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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,671
PENNY: Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,757
I guess I'm still wondering
if Emily and I are right for each other.
3
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,844
Does this have to do with that girl
you had coffee with?
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:13,772
You mean the strong, sexy angel
I can't stop thinking about? Who can say?
5
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,310
I need to come up with a big idea
to make some money.
6
00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,696
- There's no reason you can't.
- That's easy for you to say.
7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,152
You and Sheldon already came up
with your superfluid helium model.
8
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,943
That's just research,
we're never gonna make any money from it.
9
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:29,784
Forget helium. The real superfluid
is the fruit punch in this mug.
10
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:34,376
Reminds me of my daddy's
secret don't-tell-mama juice.
11
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,132
Maybe that's an idea.
Guidance systems for drunk people.
12
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,133
They have that, it's called Uber.
13
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:46,046
Hey, in your super-cooled
helium experiments,
14
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,307
did you create quantum vortices?
15
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,593
- Yeah, why?
- Well, if you made a guidance system,
16
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,103
couldn't you use those vortices
as a gyroscope?
17
00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:55,560
Never thought about that.
18
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,976
And since it's in a quantum state,
it would maintain an infinite persistence.
19
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,986
Groundbreaking revelations,
tropical drinks, tell me
20
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:05,069
this isn't like the best episode
of Sex and the City.
21
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:15,201
Okay, I gotta ask.
Why are you wearing a bow tie?
22
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,912
Well, I've never applied
for a patent before.
23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,876
I wanted to make a good impression.
24
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,425
Is the impression
that your first name is Pee-wee?
25
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,585
(CHUCKLES)
26
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:32,013
Yeah, well, you're an engineer.
End of joke, burn.
27
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,063
Come on in, fellas.
28
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,769
See, he's not wearing a tie.
29
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,026
Well, he's a patent attorney,
maybe his tie is pending.
30
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,273
So, I've reviewed your paperwork.
31
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,407
It seems like we've got everything we need
32
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,365
to file a patent
for your infinite persistence gyroscope.
33
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,870
- That's great!
- Excellent.
34
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,076
So what happens next?
35
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,991
Well, the legal team needs to review
existing patents to avoid overlap.
36
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,660
Oh, I don't think there will be.
37
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,373
Yes, we did our own search, so...
38
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,627
That's nice, but I think ours
might be a bit more thorough.
39
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,708
(CHUCKLES) Get a load of this guy.
40
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,675
Can you imagine
if we make money with this?
41
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:12,887
Well, if we do, I am splurging
on the best sinus irrigator money can buy.
42
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,220
That old sad story, guy gets
a little money,
43
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,683
- goes straight up his nose.
- (CHUCKLES)
44
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,396
Just need you to review
and sign this document
45
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:27,110
acknowledging that you understand
the university will own 75% of the patent.
46
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,692
Seventy-five percent?
47
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:31,951
That's outrageous.
48
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,659
I mean, this is our idea
based on our research.
49
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,916
How can you possibly justify
owning a majority share?
50
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,418
It's university policy.
51
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,753
I know when I'm beat.
52
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,583
Hold on, hold on.
So the three of us do all the work
53
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,467
and only end up with 25%?
54
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:51,926
Dr. Hofstadter, this university's been
paying your salaries for over ten years.
55
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,137
Do you think we do that
out of the goodness of our hearts?
56
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,762
Well, until you just said
that mean thing, kind of.
57
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,602
And as far as Mr. Wolowitz is concerned,
58
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,609
I'm afraid as a federal employee
on loan from NASA,
59
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,645
your name can be on the patent, but...
60
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,531
You're not entitled to an ownership share.
61
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:14,741
Wait, so this can turn out to be
a financial success and I get nothing?
62
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,783
Well, sometimes they give you a plaque.
63
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:22,123
Well, that's not fair.
We should all get plaques.
64
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,790
Sorry, but we can't sign this.
65
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,379
Come on, let's go.
66
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,135
Thank you for your time.
67
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,303
A couple of questions about the plaque...
68
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,302
(THEME SONG PLAYS)
69
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,416
So, have you been having
any morning sickness?
70
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:09,049
A little, and it doesn't help that I have
this heightened sense of smell.
71
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,629
What, is that a pregnancy thing?
72
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:14,547
Yeah. The other day I sniffed out
where Howie hid the Girl Scout Cookies.
73
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,888
No more Tagalongs, my ass.
74
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,106
But now you'll be able to make
your own milk to eat the cookies with.
75
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,401
Hey, guys. Hey, Penny,
76
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,609
I really appreciate you helping me
with this. I don't know what to do.
77
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,490
- Sure, let me see it.
- See what?
78
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,696
I hadn't spoken to Emily
since I broke up with her,
79
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,702
and she left this
on my doorstep with a note.
80
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,703
"Raj, I got you this before we split up
but couldn't return it
81
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,369
"and thought you'd like to have it.
Happy belated Valentine's Day, Emily."
82
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,787
That's nice.
83
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,580
"Nice," or is she trying
to manipulate him?
84
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,045
I know. I mean, do I open it?
Do I return it?
85
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,380
Why wouldn't you open it?
86
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,295
Well, she was pretty mad,
for all I know it's a voodoo doll of me
87
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,214
with a fork stuck in my junk.
88
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,388
You don't think she'd actually send you
something gross or dangerous, do you?
89
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,726
I know one way to find out. Sniff this.
90
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,277
She's pregnant, she's not a bloodhound.
91
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,901
Although I am getting
a little machine oil, I think it's metal.
92
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,982
Come on, just open it.
93
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,694
You know, on Game of Thrones
94
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,909
Balon Greyjoy received
his son's genitals in a box.
95
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,083
Oh, never hurts to have a spare.
96
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,245
(BLOWS)
97
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,296
- BERNADETTE: What is that?
- Wow!
98
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,091
It's an antique sextant.
99
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,129
Sailors used these
to find their positions by the stars.
100
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,509
What a nice gift for an astrophysicist.
101
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,798
I know, she's so thoughtful.
102
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,512
See, she's trying to get you back.
103
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,097
Now that is exactly
what I would've gotten you
104
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,262
if I had any idea
what it is or what you do.
105
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:48,731
You know, I...
106
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,107
I have too much self-esteem
107
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,770
to let this girl guilt me
into getting back together with her.
108
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,110
You don't need to be pregnant
to smell that load of crap.
109
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,318
(SIGHS)
110
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,657
Well...
111
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,369
What if we go around the university
and just get the patent ourselves?
112
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,750
We can't. It says on their website
as long as we work there,
113
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,286
they have a controlling ownership
of anything we come up with.
114
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:14,375
Great. So they own my idea for a T-shirt
that says "Dumb as a Bag of Geologists."
115
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,306
Well, our choices are
we do this with the university
116
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,465
or we don't do it at all.
117
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,634
Either way, I get nothing.
118
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,975
Or if we end up making money from this,
119
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,391
Sheldon and I could
split our shares with you.
120
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,819
To be clear,
Leonard's referring to the gyroscope,
121
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,570
not the T-shirt and mugs.
122
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,314
Oh!
123
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,739
Now they own the mugs.
124
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,697
I guess that is a way around this.
You guys would be cool doing it like that?
125
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,991
Of course,
we would split any profits three ways.
126
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,410
- I'm fine with that.
- Okay, great.
127
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,338
It sounds like a contract
might be in order.
128
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,339
Sure, we could write something up.
129
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,378
But which one of us
should be the party who...
130
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,546
You can do it, Sheldon.
131
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,885
So stipulated!
132
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,142
Once I found a stash of contracts
under his bed, it was weird.
133
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,853
I wonder how much she spent on this.
134
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,362
Ooh! Let's find out.
135
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,699
It doesn't matter,
it's the thought that counts.
136
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:24,236
Yeah, yeah, and beauty's on the inside,
size doesn't matter. How much she spend?
137
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,663
Seriously, guys, I don't wanna know.
138
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,039
Oh, my.
139
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,039
Well, come on, you can't say,
"Oh, my" and then not tell me!
140
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,714
These things go for $500 and up.
141
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:39,084
Damn. All I got for Valentine's Day
was a postcard saying
142
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,218
my Vermont Teddy Bear was back-ordered.
143
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,138
Okay, so she drops off a $500 gift
144
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,924
and she's not trying
to get back together with you?
145
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,550
Maybe you're right.
146
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,811
Or she's telling the truth
and just being nice.
147
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,723
Maybe you're right.
Wow, I am easy to manipulate.
148
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,233
Guys, it's Emily. What should I do?
149
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,740
Okay. Answer it.
Just be strong, and if she starts to cry,
150
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,741
don't make any promises,
and most importantly,
151
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,197
put it on speaker so we can hear.
152
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,991
- Hello.
- EMILY: Hey, it's Emily.
153
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,158
Is this a good time?
154
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,580
Yeah, yeah, sure. What's up?
155
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:21,092
Was it okay I left that gift?
I'm really hoping we can be friends.
156
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,053
Maybe, maybe.
157
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,519
Um, you think you'd wanna
grab a cup of coffee?
158
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,065
Hello?
159
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:46,485
I'm sorry, I seem to be taking
an annoying amount of time
160
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,903
deciding how I feel about this!
161
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,458
I just... I miss hanging out with you.
162
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,665
It's not like I lost a friend,
it's like I lost my best friend.
163
00:08:57,162 --> 00:09:00,462
(SOBBING) Is there any chanceyou'd wanna come over?
164
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,139
I'm sorry.
I don't think that's a good idea.
165
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,393
Okay.
I'm just, I'm having a really hard time,
166
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,270
but that's not your problem, that's mine.
167
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,181
I won't bother you again,
168
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,897
but please know that you'll
always have a place in my heart.
169
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,145
(GAGGING)
170
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,280
Bye, Raj. You're a good guy.
171
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,074
Goodbye, Emily.
172
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,698
(EXHALES)
173
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,037
That was rough, you guys.
174
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,998
I know, but you did it.
I'm so proud of you.
175
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,663
(SIGHS) Well, anyway,
I'll leave you to your girls' night.
176
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,672
Are you sure you
don't wanna stay here with us?
177
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,629
No, I kind of
feel like being alone right now.
178
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,885
Well, if you change your mind,
we'll be here.
179
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,341
Thank you.
180
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,339
Say hi to Emily for us.
181
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,678
Will do.
182
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,182
Yeah, this contract looks good to me.
183
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:03,650
I'll say it looks good.
It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
184
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,361
I wanna say something obnoxious,
but it is easy on the eyes.
185
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,326
I'm a little tired, Howie,
you ready to go?
186
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,708
Yeah, one sec.
I just need to sign this contract.
187
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:17,867
What is it?
188
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,707
Well, we ran into a problem
about my share of the patent,
189
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:23,214
so we're forming a partnership
to split anything we make equally.
190
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,083
Sheldon, did you draft the contract?
191
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,593
You bet I did.
192
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,296
You're gonna make out so hard tonight.
193
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:36,428
So, you're just gonna sign this
without having a lawyer look at it?
194
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,565
Excuse me, I've been drafting contracts
since kindergarten.
195
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,396
Didn't need a lawyer to get me
out of finger painting,
196
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,606
don't need one now.
197
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,229
I know, but...
198
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,696
Bernie, the guys were nice enough to find
a way to keep me from being cut out.
199
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,324
Well, I should hope so.
The whole thing was your idea.
200
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:58,249
Well, to be fair,
Howard's idea was based on Sheldon's math.
201
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,911
Guys, everyone is involved in this, okay?
202
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,250
Howard's invention, Sheldon's math,
203
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,587
my original theory that space time
was like a super-cooled liquid,
204
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,342
which I'm sure Penny would've mentioned
205
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,549
if she wasn't working on
that hangnail right now.
206
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,923
What?
207
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,927
- Honey, this is fine.
- Okay.
208
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,973
You wanna sign a contract
that Sheldon whipped up, go ahead.
209
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,857
Can I talk to you in the hall?
210
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,776
- Sure.
- Excuse us.
211
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,313
Hey, Leonard.
212
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,571
What?
213
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,984
If she doesn't think
that we should apply for this patent,
214
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,778
she's being patently absurd.
215
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,824
Good one.
216
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,373
Okay, you got it.
See, I was afraid it was a thinker.
217
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,463
What are you doing?
218
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,375
I just wanna make sure
you've thought this through.
219
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,542
What's to think about?
220
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,803
We have an invention
and wanna move forward.
221
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:56,637
Howie, you're about to form
a legal partnership with Sheldon Cooper.
222
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,021
All right, if you're gonna
calmly make excellent points
223
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,773
then I don't know if I wanna talk to you.
224
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,645
Okay, I get it.
225
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:12,816
And it's sweet that you're worried
about me, but I can take care of myself.
226
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,906
I'm not worried about you,
I'm worried about me.
227
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,198
I don't wanna go through this pregnancy
listening to you complain about Sheldon
228
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,787
driving you crazy
more than you already do.
229
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,749
Here we go with the ironclad logic again.
230
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,962
You've tried to work with him before,
it hasn't gone well.
231
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,460
Why is this time gonna be any different?
232
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,839
Is the fetus helping you?
'Cause that's cheating.
233
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,010
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
234
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,022
- Hello.
- Hey, Raj. It's Claire, how are you?
235
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,604
Hi, I'm good. Really good.
236
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,236
Well, I don't know why I said
"really good," I'm just regular good.
237
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,113
I really just wanted to sound confident.
238
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,694
And that "really" was a real really,
239
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,733
not a fake "really"
like the first "really."
240
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,194
Really?
241
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,160
I don't know,
I lost track and I missed my exit.
242
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,662
So, uh, so what's up?
243
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:07,546
Well, last time we talked I had just
gotten back together with my boyfriend
244
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,048
and I wanted to let you know
that things didn't work out.
245
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,005
Really?
I'm sorry, I swear I know other words.
246
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,088
So if you were still interested...
247
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,053
Yes! Indeed. Absolutely. Indubitably.
248
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:22,219
I'm not even sure what the last one means,
but it's another word and I know it.
249
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,396
So, when do you wanna meet up?
250
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,354
Um, I'm almost off work,
what are you doing now?
251
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,526
Right now? Well...
252
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,862
Well, actually, to be completely honest,
253
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:36,275
I'm stopping by to see my ex-girlfriend
because she's having a tough time,
254
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,364
but it's not like
we're getting back together or anything.
255
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,120
Let me guess,
the worst part about breaking up
256
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:44,078
is that she doesn't have
her best friend to talk to anymore?
257
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,959
That's exactly what she said!
How do you know that?
258
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:50,000
I'm a girl,
that's like page one out of the playbook.
259
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,507
Any chance
you could send me a PDF of that playbook?
260
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,754
Been out there awhile.
261
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,137
Hope everything's okay.
262
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,765
I wonder what they're talking about.
263
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,971
If you guys would shut up,
I could tell you.
264
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,183
Oh, be cool, be cool, be cool.
265
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,607
- Hey.
- Hello.
266
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,767
Hey. You guys all right?
267
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:15,029
Yeah. But, um, we were talking and...
268
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:19,442
I'm a little concerned about
the three of us forming a partnership.
269
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:24,121
Are you suggesting
a limited liability corporation?
270
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,951
'Cause I did not L-L-see that coming.
271
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:36,176
Sheldon, my concern is not with the money
or anything, it's with how you treat me.
272
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,508
Well, I believe
I'm treating you generously.
273
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,640
That's why I've stipulated
in the contract that your contributions
274
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,222
to our invention
are as valuable as my own.
275
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,980
Are you saying that his contributions
aren't as valuable as yours?
276
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:53,485
No, I'm not saying that,
because I kept saying that this morning
277
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,145
and Leonard said stop saying that.
278
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,400
See, this is what happens
every time we work together.
279
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:04,241
You know, hang on. What if Sheldon
had no choice but to be respectful?
280
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,408
What? Is there a switch on the back
of his neck we don't know about?
281
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,582
No. What I'm saying is,
you could add a clause to the contract
282
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,997
that he can't make fun of Howard.
283
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,377
How would you enforce it?
284
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,793
Oh, please, any contract I sign
285
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,508
is enforced by my own personal code
of ethics.
286
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,968
- And his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
- Yeah, that, too.
287
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,427
And scoot over,
part of your shadow is on my spot. Move.
288
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,808
Howard, what do you think?
289
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,017
I'm on board.
290
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,276
Good. I'll add it right now.
291
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,313
Oh, baby, it's addendum time!
292
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,026
(LINE RINGING)
293
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,659
- EMILY: Hello?
- Hey, Emily, listen.
294
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,705
I've been thinking and I'm not sure
it's a good idea that I come over.
295
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:52,869
Oh.
296
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,830
(CRYING) Okay, I understand.
297
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,874
No, no. Please don't cry.
298
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,633
Okay, I'll stop!
299
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,840
- Hello?
- Hey, so listen, Claire, change of plans.
300
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,636
Fine, do what you want,
but she's playing you.
301
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,514
I don't think so,
she sounded pretty upset.
302
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,934
You mean like, "I was just really
looking forward to seeing you."
303
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,773
"I'm having such a rough day."
304
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,066
Emily, listen.
305
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,403
I'm sorry, but I can't come by.
306
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,661
Why not?
307
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,745
I think we both know if I come over
we're gonna get back together and...
308
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,831
I told you I needed a friend.
309
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,087
What do you think is happening here?
310
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,380
Call you right back.
311
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,093
The revisions I made start on page four.
312
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,342
That is a lot of "whereupons."
313
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,428
You should see
the Valentine's Day card he gave me.
314
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,933
"Article three.
As it pertains to this project,
315
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,568
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper
promises to abstain from all insulting
316
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,981
"or disrespectful language
directed toward Howard Wolowitz,
317
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,617
"including but not limited to
mockery of engineering, his height,
318
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:07,993
"his hair, his wardrobe
319
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:11,281
"and his insane belief
that the Ghost Rider movie
320
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,120
"was, quote, 'Not that bad."'
321
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,372
Hang on, maybe there should be
a no insult clause about me, too?
322
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,837
- Do you still like cilantro?
- Yeah.
323
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,296
You're tying my hands here.
324
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:26,837
All right, let's sign this.
325
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,257
Wait, wait, wait.
What are these changes on page six?
326
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,595
Sheldon, what did you do?
327
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,055
I should've known.
328
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,687
"Twenty-five percent of profits
due to Sheldon Cooper
329
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,472
"will be allocated to a scholarship fund
330
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,392
"for the first born child
of Howard and Bernadette Wolowitz."
331
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,571
Sheldon, that's so nice.
332
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,283
That beats the onesie
I was gonna get them from babyGap.
333
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,280
That's very generous, Sheldon.
334
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,869
Oh, I've always valued education
over money.
335
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:58,286
And the very fact that you needed
a written guarantee of respect
336
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:01,376
made me realize how dismissive
I've been of your contributions.
337
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,757
I appreciate that.
338
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:08,012
And I just hope that this scholarship
can rescue your child
339
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,925
from the subpar education
and menial life of an engineer.
340
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,018
- Sheldon.
- What? I didn't sign it yet.
341
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,528
I hear what you're saying,
but I've known Emily a long time
342
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,864
and think she deserves
the benefit of the doubt.
343
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,789
All right, it's your life,
but you know how this is gonna end.
344
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,620
As a matter of fact, I do.
345
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:39,456
I'm gonna comfort her
because I'm a caring and decent friend
346
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:43,044
who's happy to be there
when she needs someone to talk to.
347
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:44,878
Good talk.
348
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,281
English - SDH
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