All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 02x11 - The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:04,753 Your argument is lacking in all scientific merit. 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,505 And it is well-established... 3 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:10,009 ...Superman cleans his uniform by flying into Earth's yellow sun... 4 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,261 ...which incinerates any contaminant matter... 5 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,765 ...and leaves the invulnerable Kryptonian fabric unharmed and daisy fresh. 6 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,060 What if he gets something Kryptonian on it? 7 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:24,148 - Like what? - I don't know. Kryptonian mustard. 8 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,401 I think we can assume all Kryptonian condiments were destroyed... 9 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,154 ...when the planet Krypton exploded. 10 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,281 Or it turned into mustard Kryptonite. 11 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:36,618 The only way to destroy a rogue Kryptonian hot dog threatening Earth. 12 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:40,122 Raj, please, let's stay serious here. 13 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,834 Superman's body is Kryptonian, therefore his sweat is Kryptonian. 14 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,503 Yeah, what about Kryptonian pit stains? 15 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,756 Superman doesn't sweat on Earth. 16 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,633 Okay. He's invited for dinner in the bottle city of Kandor. 17 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:55,220 He miniaturizes himself, enters the city, where he loses his super-powers. 18 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:58,474 Before dinner, his host says, "Who's up for Kryptonian tetherball?" 19 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:01,852 Superman works up a sweat, comes back to Earth, his uniform now stained... 20 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,605 ...with indestructible Kryptonian perspiration. 21 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,318 Booyah. 22 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:14,448 Superman would have taken his uniform to a Kandorian dry-cleaner... 23 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,742 ...before he left the bottle. 24 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,663 Kandorian dry-cl...? I give up. You can't have a rational argument with this man. 25 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:26,543 Hey, isn't that the guy who won the MacArthur genius grant last year? 26 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,505 No, not all at once. 27 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:32,800 - Then how? - Leonard. 28 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:35,969 Now Raj. 29 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,389 Now Sheldon. 30 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,894 - I didn't get a good look. Can I go again? - No. 31 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:47,064 - That's David Underhill. So what? - So what? 32 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:50,776 His observation of high-energy positrons has provided the first evidence... 33 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,028 ...for the existence of galactic dark matter. 34 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:56,615 I have two words for you. The first is "big," the other's "whoop." 35 00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,994 It is a big whoop. Made almost all the work you've done completely useless. 36 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,038 - Did not. - Did too. 37 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,582 Okay, maybe some of it. But... 38 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,085 The guy was just in the right place at the right time... 39 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,963 ...with the right paradigm-shifting reinterpretation of the universe. 40 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,006 He got lucky. 41 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:14,591 In more ways than one. 42 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,511 He's a very handsome man. 43 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,430 Doesn't do anything for me. If I was gonna go that way... 44 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:23,600 ...I'm more of a Zac Efron kind of guy. 45 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,980 Oh, yeah. Like you have a shot with Zac Efron. 46 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,109 Excuse me. Are you Leonard Hofstadter? 47 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,611 - Uh, yeah. - I'm David Underhill. 48 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,948 Uh, yeah. Heh, heh. 49 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:41,326 Dr. Gablehauser said if I wanted to set up something in the lab... 50 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,453 ...that you'd be able to give me a hand? 51 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:46,039 - You wanna work with me? - If you have time, yeah. 52 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:50,502 Wow. Yeah, sure. Yeah, no problem. 53 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:54,965 Um, here's my home number, here's my cell, here's my office... 54 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,135 ...here's my parents' number up in New Jersey. 55 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,845 - They know how to reach me. DAVID: Okay. 56 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,015 Congratulations on the MacArthur grant, by the way. Big fan. 57 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,142 Thanks. I'll call you. 58 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,768 Okay. 59 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,228 Bye-bye. 60 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,111 What are you looking at? You've never seen a hypocrite before? 61 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,722 Trailing badly, Wolowitz needs a strike... 62 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,183 ...if he has hopes of catching up with Sheldon... 63 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:51,396 ...who is dominating in the ninth frame with a career-best 68. 64 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,365 LEONARD: Hey, guys. 65 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,243 That doesn't count. Do-over, do-over. 66 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:07,329 There are no do-overs in Wii bowling. 67 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:11,667 There are always do-overs when my people play sports. 68 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,003 Where were you that's more important than Wii bowling night? 69 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,005 - Actually, I... - It's a rhetorical question. 70 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,841 There is nothing more important than Wii bowling night. 71 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,928 Come on, it's just a video game and we suck at it. 72 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,137 [SHELDON GASPS] 73 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:27,349 Nice motivational speech from the team captain. 74 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,019 - Where were you? - I was working with Dave Underhill. 75 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:35,274 Ooh, "Dave." Sounds like Leonard's got a new BFF. 76 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,653 Actually, he is pretty cool. I mean, not only is he a brilliant scientist... 77 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,281 ...but it turns out he's a black-diamond skier... 78 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,534 ...he collects vintage motorcycles, he plays in a rock band. 79 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:49,413 - So? We're in a rock band. - No. 80 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,874 We play "Rock Band" on our Xbox. 81 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,962 Nice motivational speech from our lead guitarist. 82 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,171 He's funny too. 83 00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:03,010 He does this hysterical impersonation of Stephen Hawking having phone sex. 84 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,388 [AS STEPHEN HAWKING] What are you wearing? 85 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,891 [IN NORMAL VOICE] That's not... He does it better. 86 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:14,479 He said he was gonna take me to the gym so I'm gonna go practice my sit-ups. 87 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,567 Wow. Humongous man crush, dude. 88 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,944 Yup, it's officially a bromance. 89 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,279 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 90 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,574 Hey, Sheldon. Are you and Leonard putting up a Christmas tree? 91 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:29,786 No, because we don't celebrate the ancient pagan festival of Saturnalia. 92 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,414 Saturnalia? 93 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:37,627 Gather around, kids. It's time for Sheldon's beloved Christmas special. 94 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:43,050 In the pre-Christian era, as the winter solstice approached and the plants died... 95 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:47,095 ...pagans brought evergreen boughs in their homes as an act of sympathetic magic... 96 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,474 ...intended to guard the life essences of the plants until spring. 97 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,101 This custom was appropriated by northern Europeans... 98 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:56,271 ...and, eventually, it becomes the so-called Christmas tree. 99 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,985 And that, Charlie Brown, is what boredom is all about. 100 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:07,491 Okay, well, thank you for that. I got you and Leonard silly neighbor gifts... 101 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:10,494 - ...so I'll just put them under my tree. - Wait. 102 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,829 - You bought me a present? - Uh-huh. 103 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,956 Why would you do such a thing? 104 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,460 - I don't know. Because it's Christmas? - Oh, Penny. 105 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,212 I know you think you're being generous... 106 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,964 ...but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. 107 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:27,177 You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation. 108 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:31,306 Don't feel bad, Penny. It's a classic rookie mistake. 109 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,643 My first Hanukkah with Sheldon, he yelled at me for eight nights. 110 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,147 It's okay. You don't have to get me anything. 111 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:43,318 Of course I do. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go and purchase... 112 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:47,197 ...a gift of commensurate value and representing the same level of friendship... 113 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,367 ...as that represented by the gift you've given me. 114 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,703 It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year. 115 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,706 Okay, forget it, I'm not giving you a present. 116 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:59,835 No, it's too late. I see it. That elf sticker says "To Sheldon." 117 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,839 The die has been cast. The moving finger has writ. 118 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,882 Hannibal has crossed the Alps. 119 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,221 I know. It's funny when it's not happening to us. 120 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:17,519 - Sheldon, I am very, very sorry. - No, no. I brought this on myself... 121 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:21,106 ...by being such an endearing and important part of your life. 122 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,693 I'm going to need a ride to the mall. 123 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,029 It's happening to us. 124 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,492 LEONARD: Ow. Ow. 125 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,203 DAVID: Are you gonna make it? - Yeah, I guess. 126 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:40,000 Thanks for letting me try out your motorcycle. 127 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:44,379 - No problem. - I had no idea it was so heavy. 128 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,632 Thing just fell right over on me, didn't it? Heh. 129 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,552 Yeah. Lucky for you it wasn't moving. 130 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,555 - Oh, hey, Leonard. Ooh, are you okay? - Oh, yeah. 131 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,057 It's just a little motorcycle accident. 132 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,893 Oh, my God. How fast were you going? 133 00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,854 I don't know. It was all such a blur. 134 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,063 [CHUCKLES] 135 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,065 Good one. He couldn't even get it started. 136 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,737 - Hi. Dave. - Hi. Penny. So it's your motorcycle? 137 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,490 - Uh-huh. - Oh. Is it okay? 138 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,410 Lucky for the bike it landed on my leg. 139 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,914 - Mind giving me a hand with Speed Racer? - Oh, yeah. Sure. 140 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,416 So, um, Dave, how do you know Leonard? 141 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,086 - I'm a physicist. - Ha, ha. No, you're not. 142 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,964 DAVID: Why is that so surprising? 143 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:33,428 PENNY: Well, it's just that the physicists I know are indoors-y and pale. 144 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,347 LEONARD: I'm not indoors-y. 145 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,518 I just wear the appropriate sun block because I don't take melanoma lightly. 146 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,312 So are you and Leonard working on an experiment together? 147 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,023 - Yeah, we are. - We're examining the radiation levels... 148 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,984 ...of photomultiplier tubes for a new dark-matter detector. 149 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,779 Sweetie, sweetie, Dave was talking. 150 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,156 You know, I love science. 151 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,534 - Since when? - Since always. 152 00:08:55,993 --> 00:09:00,622 Call me a geek, but I am just nuts for the whole subatomic-particle thing. 153 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,375 DAVID: The last thing I would ever call you is a geek. 154 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,170 Oh, well, that's what I am. Queen of the nerds. 155 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,215 Hey, if you'd like, I could show you the lab we're working in. 156 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,884 We've got some cool toys, you know. Lasers and stuff. 157 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,429 You know, I have always wanted to see a big science lab. 158 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,140 - Since when? - Since always. 159 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,809 Leonard, are you okay here? 160 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,061 - Yeah, I guess. - How about we go see it now? 161 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,398 Afterwards, we take the bike up the coast, we grab a bite to eat? 162 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,443 Um, yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Let me just get my jacket. 163 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,822 [DOOR CLOSES] 164 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,074 Boy, she'll do, huh? 165 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,703 Yeah, if you like that type. 166 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,830 So you and her...? 167 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,165 - No, just neighbors. - Really? 168 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,253 I don't know how you live next door to that without doing something about it. 169 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,214 Actually... 170 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,883 ...science is my lady. 171 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,721 - Okay. Let's go. - All right. 172 00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,056 - See you tomorrow, Leonard. - See you. 173 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:02,684 Bye, Penny. Have fun. 174 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,024 SHELDON: Yes? 175 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,617 Did you forget your key? 176 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,797 Well, I don't see anything in here a woman would want. 177 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:38,053 You're kidding. You've got lotions and bath oils and soaps. 178 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,389 That's the estrogen hat trick. 179 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:48,396 What it is is a cacophonous assault of eucalyptus, bayberry, cinnamon and vanilla. 180 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,983 It's as if my head were trapped in the pajamas of a sultan. 181 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:57,030 Sheldon, if you don't like this stuff, let's just go next door and build her a bear. 182 00:10:57,698 --> 00:11:00,992 I told you before, bears are terrifying. 183 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:04,704 Come on, bath stuff. It's perfect. 184 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,749 You got a scented candle, a cleansing buff. 185 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,418 Spearmint-and-green-tea-scented bath oil promotes relaxation. 186 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,087 That presupposes Penny is tense. 187 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:15,256 She knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a basket. 188 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,259 - Excuse me, we're ready. - No, we're not. 189 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:22,013 Let's say for a moment that I accept the bath-item-gift hypothesis. 190 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:26,267 I now lay the following conundrum at your feet. Which size? 191 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:28,478 This one. Let's go. 192 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,773 - You put no thought into that. - I'm sorry. Ah... 193 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,359 This one. Let's go. 194 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,445 I have insufficient data to proceed. 195 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,031 - Excuse me, miss? - Yes? 196 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,534 If I were to give you this gift basket... 197 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,036 ...based on that action alone and no other data... 198 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:50,125 ...infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us. 199 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,961 Excuse me? 200 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,505 Here. 201 00:11:55,756 --> 00:12:00,135 Now are we friends? Colleagues? Lovers? 202 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,220 Are you my grandmother? 203 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,141 I don't understand what you're talking about... 204 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,935 ...and you're making me a little uncomfortable. 205 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,063 See? Sounds just like you and Penny. We'll take it. 206 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,862 Hey, Leonard. Come, join us. 207 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:22,490 Oh, hey, Dave. And Penny. What a surprise. 208 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,201 Hey, Leonard. Dave was showing me around the university. 209 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,328 You know, this place is unbelievable. 210 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,957 Yeah, I know. I've been offering to show you around for a year and a half. 211 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,001 You always said you had yoga. 212 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:36,588 - I never said that. - Maybe I heard you wrong. 213 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,174 A lot of words sound like "yoga." 214 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,678 This is an amazing woman, Leonard. She has a curious and agile mind. 215 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,765 Not to mention being curious and agile in other respects. 216 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,767 Shut up. 217 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,269 Yes, please, shut up. 218 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:56,357 So, um, Dave, don't you think you and I should get back to the lab? 219 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:59,861 You know, that dark matter isn't gonna detect itself. 220 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,868 I was thinking about taking the afternoon off so I could experiment with Penny. 221 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,704 - Really? We're gonna do an experiment? DAVID: Uh-huh. 222 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:14,209 We're gonna explore the effects of tequila shots on a gorgeous 22-year-old woman. 223 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:17,545 That's not an experiment. You saw what happened last night. 224 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,548 DAVID: You ready to go? - Yeah. 225 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,092 - Oh, can I drive the motorcycle? - Yeah, why not? 226 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,053 You can't do any worse than Leonard. 227 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,931 - Oh, my God. - No, that's good. That's funny. 228 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,937 By the way, my leg is killing me. Thanks for asking. 229 00:13:56,377 --> 00:14:00,922 Mm. Great news, Leonard. I've solved my Penny gift dilemma. 230 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,757 Yippee. 231 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,219 You see, the danger was that I might under-or over-reciprocate... 232 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,304 ...but I have devised a foolproof plan. 233 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:14,185 I will open her gift to me first and then excuse myself, feigning digestive distress. 234 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,438 Then I'll look up the price of her gift online... 235 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:21,192 ...choose the basket closest to that value, give it to her... 236 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,487 ...and then I'll return the others for a full refund. 237 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,448 Brilliant. 238 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,576 It is, isn't it? 239 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,995 Is it okay if I hide them in your room? 240 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:35,164 The smell makes me nauseated. 241 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:38,877 - Do whatever you want. - Thank you. That's very gracious. 242 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,672 Gentlemen? 243 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,511 HOWARD: Why couldn't you have just done what Leonard did... 244 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,180 ...and get Penny a new boyfriend? 245 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,313 My leg is killing me. Thanks for asking. 246 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,405 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 247 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:11,367 Okay, I have just one question for you. 248 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,995 While I am perfectly happy with the way things are... 249 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:17,874 ...you said that you didn't wanna go out with me because I was too smart for you. 250 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:22,211 Well, news flash, lady: David Underhill is 10 times smarter than me. 251 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:26,841 You'd have to drive a railroad spike into his brain for me to beat him at checkers. 252 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:32,513 Next to him, I'm one of those sign-language gorillas who knows how to ask for grapes. 253 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,850 So my question is... 254 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,144 ...what's up with that? 255 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,023 Why are you yelling at me? 256 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:46,361 Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Never mind, we're cool. 257 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,530 Dave is not smarter than you. He's an idiot. 258 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,034 Really? Why would you say that? 259 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:57,080 Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone... 260 00:15:57,247 --> 00:16:00,833 ...before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend. 261 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,128 He tried to take nude photos of you? 262 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:08,049 That's what you took from that? 263 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,053 The guy is married. 264 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,888 Oh, yeah. 265 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:17,141 I'm sor... Oh, that's terrible. 266 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:21,396 And you. If you are so okay with the way things are between us, why are you jealous? 267 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,730 Well, that... 268 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:28,069 The important thing is he's married and that's terrible. 269 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,573 Nice save, genius. 270 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:36,202 - Eggnog? - Lactose. 271 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:41,249 It's just rum. It stopped being eggnog, like, a half an hour ago. 272 00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,922 Smooth. 273 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,592 Smoother than you. 274 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,430 Come on, it's Christmas. Just give me this one. 275 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,307 Okay. 276 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,518 Merry Christmas. 277 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,776 By the way, my leg is killing me. Thanks for asking. 278 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,742 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 279 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,995 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 280 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,290 - How's your leg? - Very good. Thanks for asking. Come on in. 281 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:27,211 Oh, good, Penny, you're here to exchange gifts. 282 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:34,635 You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer. 283 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,721 Okay. Here. 284 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:44,145 I should note, I'm having some digestive distress... 285 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:50,401 ...so if I excuse myself abruptly, don't be alarmed. 286 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:01,245 Oh, a napkin. 287 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,165 Turn it over. 288 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:15,510 "To Sheldon. Live long and prosper. 289 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,888 Leonard Nimoy." 290 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:25,978 Yeah, he came into the restaurant. Sorry the napkin's dirty. He wiped his mouth with it. 291 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:35,196 I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy? 292 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,700 Well... 293 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,748 Yeah, yeah, I guess. But look, he signed it. 294 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,709 Do you realize what this means? 295 00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:55,967 All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy. 296 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:04,058 Okay, all I'm giving you is the napkin, Sheldon. 297 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,229 Be right back. 298 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,775 - Here, open it. - Oh. 299 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,571 Oh. 300 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:20,074 A gift certificate for motorcycle lessons. 301 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,495 - Very thoughtful. - Yeah, and I checked. 302 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:29,125 Not letting the bike fall on you while standing still is lesson one. 303 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,378 Oh, then I think you'll appreciate what I got you. 304 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,255 Okay. 305 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:42,263 "101 Totally Cool Science Experiments for Kids." 306 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,270 You know, because you're so into science. 307 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,450 Sheldon, what did you do? 308 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,619 I know. 309 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,455 It's not enough, is it? 310 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,626 Here. 311 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,850 Leonard, look. Sheldon's hugging me. 312 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,646 It's a Saturnalia miracle. 313 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,134 [English - US - SDH] 26241

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