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1
00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:06,778
Buonasera, Luigi's Pizza.
2
00:00:06,949 --> 00:00:11,249
Buonasera, it means "good evening"
in Italian.
3
00:00:11,421 --> 00:00:13,412
May I say having to explain that
to you...
4
00:00:13,589 --> 00:00:17,252
...calls into question
the authenticity of your ristorante?
5
00:00:17,927 --> 00:00:19,087
Okay, I'm out of here.
6
00:00:19,328 --> 00:00:20,761
(SPEAKS IN ITALIAN)
7
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:24,298
Oh, for heaven's sake,
now you're being deliberately stupid.
8
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,092
- Where are you going?
- I'm having dinner with Priya at Raj's.
9
00:00:28,271 --> 00:00:31,468
- Howard's gonna be there, wanna join us?
- But tonight's Thursday.
10
00:00:31,641 --> 00:00:34,576
On Thursdays everybody comes
over here and has pizza...
11
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:38,646
...or a reasonable facsimile prepared
by someone claiming to be Luigi...
12
00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:41,409
...but who sounds suspiciously
like Jackie Chan.
13
00:00:42,618 --> 00:00:44,984
Can't we make a one-time exception
for tonight?
14
00:00:45,154 --> 00:00:48,681
We could.
We could also stop using the letter M.
15
00:00:48,891 --> 00:00:52,383
But I think that idea
is isguided and oronic.
16
00:00:53,162 --> 00:00:54,493
Just come with me to Raj's.
17
00:00:54,664 --> 00:00:57,258
- Well, I don't wanna go to a party.
- It's not a party.
18
00:00:57,433 --> 00:01:00,129
It's the same group who hang out here,
hanging out there.
19
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:03,703
I'm sorry, but five people
eating and chatting is a party.
20
00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:06,402
How come it's not a party
when we do it here?
21
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,133
Because we don't throw parties.
22
00:01:09,412 --> 00:01:10,436
I don't know, Sheldon.
23
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:13,104
I'm going to see Priya, everyone's there.
You coming?
24
00:01:13,316 --> 00:01:15,409
Well, no, sir, and do you know why?
25
00:01:15,585 --> 00:01:17,314
In a word: Tradition.
26
00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:20,686
Every Thursday night
for the last eight years...
27
00:01:20,857 --> 00:01:24,657
...you and I and our friends
have gathered here in this very spot...
28
00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:27,660
...to break bread
covered with cheese and sauce...
29
00:01:27,864 --> 00:01:32,858
...discuss the issues of the day
and, yes, share a laugh or two.
30
00:01:33,035 --> 00:01:35,868
But I guess our rich heritage
means nothing to you.
31
00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:40,240
- I guess you're right. See you later.
- Wait, Leonard, wait.
32
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,137
What am I going to do for dinner?
33
00:01:42,345 --> 00:01:45,371
- Come with me to Raj's and eat there.
- Well, I can't do that.
34
00:01:45,548 --> 00:01:48,642
What if he serves
haggis and blood pudding?
35
00:01:49,952 --> 00:01:52,546
I really doubt that's what he'll serve.
36
00:01:52,755 --> 00:01:53,813
But what if he does?
37
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:57,983
I'll be obliged to dine on liver and lungs
stuffed in a sheep's stomach.
38
00:01:58,594 --> 00:02:02,860
Blood pudding is essentially the same.
I don't know why he's serving both.
39
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,869
What do you wanna do?
Do you wanna come or sit here alone?
40
00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:08,696
No, I'll go to your haggis party.
41
00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:15,000
But I'm telling you, this is adness.
This is utter and coplete adness.
42
00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:42,528
SHELDON: Oh, dear.
- What?
43
00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:44,263
Raj's television.
44
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,035
I just realized we're about to spend
an evening watching a plasma screen...
45
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:51,408
...with a cluster of dead pixels
in the upper left-hand corner.
46
00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:54,209
So don't watch TV, read a book.
47
00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:57,851
And be a social pariah?
You know that's not my style.
48
00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:01,247
(SIGHS)
49
00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:05,723
The audible sigh is a show
of exasperation, right?
50
00:03:06,295 --> 00:03:07,660
Right.
51
00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:11,163
Was it about me or the dead pixels?
52
00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:13,965
Hey, you're just in time.
We made Tex-Mex.
53
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:17,196
- Oh, sounds great.
- Oh, Indians making Tex-Mex.
54
00:03:17,373 --> 00:03:20,035
Might as well have had
the Chinese pizza.
55
00:03:21,711 --> 00:03:22,871
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
56
00:03:23,045 --> 00:03:24,307
(PRIYA CHUCKLES)
57
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,739
That's gotta be fun for you, huh?
58
00:03:28,651 --> 00:03:32,143
Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva
out of your sister's mouth?
59
00:03:33,823 --> 00:03:36,189
Excuse me, before this evening
goes any further...
60
00:03:36,359 --> 00:03:39,226
...we need to decide
where everyone's going to sit.
61
00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:41,225
There's no assigned seats, Sheldon.
62
00:03:41,397 --> 00:03:43,592
Just sit anywhere,
make yourself comfortable.
63
00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:47,497
Oh, what fun.
We're like hippies at a love-in.
64
00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:52,236
- Just sit here.
- Yeah, right on, man, right on.
65
00:03:54,543 --> 00:04:00,504
Oh, look, it's Harry Potter
and 98 Percent of the Sorcerer's Stone.
66
00:04:01,384 --> 00:04:04,876
Okay, we've got fajitas
with all the fixings...
67
00:04:05,054 --> 00:04:06,419
...so you make your own.
68
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,284
Oh, that's wonderful.
Dinner, some assembly required.
69
00:04:11,193 --> 00:04:13,855
- Do you want a margarita, Sheldon?
- What...? A margarita?
70
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:16,260
Where are we? What is happening?
71
00:04:19,035 --> 00:04:21,560
Oh, hey, Sheldon. What can I get you?
72
00:04:21,771 --> 00:04:23,534
Water, neat...
73
00:04:23,706 --> 00:04:26,004
...with a little umbrella.
74
00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:27,800
Where are all your friends?
75
00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:31,070
Sadly, Penny, this evening,
I am The Dark Knight...
76
00:04:31,247 --> 00:04:33,306
...roaming these mean streets alone.
77
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:39,010
A windbreaker for my cape
and a stern expression for my cowl.
78
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,723
Okay.
79
00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:46,522
Excuse me. Isn't this the point...
80
00:04:46,696 --> 00:04:50,029
...where the world-weary barkeep
absent-mindedly wipes down the bar...
81
00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:52,667
...and coaxes the woes
out of the troubled patron?
82
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:57,431
Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella,
but all right.
83
00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:01,475
What's troubling you, buddy?
84
00:05:03,579 --> 00:05:06,742
I don't think your heart's in it,
but since you asked...
85
00:05:06,916 --> 00:05:10,044
Apparently, because Leonard is dating
Raj's sister...
86
00:05:10,219 --> 00:05:12,915
...we're all forced to hang out
at his apartment.
87
00:05:13,089 --> 00:05:15,683
- Oh, the horror.
- Yeah. Indeed.
88
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,258
Yeah, at one point,
Raj put on reggae music...
89
00:05:18,427 --> 00:05:20,691
...and his sister took off her shoes.
90
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,058
It was like the last days of Caligula.
91
00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:27,829
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
92
00:05:28,004 --> 00:05:30,165
Oh, I have to get this.
93
00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:31,601
Umbrella?
94
00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:34,374
(SIGHS)
95
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,478
I wonder
what she's exasperated about?
96
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,104
Hello?
97
00:05:39,281 --> 00:05:40,612
Sheldon, are you all right?
98
00:05:40,783 --> 00:05:43,308
When last we spoke,
you were gonna take a taxi home from Raj's.
99
00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:46,580
But according to Facebook, you just
checked in at the Cheesecake Factory.
100
00:05:46,789 --> 00:05:48,120
Yes, I was in a taxi...
101
00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:51,987
...but the driver didn't look at all
like the photograph on his license.
102
00:05:52,161 --> 00:05:54,595
So I leapt out and ran for it.
103
00:05:55,131 --> 00:05:56,792
Wise.
104
00:05:56,966 --> 00:06:00,959
Here you go, just like recovering
alcoholics drink in the Caribbean.
105
00:06:01,504 --> 00:06:02,994
AMY:
Hi, bestie.
106
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:05,106
Oh, hi, Amy. How you been?
107
00:06:05,307 --> 00:06:09,539
Fine. From this angle,
I can see up your nose.
108
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,305
Yeah, it's a great time
to be alive, isn't it?
109
00:06:12,515 --> 00:06:16,246
Don't worry, my problems can wait
while you two hens finish your clucking.
110
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:20,812
Look, Sheldon, Leonard is dating Priya.
She's staying with Raj.
111
00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:24,323
That means you're all probably gonna
be hanging out there more.
112
00:06:24,493 --> 00:06:26,427
AMY:
Penny, sorry you got dragged into this.
113
00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:28,823
I know you're devastated
that your ex-boyfriend...
114
00:06:28,998 --> 00:06:33,059
...has found an exciting new lover
with flawless caramel-colored skin.
115
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:35,499
Okay, I'm not upset
about Leonard and Priya.
116
00:06:35,704 --> 00:06:38,002
Your flaring nostrils indicate otherwise.
117
00:06:39,508 --> 00:06:41,499
Cluck, cluck, cluck.
118
00:06:42,511 --> 00:06:44,274
Sheldon, look at me.
119
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:48,178
I think it's time to face the fact that
Leonard is the nucleus of your group.
120
00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:49,908
Where he goes, the group goes.
121
00:06:50,152 --> 00:06:52,916
Leonard, the nucleus?
That makes no sense.
122
00:06:53,089 --> 00:06:56,581
I'm the whimsical elf
that everyone looks to for a good time.
123
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:02,659
I'm not saying that you're not fun.
You're the most fun person I know.
124
00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:06,894
A lot of people
think I'm fun to be around.
125
00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:09,230
Don't be needy, bestie.
126
00:07:09,438 --> 00:07:12,100
That's probably part
of what chased Leonard away.
127
00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:16,609
What I am saying, Sheldon,
is that your group is Leonard-centric.
128
00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:19,477
If it were a town,
it would be Leonardville.
129
00:07:19,682 --> 00:07:22,378
If it were an Islamic nation,
Leonardstan.
130
00:07:22,551 --> 00:07:24,781
If it were the birthplace
of motion pictures...
131
00:07:24,954 --> 00:07:27,582
...we'd all be singing
"Hooray for Leonardwood."
132
00:07:27,756 --> 00:07:29,781
Oh, I got a one.
If you guys were a band...
133
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:31,654
...you'd be called
Leonard and the Leonards.
134
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,692
(CHUCKLES)
135
00:07:34,697 --> 00:07:36,096
So needy.
136
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:43,233
- What you doing?
- I'm setting out snacks.
137
00:07:43,405 --> 00:07:46,738
You do realize everyone's eating
at Raj's again tonight.
138
00:07:46,909 --> 00:07:50,504
I didn't say the snacks were for you,
now, did I, Nosy Rosie?
139
00:07:54,984 --> 00:07:57,748
- You're having people over?
- Yes.
140
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,083
Must be killing you, wondering who.
Fine, I'll tell you.
141
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:05,159
It's Stuart from the comic book store,
Barry Kripke from the university...
142
00:08:05,327 --> 00:08:10,162
...Penny's ex-boyfriend, Zack,
and TV's LeVar Burton.
143
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,665
Really? LeVar Burton's coming here?
144
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:16,030
Possibly, I tweeted him.
145
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,234
Okay, well, tell him
I loved him on Star Trek.
146
00:08:20,442 --> 00:08:23,605
Please, Leonard,
stop trying to horn in on my new friends.
147
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,147
Of course, good night.
148
00:08:26,348 --> 00:08:28,282
- Leonard.
- Yeah?
149
00:08:29,485 --> 00:08:32,113
We had a good run, you and I.
150
00:08:34,190 --> 00:08:36,488
Okay.
151
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,523
But change is a part of life.
152
00:08:39,195 --> 00:08:40,457
It certainly is.
153
00:08:41,497 --> 00:08:43,021
Okay.
154
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,624
I have guests coming.
155
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,826
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave now.
156
00:08:50,706 --> 00:08:53,800
- I am leaving.
- Don't make this harder than it is.
157
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,344
- Goodbye, Sheldon.
- And goodbye to you, sir.
158
00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:06,078
He'll be back.
159
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,815
LEONARD:
Of course I'll be back, I live here!
160
00:09:23,739 --> 00:09:26,867
Well, it would appear
LeVar Burton won't be joining us.
161
00:09:27,042 --> 00:09:29,476
So, um, let's get started.
162
00:09:29,645 --> 00:09:33,342
Uh, I thought we'd begin by going
around the room, introducing ourselves...
163
00:09:33,549 --> 00:09:35,847
...and saying a little bit
about why we're here.
164
00:09:36,018 --> 00:09:37,781
Okay, ahem, uh, I'm Sheldon.
165
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:41,286
Uh, for readers of the New England
Journal of High Energy Physics...
166
00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:43,549
...I need no introduction.
167
00:09:43,726 --> 00:09:47,856
If you're not familiar with that,
there's a free copy in your goody bag.
168
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,862
Stuart?
169
00:09:53,402 --> 00:09:56,064
Um, ahem, hi, I'm Stuart.
170
00:09:56,238 --> 00:09:57,933
I run a comic book store...
171
00:09:58,107 --> 00:10:01,770
...which, for financial reasons,
I'm currently living in.
172
00:10:02,244 --> 00:10:07,307
And I guess what I'm hoping for most
out of tonight is a hot shower.
173
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:10,877
That's very nice, Stuart. Zack?
174
00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:13,551
I'm Zack and I'm, uh...
175
00:10:14,456 --> 00:10:16,651
Uh...
176
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,589
Could you come back to me?
177
00:10:20,262 --> 00:10:23,163
Of course. Barry?
178
00:10:23,399 --> 00:10:26,800
I'm Barry Kripke and I'm here
because you told me there was a raffle.
179
00:10:29,071 --> 00:10:30,595
When is the raffle?
180
00:10:30,806 --> 00:10:32,899
Patience, patience, Barry, the waffle...
Ahem.
181
00:10:33,075 --> 00:10:35,168
The raffle...
182
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:40,247
...is the grand finale to an evening-long
festival of fun and folly.
183
00:10:40,449 --> 00:10:43,543
- One more question...
- Yes, you must be present to win.
184
00:10:44,553 --> 00:10:47,613
Okay, I'm ready. I'm Zack and I'm, uh...
185
00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:50,322
Oh, crap, why is this so hard?
186
00:10:55,297 --> 00:10:56,321
PENNY: Oh, hey.
- Hi.
187
00:10:56,498 --> 00:10:59,490
- Yo, P-Dawg.
- Ha, ha. What's up?
188
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:02,136
We're here to kidnap you
for a girls' night out.
189
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:06,104
Parenthetical, the term "kidnap"
is being used playfully.
190
00:11:06,608 --> 00:11:07,836
I kind of figured that.
191
00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:11,002
Good, now put this pillowcase
over your head.
192
00:11:12,514 --> 00:11:13,947
No.
193
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:17,449
She used to be much more fun
until Leonard punched her in the heart.
194
00:11:19,455 --> 00:11:22,982
We thought you might wanna go out,
have a good time, maybe go dancing.
195
00:11:23,192 --> 00:11:25,660
Oh, gee, thanks,
but I'm not really in the mood.
196
00:11:25,861 --> 00:11:27,692
You do understand it will distract you...
197
00:11:27,863 --> 00:11:30,354
...from obsessing
over the rich variety of sweet loving...
198
00:11:30,532 --> 00:11:33,990
...your ex-boyfriend is receiving
from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
199
00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:35,431
(SIGHS)
200
00:11:35,604 --> 00:11:37,902
Okay, look, if I agree to go out
with you guys...
201
00:11:38,107 --> 00:11:40,667
...will you stop pestering me
about Leonard and Priya?
202
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:42,241
- Yes.
- Sure.
203
00:11:42,478 --> 00:11:44,969
All right, I'll go change.
Come on in.
204
00:11:45,147 --> 00:11:48,913
If you'd have let me bring chloroform, we
wouldn't have had all this jibber jabber.
205
00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:56,051
Anyway, after snowboarding,
I go to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi.
206
00:11:56,225 --> 00:11:59,388
There's no one around,
so naturally I'm free-balling it.
207
00:12:00,863 --> 00:12:03,195
Next thing I know,
this beautiful chick shows up.
208
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:05,697
Drunk out of her skull,
wants to get in with me.
209
00:12:05,901 --> 00:12:10,270
Question. Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
210
00:12:10,506 --> 00:12:14,408
- Really, that's your question?
- What's the difference?
211
00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:18,579
Jacuzzi is a commercial brand,
hot tub is the generic term...
212
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:23,411
...i.e., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs
but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
213
00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:28,419
Is that like all thumbs are fingers
but not all fingers are thumbs?
214
00:12:29,258 --> 00:12:31,385
Surprisingly, yes.
215
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,155
Nice.
216
00:12:34,329 --> 00:12:36,559
Now, what exactly are toes?
217
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,693
Can you please
get back to the drunk girl?
218
00:12:40,869 --> 00:12:43,360
I'd like something to think about
in the shower.
219
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,462
Oh, yeah, right.
220
00:12:45,674 --> 00:12:48,040
She takes off all of her clothes,
climbs in the hot tub.
221
00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:51,441
- And the first thing I notice...
- The water level rose.
222
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,907
- No.
- Well, of course it did.
223
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,984
It's said that Archimedes,
the ancient Greek mathematician...
224
00:12:58,187 --> 00:13:01,816
...discovered the principle
of displacement while taking a bath.
225
00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:06,255
Terrific. Go ahead, Zack.
Naked drunk girl, free-balling, continue.
226
00:13:06,428 --> 00:13:07,895
Wait, forgive me...
227
00:13:08,063 --> 00:13:10,497
...but I think you'll find
my story is more interesting.
228
00:13:10,732 --> 00:13:13,064
Does yours have wet breasts in it?
229
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,429
Better, it has a gold crown.
230
00:13:16,638 --> 00:13:19,334
You see, the king wondered
how much gold was in it...
231
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:22,705
...and charged Archimedes
with coming up with the solution.
232
00:13:22,878 --> 00:13:26,473
The crown was irregularly shaped, there
was no way to determine its volume.
233
00:13:26,715 --> 00:13:29,309
But while bathing,
Archimedes realized...
234
00:13:29,485 --> 00:13:34,445
...he could immerse the crown
and measure the amount the water rose.
235
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,494
So long story short, I nailed her.
236
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,795
When he finished,
he shouted, "Eureka."
237
00:13:47,002 --> 00:13:48,663
No, I always shout, "Holy moly."
238
00:13:50,172 --> 00:13:52,868
Don't know why, just do.
239
00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:58,637
All right, that concludes the getting-
to-know-you portion of the evening.
240
00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:01,372
Now who's ready to play
some vintage video games?
241
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,313
Tonight's selections include...
242
00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:06,852
...ColecoVision's
"Smurf: Rescue in Gargamel's Castle"...
243
00:14:07,022 --> 00:14:08,956
...Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch"...
244
00:14:09,124 --> 00:14:14,187
...and for you
text-adventure aficionados, "Zork."
245
00:14:14,363 --> 00:14:17,161
(IN HIGH-PITCH VOICE)
Pick me, pick me, I'm fun.
246
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:23,060
That all sucks the big hairy meatball.
247
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,937
How about I get the karaoke machine
out of my car...
248
00:14:26,108 --> 00:14:28,576
...get plastered
and blow the roof off this place?
249
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:31,370
- Great, I'll make a beer run.
- And I'll take a shower.
250
00:14:31,547 --> 00:14:34,539
- We'll meet back here in 15.
- Check.
251
00:14:35,784 --> 00:14:38,378
(DOORS CLOSE)
252
00:14:38,554 --> 00:14:40,715
I'm unhappy.
253
00:14:42,391 --> 00:14:45,417
This is delicious.
Where did you learn to make chili?
254
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,825
When I was at university in England,
my flatmate was from Texas.
255
00:14:49,031 --> 00:14:51,226
I hope she wasn't anything
like my flatmate from Texas.
256
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,424
(CHUCKLES)
257
00:14:53,235 --> 00:14:54,896
Sheldon is a bit quirky, isn't he?
258
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:59,938
Oh, please, that crazy bastard is looking
at quirky in the rearview mirror.
259
00:15:02,744 --> 00:15:04,575
Did you know that per our
roommate agreement...
260
00:15:04,746 --> 00:15:06,839
...I have to wash my feet
before I get in the shower?
261
00:15:07,049 --> 00:15:10,246
And not in the sink,
we each have special buckets.
262
00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:11,443
(CHUCKLES)
263
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:14,748
Raj, did you tell your sister about the time
Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?
264
00:15:14,923 --> 00:15:16,948
- Oh, God, you're kidding.
RAJESH: Ha, ha. Nope.
265
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:20,561
Gates gave a speech at the university,
Sheldon went up to him and said:
266
00:15:20,729 --> 00:15:23,425
"Maybe if you weren't so distracted
by sick children in Africa...
267
00:15:23,599 --> 00:15:26,090
...you could have put a little
more thought into Windows Vista."
268
00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:28,236
(ALL LAUGHING)
269
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,105
Bam, right in the nose.
270
00:15:31,907 --> 00:15:34,535
Made me proud to own a PC.
271
00:15:34,743 --> 00:15:36,404
I'd like to propose a toast.
272
00:15:36,578 --> 00:15:39,274
To a rare and wonderful
Sheldon-free evening.
273
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,415
LEONARD: Hear, hear.
HOWARD: Cheers.
274
00:15:42,851 --> 00:15:44,785
That's the first time
we've ever done that...
275
00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:48,150
...without having Sheldon tell us
why it's called a toast.
276
00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:50,255
And why is it called a toast?
277
00:15:50,425 --> 00:15:53,485
Oh, the ancient Romans
put spiced toast in their punch bowls.
278
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,359
Sheldon tells it better.
279
00:15:59,735 --> 00:16:01,600
- He kind of does.
- Yeah.
280
00:16:03,739 --> 00:16:06,264
Oh, hell, I miss him.
281
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:13,170
- Where do you guys wanna go dancing?
- We were hoping you'd know a place.
282
00:16:13,415 --> 00:16:15,280
Yes, perhaps somewhere
packed tightly...
283
00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:18,112
...with young beautiful bodies,
sweating and writhing...
284
00:16:18,286 --> 00:16:21,312
...against each other
in a glorious orgy of the flesh.
285
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,821
Oh, yeah, I know that place.
286
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,119
What do you think?
287
00:16:26,328 --> 00:16:30,788
That should display enough bosom
to attract a new mate or a hungry infant.
288
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,891
Okay, let's go through this
one more time.
289
00:16:34,069 --> 00:16:35,934
Just because Leonard
has a new girlfriend...
290
00:16:36,104 --> 00:16:38,402
...doesn't mean I need to hook up
with some guy.
291
00:16:38,607 --> 00:16:41,667
- But you could if you wanted to, right?
- Well, yeah, I guess.
292
00:16:41,910 --> 00:16:43,707
Pick out the hottest guy
in the room...
293
00:16:43,912 --> 00:16:46,142
...take him home,
do unspeakable things to him.
294
00:16:46,314 --> 00:16:47,440
Kick him to the curb...
295
00:16:47,616 --> 00:16:50,983
...with a smile on his face
and teeth marks on his heinie?
296
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:53,813
More or less.
297
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:57,622
What's that like?
298
00:16:57,793 --> 00:16:59,954
PENNY: I don't know,
it's fun while you're doing it.
299
00:17:00,128 --> 00:17:04,622
And then after it's mostly embarrassment,
self-loathing and regret.
300
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:09,202
I would take that deal all day long.
301
00:17:09,371 --> 00:17:11,362
PENNY: Yeah, well,
it's not gonna happen tonight.
302
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:13,440
You know, for the first time in life...
303
00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:15,974
...l'm not in a relationship
and I'm totally okay with it.
304
00:17:16,144 --> 00:17:19,477
You know, if being on your own
is new to you, I'd be happy to share...
305
00:17:19,648 --> 00:17:24,210
...some tension-relieving techniques
for ladies I've perfected over the years.
306
00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:28,645
For example,
do you have an electric toothbrush?
307
00:17:30,225 --> 00:17:33,092
PENNY: Uh, no.
- You should get one.
308
00:17:34,896 --> 00:17:36,386
What's that?
309
00:17:36,565 --> 00:17:40,023
It appears to be something preserved
between two pieces of acrylic.
310
00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:43,762
PENNY: Oh, it's a snowflake from the north
pole. Leonard gave it to me last year.
311
00:17:43,972 --> 00:17:46,202
Oh, God, that is so romantic.
312
00:17:46,408 --> 00:17:48,273
Yeah, it was.
313
00:17:48,844 --> 00:17:50,835
Leonard's really one of a kind.
314
00:17:51,046 --> 00:17:54,709
Saying that while holding a snowflake
is a little heavy-handed, don't you think?
315
00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:56,975
Let me see that.
316
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,381
Oh, screw it.
I can deal with a little self-loathing.
317
00:18:02,557 --> 00:18:05,048
Let's go find me a heinie to bite.
318
00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:07,622
Outstanding. And if we fail...
319
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:12,199
...we always can stop at CVS
and pick you out a nice toothbrush.
320
00:18:12,701 --> 00:18:15,363
I call mine Gerard.
321
00:18:17,506 --> 00:18:19,701
That's kind of creepy.
322
00:18:21,943 --> 00:18:24,571
(SINGING)
Don't go breaking my heart
323
00:18:25,347 --> 00:18:26,974
I couldn't if I tried
324
00:18:29,184 --> 00:18:32,449
Oh, honey, if I get restless
325
00:18:32,621 --> 00:18:35,112
Baby, you're not that kind
326
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:40,854
Don't go breaking my heart
327
00:18:41,797 --> 00:18:44,925
Anybody do
"Walking on Sunshine" yet?
328
00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:48,532
- No.
- Dibs.
329
00:18:51,973 --> 00:18:56,103
I'm sorry, Sheldon bought a loom
and learned how to weave?
330
00:18:56,311 --> 00:19:00,042
He actually got pretty good.
He made us all matching serapes.
331
00:19:00,248 --> 00:19:03,115
I still wear mine
when there's a nip in the air.
332
00:19:04,085 --> 00:19:07,282
Now, was this before or after
he adopted the 25 cats?
333
00:19:07,489 --> 00:19:10,151
Long before the cats.
I think it was around the time...
334
00:19:10,325 --> 00:19:14,091
...he tried to declare our apartment
a sovereign nation.
335
00:19:14,262 --> 00:19:16,662
I still have some of the currency.
336
00:19:16,832 --> 00:19:17,856
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
337
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,126
SHELDON:
All my friends. All my friends.
338
00:19:21,069 --> 00:19:23,264
All my friends.
339
00:19:24,973 --> 00:19:28,807
I think it's like Beetlejuice.
We said his name too many times.
340
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,181
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
341
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,508
Hey, I thought you were
with your new buddies.
342
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:39,312
I had to leave.
They were having fun wrong.
343
00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:42,787
- Come here, Sheldon, sit with me.
- Thank you.
344
00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:46,450
Would you like some homemade chili?
345
00:19:46,628 --> 00:19:47,822
Are there beans in it?
346
00:19:48,663 --> 00:19:50,631
- Yes.
- Oh, then it's not chili.
347
00:19:50,799 --> 00:19:52,824
Real chili has no beans in it.
348
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:57,370
But you're from a foreign land,
so your ignorance is forgiven.
349
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:02,836
- Sheldon, do you want some or not?
- Yes, please.
350
00:20:03,511 --> 00:20:06,344
Your girlfriend's
a little short-tempered.
351
00:20:06,514 --> 00:20:09,381
I'd like to propose a toast.
352
00:20:09,618 --> 00:20:11,711
To friends, no matter how quirky.
353
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,911
ALL:
Cheers.
354
00:20:14,656 --> 00:20:18,387
Priya, do you know
why this is called a toast?
355
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:19,822
Actually, I do.
356
00:20:19,995 --> 00:20:24,056
I believe the Romans used to put
spiced toast in their punch bowls.
357
00:20:24,866 --> 00:20:27,198
She's also a bit of a know-it-all.
358
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,295
Mm.
359
00:20:30,472 --> 00:20:33,202
This is good. Whatever it is.
360
00:20:40,815 --> 00:20:43,283
(SINGING)
I'm walking on sunshine
361
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,713
Whoa
362
00:20:44,886 --> 00:20:47,252
- I'm walking on sunshine
- Whoa
363
00:20:47,422 --> 00:20:48,446
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
364
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,750
Hello, I...
365
00:20:53,662 --> 00:20:55,823
Oh, I don't think so.
366
00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:00,328
I am so done with Twitter.
30939
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