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1
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,967
Here's the problem with teleportation.
2
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,638
Lay it on me.
3
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,598
Assuming a device could be invented...
4
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:20,436
...which would identify the state of matter
of an individual in one location...
5
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,439
...and transmit that to a distant location
for reassembly...
6
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,858
...you wouldn't have
transported the individual...
7
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:31,155
...you would have destroyed him in one
location and re-created him in another.
8
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,366
How about that.
9
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,785
I would never use a transporter.
10
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,621
The original Sheldon
would have to be disintegrated...
11
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,541
...in order to create a new Sheldon.
12
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:47,087
Would the new Sheldon be in any way
an improvement on the old Sheldon?
13
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,299
No, he would be exactly the same.
14
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,342
That is a problem.
15
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,761
So you see it too?
16
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,847
Dr. Hofstadter, Dr. Cooper.
17
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,223
BOTH:
Dr. Gablehauser.
18
00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:00,768
Gentlemen,
I'd like you to meet Dennis Kim.
19
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,771
Dennis is a highly sought-after
doctoral candidate.
20
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,065
We're hoping to have him
do graduate work here.
21
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:09,485
- Graduate work, very impressive.
- And he's only 15 years old.
22
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:13,530
Not bad.
I myself started graduate school at 14.
23
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:17,201
Well, I lost a year while my family
was tunneling out of North Korea.
24
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,372
Advantage, Kim.
25
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,000
I thought maybe you
could show Dennis around.
26
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:28,504
Let him see why we're the best
physics research facility in the country.
27
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:29,713
I know you're not.
28
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:33,217
You don't have an Open Science Grid
computer or a free electron laser.
29
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,969
The string theory research
being done is a dead end.
30
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,848
Excuse me, that is my research,
and it is by no means a dead end.
31
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:43,060
Well, obviously, you don't see it yet,
but trust me, you will.
32
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,439
Dennis, we've discussed this.
33
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,983
We're in the process
of updating our equipment.
34
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:52,319
We welcome your input
on our research goals.
35
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,030
We agree to look the other way
if you use 20 percent...
36
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:58,575
...of the money you attract to smuggle
your grandfather out of Pyongyang.
37
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,371
We want him here, boys.
38
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,039
- Make it happen.
- Yes, sir.
39
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,041
You can count on us. We're on it.
40
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,502
What the hell do you mean, "dead end"?
41
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,880
I mean, the whole landscape
of false vacuums in string theory...
42
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,383
...could be as large
as 10 to the 500th power.
43
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,551
In addition...
44
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,094
Ooh, look, chocolate milk.
45
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,016
I sense a disturbance in the force.
46
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:26,478
[IMITATING YODA]
A bad feeling I have about this. Mm.
47
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,589
So how long have you been in America?
48
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,215
- A year and a half.
- No kidding.
49
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,594
- You speak English really well.
- So do you.
50
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:03,432
Except for your tendency
to end sentences with prepositions.
51
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,976
What are you talking about?
52
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,021
That.
53
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,689
He's not wrong.
54
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,984
All right, and this is my office.
55
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,570
- Is this part of the tour?
- Nope. Goodbye.
56
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,698
Sheldon,
we've hardly shown him anything.
57
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,493
All right, this is my desk.
These are my books.
58
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,455
This is my door.
Please close it behind you, goodbye.
59
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,959
You're doing work
in quantum loop corrections.
60
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:35,631
- Keen observation, goodbye.
- You see where you went wrong, don't you?
61
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:37,966
- Leonard.
- Ha.
62
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,969
- Yeah?
- Get him out.
63
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,848
Come, I'll show you the rec center.
They've got Nautilus equipment.
64
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,808
Do I look like I lift weights?
65
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,395
Not heavy ones.
66
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,441
It's startling you haven't considered
a Lorentz invariant or field theory approach.
67
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,985
You think I haven't considered it?
68
00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:00,405
- You really think I haven't considered it?
- Have you considered it?
69
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,201
- Get him out, Leonard.
- Come on, Dennis.
70
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,162
I'll show you the radiation lab.
71
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,623
Wow. You won the Stevenson Award?
72
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:13,877
Yes. In fact,
I am the youngest person ever to win it.
73
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,380
Really? How old?
74
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:17,881
Fourteen and a half.
75
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,175
Mm. You were the youngest
ever to win it.
76
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,473
It's like looking
into an obnoxious mirror, isn't it?
77
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:34,439
Mm. This is really delicious, isn't it?
78
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,821
Still can't talk to me
unless you're drunk, huh?
79
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,951
Oh, sweetie, you are so damaged.
80
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,579
Hey, I'm damaged too.
81
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,124
How about a hug for Howie?
82
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,502
Sure. Raj, hug Howard.
83
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,463
[SHELDON SIGHS]
84
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,216
Something you'd like to share?
85
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,636
A tale of woe perhaps?
86
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,471
Fifteen years old.
87
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:10,475
Dennis Kim is 15 years old
and he's already correcting my work.
88
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,521
Today, I went from being
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to...
89
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,106
You know, that other guy.
90
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,399
Antonio Salieri?
91
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,902
Oh, God,
now even you're smarter than me.
92
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:26,491
You know, you don't have so many friends
that you can afford to start insulting them.
93
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,494
Just eat, Sheldon. You'll feel better.
94
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:30,912
Why waste food?
95
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,457
When a cow goes dry,
they don't keep feeding it...
96
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,960
...they just take her out
and shoot her between the eyes.
97
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:41,173
I'm confused.
Did Sheldon stop giving milk?
98
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,633
You can't let this kid get to you.
99
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:47,262
You knew that someday, someone would
come along who's younger and smarter.
100
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,098
Yes, but I assumed
I would've been dead hundreds of years.
101
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:53,810
And that there'd be an asterisk by his name
because he'd be a cyborg.
102
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:58,482
So you got a little competition.
I really don't see what the big deal is.
103
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:02,778
Of course you don't.
You've never excelled at anything.
104
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,491
I don't understand, exactly how did
he get any friends in the first place?
105
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,619
We liked Leonard.
106
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,122
What are you gonna do, just give up?
107
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:19,378
Yes, it's what a rational person does
when his entire life's work is invalidated...
108
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,339
...by a postpubescent Asian wunderkind.
109
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:27,469
He ceases his fruitless efforts,
he donates his body to scientific research...
110
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,180
...and he waits to die.
111
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:36,228
I'm confused again. Is he waiting, or do
we get to shoot him between the eyes?
112
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:40,649
- Hey.
- Hey.
113
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,192
I've decided you're right.
114
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,528
- My career is not over.
- Great.
115
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,739
But since Dennis Kim
has rendered my research pointless...
116
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,367
...I just have to find
something else to focus on.
117
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,701
Great.
118
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,496
So I've decided
I'm going to collaborate with you.
119
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,209
Great.
120
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,211
So, what exactly is it you do?
121
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:06,299
I know you chatter on about it all the time,
but I've never really paid attention.
122
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:10,220
Right now, I'm designing an experiment
to study the soft component...
123
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,140
...of cosmic radiation at sea level,
but I don't need help.
124
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,350
Oh, sure you do.
125
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,478
Now see, what's this here in the schematic,
a laser array?
126
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,355
- Yes.
- Now, hmm...
127
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,736
What happens if you use argon lasers
instead of helium-neon?
128
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,239
- It would blow up.
- Are you sure?
129
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,242
- Pretty sure.
- "Pretty sure" is not very scientific.
130
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:36,204
Is this how you normally work?
Just hunches and guesses and stuff?
131
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,206
Okay.
132
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:41,418
I understand that you're going
through a bit of a career crisis.
133
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:45,422
You're searching for some other area
where you can feel valuable and productive.
134
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,133
But I need to tell you something,
and listen carefully.
135
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,595
- All right.
- Go away.
136
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:58,727
If you're concerned about sharing credit
with me, your name can go first... I'm going.
137
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,941
It's a small brown paper bag, Ma.
138
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:08,069
I'm looking at it right now.
139
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:12,908
Why would I make that up?
There's no Ding Dong in it.
140
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:18,955
How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow
gonna help me today?
141
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,502
So this is Engineering, huh?
142
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,795
I'll talk to you later.
143
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,715
Engineering,
where the noble semiskilled laborers...
144
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,760
...execute the vision
of those who think and dream.
145
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,013
Hello, Oompa Loompas of science.
146
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,392
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
147
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,811
I just came by to say hello.
148
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,648
For three years,
you've never come by to say hello.
149
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,317
Well, up until now,
I've had better things to do.
150
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,403
So, what are we making today?
151
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:54,783
A small payload support structure for
a European science experimental package...
152
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,495
- ...that's going up on the next space shuttle.
- Really? How does it work?
153
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,789
It will be attached to the payload bay...
154
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:04,543
...and the sensor apparatus will rest on it.
155
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,169
Aha.
156
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,130
So it's a shelf.
157
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,301
No, you don't understand.
158
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,763
During acceleration, it needs
to stay perfectly level and provide...
159
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,348
Yeah, okay, it's a shelf.
160
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,642
I notice you're using titanium.
161
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,144
Did you give any consideration
to carbon nanotubes?
162
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:26,273
They're lighter, cheaper
and have twice the tensile strength.
163
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:32,028
Sheldon, there's a diploma in my office
that says I have a master's in engineering.
164
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:36,032
And you also have a note from your mother
that says, "I love you, Bubula."
165
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:41,705
But neither of those is a cogent argument
for titanium over nanotubes.
166
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,707
- Sheldon.
- Yes?
167
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,042
Go away.
168
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,211
Did Leonard tell you to say that?
169
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,547
No, I thought of it all by myself.
170
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:55,594
Huh? Can't be a coincidence.
171
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:59,222
There must be some causal link
I'm missing.
172
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,603
Go away.
173
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:15,071
SHELDON:
Curiouser and curiouser.
174
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:22,579
- Is he here?
- If he were, I wouldn't be.
175
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,040
You know what he did?
He watched me work...
176
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:29,711
...and then started to design a simple piece
of software that could replace me.
177
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,130
Is that even possible?
178
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,174
As it turns out, yes.
179
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,470
- Something's gotta be done about him.
- Like what?
180
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,890
He'll never cope with the fact
that some 15-year-old is smarter...
181
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,767
...and more accomplished than he is.
182
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:48,563
What if something were to happen to him
so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon?
183
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,567
Then our problem would be solved.
184
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:55,945
Hang on, are we talking about
murdering Dennis Kim?
185
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,115
I'm not saying no.
186
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,452
We don't have to go that far.
There are other means.
187
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,455
We can't send him back to North Korea.
188
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,873
He knows how to get out.
189
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,712
The only thing we need to do
is make this Kim kid lose his focus.
190
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,757
It won't happen. He is not interested
in anything but physics.
191
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,634
- What about biology?
- What?
192
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,804
You know, biology.
193
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:23,890
The one thing that can completely derail
a world-class mind.
194
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,101
- Howard, he's 15.
- Yeah, so?
195
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,061
When I was 15, I met Denise Palmeri...
196
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:32,315
...and my grade point average
fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.
197
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,775
She was sleeping with you?
198
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:38,863
No, I just wasted a lot of time thinking
about what it would be like if she did.
199
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,616
Oh, good, you're all here.
200
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:46,079
I've decided that if the three of you drop
whatever you're working on and join me...
201
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:50,792
...we could lick cold fusion
in less than a decade, 12 years tops.
202
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,003
Go away?
203
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,674
Hmm.
204
00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,259
Could it be me?
205
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:04,514
Hey, guys, what's up?
206
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:08,143
We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl
with a thing for smart guys.
207
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,687
- What?
- Howard, that's racist.
208
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,524
Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick.
209
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:23,324
It's possible
she may have misunderstood us.
210
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,663
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
211
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,167
- Dr. Cooper. Oh, are we interrupting?
- No, no, please come in.
212
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,836
I think you'll appreciate this.
This is very exciting.
213
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,172
- What are you working on?
- Something remarkable.
214
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:41,676
Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize
in Physics have disappeared... Thank you.
215
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:45,263
...I've decided to refocus my efforts
and use my people skills...
216
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,931
...to win the Nobel Peace Prize.
217
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,559
Look, I'm going
to solve the Middle East crisis...
218
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:54,564
...by building an exact replica of Jerusalem
in the middle of the Mexican desert.
219
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,232
To what end?
220
00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,820
You know, it's like the baseball movie.
"Build it and they will come."
221
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,614
Who will come?
222
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,657
The Jewish people.
223
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,075
What if they don't come?
224
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,077
We'll make it nice, put out a spread.
225
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,456
Okay, well, speaking of spreads...
226
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,542
...we're having a welcoming party
this afternoon for Mr. Kim...
227
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,588
- ...who's agreed to join us at the university.
- Of course he has.
228
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,801
The oracle told us little Neo was the one.
229
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,637
You can see the matrix, can't you?
230
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:30,558
Okay, well, obviously, you're very busy
with your, ah, um...
231
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:31,768
Come, Dennis.
232
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:37,524
You'll have to excuse Dr. Cooper.
He's been under a lot of, um...
233
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,859
He's nuts.
234
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,071
[SHELDON HUMMING "CIELITO LINDO"]
235
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,448
[SINGING IN HEBREW]
236
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:49,577
They'll come, they'll settle
And I'll win the prize
237
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,998
I don't understand your objections,
Professor Goldfarb.
238
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,794
Why wouldn't the Sonora Desert
make a perfectly good Promised Land?
239
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,088
Go away.
240
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,050
We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.
241
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,386
Please go away.
242
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:09,639
Said Pharaoh to Moses.
243
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,892
Why are all these young women here?
244
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,894
It's Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
245
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,980
Really? I was not aware of that.
246
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,440
Oh, yes.
There was a very official e-mail...
247
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,235
...that was sent to everyone
whose files indicated...
248
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,238
...they had daughters
between the ages of 14 and 16.
249
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,614
Hmm.
250
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,825
- Smooth.
- Thank you.
251
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,121
There's the man of the hour.
252
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:38,126
So we have a socially awkward genius in
a room of attractive age-appropriate women.
253
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,044
All he has to do is hook up with one.
254
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:52,348
Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
255
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,267
We need a social catalyst.
256
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:58,313
Like what?
We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
257
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,440
- Or can we?
- No, we can't.
258
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,485
I don't think you mean we can't.
I think you mean we shouldn't.
259
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,322
Hey, Howard, you're a Jew.
260
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,700
If there was another Wailing Wall
exactly like the one in Jerusalem...
261
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,578
...but close to taco stands
and cheap prescription drugs...
262
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,413
...would you still wail at it?
263
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,834
Okay, it's definitely me.
264
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,505
We cannot leave this to chance.
Let's pick a girl...
265
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,883
...and figure out
how to get her with Dennis.
266
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:28,885
How about that one?
267
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,806
Uh-uh. I know the type. Cheerleader,
student council, goes out with jocks.
268
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:36,142
Won't look at anybody
in the gifted program.
269
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,020
If she does agree to go out,
it turns out to be a setup.
270
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:43,066
You're in your mom's car with your pants off
while the whole football team laughs.
271
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:50,073
- Are you crying?
- No, I have allergies.
272
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,408
Okay. Uh...
273
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,619
Oh, hey, how about her?
274
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,039
Sure, if he wants to spend years
doing her homework...
275
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,417
...while she drinks herself into a stupor
with nonfat White Russians.
276
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,003
And you're holding her head
while she's puking...
277
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,381
...and wishes more guys were like you.
278
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,883
She gets into Cornell,
because you wrote her essay.
279
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:13,262
And you drive up to visit her one weekend
and she acts like she doesn't know you.
280
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,600
Okay, so not her either.
281
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,645
How about her?
282
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,691
Interesting, kind of pretty, a little chubby,
so probably low self-esteem.
283
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:25,942
I think that's our girl.
284
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,735
One of us should go talk to her.
285
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,696
I can't talk to her, you do it.
286
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:31,823
I can't just go up and talk to her.
287
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,157
Howard, you talk to her.
288
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:37,704
I don't know, she'll never go for the kid
once she gets a peek at this.
289
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,457
In India, this would be simpler.
290
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,836
Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats
and a laptop, and we'd be done.
291
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,713
Well, we're not in India.
292
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,631
Why don't we do it your way, then?
293
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:54,178
We'll arrange for her to move in across the
hall so he can pathetically moon over her.
294
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,433
- Okay, that was uncalled for.
- You started it, dude.
295
00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,809
[GLASS CLINKING]
296
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,145
Could I have everyone's attention,
please?
297
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:06,190
What a wonderful occasion this is.
298
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,736
And how fortunate that it should
fall on Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
299
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:15,241
We're here to welcome Mr. Dennis Kim
to our little family.
300
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,660
Welcome, Dennis Kim.
301
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:22,457
Mr. Kim was not only the valedictorian
at Stanford University...
302
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:27,962
...he is also the youngest recipient
of the prestigious Stevenson Award.
303
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,506
Youngest till the cyborgs rise up.
304
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,301
And now, without any further ado...
305
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:39,098
...let me introduce the man of the hour,
Mr. Dennis Kim.
306
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,144
Dennis? Dennis.
307
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,480
What?
308
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,941
Would you like to tell us
about your upcoming research?
309
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:52,320
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm going to the mall with Emma.
310
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,952
The kid got a girl.
311
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,080
Unbelievable.
312
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:05,750
Did anyone see how he did it?
313
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:07,919
Don't worry, I've got this.
314
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:12,048
Ladies and gentlemen,
honored daughters...
315
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,384
...while Mr. Kim,
by virtue of his youth and naiveté...
316
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:18,846
...has fallen prey to the inexplicable need
for human contact...
317
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:22,850
...let me step in and assure you
that my research will go on uninterrupted.
318
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:28,147
And that social relationships
will continue to baffle and repulse me.
319
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:29,899
Thank you.
320
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:31,901
[CLAPPING]
321
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,904
- He's back.
- Yeah, mission accomplished.
322
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,324
Forget the mission. How did that
little yutz get a girl on his own?
323
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,244
I guess times have changed
since we were young.
324
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,538
Smart is the new sexy.
325
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:47,291
Then why do we go home alone
every night? We're still smart.
326
00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:49,377
Maybe we're too smart.
327
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,337
So smart, it's off-putting.
328
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,174
Yeah, let's go with that.
329
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,138
Unbelievable.
330
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,890
Components I built
are on the space station...
331
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,810
...and I get a ticket
for launching a rocket in the park.
332
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:09,897
I don't know if the ticket was so much for
the launch as for telling the policewoman:
333
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:13,359
"You have to frisk me.
I have another rocket in my pants."
334
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,528
Hey, look at that.
335
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,323
It's Dennis Kim.
336
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,909
Wow, I almost didn't recognize him.
337
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,078
I kind of feel bad
about what we did to him.
338
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,419
Yeah, we really ruined his life.
339
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:35,256
Screw him, he was weak.
340
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,871
[English - US - SDH]
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