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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,012
PENNY: Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:08,430
Look at all that chest hair and over bite.
Of course you're a Wolowitz.
3
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,017
Son of a bitch, he bit me!
4
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,809
I guess I'll just go
to the emergency room to be safe.
5
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,274
Howie, this is just your hypochondria.
6
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,859
When I sat on the mute button
and thought I'd gone deaf,
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,524
that was my hypochondria.
8
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:35,161
We'll find another time
to tell him I'm pregnant.
9
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,209
- Morning.
- Morning.
10
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,466
"We?" What is this?
11
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,216
I don't know.
Maybe it says something on the back.
12
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,094
"Continued on milk."
13
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,688
If you're tricking me
into making my own breakfast,
14
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,848
it didn't work for my mom
and it won't work for you.
15
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,237
"Are." "We are..."
16
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,274
"See spoons for more."
(DRY CHUCKLE)
17
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,285
What could it be? "We are Groot"?
18
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:13,241
"We are the champions"? "We are family.
I got all my sisters with me"?
19
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,162
Are you serious?
20
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,373
Yeah.
21
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,754
Are you sure?
22
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,463
Yeah. Pretty positive.
23
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,090
That's a joke,
because the pregnancy test says that...
24
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,634
Oh, my God!
25
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,641
This is incredible.
We're gonna be parents.
26
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,860
We're gonna get to board planes first!
27
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:47,532
Finally gonna get to see what's
in that "family" bathroom at the mall.
28
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,234
(GIGGLES)
29
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,075
- I know, it's crazy.
- It is crazy.
30
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,572
Oh!
31
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:57,706
I mean, how do you prepare
for something like this?
32
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,833
I'm not even sure I've held a baby before.
33
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,415
Oh, it's okay, you'll figure it out.
34
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,551
But how's this all gonna work?
Do we get a nanny?
35
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:06,926
And can we afford a nanny?
36
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,054
If we can, we can't get a pretty one
'cause it'll wreck our marriage.
37
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,180
We can't get an ugly one
'cause it'll scare the kid.
38
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,731
- I don't know, Howie.
- Are we in a good school district?
39
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:23,394
You're Catholic, I'm Jewish!
What religion do we raise it?
40
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,403
And if it's a boy,
do we get him circumcised?
41
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,941
People say it's barbaric, but if we don't
it looks like a pig in a blanket.
42
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,410
(DEEP BREATHING)
43
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,071
Calm down, it's gonna be okay.
44
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,410
How's it gonna be okay?
45
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,076
Look at me. I'm a mess.
46
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,370
And that means
this baby's gonna be half a mess
47
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,788
and that's even before we screw it up
48
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:45,173
with our cut-rate,
moderately attractive nanny.
49
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,794
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
50
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,578
Hey Raj, I read
a couple guys in your department
51
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,286
may have discovered
a new planet in our solar system?
52
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,042
Oh, I heard about that.
Why didn't you discover it?
53
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,962
Because instead of being
in the telescope room,
54
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,341
I was busy making you guys
homemade jam for the holidays.
55
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,508
Well, you be sure to let us know
56
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,887
when you win the Nobel prize
for boysenberry.
57
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:38,768
- Hey.
- Hello.
58
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,975
- Ready to play when you are.
- Yeah, in a minute.
59
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,391
I actually need
to tell you guys something.
60
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,231
If it's thank you for the homemade jam
you got in December,
61
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,487
congratulations, you're the first one.
62
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,198
What's going on?
63
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,860
(CLEARS THROAT) I'm...
(CHUCKLES)
64
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,654
Uh... Gonna be a father.
65
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,998
- What? Congratulations.
- That's amazing.
66
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,500
Oh, no!
67
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,502
Why "oh, no"?
68
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,504
Because this changes everything.
69
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,006
What about comic book night?
70
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:11,510
What about playing games together?
What about our trips to Disneyland?
71
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,012
How can we do those things
with a child around?
72
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,804
Relax, there's room for two babies
in this group.
73
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,561
Oh, dear Lord, Penny's pregnant too?
74
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,227
You're the other baby.
75
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:28,898
Oh, really? Okay. Well, would a baby
have to shave once every 11 days?
76
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,444
Would an adult refuse
to eat his graham crackers
77
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,325
because one of them was broken?
78
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,368
I guess we'll call this a draw.
79
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,869
So, I'm glad you guys are here.
80
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,625
There's something
I want to share with you.
81
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,082
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- Howie and I are going to...
82
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,712
(GASPS) Leonard says you're pregnant!
83
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:48,872
What?
84
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,378
"Don't say anything, act surprised
when she tells you."
85
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,422
All right, how you wanna do this?
86
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,931
- I'm pregnant.
- Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
87
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,341
(LAUGHS) This is so exciting!
88
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,052
Yeah, yeah, real exciting.
89
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,018
What, are you not happy about this?
90
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,478
I am. Of course I am.
91
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,688
I'm sure it's just the hormones.
92
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,941
But it's weird.
93
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,401
Howie's the one who's been talking
about having kids for years
94
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,234
and I was all excited to tell him
because I thought he'd be thrilled,
95
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,404
but then he started to flip out
and now this feels like a bad idea,
96
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,243
and I'm gonna get fat.
97
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,250
No! No, come on. Come on,
you're not gonna get fat,
98
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:29,288
you're gonna be beautiful and glowing,
and have the cutest little baby bump ever.
99
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,544
Easy for you to say, skinny bitch.
100
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,294
Sorry, hormones.
101
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,337
Oh, that's all right.
All I heard was skinny.
102
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,345
I wouldn't make too much
out of Howard not reacting
103
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,847
the way you expected him to.
104
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,099
Yeah, I'm sure
it was just the initial shock of it all.
105
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,268
You're probably right.
106
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,683
After we talked about it
he started to calm down.
107
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:53,775
I shouldn't be raising a kid.
I don't even eat my own vegetables.
108
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,861
Buddy, I think you might be overreacting.
109
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,277
And then there's this nose. I mean...
110
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,162
What if he looks like me?
111
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,579
Or worse, (GASPS)
what if she looks like me?
112
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,754
Not to mention
the impact on our social circle.
113
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,916
Everything's going to change.
Howard won't be able to come over as much.
114
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,334
Well, he could bring the baby here.
115
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,548
Then we'd have to baby-proof
the apartment.
116
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,806
Yeah, my sister has one of those
toilet locks in her bathroom.
117
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,467
I have two doctorates,
I still had to go in the sink.
118
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:30,144
Oh, my God, and do you have any idea
how expensive having a kid is?
119
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,151
Yeah, I read that in Los Angeles,
raising a child through college
120
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,903
can cost over a million dollars.
121
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,688
A million dollars?
122
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,945
It's like my nuts
just kicked me in the nuts.
123
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:45,493
That's it, I gotta start earning
more money right now.
124
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,784
I know, you could ask Bernadette
for a raise in your allowance.
125
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,248
This isn't a joke.
126
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,620
I wasn't joking.
127
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:58,635
It'll be fine, people have kids every day.
You'll figure this out.
128
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,262
Yeah, come on, this is great news
and you know it.
129
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:06,515
You're right, it is.
I'm just a little overwhelmed right now.
130
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,682
Hey, you know what we should do?
131
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,064
All get vasectomies
so this doesn't happen to us?
132
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,441
Go out and celebrate.
133
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,360
But not your worst idea.
134
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,154
Hey, let's go do something
to get your mind off this.
135
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,617
Yeah, yeah, we should go out.
136
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,828
- Where?
- Uh, I don't know, a bar?
137
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,408
Can't drink.
138
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,834
We can, but all right.
139
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,376
Are you hungry?
How about that sushi place you love?
140
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,465
Doctor said I can't have sushi.
141
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,926
Okay, look, we don't have to go anywhere.
142
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,588
We can just, you know, stay here
and hang out in the hot tub.
143
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,839
Doctor said I can't go in the hot tub.
144
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,892
Maybe you should get a new doctor.
145
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,481
What, he said you can't laugh either?
146
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,236
I'd like to propose a toast
to our friend Howard.
147
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,069
His big heart, his beautiful soul...
148
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,405
And his tight little pants
that somehow did not make him sterile.
149
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,241
ALL: Cheers!
150
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,661
Now look at this.
151
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,419
Now I bet whoever invented tiny umbrellas
doesn't have to worry about money.
152
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,671
He can have all the kids he wants.
153
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,333
And can keep a small portion
of their heads dry.
154
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:20,667
(LEONARD CHUCKLES)
155
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:25,047
If I'm gonna have any chance
of raising this kid,
156
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,841
I need to come up with a big idea
to make some money.
157
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,261
- There's no reason you can't.
- That's easy for you to say.
158
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,771
You and Sheldon already came up
with your superfluid helium model.
159
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,557
That's just research,
we're never gonna make any money from it.
160
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:39,604
Forget helium. The real superfluid
is the fruit punch in this mug.
161
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:44,149
Reminds me of my daddy's
secret don't-tell-mama juice.
162
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,325
Uh, these are strong,
you should slow down.
163
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,911
I'll just take one last sip.
164
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,034
(SLURPING)
165
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,830
(EXHALES)
166
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,679
Okay, how about this for an invention?
167
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,685
Slightly bigger cocktail umbrellas.
168
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,188
- How is that a new invention?
- I don't know,
169
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,065
all Apple does
is change the size of things
170
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,521
and we keep buying them.
171
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:24,194
It's true, I like my giant iPad
and my little iPad
172
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,653
almost as much as my regular-sized iPad.
173
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,245
This place is terrific.
174
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,326
Why have we never been here before?
175
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,742
Same reason we don't do
a lot of fun stuff. You.
176
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:41,164
That's some smart talk from a guy
who can't even keep his face in focus.
177
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,174
- Where's the bathroom?
- It's in the corner.
178
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,680
Excuse me.
179
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,885
Hey, how you doing?
180
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,265
I hope the bathroom is clearly marked.
181
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,650
Doesn't matter,
he's headed for the kitchen anyway.
182
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,488
Maybe that's an idea.
Guidance systems for drunk people.
183
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,531
They have that, it's called Uber.
184
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,369
Hey, in your super-cooled
helium experiments,
185
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,656
did you create quantum vortices?
186
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,950
- Yeah, why?
- Well, if you made a guidance system,
187
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,452
couldn't you use those vortices
as a gyroscope?
188
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,920
Wow, never thought about that.
189
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:24,458
And since it's in a quantum state,
it would maintain an infinite persistence.
190
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,298
Groundbreaking revelations,
tropical drinks, tell me
191
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,213
this isn't like the best episode
of Sex and the City.
192
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,719
You may have actually
just come up with something.
193
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,262
- You think so?
- Yeah, I really do.
194
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:40,181
You guys, the bathroom here is amazing.
195
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,146
There's people cooking in it.
196
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,406
Think about all the fun things
you get to do when you have a baby.
197
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,944
Yeah, yeah, you get to buy toys
and little clothes.
198
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,116
I kind of already do that for Howie.
199
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:56,994
And, whenever you're hungry,
200
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,627
you'll be in a minivan
with Cheerios all over the floor.
201
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,918
Oh, and I just found a new travel cup
for Sheldon.
202
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,582
It only lets out three at a time.
203
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,753
So, when did you guys decide
to get pregnant?
204
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,635
Well, we didn't exactly decide.
205
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:16,309
We were talking about it, and then
one night we got a little reckless.
206
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,889
- Oh, tell us!
- Yeah, yeah, tell us.
207
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,053
No, I'm embarrassed.
208
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,935
Come on, we're all grown-ups.
We've all done it.
209
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,107
Me! Me, too. I'm a grown-up
and I've done it!
210
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,071
Fine.
211
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:33,280
We were out one night
and things got a little spontaneous.
212
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,990
Well, that sounds juicy.
213
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:39,241
Well, Sheldon was going on and on
about time zones and railroad schedules,
214
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,202
- and I went out...
- Wait, I remember that. Hang on,
215
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,293
you did it at our place?
216
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,342
Kind of on Sheldon's bed.
217
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,127
- What?
- No!
218
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,517
I was headed to the bathroom
and I passed Howie on his way out.
219
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,554
Usually he says, "Do not go in there,"
220
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,687
but this time he said,
"Hey, let's go in here."
221
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,065
- How could you do that?
- I'm sorry,
222
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,071
but you know what it's like
when you're with your man
223
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,527
and one thing leads to another.
224
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,779
I do know what that's like, I really do.
225
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,582
I'm not seeing anyone
using liquid helium vortices like this.
226
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,208
I'm not finding anything either.
227
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,542
That's a good sign.
228
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,419
Oh, wait, I found something.
229
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,834
Damn, what is it?
230
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:31,877
This video, the baby panda sneezes
and the momma panda gets so scared.
231
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,307
Can we focus on what we're talking about?
232
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:42,346
(SIGHS) All right, look, now,
this may be the rum talking,
233
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,023
but as long as the unpinning rate
of the vortices
234
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,559
is kept within 1.1 and 1.3,
235
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,478
the Magnus force issue
should be negligible.
236
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,033
Even drunk
he's still smarter than all of us.
237
00:12:57,068 --> 00:13:00,413
And stronger. Who wants to see me
beat up the bartender?
238
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,908
I'd enjoy that.
239
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,452
Nah, she's a good kid.
240
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,547
I mean, if this is a viable thing,
241
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:13,461
we could get a patent and license it
to companies that make guidance systems.
242
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,547
Look at that. You've known you're gonna
be a father for less than a day
243
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:20,558
- and you're already stepping up.
- I'm telling you, you got this.
244
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:21,889
Maybe you're right.
245
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,268
Of course he's right.
246
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,853
You and I both know how hard it is
growing up without a father.
247
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:30,189
That's why I'm confident
you're gonna be the best dad you can be.
248
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,363
- Thank you, Sheldon.
- You're welcome.
249
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,201
And if he has twins, we can do
all kinds of neat experiments on them.
250
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,242
You guys can go in if you want.
251
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,252
No, we're a team. If you can't go in,
we're not going in.
252
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,168
Then why are we drinking?
253
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,126
Okay, it's not like she's got
the Christ child in there, right?
254
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,594
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
255
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,431
Oh, it's Leonard. He says Sheldon's drunk
256
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,684
and they're gonna do karaoke
if we wanna join them.
257
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,843
That sounds fun.
258
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,011
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
259
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,481
Oh, no. Sheldon's drunk texting me.
260
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,682
What's it say?
261
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,110
"Would you like to sing karaoke with us."
262
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,569
How's that a drunk text?
263
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,571
Well, he used a period
instead of a question mark,
264
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,277
(CHUCKLING) he's so wasted.
265
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,408
(SINGING YOUNG MC SONG "BUST A MOVE")
266
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,337
(SINGING HOOK)
267
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,822
- (LEONARD CONTINUES SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
- Hey, guys. Congratulations!
268
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:02,985
Thank you.
269
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,904
Hi, how are you doing?
270
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,489
Oh, wonderful.
271
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,792
Yeah, I'm being musically encouraged
to Bust a Move.
272
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,287
If I knew what that meant,
I might just do it.
273
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,420
I'm really glad you're here. Can we talk?
274
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,925
Okay.
275
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,545
So, you gonna get up there later?
276
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,046
A microphone,
277
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:25,183
a room full of inaccurate depictions
of Polynesian religion
278
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,265
and a captive audience to hear about it?
You bet I am.
279
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:34,317
I'm sorry I freaked out this morning.
I want you to know...
280
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,687
I'm done being scared.
281
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,234
It's okay to be nervous, I am too.
282
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,569
Thank God, 'cause I was lying,
283
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:43,484
you might not have to wait nine months
to see someone soil their pants.
284
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,864
But I'm also really excited.
285
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,374
I mean it. (CHUCKLES)
286
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,039
Me, too.
287
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,540
I love you.
288
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:58,459
Mmm. And I'm not just saying that
because your breasts are gonna get bigger.
289
00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,883
(LAUGHS)
290
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,297
(SINGING JUSTIN BIEBER SONG "BABY")
291
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,829
(SINGING THE FOUR TOPS SONG
"BABY, I NEED YOUR LOVING")
292
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,146
(SINGING SALT-N-PEPA SONG "PUSH IT")
293
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,941
I appreciate this, but you really don...
294
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,284
(SINGING "MY COUNTRY, 'TIS OF THEE")
295
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:32,310
I'd like to dedicate
my last song of the evening
296
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:37,941
to my wife, best friend
and now the mother of our child.
297
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:40,818
I love you, Bernie.
298
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,531
(SINGING PAUL ANKA SONG
"HAVING MY BABY")
299
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:06,420
You're kidding! What kind of maniacs
have coitus in someone else's bedroom?
300
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,679
Thank you, Pasadena, good night!
301
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:13,680
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
302
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,391
That was such a fun night.
303
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,899
Probably 'cause you got to see
your man up there rocking the mic.
304
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,616
Yeah, yeah. I was a little surprised
when you decided to beatbox.
305
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:29,817
Oh.
306
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,529
That was really an asthma attack,
I just sold it.
307
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,537
Well, I am so happy
for Howard and Bernadette.
308
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,747
Me, too.
309
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,663
So, you ever think about it?
310
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,251
Babies?
311
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,042
Well, I'm not in a rush,
but someday, yeah, sure.
312
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,668
What about you?
313
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,051
I think we'd make amazing parents.
314
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,432
SHELDON: Will you guys keep it down?
315
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,974
On the other hand,
we might lack a certain maturity.
316
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,088
English - SDH
25229
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