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1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,627
LEONARD: Nice move.
RAJESH: I've got it.
2
00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:05,754
HOWARD: Take him down.
LEONARD: He's got you, Sheldon.
3
00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:08,090
HOWARD: Come on.
LEONARD: He's completely schooling you.
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,343
Hey, guys, some of the other waitresses
wanted me to ask you something.
5
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:14,054
- It's Tressling.
- It combines the physical strength...
6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:18,600
...of arm wrestling with the mental agility
of Tetris into the ultimate sport.
7
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:22,563
That's terrific, but what they wanted me
to ask you is to cut it the hell out.
8
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,481
All right, come on, guys. Come on.
9
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:28,569
WAIT STAFF [SINGING]:
Happy birthday to you
10
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,779
We might as well stop, it's a stalemate.
11
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:34,908
You're beating me in Tetris, but you've got
the upper body strength of a Keebler elf.
12
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:37,369
Keebler elf?
I got a Keebler elf right here.
13
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,039
[RAJESH GROAN ING]
14
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,293
Okay, it's a stalemate.
15
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:49,548
Leonard, will we be seeing you on Saturday
for your free birthday cheesecake?
16
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,092
He can't eat cheesecake.
He's lactose intolerant.
17
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,719
Okay, he can have carrot cake.
18
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,764
- What about the cream-cheese frosting?
- He can scrape it off.
19
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,934
Forget about the cake.
How did you know my birthday's Saturday?
20
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,561
I did your horoscope, remember?
21
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,231
I was gonna do everybody's until Sheldon
went on one of his psychotic rants.
22
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,901
For the record, that psychotic rant...
23
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,945
...was a concise summation
of the research of Bertram Forer...
24
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,490
...who, in 1948, proved conclusively...
25
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,492
...through meticulous experiments...
26
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,994
...that astrology
is pseudoscientific hokum.
27
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,996
Blah, blah, blah. Typical Taurus.
28
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,084
- So we gonna see you Saturday?
- I don't think so.
29
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,169
- Why not?
- I don't celebrate my birthday.
30
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,504
Shut up. Yeah, you do.
31
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:30,839
It's no big deal.
It's the way I was raised.
32
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,467
My parents focused
on celebrating achievements...
33
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:37,387
...and being expelled from a birth canal
was not considered one of them.
34
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,058
- That's so silly.
- It's actually based on very sound theories.
35
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:44,144
- His mother published a paper on it.
- Well, what was it called?
36
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,688
"I Hate My Son
and That's Why He Can't Have Cake"?
37
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,441
SHELDON:
It was obviously effective.
38
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,819
Leonard grew up to be
an experimental physicist.
39
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:55,697
Perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas,
he'd be a little better at it.
40
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,367
Thank you.
41
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:02,371
Well, I love birthdays. Waking up
to Mom's special French-toast breakfast...
42
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:06,333
...wearing the birthday king crown,
playing laser tag with all my friends.
43
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,544
Yeah, see? That's what kids should have.
44
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:11,088
Actually, that was last year.
45
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,386
So you've really never had
a birthday party?
46
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,054
No, but it was okay.
47
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:23,475
When I was little, I'd think my parents
would change their mind and surprise me.
48
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,145
This one birthday,
I came home from my cello lesson...
49
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,272
...and I saw strange cars
parked out front.
50
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,440
When I got to the door,
I hear whispering...
51
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:34,027
...and I could smell German chocolate cake,
which is my favorite.
52
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,740
- And?
- It turns out my grandfather had died.
53
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,660
Oh, my God, that's terrible.
54
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,037
Well, it was kind of like a birthday party.
55
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:48,375
I got to see all my cousins,
and there was cake, so...
56
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,212
- That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
- You think?
57
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,423
Go ahead,
tell her about your senior prom.
58
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,619
HOWARD:
Make sure they remember, no peanuts.
59
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:27,915
Howard, every Thai restaurant in town
knows you can't eat peanuts.
60
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:31,877
When they see me coming,
they go, "Ah, no-peanut boy."
61
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:46,391
- Hello, Penny, Leonard just left.
- I know, I wanna talk to you.
62
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,227
What would we talk about?
63
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,979
We have no overlapping
areas of interest I'm aware of.
64
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,399
- As you know, I don't care for chitchat.
- Can you just let me in?
65
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,778
Well, all right, but I don't see this
as a promising endeavor.
66
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,072
Okay, here's the deal.
67
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,158
We'll throw Leonard a kickass
surprise party for his birthday.
68
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,326
I hardly think so.
69
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,745
Leonard made it clear
he doesn't want a party.
70
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,206
Did someone say party?
71
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:13,627
He just doesn't know he wants one,
because he's never had one.
72
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,003
I suppose that's possible.
73
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:18,840
But for the record, I've never had
a threesome and yet I still know I want one.
74
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,219
Here's the difference.
75
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,180
The possibility exists
Leonard could have a birthday party...
76
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,474
...before hell freezes over.
77
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,020
Fine. If I do have a threesome,
you can't be part of it.
78
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,524
I'm just kidding. Yes, you can.
79
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,652
Can you bring a friend?
80
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,739
I think a birthday party is a terrible idea.
81
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,659
I envy Leonard for growing up
without that anguish.
82
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,868
Anguish?
83
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,122
Year after year,
I had to endure wearing conical hats...
84
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,625
...while being forced into the crowded,
sweaty hell of bouncy castles.
85
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,419
Not to mention being blindfolded...
86
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,879
...and spun toward
a grotesque tailless donkey...
87
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:01,091
...as the other children mocked
my disorientation.
88
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:06,179
Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars
that no non-professional can heal...
89
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:09,224
...but nevertheless, we're gonna
throw Leonard a birthday party.
90
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,435
I'm extremely uncomfortable
with dancing...
91
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:14,855
...loud music and most other forms
of alcohol-induced frivolity.
92
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,025
- Nevertheless...
- In addition...
93
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,652
You either help me
throw Leonard a birthday party...
94
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,487
...or I will go into your bedroom...
95
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,198
...and unbag all
your mint-condition comic books.
96
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:29,995
And on one of them... You won't know
which... I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.
97
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:35,876
You can't do that. If you make a mark
in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
98
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,253
Do you understand
the concept of blackmail?
99
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,255
Well, of course, I... Oh.
100
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,886
Yeah, I have an idea. Let's throw Leonard
a kickass birthday party.
101
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,366
That's not the secret knock.
102
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,036
This is the secret knock:
103
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,957
What difference does it make?
104
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,127
The point of a secret knock
is to establish a nonverbal signal...
105
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:22,005
...to verify the identity
of one's coconspirators.
106
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,509
PENNY: Is that Raj and Howard?
- Possibly, but unverified.
107
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,219
Would you just let us in?
108
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,472
Luckily for you,
this is not a nuclear reactor.
109
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,307
So, what'd you get the birthday boy?
110
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,435
Raj got him an awesome
limited-edition Dark Knight sculpture...
111
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,479
...based on Alex Ross'
definitive Batman.
112
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:41,566
And I got him this amazing autographed
copy of The Feynman Lectures on Physics.
113
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:45,112
Nice. I got him a sweater.
114
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:49,449
Okay, well, he might like that.
I've seen him get chilly.
115
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,620
- Sheldon, I didn't see your present.
- That's because I didn't bring one.
116
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,913
- Why not?
- Don't ask.
117
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,125
The entire institution of gift-giving
makes no sense.
118
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:01,461
- Too late.
- Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you.
119
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,756
It's a laborious activity
because I have to imagine what you need...
120
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,508
...where you know what you need.
121
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,803
I could simplify things,
just give you the $50 directly...
122
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,806
...and then you could give me $50
on my birthday and so on...
123
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:17,102
...until one of us dies,
leaving the other one old and $50 richer.
124
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,398
And I ask you, is it worth it?
125
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,859
Told you not to ask.
126
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:27,696
Well, Sheldon, you're his friend.
Friends give each other presents.
127
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,323
I accept your premise,
I reject your conclusion.
128
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:36,037
Try telling him
it's a non-optional social convention.
129
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,832
- What?
- Just do it.
130
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,876
[PENNY GROANS]
131
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:44,296
It's a non-optional social convention.
132
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,382
Ah, fair enough.
133
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,554
He came with a manual.
134
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,391
Question, how am I going to get Leonard
a present before the party?
135
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,394
I don't drive and the things available
in walking distance...
136
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,396
...are a Thai restaurant
and a gas station.
137
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:05,734
I could wrap up an order of mee krob
and a couple of lottery scratchers.
138
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,404
Okay, let's do this.
I will drive Sheldon to get a present.
139
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,407
- Howard, get rid of Leonard for two hours.
- No problem.
140
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,911
And then, Raj, you bring the stuff
across the hall and start setting up.
141
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,331
- What if guests show up?
- Entertain them.
142
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,459
What if they're women?
143
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:26,004
Stare at them
and make them feel uncomfortable.
144
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,470
[GUNSHOTS ON TV]
145
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,055
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
146
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,600
- Hey.
- Hey.
147
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,144
- How's it going?
- Fine.
148
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:47,442
So listen, the Nuart is showing the revised,
definitive cut of Blade Runner.
149
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,860
- Seen it.
- No.
150
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,738
You've seen
the 25th Anniversary Final Cut.
151
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:55,200
This one has eight seconds
of previously-unseen footage.
152
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,036
They say it completely changes
the tone of the film.
153
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,205
Pass.
154
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:04,918
Come on. Afterwards, there's a Q&A
with Harrison Ford's body double.
155
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,462
Look, I am in the "Halo" battle
of my life here.
156
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,215
There's this kid in Copenhagen,
he has no immune system.
157
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,468
So all he does is sit in his bubble
and play "Halo" 24/7.
158
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,887
Can't you play him some other time?
159
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,723
Not if you believe his doctors.
160
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,354
Oh, my God, do you smell gas?
161
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,315
- No.
- Yeah, no.
162
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,738
PENNY:
You know, they have DVDs over there.
163
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:37,409
Yes, but they have DVD burners
over here.
164
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,495
Leonard needs a DVD burner.
165
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,081
Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be
something someone needs.
166
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,499
It should be something fun.
167
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:49,379
- Something they wouldn't buy for themself.
- You mean, like a sweater?
168
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:55,594
Well, it's a fun sweater.
It's got a bold geometric print.
169
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,930
- Is it the geometry that makes it fun?
- Okay.
170
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,891
The point is, one of the ways
we show we care about people...
171
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:05,687
...is by putting thought and imagination
into the gifts we give them.
172
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:09,899
- Okay, I see, so not a DVD burner.
- Exactly.
173
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:14,029
Something he wouldn't buy for himself,
something fun, something like... Ah!
174
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:17,157
An 802. 11n wireless router.
175
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,287
Here you go, Copenhagen boy.
176
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,123
How about a taste
of Hans Christian hand grenade?
177
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,042
[EXPLOSION ON TV]
178
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,210
[MOUTHING]
179
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,962
LEONARD:
That could not feel good.
180
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,718
Come on, come on. Oh, you clever...
181
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,015
Come on, come on.
182
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,142
Take that.
183
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,270
Uh-oh.
184
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,607
[SHOUTING]
Uh-oh.
185
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,234
- What's the matter?
- This granola bar has peanuts in it.
186
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:56,488
- Oh, my God. Why did you eat it?
- I don't know, it was just there.
187
00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,367
Well, if I had a gun there,
would you have shot yourself?
188
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:01,701
Don't yell at me.
189
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:04,245
- I've gotta go to the emergency room.
- Now?
190
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,499
No, after my tongue has swollen
to the size of a brisket.
191
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,752
All right, just let me get my keys.
192
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,172
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
193
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,675
The laundry is out of the hamper.
194
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:23,098
Okay, Sheldon,
what was it supposed to be?
195
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,309
Fine, it's out of the washer.
196
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,937
I'll call you when it's in the dryer.
197
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,438
All right, let's go.
198
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,607
[CLEARING THROAT]
199
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,033
[PENNY SIGHING]
200
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,370
- What do you think?
- Um, that one.
201
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,373
- Because of the additional Ethernet ports?
- Sure.
202
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,209
He doesn't need them.
He's got a six-port Ethernet switch.
203
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,044
- Oh, okay, then this one.
- Why?
204
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:56,339
I don't know.
The man on the box looks so happy.
205
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,884
Penny, if I'm going to buy Leonard a gift,
I'm going to do it right.
206
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:03,138
I refuse to let him experience
the same childhood trauma I did.
207
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,808
I know I'm gonna regret this,
but what trauma?
208
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,730
On my 12th birthday,
I really wanted a titanium centrifuge...
209
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,733
...so, you know,
I could separate radioactive isotopes.
210
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,025
Of course, yeah.
211
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:20,196
Instead of a titanium centrifuge,
my parents bought me...
212
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,823
Wow, this is hard.
213
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,619
They got me a motorized dirt bike.
214
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:29,414
No.
215
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,585
What 12-year-old boy
wants a motorized dirt bike?
216
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,754
All of them.
217
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,422
- Really?
- Yeah.
218
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,258
Huh.
219
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,969
- So we're getting this one?
- Yeah, I suppose.
220
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,846
All right, let's go.
221
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,766
Excuse me,
do you know anything about this stuff?
222
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,143
I know everything about this stuff.
223
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,937
Okay, I have my own
wholesale flower business.
224
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,106
I wanna hook up my computer
in the front...
225
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,275
...with the one
in my refrigerated warehouse.
226
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,861
Buy this one, it's the one we're getting.
Happy guy.
227
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,237
No, she doesn't want that.
228
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:05,617
She needs a point-to-point peer network
with a range extender.
229
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,328
- Thank you.
- Which hard drive do I want?
230
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:12,791
- FireWire or USB?
- It depends on what bus you have available.
231
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,547
I drive a Chevy Cavalier.
232
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,008
Oh, dear Lord.
233
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,677
- We have to go.
- Not now, this poor man needs me.
234
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,888
You, hold on, I'll be right with you.
235
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:31,226
What computer do you have,
and please don't say a white one.
236
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,900
- Excuse me.
- Fill this out and have a seat.
237
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,361
We're throwing
my friend a surprise party...
238
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,863
...and I'm supposed to keep him out
for two hours.
239
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,157
Uh-huh. Fill this out and have a seat.
240
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:49,118
The way I could get him
to leave was tell him I ate a peanut.
241
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,995
I'm allergic to peanuts.
242
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:54,415
Well, in that case,
fill this out and have a seat.
243
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,710
All I need from you
is to give me a BAND-AID.
244
00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,379
I can pretend I had epinephrine.
245
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,549
Tell my friend you need to keep me
under observation for an hour.
246
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,008
- Is that all you need?
- Yes.
247
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,760
Get out of my ER.
248
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,429
- No, you don't understand.
- I understand.
249
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:12,350
But unfortunately, this hospital
is not equipped to treat stupid.
250
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,271
Okay, I get it.
I know how the world works.
251
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:22,277
How about if I were to introduce you
to the man who freed your people?
252
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,533
Unless my people were freed
by Benjamin Franklin...
253
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,452
...and his five twin brothers,
you are wasting your time.
254
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,624
Hey. Sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot.
How are you doing?
255
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,126
Bad, very bad.
256
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,461
Really? You don't look
like you're swelling up.
257
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,298
We should pick up Benadryl
at the drugstore and go home.
258
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:44,924
- We can't go home.
- Why not?
259
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:49,304
Because... Phbbtt!
260
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,639
Brisket. Brisket.
261
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,434
- Water, need water.
- I'll be right back.
262
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,603
[CLEARING THROAT]
263
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:03,151
- Penny, listen, I've got a problem.
- Yeah, well, so do I.
264
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,112
- You gotta stall Leonard longer.
- I don't think I can.
265
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,740
You have to.
We all have to be there to yell "surprise."
266
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,993
You have to understand something.
We're in a hospital right now.
267
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,244
Why? Is Leonard okay?
268
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,956
Leonard's fine. I'm fine,
thanks for asking, by the way.
269
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,335
Okay, I don't need your attitude.
Just hold him there a little longer.
270
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:24,339
I've done my best, but he wants to go home
and I don't know how to stop him.
271
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:25,506
Okay, how about this?
272
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,884
Keep him longer,
when you get to the party...
273
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,637
...I'll point out which of my friends
are easy.
274
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:42,190
Don't toy with me, woman.
275
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,526
I got a former fat girl
with no self-esteem.
276
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,946
A girl who punishes her father
by sleeping around.
277
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,866
An alcoholic who's two tequila shots
away from letting you wear her like a hat.
278
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,453
Thy will be done.
279
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,216
I'm doing this for you, little buddy.
280
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:17,100
Okay, we don't have that in stock...
281
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,561
...but I can special-order it for you.
282
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,313
Him.
283
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,149
Excuse me, sir, you don't work here.
284
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,444
Yes, well, apparently,
neither does anyone else.
285
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,990
- Sheldon, we have to go.
- Why?
286
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,117
We're late for Leonard's birthday party...
287
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,828
...and for another,
I told him to call security.
288
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,039
Good luck.
289
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,085
By the way, a 6-year-old
could hack your computer.
290
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,294
Keep walking.
291
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,464
Yeah, 1234 is not a secure password.
292
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,386
My friend
is having allergic reaction to peanuts.
293
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,930
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
294
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,433
Look, sir, we are very busy here
and I just don't...
295
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,518
Holy crap.
296
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,980
Please help me.
297
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,024
Code four. I need a gurney.
298
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:10,236
- Right away, right away.
- Thank you.
299
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,284
Say what you will
about healthcare in this country...
300
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:20,121
...but when they're afraid of lawsuits,
they sure test everything.
301
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:24,208
HOWARD: I really don't think
the colonoscopy was necessary.
302
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,462
Before you got all swollen up...
303
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:30,465
...I thought you're trying to keep me out
of the apartment...
304
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,717
...so you could throw me
a surprise party.
305
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,552
Oh, right, it's your birthday.
306
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,929
I had no idea it was your birthday.
I forgot.
307
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,725
What a lousy way to spend a birthday.
Well, it's all over now.
308
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,730
There is a party, isn't there?
309
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,608
Maybe.
310
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,109
Howard.
311
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,322
- Are you mad?
- How could I be mad?
312
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:58,076
You actually risked your life
because you care about me.
313
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:01,913
Yeah, that's why I did it.
314
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,293
All right, here we go.
315
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,922
My first birthday party.
316
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,924
[SINGING CYNDI LAUPER'S
"TRUE COLORS"]
317
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,467
I see your true colors
318
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,554
And that's why I love you
319
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,601
Dude, everybody left an hour ago.
320
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,939
Surprise.
321
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,238
[ON PHONE]
Okay, Leonard...
322
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,864
...here I am at your birthday party.
323
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,618
I don't know where you are, dude,
but it's really kickass.
324
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:44,831
Everyone is very, very drunk and...
Ooh, mmm.
325
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,544
Oh, and look,
there's a girl taking her shirt off.
326
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,421
That's my friend Carol.
327
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,550
Remind me,
I gotta introduce her to Howard.
328
00:18:55,717 --> 00:19:00,263
RAJESH: Oh, sweet Krishna,
shake that rupee maker.
329
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:06,269
- I'm so sorry you didn't get your party.
- It's okay.
330
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,939
Well, happy birthday anyways.
331
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:20,658
Hey, Penny, when's your birthday?
332
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,936
[English - US - SDH]
27631
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