All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 03x11 - The Maternal Congruence

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:10,840 Aw, I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes. 2 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,342 Tears seem appropriate. 3 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,676 Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy... 4 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:19,376 ...is a serious disease, which could lead to congestive heart failure. 5 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,683 Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. 6 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:26,188 - You really didn't like it, Sheldon? - No, on the contrary. 7 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,024 I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character. 8 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:35,032 I was really with him up to the point that he succumbed to social convention... 9 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:38,399 ...and returned the presents and saved Christmas. 10 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,273 What a buzzkill that was. 11 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,372 When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun. 12 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,778 Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. 13 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:54,387 Frosty is merely a bit of frozen supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. 14 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,691 A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account. 15 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,451 Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. 16 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:32,988 I just love decorating the Christmas tree, it makes me feel like a little girl again. 17 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,319 We didn't have a tree when I was growing up. 18 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,259 - Really? Why not? - Mm, in my family... 19 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:42,266 ...holidays weren't so much celebrated, as studied for their anthropological... 20 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,836 ...and psychological implications on human society. 21 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,502 Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give presents? 22 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:52,304 Hm, in a way. We presented papers. 23 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:57,007 And then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other. 24 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,446 Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a tree? 25 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,021 Oh, yes. 26 00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,281 We had a tree, we had a manger... 27 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:09,520 ...we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. 28 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,827 To make things more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house... 29 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,162 ...they induced neighborhood-wide seizures. 30 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,034 I take it you don't wanna help us trim the tree? 31 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:25,211 I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home... 32 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,870 ...I would request that you that add this. 33 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,037 What is it? 34 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:34,681 You're kidding, right? It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton. 35 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,221 Oh, sure, sure. Yeah, very Christmassy. 36 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:42,726 Excuse me, it's much more Christmassy than anything you've put on the tree. 37 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,830 Here we go. 38 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:49,833 December 25th, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. 39 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,733 Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the summer. 40 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:56,398 His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional pagan holiday... 41 00:02:56,576 --> 00:03:00,342 ...that celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. 42 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,379 Which, frankly, sounds like more fun... 43 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,814 ...than 12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake. 44 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,680 Merry Newtonmas, everyone. 45 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,757 I sense that's not sincere, although I have no idea why. 46 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,918 No, it's fine. Sir Isaac can go next to this candy cane. 47 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,758 No, Isaac goes at the top of the tree. 48 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,560 - No, he doesn't. - I understand. 49 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,533 You dispute Newton's claim that he invented calculus... 50 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,697 ...and you want to put Gottfried Leibniz on the top. 51 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,274 Yeah, you got me. I'm a Leibniz man. 52 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:34,244 Perhaps when your mother gets here, she'll talk some sense into you. 53 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,212 - What? Your mother's coming? When? - Tomorrow. 54 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,215 When were you gonna tell me? 55 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,384 Oh. Tomorrow? 56 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,953 Why were you keeping this a secret? 57 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,888 - Well, I just... I thought... - If I could interject here. 58 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:51,258 Obviously, Leonard is concerned that his mother won't approve of you as his mate. 59 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:55,731 Wh...? Why wouldn't she approve of me? I'm adorable. 60 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,770 - Yeah, you are. It's just my moth... - If I could interject again. 61 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:03,307 Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family... 62 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,775 ...who have all chosen high-achieving partners. 63 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,939 He probably feels that it's doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed... 64 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:13,143 ...with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement... 65 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,980 ...is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu. 66 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,118 Hey, it's a big menu. 67 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,650 There's two pages just for desserts. 68 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,763 I know. And those specials, they change every day. 69 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:28,324 Okay, it's lame when I say it, it's ridiculous when you pile on. 70 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,595 Okay. Sorry. 71 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,296 What did she say when you told her we were going out? 72 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,804 Um... 73 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,640 You didn't tell her we were going out, did you? 74 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,301 Um... 75 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,346 - Why not? - Um... 76 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,347 Leonard, I'm no expert on meditation... 77 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:48,113 ...but if you're trying to calm yourself down, I believe the word is "om." 78 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:54,660 It was so nice of you to come to the airport to pick me up. 79 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,295 No trouble at all. 80 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,863 I drove, Mother. 81 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,493 I'm driving now. 82 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:02,999 Yes, dear. Mommy's proud. 83 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:08,702 Thank you for your notes on my paper disproving quantum-brain-dynamic theory. 84 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:09,966 My pleasure. 85 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,203 You know, for a non-physicist, you have a remarkable grasp... 86 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:16,313 ...of how electric dipoles in the brain's water molecules... 87 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,644 ...could not possibly form a Bose condensate. 88 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:23,045 Wait, wait, wait. When did you send my mom notes on a paper? 89 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:27,057 August 16th. Right after her carpal-tunnel surgery. 90 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,154 - Did I thank you for the flowers? - You did. 91 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,556 - I don't really like flowers. - Neither do I. 92 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:35,997 - But it's the social convention. - It is, isn't it? 93 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,000 Wait, wait, wait. You had surgery? 94 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,833 - Yes, and Sheldon sent me flowers. - No, I heard that. 95 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,840 Then what was all that "wait, wait, wait" about? 96 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:48,337 I just don't understand why he knows more about your life than I do. 97 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:52,246 Because Sheldon and I stay in touch due to mutual interest and respect... 98 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:56,082 ...while you avoid me due to unresolved childhood issues. 99 00:05:56,590 --> 00:06:00,185 It's what we think caused your narcissistic-personality disorder. 100 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,194 We discussed it at length during our last video chat. 101 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,231 Although how we got onto the subject of you is baffling. 102 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,234 Yes, but we are on the subject, so I'm obliged to ask. 103 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,770 Leonard, how are you? 104 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,572 - Fine, Mom. How are you? - Menopausal. 105 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:20,773 Now I'm less fine. 106 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,612 - Have you heard your brother's engaged? - No. 107 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,718 Sheldon, why didn't you tell me? 108 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:31,051 My bad. I did send a gift from both of us. 109 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,751 She's a remarkable girl. The youngest appeals-court judge in New Jersey... 110 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,920 ...and a two-time Olympic bronze medalist. 111 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,393 You must be very happy. 112 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,124 Why? I'm not marrying her. 113 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,737 So how about you? Are you seeing anyone interesting? 114 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,931 Well, I'm not sure about interesting, but... 115 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,906 - Not the time, Sheldon. - Very well. 116 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:55,639 Shall we switch topics to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz? 117 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,146 It's all right, Sheldon. 118 00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:00,582 I will just pretend that Leonard's not withholding information. 119 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:04,646 Although, I will point out, Leonard, that I am a trained psychiatrist... 120 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,816 ...and you are exhibiting the same secretive behavioral tics... 121 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,325 ...that accompanied your learning to masturbate. 122 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,160 Isn't she brilliant, Leonard? 123 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,998 How I envy you. 124 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,666 So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage... 125 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:27,939 ...to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another? 126 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,346 What? No. 127 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,780 Why not? 128 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:40,190 Because we don't have latent homosexual feelings toward one another. 129 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,189 I see. 130 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:47,292 - No, really. I have a girlfriend now. - And where is she this evening? 131 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,465 She had to go out of town, her grandmother died. 132 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,601 I see. 133 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,963 "Her grandmother died." 134 00:07:56,509 --> 00:08:00,206 Honest to God. Ahem. Leonard, tell her I have a girlfriend. 135 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,314 I don't know what you're talking about. 136 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,677 What do you mean, you don't know what I'm talking about? 137 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,218 - Tell her I have a girlfriend. - All right. 138 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,553 He "has" a "girlfriend." 139 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,383 Her name is Bernadette. 140 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,527 She's a waitress, but going to school to be a microbiologist. 141 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,221 The more passionately you stick to this construct... 142 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,890 ...the more you're hurting your partner. 143 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,240 Do you really think your lips in my ear is helping? 144 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,341 - Hi. Sorry I'm late. - Oh, glad you're here. 145 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,174 Sit down, I'll get you a plate. Mom, you remember Penny? 146 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:40,513 Oh, yes, the waitress/actress with the unresolved father issues. 147 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:44,748 Has he finally come to terms with his little slugger growing breasts? 148 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:48,087 Well, he sent me a football and a catcher's mitt for Christmas... 149 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,161 ...so I'm gonna say no. 150 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:54,195 If it helps, we're all good with your breasts. 151 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,199 Classic overcompensation. 152 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,267 Oh, speaking of fathers, Leonard, that reminds me. I'm divorcing yours. 153 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,878 - What? - Yes. He was cheating on me. 154 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,071 - No. - Yes. 155 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,614 With some waitress from the university cafeteria. 156 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:14,220 Can you believe it? A waitress. 157 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:15,778 Oh, no offense, dear. 158 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,224 No, it sounded like a compliment. 159 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,058 - When did this happen? - Well, let's see. 160 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,720 Sheldon, when did I leave Leonard's father? 161 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,127 September 22nd. 162 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,632 Right, the weekend after Leonard's dog died. 163 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,964 Mitzy's dead? 164 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:38,070 She was old and blind, Leonard. What choice did we have? 165 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,804 I don't believe this. Why am I the last to know? 166 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,107 Excuse me, I am the one getting a divorce... 167 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,650 ...Mitzy is the one who is dead, why are you the one making a fuss? 168 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,954 You're right. I'm sorry. 169 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,955 I'm way out of line. 170 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,253 Penny, what's new in your life? 171 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,991 Nothing. Not a damn thing. 172 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,332 Thank you for driving me back to my hotel. 173 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,907 Oh, it's not a problem. 174 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:13,944 I was going to ask Leonard to do it, but he seemed a bit emotionally unstable... 175 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,641 ...and you don't want someone like that operating heavy machinery. 176 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,580 No, you do not. 177 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,016 Your "check engine" light is on. 178 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,848 Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that. 179 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,662 So you must be devastated about your divorce. 180 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:35,494 Oh, not at all. But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle... 181 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,831 ...that's not subjected to regular maintenance. 182 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:42,463 Come on, I mean, you're not upset that your marriage is over? 183 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:46,840 Well, initially I felt something akin to grief and perhaps anger... 184 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:50,210 ...but that's the natural reaction of the limbic system... 185 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,147 ...to being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch. 186 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,812 - Sure. Sure. - Thankfully, my shock was mitigated... 187 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,517 ...by the fact that I haven't had intercourse with him in eight years. 188 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,127 - Eight years? - Oh, that's nothing. 189 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:07,733 I've been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982. 190 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,663 Yikes. 191 00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:15,233 Wha...? What's so funny? 192 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:19,310 That's exactly what I say during orgasms: Yikes. 193 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,577 I could use a drink. You wanna stop for a drink? 194 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:25,377 - Oh, I don't drink. - I do. I'll teach you. 195 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,589 Leonard? Leonard? Leonard? 196 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,724 What is it? 197 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:36,852 I made tea. 198 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,359 I don't want tea. 199 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,263 I didn't make tea for you. 200 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,101 This is my tea. 201 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,498 Then why are you telling me? 202 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,103 It's a conversation starter. 203 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,346 That's a lousy conversation starter. 204 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,381 Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate. 205 00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,946 What do you want, Sheldon? 206 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:02,883 What I want is to be departing the starship Enterprise... 207 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,048 ...in a one-man shuttlecraft headed to the planetoid I rule... 208 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,126 ...known as Sheldon Alpha Five. 209 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,626 Mm, I want that too. 210 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,129 Why are you here? 211 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,067 To comfort you, of course. 212 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:22,371 No, that's not going to work at all. I'll comfort you from over here. 213 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:31,372 Leonard, what you're experiencing is a classic Jungian crisis... 214 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,577 ...in which the aging individual mourns the loss... 215 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,882 ...of the never-to-be-realized ideal family unit. 216 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,558 - Thank you, that's very comforting. - That's not the comforting part. 217 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:45,430 - It's not? - No. No, the comforting part... 218 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:50,558 ...is that the Germans have a term for what you're feeling, "Weltschmerz." 219 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:55,506 It means the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is... 220 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:59,111 ...to a hypothetical idealized world. 221 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,743 You're right, I do feel better. 222 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:05,577 Yeah, the Germans have always been a comforting people. 223 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:12,520 Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family has failed you... 224 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,855 ...you always have me, your surrogate family. 225 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,993 You're my surrogate family? 226 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,258 If it's any consolation, I'm not happy about it either. Good night. 227 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:31,704 Okay, now this time, try drinking it all at once. 228 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,175 Ah. 229 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,814 Yikes. 230 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,891 I've been responsible for my own buzz since 2003. 231 00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:53,991 Another round for me and my homegirl. 232 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:58,737 I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities. 233 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:02,466 As long as you don't feel it running down your pants, you're fine. 234 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,485 That is fascinating. 235 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,511 I'm noticing an immediate lowering of my inhibitions. 236 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,916 For example, I'm seriously considering asking that busboy... 237 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:26,498 ...to ravish me in the alleyway while I eat cheesecake. 238 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,194 What do you think? 239 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,998 Well, we are known for our cheesecake. 240 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,668 - Hit us again. - Yes. 241 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:40,404 - If a little is good, more must be better. - Ha, ha. 242 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,175 - Hey, Bev, guess what? - What? 243 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,180 I'm sleeping with your son. 244 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,216 Really? 245 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,282 Which one? 246 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:55,754 The one from whom I live across the hall from. 247 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:59,864 Oh, well, that's convenient. How did his penis turn out? 248 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,900 Oh, Beverly, I can't talk to my boyfriend's mother about his penis. 249 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,129 Oh, fair enough. 250 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:10,639 What can you tell me, if anything, about that busboy's penis? 251 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,315 Actually, I've only had the cheesecake. 252 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,244 One more time. 253 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:23,751 You know, Leonard did not wanna tell you we were dating. 254 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:28,151 Really? That means he's either embarrassed by the relationship... 255 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:31,819 ...or he doesn't care enough about his mother to tell her he's in one. 256 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,964 Either way, one of us should be insulted. 257 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:40,400 - Well, let's go find out who. - You go get a taxi. 258 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:44,771 I'm gonna slip my business card into that busboy's back pocket... 259 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:49,244 ...cupping his firm right buttock as I do so. 260 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:56,318 - Leonard? - Sonny boy. 261 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,788 Get out here! Your mommy wants to talk to you! 262 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,459 What the hell is going on? 263 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,459 You're In trouble. 264 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,591 Why didn't you tell me you were tapping my homegirl? 265 00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:19,134 - Did I say that right? - Yeah. Not bad, not bad. 266 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,874 Are you guys drunk? 267 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:26,508 Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del Taco? 268 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,950 Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship... 269 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,387 ...with this lovely, charming young woman? 270 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,356 - Heh, heh. Thank you. - You're welcome. 271 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:40,898 Is it because she's uneducated, trapped in a menial service position? 272 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:44,059 What the hell happened to lovely and charming? 273 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,900 How come you didn't tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce? 274 00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,167 How come you didn't tell me you had surgery? 275 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,402 How come you didn't tell me my dog died? 276 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,678 What I hear you saying... 277 00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,816 ...is that you want a more intimate mother-son relationship. 278 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,916 I do. 279 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:17,202 There. It's late. Now, go to bed. 280 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:32,779 I'm getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart. 281 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,680 That's the Del Taco. 282 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:45,396 Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door? 283 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,632 Speaking of warm feelings... 284 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,792 Come here. 285 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,545 No, I'd rather have the busboy. 286 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,113 Thank you for taking me to the airport. 287 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,282 You're very welcome. 288 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:17,929 Once again, I'm driving. I'm right here. 289 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,292 Please, I am very hung-over... 290 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,764 ...and in no mood to satisfy your need for approval. 291 00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:29,306 Sheldon, I do hope you forgive me for my inappropriate behavior last night. 292 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:30,634 I don't blame you. 293 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,142 - You were intoxicated. - Thank you. 294 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,745 I blame Penny. 295 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:39,308 I blame Penny too. Bad Penny. 296 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,448 Wait a minute, what are you talking about? What inappropriate behavior? 297 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:46,751 - I think it's best that you not know. - Agreed. 298 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,450 Agreed. 299 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,153 What the hell, agreed. 300 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,630 And I want you to take very good care of this young woman. 301 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:59,331 - Aw. Thank you, Beverly. - You're welcome. 302 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,303 She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects. 303 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,342 Don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well. 304 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,173 Remember when I was complaining that you don't communicate with me enough? 305 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:15,184 - Yes, dear. - I'm over it. 306 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:20,657 Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. 25739

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