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I'M DRUNK AS HELL I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS AWAY
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LIKE RINGING A BELL FOOT'S TO THE FLOOR
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AND THE WHISKEY'S FLOWING I GOT A PORN SHOOT
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I GOTTA GET GOING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ♪ >> ♪ 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE
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12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE ♪ >> ♪ JET CAR'S ROLLING
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ALL NIGHT LONG CRANKING UP THE JAMS
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AND SINGING ALONG CAR'S FULL OF BITCHES
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AND A BRAND NEW BONG ♪ [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] >> WE MUST BE, UH--WOW.
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HOLY CRAP, WE'RE HIGH.
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LOOK. WHAT IS THAT DOWN THERE?
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>> [SQUEAK] >> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M
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THINKING.
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THERE'S NOTHING DOWN THERE BUT WHERE WE LIVE, EXCEPT FOR OVER
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THERE.
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IT LOOKS LIKE A REAL CITY.
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[BEEPING] [BEEPING STOPS]
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[BEEPING] ALL RIGHT, I THINK WE GOT HER.
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LET'S GIVE HER A CRANK.
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[ENGINE REVVING] PERFECT.
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WHERE'S SHE GOING?
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>> I DON'T KNOW.
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TO SAVE MOUSE, I GUESS?
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HOW WOULD I KNOW?
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DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR PERSONAL COMPUTER?
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>> HAND ME THAT TOWEL.
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WHY?
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YOU'RE BECOMING BLACK NOW--THE BAD BLACK SHARK, REMEMBER?
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>> HAND ME THAT TOWEL, PLEASE, SO I CAN SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR
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MOUTH AND DOWN INTO YOUR GUTS?
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>> WHOO.
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I'M SCARED.
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[PIANO PLAYING] >> THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, SPIDER,
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BUT, HEY, LISTEN, MAN, LET'S PUT AN END TO ALL THIS, MAN.
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WHY DON'T YOU UNTIE ME, MAN, OK?
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I'LL BE COOL.
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JUST HAND ME THAT GUITAR.
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I AIN'T GONNA ACT UP OR NOTHING, AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT
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FOR ON A TUNE.
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THERE YOU GO.
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ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
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OH, THIS IS NICE.
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GOOD SPIDER.
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>> MY BLOOD HAS TURNED TO BOOZE, AND I WANT MY FACE TO
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TURN TO BOOZE.
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HA HA HA!
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OH, IF MY BLOOD COULD DRINK MY FACE, WE'D BE ALL RIGHT.
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>> MY TOE, I'M GONNA GET TOE.
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>> OH, HERE'S A GOOD IDEA.
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LET'S FIND SOME GUNS AND PLAY WITH THEM.
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>> DAMN STRAIGHT.
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GIVE ME A GUN.
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I'LL GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK.
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>> NICE.
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>> I DON'T CARE HOW MANY LITTLE CHITTERLINGS YOU HAD.
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[TOY MACHINE-GUN FIRE] >> OK, HERE'S IT.
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YOU GIVE ME A GUN, AND THEN I'LL SAY, "GIVE ME THE GUNS."
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HA HA HA!
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WHERE'S MY HAT?
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JOE, BE HONEST WITH ME.
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IS MY HAT ON MY HEAD?
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>> I DON'T DRESS YOUR ASS IN THE MORNING.
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SHUT THE FREAK UP.
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>> COOL.
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ALL RIGHT, SO FIRST, AHEM, WE GET THE LIQUOR.
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THEN IT'LL BE LIKE, "GIVE ME YOUR HANDS."
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>> HEY, REALLY GREAT TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
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IT'S REALLY GREAT TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
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I JUST WANT TO THANK THE WHOLE CROWD FOR COMING TO SEE ME,
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COMING TO SEE ME.
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HA HA!
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BECAUSE YOU'RE EYEBALLS.
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THANK YOU.
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SO, WHAT'S UP WITH THIS TOWN, HUH?
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IT'S LIKE IT'S MADE OF CARDBOARD OR SOMETHING.
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HA HA HA!
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>> HE'S FUN-EYE.
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>> HE IS FUN-EYE.
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>> THANK YOU.
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THANK YOU, SERIOUSLY.
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SO I WENT TO GET A BAGEL AT THE HAT STORE, AND THE HAT SAID,
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"HEY, GO GET ME A BAGEL."
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THE HAT SAID IT.
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YOU PEOPLE ARE WILD.
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AND WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.
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>> WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?
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WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?NG?
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WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
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WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
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WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?
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>> WE'RE PARKING.
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>> OH, I GET IT NOW.
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I GET IT NOW.
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>> I GET IT NOW.
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>> I GET IT NOW.
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>> I GET IT NOW.
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>> SKILLET, YOU ARE NOW DR. SKILLET.
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FIX HER HEAD.
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NO, NO, NO.
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FIX IT, LIKE TERMINATOR.
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>> THIS ONE HERE IS LOW AND SLOW.
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♪ NOW, GUNS ARE FUN AND YOU'D BETTER RUN
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WHEN YOU SEE ME COMING 'CAUSE THIS A-K
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WILL MAKE MY DAY WHEN I START A-HUNTIN'
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WILL MAKE MY DAY WHEN I START A-HUNTIN'
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NOW, WHEN MY SWEET BOAR IT STARTS TO ROAR
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YOU OUGHT TO SEE THEM SCATTER JUST IN CASE MY AGENT K WON'T
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PUT AN END TO THE MATTER NOW IT AIN'T NO LIE
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MANY MEN HAVE DIED AND, MISTER, I AIN'T BRAGGIN'
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SO WATCH YOUR MOUTH AND MIND YOURSELF
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OR I'LL SKIN THIS HERE SMOKE WAGON
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[BEEP] [BEEP]
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GOL DARN IT!
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MAN, THERE WERE A THOUSAND GUNS DOWN IN THERE.
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WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
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SPIDER BOY, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO...
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AND THAT'S TO FIRE UP THE CORN DROID.
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OH, UH, YOU'RE NOT THE CORN DROID.
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THIS IS ONE BAD [BEEP].
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NOW, SEE, A SKELETON IS AN ARRAY OF FUTURE WEAPONRY WHICH
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IS SURROUNDED BY MEAT...
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THAT WAS MECHANICALLY SEPARATED AND FINELY COATED IN A TEFLON
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BATTER AND DEEP-FRIED.
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AND HE HAS ONLY ONE MISSION, AND THAT'S TO WIPE THIS
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FREAKIN' PLACE OUT ON MY COMMAND.
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SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
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YOU WITH ME?
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>> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW, BUT THERE'S THIS THING CALLED A
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CLUTCH.
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IT'S DOWN THERE.
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>> YEAH, I KNOW WHAT IT IS, AND I'M PRESSING IT WITH MY FIN,
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BUT I EASILY COULD PRESS IT WITH YOUR FACE.
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THERE WE GO.
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SEE?
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I'M ON THIS.
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>> WOW.
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I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE IMPRESSED.
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YOU MUST BE A SCIENTIST.
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>> I HAVE A FEELING SOMETHING BAD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO YOU
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AND EVERYONE ELSE, BUT MAINLY YOU.
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>> WE'LL TALK TO THE CLOCK ABOUT THAT.
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>> I'LL TALK TO HIM.
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YOU STAY IN THE CAR.
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>> YES, I WILL BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY IN THE CAR.
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IT WAS MY IDEA.
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I THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE YOU SAID IT.
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>> YEAH, EVERYBODY CARES WHAT YOU SAY, AS LONG AS YOU SAY IT
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LAST, WHICH YOU ALWAYS BARELY DO.
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THAT'S REALLY APPEALING.
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>> YES, IT SURE IS, ALWAYS.
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ALWAYS AND ALWAYS.
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>> WHOOPS.
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NOW I'LL HAVE THE LAST WORDS, WON'T I?
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YES, I WILL.
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I'M HAVING THEM RIGHT NOW.
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I'M HAVING THEM RIGHT NOW.
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AND THEN I'LL BE THE GUY EVERYONE SAYS, "HEY, THERE'S
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THE GUY."
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HEY, WHAT-- >> SLOW AND PATHETIC.
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I'M OUTWALKING YOUR CAR, DUMB ASS.
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>> YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-- >> SHIP. GET IT?
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SHIP.
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THERE ARE 3 SHIPS, NOT TWO.
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HEY, HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF DRINKS FOR MY FRIENDS?
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>> EYE NEVER DRINK.
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>> EYE NEVER DRINK EITHER.
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>> SO THIS GUY--A GUY WALKS INTO HIS HOUSE.
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WIFE SAYS, "HEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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I BOUGHT YOU THIS BOWTIE."
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AND THE GUY GOES, "NOT ANOTHER TIE."
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HE SERIOUSLY SAID THAT TO HER.
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HEY, WHO'S HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE SCREAMING LETTER?
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HEY, WHO'S HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE SCREAMING LETTER?
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>> THIS IS EVERY BIT OF CLOTHING I'VE EVER OWNED IN MY
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LIFE.
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>> [SCREECH] >> SOMEBODY WRAPPED THEM UP.
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>> [SCREECH] >> WHAT?
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OH, SHE IS?
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[GUN COCKS] [MACHINE-GUN FIRE]
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YOU ROUTED HER TRIGGER MOUTH TO THOSE TRIGGERS.
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>> FIND A FIRE THAT WILL COOK
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SOME MEAT, AND THEN FIND THE MEAT TO COOK ON IT, AND THEN
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WE'LL HOLE UP HERE FOR A WHILE.
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[CLINK] >> AND WHEN HE SAID, "CAN I
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GIVE YOU A HAND?" HE REALLY MEANT, "CAN I GIVE
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YOU A HAND--THIS HAND."
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[CHUCKLES] HEY, Y'ALL KEEP DRINKING AND
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LAUGHING, AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE.
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THEY'RE NOT BUYING IT.
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>> [BABBLING] >> NO. HERE'S A BETTER IDEA.
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SUCK IT.
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>> [BABBLING] >> SOMEONE SOUNDS MAD BACK
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THERE.
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>> YES, SOMEONE DOES.
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>> ♪ 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE
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12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE
13737
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