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1
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♪ Oh ♪
2
00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:52,424
♪ A newlywed couple just moved to town ♪
3
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♪ A regular husband and wife ♪
4
00:00:56,470 --> 00:01:01,559
♪ Who left the big city
To find a quiet life ♪
5
00:01:02,059 --> 00:01:05,312
♪ WandaVision! ♪
6
00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:12,611
♪ She's a magical gal
In a small town locale ♪
7
00:01:12,695 --> 00:01:16,282
♪ He's a hubby who's part machine ♪
8
00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:21,620
♪ How will this duo fit in and fulfill all? ♪
9
00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:26,917
♪ By sharing a love like you've never seen ♪
10
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♪ WandaVision! ♪
11
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:51,358
My wife and her flying saucers.
12
00:01:51,442 --> 00:01:54,945
My husband and his indestructible head.
13
00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:57,031
Aren't we a fine pair?
14
00:01:59,241 --> 00:02:04,121
What do you say to silver dollar pancakes,
crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs,
15
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:06,373
freshly squeezed orange juice,
and black coffee?
16
00:02:06,457 --> 00:02:08,542
I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."
17
00:02:09,502 --> 00:02:11,879
Well, that explains
the empty refrigerator.
18
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:15,382
- Wanda?
- Hmm?
19
00:02:15,883 --> 00:02:18,052
Is there something special about today?
20
00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:20,638
Well, I know the apron
is a bit much, dear,
21
00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:22,973
but I am doing my best to blend in.
22
00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:24,391
No, no, there on the calendar.
23
00:02:24,475 --> 00:02:28,062
Someone's drawn a little heart
right above today's date.
24
00:02:29,313 --> 00:02:31,065
- Oh, yes, the heart.
- Hmm…
25
00:02:32,274 --> 00:02:34,276
Well, don't tell me
you have forgotten, Vis.
26
00:02:34,401 --> 00:02:35,402
"Forgotten"?
27
00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,988
Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness.
I remember everything.
28
00:02:38,072 --> 00:02:41,659
That's not an exaggeration.
In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.
29
00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:44,703
Well, then tell me what's so important
about today's date.
30
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,040
What was the question again?
31
00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,334
Oh, well,
perhaps, you've forgotten yourself.
32
00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:53,212
Me? Heavens, no.
I've been so looking forward to it.
33
00:02:53,295 --> 00:02:54,713
As have I.
34
00:02:54,797 --> 00:02:56,465
Today, we are celebrating…
35
00:02:57,049 --> 00:02:58,384
You bet we are.
36
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,720
- It's the first time we…
- Mmm-hmm.
37
00:03:01,804 --> 00:03:04,557
…have ever celebrated
this occasion before.
38
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,225
It's a special day!
39
00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:08,352
- Perhaps an evening…
- Of great significance…
40
00:03:08,435 --> 00:03:09,520
- To us both!
- Naturally.
41
00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:11,063
- Obviously.
- Exactly.
42
00:03:11,981 --> 00:03:12,982
Well done, us.
43
00:03:13,524 --> 00:03:14,900
All right.
44
00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:17,361
Well, that's me off to work, then.
45
00:03:18,112 --> 00:03:19,113
Oh, don't forget!
46
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,156
I haven't.
47
00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:23,242
Oh!
48
00:03:29,123 --> 00:03:30,124
Have a good day, dear!
49
00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:53,022
Oh!
50
00:03:53,105 --> 00:03:55,858
Hello, dear.
I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.
51
00:03:55,983 --> 00:03:57,484
My right, not yours.
52
00:03:57,568 --> 00:04:00,487
Forgive me for not stopping by sooner
to welcome you to the block.
53
00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,115
My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't.
54
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,827
So, what's your name? Where are you from?
55
00:04:06,911 --> 00:04:09,455
And most importantly,
how's your bridge game, hon?
56
00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:12,374
I'm Wanda.
57
00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:15,127
Wanda. Charmed.
58
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:18,714
Golly, you settled in fast!
59
00:04:18,797 --> 00:04:20,341
Did you use a moving company?
60
00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:24,345
I sure did.
Those boxes don't move themselves.
61
00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:29,850
So what's a single gal like you doing
rattling around this big house?
62
00:04:29,934 --> 00:04:31,185
Oh, no, I'm not single.
63
00:04:31,268 --> 00:04:32,728
Oh, I don't see a ring.
64
00:04:32,811 --> 00:04:35,147
Well, I assure you I'm married.
65
00:04:35,314 --> 00:04:37,691
To a man. A human one and tall.
66
00:04:37,775 --> 00:04:41,195
As a matter of fact, he'll be home
later tonight for a special occasion.
67
00:04:41,278 --> 00:04:42,404
Just the two of us.
68
00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:43,864
Oh, is it somebody's birthday?
69
00:04:43,948 --> 00:04:45,533
Not a birthday.
70
00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:47,284
Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?
71
00:04:47,368 --> 00:04:49,703
No, it's not a holiday.
72
00:04:49,787 --> 00:04:51,205
An anniversary then?
73
00:04:51,288 --> 00:04:52,540
Ye… Yes!
74
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:55,376
Yes! It's our anniversary!
75
00:04:55,459 --> 00:04:57,962
Oh, how marvelous!
76
00:04:58,045 --> 00:04:59,380
How many years?
77
00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:02,591
Well, it feels like
we've always been together.
78
00:05:02,675 --> 00:05:04,093
Lucky gal.
79
00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:07,054
The only way
Ralph would remember our anniversary
80
00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:09,265
is if there was a beer named June 2nd.
81
00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:13,060
- So, what do you have planned?
- How do you mean?
82
00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:14,687
For your special night.
83
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,648
A young thing like you
doesn't have to do much,
84
00:05:17,773 --> 00:05:20,025
but it's still fun to set the scene.
85
00:05:20,568 --> 00:05:24,780
Say, I was just reading
a crackerjack magazine article
86
00:05:24,864 --> 00:05:28,909
called "How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband,"
87
00:05:28,993 --> 00:05:31,579
and let me tell you,
what Ralph could really use
88
00:05:31,662 --> 00:05:35,416
is, "How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don't Lose Your Wife."
89
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:40,212
Hang on. I'll go grab it
and we can start planning.
90
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,631
Oh, this is gonna be a gas!
91
00:05:45,593 --> 00:05:46,594
Oh…
92
00:05:48,554 --> 00:05:52,183
♪ Or you don't go out Friday night
Yakety yak! ♪
93
00:05:52,808 --> 00:05:55,352
♪ You just put on your coat and hat ♪
94
00:05:56,228 --> 00:06:00,774
Here are those computational forms
that you requested, Norm.
95
00:06:01,525 --> 00:06:02,526
There you go.
96
00:06:03,777 --> 00:06:05,613
Gee willikers, that was fast!
97
00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:08,574
Hey, the music
isn't bothering you, is it, pal?
98
00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:10,201
In terms of distraction from work,
99
00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,620
or the largely nonsensical
nature of the lyrics?
100
00:06:13,829 --> 00:06:16,290
- The first one.
- Ah, no, thank you, Norm.
101
00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:20,085
Hey, is there somethin'
I can help you with, buddy?
102
00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:22,463
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
103
00:06:22,546 --> 00:06:27,718
Would you be so good as to tell me
what it is we do here exactly?
104
00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:30,179
Do we make something?
105
00:06:30,262 --> 00:06:31,555
- No.
- Right.
106
00:06:31,639 --> 00:06:34,058
Do we buy or sell something?
107
00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:35,351
No and no.
108
00:06:35,434 --> 00:06:37,728
Then what is the purpose of this company?
109
00:06:38,312 --> 00:06:42,399
All I know is, since you've gotten here,
productivity has gone up 300%.
110
00:06:42,525 --> 00:06:44,735
Yes, but what is it we're producing?
111
00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:46,195
Computational forms.
112
00:06:46,278 --> 00:06:48,697
And no one can process the data
quite like you do, pal.
113
00:06:48,781 --> 00:06:50,491
You're like a walking computer.
114
00:06:50,574 --> 00:06:52,618
What? I most certainly am not.
115
00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:55,788
I'm a regular carbon-based employee
made entirely of organic matter,
116
00:06:55,871 --> 00:06:57,831
much like yourself, Norm.
117
00:06:57,915 --> 00:07:00,751
Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?
118
00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:03,838
Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge.
119
00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:06,924
You see, it appears
there's something special about today,
120
00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:08,634
special to Wanda, that's my wife,
121
00:07:08,717 --> 00:07:12,680
and gee, I can't, for the life of me,
recall what it is.
122
00:07:13,055 --> 00:07:14,640
Mmm… Oh!
123
00:07:16,809 --> 00:07:17,810
Good to see you.
124
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,645
- Vision.
- Yes?
125
00:07:19,728 --> 00:07:21,689
Wife and I
are looking forward to this evening.
126
00:07:22,815 --> 00:07:24,775
Mr. Hart. Of course!
127
00:07:25,317 --> 00:07:28,195
Dinner with Mr. Hart
and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
128
00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:30,030
That's what I said.
What's wrong with you?
129
00:07:30,114 --> 00:07:33,409
- Have you got a screw loose?
- Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir.
130
00:07:33,492 --> 00:07:35,035
Yes, I should hope so.
131
00:07:35,578 --> 00:07:37,079
Employee dinners
are a rite of passage
132
00:07:37,162 --> 00:07:38,539
- for the new hires.
- Ah.
133
00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:40,416
Jones over there failed miserably.
134
00:07:40,499 --> 00:07:41,750
Isn't that right, Jones?
135
00:07:42,126 --> 00:07:44,420
The wife thought
five courses would be sufficient.
136
00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:47,381
And there was that paltry excuse
for entertainment.
137
00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:49,466
A string quartet?
138
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:53,262
And then you had that embarrassing display
of beatnik enthusiasm.
139
00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:54,722
I wore a turtleneck.
140
00:07:56,223 --> 00:07:58,851
Yes. Best of luck out there
in the unemployment line, Jones.
141
00:07:59,894 --> 00:08:02,730
You know, I owe my success
to being a keen judge of character.
142
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,191
No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
143
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,110
I don't have a skeleton, sir.
144
00:08:08,736 --> 00:08:12,281
Glad to hear it.
Your future in this company depends on it.
145
00:08:19,538 --> 00:08:20,748
And you don't have a song?
146
00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:22,750
Nothing special you played
at your wedding?
147
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:24,043
No, nothing special.
148
00:08:24,543 --> 00:08:26,253
I'll just loan you some records then.
149
00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:31,383
So, we've got music covered,
decor, wardrobe. Oh!
150
00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,802
What about seduction techniques?
151
00:08:34,553 --> 00:08:35,846
Oh, I have those.
152
00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,806
Of course, you do.
153
00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:40,976
Just out of curiosity, what does it say?
154
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:45,606
That you should stumble when
you walk into a room so he can catch you.
155
00:08:46,023 --> 00:08:47,066
It's romantic.
156
00:08:47,149 --> 00:08:48,734
Any other tricks?
157
00:08:48,817 --> 00:08:52,780
You could point out that the death rate of
single men is twice that of married men.
158
00:08:53,656 --> 00:08:55,533
Now, that's romantic.
159
00:08:57,660 --> 00:08:59,203
Oh!
160
00:09:03,374 --> 00:09:04,375
Vision residence.
161
00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:06,502
- Wanda, darling.
- Vision, sweetheart.
162
00:09:06,585 --> 00:09:07,670
Listen, about tonight…
163
00:09:07,753 --> 00:09:11,131
Don't worry, dear.
I have everything under control.
164
00:09:11,215 --> 00:09:12,675
Oh, well, that is a relief.
165
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:15,261
I must confess, I'm really rather nervous.
166
00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:17,429
"Nervous"? Whatever for?
167
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:20,015
Well, you know, darling,
I still get a little tongue-tied.
168
00:09:20,808 --> 00:09:24,687
Vis, after all this time…
169
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:26,772
There's an awful lot
riding on this one, Wanda.
170
00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:31,652
If tonight doesn't go just so,
I think this could be the end.
171
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,906
Well, it's just one night.
There's no need to get dramatic.
172
00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,826
Look, I think the best course of action
is to impress the wife.
173
00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:42,997
And I think the best course of action
is to impress the husband.
174
00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:45,124
Well, wonderful!
175
00:09:45,207 --> 00:09:47,042
Glad to know we're both on the same page.
176
00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,627
Until tonight, then, my, darling.
177
00:09:48,711 --> 00:09:49,920
Until tonight.
178
00:09:50,588 --> 00:09:51,797
Oh…
179
00:09:57,678 --> 00:10:00,347
Is your husband tired of you
burning his toast?
180
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,643
Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000.
181
00:10:05,186 --> 00:10:07,313
It's the go-to for clever housewives.
182
00:10:07,646 --> 00:10:10,691
Say, this machine has some shine.
183
00:10:10,774 --> 00:10:11,901
You said it.
184
00:10:11,984 --> 00:10:15,070
Set the dial
and get the taste back into your toast.
185
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:23,287
Top and bottom heating elements
can handle anything
186
00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:27,541
from meatloaf, to cherry pie,
to open-faced cheese sandwiches.
187
00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:40,513
The all new ToastMate 2000
by Stark Industries.
188
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:43,516
Forget the past. This is your future.
189
00:10:48,229 --> 00:10:49,438
Here we are!
190
00:10:50,856 --> 00:10:51,857
Oh!
191
00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:54,944
How very atmospheric!
192
00:10:55,027 --> 00:10:57,530
What's going on here, Vision?
You blow a fuse?
193
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:01,325
Pardon me while I just go and fetch
the lady of the house.
194
00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:08,749
Guess who?
195
00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:10,543
Wanda!
196
00:11:11,168 --> 00:11:12,169
Vision.
197
00:11:12,253 --> 00:11:13,587
Oh! Oh!
198
00:11:14,171 --> 00:11:15,214
Ah…
199
00:11:15,297 --> 00:11:16,632
What is the meaning of this?
200
00:11:16,715 --> 00:11:18,843
Well, what is…
201
00:11:18,926 --> 00:11:20,261
Yeah, what is the meaning of…
202
00:11:20,344 --> 00:11:21,387
Oh, the meaning of it!
203
00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:23,806
You want to know the meaning of it
and the meaning of it
204
00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:29,311
is that this is the traditional
Sokovian greeting of hospitality.
205
00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:32,189
- Guess who?
- Is that my host behind me?
206
00:11:32,273 --> 00:11:33,399
It certainly is.
207
00:11:33,482 --> 00:11:35,860
- Lovely to make your acquaintance.
- Yes!
208
00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:38,362
See, I forgot to tell you
my wife is from Europe.
209
00:11:39,196 --> 00:11:41,240
Oh, how exotic!
210
00:11:41,323 --> 00:11:43,158
We don't break bread with Bolsheviks.
211
00:11:43,242 --> 00:11:44,660
Oh, hush, Arthur!
212
00:11:44,743 --> 00:11:47,288
Have you no culture at all?
213
00:11:47,371 --> 00:11:48,497
And that dress!
214
00:11:48,581 --> 00:11:53,419
Yes! It's… It's so…
Sokovian, is what it is! Yes!
215
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:57,381
Can I just see you in the kitchen
for a moment, sweetheart?
216
00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:58,465
Oh, yes!
217
00:12:01,093 --> 00:12:02,970
- Who are those people?
- What are you wearing?
218
00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:05,014
- Why are they here?
- What are you wearing?
219
00:12:05,097 --> 00:12:06,432
Well, it's our anniversary!
220
00:12:06,515 --> 00:12:07,766
Our anniversary of what?
221
00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:10,269
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!
222
00:12:11,228 --> 00:12:14,398
That… That man through there
is my boss, Mr. Hart!
223
00:12:14,481 --> 00:12:16,233
And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart!
224
00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:19,069
The heart on the calendar
was an abbreviation!
225
00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:22,323
You move at the speed of sound and I can
make a pen float through the air.
226
00:12:22,406 --> 00:12:23,824
Who needs to abbreviate?
227
00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:26,952
Darling, listen, it's all romantic
to do the candles, the music,
228
00:12:27,036 --> 00:12:28,871
- that stunning outfit…
- Well…
229
00:12:28,954 --> 00:12:31,248
I don't wanna be unappreciative,
but right now…
230
00:12:31,332 --> 00:12:33,751
Your boss and his wife
are expecting a home-cooked meal.
231
00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:34,835
Exactly.
232
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:36,962
Any chance they'd settle
233
00:12:37,046 --> 00:12:39,673
for a single chocolate-covered strawberry
split three ways?
234
00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:41,008
Uh…
235
00:12:41,091 --> 00:12:42,593
I might have a better idea.
236
00:12:45,262 --> 00:12:46,305
Hmm.
237
00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:50,309
So I said, "If we orient the forms
horizontally rather than vertically,
238
00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:54,188
"we can use twice the paper,
we can bill twice the cost."
239
00:12:55,773 --> 00:12:57,650
You truly are a pioneer!
240
00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,361
But the larger purpose of the forms is…
241
00:13:00,486 --> 00:13:02,321
Was to analyze our input and our output.
242
00:13:02,404 --> 00:13:03,405
Huh.
243
00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:06,242
You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?
244
00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:10,704
Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver!
245
00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:12,331
What kind of housewife would I be
246
00:13:12,414 --> 00:13:15,709
if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four
just lying about the place?
247
00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:16,794
Well…
248
00:13:16,877 --> 00:13:19,421
Not that Ralph ever wants to eat
anything but baked beans
249
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:22,424
which explains a lot
about his personal appeal, mind you.
250
00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:24,802
- Oh, my!
- Oh! Oh!
251
00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:26,846
Do you think Wanda needs help
in the kitchen?
252
00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:29,640
We haven't any tidbits
or tartlets out here,
253
00:13:29,723 --> 00:13:30,850
nary a pig in a blanket.
254
00:13:30,933 --> 00:13:32,142
No, that…
255
00:13:32,518 --> 00:13:34,603
No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart.
256
00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:36,856
But I'm sure
she's absolutely fine in there!
257
00:13:36,939 --> 00:13:39,316
Oh, thank you, Agnes.
I think I've got it covered from here.
258
00:13:39,441 --> 00:13:40,568
- Oh, are you sure, dear?
- Hmm.
259
00:13:40,651 --> 00:13:43,904
Many hands make light work.
And many mouths make good gossip.
260
00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:45,406
You're so naughty!
261
00:13:45,489 --> 00:13:47,408
Oh, shall I just pre-heat
the oven then, dear?
262
00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:49,827
- That won't be necessary.
- Oh, All right, then.
263
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:52,830
Well, I know you're in a pinch
so this menu can be done in a snap.
264
00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,624
Lobster Thermidor with
mini-minced meat turnovers to start.
265
00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:58,752
Chicken à la King with twice-cooked
new potatoes for your second course,
266
00:13:58,836 --> 00:14:01,213
and Steak Diane and mint jellies
for your main.
267
00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,507
Do you set your own jellies, dear?
268
00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:05,593
- Yes.
- Good girl.
269
00:14:05,676 --> 00:14:07,678
Recipe cards are on the counter there.
270
00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:09,013
Bon appétit!
271
00:14:09,096 --> 00:14:10,514
Oh!
272
00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:15,019
Oh, oh.
273
00:14:15,102 --> 00:14:16,145
You men stay put.
274
00:14:16,228 --> 00:14:19,607
- I sense a domestic emergency, so…
- Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't.
275
00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,525
You… Please…
276
00:14:21,609 --> 00:14:25,654
♪ Yeah, take out the papers and the trash ♪
277
00:14:25,738 --> 00:14:28,073
♪ Or you won't get no spending cash ♪
278
00:14:29,491 --> 00:14:31,869
♪ If you don't scrub the kitchen floor ♪
279
00:14:33,078 --> 00:14:34,830
♪ You ain't gonna rock and roll no more ♪
280
00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:36,790
♪ Yakety yak!
Don't talk back ♪
281
00:14:41,504 --> 00:14:45,508
Well, why don't we have a nice
sing-a-long, all together then, shall we?
282
00:14:48,427 --> 00:14:50,054
Oh, no, too much!
283
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,142
Oh, no, not enough!
284
00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:58,479
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
285
00:14:58,562 --> 00:15:00,314
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
286
00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,399
♪ And on that farm he had a… ♪
287
00:15:04,818 --> 00:15:05,819
♪ had a… ♪
288
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:07,446
♪ Pig. ♪
289
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,073
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
290
00:15:09,156 --> 00:15:10,157
- ♪ With a… ♪
- ♪ Oink, oink… ♪
291
00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:11,283
- ♪ Here and a… ♪
- ♪ Oink, oink… ♪
292
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:12,952
- ♪ There ♪
- ♪ Here an oink, there an oink ♪
293
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,119
♪ Everywhere an oink, oink ♪
294
00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:16,330
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
295
00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:17,915
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
296
00:15:17,998 --> 00:15:20,668
Oh, what was I supposed to do next?
Oh, what was the main course again?
297
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,294
It was… Steak…
298
00:15:22,378 --> 00:15:23,754
No. Steak…
299
00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:25,589
Steak… Diane!
300
00:15:25,673 --> 00:15:26,715
Yes?
301
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,135
Oh, I think that must be
my wife summoning me.
302
00:15:30,678 --> 00:15:32,304
She calls you "Diane?"
303
00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:36,058
Yes, it's her pet name for me.
304
00:15:37,393 --> 00:15:40,229
I'm just coming, Fred.
305
00:15:42,064 --> 00:15:43,190
Excuse me a moment.
306
00:15:47,069 --> 00:15:48,237
Oh, no.
307
00:15:49,864 --> 00:15:51,323
How can I be of assistance?
308
00:15:51,407 --> 00:15:54,910
Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken
and the lobsters just flew the coop
309
00:15:54,994 --> 00:15:56,620
so the steak is the last man standing.
310
00:15:57,121 --> 00:16:00,291
It says here I can cut down the prep time
with a meat tenderizer.
311
00:16:00,374 --> 00:16:02,543
Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?
312
00:16:02,626 --> 00:16:04,336
- I'm looking at him.
- Ah.
313
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,462
Hoo-hoo in there!
314
00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:07,339
Hoo-hoo back to you!
315
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,841
Okay.
316
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:12,636
Finish the meat, find the lobsters.
I'll be right back.
317
00:16:14,221 --> 00:16:15,556
I hope you're hungry.
318
00:16:15,639 --> 00:16:16,891
Starved, is more like it.
319
00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:19,393
My head is starting to feel woozy.
320
00:16:22,104 --> 00:16:23,439
Were either of you aware
321
00:16:23,522 --> 00:16:26,859
that married men are killing single men
at an alarming rate?
322
00:16:27,526 --> 00:16:29,612
What are you going on about?
323
00:16:29,695 --> 00:16:30,905
And what's going on in there?
324
00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:33,532
Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho!
325
00:16:36,327 --> 00:16:37,369
Who could that be?
326
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,205
Coming!
327
00:16:40,331 --> 00:16:42,208
Oh, you didn't answer the back door.
328
00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,918
For your upside-down cake.
329
00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,920
Oh! Hi, I…
330
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,004
Who was that?
331
00:16:47,087 --> 00:16:48,589
- A salesman!
- Telegram!
332
00:16:48,672 --> 00:16:50,466
A man selling telegrams.
333
00:16:50,549 --> 00:16:52,635
Wouldn't you know it.
Good news is more expensive.
334
00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:56,680
I couldn't find the lobsters and did you
want the meat tender or pulverized?
335
00:16:56,764 --> 00:16:57,932
Oh, dear.
336
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,603
Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly.
337
00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,523
Anyone for Parcheesi?
338
00:17:05,648 --> 00:17:08,567
- My head is spinning.
- Oh, Mrs. Hart…
339
00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:11,028
Did you hear that?
My wife's head is spinning.
340
00:17:11,111 --> 00:17:13,322
Generally speaking,
I don't like her head to do that.
341
00:17:15,574 --> 00:17:16,742
Time to improvise.
342
00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:21,413
You know, I'm beginning to think
you're not management material, Vision.
343
00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:23,123
You know, I had high hopes for you.
344
00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:26,836
But from what I've seen here tonight,
you can barely keep it together.
345
00:17:26,919 --> 00:17:29,922
I mean, look around. There's all this
chaos going on in your household.
346
00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:32,383
Now, when are we gonna eat?
347
00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:34,051
Dinner is served.
348
00:17:35,427 --> 00:17:36,428
Ah!
349
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,265
Breakfast for dinner?
350
00:17:40,766 --> 00:17:41,767
How very…
351
00:17:41,851 --> 00:17:43,185
European.
352
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,522
Ooh! Let's have a toast!
353
00:17:47,314 --> 00:17:50,484
To my lovely and talented wife.
354
00:17:50,609 --> 00:17:52,862
To our esteemed guests.
355
00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:54,321
Yes. Cin cin.
356
00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:55,406
Cheers.
357
00:17:57,783 --> 00:17:59,535
Well, please eat before it gets cold.
358
00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:01,495
- Hmm?
- Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me.
359
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,416
So, where did you two move from?
360
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,126
What brought you here?
361
00:18:07,209 --> 00:18:10,504
How long have you been married?
And why don't you have children yet?
362
00:18:14,466 --> 00:18:19,722
I think what my wife means to say
is that we moved from…
363
00:18:19,805 --> 00:18:21,515
Yes, we moved from…
364
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:24,435
And we were married…
365
00:18:24,518 --> 00:18:27,229
Yes, yes, we were married in…
366
00:18:27,938 --> 00:18:31,358
Well? Moved from where? Married when?
367
00:18:31,483 --> 00:18:32,484
Now, patience, Arthur.
368
00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,778
They're setting up their story.
Let them tell it.
369
00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:36,363
We…
370
00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:38,240
Our story…
371
00:18:39,491 --> 00:18:41,577
Yes, what exactly is your story?
372
00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,537
Oh, just leave the poor kids alone.
373
00:18:44,496 --> 00:18:47,041
No, really, I mean,
I think it's a perfectly simple question.
374
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,959
Honestly.
375
00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:50,252
Why did you come here?
376
00:18:51,754 --> 00:18:52,963
Why?
377
00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:56,550
Damn it, why? Why did you…
378
00:19:01,472 --> 00:19:02,973
Oh, Arthur, stop it.
379
00:19:06,185 --> 00:19:08,354
Stop it.
380
00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:10,231
Stop it.
381
00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:15,319
Stop it. Stop it.
382
00:19:16,779 --> 00:19:18,739
Stop it.
383
00:19:18,822 --> 00:19:20,199
Stop it.
384
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,118
Stop it.
385
00:19:23,202 --> 00:19:24,245
Stop it.
386
00:19:26,497 --> 00:19:28,541
Stop it. Stop it.
387
00:19:28,624 --> 00:19:29,667
Stop it.
388
00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:31,836
Stop it.
389
00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:32,962
Vision, help him.
390
00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:48,978
Let me help you up.
391
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:50,479
Give me your hand.
392
00:19:52,231 --> 00:19:53,566
All right, steady on, sir.
393
00:19:58,279 --> 00:20:01,240
Well, would you look
at the time?
394
00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:03,784
Yes. We'd better be going.
395
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,162
Well… Are you both all right?
396
00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:10,332
We had such a lovely time.
397
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:14,086
This guest is leaving your home.
398
00:20:15,754 --> 00:20:17,923
Yes, thank you for coming.
399
00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:21,552
You made me proud tonight, son.
400
00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:24,430
First thing Monday morning,
you and me are gonna have a little chat.
401
00:20:25,389 --> 00:20:27,641
We'll see about that promotion.
402
00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:28,893
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
403
00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:32,563
Thank you.
404
00:20:36,192 --> 00:20:37,318
Oh…
405
00:20:38,777 --> 00:20:40,905
What a charming door knocker.
406
00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:43,449
Good night!
407
00:20:54,877 --> 00:20:56,962
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
408
00:20:57,046 --> 00:20:58,923
Oh, I don't think
that was ever in question.
409
00:20:59,423 --> 00:21:03,761
Well, what I mean is…
We don't have an anniversary.
410
00:21:03,844 --> 00:21:05,554
- Huh.
- Or a song.
411
00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:07,681
Or even wedding rings.
412
00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,141
Well, we could remedy that.
413
00:21:09,808 --> 00:21:11,310
Today could be our anniversary.
414
00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:13,979
Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?
415
00:21:14,063 --> 00:21:16,524
Precisely. And our song could be?
416
00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:17,900
Yakety Yak, naturally.
417
00:21:17,983 --> 00:21:18,984
- Naturally.
- Hmm.
418
00:21:20,653 --> 00:21:21,654
And the rings?
419
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,532
Well, couldn't you make some for us?
420
00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:33,707
I do.
421
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:35,793
Do you?
422
00:21:37,002 --> 00:21:39,213
Yes. I do.
423
00:21:41,006 --> 00:21:42,883
And they lived happily ever after.
31176
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