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1
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:09,883
Oh. Uh, hey, Rach.
I was just coming over here to, uh...
2
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,971
Oh, wait, I don't have to lie to you,
you don't live here anymore.
3
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,640
I'm eating their food.
What are you doing?
4
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,226
Ross is on a date with my sister.
5
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,645
They shut the drapes
two and a half hours ago.
6
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,690
Whoa, I didn't know
we could date your sister.
7
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,237
Joey, we know you steal our food.
8
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,115
I'm good.
9
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,159
Oh, are the drapes still closed?
10
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,996
Yeah. Who should've shut their drapes
is that perverted couple two doors over.
11
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,707
- Is that a swing?
- Oh, don't even ask.
12
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,375
Yuck.
13
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,047
I can't believe Ross is going out
with Rachel's sister.
14
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,925
When Chandler made out with my sister,
I was mad at him for 10 years.
15
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:55,095
- That was like five years ago.
- Yeah, you got five years left.
16
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,306
- Joey...
- You wanna make it six?
17
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,017
Oh, Ross, hey. Hi, how are you?
There you are.
18
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,602
Hey.
19
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,396
Can I get a cup of coffee?
20
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,359
So how was your big date last night?
21
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,987
Uh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.
22
00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,197
- It was fun?
- Yeah.
23
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,740
Great.
24
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:01,745
So, uh... So did you guys hit it off?
25
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,834
- I guess so.
- So, uh... So did anything happen?
26
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,920
Because rumor has it
you guys shut the drapes. Heh.
27
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,006
No, no, nothing happened.
28
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,635
I shut the drapes to show her slides
of my favorite fossils.
29
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,474
Oh, slides. Ha, ha.
30
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,060
So really nothing happened.
31
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,565
Something could've happened, all right?
She really dug my slides.
32
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:33,819
- Mm.
- And she was definitely giving me the vibe.
33
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:38,615
Was it the "Please don't show me
another picture of a trilobite" vibe?
34
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,076
Anyway...
35
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,329
If she wasn't into me,
why would she ask me out again?
36
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,040
- She asked you out again?
- Yeah, uh-huh.
37
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,459
- Tomorrow night.
- Hmm.
38
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:53,422
Valentine's Day.
The most romantic day of the year.
39
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,549
Who knows what could happen?
40
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:59,178
I might not be shutting my drapes
to show her my slides, if you know what...
41
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,054
Okay, okay, okay, I got it, I got it.
42
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,724
I can't...
I can't go with the you-and-my-sister thing.
43
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,351
I just can't. It's just too weird, all right?
44
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,687
I imagine the two of you together,
I freak out.
45
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,774
- It just freaks me out, and I can't do it.
- Okay, okay, okay. No... Yes. It's okay.
46
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,153
It's okay.
47
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,365
Hey, it's too weird for you.
I won't see her again.
48
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,118
- Thank you. I... Yeah.
- I mean, after tomorrow night.
49
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,288
No, no, no. Please, Ross. I can't do it.
It's gonna freak me out.
50
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,415
Okay, okay, okay.
51
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:33,754
Okay. I'll tell her tonight
I can't see her anymore.
52
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,964
Ross, thanks.
53
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:41,929
- You want me to call her right now?
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
54
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,806
I mean, come on, that's craz...
I mean, that's crazy.
55
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,645
So, what's going on with you?
What is going on with you?
56
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,147
Well, um... Oh.
57
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:56,151
- I may teach another class this semester.
- Yeah, do it now. Call her right now.
58
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,575
- This is my favorite part.
- Yeah, me too.
59
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,581
Oh, you know what's sadder than this?
Bambi.
60
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,126
I cried for three days with that movie.
No, wait, two.
61
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:17,589
Because on the third day, my mother killed
herself, so I was partly crying for that.
62
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:23,595
Well, see, now, that I can see crying over,
but Bambi is a cartoon.
63
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,555
You didn't cry
when Bambi's mother died?
64
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:29,893
Yes, it was very sad
when the guy stopped drawing the deer.
65
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,816
There's nothing wrong with crying.
You don't have to be so macho all the time.
66
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,818
I'm not macho.
67
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,903
Yeah, you're right.
68
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,698
I don't know what I was thinking.
69
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:46,785
I guess I just never really cried, you know?
I'm not a crying kind of guy.
70
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,955
Come on, man, there's gotta be something
that gets you choked up.
71
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,957
Like, uh...
72
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,501
What if you saw a three-legged puppy?
73
00:04:56,045 --> 00:05:00,090
I'd be sad, sure, but I wouldn't cry.
74
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:04,136
Okay, what if the puppy said,
"Help me, Chandler.
75
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,724
All the other puppies pick on me."
76
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,978
Cry? I just found a talking puppy.
I'm rich.
77
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:19,609
Oh. I've got it. I have got it.
Pictures from your childhood.
78
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:22,279
This will get you going good.
79
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:27,242
- All right, what's going on there?
- Oh, that's Parents' Day, first grade.
80
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:31,330
That's me with the janitor, Martin.
81
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,333
- Where are your parents?
- Oh, they didn't wanna come.
82
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,418
- Oh, Chandler.
- You poor thing.
83
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,670
So that story doesn't make you cry?
84
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:42,174
No. Look, I don't cry.
It's not a big deal, okay?
85
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,678
No. It's not okay. It's not okay at all.
86
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,264
You're dead inside.
87
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,562
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
88
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,981
- Are you Phoebe Buffay?
- Yeah.
89
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,693
Can I get your autograph?
I'm your biggest fan.
90
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,655
Oh, you're my biggest fan?
I've always wanted to meet you. Hi. Ha, ha.
91
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,741
- Sure, yeah.
- Wow.
92
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,201
Wow, thanks a lot.
93
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,496
I just wanna say
I think you're really talented.
94
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,332
You're just saying that
because you're my biggest fan.
95
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,795
Joey, listen, take good care of that guy.
He's a fan.
96
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,882
Bye.
97
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:29,304
So you saw me
on Days of Our Lives, huh?
98
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:33,642
You want me to do a little
Dr. Drake Ramoray for you?
99
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,481
I have no idea what you're talking about.
100
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,275
But I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph.
101
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:47,572
- Oh. You're Phoebe's fan.
- Oh, yeah. I've seen all her movies.
102
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:53,495
- Movies?
- That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
103
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,211
- I don't think so.
- No, no, it was.
104
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,756
She was in Sex Toy Story 2...
105
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,008
...Lawrence of a Labia.
106
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,637
And I got her autograph.
107
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,640
The guys at the comic-book store
aren't gonna believe this.
108
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,270
Gunther.
109
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,524
Hey, don't let that guy in here anymore.
He just said Phoebe's a porn star.
110
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:27,279
Well, I wouldn't call her a star,
but she's really good.
111
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,240
You should check out
Inspect Her Gadget.
112
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,746
- Hey.
- Hey.
113
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,748
You'll never believe what just happened.
114
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,334
Ross totally blew me off
and didn't even tell me why.
115
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,296
Oh, well. You know what, honey?
116
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,091
The best thing to do to get over a guy
is to start dating someone else.
117
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:52,596
Oh. Oh, there is this great guy
you will just love at work named Bob.
118
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,807
He's a real up-and-comer
in Human Resources.
119
00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,604
Thanks, but I'm not gonna date
some random guy from your work.
120
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,064
Not random. Bob.
121
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:07,986
It's probably because
I'm not mature enough or smart enough.
122
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,946
Maybe he doesn't like the way I dress.
123
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:14,242
Pfft. No, that can't be it.
It's really gotta be the smart thing. Ugh.
124
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,328
I'm so stupid.
125
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,748
I'm just this, like, incredibly pretty,
stupid girl.
126
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,042
No, honey.
127
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,461
Okay.
128
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,173
Okay. You wanna know why Ross
canceled the date?
129
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,175
Because I asked him to.
130
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,677
- You asked him to?
Mm-hm.
131
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,555
- Why?
- Because you are my sister...
132
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,433
...and Ross and I have this huge history.
133
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,436
- You wanna go out with Ross?
- No.
134
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,648
You don't want him,
but you don't want me to have him?
135
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,609
- You know, Bob in Human Resources...
- Ugh.
136
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,029
I cannot believe you did this to me.
You had me doubting how smart I was.
137
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,824
You had me doubting my fashion sense.
138
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,327
This is not that big a deal.
Just don't date Ross.
139
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:01,706
- There's a million other guys out there.
- You have no right to tell me what to do.
140
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:05,627
I'm not telling you what to do.
I am telling you what not to do.
141
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:10,840
- Why are you always so jealous of me?
- This is not about me being jealous of you.
142
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,177
This is about you being a brat,
wanting what you can't have.
143
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,720
Can't have?
144
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,974
Excuse me,
the only thing I can't have is dairy.
145
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,437
All right, all right.
You just blew your chances at dating Bob.
146
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,565
- Who?
- In Human Resources!
147
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,277
I am jealous of her?
148
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:33,863
I mean, who does she think she is,
Princess Caroline?
149
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:38,159
- You're jealous of Princess Caroline?
- Do I have my own castle?
150
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,706
Hey. Phoebe's not here, is she?
151
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,417
- No.
- Oh, great, did you get a movie?
152
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,048
Uh...
153
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,425
Yeah. Yeah.
154
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,053
But, uh, I don't think it's the kind
you're gonna like.
155
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,642
You didn't get more that are gonna have us
reaching for the tissues all night, did you?
156
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,317
Sort of.
157
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,611
Guys, what's going on?
158
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,324
Phoebe's a porn star.
159
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,867
- What?
- Yeah.
160
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,453
- What are you talking about?
- Where?
161
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:26,207
"Phoebe Buffay in
Buffay the Vampire Layer."
162
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:30,670
- Oh, my God. Ha, ha.
- That's Phoebe. Where did you get that?
163
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,214
Down at the adult video place
on Bleecker.
164
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:38,136
And I saw Joey was about to go in,
so I ran in ahead of him...
165
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,388
...to surprise him.
166
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:46,227
And then... Ha, ha. Then I pretended
that I didn't know he was in there.
167
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,442
Wow. I mean, I just can't...
I can't believe this.
168
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,986
You know?
I mean, you think you know someone.
169
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,530
Even Phoebe, who's always been
somewhat of a question mark.
170
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,199
Hmm.
171
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,910
This is so bizarre.
172
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,580
I guess it kind of makes sense, though.
She had such a terrible childhood.
173
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,958
Hey, I had a terrible childhood
and I don't do porn.
174
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,294
- Yes, but you're dead inside.
- Ah.
175
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,340
- All right, well, I'd better take that back.
- What? Why? Why?
176
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,676
We can't watch that.
I mean, that's Phoebe.
177
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:23,181
- You're right. We shouldn't watch this.
- Absolutely not. That goes back.
178
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,726
- But, you know, maybe a little bit.
- How about just the first half?
179
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,896
Hey, no, this is wrong, you guys.
Phoebe's our friend.
180
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,524
- I'm not gonna watch it.
- Yeah.
181
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,359
- Good for you, Joe.
- Yeah.
182
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:51,584
Ah. I thought I'd find you here,
Nosferatool.
183
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:57,132
Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake
into my dark places?
184
00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:01,302
Actually, I was kind of hoping
it would be the other way around.
185
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:09,018
- Hold on, what is that on her ankle?
- Her ankle is what you're watching?
186
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,647
- Well, it's hard to tell.
- Ooh.
187
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,483
Oh, God, if she would just stop moving.
188
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,153
She's just doing her job.
189
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:21,030
You sick bastards.
190
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:26,119
Oh. It's a tattoo.
That's weird. Phoebe doesn't...
191
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,165
Wait, that's Ursula.
That's not Phoebe. That is Ursula.
192
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,544
Wait, wait. I can watch that.
Rewind it. Rewind it.
193
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,088
- Hey.
- Oh.
194
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:40,008
What's up? Oh, my God.
What am I doing?!
195
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,020
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey.
196
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,526
Chicken Soup for the Soul?
197
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,696
There's no back to this couch.
198
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:06,034
Why are you reading this?
You hate this kind of stuff.
199
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,786
I figured I'd give it a shot.
200
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,996
Maybe one of those stories
would make me cry.
201
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,582
Then you wouldn't think
I was all dead inside.
202
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,502
Aw, that's so sweet.
203
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,046
Chandler, I don't care if you can't cry.
I love you.
204
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,300
Oh, that makes me feel so warm
in my hollow tin chest.
205
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,929
- Stop it.
- I mean, come on, seriously. Think about it.
206
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:29,516
We get married, I'm up at the altar,
and I'm like this:
207
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,602
I won't care.
208
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,980
Because I know that you'll be feeling it
all in here.
209
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,149
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
210
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,443
And if we have a baby one day...
211
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,613
...and the doctor hands it to you
in the delivery room...
212
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,324
...and you don't cry, so what?
213
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,286
And if we take him to college
and we come home...
214
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,790
...and we see his empty room
for the first time...
215
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,292
...and you got nothing?
216
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,712
Won't matter to me.
217
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,674
Okay.
218
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:06,010
Well, I won't worry
about this anymore, then.
219
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,471
Yeah. And, you know, if I die...
220
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,433
...from a long illness...
221
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,644
...and you're writing out my eulogy...
222
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:18,481
...and you open the desk drawer
and find a note from me that says:
223
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,860
"I will always be with you"...
224
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:26,739
...and you still can't shed one tiny tear...
225
00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,659
...I know you'll be crying a river inside.
226
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:34,455
- Aw, I love you, sweet...
- What is wrong with you?
227
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,541
- What?
- What?
228
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,127
You can't shed a tear for your dead wife?
229
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,880
I mean, I left you a note from the beyond.
230
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,049
- So you didn't mean any of that?
- No, you robot!
231
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:55,476
You damn kids.
You ring my bell one more time, I swear to...
232
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,688
Oh, uh, Jill. Um...
233
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,733
That's just a little game I play
with the kids down the hall.
234
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,653
They've really taken a liking to me.
235
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,157
What's the matter?
236
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,577
Rachel and I had a really big fight.
Can I come in?
237
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,080
I know we're not supposed to see
each other anymore. I'm okay with that.
238
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:19,792
I don't know anybody in the city,
and I need somebody to talk to about it.
239
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,754
- Oh, of course. What happened?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
240
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,551
Okay. Um...
241
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,639
- But you know what might cheer me up?
- What?
242
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,683
Seeing some more
of your super-cool slides.
243
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,937
- Wow, really?
- Totally. I loved them.
244
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:43,316
And maybe you could finish telling me
about all the different kinds of sand.
245
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:50,114
I'd love to. You wait right here.
I'll go get the projector and my notes.
246
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,617
Oh, great. Thanks, Ross.
You're such a good friend.
247
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,202
Oh.
248
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,918
Hey. Have you guys seen Jill?
I can't find her anywhere.
249
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,503
- No, I haven't.
- Is Ross home?
250
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,631
Maybe I'll just call him
and see if he's actually seen her.
251
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:16,599
Who is it?
252
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,353
It's Phoebe, "Phoebe."
253
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,315
- Hey.
- Oh, God.
254
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:30,446
- So you're making porn movies.
- No, I'm not.
255
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,865
We're still rolling.
256
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,784
You're making one right now.
257
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:38,913
- Let's go, Phoebe.
- And you're using my name.
258
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,040
Yeah, can I help you with something?
259
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:43,418
Phoebe, come on.
260
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:47,755
Look, I'm talking right now.
You're... You mean her. Oh.
261
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,342
You know,
twin stuff is always a real big seller.
262
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,052
What?
263
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:57,765
Yeah. I could talk them into giving you
like $30.
264
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,020
No. No way. No.
265
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:05,440
And stop using my name.
And shame on you.
266
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,276
And shame on all of you.
You're disgusting.
267
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,611
Especially you, with that.
268
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,701
Slides are almost ready.
269
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:20,788
Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing.
270
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,623
Alcohol.
271
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:27,545
- Okay, well, there's wine in the kitchen.
- Oh, great.
272
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,633
Hello?
273
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:37,180
What is my sister doing there,
and why are the drapes shut?
274
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,434
Okay. Rach, calm down, okay?
275
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,604
She's really upset. We're just talking.
276
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,232
I think she's trying to make something
happen with you to get back at me.
277
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,235
Oh, so that's the only reason
she could be here, huh?
278
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,781
It couldn't have anything to do
with the fact that I'm a good listener...
279
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,201
...and I put on a great slide show?
280
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:06,000
Ross, I am telling you,
she is using you to get back at me.
281
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:11,005
You know, I think I can take care of myself.
I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.
282
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,716
Whoa.
283
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,679
Uh, that was your sister, actually.
284
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:21,182
She thinks you're just using me. Heh.
285
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,726
So?
286
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,150
- Hey.
- Hey.
287
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:34,529
So I just came from the company
Ursula works for.
288
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,323
Oh, no, not you too.
289
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,368
No, no.
I went to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks.
290
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,702
There were a lot of them.
291
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,539
- Nice.
Mm-hm.
292
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,208
And I won't have to
go back there anymore...
293
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,586
...because I gave them
my "correct address."
294
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:56,300
That's great, but isn't it gonna bother you
that people think you're a porn star?
295
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,719
Oh, no, no. I know how to handle it.
296
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,513
- Good.
- Yeah.
297
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,559
You're trying to figure out
where you know me from?
298
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,229
All right, I'll give you a hint.
From porn. Okay?
299
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:13,025
Yeah, your pervert boyfriend
watched me in a porno movie!
300
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,989
- See?
- Yeah.
301
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,077
Hey.
302
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:27,790
- You, uh, may have been right about Jill.
- Oh, I knew it. What happened?
303
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,378
- Um, she kissed me.
- What? You kissed?
304
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,131
- Maybe we should give them some privacy.
- Shh!
305
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,178
Look, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
306
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,598
It doesn't sound like it.
It's pretty easy not to kiss someone.
307
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:47,185
You just don't kiss them.
See? Look at us right now, not kissing.
308
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,562
Let me finish, okay?
309
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,941
She started kissing me,
and I didn't stop it.
310
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,985
I guess I just wasn't thinking.
311
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,155
Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna give you
something to think about.
312
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,781
Hold on.
313
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:04,702
But then I started thinking
and I stopped the kissing.
314
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:09,832
Oh, well, thank you for taking your tongue
out of my sister's mouth to tell me that.
315
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,005
Look, I realized if anything were to happen
with me and Jill...
316
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:19,508
...then nothing could ever happen
with us.
317
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,720
- What?
- No, I mean...
318
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:29,101
Look, I don't know if anything
is ever going to happen with us again, ever.
319
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,188
But I don't wanna know
that it never could.
320
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,650
So I stopped it...
321
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,862
...and she got mad
and broke my projector.
322
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,703
Wow.
323
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,416
I don't even know what to say.
324
00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,839
Thank you.
325
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:02,260
You're welcome.
326
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,851
Oh, my God, are you crying?
327
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:14,480
I just don't see why those two
can't work things out.
328
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,989
All right, I'm leaving.
I'm not gonna spend one more day...
329
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:25,658
...with someone
who's out to sabotage my every move.
330
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,076
That's you, Rachel.
331
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:29,328
Yeah, I got that.
332
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,082
And you.
I throw myself at you, and you say no?
333
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,458
How gay are you?
334
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,008
You take care, Jill.
335
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:45,052
- Okay, see you.
- Bye-bye.
336
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,764
I can't believe Jill's gone.
337
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,436
I can't help it. I opened a gate.
27409
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