All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 03x19 - The Wheaton Recurrence

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,311 Having a little trouble catching your breath, there? 2 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:16,675 No, I'm good. If my P.E. teachers had told me this is what I was training for... 3 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,215 ...I would have tried a lot harder. 4 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:24,317 Do or do not, there is no try. 5 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,358 Heh. Did you just quote Star Wars? 6 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,164 I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back. 7 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,429 Ha, ha. Oh, my God. 8 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:42,166 I am lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda. 9 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,409 I love you, Penny. 10 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,081 Uh... Heh. 11 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,687 Thank you. 12 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,558 You're welcome. 13 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,297 - I just wanted to put that out there. - Oh, yeah. No, I... 14 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,267 - I'm glad. - Yeah... Oh, good. 15 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,734 - Good. Glad is good. - Yeah. 16 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,041 Ha. Ahem. 17 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,643 No... Um... 18 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,104 So, heh... 19 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,949 It's getting pretty late. We should, tsk, go to sleep. 20 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:26,210 - Yeah. - Okay. 21 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:27,580 Yeah, probably. 22 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,222 - Okay. Good night, sweetie. - Good night. 23 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:08,022 Hey, Leonard, where do you come down on giant ants? 24 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,321 Sheldon says impossible, Howard and I say not only possible... 25 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,957 ...but as a mode of transportation, way cooler than the Batmobile. 26 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,862 You are ignoring the square-cube law. 27 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,372 The giant ant would be crushed under the weight of its exoskeleton. 28 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:26,034 For the record, the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation... 29 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:31,173 ...is jetpack, hover board, transporter, Batmobile and then giant ant. 30 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,284 Seriously, you have nothing better to do than sit around... 31 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,890 ...and discuss the possibility of giant ants? 32 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,354 - What's with him? - Perhaps he's at a sensitive point... 33 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:44,053 ...in his monthly cycle. 34 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:50,063 Are you saying he's man-struating? 35 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,198 Not literally. 36 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,398 But as far back as the 17th century... 37 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:59,011 ...scientists observed a 33-day fluctuation in men's hormone levels. 38 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,744 Interesting. 39 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,350 That might explain my weepy days in the middle of the month. 40 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,076 You know what I'm talking about. 41 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,355 Okay, forget giant ants. 42 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,530 How about giant rabbits? 43 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,595 Big or small, I don't like rabbits. 44 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,430 They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do. 45 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,102 Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. 46 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,766 On a side note, they are one of the few mammals... 47 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,879 ...whose scrotum is in front of the penis. 48 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,050 Maybe that's what they wanna talk about. 49 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:43,787 Leonard, where do you stand on giant rabbits and scrotal position? 50 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,585 I honestly don't care. 51 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,854 Really? Every time we've talked about unusual animal genitals... 52 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,294 ...you've always had some pretty strong and controversial opinions. 53 00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,702 What do you want? I just don't give a rat's ass. 54 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,634 Would that be a giant rat's ass? 55 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,376 For the record, giant rats are possible. 56 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,478 Can we please talk about something else? 57 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:09,979 Maybe something vaguely related to life as we know it on this planet? 58 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:15,949 Okay, how about this for a topic: "Why is Leonard being a giant douche?" 59 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,957 Assuming giant douches are possible. 60 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,328 Of course they are. Leonard's being one. 61 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:28,132 - Maybe he's having a spat with Penny. - No. There was no spat. 62 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,793 - Oh, but something happened. - I don't wanna talk about it. 63 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:35,998 But I sense you're going to and I don't wanna hear about it. Excuse me. 64 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,970 What'd you do, Romeo? 65 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,306 Did you pour maple syrup all over your body... 66 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,449 ...and ask her if she was in the mood for a short stack? 67 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,982 Think it would be funny to put on her panties and jump around... 68 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,456 ...but it wound up just creeping her out? 69 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:58,427 - What? No. - Just asking, dude. 70 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,190 It happens. 71 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,303 You guys still on for bowling tonight? 72 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:08,702 Oh, yes. In fact, I've prepared some trash talk for the occasion. Ahem. 73 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,139 You bowl like your mama. 74 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:15,610 Unless she bowls well. In which case, you bowl nothing like her. 75 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,980 Oh. Ouch. 76 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:23,549 That is what is referred to as "a burn on you." 77 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,850 - Did you ask her to start waxing? - No. 78 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,996 - Did you start waxing? - No. 79 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,565 While making love, did you accidentally spank your own ass... 80 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,702 ...and cry out, "Mommy" 81 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,874 I'm walking away from you now. 82 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,906 - That wasn't a no. - Yeah. Think we're getting close. 83 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,820 Did you take a Benadryl and fall asleep while pleasuring her? 84 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,389 Because you can die that way. 85 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,421 Oh, that would be a good way to go. 86 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,057 - Hi. - Oh, hey. 87 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,030 Good, Penny. Reminder, bowling tonight at 7:00. 88 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,101 Oh, right. Bowling. 89 00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,272 You don't have to come if you don't want. 90 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:17,374 No, no, it's okay. I mean, let's face it, you would get creamed without me. 91 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,772 We would indeed. In this particular case... 92 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,881 ...your lack of femininity works to our advantage. 93 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,714 Yeah. It's always nice chatting with you, Sheldon. 94 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,519 - Sarcasm? - Thinly veiled contempt. 95 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,624 - Remember, 7:00. - Got it. 96 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,229 - Pacific Daylight Time. - Bite me. 97 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,798 Please reserve that butch spirit for the lanes. 98 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:52,138 I thought you were bringing your own bowling shoes. 99 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,974 These are my own bowling shoes. 100 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,110 Then what's with the disinfectant? 101 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,649 I know where my feet have been. 102 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,489 Hey, Penny. 103 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:06,917 And you guys. 104 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,662 Albino Bob couldn't make it, so I brought a substitute. 105 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,790 I believe some of you know Wil Wheaton. 106 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,262 Hi, Sheldon. How's it going? 107 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:24,500 Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. 108 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,010 The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man. 109 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,478 The Pope Paul V to my Galileo. 110 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:32,777 The Internet Explorer to my Firefox. 111 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:37,186 Not carrying a grudge because I beat you at that card tournament, are you? 112 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,087 I'm the proud owner of Wil-Wheaton-stinks.com... 113 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,523 ...dot-net and dot-org. What does that tell you? 114 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:46,163 It tells me that I am living rent-free right here. 115 00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,025 - You ready to bowl? - Oh, I'm ready. 116 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,036 I don't know if Stuart told you what you're up against... 117 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:57,040 ...but before you stands the co-captain of the East Texas Christian Youth... 118 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,974 ...Holy Roller Bowling League Championship team. 119 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,509 Seven-to-12-year-old division. 120 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,714 Also, Penny's pretty good. 121 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,555 Great. Then it's on. 122 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,957 Foolish Wil Wheaton. 123 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,460 It was never off. 124 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,462 Yes! 125 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,397 A common spare. 126 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:27,028 The Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant. 127 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,535 Before you jump on Twitter to tout your modest accomplishment... 128 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,042 ...watch how it's really done. 129 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,646 I am the ball. 130 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,210 My thoughts are its thoughts. 131 00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,752 Its holes are my holes. 132 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,525 Yes. 133 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,858 Tweet that, Tweety Bird. 134 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,401 - I just wanted to tell you I'm a big fan. - Oh, thanks. 135 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:02,439 I'm sure you're probably sick of Star Trek questions... 136 00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,839 ...but Whoopi Goldberg, you ever hit that? 137 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,608 Ah. Beer. 138 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:17,587 The magic elixir that can turn this poor, shy Indian boy into the life of the party. 139 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,789 Oh, yeah. 140 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:29,533 - Chili-cheese fry? - Yes. I love chili-cheese fries. 141 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,261 - Really? You love them? - Yeah, why? 142 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,030 No reason. Just glad to hear... 143 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,801 ...you're comfortable saying you love something. 144 00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,776 - You wanna get into this right now? - Get into what? 145 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:44,109 Why wouldn't you love the chili-cheese fries? 146 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,218 They've been in your life a long time. 147 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,388 They make you happy. They deserve to know. 148 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:53,948 Okay, look, you caught me by surprise last night. I didn't know what to say. 149 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,095 Now you've had time to think about it. What do you wanna say? 150 00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,328 - I'm not sure. - How can you not be sure? 151 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,398 - This isn't the place to have this. - No. 152 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,662 The place was in bed after I said, "I love you"... 153 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,137 ...and you said, "Thank you. Good night." 154 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,743 - Don't push it, Leonard. - I am not pushing anything. 155 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:16,075 You are. You don't get to decide when I'm ready to say "I love you." 156 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:23,812 Ah. The premature "I love you." 157 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,493 I guessed premature. Does that count? 158 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,460 Penny. 159 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,527 Penny. 160 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,263 Penny. 161 00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,275 - What? - This is for you. 162 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,277 - Ice cream? - I've been familiarizing myself... 163 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:53,943 ...with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip "Cathy." 164 00:10:56,489 --> 00:11:00,289 When she's upset, she says "ack" and eats ice cream. 165 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,193 Um... 166 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,525 Ack. 167 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,696 And if you were a cat, I would have brought you a lasagna. 168 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,371 Did Leonard send you over here? 169 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:19,067 No. We haven't spoken since your abrupt departure last night... 170 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:22,806 ...caused us to forfeit to Stuart and his dastardly ringer, Wil Wheaton. 171 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,912 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 172 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:28,382 Not too proud to admit that I cried myself to sleep. 173 00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,052 - Again, I'm sorry. - Let me tell you... 174 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,714 ...sleep did not come easily... 175 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:36,692 ...with Leonard in the next room singing along with Alanis Morissette. 176 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,926 - You're kidding. - No. 177 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,532 Clearly another woman in dire need of ice cream. 178 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,898 What part of this is supposed to make me feel better? 179 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,269 The part where I tell you I've engineered a rematch... 180 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,172 ...with Stuart's team for tonight. 181 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:56,075 Oh, honey, I don't know. Things are a little weird with Leonard right now. 182 00:11:56,583 --> 00:12:00,019 You want me to remove him from the team? I'm the captain, I can do that. 183 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:05,254 No, no, that's okay. Just let me talk to him and I'll get back to you. 184 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,294 - When are you going to talk to him? - I don't know. 185 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,556 He's in the laundry room now. Now would be a good time. 186 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,768 You're not gonna leave me until I do it? 187 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,938 Oh, I think we both know the answer to that question. 188 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:29,246 - I think we should talk now. - What? No, it's okay. 189 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,282 We don't have to talk because there's nothing to talk about. 190 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,818 - Everything's good. - Really? 191 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,319 So you didn't get snarky... 192 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,549 ...because I said something nice to a bowl of chili fries? 193 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,125 All right, maybe I overreacted. 194 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,129 So we're in two different places, emotionally. So what? 195 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,162 And maybe I'm a little ahead of you, and that's fine. 196 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,734 In fact, it makes sense, because let's face it... 197 00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,737 ...I've been in this relationship two years longer than you. 198 00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,303 Look, Leonard, you have to know how much I care about you. 199 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,415 It's just that I've said the L word too soon before... 200 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,278 ...and it didn't work out very well. 201 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,483 Really? I wouldn't know what that's like. 202 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:10,416 I'm sorry. 203 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,785 - You know what I'm talking about. - Yeah, I do. 204 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,195 - So we're good? - Yes, that's what I'm telling you. 205 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,092 We are good. We are great. 206 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:22,530 All right. Fence mended, problem swept under the rug. 207 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,135 Time to bowl. 208 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,337 Yes, I was eavesdropping. There's a lot at stake. 209 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,306 Attention, all bowlers... 210 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:38,314 ...I've taken the liberty of having these made for our rematch. 211 00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,678 - The Wesley Crushers? - No, not the Wesley Crushers. 212 00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,015 The Wesley "Crushers." 213 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,516 - I don't get it. - Wesley Crusher... 214 00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,990 ...was Wil Wheaton's character on Star Trek. 215 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,629 Still don't get it. 216 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,855 It's a blindingly clever play on words. 217 00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,967 By appropriating his character's name and adding the S... 218 00:13:56,135 --> 00:14:00,071 ...we imply that we will be the crushers of Wesley. 219 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,475 I'm sorry, but the Wesley Crushers... 220 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,907 ...sounds like people who like Wesley Crusher. 221 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,170 No, again, it's not the Wesley Crushers. 222 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,509 It's the Wesley "Crushers." 223 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:15,387 No, if you want it to mean you're crushing Wesley... 224 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,523 ...it'd be the "Wesley" Crushers. 225 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:20,818 Do you people even hear yourselves? It's not the Wesley Crushers. 226 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:25,020 It's not the "Wesley" Crushers, it's Wesley "Crushers." 227 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,723 Hey, look. They named their team after me. 228 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,932 No, it's not... Never mind. 229 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,740 So we're all clear on the bet and the stakes? 230 00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,002 Oh, yes. 231 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:43,342 The losers will be publicly humiliated in a fashion to be chosen by the victor. 232 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:47,246 FYI, I plan on having you publish a scientific paper... 233 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,617 ...expounding the discredited Belakovsky hypotheses. 234 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,948 Ouch again. 235 00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,924 Hey, Sheldon. 236 00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:01,596 I wanted you to know I'm looking forward to wiping the floor with you. 237 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:05,794 Oh, yes? Well, before I respond, let me ask you a question. 238 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,934 Is your mother a good or poor bowler? 239 00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:19,078 - After you. - No, after you. 240 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:23,655 As we are currently crushing you, Wesley. 241 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:29,125 It's customary for the player on the right-hand lane to bowl first. 242 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,821 All right. 243 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,565 It's a custom, not a rule. 244 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,937 I so loathe you. 245 00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:50,142 That's right, Sheldon. Embrace the dark side. 246 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,982 That's not even from your franchise. 247 00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:01,820 I, um... I want you to know that even though we're on opposite sides... 248 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,825 ...I bear you no ill will. 249 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,659 - Thank you, Stuart. It's nice to know. - Mm-hm. 250 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,836 People from opposite sides often have good relationships. 251 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,595 You know, Romeo and Juliet... 252 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,138 ...Tony and Maria from West Side Story. 253 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,872 What's-his-name and the big, blue chick in Avatar. 254 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:24,372 I'm gonna bowl now. 255 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,286 Be the ball, Howard. 256 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,686 Leave me alone, Sheldon. 257 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,730 You weren't the ball. 258 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,462 Hey, thanks. 259 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,367 - This is fun, huh? - Yeah. 260 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,371 It's good we got out and did something physical. 261 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,043 - Mm-hm. - Gets us out of our heads. 262 00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:53,235 You get in your head... 263 00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:56,404 ...you start to over-think, over-analyze, obsess, you worry. 264 00:16:56,582 --> 00:17:00,018 That's not what we're doing tonight. We're throwing a ball at some pins. 265 00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:01,413 - Yeah, that's right. - Mm-hm. 266 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,680 And someday, we don't know when, maybe you'll love me back. 267 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,390 Ooh. I'm up. 268 00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:14,663 Sheldon. Sheldon. Sheldon. 269 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:15,926 Excuse me. 270 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:20,070 I don't know who you're chanting for, as I am currently the ball. 271 00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:28,337 The ball. The ball. The ball. 272 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,241 Thank you, Jesus! 273 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,383 As my mother would say. 274 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,622 I'm glad you patched things up with your boyfriend. 275 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,697 Yeah, me too. 276 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,892 It's tough when the L bomb gets dropped and you're not ready. 277 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,400 Tell me about it. 278 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:56,066 I dated this one girl, and I told her that I loved her... 279 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,442 ...and she said she wasn't sure. 280 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:02,570 And she strung me along for almost two years. It was brutal. 281 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,811 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Thanks. 282 00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,751 I wish she had just broken up with me right there. 283 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,253 Put me out of my misery. 284 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,551 - Really? - Yeah. Would have been kinder. 285 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,291 - Wil, you're up. - Oh, that's me. 286 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,735 Did you let Wil Wheaton get in your head? 287 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,097 - What are you talking about? - He's evil. 288 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,240 He plays evil mind games. 289 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,739 - Did he tell you his grandmother died? - No. 290 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,970 If he does, don't believe it. He's not above playing the dead meemaw card. 291 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:39,776 Yes! 292 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,114 Enjoy the accolades now, Wil Wheaton. 293 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,757 But like your time on Star Trek: Next Generation... 294 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,485 ...your smug self-satisfaction will be short-lived. 295 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,524 - Penny, you're up. - All right, remember... 296 00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:56,293 - ...his meemaw's alive and be the ball. - Yeah. I got it. 297 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,994 - Oh, we really need a strike here. - I know. 298 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:02,265 - Take your time and concentrate. - Leonard, stop pressuring me. 299 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,705 - I'm not pressuring you. - You are. Just back off. 300 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,509 Okay. I'm sorry. I'll shut up. 301 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,274 I didn't mean shut up. 302 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:12,777 Fine. 303 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,216 Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. 304 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,716 No. This isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry. 305 00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,861 Wait, where are you going? Penny, come back. 306 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,224 I'll get you ice cream. 307 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,958 - No, let her go. - Are you insane? 308 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,967 If she leaves, it's over. 309 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:35,200 Pretty sure it's already over. 310 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,834 Tough luck, Sheldon. 311 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,873 You did this, didn't you? 312 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,380 Do you think I would break up a couple just to win a bowling match? 313 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:49,716 - No, I suppose not. - Good. Keep thinking that. 314 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:56,924 Wheaton... 315 00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,993 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Yep. 316 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:06,605 I'm telling you, the Match.com chicks are much looser than on eHarmony. 317 00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:14,045 Oh. You know, I gotta call you back. I won a bet and it's time to collect. 318 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,794 I don't know about you, but I feel empowered. 25740

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