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1
00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,462
Oh, my God, I love this chicken.
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:10,426
Oh, you know what they say,
"The best things in life are free."
3
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,095
You're right. I eat your food a lot.
How about this?
4
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,264
You can raid my fridge
any time you want.
5
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:16,807
Oh, that's very kind of you.
6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,060
Next time I have a hankering
to wash down a D-cell battery...
7
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,147
...with a jar of old pickle juice,
I'll come a-knocking.
8
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,151
Hey, Raj, you didn't send your RSVP in.
9
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,820
I'm supposed to ask you
if you're bringing someone.
10
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,113
I'll let you know.
11
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,991
Could you make it soon?
There's a battle over seating.
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,203
In one corner, Bernadette's mom.
In the other three, mine.
13
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,999
Yeah, I hate wedding receptions.
I wish the bride and groom...
14
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,001
...would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins.
15
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:47,129
Slip on the ring, disappear,
and everyone goes home.
16
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,965
Oh, you liked Professor Geyser's wedding.
17
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,468
They had a make-your-own-sundae bar.
18
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,845
Oh, that was a night to remember.
19
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,974
Do you know, on one trip,
I just had a bowl of nuts.
20
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,061
Anyway, you gotta let me know
if you have a plus-one.
21
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,563
If not, my mom's trying
to sneak in the doctor...
22
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,648
...who sucked the fat out of her neck.
23
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:11,737
All right, uh, fine.
24
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,906
I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody.
25
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,449
Koothrappali plus one.
26
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:18,494
- Who are you bringing?
- Who are you bringing?
27
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,746
He's bringing me. Who are you bringing?
28
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,416
Wow, what a bunch of Nosey O'Donnells.
29
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,752
Come on, who is it?
30
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:30,798
I'm not telling. I'm from Asia.
I'm mysterious. Deal with it.
31
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,593
Howard, are you having
a make-your-own-sundae bar?
32
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,512
Uh, I don't think so.
33
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,556
Well, you should.
Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.
34
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,268
But 100 percent of make-your-own-sundae
bars end in happiness.
35
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:11,547
(BEEPS)
36
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:15,759
- Hello, Mommy, Daddy. How are you?
- Pretty good, can't complain.
37
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,096
Oh, I'm sure you can.
Just give it a minute.
38
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,306
Listen, uh...
39
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,308
There's something I want
to talk to you about.
40
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:27,479
I wasn't ready until now
but I think it's time.
41
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,897
It's finally happening.
42
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,400
You're coming out of the closet,
aren't you?
43
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,487
We love you
and we accept your alternate lifestyle.
44
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,782
Just keep it to yourself.
45
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,368
No, I'm not gay.
46
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,621
If anything, I'm metrosexual.
47
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,331
What's that?
48
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,835
It means I like women
as well as their skin-care products.
49
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,920
Well, if you're not coming out...
50
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,423
...why did you call us
during the cricket semi-finals?
51
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:58,510
I'm tired of trying to meet someone...
52
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,513
...and I think I'd like you
to help me find a...
53
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,056
A wife.
54
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,894
And just to clarify, a female wife?
55
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,313
Yes!
56
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,107
Matchmaking. Very smart move, son.
57
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,110
Much better than marrying for love.
58
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,534
We married for love.
59
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,287
And it's been wonderful.
60
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,543
Quantum physics makes me so happy.
61
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,420
Yeah? I'm glad.
62
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,839
It's like looking at the universe naked.
63
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,885
(MOANS)
64
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,431
(KNOCKING)
65
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,059
- Hi. Guys got a minute?
- Sure, what's up?
66
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,187
I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke
the other night...
67
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,649
- ...about me eating all your food.
- Oh, that was no joke.
68
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,904
But I understand your confusion
as I am our group's resident cutup.
69
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,574
I'm sorry, you are our resident cutup?
70
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:04,910
Yes.
71
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,955
- Prove it.
- Knock-knock.
72
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,623
- Who's there?
- Interrupting physicist.
73
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,292
- Interrupting phys...
- Muon. Ha, ha.
74
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,173
Anyway, I got a little residual check
from my commercial.
75
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,344
And I thought, "How about I get the guys
a little thank-you to pay them back?"
76
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:25,055
So, Sheldon... Ta-da.
77
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,306
(GASPS)
78
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,602
A vintage, mint-in-box 1975
Mego Star Trek Transporter...
79
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,022
...with real transporter action. Hot darn!
80
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,151
- Where did you get that?
- From Stuart at the comic-book store.
81
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,654
You went to the comic-book store
by yourself?
82
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,489
Yeah. It was fun.
83
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,076
I walked in and two different guys
got asthma attacks.
84
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,288
Felt pretty good.
85
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,790
Well, this calls for an expression
of gratitude.
86
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,626
Ooh, am I about to get
a rare Sheldon Cooper hug?
87
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,962
No, not this time.
Then they wouldn't be special.
88
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,214
Click. Thanks, Penny.
89
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,925
You're welcome.
90
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,886
Don't worry, I didn't forget about you.
91
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:08,849
Leonard, I got you a label-maker.
92
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,482
Wow.
93
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,401
No, it's great.
94
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:22,446
- Also, uh, mint-in-box.
- Mm.
95
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:27,075
- And I got you a Transporter too!
- Awesome!
96
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:33,707
Look, it was actually designed
for my vintage Mr. Spock action figure.
97
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,917
Oh, that's great.
Open it and put him in there.
98
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,878
- Open it?
- No, good Lord, no.
99
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,172
Why? They're just toys.
100
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,341
- Collectibles.
- They're mint-in-box.
101
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,134
Can't we open one up and take a look?
102
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,178
- Aah!
- No, don't!
103
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:49,473
Once you open the box, it loses its value.
104
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:53,727
Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me
the same lecture about my virginity.
105
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,232
Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun
taking it out and playing with it.
106
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:04,529
You sure you want us here
when you meet this woman?
107
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:08,867
Oh, yes. In my culture, it's expected to
have a chaperone to oversee a first date.
108
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,204
I want to make a good impression.
No offense, but with you here...
109
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,581
...I look like I'm 6'2".
110
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,378
The nuns always chaperoned
the dances at my high school.
111
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,172
They used to make us leave room
between us for the Holy Spirit.
112
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,423
RAJESH:
Hmm.
113
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,969
Hindus do the same thing.
Except they leave room for a cow. Ha, ha.
114
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,889
Listen, I love your charming
racist humor.
115
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,934
But any chance you could not mock
my religion while she's here?
116
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:38,230
- You made fun of me for eating lox.
- Your people don't worship lox.
117
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,982
Clearly you've never been to brunch
with my cousins.
118
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,277
So arranged marriages,
the parents just decide...
119
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,821
...and then you get married?
120
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:49,741
Oh, no, no. I get a say in it. I'm sure
whoever shows up will be better company...
121
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,703
...than the threesome I've been having
with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth.
122
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,457
Excuse me, are you Rajesh?
123
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,960
Oh, yes. You must be Lakshmi.
124
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,170
- Uh, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.
125
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,465
Oh, uh, these are my friends.
Uh, this is Bernadette.
126
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,008
- Hello.
- Uh, and this is Howard.
127
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,552
HOWARD: Nice to meet you.
- You too.
128
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,720
Please, have a seat.
129
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,140
(SINGSONG)
I'm thinking double wedding.
130
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,272
SPOCK:
Dr. Cooper.
131
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,734
Dr. Cooper?
132
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,279
Is someone there?
133
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,364
Down here. On your desk.
134
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,789
- Spock?
- I need to speak with you.
135
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,293
Fascinating.
136
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,796
The only logical explanation
is that this is a dream.
137
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,549
It is not the only logical explanation.
138
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,926
For example,
you could be hallucinating...
139
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,598
...after being hit on the head by,
say, a coconut.
140
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,393
Was I hit on the head by a coconut?
141
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:02,022
I am not going to dignify that
with a response.
142
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,357
Now to the matter at hand.
143
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,319
You need to play with the Transporter toy.
144
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,988
- But it's mint-in-box.
- Yes.
145
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,491
And to open it would destroy its value.
146
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,035
But remember, like me...
147
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,037
...you also have a human half.
148
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,957
Well, I'm not going to dignify that
with a response.
149
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,335
Consider this.
150
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,838
- What is the purpose of a toy?
- To be played with.
151
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,674
Therefore, to not play with it would be...?
152
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:33,845
Illogical. Oh, damn it, Spock,
you're right.
153
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,264
I'll do it.
154
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,475
Sheldon, wait.
155
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,186
You have to wake up first.
156
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,271
Oh, of course.
157
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,441
Set phasers to "Dumb," right? Ha, ha.
158
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,110
Goodie, goodie, goodie.
159
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:56,076
This is wrong, this is wrong.
I'm so excited, but this is wrong.
160
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,455
I'm gonna do it.
161
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,457
I'm doing it.
162
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,334
I did it.
163
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:07,504
(SNIFFS)
164
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,797
Oh.
165
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,341
That's what I always thought
1975 smelled like.
166
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,931
One to beam down, Mr. Scott.
167
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,183
Aye, aye, Mr. Spock.
168
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,477
Energize.
169
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,479
Aah.
170
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,816
Energize.
171
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,079
Don't be broken.
172
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,040
Oh. Please, don't be broken.
173
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,252
What did you make me do?
174
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,257
Okay, okay. Think.
175
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,473
It's only logical.
176
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,730
My goodness, that was delicious.
177
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:11,234
Well, I hope you saved room
for chocolate lava cake.
178
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,652
Impressive.
179
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,946
What goes into making something
like that?
180
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,949
Well, you start out by trying
to make chocolate soufflé.
181
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,659
And when it falls, you panic...
182
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,370
...quickly change the name,
and voilĂ , lava cake.
183
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,833
I bet our parents are dying to know
how things are going here.
184
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,502
Well, let's see.
185
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,005
Yep, three missed calls.
186
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:35,133
Four missed calls, two text messages,
and a failed video chat.
187
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,469
- I win.
- Ha, ha.
188
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:40,221
So, what are we going to tell them?
189
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,975
- I'd like to tell them things are going well.
- Me too.
190
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,810
But before we get their hopes up...
191
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,855
...we should probably make sure
we're on the same page.
192
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,357
Okay.
193
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,859
What page are you on?
194
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,655
I'm on the one where I'm under
a lot of pressure from my parents...
195
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,574
...to get married and settle down
and have a family.
196
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,119
And I'm going to do it
so they don't find out I'm gay.
197
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,332
Say again?
198
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:08,708
I'm gay.
199
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,669
Like...
200
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,588
Dude-on-dude, but with women?
201
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,841
I know a fake marriage
isn't an honest way to live...
202
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,512
...but you, of all people, should know
how difficult it is to come out.
203
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,348
Why me "of all people"?
204
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,184
Well, there's a rumor
back in New Delhi that you're...
205
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,519
How shall we say?
206
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,896
...comfortable in a sari.
207
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,024
- I'm not gay.
- Really?
208
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,985
The chocolate lava cake,
the little soaps in the bathroom.
209
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,030
And I'm sorry, but you're wearing
more perfume than I am.
210
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,492
That's Unbreakable by Khloe and Lamar.
211
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,079
And for your information, it's unisex.
212
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,041
Fill in the blank: "I love the nightlife..."
213
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,085
- I like to boogie.
- Got you.
214
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:55,672
With women. I like to boogie with women.
215
00:11:56,632 --> 00:12:00,260
That's disappointing. You were exactly
the kind of phony-baloney husband...
216
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,928
...I was looking for.
217
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,972
Thank you.
218
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,267
And once again, my baloney likes girls.
219
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,147
Wait, wait. You don't wanna put
a bite of that in your mouth...
220
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,483
...without trying
my homemade Chantilly cream.
221
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,111
Yeah, okay, that time I heard it.
222
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,535
(GRUNTING)
223
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,835
Oh, dear.
224
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:38,131
Two suns and no sunscreen.
225
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,637
Hello again, Sheldon.
226
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,266
What is it now, Tiny Spock?
227
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,393
I am very disappointed in you.
228
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,062
You broke your toy
and switched it with Leonard's.
229
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,398
You should be ashamed of yourself.
230
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,609
You're the one who told me
to play with it.
231
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,946
If I told you to jump off the bridge
of the Enterprise, would you do it?
232
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,198
No.
233
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:07,452
If I got on the bridge of the Enterprise,
I would never ever leave.
234
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:11,331
Trust me, it gets old after a while.
235
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,959
You must right your wrong, Sheldon.
236
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,670
Why? I got away with it.
237
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,799
Leonard has his toy,
and he's never going to open it.
238
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:24,511
So he won't know it's broken.
And I have a toy that isn't broken.
239
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,970
Everybody's happy.
240
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,764
Well, I am unhappy.
241
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,725
I thought where you come from
they don't have emotions.
242
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,021
I come from a factory in Taiwan.
243
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,690
Now, do the right thing.
244
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,526
You know what you are?
245
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,654
Well, you're a green-blooded buzzkill.
246
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,948
Perhaps it's time you beam on
out of here.
247
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,034
Fine. I will just use the Transporter.
248
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,746
Oh, right, you broke it.
249
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,710
Very well. Cooper to Enterprise,
one to beam up.
250
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,045
Energize.
251
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:06,719
(ROARS)
252
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,888
(SCREAMING)
253
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:13,184
Aah! Tiny Spock! Help!
254
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,067
- Ready for lunch?
- Yeah, one sec. Ahh.
255
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:26,406
Oh, good. Ma would've killed me
if she found out I broke my retainer.
256
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,870
Hey, uh, can I run something by you?
It's about Lakshmi.
257
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,205
Yeah, sure. How are things going?
258
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,582
We hit a couple of bumps.
259
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,544
She lives over in Manhattan Beach,
so it takes like an hour to get there.
260
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,462
And she's a lesbian.
261
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,549
What do you mean, a lesbian?
262
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:48,052
Well, you know whenever you and I
would try to hit on women in bars...
263
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,264
...they'd blow us off,
then we'd tell each other they were gay?
264
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,807
It's like that.
265
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,310
Except this time, it's true.
266
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,772
- Why did she even go out with you?
- She was looking for a husband...
267
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,774
...so she can appear to be straight.
268
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,361
And, you know,
it sounded crazy to me at first...
269
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,323
...but I'm actually thinking about doing it.
270
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:14,245
Okay. Well, so the reason that might
sound crazy is because it's crazy!
271
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,748
Look, Howard, you're in a relationship.
272
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,666
You know you have to make
compromises.
273
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,128
Yes, but my compromises
are about which bedspread to buy...
274
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,757
...or whose turn it is to do the laundry,
Bernadette's or my mom's.
275
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,847
It's a great deal.
We both get our parents off our backs.
276
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,475
I don't have to come home
to an empty apartment.
277
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:40,855
Plus, once I'm married, I can finally eat
carbs again and let myself go.
278
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:45,568
Why don't you tell your parents
you wanna try to find someone else?
279
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,571
You know, one who hasn't slept
with more women than you.
280
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,699
Because this one wants to marry me.
281
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,202
I might never find another one who does.
282
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:58,373
You're thinking about marrying someone
you're never gonna have sex with?
283
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,583
I can't believe your attitude.
284
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,045
I thought you were in favor
of gay people getting married.
285
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,215
HOWARD:
Yes, to other gay people.
286
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,177
RAJESH:
Do you hear how homophobic you sound?
287
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,150
(SIGHS)
288
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,971
Oh, I don't want a broken toy.
289
00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,434
Nothing.
290
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:04,022
- What?
- Nothing. I said nothing.
291
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:07,233
- That was weird.
- Really? I don't even notice anymore.
292
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,863
Ahh, I cannot believe you guys
aren't gonna play with these.
293
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,990
We told you, you don't. It's mint-in-box.
294
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,117
I don't know. I just think it's a waste.
295
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,827
(SCREAMS)
296
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,250
Just relax, I'm just looking at the box.
297
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:29,130
You should look with your eyes and not
your muscular Nebraska man-hands.
298
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,258
What is your problem?
299
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,386
My problem is that I don't want you
to break Leonard's toy...
300
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:39,724
...which you probably did by shaking it.
She shook it, we all saw her.
301
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:43,728
Leonard, I bought you this
because I wanted you to have fun with it.
302
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,189
I didn't want it to sit in this box.
303
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,107
You know what? You're right.
304
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,611
I mean, it's from you.
I'm never gonna sell it.
305
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:52,862
- I'm opening it.
- Yes.
306
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,489
(WHIMPERS)
307
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,959
- It's broken.
- What?
308
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,961
Oh, nice job, man-hands.
309
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,298
I didn't break it.
310
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,634
I guess Stuart sold it to me like this.
311
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,261
Yes. Yes, he did.
312
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,681
That is a perfectly satisfying
and plausible explana...
313
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,726
You know, let's all be mad at Stuart.
314
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,771
I paid a lot for this.
Let's take it over there and show him.
315
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,439
Absolutely.
316
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,151
Wait.
317
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,116
It was me.
318
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,326
I opened your toy...
319
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,830
...discovered it was broken,
and didn't tell you.
320
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:49,293
- Why would you open mine?
- I didn't. That was a lie.
321
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,130
I opened my own toy...
322
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,424
...and it was already broken,
so I switched them.
323
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:59,720
- Well, you should talk to Stuart.
- I can't, because that was a lie.
324
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:05,726
Yours was broken in an earthquake
and that's a lie.
325
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,689
What is the truth?
326
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,026
My Mr. Spock doll came to me
in a dream and forced me to open it.
327
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,281
And when the toy broke,
I switched it for yours.
328
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,659
Later, he encouraged me to do
the right thing and I defied him.
329
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,745
And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
330
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,877
- Okay, that I believe.
- Mm.
331
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,171
Leonard, Penny,
I want you both to know...
332
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:37,675
...that I regret my actions
towards the two of you. That's a lie.
333
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,261
So is that one mine?
334
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,347
- Yes.
- Well, hand it over so I can open it.
335
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,391
Okay.
336
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,269
And, Leonard,
even though I don't have one anymore...
337
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:51,063
- ...I hope you have fun playing with it.
- That's a lie?
338
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,732
- A big, fat whopper.
- Yeah.
339
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,694
I hope it breaks.
340
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,119
This is a treat. What brings you guys by?
341
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:08,414
Raj, Howie told me what's going on
with you and Lakshmi.
342
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:12,210
- You told her?
- I told everybody.
343
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,964
We believe there's someone out there
who'll love you for you.
344
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,592
We kind of agreed to disagree
on that one.
345
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:23,012
But we both think
you shouldn't marry this woman.
346
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,890
So while I'm waiting
for this mysterious perfect match...
347
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:29,352
...who may or may not exist,
I'm supposed to just be alone?
348
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,020
Not necessarily.
349
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,566
I think we found someone for you
to cuddle with.
350
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:36,817
(RAJESH GASPS)
351
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,611
RAJESH:
Oh, my goodness.
352
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:42,615
Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever?
353
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,410
- You got him for me?
- Her.
354
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,205
We thought you two would hit it off.
355
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:52,917
I think we already have.
Thank you guys so much.
356
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,295
Let's go see if you fit in my man-purse.
357
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,926
Metrosexual, my ass.
28409