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1
00:00:03,357 --> 00:00:04,847
Hey, you guys ready to order?
2
00:00:05,359 --> 00:00:08,192
Since we come in
every Tuesday night at 6:00...
3
00:00:08,362 --> 00:00:11,798
...and order the same exact thing,
and it's now 6:08...
4
00:00:11,965 --> 00:00:14,456
...I believe your question
not only answers itself...
5
00:00:14,635 --> 00:00:18,036
...but also stands alongside
such other nonsensical queries as:
6
00:00:18,238 --> 00:00:19,535
"Who let the dogs out?"
7
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,538
And, uh, "How are they hanging?"
8
00:00:23,844 --> 00:00:27,507
Okay, so the usual with extra spit
on Sheldon's hamburger.
9
00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:31,780
Penny, a moment.
Do you have plans this weekend?
10
00:00:31,952 --> 00:00:34,318
Oh, gee, Amy, sorry,
I'm pretty busy this weekend.
11
00:00:34,488 --> 00:00:36,888
Probably serving food
that was ordered today.
12
00:00:38,158 --> 00:00:40,217
Too bad.
I was hoping you could be my plus one...
13
00:00:40,394 --> 00:00:42,794
...at the Institute
of Interdisciplinary Studies symposium...
14
00:00:42,963 --> 00:00:45,955
...on the impact of scientific research
on societal interactions.
15
00:00:47,701 --> 00:00:48,793
The what?
16
00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:51,831
It's an annual science conference.
17
00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:54,405
- We've all been invited to speak.
- Oh, okay.
18
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:56,668
Well, you know, like I said,
I have plans.
19
00:00:56,844 --> 00:01:00,507
Shame. Since you're my best friend,
it would be a bonding opportunity.
20
00:01:01,882 --> 00:01:03,247
I'm your best friend?
21
00:01:03,417 --> 00:01:04,975
Don't you read my blog?
22
00:01:05,886 --> 00:01:09,219
Oh, don't feel bad. I never read Leonard's,
and I used to sleep with him.
23
00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:15,988
Know anybody who would appreciate
an all-expense-paid spa weekend...
24
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,528
...at a resort in Big Sur?
25
00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:20,394
No, l... I'm sorry, free what?
Sorry, what...? What?
26
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:22,535
I think her weekend just opened up.
27
00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:25,664
Wait, wait. Just to be clear,
when you guys say spa...
28
00:01:25,839 --> 00:01:28,865
...does that mean the same thing
as when regular people say it?
29
00:01:29,042 --> 00:01:32,910
Pretty much, except we keep
our shirts on in the sauna.
30
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,743
You know, it is going to be difficult,
but I'm gonna cancel my plans...
31
00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:40,114
...so I can do this for my bestie.
- Please don't touch my breasts.
32
00:01:41,455 --> 00:01:42,888
I wasn't going to.
33
00:01:43,056 --> 00:01:45,581
All right.
I just want to establish boundaries.
34
00:01:45,926 --> 00:01:48,360
This is great.
I haven't had a vacation in ages.
35
00:01:48,529 --> 00:01:51,589
In order to take a vacation,
one first has to work.
36
00:01:52,366 --> 00:01:55,699
For a smart guy, you seem to have
a hard time grasping the concept:
37
00:01:55,869 --> 00:01:59,202
"Don't piss off the people
who handle the things you eat."
38
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,199
That does seem to be a valid principle.
39
00:02:02,876 --> 00:02:06,277
I trust Penny will adhere to the
Official California Restaurant Workers'...
40
00:02:06,447 --> 00:02:08,608
...Solemn Oath of Ethics
and Cleanliness.
41
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,776
I don't believe there's any such thing.
42
00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:14,780
You lied to me?
43
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,477
Good morning. If I could have
everyone's attention, please.
44
00:02:43,684 --> 00:02:46,482
I know we're all eager
to get on the road to Big Sur...
45
00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:50,714
...so if we focus, we can get through
this orientation in under a half an hour.
46
00:02:52,092 --> 00:02:54,322
Then it's just Q&A, quiz, safety drills...
47
00:02:54,495 --> 00:02:57,487
...pose for commemorative group photo,
and we're off.
48
00:02:57,664 --> 00:02:58,688
(PENNY SIGHS)
49
00:02:58,866 --> 00:03:02,597
Don't worry, just sit next to me during
the quiz and you can copy my answers.
50
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:04,834
Raj, what are you doing?
51
00:03:05,939 --> 00:03:07,338
I don't think so.
52
00:03:08,075 --> 00:03:10,305
You've had your allotted 6 ounces.
53
00:03:10,477 --> 00:03:15,915
The first bathroom break isn't until
the Denny's located near Bakersfield...
54
00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,978
...which is approximately
two and a half hours away.
55
00:03:19,152 --> 00:03:22,986
Remember, people, we're only as strong
as our weakest bladder.
56
00:03:23,156 --> 00:03:24,282
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
57
00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:28,622
Nobody cares about
your Kegel exercises.
58
00:03:28,795 --> 00:03:32,663
All right,
we have seven people and two cars.
59
00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:35,666
In the lead car, driven by Leonard...
60
00:03:35,836 --> 00:03:39,101
...will be myself...
61
00:03:39,273 --> 00:03:43,334
...Amy Farrah Fowler and Penny.
62
00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:44,977
Yes.
63
00:03:46,446 --> 00:03:49,279
He had you in the other car,
but I got you upgraded.
64
00:03:50,384 --> 00:03:51,681
Yay.
65
00:03:51,852 --> 00:03:54,844
She made the case that if we break down
in the middle of nowhere...
66
00:03:55,022 --> 00:03:57,718
...your Nebraska backwoods skills
and brawny hands...
67
00:03:57,891 --> 00:04:00,883
...will give us the best chance
to survive in the wild.
68
00:04:01,261 --> 00:04:02,853
Brawny?
69
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,362
They're bigger than mine.
70
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,265
Red Leader to Red Five, come in.
71
00:04:12,005 --> 00:04:14,838
Red Leader to Red Five, come in.
72
00:04:15,409 --> 00:04:17,809
Howard, you promised.
73
00:04:19,012 --> 00:04:21,480
HOWARD (OVER RADIO):
Fine. Red Five to Red Leader.
74
00:04:21,648 --> 00:04:24,310
- What do you want now?
- It's 11:15.
75
00:04:24,484 --> 00:04:27,647
I'm requesting
your quarter-hourly location update.
76
00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:29,584
HOWARD:
Still right behind you.
77
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,883
Copy that, Red Five.
78
00:04:32,726 --> 00:04:36,184
Radio contact is sufficient.
No need to extend your middle finger.
79
00:04:38,932 --> 00:04:41,332
So, Amy, I've been wondering,
are you and Sheldon...
80
00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:43,366
...gonna be sharing a room?
81
00:04:43,804 --> 00:04:45,101
No, we discussed it.
82
00:04:45,305 --> 00:04:47,500
We didn't wanna jeopardize
our relationship...
83
00:04:47,674 --> 00:04:50,040
...by getting to know each other
too well.
84
00:04:50,577 --> 00:04:53,910
Indeed. Nothing sours a friendship more
than over-familiarity...
85
00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:56,709
...with someone's toilet routine.
86
00:04:56,883 --> 00:04:59,215
- I can vouch for that.
- Hey.
87
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,786
- Not you, him.
- Oh, thanks.
88
00:05:01,955 --> 00:05:04,856
Although yours was an eye-opener.
89
00:05:07,561 --> 00:05:10,928
Don't worry, Penny. You're my plus one.
You'll bunk with me.
90
00:05:11,098 --> 00:05:15,933
And FYI, travel makes me constipated,
so I'm the ideal hotel roommate.
91
00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:18,302
Terrific.
92
00:05:18,472 --> 00:05:20,235
Are we there yet?
93
00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:25,106
I hope we get there in time
to see the keynote address.
94
00:05:25,579 --> 00:05:27,479
Really? You wanna see the keynote?
95
00:05:27,648 --> 00:05:29,138
Yeah, it sounds fun.
96
00:05:29,349 --> 00:05:34,446
Super Bacteria: Global Apocalypse
or Exciting Research Opportunity?
97
00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:39,519
Actually, I was thinking we could go
straight to the room and take a nap.
98
00:05:39,693 --> 00:05:40,717
(HOWARD CHUCKLES)
99
00:05:40,894 --> 00:05:42,987
Oh, really? And miss the keynote?
100
00:05:43,163 --> 00:05:45,290
Well, we can watch it later
on C-SPAN.
101
00:05:45,465 --> 00:05:48,059
Besides, I was really looking forward
to you and me...
102
00:05:48,235 --> 00:05:49,998
...napping together in the hotel.
103
00:05:50,404 --> 00:05:54,465
Well, honey, if you're that tired, why
don't you just take a nap here in the car?
104
00:05:55,008 --> 00:05:56,032
No, see, it's not...
105
00:05:56,209 --> 00:05:57,233
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
106
00:05:57,411 --> 00:05:59,879
Hang on. It's Leonard. Hi, Leonard.
107
00:06:00,047 --> 00:06:02,948
LEONARD (OVER SPEAKERPHONE):
Yeah, hi. Listen, I just got a text from Raj.
108
00:06:03,116 --> 00:06:06,244
He wanted me to tell you that
when Howard says "nap" he means "sex."
109
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:07,580
Oh.
110
00:06:08,789 --> 00:06:10,814
Thank you, Raj.
111
00:06:13,126 --> 00:06:16,254
Are you an element
in the actinoid series?
112
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:18,830
No. Amy?
113
00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:21,993
Are you usually radioactive
when found in nature?
114
00:06:22,169 --> 00:06:24,501
- No.
- Are you in the lanthanoid series?
115
00:06:24,671 --> 00:06:26,332
Amy, it's Penny's turn.
116
00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:31,310
- Penny?
- Uh, I don't know.
117
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,911
Are you food?
118
00:06:35,982 --> 00:06:37,609
That's not apropos.
119
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:40,981
We've already established
I'm found on the periodic table.
120
00:06:41,154 --> 00:06:44,612
Well, it's a table, right?
I mean, why can't there be food on it?
121
00:06:45,926 --> 00:06:48,451
I knew she wasn't lead car material.
122
00:06:48,628 --> 00:06:50,858
Oh, who elected you road trip god?
123
00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:53,056
- Leonard?
PENNY: Ugh.
124
00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:55,531
It was a late-night vote.
125
00:06:56,870 --> 00:07:00,203
We were all exhausted
and he was threatening to filibuster.
126
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:03,738
It's not technically road trip god.
It's travel supervisor.
127
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:07,844
Although "road trip god"
does have a certain ring to it.
128
00:07:08,014 --> 00:07:11,006
I don't understand why you people
let him bully you like this.
129
00:07:11,184 --> 00:07:14,210
Someone should stand up to him.
What's he gonna do?
130
00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:19,348
I can't believe you let him
kick me out of the car.
131
00:07:19,726 --> 00:07:22,695
What could we do?
He's the travel supervisor.
132
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:26,064
Don't worry, Penny.
This is a better car anyway.
133
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,895
Yeah, it's the love car. Ha, ha.
134
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:31,230
Should I ask?
135
00:07:32,105 --> 00:07:35,131
(SINGING)
They say we're young and we don't know
136
00:07:35,308 --> 00:07:40,245
We won't find out until we grow
137
00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:43,246
(SINGING)
Well, I don't know if all that's true
138
00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:48,444
'Cause you got me and, baby, I got you
139
00:07:48,622 --> 00:07:51,250
- Babe
- Da-da, da-da, da-da
140
00:07:51,424 --> 00:07:52,823
I got you, babe
141
00:07:52,993 --> 00:07:54,688
Red Leader, I'm really sorry.
142
00:07:54,861 --> 00:07:56,761
I got you, babe
143
00:07:58,265 --> 00:08:04,067
HOWARD & BERNADETTE (SINGING):
I got you, babe
144
00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:10,072
I missed you.
145
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,410
You know what? I missed you too.
146
00:08:14,614 --> 00:08:15,706
Bernadette?
147
00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:18,040
Oh, my God, Glenn.
148
00:08:18,218 --> 00:08:19,742
Ha, ha. Great to see you.
149
00:08:20,153 --> 00:08:23,554
- Are you here for the conference?
- I'm doing a global warming panel.
150
00:08:23,723 --> 00:08:26,590
Oh, good for you.
Glenn, this is my boyfriend, Howard.
151
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,593
- Oh. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Ha, ha.
152
00:08:29,763 --> 00:08:31,162
Ow. Hi.
153
00:08:32,065 --> 00:08:34,795
You're a lucky man. Bernie's a great gal.
154
00:08:35,335 --> 00:08:38,168
Yes, Bernie sure is.
155
00:08:38,338 --> 00:08:40,329
I gotta run.
The panel's tomorrow morning.
156
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,735
It's called
Remembering Snow: A Look Back.
157
00:08:42,909 --> 00:08:45,104
Oh. I'll try to catch it.
158
00:08:45,278 --> 00:08:48,247
GLENN: Oh, great. Bye.
- Bye.
159
00:08:51,251 --> 00:08:53,583
Hey, Bernie?
160
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,079
- Yeah?
- Please tell me he's your gay cousin.
161
00:08:59,292 --> 00:09:02,887
Oh. No. He was one of
my professors in college.
162
00:09:03,063 --> 00:09:07,159
- Oh. Well, that's a relief. Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha. Then we went out for a year.
163
00:09:08,969 --> 00:09:11,335
Come on, let's check in
so we can take that nap.
164
00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:15,031
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
165
00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:18,268
No, it's not necessarily proportional.
Shut up.
166
00:09:24,351 --> 00:09:28,253
That green bag is Dr. Cooper's.
Here's an extra 5. Make him wait.
167
00:09:28,421 --> 00:09:29,615
(HOWARD CLEARS THROAT)
168
00:09:32,626 --> 00:09:33,650
Oh.
169
00:09:33,827 --> 00:09:36,091
Right to the nap, huh? Okay.
170
00:09:37,697 --> 00:09:39,927
So this Glenn guy...
171
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,591
...you say you went out with him
for like a year.
172
00:09:42,769 --> 00:09:44,600
We need to talk
about my old boyfriend now?
173
00:09:45,071 --> 00:09:46,834
No, ha, ha, I guess not.
174
00:09:47,007 --> 00:09:48,804
(HOWARD CHUCKLING)
175
00:09:48,975 --> 00:09:51,443
What is he, like 6'4"or 6'5"?
176
00:09:51,611 --> 00:09:54,079
- Six-seven.
- Oh.
177
00:09:54,247 --> 00:09:57,273
Probably has a hard time
finding a suit that fits.
178
00:09:58,852 --> 00:10:01,446
- Is something bothering you?
- No, it's just...
179
00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:03,248
- What?
- I'm just thinking...
180
00:10:03,423 --> 00:10:07,120
...if you had sex with that guy,
I mean, there's nothing I can do here...
181
00:10:07,294 --> 00:10:10,855
...that will make any kind of impact.
182
00:10:12,399 --> 00:10:15,800
Howard, it's not a contest.
I love you. I wanna be with you.
183
00:10:16,002 --> 00:10:18,266
Yeah, great, love you too, but...
184
00:10:19,906 --> 00:10:24,366
If it were a contest,
I wouldn't have a chance, right?
185
00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:28,742
- You can't think that way.
- Yep, loser.
186
00:10:31,251 --> 00:10:32,650
Howard, stop it.
187
00:10:32,819 --> 00:10:36,448
Sorry, I never figured that a guy like me
going out with a girl like you...
188
00:10:36,623 --> 00:10:39,057
...would have to compete
with a guy like that.
189
00:10:40,627 --> 00:10:43,391
Wait a minute, a girl like me?
What's that mean?
190
00:10:49,202 --> 00:10:50,499
- Um, l...
- Are you saying...
191
00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:53,264
...l'm not hot enough to go out
with a guy like Glenn?
192
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,341
No. No.
I'm saying exactly the opposite.
193
00:10:56,543 --> 00:10:58,977
I'm too hot to go out with a guy
like Glenn?
194
00:11:00,947 --> 00:11:02,915
Yeah, let's go with that.
195
00:11:04,651 --> 00:11:07,119
(TOILET FLUSHES)
196
00:11:10,657 --> 00:11:12,557
Still nothing.
197
00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:16,085
Remind me to try again in an hour.
198
00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:18,297
Will do.
199
00:11:18,665 --> 00:11:20,326
So...
200
00:11:22,469 --> 00:11:23,697
Girl talk?
201
00:11:25,138 --> 00:11:27,368
Um, sure. What do you got in mind?
202
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,709
Do you subscribe
to the Freudian theory of penis envy?
203
00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:36,507
Um, I've never really thought about it.
Why?
204
00:11:36,683 --> 00:11:39,379
Sometimes,
I think it might be nice to have one.
205
00:11:39,953 --> 00:11:43,218
- Really.
- Not for sex, for convenience.
206
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,519
You can't deny that by comparison...
207
00:11:45,692 --> 00:11:48,388
...our internal plumbing
is extremely high-maintenance.
208
00:11:49,529 --> 00:11:52,464
Again, I've never given it much thought.
209
00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:55,493
We have time now. Think about it.
210
00:11:57,003 --> 00:11:58,027
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
211
00:11:58,204 --> 00:11:59,933
Oh, good.
212
00:12:03,476 --> 00:12:05,307
- Hey.
- Can I stay here tonight?
213
00:12:05,478 --> 00:12:08,970
- Yeah. Why, what happened?
- Howard's a complete and total ass.
214
00:12:09,149 --> 00:12:10,616
Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.
215
00:12:12,318 --> 00:12:14,582
Thanks, I'll sleep on the floor.
216
00:12:14,754 --> 00:12:18,053
Not necessary. Penny and I
are perfectly comfortable sharing a bed.
217
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,722
- We are?
- Of course. We're best friends.
218
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:25,524
Oh, right, right. The blog.
219
00:12:26,032 --> 00:12:28,592
Word of warning, though.
I'm prone to night terrors.
220
00:12:28,768 --> 00:12:30,929
If I wake up kicking and screaming,
don't panic.
221
00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:33,503
Just pin me down and stroke my hair,
I'll be fine.
222
00:12:40,146 --> 00:12:41,773
- Hey, can I stay here tonight?
- Shh, shh.
223
00:12:41,948 --> 00:12:44,940
Sheldon's asleep. What's going on?
224
00:12:45,118 --> 00:12:48,110
Howard's a complete and total ass,
Bernadette's in my bed...
225
00:12:48,288 --> 00:12:51,780
...and no matter how much
you stroke Amy's hair, she bites.
226
00:12:52,459 --> 00:12:54,654
- What?
- Never mind. Can I stay here or not?
227
00:12:54,828 --> 00:12:57,262
- Um, sure.
PENNY: All right.
228
00:13:01,968 --> 00:13:04,027
(WHISPERS)
How do you wanna do this?
229
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:06,229
(WHISPERS)
Well, I'm not getting in bed with him.
230
00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:10,670
Yeah, it is a little like
getting into Dracula's coffin.
231
00:13:11,711 --> 00:13:14,680
All right, we're just gonna have to
make the best of this.
232
00:13:15,715 --> 00:13:17,580
Okay, when you say,
"Make the best of..."
233
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:19,308
- Sleep.
- Right.
234
00:13:21,154 --> 00:13:22,178
(PENNY SIGHS)
235
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:24,983
So we'll just call the middle here
the Neutral Zone.
236
00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:26,724
The what?
237
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,053
Star Trek.
238
00:13:29,329 --> 00:13:32,924
You know, the Neutral Zone between
the Federation and the Romulan Empire.
239
00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:34,491
Oh, okay.
240
00:13:35,068 --> 00:13:37,559
Just like old times.
241
00:13:43,076 --> 00:13:44,907
Of course...
242
00:13:45,311 --> 00:13:47,336
...sometimes the Federation
and Romulans...
243
00:13:47,514 --> 00:13:51,143
...would enter the Neutral Zone
to negotiate a temporary truce.
244
00:13:52,085 --> 00:13:54,849
Okay, sweetie, let me put this
in a way you'll understand.
245
00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:57,785
From the waist down,
my shields are up.
246
00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:01,518
Got it, got it.
247
00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:07,995
We can do all kinds of stuff
from the waist up, you know.
248
00:14:08,368 --> 00:14:10,165
- Go to sleep.
- Good night.
249
00:14:10,336 --> 00:14:11,963
(LEONARD SIGHS)
250
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,468
Please tell me
you're not having coitus.
251
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:24,539
We are not having coitus.
252
00:14:24,751 --> 00:14:27,379
Can you guarantee that it won't happen
during the night?
253
00:14:27,554 --> 00:14:29,351
PENNY: Yes.
- No.
254
00:14:32,192 --> 00:14:35,184
(HUMMING)
255
00:14:40,867 --> 00:14:44,826
MAN (ON TV): Next on Turner Classic
Movies: Bridget Jones's Diary.
256
00:14:45,004 --> 00:14:48,405
Oh, my God. I'm crying already.
257
00:14:49,509 --> 00:14:50,533
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
258
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:53,076
SHELDON:
Raj. Raj.
259
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:54,403
Raj.
260
00:14:54,581 --> 00:14:55,707
(SIGHS)
261
00:14:59,285 --> 00:15:02,254
- I need to sleep here tonight.
- Why?
262
00:15:02,422 --> 00:15:05,550
Howard's a complete and total ass,
Bernadette's in Penny's bed...
263
00:15:05,725 --> 00:15:09,923
...Amy bites, and Penny may or may not
have coitus with Leonard.
264
00:15:10,863 --> 00:15:12,831
Okay, come on in.
265
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,494
- Leonard, you asleep?
- No.
266
00:15:19,939 --> 00:15:23,431
- I appreciate you letting me stay here.
- Sure, no problem.
267
00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:25,274
I know it's kind of weird.
268
00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:27,174
True dat.
269
00:15:27,814 --> 00:15:29,748
"True dat"?
270
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:33,113
I've gotten a lot more street
since we broke up.
271
00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:34,753
(LAUGHS)
272
00:15:35,922 --> 00:15:37,913
Right.
273
00:15:38,124 --> 00:15:39,853
Still mad at me about that?
274
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,859
No. No, I understand.
275
00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:45,530
I got too intense, you had to back off.
276
00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:48,124
Thank you.
277
00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:50,960
I've gotten a lot better at that, you know?
278
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:55,633
I've dated four women since we
broke up, and I didn't tell any of them...
279
00:15:55,842 --> 00:15:58,970
...that I loved them
and wanted to have their babies.
280
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:01,642
Good for you.
281
00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:06,583
- Okay, good night.
- Good night.
282
00:16:09,856 --> 00:16:13,815
You know, maybe it wouldn't be
the worst idea in the world...
283
00:16:13,993 --> 00:16:17,087
...to violate the Neutral Zone
for just one night.
284
00:16:17,263 --> 00:16:18,457
Oh.
285
00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:24,295
Leonard, Sheldon kicked me out
of the room and gave me your key.
286
00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:26,663
Penny's here.
287
00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,467
(RAJESH WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
288
00:16:31,644 --> 00:16:35,410
No, we don't wanna watch
Bridget Jones's Diary.
289
00:16:41,454 --> 00:16:45,015
Good morning,
and welcome to Science and Society.
290
00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:52,029
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
B.S., M.S., MA, Ph.D., and Sc.D.
291
00:16:52,198 --> 00:16:53,995
OMG, right?
292
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:55,429
(SHELDON LAUGHS)
293
00:16:57,437 --> 00:17:00,338
Perhaps that joke was a little
hippie dippie for this crowd.
294
00:17:00,506 --> 00:17:03,031
All right, then,
we'll begin with opening remarks.
295
00:17:03,209 --> 00:17:06,178
Miss Rostenkowski,
would you like to start us off...
296
00:17:06,346 --> 00:17:10,783
...by discussing your assessment
of science's responsibility to society?
297
00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:12,144
Sure.
298
00:17:12,318 --> 00:17:16,118
I think all branches of science
have to move cautiously these days.
299
00:17:16,289 --> 00:17:19,816
It's not just giant nuclear weapons
that can destroy the world.
300
00:17:19,992 --> 00:17:23,792
As a microbiologist, I can tell you
even the tiniest organisms...
301
00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:26,625
...can still tear you a new one.
302
00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:34,200
Interesting. I think what you might need
to know about my colleague...
303
00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:38,708
...is that though she claims her field
of interest is tiny organisms...
304
00:17:38,878 --> 00:17:41,813
...she certainly has spent
her fair share of time...
305
00:17:41,981 --> 00:17:46,543
...around what we can assume
was pretty massive weaponry.
306
00:17:49,222 --> 00:17:53,420
I think Mr. Wolowitz needs to keep
in mind that the past is the past.
307
00:17:53,593 --> 00:17:56,585
But he should know that I am
the kind of girl who could get...
308
00:17:56,763 --> 00:17:59,254
...all the giant missiles she wants.
309
00:18:02,702 --> 00:18:04,727
Are we talking
about women wanting penises?
310
00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:06,701
Because I'd like to weigh in.
311
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,208
Dr. Koothrappali,
would you care to join the conversation?
312
00:18:17,383 --> 00:18:19,783
Well, certainly.
I'd like to raise two points.
313
00:18:19,986 --> 00:18:23,752
Number one,
I think they are talking about penises.
314
00:18:25,858 --> 00:18:30,056
And number two, these mimosas
are kicking my little brown ass.
315
00:18:32,698 --> 00:18:36,725
- I'd like to kick your little brown ass.
- What did I do?
316
00:18:37,036 --> 00:18:40,233
Oh, I don't know. Maybe when you walk
into a hotel room...
317
00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:43,204
...and you see a guy getting back
with his girlfriend...
318
00:18:43,376 --> 00:18:47,472
...consider doing something other
than crawling into the adjoining bed.
319
00:18:47,647 --> 00:18:50,514
I did. You said, "No Bridget Jones."
320
00:18:51,717 --> 00:18:56,211
PENNY: We weren't getting back together.
It was a one-time thing.
321
00:18:56,456 --> 00:19:00,620
Excuse me, we're not taking comments
or questions from the audience just yet.
322
00:19:00,793 --> 00:19:03,318
PENNY:
Oh, shut up, Sheldon.
323
00:19:03,529 --> 00:19:05,156
Hi, bestie.
324
00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:06,821
PENNY:
Yeah, hi.
325
00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:09,627
Why don't we see
if we can bring this back to topic?
326
00:19:09,802 --> 00:19:12,794
- Let me ask you something, Bernie.
- I guess not.
327
00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:15,596
How would you feel
if you met my ex-girlfriend...
328
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:18,335
...and she was like Angelina Jolie?
329
00:19:18,544 --> 00:19:21,741
Oh, come on, Howard, be realistic.
330
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:27,951
What, I'm not hot enough
for Angelina Jolie?
331
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,486
I'd like to weigh in here.
332
00:19:31,090 --> 00:19:32,114
No.
333
00:19:35,194 --> 00:19:37,628
Why don't we open it up to Q&A
from the audience?
334
00:19:37,797 --> 00:19:40,357
PENNY: Yeah. Is there anybody
who can get me out of here...
335
00:19:40,566 --> 00:19:43,160
...and back to Los Angeles tonight?
336
00:19:43,336 --> 00:19:45,861
GLENN:
I'm driving back to L.A. Tonight.
337
00:19:49,075 --> 00:19:50,372
Uh, Penny, that's Glenn.
338
00:19:50,576 --> 00:19:53,101
- Glenn, that's Penny.
- No!
339
00:20:02,321 --> 00:20:04,186
SHELDON (OVER RADIO):
Red Leader to Red Five.
340
00:20:04,357 --> 00:20:06,655
Red Leader to Red Five.
341
00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:10,462
Anybody up for a little game?
342
00:20:11,731 --> 00:20:17,692
I spy with my little eye
a non-ferrous metal.
343
00:20:20,373 --> 00:20:22,238
(RAJESH VOMITS)
344
00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:26,134
Must be out of range.
345
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,040
- Leonard, can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
346
00:20:30,216 --> 00:20:33,310
Are you bothered by the fact
that your former girlfriend left...
347
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:37,115
...with what is probably the most
beautiful man I've ever seen in my life?
348
00:20:38,257 --> 00:20:40,054
No. Why do you ask?
349
00:20:40,226 --> 00:20:43,992
Because we're going
120 miles per hour.
350
00:20:45,498 --> 00:20:50,197
All right, if no one's going to guess,
I was spying the aluminum rims...
351
00:20:50,369 --> 00:20:52,860
...on the police car we passed
a few miles back.
352
00:20:53,039 --> 00:20:55,405
(SIREN WAILING)
29379
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