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ADULT ADAM:
Back in the '80s, I loved
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00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:05,739
"The Greatest American Hero,"
in which an encounter
3
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,375
with aliens causes
schoolteacher Ralph Hinkley
4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,610
to reluctantly lead
a double life.
5
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,879
What a perfectly realized
premise!
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00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,781
Of all the people
to get superpowers,
7
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,883
a mild-mannered guy!
8
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,353
Maybe his ordinariness
is his superpower.
9
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,122
Either way, these are
definitely questions
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00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,590
the show wants us
to be asking.
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00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,593
Of course, in my world,
there was only one curly blond,
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00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,795
garishly costumed superhero.
We're closing.
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00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,131
My beautiful boy needs
a pair of acid-washed jeans,
14
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,132
and he needs them
right now.
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00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,600
I have demands.
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00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,103
You're gonna
give Erica a solo, or it's your ass.
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00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,570
ADULT ADAM:
Nothing could stop her from getting what
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00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,039
she and her family
sort of deserved.
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00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,808
Change the grade.
Change the grade.
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00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,143
Change the grade.
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00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,611
Change the...
Oh, that's nice.
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00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,446
ADULT ADAM: Unfortunately,
I hadn't inherited
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00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,516
my mom's superpower
of being super-pushy.
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00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,418
I wanted to rent
Lethal Weapon,
25
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,953
but you accidentally gave me
Lethal Seduction.
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00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,188
Welcome to adulthood.
27
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,157
I was hoping
I could get a refund?
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00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,725
No. Okey-doke.
29
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,460
Unacceptable!
Everyone's in trouble!
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00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:00,828
ADULT ADAM: Erica and Barry,
on the other hand,
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00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,030
welcomed all kinds
of conflict.
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00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:06,400
This is what's gonna happen.
We're getting 10 free rentals.
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00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,169
And that life-size
cardboard cutout
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00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,403
of offbeat hunk Judd Nelson.
You know what?
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00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,604
Make it two Judd Nelsons
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00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,306
and all the Haagen-Dazs
in the freezer.
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00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,541
I can't do that.
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00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,609
Mr. West Coast Video?
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00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,179
You're about to be
super upset!
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00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,981
Fine. If you just leave,
you can have everything.
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00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,316
Adam, grab our Judds.
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00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,985
Sorry, Nolan.
For your trouble.
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00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,554
ADULT ADAM:
Yep, unlike my siblings,
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00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,123
the last thing I wanted
was any confrontation.
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00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,359
Oh, man! Lasagna.
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00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,195
Even more delicious layers
than a Nora Ephron script.
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00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,198
(CHUCKLES)
The love of lasagna's the one thing Garfield gets right.
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00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,966
Hit me, Helen.
Gimme a sec.
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00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,134
It's the last piece
on the tray,
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00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,202
and she's fighting me.
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00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:42,336
Oh, yeah.
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00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,438
Um, if it's no trouble,
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00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,408
I'd rather have a nice, steamy
piece from that new tray.
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00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,576
And I'd rather have
10 toes
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00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,878
that all point
in the same direction.
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00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,112
God hates us both,
I guess.
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00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,384
Good luck with
your podiatry issues.
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00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,618
(SIGHS)
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00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:58,686
I love lasagna.
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00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,321
Adam, what did you get?
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00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,622
Is that a charred
baseball glove?
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00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,391
That was left
on a desert highway
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00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,125
where it was pummeled
by a convoy?
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00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,227
(CHUCKLES)
I get it!
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00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,028
My lasagna doesn't
look like yours.
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00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,398
Mmm! Beefy goodness.
Golden perfection.
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00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,566
Good for you!
And why are you guys even here?
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00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,901
I don't have class
on Tuesdays,
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00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,503
so I come here
for Jenkintown's
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00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,871
best kept secret,
high school lasagna.
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00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,473
I do have class
on Tuesdays,
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00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,074
but for the first time ever,
Barry is correct.
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00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,443
What the hell's this?
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00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,212
Adam, why is most
of your family here?
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00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,013
I am the Quaker Warden.
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00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,248
It's a ceremonial position
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00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,517
with unlimited power.
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00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,019
For example,
my fully grown children
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00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,722
are able to come here
and eat whatever they want. (LAUGHS)
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00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,290
Schmoopie, go up and get
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00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,859
a new piece of lasagna
that's as delicious as you are.
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00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,528
Ma, I just don't want
to bother Helen.
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00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,930
She's having a bad day.
And life.
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00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,698
(BLEEP)
Ow!
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00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,568
The little, crusty barbs
don't soften in the mouth!
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00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,437
I know the Heimlich!
No, Barry. I'm not choking.
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00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:50,804
No, I wouldn't...
No. Barry...
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00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,573
You can expect
some broken ribs! (GRUNTING)
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00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,042
** I'm twisted up inside
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00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,711
** But nonetheless
I feel the need to say
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00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,216
** I don't know the future
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00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:05,118
** But the past keeps getting
clearer every day
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00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,120
ADULT ADAM:
It was February 24th, 1980-something,
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00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,589
and my dad and Vic were having
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00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,591
a deep, meaningful
conversation.
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00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,460
What do you got between
your bread today, man?
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00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,994
I don't care.
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00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,763
ADULT ADAM:
And that scintillating back-and-forth
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00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,798
was pretty much
their lunch every day... Hey, guys!
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00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,767
ADULT ADAM:
...until Formica Mike joined the team.
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00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,769
What do you say you guys
put down those sad sammies,
102
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,304
we head over
to China Garden?
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00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,972
Well, I've been trying
to get Murray over there
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00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,074
ever since they opened, but,
but he says it's too far.
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00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,141
It's three blocks away!
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00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,076
We're saying the same thing.
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00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,478
Aw, come on, Mur.
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00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,145
My periodontist
says it's great.
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00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,481
They got pandas
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00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,748
all over the wall!
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00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:35,916
I'll pull
the Fleetwood around.
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00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,084
VIC: Let's eat, Mur.
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00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,819
Yeah, I'd like to,
but, unfortunately,
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00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,721
I pulled the footrest out
on this La-Z-Boy.
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00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:41,789
But you clearly haven't.
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00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,958
My mistake.
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00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,827
ADULT ADAM: But it turns out
Vic and Formica Mike
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00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,329
shared more than moo shu.
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00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,163
Oh! You missed it, Mur.
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00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:51,599
Look at the length
of this egg roll.
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00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,401
Is this an elephant's trunk
or what?
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00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,536
Yeah, yeah, yeah, big food.
Where's Vic?
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00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,338
Gave him the rest
of the day off. He needed some Vic time.
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00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,506
Vic time? Why?
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00:03:58,639 --> 00:03:59,940
Well, it's that
daughter of his.
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00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,174
Little Vicky?
Asha.
127
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,943
What is she? About 7 now?
Seventeen.
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00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,813
You didn't let me finish.
Teen.
129
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,615
Yeah, she's going off to
college, and he's just...
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00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,352
He's having a hard time
knowing that his,
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00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,753
his little girl's
leaving forever.
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00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,289
I'm just surprised that
you're telling me and not Vic.
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00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,624
I think this is less about
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00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,459
my relationship with Vic
and more about yours.
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00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,161
Look, Pete Rose could hit
a double with this thing!
136
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,663
Boom!
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00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,132
ADULT ADAM: As my dad realized
Vic was a mystery to him,
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00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,201
I had no clue what my mom
was about to hit me with.
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00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,670
Adam, I'm concerned.
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00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,306
Gah! My body's bigger,
so I need longer showers!
141
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,374
It's just math.
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00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,242
I have failed you.
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00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,978
You are a sweet,
kind, patient boy,
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00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,980
and I have no one
but myself to blame.
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00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,148
What are you saying?
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00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,484
I think your mom's implying
you're a doormat.
147
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,253
Ding-ding-ding!
After your sad lasagna incident,
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00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,055
I realized I'm not
always gonna be there
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00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,090
to fight your fights
for you.
150
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,360
There's gonna be hours,
sometimes entire afternoons
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00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,861
where you're all alone.
152
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,129
We have very different
visions of my future.
153
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,166
Every Goldberg child must
learn to fend for himself.
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00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,068
The world's job is to bend
155
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,203
and often break to my will.
156
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,906
You have to take what's yours,
and also what's not.
157
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,876
It's time to teach
my coddled baby not to be a pushover.
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00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,511
Or we could all
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00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,381
just leave the gentle,
kind-hearted child alone.
160
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,849
No! Here are some phrases
you'll need.
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00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,951
"I'd like to speak
to your manager,"
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00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,821
"The sign says 'closed,'
but the light is on,"
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00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,990
and, "You can't prove this
wasn't on the sale rack."
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00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,257
Those seem
pretty horrible.
165
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,426
Now you're getting it!
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00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,028
And don't be afraid to use
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00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,563
the environment
around you.
168
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:30,998
Stomp, toss stuff,
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00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,199
knock things over.
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00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,767
I like to swing
my emotions around.
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00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,235
One moment,
I'm gently pleading.
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00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,237
The next, I'm on the ground
crying and kicking security.
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00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,039
Practice scenario.
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00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,642
You're in a clothing store,
and Barry is the owner.
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00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,311
Not clothing.
It's a BMX store
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00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,514
owned by my character,
Spokes Driscoll,
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00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,049
but my real dream
is to overcome the issues
178
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,551
that got me kicked off
the circuit.
179
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,620
You're gonna give him
that long of a creative leash?
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00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,054
It adds color.
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00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,924
Now, you are returning
a BMX-icle that you've used
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00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,192
for six years,
and you want a full refund.
183
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,260
Go.
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00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,229
Ugh! Fine.
185
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,665
Excuse me.
Mr. Driscoll?
186
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,468
Name's Spokes.
And we're closed.
187
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,802
Well, when are you open?
188
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,070
For one second a day.
189
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,739
What? That just seems
like a bad business plan!
190
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,441
No one criticizes
191
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,743
Spokes Driscoll's
business acumen!
192
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,377
Do you even know who I am?
193
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,146
A loose cannon named
Spokes Driscoll?
194
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,280
He got it in one.
195
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,749
Now to crank up
the difficulty,
196
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,351
Erica has cut
in front of you.
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00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,653
I thought
the place was closed.
198
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,755
Come any closer,
and I'll mace you, perv!
199
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,490
I was just standing here!
Hey!
200
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:33,093
Local deviant. Are you
bothering this nice lady?
201
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,463
Spokes' Pool Tables and Bikes
might be closed,
202
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,765
but I'm open
to kicking your butt.
203
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,700
You sell
pool tables now, too?
204
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,770
Excuse me. Are you the owner
of that AMC Pacer out front?
205
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,105
Oh, please say I'm not.
You are.
206
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,375
I'm attractive
local meter maid Isabella Bianco,
207
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,311
and I'm gonna haul that pile
of junk to the impound lot
208
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:54,114
if you don't pay my bribe,
a thousand kissies.
209
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,348
Ah. (MIMICS KISSING)
210
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,518
The Italian meter maid
wants to nuzzle me?
211
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,687
Am I the only one
losing the thread?
212
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,022
Mmm. Try to follow this.
The police are on their way,
213
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,324
and you messed with the wrong
lady buying a pool table!
214
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,959
Whoo-whoo!
Whoo-whoo!
215
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,895
No! Maybe I should
come back tomorrow?
216
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,797
No. Tomorrow,
we're closed forever.
217
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,298
I'm going back
to the circuit!
218
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,502
The BMX tribunal
retested my blood. I'm clean, baby.
219
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:15,803
Good for you, Barry.
220
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,871
I feel like Spokes
really needed a win.
221
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,372
And, scene!
222
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,975
Oh! Chills.
223
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,111
Adam, how do you think
you did?
224
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,979
Uh, pretty decent,
given the situation.
225
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,414
(MIMICS BUZZER)
You did crap.
226
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,149
You really did.
You suck, bro.
227
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,152
Well, you know what?
(BLEEP) all of you!
228
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,355
That's right! (BLEEP)
all of you and your dumb (BLEEP) faces!
229
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,691
(DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS)
230
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,828
And that, my Schmoo,
231
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,397
is a great first step
in finding your voice!
232
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:45,933
Oh, my gosh!
BEVERLY: Yeah.
233
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,735
Let's have ice cream.
Whoo!
234
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,402
ADULT ADAM:
While I was finding my way,
235
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:52,005
my dad was still
feeling a bit lost.
236
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,575
Mur, you've barely touched
your third helping of tater bombs.
237
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,209
What's wrong?
238
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,046
If you had something going on,
you'd tell me about it, right?
239
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,615
Depends. Is there
anybody else in the world? I'm being serious.
240
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:04,484
Mur, I love you
like a tick loves a hound,
241
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,253
but a listener
you are not.
242
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,755
There are things
you haven't told me?
243
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,389
So many.
Like what?
244
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,559
I hold two boomerang
world records.
245
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,627
I was an Admiral
in the Coast Guard.
246
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,229
Last year, I found a third
nipple on my shoulder.
247
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,865
I love birds.
248
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,667
They can fly!
249
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,468
That's God's best
magic trick.
250
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,036
Well, you could've told me.
Not that nonsense about
251
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,205
the third nipple,
but, you know, about birds.
252
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,439
I love fried chicken.
253
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,809
I've tried, but the moment
I start sharing
254
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,611
is the moment
you stop caring.
255
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:34,381
Not anymore. From now on, I'm
gonna be there for my friend.
256
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,216
Music to my ears.
257
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,252
Tomorrow, I'm having
an elective procedure on my shoulder.
258
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,854
Where you going?
259
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,023
I'm gonna go be there for my
friend Vic. I just told you.
260
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,157
(DOOR OPENS)
261
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:47,094
Hey, Vic.
Any, uh, emotional stuff
262
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,196
you want to get off your chest
about your kid
263
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,899
or is everything okay
and I can be on my way?
264
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,801
What's happening now?
265
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,202
I just wanted to know
if you wanted to talk.
266
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,105
You know, you and me talking.
But if... Either/or.
267
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,140
You talk, not talk.
It's good with me.
268
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,442
Hey, Vic. What do you say
we go over to Mahmoud's
269
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,644
for some fattoush?
270
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:04,912
I don't know what it is,
271
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,614
but they say it's
the best in the city.
272
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,849
Oh, wonderful.
The culinary trip continues.
273
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,283
Great!
Mur, what do you say?
274
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,954
Nah, I'm good. I'm good.
You guys seem to have it down.
275
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,089
Have a good time.
It's your loss, because
276
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,726
the falafel, they're
as big as volleyballs!
277
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,928
You don't dip them
in the hummus. You spike 'em!
278
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,429
(VIC LAUGHS)
Come on, let's go!
279
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,331
ADULT ADAM: While my dad
couldn't connect with Vic,
280
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,466
I was trying to connect
with my inner Beverly.
281
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,802
You have it in you to get
the lasagna you deserve.
282
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,537
Now make your mama proud.
283
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,642
Hello, Helen.
I'd like some lasagna.
284
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,943
From the middle, please.
285
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,145
Sorry. Middle's
for the pretty people.
286
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,047
ADULT ADAM:
In that moment, I decided
287
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,115
I wasn't going to be
a doormat forever.
288
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,851
So I dug deep and deployed
289
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,452
one of my mom's
favorite phrases.
290
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,721
I'd like to speak
to your manager.
291
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,790
Is there a problem,
Mr. Goldberg?
292
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,659
There is,
Principal Ball.
293
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,361
I eat here every day,
and, consistently,
294
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,496
Helen serves me
the lasagna dregs.
295
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,365
I appreciate you
pointing that out.
296
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,467
Rest assured I will do nothing
about it.
297
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,869
Then I will.
298
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,904
Dave Kim, are you still
on the school paper?
299
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,339
Yes. I have a weekly
humor column.
300
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,309
It's a sardonic look
at high school called "Kim's Whims."
301
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,477
Everyone hates it.
302
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,913
So you could write
a scathing expose about
303
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,448
how this institution
discriminates against students
304
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,550
of the nerd variety?
305
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,086
Negative press?
306
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,689
I've seen the movies.
Nerds are vengeful.
307
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,124
And, Brea!
You're popular, yes?
308
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,426
I'm not lacking
in social capital.
309
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,029
So you could tell
the cool kids to eat somewhere else?
310
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,398
Where the cool kids go,
everyone goes!
311
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,934
Oh, sir, please, no.
We value your business.
312
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:37,004
Then earn it, or I'll make
a scene so insane,
313
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,639
it'll make Beverly Goldberg
seem reasonable!
314
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,710
Get this fine gentleman
two center-cut pieces.
315
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,044
(SOFTLY) Yes!
316
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,178
Sorry for the
inconvenience, sir.
317
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,581
Next time,
ask for me by name. Earl.
318
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,183
Oh...
319
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,752
Did I get a good piece?
320
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,053
I blacked out there
for a while.
321
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,188
Schmoo, you got
the best piece.
322
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,758
And even better than that,
you got my powers!
323
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,027
(Laughs)
324
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,431
ADULT ADAM:
My dad realized he needed to be a better friend to Vic,
325
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,399
so he turned to an expert
on the subject.
326
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,201
Hey, Mr. G.
Don't mind me.
327
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,203
I'm just waiting for
the ol' ball and chain,
328
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,205
a.k.a. your daughter.
I struggle with small talk.
329
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,274
But you're good
with big talk, right?
330
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,843
Well, if you mean
compassion and understanding,
331
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:16,944
then, yeah,
I'm your fella.
332
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,045
Cop a squat. Come on.
333
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,213
Wow. Is this an overture
of friendship?
334
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,149
You know, I always pictured us
on a horseback trail ride
335
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,251
or building a log cabin
together, but I'll take it.
336
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:27,020
Yes, horses and logs.
337
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:30,557
What does it take
to be a good friend?
338
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,725
Well, there's more
than one thing.
339
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,226
This is becoming a hassle.
340
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,461
The first step
is listening.
341
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,064
All right. Hit me
with your first step!
342
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,933
I just did,
but here's a technique that might also help.
343
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,468
Uh, echoing.
Echoing?
344
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,635
See? You're a natural.
345
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,171
Why are you making this
so difficult?
346
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,405
Pretend we're best bros.
347
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,808
That's a big ask,
but let's do it.
348
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:48,942
Share something
that troubles you.
349
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,811
Nope.
Off to a slow start.
350
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,346
But here's another
sure-fire tip to make someone know you care.
351
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,882
Give the perfect gift.
352
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,716
Listening and giving gifts.
353
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,584
What are we married?
354
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,286
Ugh!
(DOOR SLAMS)
355
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,888
The worst day ever!
356
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,722
I'm listening, Bar.
Tell your amigo Geoff what's wrong.
357
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,457
Nobody signed my petition
358
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:07,094
to make nunchucking
an Olympic sport!
359
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,097
Now I'll have to win gold
at something dumb, like swimming.
360
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,932
So nobody signed
your petition,
361
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,767
and now your only Olympic hope
is dumb swimming.
362
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,668
You get it.
(SIGHS)
363
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,305
My dismay is subsiding 'cause
I feel super heard right now.
364
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,807
Maybe this will also help.
365
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:21,842
"Hang in There!"?
366
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,110
I saw it and thought of you.
367
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,345
'Cause I'm like
the jacked kitten
368
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,015
whose perseverance will
inevitably be rewarded!
369
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,650
Thanks, Geoff!
You're a great friend.
370
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,119
(SIGHS AND LAUGHS)
371
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,822
And that's how it's done.
372
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,024
ADULT ADAM: As my dad was
buying into Geoff's advice,
373
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,126
my new powers of being
impossibly difficult
374
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,294
had made me unstoppable.
375
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,096
I'm sorry.
I was next.
376
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,332
Congratulations.
You're still next.
377
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,567
I picked my movie from
the "Staff Picks" section.
378
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,470
Tell Brad P. from Allentown to
get his eyes and ears checked,
379
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,873
'cause this movie sucks!
380
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,541
ADULT ADAM:
Sure, it took a while for me to find my voice,
381
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,310
but I was finally a nightmare.
382
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,212
Goldberg! What the hell
are you doing?
383
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,548
Just taking a load off
at my new desk.
384
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,183
Oh, no, no, no.
That's mine.
385
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,118
That's where I keep
my papers and my gum.
386
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,888
Not anymore,
unless you want me to speak to your manager.
387
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,156
(SINGSONG VOICE)
Oh, Earl!
388
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,091
Hi.
389
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,726
It seems that young Goldberg
has learned how to harness
390
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:16,163
his disgruntlement
much like his mother.
391
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,265
So let the boy sit
where he wants.
392
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,133
Smart choice.
Damn it!
393
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:23,170
ADULT ADAM:
Yep, for better or worse, I had all my mom's powers,
394
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,938
and it was awesome!
395
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,740
'Sup, fools?
A phone without wires?
396
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,476
More like a future
without limits!
397
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,978
And why do you have it,
exactly?
398
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,380
The Radio Shack manager
gave it to me
399
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,115
to stop threatening
legal action when they kept me
400
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,085
waiting in line to buy
batteries. Nice, huh?
401
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,519
Actually, that's
kinda gross, Adam.
402
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,255
I miss the old version of you,
the spineless guy who was weak
403
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,391
and unintimidating
and barely landed Brea.
404
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,725
He has a good point.
405
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:46,860
(CELLPHONE RINGS)
Just a sec.
406
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,195
Go for Goldie.
407
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,098
Forget 'em.
They can't grasp our powers.
408
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,366
You'll lose many important
relationships along the way.
409
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,268
Like my girlfriend
and best pal?
410
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,603
Just a sec.
411
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:57,737
You got Gold.
412
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:58,906
It's a small price to pay
for always
413
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,373
getting what
you're entitled to.
414
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,575
Didn't you guys graduate
like three years ago?
415
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,777
Come on, Adam.
Leave these phoneless drips, okay?
416
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:08,215
We're gonna go
enjoy the spoils of your newfound powers.
417
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,017
Wow! I have a feeling
these cellphones
418
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,085
are gonna change people
for the better.
419
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,321
ADULT ADAM:
While Barry and Erica kept me on the path to being pushy,
420
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,223
my dad was ready to pull out
421
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,358
some of Geoff's
signature moves.
422
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,727
So, Vic,
what you got happenin'?
423
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,429
ADULT ADAM:
First, there was listening.
424
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,297
Do I have bok choy
in my 'stache or something?
425
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:27,267
I'm just listening,
like I always do.
426
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,937
We were chatting about
father-daughter stuff.
427
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,371
ADULT ADAM: Then he echoed.
428
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,406
Chattin' about
father-daughter stuff.
429
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,975
That's what I just said.
430
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,509
Yeah, yeah, that's
what you just said.
431
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,945
Why are you repeating
everything I say?
432
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,080
Why am I repeating
everything you say?
433
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,150
I don't know,
and it's making me wildly uncomfortable.
434
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,618
ADULT ADAM:
When none of that worked, he gifted.
435
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,121
You know, when my kids
went off to college,
436
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,758
someone gave me
a Penn sweatshirt,
437
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,261
and I want to do
the same for you.
438
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,263
What is this?
MIKE Arizona State!
439
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,465
Nice! America's
number-one party school.
440
00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,832
But Asha's
going to Dartmouth.
441
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,334
Swing and a miss.
442
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,603
Those two institutions
are not alike.
443
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,273
And I'm the one who gave you
the Penn sweatshirt.
444
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,141
Are you sure?
Yeah, I 00:15:10,010
(GROANS)
Vic, I'm trying here.
446
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,278
Oh, you're trying?
447
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,346
What's my daughter's name?
448
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,086
Mmm-hmm. Exactly.
449
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,520
And where's she going
to college?
450
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,023
Oh, come on!
We just said it! You got this, Mur!
451
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,857
It starts with a "Z."
452
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,526
No school
starts with "Z"!
453
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:27,927
This is why I don't
tell you anything, Mur,
454
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,796
because you don't listen!
(SIGHS)
455
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,897
And what's worse,
456
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,600
you can't even
pretend to care.
457
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,905
It was Dartmouth.
It's a good school.
458
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,807
You know,
Dr. Seuss went there.
459
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,343
ADULT ADAM:
Turns out communication was my dad's kryptonite
460
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,046
but my superpower
had no weakness.
461
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,681
Except this.
ADAM: Oh, no.
462
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,718
An adult leaving
their workplace with a box of personal effects?
463
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,853
Movies and TV have taught me
that can only mean one thing.
464
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,822
Yeah, they canned me.
465
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,325
Hope you liked your
"edible lasagna."
466
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,860
I did, but not like this.
I'll fix this.
467
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,563
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)
468
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,299
Poopy, what's wrong?
You're all flustered and worked up.
469
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,435
(GASPS) Wait.
Is this a prom-posal?
470
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,702
Are we going?
Is this happening?
471
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,371
What? Never!
472
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,340
Your loss.
You'll never see the dress
473
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,175
I picked out
that matches your eyes.
474
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,044
Enough!
They fired Helen.
475
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,112
Oh, that's a shame.
That's it?
476
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,748
A full-grown lady lost her
livelihood because of me.
477
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,851
Not because of you.
She wasn't doing her job well.
478
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,519
It's terrible,
but it happens.
479
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,421
You know, I used to think
you were like Ralph Hinkley.
480
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,257
The guy that shot Reagan?
No!
481
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,858
The Greatest American Hero!
482
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,694
Well, I've never seen it.
You know what is a good show?
483
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,330
"Unsolved Mysteries"
with Robert Stack.
484
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,965
ADAM: You know what else
is a mystery?
485
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,068
Why I thought
behaving like you was okay.
486
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,177
ADULT ADAM:
Principal Ball had fired Helen because of me.
487
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,911
There was no way
I could let that stand.
488
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,382
Mr. Goldberg.
Are you finding everything to your liking today?
489
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,650
I'm not.
It's about Helen.
490
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,288
I fired her.
Was that not good enough?
491
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,690
I'd be very happy
to do it again in front of more people
492
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,024
if it would please you.
493
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,295
Opposite.
I'm humbly asking you to hire her back.
494
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,297
I was the one
who was out of line.
495
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,232
Her only mistake
was permanent crankiness.
496
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,602
That and the 17 unexplained
absences this semester.
497
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,304
Really?
I'm a heavy sleeper.
498
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,405
Well, no one's perfect.
499
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,906
Helen certainly isn't.
500
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,376
She also stole many food items
from the cafeteria.
501
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,112
You can't prove
I was the one who swiped
502
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,114
14 gallons of liquid cheese
to throw a nacho party
503
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,015
for some sailors
on leave.
504
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,983
What a long
and oddly specific denial.
505
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,920
And there was the unauthorized
use of our cafeteria
506
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,124
during Winter Break
for a three-day "pajama-jammy-jam."
507
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,758
For God's sake, Helen!
508
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:39,992
I told you,
I'm a heavy drinker.
509
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,694
You said "sleeper"!
510
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:42,862
It's all connected.
511
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,265
Petty criminal or not,
Helen's a fixture here.
512
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,634
She used to slip me
extra pizza
513
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,936
when I got anxious
in kindergarten.
514
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,273
Sure, they were lousy corner
pieces, but once in a while,
515
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,408
a pepperoni would
find its way on top.
516
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,145
So, if you could,
just please give her
517
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,148
whatever number chance
this would be.
518
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,151
That was a very impassioned
defense of her character,
519
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,486
despite all the evidence
to the contrary.
520
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,155
I try to see
the good in people.
521
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,490
As head of a Quaker school,
522
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:14,026
I guess that's something
we should all strive for.
523
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,728
Helen, welcome back.
524
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,165
We did it!
Not so fast.
525
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,600
I'd like a raise.
No!
526
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,502
Whatever.
I'll get mine.
527
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,438
Still kind of a win.
528
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,508
ADULT ADAM:
With that, I learned to use my powers for good.
529
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,377
But I wasn't the only one
trying to right a wrong.
530
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,680
I, uh, just want
to say that, uh,
531
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,649
I'm sorry for not being there
for you and what not.
532
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,619
It's okay, Murray.
It is what it is.
533
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,688
ADULT ADAM:
Again, my dad came up short.
534
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,357
But then, instead of following
everyone else's advice,
535
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,858
he followed his heart.
536
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,661
Naps.
537
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:49,862
Naps?
What are you talking about?
538
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:53,233
When Barry and Erica
went off to college,
539
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,834
I missed them terribly.
540
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,469
I didn't know that, Murray.
Yeah.
541
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,205
And whenever I felt
really bad,
542
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,873
I'd go take a nap
in one of their rooms. Really?
543
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,410
I don't know if it was
picturing them or the memories,
544
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,378
but when I woke up,
felt great.
545
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,380
Wow.
546
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,515
I'm gonna try that.
547
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,049
Works every time.
548
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,320
Well, thanks, Murray.
That means a lot.
549
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:17,123
Look, I know I'm not good
with feelings or saying stuff,
550
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,760
but, uh, I want you to know
you mean a lot to me.
551
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:23,396
Oh, Murray, you,
you big, beautiful man, you.
552
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,531
Get on in here.
553
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,932
No, no.
Don't do that.
554
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,234
Oh...
That's not what I... Oh.
555
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,471
Hey.
Hey to you.
556
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,373
Look, I never should have
said those things.
557
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,643
It's okay.
I know who I am.
558
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,110
But, more importantly,
I know who you are.
559
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,680
A sweet, kind-hearted kid
560
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,882
who always sees
the best in people.
561
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,051
You're not upset
that I don't want to stand up for myself
562
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:45,985
like you do?
563
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,054
Adam, I was wrong.
564
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,824
You being polite
and accommodating is not a weakness.
565
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,460
It's your
greatest strength.
566
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,528
Caring, compassion,
kindness,
567
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,230
those are
your superpowers.
568
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,566
I wouldn't go that far.
569
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,335
I saw what you did for Helen.
That was pretty heroic.
570
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,272
Thanks. But it was
probably a mistake.
571
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,906
She's not great.
572
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,276
Well, maybe not.
But you are.
573
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,111
MAN: (SINGING)
** Believe it or not I'm walking on air
574
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,581
ADULT ADAM:
That day, I learned that maybe the best way
575
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,517
to stand up for yourself
is by just being yourself.
576
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,151
** Flyin' away
on a wing and a prayer
577
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,153
ADULT ADAM:
'Cause the truth is, listening, opening up,
578
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,789
and doing the right thing,
579
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,492
those are the superpowers
we all have.
580
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:26,793
** Believe it or not
it's just me
581
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,261
ADULT ADAM: The trick is
having the courage
582
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,597
to know when to use them.
583
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,932
In the end,
the greatest heroes
584
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,868
are the ones who will be there
for you no matter what.
585
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,340
WOMAN: I hope he's not using
your prom tape!
586
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,309
MAN: Oh, he is.
Are you using my side?
587
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:45,512
WOMAN: Where's the tape
of his prom? It's in the den.
588
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,746
WOMAN: I want it
in the camera. Come on. Boom.
589
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:47,947
Mike, stop!
590
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,616
Would you... Please?
591
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:55,522
Scenario!
Spokes Driscoll has ventured
592
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,024
into the lucrative world of
professional trampolining.
593
00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:59,326
I'm not doing this.
594
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,828
It combines the acrobatics
of men's gymnastics
595
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,363
with the whimsy
of jumping on a bed.
596
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,797
Just get on with it.
597
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:08,067
You want to buy
the Spring-atron 5000 from me
598
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,970
at the price of the much
crappier Spring-atron 4000.
599
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,305
Go!
600
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,006
May I please...
Never.
601
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,708
Now try to get me to honor
602
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,176
a competitor's coupon
603
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,778
for 99% off.
604
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,347
It doesn't seem likely, but...
605
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,416
Never! Now ask
to see the manager.
606
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,184
Are you the...
Never!
607
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,620
You know what?
Keep the trampoline. I'm leaving.
608
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,021
We value your business.
609
00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:30,957
Aha!
610
00:21:31,007 --> 00:21:35,557
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