oh
- # Burn, man #

- Shit
- # Uh-huh, now#

- # lm back #
- Oh, I love my job

# lm your fireman,
fire, fa, fireman #

# I got that fire, lm hollering #

# I got that fire, come and try me #

# You can spark it up,
and lm-a put you out #

# Ain�t nobody fucking
with me man #

# Heatman, Ski Mask,
spending next weeks cash, he fast #

- # And I don�t even need a G pass #
- Shake what your mamma gave ya, yeah

# lm passing em out now#

# And you cant have that #

# And my chain Toucan Sam that #

# Tropical colors you cant match that #

# Gotta be abstract #

- Oh, how y�all...
- # You catch my gal legs open #

- # Betta smash that #
- Cut!

(needle pulls off record)

What the hell are you doing
in my golf course?

Shootin a music video
What it look like?

It looks to me like trespassing

It does look like trespassing

And you�re the one
that�s doin the trespassing

Now, get your monkey ass
off my property

Your property?

You see that line?

It represents
the property line of that estate

Now, 99 years ago your club
leased the land from the owner of record

That 99-year lease expired yesterday,
and was not renewed

One acre belonging to Carolina Pines

reverted back to the owner
of that property

Guess who closed escrow yesterday?

Whoo!

How much do you want?

Oh, it ain�t about the money

I don't wanna beat you up
on the land at all

All I want is a membership,
and I sign everything over to you

III never get that past the board

All right, girls,
were going commando style

Everybody take off your tops

Whoa, whoa, whoa...
All right, III try

III do what l...
You got a deal

Okay
Don�t play with me, though

III keep you up
way past your bedtime deal?

All right, everybody back to one
Here we go, girls

And action!

- # Yeah, yeah #
- Uh, lm sorry, Frosty

Just a slight misunderstanding

Is he a member?

(laughs)
No I assure you, no

III be back in three weeks
to make my final decision

Well make this our little secret,

but if I find out that this
is how you run your club, Cummings,

the only thing you�ll be hosting
is a Bud Light commercial

I like those Bud Light commercials...
funny and creat...

I�m all over it, sir

Can I go back and watch
for a little bit?

No

Everyone

Id like to introduce you
to Miss Shannon Williams

Hello Nice to meet you all

l've hired Miss Williams
to handle the C-Note situation

She comes highly recommended

Graduated top of her class
from Harvard,

law degree from Columbia

Miss Williams

Gentlemen,
lm not going to waste your time

He owns the property legally
and outright,

and you have
no legal recourse to get it back

Now, the way I see it
is you have two choices...

Take his offer or buy him out

- Harrington?
- Well, yes, its a complex scenario...

- Well buy him out
- Well buy him out

As you legal counsel,
I would advise against it

If I were you, Id take his offer

- Not an option
- Not an option, no

May I ask why?

Hes a... hes a rapper

Not quite our class, dear

This is not a strip club
its a golf and polo club

its gentleman�s club

Well, its gonna cost you

Throw some money at him,
Miss Williams,

and make him go away

C-NOTE: That�s right

So what I need you to do
is call your boys,

crunch the numbers and y�all
gotta make this thing work for me

I don�t think its working
on the bill, you now

You either want to be
part of the team or you don�t

Toodles Jackass

Sorry to interrupt you, C,
but we have here a Ms Williams,

and she�s a

lawyer?

Can I interest you
in something to drink?

No, thank you
This is a business call

- Water?
- No

- Kool Aid?
- No

- Juice?
- No, thank you, Mr Hawkins

All right, cool
Have a seat

Okay

We gotta give you a hand

- Smart play
- How's that?

Sending a beautiful, voluptuous,
honey-caramel-complexioned sister here

to do battle with the big bad brother
from the streets

Mr Hawkins,
you�re hardly from the streets

You went to Dartmouth

You graduated
with a bachelor degree in business,

a minor in English lit

- Hmm
- You played lacrosse for the Big Green

Rightwing, wasn�t it?

So this gangsta rap thing cover up
that you got going

wont get any play with me

Well, either you know
how to Google real good,

or somebody done did their homework

Well, I like to know
who lm dealing with

So were dealing now

Yes, lm authorized
to settle this dispute

All I want is the membership

I don�t know nothing
about no dispute

My client was under duress
and made a rash verbal commitment

Hed like to honor his word but alter it

Oh, this ain�t about the money

I know
its about sticking it to the man

So what�s the number?

There is no number

Come on
Everybody has a price

Girl, you done brought me a gift?

Yes, we did

Three million dollars?

That�s grocery money, baby

Now, the property alone is worth
five million in a soft market

You do the math
You tryin to play me?

Lm not trying to play you

I just want to settle this
So what will it take?

I want a membership,

and I wanna
stick it to the man

And the deal is done

# You know it could happen,
it don't happen#

# Till it happen, when it happen#

- # You gonna wish it never did #
- # Hey! #

BIG LARGE:
That�s the 458, man

You got the 458
where the 622 should be

its stupid its stupid!

MISS WILLIAMS:
Are you sure you wont reconsider?

Well, I don�t know

You might have to tell your boss man,
sir, that I ain�t gonna change my mind

C-100!
Lookin good

Bam, check it out

What�s up?

Plasma screen televisions,
X-Box 360,

30-gig mega... rrrrr
with a rrrr hard drive

so you can download the
(makes noise) MP3

(laughs)

Navigation system
so you can ghost-ride the whip

- # Ghost-ride the whip #
- # Ghost-ride the whip #

- # Ghost-ride the whip #
- # (together) ghost-ride the whip #

# Ghost-ride the whip #

C-NOTE: # Now, freeze #

Let it go
Bam!

- Bill me, baby
- What you know about that?

- What�s happenin?
- # You know it could happen #

- Yeah!
- # It don't happen#

# Till it happen when it happen,
you gonna wish it never did #

# You know it could happen#

# It don't happen
till it happen when it happen#

# You gonna wish it never did #

So how much it cost me?

Nothing Hes not interested
in your money

This is not acceptable,
Miss Williams

I need you to kid-glove this guy,
you know, speak his language,

you know, wine and dine him

Mr Cummings, I am a lawyer,
not a street hooker

I didn�t mean to insult you,
Miss Williams

lm just up against it

Exactly what are you up against?

His lifestyle has jeopardized
our chances of hosting the US Open

The USGAs going to be here
in three weeks to make their decision,

and I need this guy gone

I will not let a low-life street thug ruin everything
l�ve worked so hard for

So give him a membership

Have you not been listening
to what l�ve been saying?

According to your bylaws,

all new members are on probation
for the first four weeks

Ah
I like where you�re heads at

If he even breaks one rule,
the slightest infraction,

Yeah, he wont last one day

And then you�ll have grounds
for dismemberment

Dismemberment
Oh l like the sound of that

I thought you would

Have a good day

(helicopter whirring)

Whoa, Killah Ink

Hey, Mr C
What�s happening, baby?

I have to hand it to you,
Mr Hawkins

- That was a heck of an entrance
- Who got next?

Show me the money
Show me the channel, baby

Show me that cheese
Get in where you fit in

Money talkin, bullshitwalkin

We doin it just like the strip clubs
You got to pay to play, baby

How you feelin, kid?
You ready to sink this thing or what?

- Nothing but net
- Call the shot, Caddy Mack

Okay, boys, listen up
Here�s the shot

Off the ice machine, into the pole,

off the fire extinguisher,
into the ball washer,

bounce, bounce, bounce,
into the vending machine,

into the bucket

Easy like Sunday morning, baby

Now, you good, Mick-o,
but you ain�t that good

You guys, step back for me, huh?

Hey, what kind of odds
are y�all layin down

- What�s up? What you doin, hustler?
- What�s up, baby?

- Hey, ol timer How ya doin, bro?
- Hey

- Good to see you, man
- Whoo, how's your mom?

- Doin good, man
- Well, you give her my best

- Will do, will do
- Yo, yo, my man

Why don�t you did deep
in your pockets

and get into this game?

Boy, you still out here
hustling them greens?

Is water still wet?

Does a bear shit in the woods
and wipe his ass with a white rabbit?

You�re damn right
lm still reading them, baby

Well, III tell you what
Ten to one

my man right here
slams it home, baby

If you wanna rake some easy cash,
Id take that bet

lm gonna make it
even sweeter for you

I want a stack

That�s a stizzle on my nizzle
for the whizzle

That�s the win if you know that one

Make it light on yourself, baby

Come on, baby
Come on, come on, baby

- MAN: Yeah!
- (men hollering)

- Bam!
- Money!

That boy got game

Tiger who?
Tiger mother-lovin who

Yes

(hip hop blaring on radio)
# Throws some Ds on that #

# Just bought a Cadillac #

# Rich Boy sellin' it #

# All them haters wanna jack #

# Tight, no stick,
just bought a Cadillac #

# Throw some Ds on that #

# Just bought a Cadillac #

# Throw some Ds on that b... #

Throw some Ds on that ho!

Sweet ride

Wilson, shut up

- Sorry
- Man, you look like the Easter Bunny

Mr C, Mr C, I didn�t know
they made them pants for men

I thought they was women�s britches

Look like a red-headed bitch
with a blue sweater on

Quiet on the tee

(Big Large meowing)

(laughing)

- (C-Note makes cat growl)
- (Dread barks)

C-NOTE: I love it

Now its time to play some golf

MAN: # You know,
cash boys, the music man#

# Yeah, let me tell you
why I'm undefeated #

# I'm the best at this game #

# lost one as soon as you
stepped in this lane #

# Told y'all, showed y'all
I was the one #

# Spittin' flames,
shinin' bright as the sun#

# So I rock my ice just to cool y'all #

# Do you know how much money
this jewelry costs? #

# Hold onto that thought,
I'm B-A-D #

# Starvin' MCs I E-A-T#

# Now, y'all couldn't beat us,
even if you cheat us #

# On the golf course
in my Adidas #

# I'm far side,
it's all right #

# On the green, gettin' high
as I shoot the par-fives #

# Stop cry in',
what's all the fuss about? #

# Like MTV, I'll burn this house #

# Might get mad, flip,
freakin' cuss you out #

# Like you a bad mutha,
shut your mouth #

# I won this game like a champion#

# 'Cause I'm always doin'
what can't be done #

# Another hole-in-one
when I hit the tee #

# On a winnin' spree,
call it a victory #

# I won this game like a champion#

# And I'm always doin'
what can't be done #

# Another hole-in-one
when I hit the tee #

# On a winnin� spree,
call it a victory #

WOMAN:
# He don't talk the name about it... #

Oh, Mulligan!

Can I give you a piece of advice?

Take it back low and slow

And then when you come through
and hit the ball,

just don�t try to kill it

I gotcha

Whoo! Yeah

Nice call

- Who�s your caddy?
- You

Ride up front with your boy
Lets go, y�all

# I won this game like a champion #

# Another hole-in-one
when I hit the tee #

# On a winnin spree,
call it a victory #

Uh, give me my 60-degree wedge

Check this out

Is that a Nos system?

You better believe it
Want me to give it some juice?

- Yeah
- Hey, yo, B, hold on

- What?
- I�m-a count you down

Three, two, one

(all screaming)

Southside

Slow down!

Brake!

Incoming!

Oh

Ohh!

C-NOTE: Damn

Hey, boy

(bones creak)

Whoo!

Fore!

You stupid

(groans)

- Here, come on
- How would you say, 50 feet?

(groans weakly)

C-NOTE: (slaps back)
Hey, Mr C,

what�d you shoot today, baby?

(weakly)
Uh, I only got one hole in

So that means you shot a low score
(chuckles)

Hello

That looks scrumptious-ssss

Well, its She Crab Soup

its our signature dish
You really should try some, sir

I will

(sniffs)

(Mrs Cummings gasps, moans)

(sniffs)

- Mm-hmm
- (groans)

Mm-hmm

Hey my-guy,
what�s your name, buddy?

Wilson, sir

Nah, don�t call me sir
The names Christopher

Sorry, sir... I mean, Christopher, sir...
I mean... I like you

All right, Dice Clay Jr, sir

(slaps hard)
Holler at your boy, Mr C!

(whispers)
Holler at ya, Miss

(humming)

# Freedom gonna come some day #

# Freedom, oh, oh #

(humming)

(stops humming)

(hums)

You see something you like?

(chuckles)

You better keep looking
at the man in the mirror

bro

I know I got a bangin body
I got it goin on

# You must like what you see #

# You must like what you see #

# Cause you see a brother like me #

# Huh, huh, huh,
and lm-a break it down #

# lm-a break it down #

# And when I wanna stop #
(farts)

(farts)
# Back to the beat #

# Bam, bam, bam #

Look, I know it looks big,
but its only three inches

from the back wall

How's your mamma and them?

(Lady G gasps)
Oh, oh, oh

This is a nice-ass pad

What�s happenin, baby

Yeah, if you like turned-up collars
with polo ponies and pink-striped pants

- Which we don�t
- Which we don�t

Now, what�s this, though?
Trophies, anyone?

Okay, not only do they have trophies,
they got a pimp cup

Look at this, the Inglewood pimp cup

- Hmm
- Look, they put your balls in a glass

Yeah
I don�t see no pictures of my boy Tiger

(Southern accent)
Nah, no negras hear

C-NOTE: We got goin?

Nah, hold up
That�s a brother right there, isn�t it?

DREAD: No, that�s just a caddy

WILSON: Hey, what up, Christopher?

I hear you�re getting
your jacket tonight, man

- That�s tight
- What�s up, baby boy?

- Whatch a doin?
- (chuckles)

Your dads got
a lot of hardware around here

Looks like
he the club champion up in here

Yeah He cheats

What�s this right here?

Carolina Classic?

Its the biggest polo tournament
in the country

- You play?
- I suck

- Can anybody play?
- If you got the bankroll, yeah

Hey, gang, I think its time
we bought ourselves a polo team

- G, you got me?
- I got you

Call Ralph
Party, people!

- Yeah
- Horse?

- Horses
- I�m not riding on a horse

(clinking glass)

Ladies and gentlemen,

as you know, the jacket ceremony
for new inductees here at Carolina Pines

is a sacred tradition

(mocks)

CUMMINGS:
So lets get to it

Pray all assembled,
please raise your glasses

And join me in welcoming
our first inductee...

Mr Carson Courtemarche

- Oh, hell no, hell no
- Whatever

DREAD:
You got a big-ass head, brother

(chuckles)
Look at that big-ass head

- BIG LARGE: Boo, boo, boo
- DREAD: You got a shiny forehead

Chump Nice haircut

Uh l have no words to describe
our next inductee

Ain�t no words!

- Damn right
- Ain�t no words

So lets welcome
Mr Christopher Hawkins

- LADY G: Yo, C!
- ENTOURAGE: C! C! C! C!

- LADY G: Yeah, walk it off!
- C! C!

- Its about time
- C! C! C! C!

- Walk it off!
- Bam!

Bam! Bam! Bam!

- Killah Ink!
- Bam! Whoo-hoo!

You�re doin it
You�re lookin good

You�re lookin good

Uh, unfortunately,
I have a little bit of bad news

Uh-oh, somebody pregnant

Mr Hawkins, your membership
has been officially revoked

- LADY G & BIG LARGE: What?!
- Revoked?

- Did he say nigger?
- This don�t make no sense

C-NOTE:
Hold on one second Back up, stiff

Hold on, khaki-man
Hold on, hold on one minute

What do you mean, revoked?

Enlighten him, Miss Williams

Who is Miss Wilson?

Mr Hawkins, you have violated
several of the clubs bylaws

If you please turn your attention
to the plasma screen

- Court TV
- (together): Here we go

WILLIAMS: Violation number one,
rule 729-36

No personal or commercial aircrafts
may land on the course

except in case of emergency

Hold on, Ronald Reagan Jr

If you see the plasma, you see
the chopper didn�t even touch the grass

LADY G:
Didn�t even touch the ground, lady

Oh, yeah, oh yeah
I didn�t even see that

Can you say hovering?

Its a technicality

We are getting technical, aren't we?

Violation number two,
section E, rule 12...

What did he do now,
proper light skin?

Thirty-six, dash 12

No firearms are permitted
on the premises

No, hold up, hold up

- I�m will whoop her ass
- Excuse me, dog

This is signed by the mayor

The permit to carry my weapon
wherever and whenever I would like to

- Forgery
- DREAD: Forg...!

The potato salad was a forgery

- No, Mr Mayor
- My signature

- Anything else?
- But... what about that... that monstrosity?

- That�s Big Large
- He almost killed me

Is that against the rules, too?

You are a disgrace to every member
who�s come before you

You�re not fit to wear
the Carolina Pines crest

MAN: What does this mean?

- Daddy?
- What?

Oh, shoot

Sweet Jesus

Excuse me, honey
Excuse me

What does this mean?

# What does it mean? #

Hes not fit to wear
the Carolina Pines crest?

- Preach on it!
- Go on, Reverend!

Does this mean hes not the right size?

In the words of Whitney Houston,
Hell to the no!

Or is it about something else,
something more sinister?

- Holler!
- Cause this is surely not about

guns and golf carts

- MAN: Tell it!
- This is not about rules and infractions

No, no, no
This here is about black and white

- Free Mandela!
- That�s what lm talkin about!

This is about rich and poor

DREAD: Theres a lot of rich,
not enough poor in here

Why cant a soul brother

- walk these fairways, huh?
- Amen!

Why cant a soul brother
be Capn Crunch?

WOMAN: # I wanna know#

Capn...

(laughing)
Capn Crunch

Captain Crunch?

He in the zone
Preach, little preach!

If you strip this brother of his jacket,

you will strip yourselves
of your very souls

Hallelujah!

Halle-shunna-hiya-hiya,
hoola-nah-nah shunna

(continues speaking in tongues)

Now I ask you

are you going to take away
this beautiful brothers dream?

- Mm-mmm
- Hmm?

MAN: # What did the man say? #

I think not because if you do,
I will sue the living...

- Shit!
- Out of you

Can I get a amen?

Amen!

- Amen
- LADY G: Hallelujah!

- Holler if you hear me
- (yells)

Peace out!

# Come on#

# Fire's gonna leave it low now#

- Here we go!
- Yes!

Who the hell was that?

Yeah, I told you
we was gonna get in, baby, all day

Hey, C-Note,
I just wanna say, man,

I was really impressed
with how you handled my father

l�ve never seen anyone
diss him like that

Well, lm gonna tell you something
Ain�t nobody scared of your daddy

You know what lm talkin about?

All right, what he do?
What he do?

What up? What up?

What�s happening?

The boys wanna take the chopper
into the city and party You in?

Y�all go ahead and do that
III catch up with y�all in a minute

Ain�t she
a little Abercrombie and Bitch for you?

Girl, you crazy Y�all have fun

- Crazy
- All right

My girlfriend Rashida
gets off the pole in 15

Shout me a holler, C!

So check this out

You wanna come to the city
and party with us?

I don�t know I mean,
are they gonna have shotguns there?

Front seat

All right

Mmm

Ahh

- # She's so cinematic #
- (sniffs) Mmm

# She's so cinematic #

# She's turned me to an addict #

# Got me addicted to her #

# To her, to her, to her, to her #

- # To her, to her, to her #
- Ooh

# Ooh, yeah shawty so cinematic #

# I spit a little game
just to get the rabbit #

# It's me on the microphone,
I've been an addict #

# Yo, pimp yo' rabbit,
I could pimp your static #

Yo, how you been doin?

MAN: Welcome to the club

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Where you goin?

Hey its a nice jacket

You earned it

You know I don�t back down
for nothing

I don�t expect you to

Why don't we stop this

me versus you and

together take a little break and...

Take a break?

Get to know one another,
be friends or something

You know, hang?

- Hang
- Rent a movie

I got T-shirts, footies

Id rather scratch

We got some hood in us after all
Let me find out

Good-night, Mr Hawkins

Id rather say good-morning

Good-night

# She�s so cinematic #

# She�s so cinematic #

# She's turned me to an addict #

# Got me addicted to her #

# To her, to her, to her #

# To her, to her, to her, to her #

I like country clubs

C-NOTE: Mick-a-leek-o

Looks like I ain�t the only one
out here breaking the rules

Yeah, well, this is the only time
I get a chance to practice

What are you practicing for?

I just love the game

If you have that much love for the game, you�ll have
to get a new bag of sticks

They work for me

Oh, they sure do

C-NOTE:
Holler at your boy, man

Yup

MAN: # We ain't done, son#

# Uh-huh #

# Ha ha #

# Don't make that booty clap #

# Don't make that booty clap #

WOMAN:
# We gonna make that booty clap #

# Gonna make that booty clap #

MAN:
# Girl, don't make that booty clap #

# Don't make that booty clap #

WOMAN:
# We gonna make that booty clap #

# Gonna make that booty clap #

MAN:
# You ain't gonna do it #

# You ain't gonna do it #

# You ain't gonna... #

(man rapping)

You like her, don�t you?

If my father knew I was here,
hed shit a golf ball

You wanna slap that ass?

Think I do

You have to know you do

You wanna... you wanna slap that ass?

I do

Whose ass is it?

Hers?

No

its your ass

its mine?

Okay, you better get your...

Its Tank, baby, in the flesh

Long time, no see

- Tank?
- Yeah

I thought you got life

Oh, no, baby
lm out, lm out

Oh

Think I could slap it?

I mean, not like a tiger,
but like a teddy bear

Tigers play too rough

So slap it like a nice teddy bear

You been lifting weights?

Oh, Id rather be lifting you, girl

Oh, I know
Well, you know I cut out the protein

- I�m eating a lot of sugar
- Oh, yeah

its time to get
some of this chocolate going

Uh-huh Oh, you want that chocolate?

Uh-huh, carve it up?

Yeah, melted, uh-huh
Ooh, girl

Lets pick up where we left off,

but there ain�t gonna be
no police this time, all right?

Okay You know, Tank

All right I lifted that restraining order

its all... its all good
Wont be no cops

Come on Whoo!

- I�m gonna do it
- You feel it?

Lm gonna do it I feel it

- Do it Slap it
- Do it

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
There you go!

Pop it one time

Yeah!

Don�t tease me, baby
l�ve got a long fuse, girl

- III work it, III work it
- Come on, come on

Bring it on

Back it up, back it up

- Oh! Oh!
- (Tank makes beeping noise)

I think lm pregnant!
I think lm pregnant!

You�re not popping it enough

There you go
That�s it Whoa!

(shouts)

# We ain't done, son#

(whistles)

What do you want?

A little help

A little help?

BIG WILLIE JOHNSON:
Yeah, what do you mean, little?

Uh l mean, I have a small job

Small? What do you mean small?

Are you trying to disrespect me?

No, no, no, I meant no disrespect

Hey, check this out, big man

Come on, now
Does this look small to you, huh?

Lm sorry
My bad

Uh, word on the street is
you the man

to see about a... a job

What are we talking about?

A hundred

- large
- Now you�re speaking my language

Who�s the mark?

Christopher Hawkins

C-Note?

I want him gone

- Gone permanently?
- Or just gone

I want him out of my life

permanently

Consider him gone

You�ll get the other half
when the job is done

Hey, ma

Don�t you Hey, mamma me

I ain�t seen you in eight days,
and you skipped church last week

l�ve been busy

Too busy to come see your mamma?

Nah, its just work, that�s all

Gangsta rap
That�s what you call work, baby?

Its just what I do
You know, you gotta roll with it, now

III roll with it when you grow up,

meet yourself a nice little girl
and settle your butt down somewhere

III have you know
I think I might�ve found me one

Oh

I hope its not one of them little
nasty video skank types again

She�s a lawyer

A lawyer, huh?

Now you�re swimming in deep water
What�s she like?

She shot me down tonight

Not impressed with your money, huh?

- Guess not
- I like her already

What�s that? Lm hungry
You got enough for me?

What do you think?
I always got enough for you

Go sit down
III make you a plate

Whoo!

My god

C-NOTE: Smell that fresh air
Such a beautiful day for golf

its goin down

You know, this is the whole

that Jack Nicklaus eagled
to win the US Open

I know
I was there

(laughs)
Lt was like 20 years ago

Yeah, my dad caddied for him

Your dad is Bobby Hawkins?

Yeah

Hes a legend around here

And I heard
that he shot the course record

Well, it was a 59 unofficially

Cummings was never going to let
a caddy take the record away from him

Is that what this is all about?

No I just love the game, my friend
Putter

Grab that flag over there for me

III show you how we do this here

What about you?

What about me?

Well, you should be playing
the game for a living

instead of toting my bag

Someday

Well, you know,
someday comes and goes

quicker than you think

You gotta chase it

Lets take it in

(classical music playing over radio)

# We came to set the party off#

# I came to set the party off#

# You came to set the party off#

# Hey, pimp, get a girl... #

# Get a pimp, get a girl #

# Get a pimp, get a girl #

# Get a pimp, get a girl #

# Let's get this party off#

Mmm, delicious

Yeah, lm glad you like it

its my special recipe

# Do you like what I'm seeing'? #

# Mix up the black
and the white Puerto Rican#

# Even some European #

# Straight out of Compton#

# Here's the crazy bother
name Ice Cube #

# From the stupid dope gang
with a attitude #

- Oh, Jesus
- # When I'm called off#

# I got a sawed off#

# Kick knowledge
and bodies are hauled off#

# You, too, boy if ya get with me #

- Wilson!
- Sup?

What�s that in your mouth?

Oh, that�s the grill, my niggard

I am not your niggard!

Whatever

- # Goin' off on every body like that #
- (microphone squeals)

Yo, yo, yo, this is Kidd Clean
comin live and direct,

representin Killah Ink

My fellas,
Lets go and get this mutha poppin

C-NOTE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, you all know what it is

I want everybody right now
who came out to the party

give it up for my boy Wilson

- What�s up, badass?
- What up?

Right now,
we got a special performance

cause you all know
I know how to pull strings

We got all the way from Atlanta, Georgia, just for
your on your birthday,

Give it up one time,
East Point represent!

# I'm about it, who about it?
I'm about it, you about it? #

# What the hell you waiting for? #

# I'm about it, who about it? #

# Need to stop the hating, boy #

# Hey, shortie, let me see
if you can do it like I do it #

# Commenced to getting to it
while you sipping on that fluid #

# Got the Chevy paint dripping
while I'm burning on that gritchet #

# Come and smoke with a pimp,
and ride with a player #

# Off to the A-T-L,
eastside that's Decatur #

# Got a couple shorties
on the low it's going digital #

Are you hot?

Lm good, not too bad

Not you, idiot!
The bomb! Is it hot?

Is it hot?

Give me a minute

# I love freaky girls,
so baby, come give it up #

# Hey, tell me
what you're waiting for #

# Hey, what the hell you waiting for? #

This is Lil Rod
lm-a go

Well, light them up,
and lets get the hell out of here

# What the hell you waiting for? #

# I'm about it, who about it?

# Who can stop the hatin', boy? #

# I keep the best, fine greenery
around the whole city #

# I'm fresh from my head to feet,
the ladies lust for me #

# 'Cause your boy
smokes pounds down#

# King of the crop, now#

# Not too long ago I had
to take it like a rebound #

# So give me
that got stacks on dizzeck #

# When I walk by,
watch the ladies break their nizzeck #

# They know I'm a baller,
young shot caller #

Bomb! Bomb!
Everybody down!

(screaming)

C-NOTE:
Hey, G, who did this?

I just got the word out
lm waiting to hear back

Just get me a name

You give me a couple days

I said I wanted him gone,
not dead

Gone is dead,
dead and gone

If you want an omelet, my brother,
you have to break a few eggs

You planted a bomb
at my kids pool party!

Its called collateral damage

Collateral damage?!
You blew up my car!

The deals off

lm not paying you one penny more,
you little prick

- Bite me!
- Oh, eat me!

Y�all are work it
Y�all are making papa grow

MRS HAWKINS:
You�re late, young man

Sorry, I got hung up, ma
Traffic

its all right, though
You lookin good

Got hung up
It ain�t how I heard it

You all right?

Lm good

What you got goin on in here,
momma?

Well, Miss Williams wants to know
more about you,

so she came to the source

Is that right?

Lm gonna whip y�all up
something to eat

Yes, maam

I gotta tell you,
I don�t understand this generation

In my day, you met somebody

You fell in love
You got married, you had babies,

none of this sleeping around
and booty calls and online sex

You kids got it all wrong

Momma, chill out
Do we gotta do this now?

Damn right, we have to do it

Look at you

You�re running
around town making millions,

shooting videos, carrying on,

but where�s the love, Christopher?

Little girl, I got your number, too

You running around town

with your big fancy law degree
and your power suits,

spending your time
in a courtroom instead of a bedroom

Your eggs aren�t getting any fresher
Sweet potato pie?

Yes, maam

This is it

Oh got pictures

Oh(laughs)

Nice look

Now, that was so long ago

Okay, so tell me,
was LL more upset with you

about stealing his clothes
or his little, thin mustache?

Well, if you really want to know the truth,

it took me about six, seven months
to get this here chin together,

but LL did help me win
the talent show with that I Need Love

Pow

lm sure you did need love,
looking like that

Don�t do me like that

l�ve got a couple fashion skeletons
in my closet, too, thanks to Madonna

That must�ve been
so devastating to a girl like you

C-NOTE: Whoo

- You�re crazy
- No, you crazy

Well

Well, you... I should be going

I guess you gotta go

Yeah, I better go

You gotta go

I gotta go

Better go

I better go

(cell phone rings)

Shannon

III be right there Okay

(snaps fingers)
You gotta go?

Yeah Um, tell your mom
I said thank you, and good-night

Um

you know,
I came here to find out about C-Note

and I met Christopher Hawkins

You�re all right with me

Damn

HARRINGTON: Well, it really is
a beautiful day here at Carolina Pines,

home of the storied Carolina Cup

We�re just minutes away
from our second match of the day,

which promises to be
a real humdinger, as they say.

MRS CUMMINGS: Hey there

Mrs Cummings

How you doing?

Are you smiling at me,
or am I smiling at you?

Now, you know there�s only one way
you�re going to win out there, right?

How's that?

Play dirty

Dirty

Well, I think you done tuned
into my channel

Fellas?

- That�s what lm talkin about
- I�m talkin about

That�s what we do

KIDD: We�ve been trying to do that
for a long time

DREAD: We do that

Is that?
Throats a little parched

Would you like a sip?

(gargles)

Sweet grapes

Ooh, Mrs Cummings

I can bite you

Can you?

(whispers)
They�re gonna kick us out of the South

HARRINGTON: This is, of course,
the 75th anniversary

of this wonderful tournament.

I'm sure every one here
is quite as excited as I am.

Good luck today, Se�or Cummings

What are you doing?

I got a better offer

You�ve been playing
for me for 15 years

Where�s the loyalty?

This is all about money
Besides that, you are a prick

Yeah, now, slow down,
slow down, man

This is serious skunk weed
lm telling you you�re making a mistake

Hmm? You�re not gonna make it
the whole game, no you�re not

You know you�re not

Hey, who does your hair?
That is some nice braid-work right there

Hey, yo, suckers,
wait up for your boy

What�s up, baby?

Come on, all right
Come on, lets get it

All right, how's everybody doing so far?

Doing fine

How you feeling?
You all right?

They�ve been playing this
since they was kids, man

This ain�t our sport

Come on, man, stop whining
Matias, you know who Kobe Bryant is?

- Si
- Okay

You�re Kobe Bryant
You�re the leader of this team

- No problem Vamos
- Do your job, Mexico

All right, you know what were gonna do

- No
- Were gonna take this to the streets

The streets?
Were playing on grass!

We smoke grass Don�t tell nobody

Think about the good grass
You the man

- You are Se�or Shaq
- C-NOTE: You the big guy

- Hes Kobe
- C-NOTE: Right

- Shaq
- You the man

Kobe, Shaq, me and Mexico

The new version

- I got it
- Can you handle it?

All right

Blondie,
what kind of panties you got on?

My bad Anyway, were gonna do
a Killah Ink on three

Y�all ready?
Lm gonna throw the first one at you

- Uno
- Two

- Three
- Killah Ink

(imaginary gun cocking)

(gun fires)

And now, taking the field,
put your happy, clappy hands together,

for our defending champions
for the last 15 years,

wearing their signature navy and gold
and led by Captain Richard Cummings,

please let's hear it
for team Carolina Pines.

And on the opposite side of the wall,
wearing a rather zesty orange and black,

in their first tournament here ever,
lets hear it for team Killah Ink

(man rapping)

All right, C-Note!

# They call me Nicky-Nicky
in the streets #

What�s up, Prime Time?

Go kick my daddy�s ass!

(indecipherable rapping)

# We should take his head off#

# We should take his head off#

# We should take his head off#

# I believe there's a... #

# We should take his head off#

# I'm taking his head off#

# I'm taking his head off#

# I'm taking his head off#

Good afternoon, ladies

You don�t stand a chance

You know,
l�ve been hearing that all my life

Well, lets play some ball

(horn blares)

(whistle)

And it's Magrini and Cummings

heading up the field together
towards the goal mouth.

They're 30 yards away, 20,

and Cummings is
in a wonderful position

and he shoots and scores!

# Whether it's rock and roll
or old soul #

- # It don't matter #
- Y�all stop clapping

- # Disco, Calypso, it don't matter #
- Stop clapping

- Welcome to my world
- # Suit and tie or tie-dye #

# It don't matter #

# Snakeskin�s or Timberlands,
it don't matter #

# Tight fade or long braid,
it don't matter #

# Red head or brunette #

# It don't matter #

# Break-dance, slam dance #

# It don't matter #

# Do the jerk until it hurts,
I'm tellin' you #

- # Ain't nothing wrong with that #
- I�m not your son, you suck

Oh, come on, please

(neighing)

No, no!

# Ain't nothing wrong with that #

- # Ain't nothing wrong with that #
- Boom, boom!

Get out there and score!

- (grunts)
- Lord have mercy

I need a horse

# Ain't nothing wrong with that #

Magrini is once again chasing the ball.
His opponents are hot in pursuit.

He reaches the goal mouth, and the goal!
The game is tied at 11 apiece,

which means we'll go to sudden death, where the next
goal wins.

(horse neighs)

That hurt my momma

Let the big dog eat, baby!

(horn blowing)

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

- DREAD: Yeah
- WILSON: Yeah

Miss Williams,
this has got to stop

I cant take this one day more

What exactly is wrong?

Look around
The members are enjoying themselves

I don�t care

its my club
I make the decisions here

I tell them when to enjoy themselves

My recommendation
is that you let this thing go

I think that Christopher Hawkins
is a great addition to your club

Now you need to find someone else
to do your legal work

You cant quit me

I just did

- WILSON: You did it!
- Told you I don�t never lose, baby

One of us has to go

How you wanna handle it?

Golf match
My team wins, you go

Your team wins, I go

That�s cool,
but when I bust your ass,

you�re gonna take
that bullshit course record off the wall

You hear me?

Ridiculous! I hold the course record
Everybody knows

Who�s this? Who�s that?

Arnold Palmer

- The caddy
- Caddy?

Yeah, the caddy
that worked here for over 40 years,

a caddy you fired

because he was a better golfer
than you could ever be

His name was Robert Hawkins

Is that what this is about?

A caddy?

That was my father

You think he shot a 59, don�t you?

Caddy Mack

I played with him
the day he posted the score

If you�re calling him a liar,
you�re calling me a liar

I saw this score card 20 years ago

It is, to be kinda forgery

its as worthless today as it was then

It doesn�t matter
whether you believe it or not,

its the truth

He was the best golfer I ever saw,

professional or amateur

We will settle this
on the golf course

lm looking forward to it

its a very simple question!
Who ordered the hit?

Lm just a businessman

l�ve got no beef with you
Believe it

You know, we can do this
the easy way or the hard way

Cause I love
that big body Benz back there,

and lm gonna ride tonight

Love makes a brother stupid

You don�t wanna see me stupid,
little man!

You got a big-ass mouth, bitch!

Ooh, is that all you got?
My baby sister hit harder than that

Hurry up, Tank!
Lm starting to get bored with this

The more time I spend hitting you,
the lest time I spend hitting that, tater tot!

Next time bring it from the shoulder,
you big pussy!

Doh... uh yeah?

The last time lm gonna ask

Oh, its... its...

No, don�t, big boy
Save your energy

cause you gonna need it

Now, if you thought he was bad,
you ain�t messed with me

lm queen bitch of this universe

Now, if you don�t tell me
what I want to know,

after I whoop your ass...

Okay, okay, okay
III tell you what you wanna know, all right?

Mick-a-leek-a

Thought I might find you here
What�s happening, boy?

Not much
I hear you got a big match tomorrow

You should be working on your game

Oh, its too late for that

its never too late

Besides, I hear Cummings got a ringer

I got a ringer of my own, though

I need this job

No, you don�t,
not when you got C-Note

Here�s your boy I got you

- All right
- Lets do it

What the hell

Giddy-up Lets get it done

- Yeah
- Ho, hey

# Now, on your mark, get set, go #

# It's time to let it show#

# Relax your mind
and let your arms go #

# Go go go go #

# And let your arms go #

# Go go go #

# Now, I've been waitin' a long time #

# I'm patient enough #

# Been gettin' my work on#

# And now it's time to let it show#

# Time, time I let it show#

# You keep on cry in� all night #

# You call for the sun#

# Your hair to the sky,
and that's the limit, oh, oh #

(car playing jingle)

C-NOTE: Hey, hey, hey
Hello, everyone

Top of the morning to you

What�s happening, Mr C?

- (slap loudly)
- Ow!

What�s goin on, baby?

Looks like everybody showed up
to watch me whoop your ass

Actually, they showed up to watch

him whoop on your ass

All right, let me in here, let me in here
Let the betting begin

Come on, who�s betting on the kid?
Lm taking ten-to-one, five-to-one

Okay, okay,
may I have your attention please?

Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you all for coming here

to this rather special contest

Let me explain
what were going to do today

Well play 18 holes of match play,
best ball

Mr Parnevik, its your tee, sir

PARNEVIK: Thank you

MAN: Attaboy, Jesper!
Hit it good!

- Eat a sandwich
- Shut up

- WOMAN: Whoa, great shot
- (audience applauding)

Sweet

So who wants to follow that one?

Is that all you got?

Lm just getting warmed up

Lets go, C-Note

Come on, breathe, breathe

Play for your freedom

- DREAD: Yeah
- AUDIENCE: Oh!

Looking good, Mick, looking good

- Whoo Whoo
- (applauding)

- MAN #1: What did I tell you?
- MAN #2: Nice shot, Mick

Oh, this guy

- (inhales)
- Chump

(Big Large farts loudly)

(farting)

(gags)

Stop

(baby farts)

My mouth was open

Damn, that�s a lot of sound
out of a quarter-inch speaker

Are you done?

Swing away

(farts)

- (farts)
- (audience laughing)

Watch out there!

- Boo
- Boo, boo

AUDIENCE: Oh

Oh

Damn, that waters deep

ALL: Oh

Oh

(applauding)

Does this smell infected?

Shoot him

Ladies and gentlemen,
at the end of the outward nine,

Mr Cummings team is four holes up

We shall take a 15-minute break
and convene back at the 10th hole

Thank you

C-NOTE: Cant we kill him?
Come on

I thought it was

You ain�t foolin, man

Yo, wait
Show me the money, baby

Man, were getting bitch-slapped

This guys got shots in his bag
I didn�t know existed

Big deal

What are you,
a couple of pussies having a pity party?

Hes great
So what?

See, that�s your problem

You�re playing him
instead of the course

It doesn�t matter how great he is

Every time you put a peg in the turf,
you�re playing Old Man Par

Now, you�ve got two choices...
you can either play big or go home

lm going to go warm up

You know

whether you win or lose,
your father would be proud of you

He didn�t give a damn
about course records

He golfed his ball
because he loved the game

And that�s what you need to do

See, this could be the last time
you set foot on this course

Make it count

Hey

Hey, hey
What�s happening?

I wanted you to know
I don't work for Cummings anymore

So sorry
I should�ve quit sooner

That�s cool
I get it

Gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Yeah

Yeah, you think you�re working
for someone that�s honest,

then you find out later they�re not

Well, the three blind mice
could�ve solved that

Want to wish you luck on your back nine

Well, you know lm gonna shake em up
its halftime

All I have is time for the bliss, baby

Bing! Bam!

(man singing)

I didn�t bring you all this way
for you to... to... to

- Choke, sir?
- Choke!

Whoo!

HARRINGTON:
Ladies and gentlemen,

after 17 holes, we are dead even

The winner of the next hole
takes the match

Mick, its your tee

Hey, our ticket right there

Come on, Mick!

Don�t piss like a puppy
Stay on the port

Let the big dogs eat, brother

MAN: You the man!

Yeah, that�s my dawg

Give it to em, baby

Yeah, that�s that money shot!
That�s that money shot!

Oh! Let me lay down on it
Bam

- I hate you
- BIG LARGE: Meow, meow

- (barks)
- Oh!

(audience laughing)

That�s the best shot he hit all day

MAN #1: Nice shot Beautiful
MAN #2: Great shot

Give me a five iron

Don�t sweat it

Like I said, you either play big,
or you go home

This is my home

Well, lets act like it

Come on, Mick-o

C-NOTE: There it is

Get close, baby

Whoo

Oh

How many points you get
when it go in the water?

(chuckling)

Oh

(applauding)

All right Whatta I got?

230 yards uphill into the wind?

I don�t have that shot in my bag,
do I?

No one does

All right, give me my driver

Come on, baby
Take your time

Let me show you how we do this

Think about the course

We play big, or we go home

(breeze whispers)

Ease up

# People take it
just a little bit higher like this #

Mick, we won!
What did I tell you?

What did I tell you?
What did I tell you?

# We can take the slow... like this #

Just like money in the bank
Yes

LADY G: Hey, Dick

- Richard Cummings
- Yes?

You�re under arrest
for conspiracy to commit murder

That�s ridiculous

Yo must have
the wrong Richard Cummings

Remember me?

This mans a liar

- Ooh
- Ooh

Ooh, that was a lot of little strength

Oh, yeah
All day long

- All day long?
- Yeah

- You can climb me like a tree
- Ooh, lets talk about it

- Lets go, come on
- Heh

Holler at your boy, Mr C

# A growin' boy need vitamin C #

# Can't wait four years
for a college degree #

# So I'm gonna try to be all I can be #

# Minus the army and Uncle Sam #

# God damn,
I'm just proud to be who I am #

# Get higher like this #

# On the days when I'm back to...,
all right #

# Take it
just a little bit higher like this #

(singing continues)

Nice round, pop

The USGA is here

Thanks for everything

Well, he deserved it

And you deserve it, too

Very nice to see you again

Where�s Cummings?

Hes actually not a member
of this club anymore

Joined another club,

but let me introduce you
to our new president,

Christopher Hawkins

its good to meet you
its Frosty, right?

Frosty, right

As you can see, we made
a couple changes here at Carolina Pines,

you know what lm sayin?

Were still exclusive

but were more open-minded

What up, family?

- Southside
- All right, let me give you a tour

Ross King:
Welcome to the final round

of the US Open...

Sergio Garcia, Tiger Woods
battling it out to take the crown

and become Open Champion
over these wind-swept fairways

right here at Carolina Pines
Golf and Polo Club,

The club itself established
in 1892

It really has stood the test of time,

and it is absolutely steeped
in rich golfing tradition.

But I've got to now welcome the man,

the President of the club here,
Christopher Hawkins.

Christopher, good to see you.

How you doing, Ross?
What's going on?

(whispers)
Hi, mom.

Christopher, this I've got to say,
this course is really in top-notch shape.

Well, I'd love to take credit,

but I've got a terrific staff
that works behind me.

Well, it certainly shows.

Now, a lot of low scores
being posted here, it has to be said,

possibility that your father�s record's
in jeopardy.

You know

its either your ass

or the remote

How did I get this?

(mocking)
I don�t know Go sit down

(slaps butt)

(man singing reggaeton)

Let me give you a lesson
about doobah-doobahs

Everybody talkin about the black man

got the biggest doobah-doobah
in the world

I don�t know

I ain�t seen
every black guys doobah-doobah

My doobah-doobah
happens to be pretty good

KIDD: Hey, Mick,
do me a favor, bro

Can you help me out with something?

MICK: Yeah, no problem

Hold this for me, please
its messing up m swing

- Hey, my...!
- Pick them up

You want some candy, little boy?

- Yeah
- Aha, rrrrr

You still breast feed?

Lm still on the bottle

Breast milk

Ain�t my fault you people speak French

Oui, Oui! You have a little wee-wee

I got a boom bam!
Boom bam, boom bam!

Boom bam, bam bam!

Bah! Bah! Bam!

Whoo-hoo!

# You must like what you see #

# You must like what you see #

# Cause you see a brother like me #

# lm gonna break it down
lm gonna break it down #

# And then lm gonna stop #

# Back to the beat #

MAN: # Oh, pretty, pretty girl
look so fine #

I almost took my own head off
After you, boy

Okay

Air ball!

You�ll get the other half
when the job is done

(thud)

BIG WILLIE JOHNSON:
What do you mean half?

# Make it feel nice #

# No more strife #

# Make you my wife #

# Baby, I would make
your dreams come true #

(indecipherable reggaeton
rapping)

Tyrone, is that you?

- My grandmother used to baby-sit you
- No, that ain�t me

TT, you peed in the bed
till you were 15 years old

I know you remember me

Goodbye, peace out!
Southside!

# To be with you #

# Yes, girl #

# Yes, girl #

# And they say,
"Oh, you're so picky-picky"#

# "Why you no it,� he said #

# I wanna sticky-sticky #

Damn, your tittys hanging out

Little bitty titty

Don�t be selfish I gotta smoke, too

I gotta make some brownies
and some muffins and...

You know what?
You�re just being greedy now

All right
No, go on in

Take it, take it
Just take the whole bag

Damn good try
Mm-hmm

III take those two Benjamin�s
whenever you�re ready

If you gotta take your pants off first,
to get into your pockets,

hey, player, I understand

Huh! Huh, huh, huh!
Huh, huh, huh!

Huh! Huh!

Uh, oh, yeah
Look at me

Yeah!

Yeah?

Boom, doo-chah-doo, doo-chah-doo
That�s how mine sounds

Doo-chah, doo-chah, doo-chah-doo
Doo-chah, doo-chah, doo-chah-doo

Doo-cha, doo...
dayoh...

doo-cha, doo-te-doo

# Tell me who'll I say
is just sittin' around #

# Tell me who'll I say
is just sittin� around #

# Tell me who'll I say
is just sittin� around #

# Jump around, jump around #

# Tell me who'll I say
is just sittin� around #

# Tell me who'll I say
is just sittin� around #

# Tell me who'll I say
is just sittin� around #

# Jump around, jump around #

(man rapping)

MAN: # One, two, three, four #

# Girl, don't make that booty clap #

# Don't make that booty clap #

WOMAN:
# We gonna make that booty clap #

# Gonna make that booty clap #

MAN:
# Girl, don't make that booty clap #

# Don't make that booty clap #

WOMAN:
# We gonna make that booty clap #

# Gonna make that booty... #

(whistle blows)

(woman rapping)

MAN: # Comin' at ya! #

# I came from the bottom,
I made it to the top #

# And I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

# Comin' to your town
to invade your block #

# We ride from the hood,
taking over your spot #

# I came from the bottom,
I made it to the top #

# I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

# Comin� to your town
to invade your block #

# We ride from the hood,
taking over your spot #

# Follow me
while I take you on an odyssey #

# I'm hittin' dollars, see,
can't nothin� bother me #

# Green grass, yeah,
blowin� on the hood #

# Million-dollar caddy,
call me Tiger Woods #

# I came from the bottom,
I made it to the top #

# I'm married to the game,
and this game don't stop #

# Comin� to your town
to invade your block #

# Yo, we ride from the hood,
takin� over your spot #

(man rapping)

(woman singing)

MAN: # She's so cinematic #

# She's so cinematic #

# She's turned me to an addict #

# Got me addicted to her #

# To her, to her, to her #

# To her, to her, to her, to her #

# She's so cinematic #

# She's so cinematic #

# She's turned me to an addict #

# Got me addicted to her #

# To her, to her, to her #

# To her, to her, to her, to her #

# We came to set the party off#

# I came to set the party off#

# You came to set the party off#

# Get a pimp, get a girl... #

# Get a pimp, get a girl #

# Get a pimp, get a girl #

# Get a pimp, get a girl #

# We came to set the party off#

# You flossin'? #

# I'm flossin'#

# You flossin'? #

# I'm flossin'#

# You flossin'? #

# I'm flossin'#

# Do you like what I'm seeing'? #

# Mix up the black
and the white Puerto Rican#

# Even some European#

# You talk about the man,
I'll beat 'im #

# You talk about the man,
I'll beat 'im #

# We do it big, we do it big,
we do it big, we do it big #

# We do it big, we do it big,
we do it big #

# We ain't done, son#