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1
00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:08,972
AMY:
I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
2
00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:10,640
PENNY:
Glad you're enjoying yourself.
3
00:00:10,819 --> 00:00:12,912
AMY: Until I met you,
my trips to the bathroom...
4
00:00:13,088 --> 00:00:16,023
...had been entirely focused
on elimination.
5
00:00:16,691 --> 00:00:19,489
Now they have
a delightful social aspect.
6
00:00:19,661 --> 00:00:23,290
Amy, you must've been in the bathroom
with other women before.
7
00:00:23,465 --> 00:00:24,898
(TOILET FLUSHES)
8
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,090
AMY:
Of course I have.
9
00:00:26,301 --> 00:00:28,235
They were strangers
and seemed off-put...
10
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:31,497
...when I engaged
in friendly stall-to-stall chitchat.
11
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,835
Some women don't like to get chummy
when their panties are down.
12
00:00:37,545 --> 00:00:39,035
You okay in there, bestie?
13
00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:40,272
PENNY:
I'm fine.
14
00:00:40,448 --> 00:00:43,076
The reason I ask: Many people
experience bladder shyness...
15
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,048
...the inability to pass uri...
16
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:47,347
PENNY:
Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.
17
00:00:47,522 --> 00:00:49,581
She always this crabby
when she urinates?
18
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,851
We're really not that close.
19
00:00:53,628 --> 00:00:54,890
Screw it. I'll go later.
20
00:00:55,330 --> 00:00:57,093
And I'll be right by your side.
21
00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:02,062
Did I tell you Priya invited
me and Howard...
22
00:01:02,237 --> 00:01:04,865
...to have dinner with her and Leonard?
- Oh, that's nice.
23
00:01:05,073 --> 00:01:06,734
No, it's not.
24
00:01:06,908 --> 00:01:08,239
It's a strategic maneuver.
25
00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:12,471
Leonard's new girlfriend is testing
Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group.
26
00:01:12,647 --> 00:01:14,877
That bitch is crafty.
27
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:16,583
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)
28
00:01:16,751 --> 00:01:18,616
- You think?
- Of course.
29
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,153
How does the cheetah attack
a herd of wildebeests?
30
00:01:21,356 --> 00:01:23,051
By going after its weakest member.
31
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:27,551
Well, what makes me
the weakest member?
32
00:01:27,729 --> 00:01:31,392
Your trusting nature
coupled with your teeny-tiny body.
33
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,264
You wouldn't last a minute
on the Serengeti.
34
00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,503
Okay, Amy, you're being silly.
35
00:01:36,671 --> 00:01:38,935
I'm not concerned about
who hangs out with who.
36
00:01:39,107 --> 00:01:43,771
I don't have a problem with Leonard's
girlfriend who wears too much makeup.
37
00:01:43,945 --> 00:01:44,969
(GASPS)
38
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:47,808
Oh, these are cute.
Of course, if I buy them...
39
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:51,281
...l'll have to rent my womb out
to a gay couple.
40
00:01:53,455 --> 00:01:55,582
I'm gonna tell her we can't make it.
41
00:01:55,757 --> 00:01:57,281
Oh, no. You have to go.
42
00:01:57,459 --> 00:02:01,452
I don't understand.
I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
43
00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:04,831
You are, with hair
that smells like strawberries.
44
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,796
We're gonna use that
to our advantage.
45
00:02:06,968 --> 00:02:08,299
What are you talking about?
46
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:09,937
By accepting the invitation...
47
00:02:10,105 --> 00:02:12,699
...Bernadette becomes a double agent
in the enemy camp.
48
00:02:12,907 --> 00:02:15,467
Ferret out Priya's tactics,
identify her weaknesses...
49
00:02:15,643 --> 00:02:17,804
...and feed her false information
such as:
50
00:02:17,979 --> 00:02:21,039
Leonard's no stranger
to back-alley cockfights.
51
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,117
I don't know. I'm not a very good liar.
52
00:02:24,285 --> 00:02:27,277
They kind of whup that out of you
in Catholic school.
53
00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,446
Don't worry. I'll teach you.
54
00:02:29,624 --> 00:02:33,560
I did two years of Cub Scouts
before they found out I was a girl.
55
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,530
Okay, I don't know you people.
56
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,131
I'm just an innocent woman...
57
00:02:38,299 --> 00:02:41,132
...wondering if this shoe store
will take my Texaco card.
58
00:02:43,338 --> 00:02:45,329
How about concealing
a recording device...
59
00:02:45,507 --> 00:02:47,998
...in the cleavage
of your ample bosom?
60
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:51,643
I don't want anything
in my ample bosom.
61
00:02:52,147 --> 00:02:54,843
Come on, Strawberries.
Take one for the team.
62
00:03:20,642 --> 00:03:23,008
- Okay, see you later.
- Good news.
63
00:03:23,178 --> 00:03:27,672
I finally have a handle on my idea
for three-person chess.
64
00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:30,409
That is good news. Bye.
65
00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:34,686
Do you know how I solved the
balanced center combat-area problem?
66
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:35,880
Five words:
67
00:03:36,057 --> 00:03:39,857
Transitional quadrilateral
to triangular tessellation.
68
00:03:41,229 --> 00:03:43,129
That... That's brilliant.
69
00:03:43,298 --> 00:03:45,027
It's what I do.
70
00:03:46,034 --> 00:03:47,296
But wait, there's more.
71
00:03:47,468 --> 00:03:50,437
I also invented two new chess pieces.
72
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:54,769
The serpent and the old woman.
73
00:03:56,311 --> 00:03:58,279
Okay, now I have to ask.
What do they do?
74
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,415
When the serpent slithers
to an opposing player's piece...
75
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:06,919
...that piece is considered poisoned
and will die after two more moves.
76
00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:10,414
All right.
77
00:04:10,592 --> 00:04:14,153
Unless it gets
to the old woman in time...
78
00:04:14,329 --> 00:04:17,059
...in which case she
sucks out the poison...
79
00:04:17,232 --> 00:04:20,895
...turning her into the grand empress.
80
00:04:23,404 --> 00:04:28,273
A piece combining the power
of the knight, queen and serpent.
81
00:04:28,843 --> 00:04:32,108
- Elegant.
- That's because it's simple.
82
00:04:34,449 --> 00:04:36,246
I look forward to playing with you.
83
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:38,442
- And?
- And what?
84
00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:43,586
And a third person.
It's three-person chess.
85
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:46,818
I must say, ever since you started
having regular intercourse...
86
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,589
...your mind has lost its keen edge.
87
00:04:50,865 --> 00:04:52,856
You should reflect on that.
88
00:04:53,034 --> 00:04:55,798
Excuse me, but Einstein had
a pretty busy sex life.
89
00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:59,133
Yes, and he never unified gravity
with the other forces.
90
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:04,106
If he hadn't been such a hound dog,
we'd all have time machines.
91
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,612
Got it. Bye.
92
00:05:06,781 --> 00:05:08,271
You know I'm right.
93
00:05:10,618 --> 00:05:12,779
I think he's getting worse.
94
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,623
Oh, my metatarsals are barking.
95
00:05:23,464 --> 00:05:24,488
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
96
00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:26,634
I'm just breaking in some new shoes.
97
00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:28,535
- Very pretty.
- Thank you.
98
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:32,264
Did you know women wear high heels to
make the buttocks and breasts prominent?
99
00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:35,805
- Hadn't really thought about it.
- Look.
100
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,811
Uh, sure. Very, uh, prominent.
101
00:05:42,984 --> 00:05:46,420
Please, Leonard, don't leer,
you have a girlfriend.
102
00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:47,645
Sorry.
103
00:05:47,822 --> 00:05:49,983
Off to dinner with
Priya, Howard and Bernadette?
104
00:05:50,158 --> 00:05:53,321
- Yeah. How did you know?
- Heard it at the mall with my girlfriends...
105
00:05:53,494 --> 00:05:55,928
...because, you know,
that's kind of my life now.
106
00:05:57,498 --> 00:05:58,522
Have a good night.
107
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:01,692
Try not to ogle my caboose
as I walk away.
108
00:06:10,044 --> 00:06:12,171
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
109
00:06:12,714 --> 00:06:14,875
Hey, Raj. Will you be joining us
for dinner?
110
00:06:15,049 --> 00:06:17,574
The lonely guy
and the two happy couples?
111
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:22,246
I'd rather get a prostate exam from a
leper who walks away with nine fingers.
112
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,416
Oh, would you please stop
feeling sorry for yourself?
113
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,757
I have to feel sorry for myself.
I'm the only one who cares.
114
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,525
Just like I'm the only one
who'll have sex with me.
115
00:06:33,901 --> 00:06:35,528
Really? In front of your sister?
116
00:06:35,903 --> 00:06:39,430
We shared a room growing up.
This is not news to me.
117
00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:42,540
Excuse me. I'm gonna go
wander the streets alone.
118
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:44,371
Invisible, unwanted and unloved...
119
00:06:44,545 --> 00:06:48,037
...a pathetic shadow
in a city with no heart.
120
00:06:50,585 --> 00:06:53,076
I forgot my windbreaker. It's chilly.
121
00:06:56,257 --> 00:06:59,920
I don't understand.
Is this a way to break in new shoes?
122
00:07:00,094 --> 00:07:04,053
No. Once these puppies touch the ground,
they're mine and I'll have to wear them...
123
00:07:04,232 --> 00:07:08,100
...walking up and down Hollywood
Boulevard in order to pay them off.
124
00:07:08,269 --> 00:07:09,293
(PHONE CHIMES)
125
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,098
Pretty, pretty, pretty.
126
00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:15,932
Good news:
The wildebeest is in the curry.
127
00:07:16,778 --> 00:07:18,075
The what?
128
00:07:18,246 --> 00:07:20,271
Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard.
129
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:22,815
Message received.
130
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:26,784
Commence operation
"Priya, Wouldn't Wanna Be You."
131
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:30,118
Hey. Seriously?
132
00:07:30,291 --> 00:07:33,089
Didn't you get enough of this
cliquey crap in high school?
133
00:07:33,261 --> 00:07:36,094
I wish. A clique requires friends.
I didn't have any.
134
00:07:36,597 --> 00:07:37,621
None?
135
00:07:37,799 --> 00:07:40,029
I used to take my lunch
to the maintenance room...
136
00:07:40,201 --> 00:07:42,169
...and eat with the janitor.
137
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,794
It was nice until his wife called me
a puta and made me stop.
138
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,367
(PHONE CHIMES)
139
00:07:50,545 --> 00:07:53,605
Hang on. It's the wildebeest.
140
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,283
Priya just made a snide comment
about your acting career.
141
00:07:57,452 --> 00:07:58,680
What the hell did she say?
142
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:02,619
She thinks it's cool you're following
your dream no matter what.
143
00:08:03,925 --> 00:08:06,120
That bitch!
144
00:08:07,829 --> 00:08:09,820
How do you wanna handle it?
145
00:08:09,997 --> 00:08:13,899
Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya
that I'm on my way to Prague...
146
00:08:14,068 --> 00:08:16,127
...to shoot a movie
with Angelina Jolie.
147
00:08:16,637 --> 00:08:18,195
Got it.
148
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,567
Is it gonna be in 3-D?
149
00:08:21,175 --> 00:08:23,006
What? I don't know. It doesn't matter.
150
00:08:23,177 --> 00:08:26,544
I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know
the studio has faith in it.
151
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,980
You're kidding. 3-D?
152
00:08:33,354 --> 00:08:35,049
That's what I hear.
153
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,248
Then the studio
must have real faith in it.
154
00:08:40,161 --> 00:08:41,594
Wonder why she didn't tell me.
155
00:08:41,762 --> 00:08:44,026
You been spending time
with your ex-girlfriend?
156
00:08:44,198 --> 00:08:45,688
No.
157
00:08:47,101 --> 00:08:49,365
Then why are you surprised
she didn't tell you?
158
00:08:49,537 --> 00:08:53,200
Well, it's not as much surprised as...
159
00:08:53,374 --> 00:08:56,969
...uh, you know, uh, the other thing.
160
00:08:58,379 --> 00:08:59,710
What other thing?
161
00:08:59,881 --> 00:09:01,348
Well, if you...
162
00:09:01,516 --> 00:09:02,949
(STAMMERING)
163
00:09:04,352 --> 00:09:07,685
I don't... Oh, what's the word
I'm looking for?
164
00:09:07,855 --> 00:09:11,757
I'm not gonna help you.
This is hilarious. Heh.
165
00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:15,689
She's also dating an astronaut.
166
00:09:17,298 --> 00:09:19,391
Wow, that's very impressive.
167
00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:20,625
Yeah.
168
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,860
But Leonard's impressive too.
169
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,240
Thank you.
170
00:09:30,211 --> 00:09:31,235
"Befuddled."
171
00:09:31,412 --> 00:09:34,609
The word I was looking for was
"befuddled."
172
00:09:41,155 --> 00:09:44,056
Knight to old woman...
173
00:09:46,327 --> 00:09:49,228
...six-and-a-third.
174
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,298
Brilliant move.
175
00:10:03,244 --> 00:10:04,905
Thank you.
176
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:07,548
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
177
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,977
Will the two of you excuse me?
178
00:10:16,257 --> 00:10:18,316
I need a hug.
179
00:10:20,127 --> 00:10:21,151
Sorry, I have company.
180
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,268
Come on, Sheldon, open the door.
181
00:10:30,271 --> 00:10:32,637
I don't want to hug you.
182
00:10:32,807 --> 00:10:35,799
I don't want to hug you either.
I was just feeling blue.
183
00:10:35,977 --> 00:10:38,241
Blue, as in depressed.
184
00:10:38,412 --> 00:10:40,312
Well, not so much depressed
as lonely.
185
00:10:40,815 --> 00:10:43,340
I don't know what color lonely is.
186
00:10:43,551 --> 00:10:45,815
- What?
- Red is angry...
187
00:10:45,987 --> 00:10:47,249
...yellow is frightened...
188
00:10:47,421 --> 00:10:50,481
...green is jealous
and blue is depressed.
189
00:10:50,658 --> 00:10:53,286
Perhaps we can assign
a color to lonely.
190
00:10:54,128 --> 00:10:57,154
Nothing rhymes with orange.
It's probably lonely.
191
00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:02,829
All right. Come in. You look
positively orange with loneliness.
192
00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,836
No, I don't see that catching on at all.
193
00:11:08,009 --> 00:11:09,033
What are you doing?
194
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,007
Working on my three-person
chess game.
195
00:11:11,178 --> 00:11:12,338
Oh, cool. Can I play?
196
00:11:15,182 --> 00:11:18,174
It's three-person chess.
197
00:11:18,352 --> 00:11:20,616
- Did you bring a friend?
- No.
198
00:11:20,788 --> 00:11:23,985
Then as a mental exercise,
I invite you to figure out...
199
00:11:24,158 --> 00:11:28,219
...why the two of us
can't play three-person chess.
200
00:11:30,531 --> 00:11:32,658
Can you believe this guy?
201
00:11:34,835 --> 00:11:36,359
Social protocol does, however...
202
00:11:36,537 --> 00:11:39,404
...require me to bring you
a hot beverage in time of need.
203
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:42,201
- No, thank you. I'm fine.
- No, it's not optional.
204
00:11:43,611 --> 00:11:46,876
We're out of tea.
I hope you like bouillon.
205
00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:50,210
I guess you're probably wondering
what's got me down.
206
00:11:50,384 --> 00:11:52,045
Actually, I was wondering...
207
00:11:52,219 --> 00:11:54,813
...if I could add a third
new chess piece.
208
00:11:54,989 --> 00:11:57,890
How do you think people
would feel about Prince Joey...
209
00:11:58,059 --> 00:12:02,052
...the king's feeble-minded
but well-meaning cousin?
210
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:06,393
I'm gonna be 30 years old
and I have no one in my life to love me.
211
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:08,091
I can't even talk to a woman...
212
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,737
...without having alcohol in my body.
213
00:12:10,905 --> 00:12:13,066
The fun thing about Prince Joey...
214
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,902
...is every time he moves...
215
00:12:16,077 --> 00:12:18,705
...there's a 1-in-5 chance
he'll kill himself.
216
00:12:21,248 --> 00:12:22,442
Sheldon, listen to me.
217
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,914
I have a big decision to make,
and I'm scared.
218
00:12:25,519 --> 00:12:27,953
Yellow. Go ahead.
219
00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:30,749
A friend gave me
these new pills they're testing.
220
00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:33,894
He says it's the next big thing
for social anxiety disorder.
221
00:12:34,061 --> 00:12:36,154
Fascinating. What's in it?
222
00:12:36,664 --> 00:12:39,758
I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker
attached to a molecule...
223
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:42,801
...extracted from the urine of cows.
224
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,938
I like cows.
225
00:12:45,106 --> 00:12:46,130
That's not the point.
226
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,935
It was its own point. Go on.
227
00:12:49,110 --> 00:12:50,202
I'm a scientist.
228
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:52,642
My ability to think
is my bread and butter.
229
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:55,441
I'm afraid if I take this,
I might lose that special...
230
00:12:55,616 --> 00:12:56,640
...unique something...
231
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,650
...that makes me so successful
in my field.
232
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,288
Rajesh, I've had the privilege...
233
00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:05,289
...of working alongside you
for many years.
234
00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:09,225
My recommendation is that
you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.
235
00:13:16,237 --> 00:13:18,228
Okay, I'm still trying to work this out.
236
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:21,170
How did Penny meet an astronaut?
237
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:25,608
I don't know. The regular way
people meet astronauts.
238
00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:30,907
- Most of those guys live in Texas.
- Obviously, this one doesn't.
239
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:33,478
Okay.
240
00:13:33,654 --> 00:13:37,750
Leonard lives here. Priya's from India.
People meet, Howard. God!
241
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,017
- Fine.
- You've met lots of astronauts...
242
00:13:41,228 --> 00:13:43,287
...and I've never grilled you
about that.
243
00:13:43,464 --> 00:13:46,092
I'd thank you to extend me
the same courtesy.
244
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,963
I'm not grilling you,
I was just curious.
245
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,201
I can't get over the fact
that she got a big movie part.
246
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,208
Not that I care
what my ex-girlfriend's up to...
247
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,437
...because I don't.
248
00:13:59,647 --> 00:14:02,946
Maybe that's where
she met the astronaut, all right?
249
00:14:03,117 --> 00:14:06,484
I'm sorry. What would an astronaut
be doing working on a movie?
250
00:14:07,321 --> 00:14:09,448
He's a consultant.
251
00:14:10,825 --> 00:14:13,259
I thought the movie was about
18th-century Vienna.
252
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,994
He can't have a hobby?
253
00:14:15,162 --> 00:14:17,392
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
254
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:20,126
Excuse me, I have to pee.
255
00:14:20,301 --> 00:14:22,531
Or is that implausible as well?
256
00:14:26,841 --> 00:14:30,140
It's nice to have
another couple to hang with, isn't it?
257
00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:32,703
(SIGHS)
258
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,508
All right, guys, you have to go back.
I can't afford you.
259
00:14:35,683 --> 00:14:38,117
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) "No, don't
send us away. We love you."
260
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:43,980
(IN NORMAL VOICE) I love you too,
but you cost more than my rent.
261
00:14:44,859 --> 00:14:47,794
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
"But, Penny, you look so good in us."
262
00:14:48,229 --> 00:14:50,493
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Damn it, the shoes are right.
263
00:14:50,664 --> 00:14:53,565
Good golly, Penny,
your whimsy is boundless.
264
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,164
(PHONE RINGS)
265
00:14:58,038 --> 00:14:59,733
What do you got for me, wildebeest?
266
00:15:00,307 --> 00:15:02,002
I think they're onto me.
267
00:15:02,176 --> 00:15:04,167
The story's starting to fall apart.
268
00:15:04,345 --> 00:15:06,108
Calm down.
Everything's gonna be okay.
269
00:15:06,313 --> 00:15:08,543
We may have to kill her.
270
00:15:09,183 --> 00:15:11,879
Bernadette, I'm putting you
on speakerphone.
271
00:15:12,052 --> 00:15:13,952
- Where are you now?
- In the bathroom.
272
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:17,579
Oh, look at this, another one
of our classic bathroom gabfests.
273
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,354
What's the problem?
274
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:23,224
They're asking me
all sorts of questions I can't answer.
275
00:15:23,397 --> 00:15:24,762
Just change the subject.
276
00:15:24,932 --> 00:15:27,093
I could get them back
to talking about Leonard...
277
00:15:27,268 --> 00:15:29,634
...going to India
to meet Priya's parents.
278
00:15:29,837 --> 00:15:31,031
What?
279
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:33,605
They said something
about going there this summer.
280
00:15:33,774 --> 00:15:36,265
- What, are they getting engaged?
- I don't know.
281
00:15:36,443 --> 00:15:40,539
I was too busy covering my heinie
on Amy's stupid astronaut story.
282
00:15:41,582 --> 00:15:42,947
What astronaut story?
283
00:15:43,117 --> 00:15:45,483
You texted me,
"Penny's dating an astronaut."
284
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,711
I texted "architect."
285
00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:49,720
That's amusing.
Autocorrect must've changed it.
286
00:15:51,292 --> 00:15:53,658
Yeah, it's hysterical.
287
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:56,726
Look, just forget about the astronaut.
288
00:15:56,897 --> 00:15:59,457
Architect. Where would you
have met an astronaut?
289
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:03,768
Just find out
what's up with this trip to India.
290
00:16:03,938 --> 00:16:06,566
- I don't wanna do this anymore.
- Don't you quit on us.
291
00:16:06,774 --> 00:16:07,798
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
292
00:16:07,975 --> 00:16:09,306
HOWARD:
Bernie, you okay?
293
00:16:09,476 --> 00:16:12,172
It was an architect!
294
00:16:14,782 --> 00:16:17,114
Thanks for coming, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.
295
00:16:17,284 --> 00:16:20,811
I'm glad you think so.
That's what I strive to emulate.
296
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,981
Okay, let's see if this drug works.
297
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,762
Can I help you?
298
00:16:41,842 --> 00:16:44,310
Forgive me for staring,
but you're very beautiful.
299
00:16:51,485 --> 00:16:52,509
Thank you.
300
00:16:52,686 --> 00:16:54,677
That's a great accent.
Where are you from?
301
00:16:54,855 --> 00:16:57,483
- India.
- Oh, cool. I've always wanted to go there.
302
00:16:57,658 --> 00:17:00,650
It's a beautiful country. You'd love it.
May I join you?
303
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,822
Uh, okay, sure. Why not?
304
00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,659
My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.
305
00:17:05,866 --> 00:17:07,925
- This is my friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
- Hi.
306
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:12,061
There's no need to interact with me.
I'm just here to observe.
307
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,632
What's he observing?
308
00:17:14,808 --> 00:17:18,744
We're scientists. We observe everything.
Here, go buy yourself a scone.
309
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,141
All right.
310
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:24,175
- And what is your name?
- Angela.
311
00:17:24,351 --> 00:17:27,184
Oh, derived from the word "angel."
Appropriate.
312
00:17:27,621 --> 00:17:29,521
Ha. You're cute.
313
00:17:29,690 --> 00:17:31,419
I'd like to buy a scone.
314
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,924
Oh, I'm sorry, we're out.
We have muffins.
315
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,254
They sound delicious...
316
00:17:35,462 --> 00:17:38,761
...but this money is earmarked
for scones.
317
00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:42,094
ANGELA: What are you doing?
- Oh, just getting comfortable.
318
00:17:44,238 --> 00:17:46,263
So how long have
you lived in Los Angeles?
319
00:17:46,473 --> 00:17:48,441
- L...
- They were out of scones.
320
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,702
I'm talking to someone.
You're being rude.
321
00:17:50,878 --> 00:17:52,368
I'll bet you're an actress.
322
00:17:52,546 --> 00:17:56,243
If not, you should be.
You have a very expressive face.
323
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:57,708
Oh, my God!
324
00:17:58,185 --> 00:18:01,382
Wait, where are you going?
We were doing so well.
325
00:18:01,555 --> 00:18:04,581
She never even got to see my penis.
326
00:18:07,261 --> 00:18:08,353
Ta-da!
327
00:18:16,437 --> 00:18:17,768
Who wants some more coffee?
328
00:18:17,938 --> 00:18:19,371
- Thanks, yeah.
- Sure.
329
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:20,939
Let me help you.
330
00:18:22,876 --> 00:18:25,709
Nice to see that the gals
are getting along.
331
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:29,945
"Gals"?
Who are you, Fred Flintstone?
332
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,780
- This trip to India sounds fun.
- Yeah, I think it will be.
333
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:38,291
Are you concerned your parents
might not approve of Leonard?
334
00:18:38,459 --> 00:18:40,620
A little. They're very old-fashioned.
335
00:18:40,794 --> 00:18:42,386
Well, I wouldn't worry about it.
336
00:18:42,563 --> 00:18:45,930
It's not like you guys
are getting engaged, right?
337
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,326
Oh, my God, no. We're not there yet.
338
00:18:50,537 --> 00:18:54,473
Not engaged. Very interesting.
I have to tinkle.
339
00:18:54,641 --> 00:18:56,472
You've been in there a lot. You okay?
340
00:18:56,643 --> 00:18:59,544
Yes. Are you writing a book?
341
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,110
Why are you getting upset?
342
00:19:02,282 --> 00:19:04,648
I'm not upset. Maybe you're upset.
343
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:06,846
What's up with you?
344
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,248
Bernadette?
345
00:19:13,494 --> 00:19:14,654
I can't do this anymore!
346
00:19:15,629 --> 00:19:19,065
I'm a good girl.
I went to Catholic school.
347
00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:25,169
Okay, well, it's getting late.
This was terrific.
348
00:19:25,339 --> 00:19:27,307
You win. Ha, ha.
349
00:19:27,841 --> 00:19:29,069
Bernie?
350
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,007
I think the word
you're looking for is "befuddled."
351
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:44,121
My catapult flings my bishop...
352
00:19:45,459 --> 00:19:48,826
...to Howard's queen's gorilla two.
353
00:19:50,597 --> 00:19:56,035
Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad.
354
00:19:56,470 --> 00:20:00,236
And he comes out at...
355
00:20:01,441 --> 00:20:04,274
...Leonard's queen's bishop
five-and-a-third.
356
00:20:04,444 --> 00:20:06,469
Check on Leonard.
357
00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:09,606
Hang on.
358
00:20:09,783 --> 00:20:13,344
When is my pawn allowed
to use the golf cart?
359
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:15,583
When it's done charging.
360
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,519
Or you land on the time machine.
361
00:20:17,691 --> 00:20:19,591
Obviously.
362
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:23,125
Oh, oh...
363
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:26,824
Beekeeper to king 12.
364
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,699
I capture your pope
and release the swarm.
365
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,365
Checkmate on Sheldon.
366
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,379
I knew I should've given my pope
the jet pack.
367
00:20:40,347 --> 00:20:42,645
Hey, I've got winners.
29087
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