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1
00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:06,816
I have never seen an old person
in a new bathing suit...
2
00:00:06,983 --> 00:00:09,951
...in my life. I don't know where
they get their bathing suits.
3
00:00:10,503 --> 00:00:13,220
But my father has bathing suits
from other centuries.
4
00:00:13,383 --> 00:00:14,757
My parents live in Florida.
5
00:00:14,919 --> 00:00:17,701
And if you go down there and
you forget your bathing suit...
6
00:00:17,862 --> 00:00:20,251
...then they want you
to wear one of theirs.
7
00:00:20,582 --> 00:00:21,924
You know how that gets?
8
00:00:22,087 --> 00:00:24,869
''You need trunks, son?
I got trunks for you.
9
00:00:25,030 --> 00:00:26,852
You can wear my trunks.''
10
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:29,600
Fathers don't wear bathing
suits, they wear trunks.
11
00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:33,149
It's kind of the same thing a tree
would wear if it went swimming.
12
00:00:33,670 --> 00:00:37,018
So I get in the water in this thing,
and it's, like, floating around me...
13
00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:38,946
...somewhere.
14
00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:41,379
You ever put on a bathing suit
that you don't know...
15
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,647
...exactly where you are
inside the bathing suit?
16
00:00:43,814 --> 00:00:45,952
You bump into somebody,
''No, I'm parasailing.
17
00:00:46,117 --> 00:00:48,027
I'm waiting for the boat
to come back.''
18
00:00:54,117 --> 00:00:56,354
It was supposed to be here at 7:30.
19
00:00:56,517 --> 00:00:59,167
-Call the airlines again.
-What happened to the Scotch tape?
20
00:00:59,332 --> 00:01:00,794
Who takes the Scotch tape?
21
00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:03,386
Nobody returns anything
around here.
22
00:01:03,557 --> 00:01:05,083
Oh, I think that's them.
23
00:01:05,252 --> 00:01:06,779
Know what I'll do next time?
24
00:01:06,949 --> 00:01:08,443
I'll hide it so nobody can find it.
25
00:01:10,916 --> 00:01:12,443
-Hi! Welcome!
-Hi!
26
00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:14,074
-Welcome.
-How are you?
27
00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:17,440
-Welcome to Florida!
-Hi, Mr. Seinfeld.
28
00:01:17,604 --> 00:01:19,873
Hey, there's the old man.
29
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,403
So, what took you so long?
30
00:01:22,564 --> 00:01:24,986
We waited 35 minutes
in the rent-a-car place.
31
00:01:25,155 --> 00:01:27,294
I don't know why.
We would have picked you up.
32
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,631
-What's the difference?
-You could use our car.
33
00:01:29,796 --> 00:01:31,225
I don't want to use your car.
34
00:01:31,396 --> 00:01:33,435
-What's wrong with our car?
-Nothing. It's fine.
35
00:01:33,603 --> 00:01:35,294
-What if you want to use it?
-We don't.
36
00:01:35,459 --> 00:01:38,208
-What? We use it.
-lf you were using it, we wouldn't.
37
00:01:38,371 --> 00:01:39,582
So, what, you'd hitch?
38
00:01:39,748 --> 00:01:42,203
-How much is a rent-a-car?
-I don't know, 25 bucks a day.
39
00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:45,219
-What? Oh, you're crazy.
-Plus the insurance.
40
00:01:45,379 --> 00:01:46,840
Oh, I didn't get the insurance.
41
00:01:47,011 --> 00:01:49,150
How could you not
get the insurance?
42
00:01:49,602 --> 00:01:50,780
We'll pay for the car.
43
00:01:50,947 --> 00:01:52,987
-You're not paying for it.
-Morty.
44
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:56,034
God, it's so hot in here.
45
00:01:57,762 --> 00:01:59,518
Why don't you put on
the air conditioning?
46
00:01:59,682 --> 00:02:03,326
You don't need the air conditioner.
Do you have your speech all ready?
47
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,083
Do I have to make a speech?
48
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,868
Of course. They're giving
a testimonial for your father.
49
00:02:08,034 --> 00:02:10,107
-You could do your comic routines.
-Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:10,273 --> 00:02:12,892
That'll go over real well
with that crowd.
51
00:02:13,153 --> 00:02:14,746
You have a lake.
52
00:02:15,073 --> 00:02:16,829
-The lake isn't real.
-The lake is real.
53
00:02:16,993 --> 00:02:18,586
Are you kidding? They built the lake.
54
00:02:18,754 --> 00:02:21,274
But it's real, it's water.
55
00:02:22,145 --> 00:02:25,047
-Where are you going with those?
-I'll put Elaine's stuff in here.
56
00:02:25,218 --> 00:02:27,072
Don't sleep in there.
Sleep in the bedroom.
57
00:02:27,521 --> 00:02:28,830
I can't take your bedroom.
58
00:02:28,993 --> 00:02:32,092
-I'm up at 6:00 in the morning.
-I can't kick you out of your bed.
59
00:02:32,257 --> 00:02:34,264
We don't even sleep.
60
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,825
-Ma.
-It's a sofa bed.
61
00:02:36,993 --> 00:02:38,902
-You'll be uncomfortable.
-What about you?
62
00:02:39,072 --> 00:02:40,250
Why should I be comfortable?
63
00:02:41,504 --> 00:02:43,577
-What about him?
-Don't worry. He's comfortable.
64
00:02:43,744 --> 00:02:45,686
I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine.
65
00:02:46,912 --> 00:02:50,174
-Will you stop?
-Yeah, I'll just stay in here.
66
00:02:50,944 --> 00:02:52,667
Jerry.
67
00:02:55,424 --> 00:02:58,206
Jerry, you don't have to stay
on the couch on my account.
68
00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:01,237
-You two can stay in there together.
-That's not a good idea.
69
00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:04,091
-I thought that you--
-Not now. She's right inside.
70
00:03:04,256 --> 00:03:05,630
What happened?
71
00:03:05,855 --> 00:03:08,670
I don't know. We decided we
don't really work as a couple.
72
00:03:09,024 --> 00:03:11,063
-What does that mean?
-Well--
73
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:13,086
Why are you whispering?
74
00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:15,541
-Nothing, nothing.
-Elaine.
75
00:03:15,711 --> 00:03:17,653
-What about her?
-Would you please be--?
76
00:03:19,263 --> 00:03:22,045
You know, look at the
sun-dried tomatoes.
77
00:03:22,207 --> 00:03:24,378
Where were they five years ago?
78
00:03:24,542 --> 00:03:26,909
It just goes to show you,
you never know what--
79
00:03:27,134 --> 00:03:29,306
What, you know, could happen...
80
00:03:29,758 --> 00:03:33,074
...to a vegetable. It could just
take right off at any time.
81
00:03:36,446 --> 00:03:38,202
We've tried all kinds
of arrangements...
82
00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,984
...but we can't seem to be friends
when we sleep together.
83
00:03:41,246 --> 00:03:43,668
Why do you need more friends?
84
00:03:43,837 --> 00:03:45,299
You've got plenty of friends.
85
00:03:45,630 --> 00:03:48,597
-He's an idealist.
-What are you looking for?
86
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:51,251
-I'm looking. I like looking.
-He likes looking.
87
00:03:51,421 --> 00:03:52,948
-So look.
-But how long can you look?
88
00:03:53,118 --> 00:03:55,092
I'm going for the record.
89
00:03:57,245 --> 00:03:59,863
Your father wouldn't say so,
but he's really glad you came.
90
00:04:00,029 --> 00:04:01,938
-Oh, come on.
-This is a big thing for him.
91
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,498
Outgoing president
of the condo association.
92
00:04:08,252 --> 00:04:10,641
So they arrived safely.
93
00:04:10,813 --> 00:04:13,180
-Remember Jack and Doris?
-Nice to see you.
94
00:04:13,341 --> 00:04:14,934
-This is Elaine.
-Hi.
95
00:04:15,101 --> 00:04:16,508
-Nice to meet you. Hello.
-Hello.
96
00:04:16,669 --> 00:04:18,425
-Pleased to meet you.
-Hey, Jerry...
97
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:21,141
...you came all the way
down here for this?
98
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:22,585
And scuba diving.
99
00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:24,667
Scuba diving?
Who's going scuba diving?
100
00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:26,683
We're going. We'll be back in time.
101
00:04:26,844 --> 00:04:28,534
What do you have to go
scuba diving for?
102
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,489
-For fun.
-For fun?
103
00:04:30,652 --> 00:04:32,343
Jack, have some sponge cake.
104
00:04:33,276 --> 00:04:35,163
No. Thanks, no.
105
00:04:35,323 --> 00:04:36,501
Jack is emceeing tomorrow.
106
00:04:36,891 --> 00:04:39,990
-He's in charge of the whole thing.
-So, Jerry, your mother tells me...
107
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:42,774
...you're gonna do one of your
little comedy skits tomorrow.
108
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:45,395
-I don't think so.
-No?
109
00:04:45,563 --> 00:04:47,930
Listen, Morty, you want to
settle up for last night?
110
00:04:48,091 --> 00:04:53,045
All right. I owe you $ 1 9.45.
111
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,283
What did you have?
You had the minute steak.
112
00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:57,044
-Yeah.
-Did you have a Coke or what?
113
00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:59,632
I did not have a Coke.
114
00:04:59,803 --> 00:05:00,980
Somebody had a Coke.
115
00:05:01,242 --> 00:05:03,064
-I had a Coke.
-Oh, and I had the scampi.
116
00:05:03,611 --> 00:05:07,091
So, that's $ 1 7.1 0,
and the tax and the tip.
117
00:05:07,451 --> 00:05:09,458
All right, make it 20 bucks.
118
00:05:09,627 --> 00:05:12,888
It's $ 1 9.45, Morty.
119
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:14,610
$ 1 9.45?
120
00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,399
See, you know your father.
121
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,610
You got to get it right
to the penny.
122
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,232
But that's why he was
such a good president.
123
00:05:21,657 --> 00:05:22,934
Hey, what kind of pen is that?
124
00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,686
-This pen?
-Yeah.
125
00:05:25,849 --> 00:05:28,337
Oh, this is an astronaut pen.
126
00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:31,537
It writes upside down.
They use this in space.
127
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:35,535
Oh, that's the astronaut pen. I heard
about that. Where did you get it?
128
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:38,992
-It was a gift.
-Because a lot of times I write in bed...
129
00:05:39,161 --> 00:05:42,128
...and I have to turn and lean on
my elbow to make the pen work.
130
00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:45,624
-Take the pen.
-Oh, no.
131
00:05:45,785 --> 00:05:46,799
-Go ahead.
- I couldn't.
132
00:05:46,968 --> 00:05:48,146
-Take it.
-I can't take it.
133
00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:50,418
-Do me a personal favor.
-No, I'm not comfortable.
134
00:05:50,585 --> 00:05:52,373
-I cannot take it.
-Take the pen.
135
00:05:52,536 --> 00:05:55,569
-Are you sure?
-I'm positive. Take the pen.
136
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,894
Okay, thank you very much.
Thank you. Gee, boy.
137
00:06:00,056 --> 00:06:02,128
-Jack, what are you doing?
-Stop it.
138
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:03,921
Jack, we should go.
139
00:06:05,944 --> 00:06:08,049
It was nice meeting you.
140
00:06:08,216 --> 00:06:09,623
-Nice to meet you.
-Thanks again.
141
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,285
Come on!
142
00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:13,335
She's adorable.
143
00:06:17,463 --> 00:06:18,772
What did you take his pen for?
144
00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,804
-He gave it to me.
-But you didn't have to take it.
145
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:25,106
She's gotta make a big deal
out of everything.
146
00:06:25,271 --> 00:06:28,020
-He offered it to me.
-Because you made such a big fuss.
147
00:06:28,183 --> 00:06:30,572
Well, I liked it. Should l
have said I didn't like it?
148
00:06:30,743 --> 00:06:33,328
You shouldn't have said anything.
What did you expect?
149
00:06:33,495 --> 00:06:36,244
He could have said, ''Thank you,''
and put it back in his pocket.
150
00:06:36,406 --> 00:06:39,090
-He loves that pen.
-Come on.
151
00:06:39,255 --> 00:06:42,004
He talks about it all the time.
He goes on and on...
152
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,686
...about how it writes upside down,
how astronauts use it.
153
00:06:44,854 --> 00:06:46,480
He never should have offered it.
154
00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:49,460
-He didn't think you'd accept.
-Well, he was wrong.
155
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:53,232
I know his wife.
She has some mouth on her.
156
00:06:53,398 --> 00:06:56,660
She'll tell everyone in the condo now
that you made him give you the pen.
157
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:58,900
They're talking about it right now.
158
00:06:59,158 --> 00:07:01,459
-So you want me to return it?
-Yes.
159
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:03,858
He's not gonna return that pen.
That's ridiculous.
160
00:07:04,021 --> 00:07:05,614
I don't even want the pen now.
161
00:07:05,782 --> 00:07:08,596
Jack can afford to give away a pen
with all his money, believe me.
162
00:07:08,757 --> 00:07:11,245
He gives me a check for $ 1 9.45.
163
00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:13,966
He didn't have a Coke.
164
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,556
Here, let me see it.
165
00:07:19,701 --> 00:07:22,766
-Hey, it writes upside down.
-Yeah.
166
00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:35,027
Come in.
167
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:38,195
You okay in here?
168
00:07:39,412 --> 00:07:42,259
Why is it so hot in here?
169
00:07:43,443 --> 00:07:45,134
How can they sleep like this?
170
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,859
It's only for three days.
171
00:07:47,027 --> 00:07:48,685
Today's over.
Then we have tomorrow.
172
00:07:48,851 --> 00:07:51,786
We leave on Sunday.
It's one day, really.
173
00:07:54,547 --> 00:07:57,067
What is with this bar?
174
00:07:57,747 --> 00:08:00,016
It's right in my back. It's killing me.
175
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,088
You wanna switch?
I'm on a love seat.
176
00:08:02,259 --> 00:08:05,575
I got my feet up in the air
like I'm in a space capsule.
177
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,882
I am never gonna fall asleep.
178
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:10,439
Oh, no, don't say that.
You'll jinx me.
179
00:08:12,115 --> 00:08:14,351
How can they not put
the air conditioning on?
180
00:08:14,514 --> 00:08:16,653
They're nuts with temperature.
181
00:08:19,058 --> 00:08:21,873
This bar is right in my back.
182
00:08:24,114 --> 00:08:26,219
It's making a dent.
183
00:08:28,338 --> 00:08:32,877
How about that guy
writing a check for $ 1 9.45?
184
00:08:33,682 --> 00:08:35,143
I'm sweating here.
185
00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:38,952
I'm in bed, sweating.
186
00:08:39,313 --> 00:08:40,873
It's one day.
187
00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:42,956
Half a day, really.
188
00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:47,438
I mean, you subtract showers
and meals, it's like 20 minutes.
189
00:08:47,729 --> 00:08:49,704
It'll go by like that.
190
00:08:50,993 --> 00:08:54,189
Stay on 95 South
to Biscayne Boulevard.
191
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,747
Then you make a left turn.
192
00:08:57,296 --> 00:09:00,362
Put your blinker on immediately,
there's an abutment there.
193
00:09:00,528 --> 00:09:03,594
Then you're gonna merge over
very quickly, but stay on Biscayne.
194
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,516
Don't get off Biscayne,
you understand me?
195
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,567
Stay on Biscayne.
196
00:09:08,432 --> 00:09:09,839
You're going underwater?
197
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,847
Yes, generally, that's where
scuba diving is done.
198
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,918
What do you have to go for?
What's down there that's so special?
199
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,763
What's so special up here?
200
00:09:21,424 --> 00:09:22,601
What's the matter?
201
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:25,156
-My back.
-What happened?
202
00:09:25,328 --> 00:09:26,734
That-- That bed.
203
00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,230
The bar was right in my back.
204
00:09:29,391 --> 00:09:31,333
I told you to let us sleep in there.
205
00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:33,161
Then you would be hunched over.
206
00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:36,647
I don't even know if
I can go scuba diving.
207
00:09:36,815 --> 00:09:39,051
-You can't go?
-So stay home.
208
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,323
-You can go.
-Without you?
209
00:09:41,487 --> 00:09:42,894
That's the reason you came down.
210
00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:44,843
-Don't go.
-You sure?
211
00:09:45,006 --> 00:09:46,283
Maybe you should see a doctor.
212
00:09:46,543 --> 00:09:49,030
-We'll stay in a hotel tonight.
-No, we'll stay in there.
213
00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:50,507
Why don't you get a new sofa?
214
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,813
Nobody uses it.
215
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:54,792
I'm buying you a new sofa.
216
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:56,299
Jerry, don't talk crazy.
217
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:58,349
Mrs. Seinfeld, please...
218
00:09:58,574 --> 00:10:00,516
...I am begging you:
219
00:10:00,686 --> 00:10:04,614
Put the air conditioner on.
220
00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:09,543
You're hot?
221
00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:13,351
I've lost six pounds.
222
00:10:13,805 --> 00:10:15,398
I don't even know how to work it.
223
00:10:15,565 --> 00:10:17,954
I keep telling her
it's like an oven in here.
224
00:10:19,629 --> 00:10:20,906
Is everybody up?
225
00:10:21,069 --> 00:10:22,727
Hi, how are you?
226
00:10:22,893 --> 00:10:24,321
Hello, Jerry.
227
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,955
Evelyn, this is Elaine.
228
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:27,398
Hi, Evelyn.
229
00:10:28,877 --> 00:10:31,015
Jerry, you got thin.
230
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,707
-Too thin?
-Oh, stop worrying...
231
00:10:32,877 --> 00:10:34,306
...so much about how you look.
232
00:10:36,365 --> 00:10:38,121
So where's the new pen?
233
00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:49,291
-What?
-The pen.
234
00:10:49,452 --> 00:10:51,394
The one Jack Klompus gave you.
235
00:10:51,756 --> 00:10:54,122
-How did you know that?
-Blanche told me.
236
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:57,796
-Blanche?
-That's some good pen.
237
00:10:57,963 --> 00:11:01,094
-Writes upside down.
-Yeah.
238
00:11:01,803 --> 00:11:04,869
-The astronauts use them.
-What did Blanche say?
239
00:11:05,035 --> 00:11:07,402
I don't know, she said
Jerry wanted the pen.
240
00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:09,635
I never really wanted the pen.
241
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,592
-He gave him the pen.
-Morty.
242
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:14,340
-Why? You don't like the pen?
-No, no, l--
243
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,416
Because if you don't,
give it back to him.
244
00:11:16,586 --> 00:11:18,441
-Is that what she said?
-Who?
245
00:11:18,603 --> 00:11:20,741
-Blanche.
-What are you talking about?
246
00:11:23,818 --> 00:11:24,995
Hello?
247
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,912
Oh, hello, Gussy. What?
248
00:11:28,074 --> 00:11:31,270
Jerry wouldn't do that.
Jack gave it to him.
249
00:11:32,714 --> 00:11:35,463
All he said was he liked it.
250
00:11:35,626 --> 00:11:37,568
I mean, nobody put
a gun to his head.
251
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,225
You're giving him back that pen.
252
00:11:42,217 --> 00:11:43,646
Somebody, please.
253
00:11:43,817 --> 00:11:45,442
The air conditioner.
254
00:11:45,769 --> 00:11:47,395
Oh, my God, I forgot all about it.
255
00:11:47,561 --> 00:11:51,205
All I said was, ''I like the pen.''
256
00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:54,343
How the hell do you
work this thing?
257
00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,070
Maybe you shouldn't go tonight.
258
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:02,208
Oh, no, no, I wanna go.
259
00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:03,783
But your back hurts.
260
00:12:03,944 --> 00:12:06,115
Maybe a couple of muscle
relaxers would help.
261
00:12:06,472 --> 00:12:08,033
Oh, okay.
262
00:12:10,408 --> 00:12:12,579
You can turn down the air
conditioning if you want.
263
00:12:12,744 --> 00:12:14,435
No, I'm fine.
264
00:12:14,888 --> 00:12:17,506
-You're not too cold?
-No.
265
00:12:19,016 --> 00:12:21,699
-Don't be alarmed.
-Oh, my God.
266
00:12:21,863 --> 00:12:23,718
-What the hell happened to you?
-I'm okay.
267
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,433
-My capillaries burst.
-Your capillaries?
268
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,120
-Do you know what you look like?
-How you doing?
269
00:12:29,288 --> 00:12:30,946
Having a good time.
270
00:12:31,111 --> 00:12:33,500
Is it my imagination
or is it freezing in here?
271
00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:35,133
What happened to your eyes?
272
00:12:35,303 --> 00:12:37,823
-Well, I started to go under--
-With the instructor?
273
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,452
Yeah, I got about 1 0 feet down...
274
00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:42,274
...and felt this tremendous
pressure on my mask...
275
00:12:42,439 --> 00:12:45,286
...like my eyeballs were being
sucked out of their sockets.
276
00:12:45,447 --> 00:12:46,691
I told you.
277
00:12:46,951 --> 00:12:48,412
Excuse me.
278
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:51,365
Doris would like to borrow
your red pocketbook...
279
00:12:51,526 --> 00:12:53,086
...to go with her shoes.
280
00:12:53,254 --> 00:12:55,043
The shoes have to match
the pocketbook.
281
00:12:55,974 --> 00:12:57,861
What's she doing, yoga?
282
00:12:58,534 --> 00:13:00,389
-My back hurts.
-Morty, better hurry up.
283
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:02,460
-Get ready.
-We got plenty of time.
284
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,735
-What happened?
-I got in a fistfight...
285
00:13:04,902 --> 00:13:07,171
...with one of the ladies at the pool.
286
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,060
It's from scuba diving.
287
00:13:09,317 --> 00:13:10,812
What's there to see underwater?
288
00:13:11,110 --> 00:13:12,997
Listen, Mr. Klompus...
289
00:13:13,157 --> 00:13:17,019
...it was a nice gesture to give me
the pen, but I don't really need it.
290
00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:19,904
-You what?
-It's a terrific pen...
291
00:13:20,069 --> 00:13:21,629
...but I think you should keep it.
292
00:13:22,245 --> 00:13:23,935
-Well, I mean--
-Take it.
293
00:13:24,581 --> 00:13:26,108
All right.
294
00:13:26,277 --> 00:13:29,626
You know, Jack, you got a hell
of a nerve taking that kid's pen.
295
00:13:29,829 --> 00:13:31,257
-Whose pen?
-His pen.
296
00:13:31,429 --> 00:13:32,639
This happens to be my pen.
297
00:13:32,804 --> 00:13:35,390
-You didn't give it to him?
-What are you talking about?
298
00:13:35,557 --> 00:13:37,117
He practically begged me for it.
299
00:13:37,797 --> 00:13:39,324
Where do you come off
with this crap?
300
00:13:39,492 --> 00:13:42,394
Listen, do you think I take
everything everybody offers me?
301
00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:44,480
You offered me
sponge cake yesterday.
302
00:13:44,644 --> 00:13:46,433
-Did I take it?
-You didn't want it.
303
00:13:46,596 --> 00:13:49,662
Of course I wanted it!
I love sponge cake.
304
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:51,486
Who said you couldn't have it?
I mean...
305
00:13:51,652 --> 00:13:54,018
...what the hell do I care whether
you have sponge cake?
306
00:13:54,179 --> 00:13:56,252
Because I saw the look
on your face last week...
307
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,110
...when I took the Scotch tape.
308
00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:00,222
So you got the Scotch tape.
309
00:14:00,387 --> 00:14:02,721
-I've been looking all over for it.
-I'll give it back.
310
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,793
-I don't want it.
-I don't want it!
311
00:14:05,795 --> 00:14:07,867
You know, Jack,
do me a favor, will you?
312
00:14:08,035 --> 00:14:11,231
Take the pen and the Scotch tape
and get the hell out of here.
313
00:14:11,395 --> 00:14:13,054
Listen, do you think I give a damn?
314
00:14:17,058 --> 00:14:19,709
Nerve of that guy,
taking back that pen.
315
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:21,369
Well, that's it for them.
316
00:14:21,539 --> 00:14:24,954
What is going on
in this community?
317
00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:27,102
Are you people aware
of what's happening?
318
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,633
What is driving you
to this behavior?
319
00:14:29,794 --> 00:14:31,932
Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak?
320
00:14:32,098 --> 00:14:33,920
Is it the white shoes?
321
00:14:34,466 --> 00:14:37,914
I have no use for either one of them.
I don't want them there tonight.
322
00:14:38,081 --> 00:14:39,391
Isn't he supposed to emcee?
323
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,469
Yeah, he's supposed
to be the emcee.
324
00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:44,186
Well, this should be
a very interesting evening.
325
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:49,056
What about those muscle relaxers?
326
00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:54,938
Say ''astronaut.''
327
00:14:55,713 --> 00:14:57,535
Say what?
328
00:14:58,049 --> 00:15:00,089
Say what?
329
00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:02,525
You took too many of those pills.
330
00:15:02,977 --> 00:15:04,733
-Astronaut?
-Say it.
331
00:15:04,897 --> 00:15:08,093
-Astronaut!
-Astro....
332
00:15:11,713 --> 00:15:12,890
Good. Okay.
333
00:15:13,056 --> 00:15:15,293
Last year, I took him
to the hospital every day.
334
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,366
Did he ever say thank you?
335
00:15:17,536 --> 00:15:19,030
Oh, God.
336
00:15:19,201 --> 00:15:20,859
Uncle Leo.
337
00:15:21,952 --> 00:15:23,196
Hello!
338
00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:27,734
-Morty, are you nervous?
-What nervous?
339
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:30,424
What's with the sunglasses?
Who are you, Van Johnson?
340
00:15:30,592 --> 00:15:31,769
I got a black eye.
341
00:15:32,511 --> 00:15:34,235
Hello.
342
00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,887
Oh, Elaine...
343
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:38,965
...this is my Aunt Stella.
344
00:15:39,935 --> 00:15:41,942
Stella!
345
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,646
Stella!
346
00:15:47,711 --> 00:15:49,783
Her back hurts.
347
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,424
We saw you on
The Tonight Show last week.
348
00:15:54,591 --> 00:15:57,143
I thought Johnny
was very rude to you.
349
00:15:57,310 --> 00:16:00,310
-He didn't even let you talk.
-No, no.
350
00:16:00,479 --> 00:16:01,788
You need some new material.
351
00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:05,266
I've heard you do that
dog routine three times already.
352
00:16:05,918 --> 00:16:08,471
Stella!
353
00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,618
Stella!
354
00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:15,575
You should get your cousin Jeffrey
to write some material for you.
355
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,294
What? Jeffrey works
for the Parks Department.
356
00:16:18,462 --> 00:16:20,796
You should read
the letters he's written.
357
00:16:20,957 --> 00:16:23,259
He's funnier than the
whole bunch of you.
358
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,135
Oh, here's Jack.
We should sit down.
359
00:16:28,957 --> 00:16:32,273
This better be good.
I'm missing Golden Girls for this.
360
00:16:34,013 --> 00:16:36,599
I hate her like poison.
361
00:16:39,453 --> 00:16:41,558
Hey, Jack, let's get started.
362
00:16:47,228 --> 00:16:49,846
Ladies and gentlemen,
as you know...
363
00:16:50,204 --> 00:16:54,938
...every year, phase two
of the Pines of Mar Gables...
364
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,849
...honors the previous
year's president.
365
00:16:58,012 --> 00:16:59,801
And this year, we are honoring...
366
00:16:59,964 --> 00:17:01,338
...Morty Seinfeld.
367
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,223
Morty!
368
00:17:04,955 --> 00:17:09,527
A man who slept more hours
on the job than Ronald Reagan.
369
00:17:12,251 --> 00:17:14,073
Slept on the job?
370
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:16,985
Being president of the condo
is not easy.
371
00:17:17,147 --> 00:17:20,278
It requires hard work, dedication,
and commitment.
372
00:17:20,443 --> 00:17:25,298
And unfortunately, he possesses
none of these qualities.
373
00:17:27,898 --> 00:17:29,687
I wonder what he ever did.
374
00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,738
He's joking.
375
00:17:31,898 --> 00:17:35,062
His administration did
excel in one department:
376
00:17:35,226 --> 00:17:37,681
The hiring of incompetents.
377
00:17:37,978 --> 00:17:39,800
That's what you say.
378
00:17:39,962 --> 00:17:42,896
But we do owe him
a debt of gratitude...
379
00:17:43,066 --> 00:17:46,644
...because by not fixing
the crack in the sidewalk...
380
00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:51,152
...it put Mrs. Ziven out of
commission for a few weeks.
381
00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:54,387
Tell them about when you
took my son's pen back.
382
00:17:54,554 --> 00:17:56,179
Tell them about that.
383
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,686
Dad.
384
00:17:57,849 --> 00:18:00,337
He gave my son a pen,
and then he takes it back.
385
00:18:00,505 --> 00:18:02,066
-Tell them that!
-I took it back?
386
00:18:02,233 --> 00:18:04,405
-He gave it to me!
-That's enough. Sit down.
387
00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:07,056
-I'm not finished!
-Give me that microphone. Give it!
388
00:18:07,225 --> 00:18:09,614
-Morty, give me that.
-Give him the pen.
389
00:18:11,161 --> 00:18:13,332
You broke my dental plate.
390
00:18:13,849 --> 00:18:15,736
Doris! He broke my dental plate.
391
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:18,067
You son of a bitch. I'll sue you.
392
00:18:18,232 --> 00:18:19,574
Jerry, do your act.
393
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,589
I can't. Nobody's even listening.
394
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,246
Well, they're all gonna leave.
395
00:18:23,704 --> 00:18:26,126
-I got witnesses here.
-Even your wife is on my side.
396
00:18:26,296 --> 00:18:28,335
How you folks doing tonight?
397
00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:31,853
Hey, have you ever noticed how they
give you the peanuts on the planes?
398
00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:34,741
-Not my Harry! He flies first class!
-Who thought the thing...
399
00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:37,107
...everybody wants on a plane
is a peanut?
400
00:18:37,271 --> 00:18:40,370
-I'd rather have a bottle of Scotch!
-Do the dog routine.
401
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,306
All I said was, ''I like the pen!''
402
00:18:46,263 --> 00:18:49,972
Stella!
403
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,372
You could aggravate it.
404
00:18:53,079 --> 00:18:55,021
I wouldn't go anywhere
for at least five days.
405
00:18:55,511 --> 00:18:57,234
Five days?
406
00:18:57,399 --> 00:18:59,733
You want me to stay here
for five more days?
407
00:18:59,894 --> 00:19:01,650
There must be some mistake.
408
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,564
I'm afraid not.
409
00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:05,806
Five days. Here.
410
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,136
So we have you for five more days.
411
00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,236
There's no point in me staying.
You're just gonna be--
412
00:19:12,406 --> 00:19:13,900
Excuse me?
413
00:19:14,390 --> 00:19:15,852
Nothing.
414
00:19:17,494 --> 00:19:19,861
-Good morning.
-Hi, Evelyn.
415
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:23,052
Has Morty decided on a lawyer yet?
416
00:19:23,382 --> 00:19:25,553
-I don't think so.
-Because my nephew Larry...
417
00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:27,724
...could do it. He's a brilliant lawyer.
418
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:29,933
He says Jack has no case.
419
00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:32,085
I'll ask him when he gets up.
420
00:19:32,245 --> 00:19:34,100
Oh, and I spoke to Arnold...
421
00:19:34,421 --> 00:19:38,829
...and he says that according to the
bylaws of the condo constitution...
422
00:19:38,997 --> 00:19:43,219
...they need six votes to throw you out
for unruly behavior.
423
00:19:43,893 --> 00:19:45,202
Not five.
424
00:19:45,461 --> 00:19:48,144
Dr. Chernov is the one
you'll have to suck up to.
425
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:53,714
Oh, my back.
426
00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:55,665
Oh, my back.
427
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,926
That bar. Who the hell
could sleep on that thing?
428
00:19:59,253 --> 00:20:01,773
-I was very comfortable.
-Morty...
429
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:05,006
...Arnold says they need
six votes to throw you out.
430
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,578
It's in the constitution.
431
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,609
-Who are you?
-I'm a chiropractor.
432
00:20:09,779 --> 00:20:12,016
What, are you kidding me?
433
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,474
Five more days?
434
00:20:14,931 --> 00:20:19,666
Well, today's almost over,
and weekdays always go by fast.
435
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:22,282
And Friday, we're leaving,
so it's like two days, really.
436
00:20:23,731 --> 00:20:25,771
It's like a cup of coffee.
437
00:20:26,131 --> 00:20:28,041
It'll go by like that.
438
00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:31,976
Is Florida not hot and muggy
enough for these people?
439
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:33,609
They love heat.
440
00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:36,145
lf they ever decide to
land men on the sun...
441
00:20:36,306 --> 00:20:39,056
...I think these old retired guys
will be the only ones...
442
00:20:39,219 --> 00:20:41,553
...that will be able to handle it.
They'll sit there...
443
00:20:41,714 --> 00:20:45,009
...on the redwood benches,
washcloth on their head, going:
444
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,825
''I'm trying to get a sweat going.''
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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