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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:55,499 David Wozniak, room 4. 2 00:00:55,903 --> 00:00:58,903 You have tissues, towels, a pitcher of water and a sink. 3 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,240 You can settle in here. 4 00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:04,241 Here's all the reading material you might need. 5 00:01:04,311 --> 00:01:05,545 Your cup. 6 00:01:05,546 --> 00:01:08,546 When you're done, come see me. 7 00:02:04,238 --> 00:02:07,238 PAST DUE 8 00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:06,030 David. 9 00:03:09,837 --> 00:03:12,472 David. 10 00:03:12,473 --> 00:03:15,473 I brought you your breakfast. 11 00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:32,022 OK! OK! 12 00:03:47,674 --> 00:03:50,674 Hey. 13 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,015 Dad's looking for you. You're 45 minutes late. 14 00:03:56,016 --> 00:03:57,750 Can you move it this morning? 15 00:03:57,751 --> 00:03:59,919 Sure. Morning, Mom. 16 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,755 - You took the truck home again? - Yup. 17 00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:05,324 I asked you not to use the delivery truck 18 00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:07,093 for personal reasons. 19 00:04:07,094 --> 00:04:09,262 - Did you? - But you do it anyway. 20 00:04:09,263 --> 00:04:10,596 - Yeah. - Yeah. 21 00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:13,432 - Did you at least get the jerseys? - Yes. 22 00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:15,701 No, for real. 23 00:04:15,702 --> 00:04:17,770 Do you have the jerseys for tonight? 24 00:04:17,771 --> 00:04:20,771 Yes! 25 00:04:21,074 --> 00:04:24,074 Yes. 26 00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:27,111 Yes, yes! 27 00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:31,115 Yes, dear. 28 00:04:32,452 --> 00:04:35,452 Yes. 29 00:04:36,223 --> 00:04:39,091 I should never have knocked that woman up. 30 00:04:39,092 --> 00:04:42,092 Reproduction is a mistake. Never reproduce. 31 00:04:42,763 --> 00:04:44,363 I've got a customer. 32 00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:46,566 - I gotta talk to you. - Mr. Dub�. 33 00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:49,567 - Hang up! Hang up! - Yeah. Bye. 34 00:04:49,903 --> 00:04:51,604 I gotta talk to you. 35 00:04:51,605 --> 00:04:54,605 To help pay off my debts... 36 00:04:55,409 --> 00:04:58,409 I set up a small hydroponic garden in my apartment. 37 00:04:58,545 --> 00:04:59,612 You're growing pot? 38 00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:01,814 Yeah, but I'm having trouble, 39 00:05:01,815 --> 00:05:04,815 and you're the only one I know with a green thumb. 40 00:05:05,218 --> 00:05:08,218 You want me to help you grow pot. 41 00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:10,423 You've got a green thumb. 42 00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:13,326 Sure! Of course! Absolutely! 43 00:05:13,327 --> 00:05:16,327 That's the one thing I'm missing: being part of a drug ring. 44 00:05:18,065 --> 00:05:20,766 Calls every three minutes from my pregnant wife 45 00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:22,935 aren't stressful enough. 46 00:05:22,936 --> 00:05:24,470 I wanna live a double life 47 00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:27,471 so I can get called in to testify at a major drug trial. 48 00:05:28,842 --> 00:05:31,842 So, what do you say? 49 00:05:32,412 --> 00:05:34,347 No, David. 50 00:05:34,348 --> 00:05:37,348 My answer is no. 51 00:05:38,685 --> 00:05:41,685 How much do you owe? 52 00:05:43,624 --> 00:05:46,092 How much do you owe? 53 00:05:46,093 --> 00:05:48,694 Eighty. 54 00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:51,364 Eighty? 55 00:05:51,365 --> 00:05:52,632 Thousand. 56 00:05:52,633 --> 00:05:55,201 $80,000? 57 00:05:55,202 --> 00:05:58,202 When you say it with a face like that, it sounds like a lot. 58 00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:00,606 David! 59 00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:03,476 You know I love you like a son. 60 00:06:03,477 --> 00:06:04,844 I am your son. 61 00:06:04,845 --> 00:06:06,779 Which is why I love you like a son. 62 00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:09,780 But if you don't have ourjerseys for the game tonight... 63 00:06:11,718 --> 00:06:13,619 I've got the jerseys. 64 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,888 It's the first game of the season. 65 00:06:15,889 --> 00:06:18,889 They're taking the team picture. We need the jerseys. 66 00:06:19,826 --> 00:06:20,893 I have the jerseys. 67 00:06:20,894 --> 00:06:22,728 You ask him about the jerseys? 68 00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:25,231 I have the jerseys. 69 00:06:25,232 --> 00:06:28,232 You were supposed to get them three weeks ago. 70 00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:31,468 I have the jerseys! 71 00:06:34,741 --> 00:06:37,741 He obviously doesn't have the jerseys. 72 00:06:38,578 --> 00:06:41,578 No. 73 00:06:51,892 --> 00:06:53,759 I was here first! 74 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,760 My blinkers were on. I was backing up. 75 00:06:57,431 --> 00:07:00,431 I'm gonna have to ask you to move your car, please. 76 00:07:02,269 --> 00:07:05,269 I'm already parked. 77 00:07:05,372 --> 00:07:06,839 I'm here! 78 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,107 He came in from behind. 79 00:07:08,108 --> 00:07:11,108 If I don't get those jerseys, I'm a dead man. 80 00:07:11,211 --> 00:07:14,211 Thank you! 81 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,787 HYDROPONICS 82 00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:24,788 HYDROPONIC GARDENING 83 00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:30,728 No rolling papers with this? 84 00:07:37,471 --> 00:07:39,805 Your loan has been declined. 85 00:07:39,806 --> 00:07:41,373 If I don't find $80,000, 86 00:07:41,374 --> 00:07:44,374 men are gonna come to my house and drown me. 87 00:07:44,478 --> 00:07:47,478 Did you write that down, that I'll be drowned? 88 00:07:47,714 --> 00:07:50,149 You don't have the required collateral. 89 00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:52,952 That's why we can't give you the money. 90 00:07:52,953 --> 00:07:55,154 If you have no assets for us to seize, 91 00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:58,155 what guarantee do we have that we won't lose our money? 92 00:07:58,992 --> 00:08:01,627 So, basically, you're a big goddamn pawn shop. 93 00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:03,462 We're not a pawn shop. 94 00:08:03,463 --> 00:08:06,463 You're a big goddamn pawn shop with fancier furniture. 95 00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:09,135 So, I'm forced to decline your application. 96 00:08:09,136 --> 00:08:11,570 I'm sorry. 97 00:08:11,571 --> 00:08:14,571 Fine, I understand. 98 00:08:15,842 --> 00:08:18,244 This is a hold-up. 99 00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:19,979 Pardon me? 100 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:22,980 I said: "Fine, I understand." 101 00:08:25,452 --> 00:08:27,019 This is a hold-up, asshole. 102 00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:30,020 I've got the jerseys. 103 00:08:30,357 --> 00:08:33,357 I swear on our mother's grave! 104 00:08:34,661 --> 00:08:37,661 Yeah, Mom's! 105 00:08:37,864 --> 00:08:40,864 The jerseys are in the truck as we speak. 106 00:09:19,672 --> 00:09:22,672 The whole point of a relationship is to share the good moments, 107 00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:25,643 and the bad moments. 108 00:09:25,644 --> 00:09:28,644 But when you leave someone, you lose those privileges. 109 00:09:28,747 --> 00:09:30,815 I never left you! 110 00:09:30,816 --> 00:09:32,817 You never call or email. 111 00:09:32,818 --> 00:09:35,818 - You're always trying to con me. - No, I'm not! 112 00:09:35,821 --> 00:09:38,156 - Why can't I come over? - You can! 113 00:09:38,157 --> 00:09:40,425 What are you hiding in your apartment? 114 00:09:40,426 --> 00:09:42,160 You're imagining things! 115 00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:45,161 I never said that! You can come whenever you want! 116 00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:49,365 I'm pregnant. 117 00:10:02,248 --> 00:10:03,715 I'll raise it on my own. 118 00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:05,283 What do you mean by that? 119 00:10:05,284 --> 00:10:08,284 I don't want a father who disappears because he's too busy. 120 00:10:09,054 --> 00:10:12,054 I don't want a father who doesn't have a life. 121 00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:15,360 - I do have a life. - No, you don't. 122 00:10:15,361 --> 00:10:17,929 You don't wake a pregnant woman up at 2:00 a.m.! 123 00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:19,197 I didn't know! 124 00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:22,198 If you called more often, you would have. 125 00:10:22,234 --> 00:10:24,769 One day, this kid will ask what you were like. 126 00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:26,638 I'd rather be honest. 127 00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:28,239 I'll say you weren't there 128 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,240 because you really had no interest in being there. 129 00:10:32,311 --> 00:10:34,245 But I am here. 130 00:10:34,246 --> 00:10:37,148 I'm here! 131 00:10:37,149 --> 00:10:40,149 Val�rie, I'm right here! 132 00:10:40,653 --> 00:10:43,653 Sure, it came as a bit of a shock at first. 133 00:10:44,223 --> 00:10:47,223 A real big shock, actually. 134 00:10:47,426 --> 00:10:50,426 But the fear wore off right away and I thought: 135 00:10:50,829 --> 00:10:53,564 It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 136 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,732 No! 137 00:10:54,733 --> 00:10:57,402 Etienne, get back to bed. 138 00:10:57,403 --> 00:11:00,403 It's 3:00 in the morning. Back to bed! 139 00:11:01,607 --> 00:11:03,508 It's time to sleep. Go to bed! 140 00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:05,343 Where are you going? 141 00:11:05,344 --> 00:11:07,779 Not in the sandbox! 142 00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,581 Not in the sandbox! 143 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,517 Talk her into an abortion. 144 00:11:12,518 --> 00:11:14,452 What? 145 00:11:14,453 --> 00:11:17,453 You can't say things like that in front of your kids. 146 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:20,589 My kids know they're too old to be aborted. 147 00:11:20,859 --> 00:11:23,859 I'm telling you that I think I might want to have a child. 148 00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:26,864 David... 149 00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:28,866 you're free. 150 00:11:28,867 --> 00:11:30,702 You're a free man. 151 00:11:30,703 --> 00:11:32,937 Believe me, you don't want children. 152 00:11:32,938 --> 00:11:35,606 They're like... 153 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,209 black holes that suck up all your energy, 154 00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:40,378 all your time, all your money, 155 00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:41,479 all your hair. 156 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,480 Do you remember when I had hair, David? 157 00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:47,485 I can't get it up anymore. It's as simple as that. 158 00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,854 How can you say that in front of your kids? 159 00:11:49,855 --> 00:11:52,657 I can say whatever I want. They don't listen to me. 160 00:11:52,658 --> 00:11:55,560 They don't pick up the frequency of my voice. 161 00:11:55,561 --> 00:11:58,561 I can't get a decent hard-on. 162 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,630 At my age, it isn't normal not to have a full erection. 163 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:04,700 I should wake up with a raging boner every morning. 164 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,738 That's what my life should be. 165 00:12:06,739 --> 00:12:09,507 No, sweetie pie, back to bed. 166 00:12:09,508 --> 00:12:11,242 It's 3:00 in the morning. 167 00:12:11,243 --> 00:12:14,243 Not in the sandbox. You too? 168 00:12:16,415 --> 00:12:18,483 No! 169 00:12:18,484 --> 00:12:21,484 Go to sleep! 170 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,187 I want a child. 171 00:12:23,188 --> 00:12:25,890 David, as your friend and your lawyer, can I - 172 00:12:25,891 --> 00:12:27,258 Daddy! 173 00:12:27,259 --> 00:12:30,259 Can I be brutally honest with you? 174 00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:31,929 Yes. 175 00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:34,930 You are in no way capable of raising a child. 176 00:12:35,901 --> 00:12:37,235 I want order in my life. 177 00:12:37,236 --> 00:12:40,236 You think this is order? 178 00:12:40,272 --> 00:12:41,372 Yeah. 179 00:12:41,373 --> 00:12:44,373 This is beautiful. 180 00:12:48,447 --> 00:12:51,447 Val�rie! 181 00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:57,622 I've decided to make some changes. 182 00:12:57,623 --> 00:13:00,358 I'm working right now. 183 00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:03,359 I'm gonna show you I'm worthy of being the father of that child. 184 00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:40,930 David Wozniak. 185 00:13:40,999 --> 00:13:43,668 The name's Chamberlan. 186 00:13:43,669 --> 00:13:45,670 The kitchen door was kicked in. 187 00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:48,671 I'm a lawyer. I've been trying to reach you. 188 00:13:52,678 --> 00:13:55,580 I don't have a lot of time. I'll be brief. 189 00:13:55,581 --> 00:13:58,581 Between 1988 and 1990, 190 00:13:59,017 --> 00:14:02,017 you donated sperm, under the alias of "Starbuck" 191 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:05,020 at the Lafrance Clinic, which I represent. 192 00:14:05,991 --> 00:14:08,991 You made 693 donations over a 23-month period, 193 00:14:09,661 --> 00:14:12,661 in exchange for which you received $24,255 in compensation. 194 00:14:14,032 --> 00:14:16,100 You have high-quality sperm. 195 00:14:16,101 --> 00:14:19,101 I'm sure yours isn't so bad either. 196 00:14:20,472 --> 00:14:23,207 Due to certain complications during a given period, 197 00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:26,208 Mr. Lafrance ended up giving your sperm to all his clients. 198 00:14:26,445 --> 00:14:29,347 As a result, you have fathered 533 children, 199 00:14:29,348 --> 00:14:32,348 142 of whom wish to know your identity. 200 00:14:34,052 --> 00:14:37,052 You have fathered 533 children. 201 00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:41,325 At each of your donation sessions, 202 00:14:41,326 --> 00:14:43,728 you signed a confidentiality clause. 203 00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:46,729 The clinic is thus legally bound to protect your identity. 204 00:14:46,999 --> 00:14:49,999 Some of the children plan to contest the legality of these documents. 205 00:14:51,136 --> 00:14:54,136 They want to know who Starbuck is. 206 00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:15,090 So, you say each of the 693 times you donated sperm, 207 00:15:15,861 --> 00:15:18,329 you signed a confidentiality clause. 208 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,731 I signed one every single time. 209 00:15:20,732 --> 00:15:23,732 Did you sign before or after you choked the chicken? 210 00:15:23,869 --> 00:15:26,204 - Before. - You always beat your meat alone? 211 00:15:26,205 --> 00:15:27,271 Yeah. 212 00:15:27,272 --> 00:15:30,272 And you deposited your man juice in little plastic cups. 213 00:15:31,243 --> 00:15:34,243 Did the little plastic cups consent every time? 214 00:15:35,547 --> 00:15:37,081 Should I get another lawyer? 215 00:15:37,082 --> 00:15:40,082 Honestly, I'm a bit hurt you never mentioned it at the time. 216 00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:43,719 You call your friend after sleeping with a hot girl, 217 00:15:44,056 --> 00:15:45,523 not after jerking off. 218 00:15:45,524 --> 00:15:48,292 But from now on, every time I masturbate, 219 00:15:48,293 --> 00:15:51,293 I'll call you up and fill you in on all the details. 220 00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:53,965 No need. Listen up. 221 00:15:53,966 --> 00:15:56,966 They claim your right to privacy should take a back seat 222 00:15:57,069 --> 00:16:00,069 to the basic human rights they say have been violated. 223 00:16:00,239 --> 00:16:02,373 It's complex. 224 00:16:02,374 --> 00:16:04,308 Very complex. 225 00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:05,943 Extremely complex. 226 00:16:05,944 --> 00:16:08,944 Every lawyer dreams of defending a case this significant! 227 00:16:10,482 --> 00:16:13,482 It'll go down in the history books. It'll set a legal precedent. 228 00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:17,319 My mother always told me I'd never amount to anything. 229 00:16:18,323 --> 00:16:21,323 I'm gonna show the old bitch. 230 00:16:21,627 --> 00:16:23,127 I don't feel very good. 231 00:16:23,128 --> 00:16:25,630 Postpartum depression. 232 00:16:25,631 --> 00:16:28,499 533 times over. 233 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,302 You might feel a little down. 234 00:16:31,303 --> 00:16:32,336 What do I do? 235 00:16:32,337 --> 00:16:35,337 For now, I advise you to stop whacking off in fertility clinics. 236 00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:38,342 Should I get a real lawyer? 237 00:16:38,343 --> 00:16:40,311 You can't afford a real lawyer. 238 00:16:40,312 --> 00:16:43,312 I'll call the Bar this afternoon and get my licence back. 239 00:16:44,082 --> 00:16:46,183 - You're not licensed? - A formality. 240 00:16:46,184 --> 00:16:49,184 It's just a matter of a few dates and some paperwork. 241 00:16:49,321 --> 00:16:50,688 And a bribe or two. 242 00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:52,490 Here. 243 00:16:52,491 --> 00:16:53,658 What's that? 244 00:16:53,659 --> 00:16:56,659 The 142 children in the class action want you to know who they are. 245 00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:01,430 Those are their profiles. 246 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,700 They're not my children. 247 00:18:01,859 --> 00:18:04,859 These are the months of the year... 248 00:18:11,535 --> 00:18:13,603 Do you have a babysitter? 249 00:18:13,604 --> 00:18:16,604 Like right here, right now? 250 00:18:16,874 --> 00:18:18,508 To baby-sit your envelope? 251 00:18:18,509 --> 00:18:21,509 - I opened the envelope. - Crap. 252 00:18:21,512 --> 00:18:24,114 I shouldn't have. I know. 253 00:18:24,115 --> 00:18:26,282 I looked at one profile. Just one. 254 00:18:26,283 --> 00:18:28,618 I picked it out at random. 255 00:18:28,619 --> 00:18:31,619 One. Wanna know who it is? 256 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,960 Ricardo Donatelli. 257 00:18:49,907 --> 00:18:51,641 There he is. There! 258 00:18:51,642 --> 00:18:54,642 That's him, number 14. You see him? 259 00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:11,294 Sit down! 260 00:19:11,295 --> 00:19:14,295 Let go of me! 261 00:19:43,327 --> 00:19:46,327 Move it! Move it! 262 00:20:35,713 --> 00:20:38,713 My genes were on a professional-soccer pitch! 263 00:20:39,517 --> 00:20:40,683 It's crazy. 264 00:20:40,684 --> 00:20:43,684 It's like an extension of me scored the game-winner. 265 00:20:47,091 --> 00:20:50,091 So, do your kids play on a professional soccer team? 266 00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:52,328 Not that I know of. 267 00:20:52,329 --> 00:20:55,329 But I'll ask. They don't tell me everything. 268 00:20:58,736 --> 00:21:01,736 I was thinking we should consider an insanity plea. 269 00:21:03,841 --> 00:21:05,775 What? 270 00:21:05,776 --> 00:21:08,776 You can't be held responsible for your actions if you were... 271 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,415 mentally unstable. 272 00:21:12,416 --> 00:21:15,416 We'll play up your mental problems. 273 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,920 But I don't have mental problems. 274 00:21:22,426 --> 00:21:24,761 I don't have mental problems! 275 00:21:24,762 --> 00:21:27,730 That's exactly how I want you to say it in court. 276 00:21:27,731 --> 00:21:28,164 Let's go, Reds! 277 00:21:28,165 --> 00:21:31,165 Let's go, Reds! 278 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:36,370 We're starting! Come on, David! 279 00:21:37,741 --> 00:21:40,741 Give it to me! 280 00:21:43,647 --> 00:21:46,647 Go! Go! 281 00:21:50,554 --> 00:21:53,554 What position is he playing, for Christ's sake? 282 00:22:15,479 --> 00:22:17,614 Hello. 283 00:22:17,615 --> 00:22:20,416 Yeah, it's me. What are you doing? 284 00:22:20,417 --> 00:22:23,417 You should've been here 15 minutes ago. 285 00:22:24,321 --> 00:22:26,856 Are you messing with me? 286 00:22:26,857 --> 00:22:29,857 Yes, it's this afternoon! 287 00:22:30,427 --> 00:22:33,129 I wrote it down on the schedule three days ago! 288 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:36,130 Yeah, it's there. 289 00:22:38,168 --> 00:22:40,637 So, what am I supposed to do? 290 00:22:40,638 --> 00:22:42,338 Finish up what you're doing. 291 00:22:42,339 --> 00:22:45,339 I'll call and tell them I'll be an hour late. 292 00:22:45,442 --> 00:22:48,442 OK, hold on a sec. 293 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,280 A large coffee to go, please. 294 00:22:54,051 --> 00:22:57,051 Come on, man, give me a break! 295 00:22:57,187 --> 00:22:59,822 Forget it, I'll work it out. 296 00:22:59,823 --> 00:23:02,823 Thanks, you're a pal! 297 00:23:13,837 --> 00:23:16,837 It was to go. 298 00:23:22,646 --> 00:23:23,880 Thanks. 299 00:23:23,881 --> 00:23:26,881 That's $2.25. 300 00:23:39,697 --> 00:23:42,697 You could be more polite. 301 00:23:43,434 --> 00:23:44,534 I'm sorry? 302 00:23:44,535 --> 00:23:46,769 I'm the customer. You're the waiter. 303 00:23:46,770 --> 00:23:48,438 A "please" and "thank you"... 304 00:23:48,439 --> 00:23:50,406 What is this? 305 00:23:50,407 --> 00:23:52,008 If you wanna be a waiter - 306 00:23:52,009 --> 00:23:53,876 That's the problem. 307 00:23:53,877 --> 00:23:56,877 I don't wanna be a waiter. I'm an actor. 308 00:23:57,848 --> 00:23:59,749 Who's missing a huge audition. 309 00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:02,750 And you want me to smile for $2.25? 310 00:24:04,588 --> 00:24:07,588 While the opportunity of a lifetime is passing me by? 311 00:24:09,393 --> 00:24:12,295 Doesn't have to be a big smile. 312 00:24:12,296 --> 00:24:15,296 OK. 313 00:24:15,933 --> 00:24:18,933 Have a nice day. 314 00:24:36,453 --> 00:24:39,255 Yes? 315 00:24:39,256 --> 00:24:42,256 You go. I'll fill in for you here. 316 00:24:43,727 --> 00:24:45,261 Who'd know the difference? 317 00:24:45,262 --> 00:24:47,897 We do get customers in here sometimes. 318 00:24:47,898 --> 00:24:49,465 Isn't this your big chance? 319 00:24:49,466 --> 00:24:52,466 How do I know you won't run away with the cash? 320 00:24:55,072 --> 00:24:58,072 Take my delivery truck. It's full of meat. 321 00:24:59,977 --> 00:25:01,144 What's in it for you? 322 00:25:01,145 --> 00:25:04,145 The satisfaction of making a difference in someone's life. 323 00:25:06,984 --> 00:25:09,984 Bring it back without a scratch. 324 00:25:13,423 --> 00:25:14,690 People might come in. 325 00:25:14,691 --> 00:25:17,360 I can figure out how to make a cup of coffee. 326 00:25:17,361 --> 00:25:20,361 Fly! 327 00:25:20,664 --> 00:25:23,664 Go, go, go! 328 00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:26,667 You know you have the easiest job in the whole shop? 329 00:25:27,471 --> 00:25:30,006 And just so I'm being clear, 330 00:25:30,007 --> 00:25:32,141 by that, I mean you're a moron. 331 00:25:32,142 --> 00:25:35,142 And yet despite how mind-blowingly simple yourjob is, 332 00:25:35,345 --> 00:25:37,880 you always manage to mess it up somehow. 333 00:25:37,881 --> 00:25:40,316 It's like every day, 334 00:25:40,317 --> 00:25:43,317 you find a new way to push the limits of stupidity. 335 00:25:43,954 --> 00:25:46,954 Essentially, you've only got two things to do. 336 00:25:47,524 --> 00:25:48,825 Two! 337 00:25:48,826 --> 00:25:51,826 Get meat. Deliver meat. 338 00:25:52,462 --> 00:25:54,463 The phone's ringing off the hook. 339 00:25:54,464 --> 00:25:55,865 Apparently, today, 340 00:25:55,866 --> 00:25:58,866 you forgot to do one of those two things. 341 00:25:59,336 --> 00:26:01,237 You forgot the delivery part! 342 00:26:01,238 --> 00:26:03,372 No, I'm doing the deliveries now. 343 00:26:03,373 --> 00:26:05,541 I'm delivering my ass off as we speak. 344 00:26:05,542 --> 00:26:08,044 You're more of a meat watchman. 345 00:26:08,045 --> 00:26:11,045 Today, all you're doing is watching the meat. 346 00:26:11,181 --> 00:26:14,180 I'll have a "tell-me-who-you-are- before-I-call-the police". 347 00:26:17,553 --> 00:26:19,054 The waiter. 348 00:26:19,055 --> 00:26:21,423 I'm the owner. I do all the hiring. 349 00:26:21,424 --> 00:26:24,424 I'm filling in for Etienne. He had an important audition. 350 00:26:24,527 --> 00:26:27,527 He can find himself anotherjob. 351 00:26:28,397 --> 00:26:30,565 Sir... 352 00:26:30,566 --> 00:26:33,566 It's the role of a lifetime. Cut him some slack. 353 00:26:33,903 --> 00:26:36,504 Slack really isn't the problem here. 354 00:26:36,505 --> 00:26:38,573 - What is it then? - He's no good. 355 00:26:38,574 --> 00:26:41,574 He can't act. He never gets a role. Ever. 356 00:26:41,577 --> 00:26:43,044 He sucks. 357 00:26:43,045 --> 00:26:46,045 I'll let you tell him he's not a waiter anymore. 358 00:26:46,215 --> 00:26:49,215 Let him know it's your fault if he can't make his rent. 359 00:27:14,543 --> 00:27:17,543 I lost my job? 360 00:27:17,747 --> 00:27:20,448 Yeah. 361 00:27:20,449 --> 00:27:22,951 I got the part. 362 00:27:22,952 --> 00:27:24,819 You did? 363 00:27:24,820 --> 00:27:27,820 Yeah. 364 00:27:28,391 --> 00:27:30,392 Thanks. 365 00:27:30,393 --> 00:27:33,393 Thanks. 366 00:27:39,468 --> 00:27:42,468 Where were you yesterday? 367 00:27:42,672 --> 00:27:45,672 You were supposed to be here at noon. 368 00:27:46,309 --> 00:27:49,309 I started, but I can't do it all by myself! 369 00:27:49,779 --> 00:27:52,779 No. 370 00:27:54,250 --> 00:27:57,250 I'll be two seconds! 371 00:27:59,588 --> 00:28:02,588 Hold on. Don't go anywhere. 372 00:28:06,495 --> 00:28:09,130 - Hello. That'll be $1 1 .50. - I'm $4 short. 373 00:28:09,131 --> 00:28:12,131 I knew you were gonna fucking bail on me! 374 00:28:14,136 --> 00:28:17,136 How the hell am I supposed to pay the rent? 375 00:28:18,007 --> 00:28:21,007 And you owe me money, too! Am I gonna see any ofthat? 376 00:28:22,278 --> 00:28:25,113 Fuck off and die! 377 00:28:25,114 --> 00:28:27,515 You said May! 378 00:28:27,516 --> 00:28:30,516 Shut up! Shut up! You're a goddamn liar. 379 00:28:30,953 --> 00:28:32,988 You're a goddamn liar! 380 00:28:32,989 --> 00:28:35,989 How am I gonna pay for this? I don't have a fucking cent! 381 00:28:36,125 --> 00:28:39,125 You owe me money! I want it back! Stop it! 382 00:28:39,362 --> 00:28:42,362 Stop it! 383 00:28:47,169 --> 00:28:49,404 Miss? 384 00:28:49,405 --> 00:28:52,405 Don't worry about the $4. 385 00:28:53,876 --> 00:28:55,176 Miss? 386 00:28:55,177 --> 00:28:58,177 I don't know who you are, but this isn't a good time, OK? 387 00:28:58,247 --> 00:29:00,181 Get out of my apartment. 388 00:29:00,182 --> 00:29:02,417 Sure, sure. Absolutely. 389 00:29:02,418 --> 00:29:03,885 But I... 390 00:29:03,886 --> 00:29:05,553 I'm gonna call the cops! 391 00:29:05,554 --> 00:29:08,554 No, no need for that! 392 00:29:10,693 --> 00:29:12,894 But you sound really upset. 393 00:29:12,895 --> 00:29:15,730 And we have a very strict policy 394 00:29:15,731 --> 00:29:18,731 about the state of mind in which we leave our customers. 395 00:29:19,402 --> 00:29:21,236 My boss is a real stickler. 396 00:29:21,237 --> 00:29:24,237 He always says: "At... 397 00:29:24,340 --> 00:29:27,340 "At Rigoletto Pizzeria, we care about our customers. 398 00:29:29,178 --> 00:29:32,178 "We believe in a more human approach to pizza." 399 00:29:35,885 --> 00:29:38,885 Are you all right? 400 00:29:43,893 --> 00:29:46,893 Are you all right? 401 00:29:54,070 --> 00:29:57,070 No. Fuck, no! 402 00:30:09,485 --> 00:30:12,220 Let go! 403 00:30:12,221 --> 00:30:14,789 Julie. 404 00:30:14,790 --> 00:30:17,092 - Let go! I want out of here! - Julie! 405 00:30:17,093 --> 00:30:20,093 I wanna get out of here! Let go of me! 406 00:30:21,330 --> 00:30:24,330 Who are you, exactly? 407 00:30:34,944 --> 00:30:37,944 Are you ashamed to admit you're my father? 408 00:30:42,017 --> 00:30:43,151 No. 409 00:30:43,152 --> 00:30:46,152 You have to sign my release. 410 00:30:47,490 --> 00:30:50,490 Can I have a word with you? 411 00:30:55,498 --> 00:30:56,598 The good news is, 412 00:30:56,599 --> 00:30:59,599 a spotjust opened up in our methadone program. 413 00:31:00,469 --> 00:31:01,503 The bad news is, 414 00:31:01,504 --> 00:31:04,504 your daughter has no interest in the program. 415 00:31:04,874 --> 00:31:07,809 She's still a minor, so it's up to you. 416 00:31:07,810 --> 00:31:09,144 I... 417 00:31:09,145 --> 00:31:12,145 We get excellent results. 418 00:31:13,382 --> 00:31:16,382 I'll talk to her. 419 00:31:22,525 --> 00:31:25,525 Can we... 420 00:31:28,164 --> 00:31:29,531 Hi... 421 00:31:29,532 --> 00:31:32,532 Dad. 422 00:31:34,637 --> 00:31:37,372 Sign the release. 423 00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:40,373 I don't know who you are, but I'm begging you. 424 00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:43,211 - They have a good program. - I can quit on my own. 425 00:31:43,212 --> 00:31:45,046 I just had the scare of my life. 426 00:31:45,047 --> 00:31:46,548 I think the program - 427 00:31:46,549 --> 00:31:49,549 I'd be surrounded by junkies 24 hours a day here. 428 00:31:49,985 --> 00:31:51,586 I'll have a relapse for sure. 429 00:31:51,587 --> 00:31:53,221 They'll help you. 430 00:31:53,222 --> 00:31:55,890 They'll lock me up, and I'll lose my job. 431 00:31:55,891 --> 00:31:58,891 I just started. It's my dream job. It's all I've got. 432 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:06,399 Thank you. 433 00:32:17,012 --> 00:32:18,580 I'm signing the release. 434 00:32:18,581 --> 00:32:20,582 You're making a huge mistake. 435 00:32:20,583 --> 00:32:21,883 She'd be unhappy here. 436 00:32:21,884 --> 00:32:24,252 Right now, she doesn't need to be happy. 437 00:32:24,253 --> 00:32:25,920 She needs to get clean. 438 00:32:25,921 --> 00:32:28,921 She's gonna quit. 439 00:32:29,592 --> 00:32:32,592 Do you love your daughter? 440 00:32:33,295 --> 00:32:36,130 - Yes. - Tell her that. 441 00:32:36,131 --> 00:32:39,131 Then tell her you won't sign her release. 442 00:32:56,218 --> 00:32:57,952 Where do you work? 443 00:32:57,953 --> 00:32:59,988 At Ogilvy, on Sainte-Catherine. 444 00:32:59,989 --> 00:33:02,989 I never finished school. A friend got me the job. 445 00:33:06,262 --> 00:33:09,262 - You have my phone number? - Yeah. 446 00:33:09,832 --> 00:33:12,233 - Tomorrow, you start work at... - 8:00. 447 00:33:12,234 --> 00:33:15,234 - And you'll be there at... - 8:00. 448 00:33:16,238 --> 00:33:19,238 I tend to make some very, very bad decisions. 449 00:33:21,310 --> 00:33:24,310 I'd like you to prove to me that this isn't one of them. 450 00:33:25,314 --> 00:33:28,314 You made the right choice. 451 00:33:31,186 --> 00:33:34,186 Thanks, Dad. 452 00:35:43,251 --> 00:35:46,251 ...but it's the first time I really injured myself. 453 00:35:46,754 --> 00:35:49,456 It's rare to welcome outsiders to our colony, 454 00:35:49,457 --> 00:35:51,725 especially since the Iroquois resumed 455 00:35:51,726 --> 00:35:54,726 their attacks on our settlers. 456 00:36:35,703 --> 00:36:38,703 That's very nice of you. Thanks. 457 00:36:47,682 --> 00:36:50,550 It's rare to welcome outsiders to our colony, 458 00:36:50,551 --> 00:36:52,819 especially since the Iroquois resumed 459 00:36:52,820 --> 00:36:55,820 their attacks on our settlers. 460 00:37:03,297 --> 00:37:06,297 Push! 461 00:37:18,713 --> 00:37:21,713 Cheapskate! 462 00:37:40,401 --> 00:37:43,203 It's rare to welcome outsiders to our colony, 463 00:37:43,204 --> 00:37:44,905 especially since the Iroquois 464 00:37:44,906 --> 00:37:47,906 resumed their attacks on our settlers. 465 00:38:07,395 --> 00:38:09,796 Watch where you're going. 466 00:38:09,797 --> 00:38:12,797 I think he's an inspector. 467 00:38:21,876 --> 00:38:24,876 We need a hand! 468 00:38:30,051 --> 00:38:32,319 Did you say "yum-yum"? 469 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,955 I'm not sure I heard you right. 470 00:38:34,956 --> 00:38:36,756 - Did you say "yum-yum"? - Yeah. 471 00:38:36,757 --> 00:38:39,757 Don't say "yum-yum"! 472 00:38:42,763 --> 00:38:44,564 I had a revelation. 473 00:38:44,565 --> 00:38:47,565 I realized it's impossible to be a father to 533 children. 474 00:38:49,270 --> 00:38:51,404 It's impossible. It can't be done. 475 00:38:51,405 --> 00:38:52,906 It can't be done with four. 476 00:38:52,907 --> 00:38:55,642 Exactly, it's impossible. 477 00:38:55,643 --> 00:38:57,611 But I can be their guardian angel. 478 00:38:57,612 --> 00:38:59,813 - Their guardian angel? - Yeah. 479 00:38:59,814 --> 00:39:02,814 I realized these kids need someone in their lives... 480 00:39:04,085 --> 00:39:06,286 someone to watch over them. 481 00:39:06,287 --> 00:39:08,922 I'm the donor. 482 00:39:08,923 --> 00:39:11,157 They're my responsibility. 483 00:39:11,158 --> 00:39:13,126 And I accept that responsibility. 484 00:39:13,127 --> 00:39:14,494 So, you're telling me, 485 00:39:14,495 --> 00:39:16,129 your mission here on Earth 486 00:39:16,130 --> 00:39:19,130 is to watch over 533 children like some sort of superhero. 487 00:39:21,168 --> 00:39:22,969 I didn't say superhero. 488 00:39:22,970 --> 00:39:25,970 When you're watching over them, are you wearing Lycra? 489 00:39:26,941 --> 00:39:29,941 I didn't say superhero. I said guardian angel. 490 00:39:30,111 --> 00:39:31,344 So, no Lycra, 491 00:39:31,345 --> 00:39:34,345 but you have wings and you play the harp. 492 00:39:35,449 --> 00:39:37,484 You know what? 493 00:39:37,485 --> 00:39:40,485 I'm feeling more and more comfortable with an insanity plea. 494 00:39:41,455 --> 00:39:44,190 I don't have mental problems. 495 00:39:44,191 --> 00:39:45,625 Perfect. 496 00:39:45,626 --> 00:39:48,626 Say it just like that to the judge. 497 00:39:48,696 --> 00:39:51,164 I haven't slept in four days. 498 00:39:51,165 --> 00:39:54,165 I've never been happier in all my life. 499 00:39:55,870 --> 00:39:58,870 I never thought I could love anyone this much. 500 00:40:01,042 --> 00:40:03,209 He poops eight times a day, 501 00:40:03,210 --> 00:40:05,311 and I think I've lost my mind, 502 00:40:05,312 --> 00:40:06,980 because I swear, 503 00:40:06,981 --> 00:40:09,883 I worship every single one of his diapers. 504 00:40:09,884 --> 00:40:12,218 Your brother wants to go on parental leave 505 00:40:12,219 --> 00:40:15,219 so he can have more time to worship his son's dirty diapers. 506 00:40:15,723 --> 00:40:17,857 I'm entitled by law to parental leave. 507 00:40:17,858 --> 00:40:19,259 I have three kids. 508 00:40:19,260 --> 00:40:22,028 Two hours after each was born, I was here. 509 00:40:22,029 --> 00:40:25,029 Which is why your 1 1-year-old son hardly recognizes you. 510 00:40:25,032 --> 00:40:28,032 When he comes by, he asks me: "Which one is my dad?" 511 00:40:30,337 --> 00:40:33,337 You gotta have kids, too, David. 512 00:40:38,212 --> 00:40:41,212 Thanks. 513 00:40:48,289 --> 00:40:51,289 Hey there. 514 00:40:53,194 --> 00:40:55,261 Today's my first ultrasound. 515 00:40:55,262 --> 00:40:57,597 Is it? 516 00:40:57,598 --> 00:41:00,433 - I need a friend, not a father. - I'm your friend. 517 00:41:00,434 --> 00:41:03,434 - I want to be clear. - It's clear. 518 00:41:04,305 --> 00:41:07,305 Hurry up. I drank a litre of water and I'm not allowed to pee. 519 00:41:08,776 --> 00:41:10,643 Are you going to ask the sex? 520 00:41:10,644 --> 00:41:11,911 I want a girl. 521 00:41:11,912 --> 00:41:14,912 - That's not how it works. - I want a girl. 522 00:41:15,049 --> 00:41:18,049 It'll be a girl. 523 00:41:19,253 --> 00:41:22,253 Here you can see your baby's profile. 524 00:41:25,726 --> 00:41:28,428 There's a little hand coming into the frame. 525 00:41:28,429 --> 00:41:30,230 There's the profile, 526 00:41:30,231 --> 00:41:32,799 with a little hand just above it. 527 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,001 And the little face. 528 00:41:35,002 --> 00:41:38,002 There's the heart beating, which you can see clearly. 529 00:41:38,639 --> 00:41:41,639 See? 530 00:41:41,942 --> 00:41:44,942 Let's look at the circumference of the head. 531 00:41:46,247 --> 00:41:48,748 I'm not so sure about this. 532 00:41:48,749 --> 00:41:49,816 About what? 533 00:41:49,817 --> 00:41:52,817 Whether this baby will be a source of happiness. 534 00:41:54,588 --> 00:41:57,524 Look at them. Look! 535 00:41:57,525 --> 00:41:58,958 Look at that one! 536 00:41:58,959 --> 00:42:01,959 I've watched him for 10 seconds, and already I wanna smack him. 537 00:42:02,496 --> 00:42:05,496 I swear, it's all I can do to keep from kicking him in the ass. 538 00:42:08,836 --> 00:42:10,370 It'll be fine, Val�rie. 539 00:42:10,371 --> 00:42:12,639 Sure, you can be a bit anal-retentive... 540 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,508 Remember that woman who drowned her two kids? 541 00:42:15,509 --> 00:42:18,111 I think I'm the only person on the planet 542 00:42:18,112 --> 00:42:20,847 who thought she made a convincing argument. 543 00:42:20,848 --> 00:42:23,183 I'm not saying the kids deserved to die, 544 00:42:23,184 --> 00:42:26,184 but they could've listened, for Christ's sake! 545 00:42:28,489 --> 00:42:31,489 I think it's the best thing that could've happened to us. 546 00:42:31,559 --> 00:42:34,027 Who made you the Dalai Lama? 547 00:42:34,028 --> 00:42:36,696 What the hell does that mean? 548 00:42:36,697 --> 00:42:39,032 Look at that one! He's eating his boogers! 549 00:42:39,033 --> 00:42:40,533 They're full of protein. 550 00:42:40,534 --> 00:42:43,534 Val�rie, did you know we all have... 551 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,308 tremendous untapped resources inside of us? 552 00:42:48,309 --> 00:42:51,211 Resources? What do you mean, "untapped resources"? 553 00:42:51,212 --> 00:42:54,047 Here's what I know about my resources: 554 00:42:54,048 --> 00:42:57,048 My kid looks at me like that, he gets a smack upside the head. 555 00:42:58,586 --> 00:43:01,586 You're gonna be a good mother. 556 00:43:05,392 --> 00:43:08,392 OK. 557 00:43:09,997 --> 00:43:12,997 Because I don't trust you at all, what I'm gonna do is... 558 00:43:14,001 --> 00:43:15,935 I'll name you... No. 559 00:43:15,936 --> 00:43:18,104 I'll declare you as the father... 560 00:43:18,105 --> 00:43:19,906 Yes! 561 00:43:19,907 --> 00:43:22,408 - Yes! - No, wait. 562 00:43:22,409 --> 00:43:25,244 I'll declare you father-on-a-trial-basis. 563 00:43:25,245 --> 00:43:28,245 - Father-on-a-trial-basis! - Zero screw-ups allowed. 564 00:43:28,248 --> 00:43:31,248 - For how long? - Forever. 565 00:43:32,118 --> 00:43:34,953 OK. 566 00:43:34,954 --> 00:43:37,954 Will the kid have to call me Trial Basis Dad? 567 00:43:38,291 --> 00:43:39,391 No. 568 00:43:39,392 --> 00:43:42,392 Will I have any kind of costume or sign to wear... 569 00:43:44,697 --> 00:43:47,633 that'll set me apart from the regular dads? 570 00:43:47,634 --> 00:43:50,469 No. 571 00:43:50,470 --> 00:43:53,470 Then I accept. 572 00:44:15,561 --> 00:44:16,962 Your name? 573 00:44:16,963 --> 00:44:19,963 L�opold Duval. 574 00:44:21,234 --> 00:44:24,136 And you are... 575 00:44:24,137 --> 00:44:27,137 A friend. 576 00:44:50,163 --> 00:44:53,163 He's over there. 577 00:44:59,205 --> 00:45:00,339 OK, I'll be back. 578 00:45:00,340 --> 00:45:02,307 You're not staying for a visit? 579 00:45:02,308 --> 00:45:04,977 I wanted to see him. I saw him. 580 00:45:04,978 --> 00:45:06,478 I'll come back later. 581 00:45:06,479 --> 00:45:09,479 It would make him really happy. 582 00:45:09,649 --> 00:45:12,217 Yeah. 583 00:45:12,218 --> 00:45:13,318 But I... 584 00:45:13,319 --> 00:45:16,319 Just talk to him. 585 00:45:24,964 --> 00:45:27,964 Hey, Rapha�l. 586 00:45:30,003 --> 00:45:33,003 Hi. 587 00:45:37,510 --> 00:45:40,510 I was in the neighbourhood. 588 00:45:42,715 --> 00:45:45,550 So I stopped by to see you. 589 00:45:45,551 --> 00:45:48,551 I wanted to talk to you. 590 00:46:53,953 --> 00:46:56,953 You did a good job. 591 00:47:04,330 --> 00:47:05,597 I didn't say anything. 592 00:47:05,598 --> 00:47:08,567 You did a great job. 593 00:47:08,568 --> 00:47:10,235 Yeah? 594 00:47:10,236 --> 00:47:13,236 Yeah. 595 00:47:13,473 --> 00:47:16,473 Thanks. 596 00:47:28,921 --> 00:47:31,921 Bye, man. See you later. 597 00:48:28,748 --> 00:48:30,882 I know, I'm late. 598 00:48:30,883 --> 00:48:32,651 I'm really sorry. 599 00:48:32,652 --> 00:48:35,652 Come on. We'll be late. 600 00:49:57,336 --> 00:50:00,336 We approached Starbuck before filing the suit 601 00:50:00,973 --> 00:50:03,973 to see if he was willing to change his mind, 602 00:50:05,244 --> 00:50:08,244 but he categorically refused. 603 00:50:45,017 --> 00:50:48,017 Yes? 604 00:50:54,126 --> 00:50:56,294 Yes? 605 00:50:56,295 --> 00:50:59,295 Thank you. 606 00:51:03,035 --> 00:51:05,837 I just wanted to tell you... 607 00:51:05,838 --> 00:51:08,838 well, I don't know all of you, but... 608 00:51:09,842 --> 00:51:12,842 I love you. 609 00:51:13,012 --> 00:51:15,180 I love you all very much. 610 00:51:15,181 --> 00:51:18,181 You're all focusing a lot on Starbuck. 611 00:51:18,584 --> 00:51:21,584 But you can't forget that whatever happens, 612 00:51:22,321 --> 00:51:25,321 you're all brothers and sisters. 613 00:51:26,225 --> 00:51:29,225 You've found one another. 614 00:51:51,283 --> 00:51:53,718 Hey, man! Thanks! 615 00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:55,520 You're right. 616 00:51:55,521 --> 00:51:57,689 Yeah, well, thanks. 617 00:51:57,690 --> 00:52:00,689 I always see him in the subway. 618 00:52:03,027 --> 00:52:05,696 What are you doing here? 619 00:52:05,697 --> 00:52:08,697 I'm Rapha�l's adoptive father. 620 00:52:10,568 --> 00:52:12,269 Rapha�l? 621 00:52:12,270 --> 00:52:15,270 Rapha�l's disabled. He's in an institution. 622 00:52:15,874 --> 00:52:18,874 That's why he can't be here tonight. 623 00:52:22,147 --> 00:52:25,147 Julie, this is Marco. 624 00:52:25,250 --> 00:52:26,917 It is Marco, right? 625 00:52:26,918 --> 00:52:29,918 Marco saved my life at the public pool. 626 00:52:30,155 --> 00:52:32,089 He's a lifeguard. 627 00:52:32,090 --> 00:52:34,224 I'm Rapha�l's adoptive father. 628 00:52:34,225 --> 00:52:37,225 He's disabled and can't be here tonight. 629 00:52:37,762 --> 00:52:40,762 - One of these kids is yours? - By adoption. 630 00:52:43,101 --> 00:52:46,101 Hey! 631 00:52:48,072 --> 00:52:49,306 What are you... 632 00:52:49,307 --> 00:52:51,308 It's Etienne! 633 00:52:51,309 --> 00:52:54,309 Etienne works at a caf� in my neighbourhood, 634 00:52:54,946 --> 00:52:56,346 but he's an actor, too. 635 00:52:56,347 --> 00:52:58,515 This is Marco, a lifeguard. 636 00:52:58,516 --> 00:53:00,350 Julie, an ex-addict. 637 00:53:00,351 --> 00:53:01,685 I adopted Rapha�l, 638 00:53:01,686 --> 00:53:04,686 a disabled young man who couldn't be here tonight... 639 00:53:04,789 --> 00:53:07,789 adopted. 640 00:53:19,304 --> 00:53:22,304 David. 641 00:53:24,275 --> 00:53:27,275 David! 642 00:53:29,481 --> 00:53:32,481 What are you doing here? 643 00:53:33,818 --> 00:53:35,986 I spoke to the psychologist. 644 00:53:35,987 --> 00:53:38,889 He said he met you and you're perfectly normal. 645 00:53:38,890 --> 00:53:41,558 - I told you so. - You're not normal! 646 00:53:41,559 --> 00:53:42,693 As of tonight, 647 00:53:42,694 --> 00:53:45,694 you're party to a class-action suit against yourself! 648 00:53:46,998 --> 00:53:49,998 - What are you doing here? - Spying. 649 00:53:50,401 --> 00:53:53,401 The only chance we have is to show that you're not normal. 650 00:53:54,472 --> 00:53:56,406 It's our only chance. 651 00:53:56,407 --> 00:53:57,975 But I am normal. 652 00:53:57,976 --> 00:54:00,577 I've known you 20 years. You're not normal. 653 00:54:00,578 --> 00:54:03,578 It's time to tell the psychologist about Mariouka. 654 00:54:04,749 --> 00:54:05,916 Mariouka? 655 00:54:05,917 --> 00:54:08,685 You married a Russian woman you didn't even know! 656 00:54:08,686 --> 00:54:10,754 She said she'd be my maid for a year. 657 00:54:10,755 --> 00:54:13,357 And she took off after three days. 658 00:54:13,358 --> 00:54:16,358 How much did you lose in that scheme to import Cuban cigars? 659 00:54:17,095 --> 00:54:19,429 The guy seemed like a legit businessman! 660 00:54:19,430 --> 00:54:21,732 He walked around in a swimsuit! 661 00:54:21,733 --> 00:54:24,733 Who does business with a guy in a swimsuit? 662 00:54:25,537 --> 00:54:27,104 Make sure you mention 663 00:54:27,105 --> 00:54:30,105 you once paid $500 for one of Hall and Oates's guitar picks. 664 00:54:30,275 --> 00:54:33,275 When they die, it'll be worth a fortune! 665 00:54:33,778 --> 00:54:36,778 That won't be for another 30 years! Besides, it's Hall and Oates! 666 00:54:37,415 --> 00:54:40,415 They'd do a gig at a kids' party for $500! 667 00:54:49,594 --> 00:54:51,895 For once, I'm doing the right thing. 668 00:54:51,896 --> 00:54:53,964 You're not doing the right thing. 669 00:54:53,965 --> 00:54:56,965 Stop going to see your children! 670 00:55:55,994 --> 00:55:58,994 Hello, David Wozniak. 671 00:55:59,130 --> 00:56:02,130 My name is Antoine. I'm your biological son. 672 00:56:04,769 --> 00:56:07,037 I don't like being lied to. 673 00:56:07,038 --> 00:56:09,506 Are you going to out me? 674 00:56:09,507 --> 00:56:11,208 Yeah. 675 00:56:11,209 --> 00:56:14,209 Can't this be our little secret? 676 00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,880 - What do you do? - I work in a butcher shop. 677 00:56:20,351 --> 00:56:23,120 I'm a vegetarian. 678 00:56:23,121 --> 00:56:25,122 So, you murder animals. 679 00:56:25,123 --> 00:56:28,123 No, no! I'm just a delivery guy. 680 00:56:28,626 --> 00:56:31,161 I don't kill them. I just cart them around. 681 00:56:31,162 --> 00:56:34,162 You cart around the carcasses of murdered animals. 682 00:56:34,666 --> 00:56:36,466 Yeah. 683 00:56:36,467 --> 00:56:39,467 I imagined you as a musician. 684 00:56:39,837 --> 00:56:41,071 Are you into music? 685 00:56:41,072 --> 00:56:43,707 I'm more of a jock. 686 00:56:43,708 --> 00:56:46,708 Like the guys who beat me up in high school. 687 00:56:46,978 --> 00:56:48,912 You got beat up? 688 00:56:48,913 --> 00:56:51,913 As you can see, I'm a little different. 689 00:56:52,850 --> 00:56:53,984 Different how? 690 00:56:53,985 --> 00:56:56,985 Most people come into this world out of an act of love. 691 00:56:58,823 --> 00:57:01,158 Most people are conceived in love. 692 00:57:01,159 --> 00:57:03,160 But me... 693 00:57:03,161 --> 00:57:06,161 I came into this world out of an act of self-abuse. 694 00:57:07,699 --> 00:57:10,699 I was conceived in a little cup. 695 00:57:18,409 --> 00:57:21,409 Can I stay here for a while? 696 00:57:21,713 --> 00:57:24,414 Yeah. 697 00:57:24,415 --> 00:57:26,083 Cool. 698 00:57:26,084 --> 00:57:28,251 He's excruciating. 699 00:57:28,252 --> 00:57:31,221 He's excruciating! 700 00:57:31,222 --> 00:57:33,790 He's already called me three times this morning! 701 00:57:33,791 --> 00:57:35,392 Three times in one morning! 702 00:57:35,393 --> 00:57:37,894 Do whatever he says. He can't turn you in. 703 00:57:37,895 --> 00:57:40,895 The conversations are endless, like a police interrogation. 704 00:57:42,767 --> 00:57:45,767 Don't upset him. Go along with anything he wants. 705 00:57:48,306 --> 00:57:49,406 No. 706 00:57:49,407 --> 00:57:50,440 - Answer. - No! 707 00:57:50,441 --> 00:57:51,908 - Answer it now. - No. 708 00:57:51,909 --> 00:57:54,909 No! 709 00:57:57,415 --> 00:57:58,582 Antoine! 710 00:57:58,583 --> 00:58:01,583 Go along with anything he wants. 711 00:58:01,652 --> 00:58:04,652 Yes. 712 00:58:11,462 --> 00:58:14,462 - You look way too relaxed. - This is a special moment for me. 713 00:58:14,999 --> 00:58:17,999 It's a big step in our relationship. 714 00:58:19,670 --> 00:58:22,670 Nothing they say about me is true, 715 00:58:22,673 --> 00:58:25,673 not a word of it! 716 00:58:27,311 --> 00:58:30,311 They enjoy humiliating me. They're monsters. 717 00:58:30,615 --> 00:58:32,983 Seriously. They're monsters! 718 00:58:32,984 --> 00:58:35,418 David! Val�rie. 719 00:58:35,419 --> 00:58:37,854 Hello. Thank you. 720 00:58:37,855 --> 00:58:40,090 Hello! Welcome! 721 00:58:40,091 --> 00:58:43,091 Thank you. Hi. Val�rie. 722 00:58:43,761 --> 00:58:46,761 - Our kids. - Hi! 723 00:58:46,931 --> 00:58:49,499 - Hello, Val�rie. - Hello. 724 00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:52,500 - He's beautiful. - David! 725 00:58:52,537 --> 00:58:55,305 Dad! Dad, Val�rie. 726 00:58:55,306 --> 00:58:56,373 Nice to meet you. 727 00:58:56,374 --> 00:58:59,374 OK, everyone, no stories tonight. 728 00:59:00,044 --> 00:59:02,279 The photo albums are in the living room. 729 00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:05,280 No, not the photo albums. No pictures! 730 00:59:05,616 --> 00:59:07,617 No pictures right off the bat! 731 00:59:07,618 --> 00:59:10,618 Come, let's look at the albums. 732 00:59:21,532 --> 00:59:23,366 Sorry to interrupt. 733 00:59:23,367 --> 00:59:25,836 I want to propose a toast to Val�rie, 734 00:59:25,837 --> 00:59:28,837 because it's important you know that this... 735 00:59:29,473 --> 00:59:30,674 Rite of passage. 736 00:59:30,675 --> 00:59:33,675 This rite of passage isn't just about humiliating David. 737 00:59:35,379 --> 00:59:37,414 Although that's a highlight. 738 00:59:37,415 --> 00:59:39,983 That's most definitely a highlight, 739 00:59:39,984 --> 00:59:42,219 but it's not the only one. 740 00:59:42,220 --> 00:59:44,988 We showed you everything about David's past 741 00:59:44,989 --> 00:59:47,989 because it's important you know what you're getting into. 742 00:59:49,894 --> 00:59:51,561 Now that you know all that... 743 00:59:51,562 --> 00:59:52,762 I have more pictures. 744 00:59:52,763 --> 00:59:54,364 We'll see them after dessert. 745 00:59:54,365 --> 00:59:56,233 What pictures? We've seen them all. 746 00:59:56,234 --> 00:59:57,901 There are no more. 747 00:59:57,902 --> 00:59:59,269 Sniper. 748 00:59:59,270 --> 01:00:01,271 Not Sniper! 749 01:00:01,272 --> 01:00:04,040 - What's Sniper? - David's band. 750 01:00:04,041 --> 01:00:06,710 - No way! - Yeah, with makeup and everything. 751 01:00:06,711 --> 01:00:08,945 It was the '80s. Everybody wore makeup! 752 01:00:08,946 --> 01:00:11,581 I didn't wear makeup in the '80s. 753 01:00:11,582 --> 01:00:13,850 I had to explain to Dad you weren't gay. 754 01:00:13,851 --> 01:00:15,018 What? 755 01:00:15,019 --> 01:00:17,621 You wore tights. 756 01:00:17,622 --> 01:00:19,055 Now that you know all that 757 01:00:19,056 --> 01:00:21,892 and realize the humiliation isn't over, 758 01:00:21,893 --> 01:00:23,793 you should also know that... 759 01:00:23,794 --> 01:00:26,363 the Wozniaks have had some wonderful times, 760 01:00:26,364 --> 01:00:29,364 as well as some difficult ones. 761 01:00:29,734 --> 01:00:32,569 - Don't go there. - Why not? 762 01:00:32,570 --> 01:00:35,569 You know it makes me uncomfortable. It's embarrassing. 763 01:00:36,273 --> 01:00:37,606 What? 764 01:00:37,607 --> 01:00:40,607 Come on. Dad... 765 01:00:43,046 --> 01:00:45,981 When my wife and I got married, we were very young. 766 01:00:45,982 --> 01:00:48,982 Our dream was to go to Italy for our honeymoon. 767 01:00:50,220 --> 01:00:52,554 But we didn't have much money. 768 01:00:52,555 --> 01:00:54,490 Then came the kids, the business. 769 01:00:54,491 --> 01:00:57,491 We thought: "One day, when we're old and grey." 770 01:00:59,396 --> 01:01:02,396 But time passed. 771 01:01:02,732 --> 01:01:05,732 You have to make the most of the present. 772 01:01:06,403 --> 01:01:08,904 Are you all making the most of the present? 773 01:01:08,905 --> 01:01:11,905 Yes, Dad, we are. 774 01:01:12,676 --> 01:01:15,577 Good. 775 01:01:15,578 --> 01:01:18,578 My wife got sick. 776 01:01:18,782 --> 01:01:21,782 David showed up with two tickets to Venice. 777 01:01:22,919 --> 01:01:24,453 He arranged everything: 778 01:01:24,454 --> 01:01:26,922 a hotel near the Doge's Palace, 779 01:01:26,923 --> 01:01:28,590 gondola rides... 780 01:01:28,591 --> 01:01:31,591 And then our three sons came to join us. 781 01:01:32,595 --> 01:01:35,595 We had supper together... 782 01:01:36,633 --> 01:01:39,633 near the Piazza San Marco. 783 01:01:43,773 --> 01:01:46,773 David paid for everything. 784 01:01:47,010 --> 01:01:50,010 He does things like that. 785 01:01:50,547 --> 01:01:53,547 If you can live with his countless shortcomings... 786 01:01:57,187 --> 01:02:00,187 you're in for plenty of beautiful surprises as well. 787 01:02:03,393 --> 01:02:06,393 Let's pray. 788 01:02:06,396 --> 01:02:08,397 Just a little prayer! 789 01:02:08,398 --> 01:02:11,398 Let's drink! 790 01:02:12,869 --> 01:02:15,869 How did you pay for your entire family to go to Venice? 791 01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,640 I had the money. 792 01:02:20,910 --> 01:02:22,978 When you were 20? 793 01:02:22,979 --> 01:02:24,847 Yes. 794 01:02:24,848 --> 01:02:27,848 OK, but where'd you get it? 795 01:02:29,352 --> 01:02:32,352 Can't I have a secret or two? 796 01:02:33,656 --> 01:02:34,990 Sure. 797 01:02:34,991 --> 01:02:37,991 As long as you're not growing pot or anything. 798 01:02:38,561 --> 01:02:40,362 Very cute. 799 01:02:40,363 --> 01:02:43,363 I wasn't trying to be cute. It was a threat. 800 01:02:55,111 --> 01:02:58,111 - Have a good game, David. - Thanks! 801 01:03:06,423 --> 01:03:09,423 You OK? 802 01:03:09,626 --> 01:03:12,626 Yeah. 803 01:03:16,733 --> 01:03:19,733 You wanna play soccer? 804 01:03:20,303 --> 01:03:23,303 Yeah! 805 01:03:29,779 --> 01:03:32,779 Let go. 806 01:03:33,383 --> 01:03:36,383 Now straighten up. 807 01:03:38,121 --> 01:03:41,121 Now that one has to... 808 01:03:41,157 --> 01:03:42,958 Both have to be straight. 809 01:03:42,959 --> 01:03:45,959 I can't do it. 810 01:03:46,930 --> 01:03:49,798 Not bad. 811 01:03:49,799 --> 01:03:50,899 Switch. 812 01:03:50,900 --> 01:03:53,900 Straight. Make an L. 813 01:03:55,071 --> 01:03:57,473 Switch. 814 01:03:57,474 --> 01:04:00,474 Yeah! All right! 815 01:04:04,247 --> 01:04:07,247 Switch. 816 01:04:22,632 --> 01:04:24,867 Oh, I'm sorry! 817 01:04:24,868 --> 01:04:26,301 I'm sorry, guys! 818 01:04:26,302 --> 01:04:29,171 You won't believe me, but you were good. 819 01:04:29,172 --> 01:04:32,172 Once you realized you can't touch the ball with your hand, 820 01:04:32,876 --> 01:04:35,177 you were... 821 01:04:35,178 --> 01:04:38,178 By then, the game was almost over, but... 822 01:04:38,281 --> 01:04:41,281 I thought for sure your brother wanted to break my neck. 823 01:04:42,318 --> 01:04:44,620 He wants to break everybody's neck. 824 01:04:44,621 --> 01:04:47,621 You have to come to the lake this weekend. 825 01:04:48,625 --> 01:04:50,492 I have plans with Val�rie. 826 01:04:50,493 --> 01:04:52,127 Everyone's gonna be there! 827 01:04:52,128 --> 01:04:55,128 You're the reason we thought about doing it. 828 01:04:55,131 --> 01:04:57,533 I understand, but I have plans with Val�rie. 829 01:04:57,534 --> 01:05:00,534 And we've already spent a lot of time together. 830 01:05:00,904 --> 01:05:03,904 I've got a real family, too. 831 01:05:05,408 --> 01:05:08,310 A real family? 832 01:05:08,311 --> 01:05:10,846 I mean... my family. 833 01:05:10,847 --> 01:05:12,214 OK. 834 01:05:12,215 --> 01:05:15,215 So, the rest of us don't exist? 835 01:05:15,418 --> 01:05:17,986 Maybe you put that part of your life behind you, 836 01:05:17,987 --> 01:05:20,987 but it doesn't mean the rest of us just vanished. 837 01:05:21,057 --> 01:05:22,691 We exist. 838 01:05:22,692 --> 01:05:25,160 We're here. 839 01:05:25,161 --> 01:05:28,161 And we're also your real family. 840 01:05:34,904 --> 01:05:36,838 I hope you're happy. 841 01:05:36,839 --> 01:05:39,374 I hope you're very happy. 842 01:05:39,375 --> 01:05:41,677 I hope you really, truly appreciate this. 843 01:05:41,678 --> 01:05:44,678 Because thanks to you, I had to lie to Val�rie. 844 01:05:45,682 --> 01:05:47,015 Thanks to you, 845 01:05:47,016 --> 01:05:50,016 I had to lie to the woman who's carrying my baby. 846 01:05:50,553 --> 01:05:53,355 And as far as lying goes... 847 01:05:53,356 --> 01:05:56,356 I'm done. 848 01:05:58,027 --> 01:06:01,027 Did you bring me here to tell everyone who I am? 849 01:06:01,564 --> 01:06:04,032 No. 850 01:06:04,033 --> 01:06:07,033 I want to keep you for myself. 851 01:07:34,324 --> 01:07:37,324 All right! 852 01:07:38,127 --> 01:07:41,127 Cheese? 853 01:07:53,409 --> 01:07:56,409 This one's a bit heavier. 854 01:08:15,164 --> 01:08:16,665 Right! 855 01:08:16,666 --> 01:08:19,666 How many for tofu? 856 01:08:19,836 --> 01:08:22,104 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 857 01:08:22,105 --> 01:08:24,339 I just want to say... 858 01:08:24,340 --> 01:08:26,775 I think it's disgusting, 859 01:08:26,776 --> 01:08:29,776 people who murder tofu for food. 860 01:08:30,113 --> 01:08:33,113 I don't know if you've ever seen a tofu slaughterhouse, 861 01:08:33,249 --> 01:08:34,349 but it's horrible. 862 01:08:34,350 --> 01:08:36,551 What they do to the tofu is shocking. 863 01:08:36,552 --> 01:08:39,552 But I'll cook some up for you anyway. 864 01:08:41,758 --> 01:08:44,426 See what happens when I put it on the grill? 865 01:08:44,427 --> 01:08:46,762 Exactly what it tastes like... 866 01:08:46,763 --> 01:08:49,763 nothing! 867 01:10:12,547 --> 01:10:15,547 I love my adoptive family. I adore them. 868 01:10:15,951 --> 01:10:18,951 I'm sure you all feel the same way. 869 01:10:19,154 --> 01:10:22,154 We all love our adoptive families. There's no doubt. 870 01:10:23,558 --> 01:10:26,558 But this has been the best weekend of my life. 871 01:10:27,028 --> 01:10:30,028 It would be really unfair 872 01:10:30,232 --> 01:10:33,232 for anyone to miss out on having a family like this. 873 01:10:34,970 --> 01:10:36,504 I don't know. 874 01:10:36,505 --> 01:10:39,505 Don't you think so? 875 01:11:07,602 --> 01:11:10,602 David! Hey, David! 876 01:11:45,607 --> 01:11:48,275 That was a lot offun. 877 01:11:48,276 --> 01:11:51,276 See you soon. 878 01:12:13,735 --> 01:12:16,735 Rapha�l! 879 01:12:30,752 --> 01:12:33,752 I just want you to know... 880 01:12:39,928 --> 01:12:42,928 I'm your father. 881 01:12:49,437 --> 01:12:50,704 Go ahead. 882 01:12:50,705 --> 01:12:52,640 Have a great day! 883 01:12:52,641 --> 01:12:55,641 Have a great day, ma'am. 884 01:12:56,211 --> 01:12:58,379 Have a great day, big guy. 885 01:12:58,380 --> 01:13:01,380 Careful, your hat. Have a great day. 886 01:13:19,300 --> 01:13:21,301 Coffee? Toast? Eggs? 887 01:13:21,302 --> 01:13:22,569 No, I'm fine. 888 01:13:22,570 --> 01:13:25,239 - Busy weekend? - Nothing special. 889 01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:28,240 I stayed home and read The Lord ofthe Rings. 890 01:13:28,877 --> 01:13:31,078 Lie to your girlfriend all you want. 891 01:13:31,079 --> 01:13:33,480 Lying is the basis of a solid relationship. 892 01:13:33,481 --> 01:13:35,816 But I'm not your girlfriend. 893 01:13:35,817 --> 01:13:38,817 So before you tell me you spent the weekend with Frodo and Gandalf, 894 01:13:40,188 --> 01:13:43,188 have a good look at this. 895 01:13:47,095 --> 01:13:50,095 THE CHILDREN OF STARBUCK 896 01:13:50,165 --> 01:13:53,165 It's not cutting-edge investigative journalism, 897 01:13:53,234 --> 01:13:56,234 but The Times and Paris Match are interested in the story, 898 01:13:57,272 --> 01:14:00,074 which means, by bedtime tonight, 899 01:14:00,075 --> 01:14:03,075 somewhere between 4 and 5 billion people 900 01:14:04,179 --> 01:14:07,179 will be wondering: "Who the fuck is Starbuck?" 901 01:14:09,718 --> 01:14:12,186 Is this good news? 902 01:14:12,187 --> 01:14:13,754 Is this good for the trial? 903 01:14:13,755 --> 01:14:16,755 Is this a situation we can turn to our advantage? 904 01:14:18,626 --> 01:14:20,627 - Yes. - Yes? 905 01:14:20,628 --> 01:14:23,628 Time to get aggressive. A countersuit. 906 01:14:23,732 --> 01:14:26,467 We're suing the clinic, too. 907 01:14:26,468 --> 01:14:27,534 For what? 908 01:14:27,535 --> 01:14:30,535 Libel. You should hear what they're saying about Starbuck. 909 01:14:31,239 --> 01:14:33,307 - Like what? - Awful stuff. 910 01:14:33,308 --> 01:14:34,374 But it's fine! 911 01:14:34,375 --> 01:14:36,877 With the countersuit, we'll settle your debts. 912 01:14:36,878 --> 01:14:38,479 We'll even make money. 913 01:14:38,480 --> 01:14:41,081 We'll get... 914 01:14:41,082 --> 01:14:44,082 a crapload of money! 915 01:14:47,555 --> 01:14:50,457 You want me to sell my children to pay off my debts. 916 01:14:50,458 --> 01:14:53,458 They're not your children! 917 01:14:57,232 --> 01:14:58,766 I want to come clean. 918 01:14:58,767 --> 01:15:01,468 You can't tell them who you are. 919 01:15:01,469 --> 01:15:02,903 They're my children. 920 01:15:02,904 --> 01:15:05,904 OK. 921 01:15:05,907 --> 01:15:08,907 But first I want you to hear what people are saying. 922 01:15:09,911 --> 01:15:12,179 I'm telling you this as your friend. 923 01:15:12,180 --> 01:15:15,180 How can one man be so devoid of humanity that he... 924 01:15:15,183 --> 01:15:17,918 so devoid of humanity 925 01:15:17,919 --> 01:15:20,919 that he can bring so many children into this world? 926 01:15:22,991 --> 01:15:24,291 You gotta be oblivious. 927 01:15:24,292 --> 01:15:27,292 Yeah, you have to be stupid or mentally unstable. 928 01:15:27,428 --> 01:15:30,428 I'd like to meet that guy and ask him a few questions. 929 01:15:34,836 --> 01:15:37,836 WHO IS STARBUCK? 930 01:15:57,058 --> 01:15:59,960 What do you think about this whole Starbuck thing? 931 01:15:59,961 --> 01:16:02,629 It's horrible. 932 01:16:02,630 --> 01:16:03,997 Why's that? 933 01:16:03,998 --> 01:16:06,733 Because it's horrible. Don't you think so? 934 01:16:06,734 --> 01:16:08,001 I don't know. 935 01:16:08,002 --> 01:16:09,670 What was he thinking? 936 01:16:09,671 --> 01:16:12,671 I'm sure he didn't think his sperm would be used as much as it was 937 01:16:13,675 --> 01:16:16,675 or that his profile would become so public. 938 01:16:16,744 --> 01:16:19,379 He's a pervert, plain and simple. 939 01:16:19,380 --> 01:16:20,681 He's not a pervert! 940 01:16:20,682 --> 01:16:22,816 - Yes, he is! - No, he's not! 941 01:16:22,817 --> 01:16:24,651 After 655 times, 942 01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:27,652 what's the difference between that and prostitution? 943 01:16:28,223 --> 01:16:29,890 It's not prostitution! 944 01:16:29,891 --> 01:16:32,059 - It's all the same. - No, it's not! 945 01:16:32,060 --> 01:16:35,060 When somebody pays you to masturbate, 946 01:16:35,496 --> 01:16:36,763 it's prostitution! 947 01:16:36,764 --> 01:16:39,764 - Can I help you? - Do you have a 533-seat stroller? 948 01:16:40,168 --> 01:16:41,235 - No. - No! 949 01:16:41,236 --> 01:16:44,236 Because it's not normal to have 533 children, is it? 950 01:16:44,839 --> 01:16:47,341 Imagine how mortified those children must be. 951 01:16:47,342 --> 01:16:49,710 It's a national disgrace! 952 01:16:49,711 --> 01:16:52,711 How does this make us look? 953 01:16:54,949 --> 01:16:57,784 For an air-conditioned room to beat off in, 954 01:16:57,785 --> 01:17:00,621 I'd pay $35 any day. 955 01:17:00,622 --> 01:17:03,622 But them paying me $35? That's a sweet deal! 956 01:17:04,692 --> 01:17:07,060 Why not? You're gonna do it anyway. 957 01:17:07,061 --> 01:17:09,796 It's like taking money to breathe. 958 01:17:09,797 --> 01:17:12,797 I'm sure that guy will never come forward. 959 01:17:14,435 --> 01:17:16,870 Imagine being known as Sergeant Pecker 960 01:17:16,871 --> 01:17:18,605 the rest of your life? 961 01:17:18,606 --> 01:17:19,973 How could you work? 962 01:17:19,974 --> 01:17:22,309 No matter what you'd say in a meeting, 963 01:17:22,310 --> 01:17:25,078 you'd still be Starbuck to everyone. 964 01:17:25,079 --> 01:17:28,079 You could make an awesome pitch, but they'd still think: 965 01:17:28,416 --> 01:17:31,416 "Hey, it's El Masturbator!" 966 01:17:33,655 --> 01:17:36,655 Anyone ever donate? 967 01:17:40,395 --> 01:17:43,395 David, you must have donated sperm at one time or another. 968 01:17:45,832 --> 01:17:48,832 No. 969 01:17:48,902 --> 01:17:51,902 What about when you lived next to the Lafrance Clinic. 970 01:17:53,073 --> 01:17:54,407 No. 971 01:17:54,408 --> 01:17:57,408 When you were a kid, you were always jerking off. 972 01:17:57,945 --> 01:18:00,346 Cut it out, dammit! 973 01:18:00,347 --> 01:18:01,781 I said cut it out! 974 01:18:01,782 --> 01:18:04,782 Can't you shut your mouth for once? 975 01:18:05,085 --> 01:18:08,085 Take it easy. 976 01:18:21,301 --> 01:18:24,136 David... 977 01:18:24,137 --> 01:18:27,137 your brothers want a word with you in the office. 978 01:18:47,027 --> 01:18:50,027 Some thugs showed up at Dad's. 979 01:18:51,498 --> 01:18:54,498 They threw him in the bathtub. 980 01:18:55,902 --> 01:18:58,902 They want their $80,000. 981 01:19:00,741 --> 01:19:03,741 - I went to all the banks. - Find the money. 982 01:19:15,188 --> 01:19:18,188 We're filing the countersuit. 983 01:19:18,358 --> 01:19:20,593 Excellent. 984 01:19:20,594 --> 01:19:23,594 I've got everything. It's all ready. 985 01:20:03,703 --> 01:20:06,703 GOOD LUCK, DAD 986 01:21:11,138 --> 01:21:14,138 A SPOKESMAN FOR THE CHILDREN OF STARBUCK 987 01:21:15,142 --> 01:21:18,142 David. 988 01:21:51,745 --> 01:21:54,745 All rise. 989 01:21:58,852 --> 01:22:01,852 We shall take the matter under advisement. 990 01:22:01,855 --> 01:22:04,855 Court is adjourned. 991 01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:49,101 Why are they taking so long? 992 01:22:49,102 --> 01:22:51,303 I don't know, David. 993 01:22:51,304 --> 01:22:54,304 - What don't you know? - Nothing, OK? 994 01:22:54,407 --> 01:22:57,407 I don't know anything! Absolutely nothing! 995 01:22:59,779 --> 01:23:01,046 My mother was right. 996 01:23:01,047 --> 01:23:04,047 I'm worthless. I'm out of my league, David! 997 01:23:04,484 --> 01:23:07,484 You should've hired a real lawyer! 998 01:23:17,631 --> 01:23:20,631 Yes! 999 01:23:21,501 --> 01:23:24,501 Yes. 1000 01:23:28,008 --> 01:23:31,008 Yes, all right. 1001 01:23:32,812 --> 01:23:35,812 The ruling's in. 1002 01:23:36,983 --> 01:23:39,983 Please be seated. 1003 01:23:47,427 --> 01:23:50,427 Both parties will receive a detailed written account 1004 01:23:50,964 --> 01:23:53,666 in which you will be able to read 1005 01:23:53,667 --> 01:23:55,768 that Starbuck... 1006 01:23:55,769 --> 01:23:58,769 is wholly and unequivocally 1007 01:23:59,372 --> 01:24:02,372 entitled to his anonymity. 1008 01:24:02,976 --> 01:24:05,976 He is also entitled to receive the compensation claimed 1009 01:24:06,179 --> 01:24:08,280 from the Lafrance Clinic 1010 01:24:08,281 --> 01:24:11,281 for damages and interest. 1011 01:24:14,521 --> 01:24:17,521 Starbuck will be entitled to keep his identity secret, 1012 01:24:18,458 --> 01:24:21,458 and will receive $200,000 in damages and interest, 1013 01:24:22,562 --> 01:24:25,562 a verdict that will shock many and disappoint many more. 1014 01:24:26,366 --> 01:24:29,366 I feel for all the children in the class-action suit, 1015 01:24:29,369 --> 01:24:32,369 but I am extremely proud to have defended my client's rights. 1016 01:24:34,240 --> 01:24:37,240 I'd like to say hello to my own children and... 1017 01:24:38,078 --> 01:24:40,412 my mother. 1018 01:24:40,413 --> 01:24:42,881 I won, Mom. 1019 01:24:42,882 --> 01:24:45,217 I won. 1020 01:24:45,218 --> 01:24:46,652 I got an A+! 1021 01:24:46,653 --> 01:24:49,653 I also wanna say... 1022 01:24:51,057 --> 01:24:53,025 well... we did it, David! 1023 01:24:53,026 --> 01:24:54,193 No... 1024 01:24:54,194 --> 01:24:56,328 We did it! 1025 01:24:56,329 --> 01:24:59,264 No! Shut up! No! 1026 01:24:59,265 --> 01:25:02,265 Who's David? 1027 01:25:05,372 --> 01:25:08,207 David is my lover. 1028 01:25:08,208 --> 01:25:10,743 He supported me. 1029 01:25:10,744 --> 01:25:13,744 Thank you, my darling David. 1030 01:25:14,748 --> 01:25:17,716 I love you. 1031 01:25:17,717 --> 01:25:19,451 I love you, David. 1032 01:25:19,452 --> 01:25:22,452 Are you disappointed, or did you expect this verdict? 1033 01:25:25,392 --> 01:25:28,392 Obviously, we're disappointed. 1034 01:25:28,895 --> 01:25:31,597 But it's not all bad. 1035 01:25:31,598 --> 01:25:34,400 What we found out today... 1036 01:25:34,401 --> 01:25:37,401 is that the law does not require Starbuck to come forward. 1037 01:25:39,038 --> 01:25:42,038 But there's more to this than the law. 1038 01:25:42,475 --> 01:25:45,475 There's us. And there's him. 1039 01:25:47,614 --> 01:25:50,614 Beyond the law, there are human beings. 1040 01:25:51,217 --> 01:25:54,052 Ultimately, the choice is his. 1041 01:25:54,053 --> 01:25:56,488 He can stay in hiding. 1042 01:25:56,489 --> 01:25:59,391 But now that he's seen us, 1043 01:25:59,392 --> 01:26:02,392 he could decide to reveal his identity on his own. 1044 01:26:03,496 --> 01:26:06,496 There's been a massive anti-Starbuck backlash in the media. 1045 01:26:08,001 --> 01:26:11,001 We want our father to know... 1046 01:26:11,237 --> 01:26:14,139 we don't see him as a pervert. 1047 01:26:14,140 --> 01:26:17,140 We see him as someone who gave happiness and life... 1048 01:26:18,945 --> 01:26:21,944 to people who really needed it. 1049 01:26:23,015 --> 01:26:26,015 Thank you. 1050 01:26:48,440 --> 01:26:50,007 Congratulations... 1051 01:26:50,008 --> 01:26:53,008 darling. 1052 01:26:54,346 --> 01:26:57,215 I had it. 1053 01:26:57,216 --> 01:26:59,884 For the first time ever, I got it all right, 1054 01:26:59,885 --> 01:27:02,885 and I had to go and fuck it up. 1055 01:27:05,624 --> 01:27:08,624 My mother caught it all on television. 1056 01:27:08,861 --> 01:27:11,696 Was she surprised to find out you have a male lover? 1057 01:27:11,697 --> 01:27:14,697 No, she said she always suspected it. 1058 01:27:14,800 --> 01:27:17,800 She thinks we make a cute couple. 1059 01:27:18,570 --> 01:27:20,004 What about your kids? 1060 01:27:20,005 --> 01:27:23,005 They think it's cool. 1061 01:27:24,877 --> 01:27:27,877 I wanted to ask you... 1062 01:27:28,180 --> 01:27:30,381 incidentally... 1063 01:27:30,382 --> 01:27:33,382 theoretically... 1064 01:27:33,485 --> 01:27:35,219 if I reveal my identity now, 1065 01:27:35,220 --> 01:27:38,220 do I lose the money from the countersuit? 1066 01:27:40,526 --> 01:27:43,227 Theoretically... 1067 01:27:43,228 --> 01:27:46,228 do I lose the money from the countersuit? 1068 01:27:47,900 --> 01:27:50,900 Yes, I think so. 1069 01:27:55,874 --> 01:27:58,874 I was officially trying to turn my life around. 1070 01:28:04,082 --> 01:28:07,082 It's harder than I thought. 1071 01:28:47,059 --> 01:28:50,059 Dad... 1072 01:28:51,396 --> 01:28:54,396 I'm Starbuck. 1073 01:29:03,008 --> 01:29:06,008 You're "El Masturbator"? 1074 01:29:22,594 --> 01:29:25,129 For once in my life, 1075 01:29:25,130 --> 01:29:28,130 I'd like to make the right decision. 1076 01:29:31,370 --> 01:29:34,370 I'd like to be a normal person. 1077 01:29:35,540 --> 01:29:38,342 What would a normal person do in this situation? 1078 01:29:38,343 --> 01:29:41,343 A normal person wouldn't be in this situation. 1079 01:29:41,880 --> 01:29:44,880 I know, but let's just say they were, OK? 1080 01:29:47,953 --> 01:29:50,953 You know what? 1081 01:29:53,191 --> 01:29:55,960 You're probably one of the few people 1082 01:29:55,961 --> 01:29:58,961 who can cope in a situation as screwed up as this one. 1083 01:30:05,303 --> 01:30:07,905 Why don't you tell them? 1084 01:30:07,906 --> 01:30:10,906 Because, as you know, I've got money problems. 1085 01:30:14,379 --> 01:30:17,379 Your debts. 1086 01:30:26,525 --> 01:30:29,525 You know I grew up in unspeakable poverty. 1087 01:30:30,829 --> 01:30:32,830 I know, Dad. 1088 01:30:32,831 --> 01:30:35,831 When I left Warsaw to come to Canada, 1089 01:30:36,435 --> 01:30:38,602 my father gave me $10. 1090 01:30:38,603 --> 01:30:40,938 It's all he had. 1091 01:30:40,939 --> 01:30:42,940 I couldn't refuse his help, 1092 01:30:42,941 --> 01:30:45,941 but I promised I'd pay him back a thousand times over 1093 01:30:46,845 --> 01:30:49,845 when I made my fortune. 1094 01:30:49,915 --> 01:30:51,515 My father died 1095 01:30:51,516 --> 01:30:54,516 while your mother and I were still penniless. 1096 01:30:57,956 --> 01:31:00,424 I always wondered... 1097 01:31:00,425 --> 01:31:02,760 what was more difficult for him: 1098 01:31:02,761 --> 01:31:05,761 not having given enough to his children 1099 01:31:06,198 --> 01:31:08,799 or not having been beside them 1100 01:31:08,800 --> 01:31:11,800 during the hard times. 1101 01:31:14,473 --> 01:31:17,473 My greatest achievement in life... 1102 01:31:17,976 --> 01:31:20,976 has been to have you all beside me every single day. 1103 01:31:22,214 --> 01:31:25,214 That's my greatest achievement. 1104 01:31:26,318 --> 01:31:29,220 So, like my father before me... 1105 01:31:29,221 --> 01:31:32,221 I want to help you. 1106 01:31:32,758 --> 01:31:35,059 Here. 1107 01:31:35,060 --> 01:31:37,461 Here's $10. 1108 01:31:37,462 --> 01:31:39,663 Dad... 1109 01:31:39,664 --> 01:31:42,664 It brought me luck. 1110 01:31:42,968 --> 01:31:45,968 So take the $10. 1111 01:31:47,472 --> 01:31:50,472 And take your share of the butcher shop. 1112 01:31:53,345 --> 01:31:56,345 It's your inheritance. 1113 01:31:59,117 --> 01:32:02,117 In small bills. 1114 01:32:18,003 --> 01:32:21,003 I'm scared I'll be a disappointment to them. 1115 01:32:21,606 --> 01:32:23,808 Why would you be? 1116 01:32:23,809 --> 01:32:26,809 Because I'm just a meat-delivery guy. 1117 01:32:29,514 --> 01:32:32,216 And a terrible one at that. 1118 01:32:32,217 --> 01:32:35,217 True, you're terrible at delivering meat. 1119 01:32:35,220 --> 01:32:38,220 It takes you four times longer than it takes anyone else. 1120 01:32:41,726 --> 01:32:44,726 But wherever you go... 1121 01:32:45,063 --> 01:32:48,063 people love you. 1122 01:32:48,834 --> 01:32:50,901 They'll love you. 1123 01:32:50,902 --> 01:32:53,902 Everyone loves you. That doesn't worry me one bit. 1124 01:33:12,357 --> 01:33:15,357 MY NAME IS DAVID WOZNIAK. I AM STARBUCK. 1125 01:33:37,249 --> 01:33:38,616 Heads up! 1126 01:33:38,617 --> 01:33:41,617 We're live in eight, seven, six... 1127 01:33:57,369 --> 01:34:00,369 We'll be right there, sir! 1128 01:34:04,976 --> 01:34:07,976 Val�rie! 1129 01:35:11,508 --> 01:35:14,508 Mr. Wozniak? 1130 01:35:15,145 --> 01:35:18,145 There are some people here for you. 1131 01:35:57,921 --> 01:36:00,921 Is he healthy? 1132 01:36:01,425 --> 01:36:02,892 Yes. 1133 01:36:02,893 --> 01:36:05,893 So, can you come in to work tomorrow? 1134 01:36:53,744 --> 01:36:56,744 This is a bit weird, huh? 1135 01:36:58,749 --> 01:37:01,749 Sorry. 1136 01:37:13,063 --> 01:37:14,797 My name is David. 1137 01:37:14,798 --> 01:37:17,400 David Wozniak. 1138 01:37:17,401 --> 01:37:20,401 And I'm your biological father. 1139 01:37:24,575 --> 01:37:27,575 And you all have a new little brother. 1140 01:37:27,778 --> 01:37:30,778 He showed up a bit early, but he's doing very well. 1141 01:37:31,115 --> 01:37:34,115 Can we see him? 1142 01:37:35,953 --> 01:37:38,953 Sure. 1143 01:37:39,189 --> 01:37:42,189 I'll see what I can arrange. 1144 01:38:00,477 --> 01:38:01,844 Val�rie. 1145 01:38:01,845 --> 01:38:04,845 He's so small. 1146 01:38:07,050 --> 01:38:10,050 Val�rie. 1147 01:38:17,027 --> 01:38:20,027 Will you marry me? 1148 01:38:21,298 --> 01:38:24,298 Don't you wanna see whether my figure comes back? 1149 01:38:27,638 --> 01:38:30,638 If you stay flabby, I'll get flabby, too. 1150 01:38:33,877 --> 01:38:36,412 Is this the first time "flabby" has been used 1151 01:38:36,413 --> 01:38:39,413 in a marriage proposal? 1152 01:39:02,873 --> 01:39:05,873 I'm Starbuck. 1153 01:39:18,922 --> 01:39:20,423 Why? 1154 01:39:20,424 --> 01:39:23,424 Why are you always trying to con me? 1155 01:39:24,695 --> 01:39:26,429 How could you think a proposal 1156 01:39:26,430 --> 01:39:29,430 would make it easier to swallow the fact you have 533 children? 1157 01:39:31,301 --> 01:39:34,203 Well, you can forget about this child. 1158 01:39:34,204 --> 01:39:37,204 Let me be clear on two things. 1159 01:39:37,207 --> 01:39:40,207 First, you asked me to change as quickly as possible, 1160 01:39:41,111 --> 01:39:43,946 and that's exactly what I'm doing. 1161 01:39:43,947 --> 01:39:46,616 I've thought about this a lot. 1162 01:39:46,617 --> 01:39:49,617 I've concluded that nobody can make that decision for me. 1163 01:39:51,054 --> 01:39:54,054 Not a judge, not my family, not Paul Arcand, not even you. 1164 01:39:56,493 --> 01:39:59,493 I'll decide whether or not I'm that child's father. 1165 01:40:01,231 --> 01:40:04,231 My name is David Wozniak, and I am the father of that child. 1166 01:40:05,669 --> 01:40:07,069 Me. 1167 01:40:07,070 --> 01:40:09,238 You can say or do whatever you want. 1168 01:40:09,239 --> 01:40:12,239 It won't change the fact that I am that child's father. 1169 01:40:14,645 --> 01:40:17,645 The other fact that won't change is that I'm Starbuck. 1170 01:40:20,017 --> 01:40:22,351 I know it's freaky. 1171 01:40:22,352 --> 01:40:24,520 Nobody's gone through this before. 1172 01:40:24,521 --> 01:40:27,521 We're like the first astronauts on the moon. 1173 01:40:27,824 --> 01:40:30,824 But I see... 1174 01:40:31,361 --> 01:40:34,361 infinite possibilities for happiness... 1175 01:40:35,966 --> 01:40:38,966 and an incredible amount of free babysitting. 1176 01:40:42,472 --> 01:40:43,539 Second... 1177 01:40:43,540 --> 01:40:45,708 That was a very long point. 1178 01:40:45,709 --> 01:40:48,709 I admit the first point was a bit on the long side. 1179 01:40:49,012 --> 01:40:51,547 Second... 1180 01:40:51,548 --> 01:40:54,548 the proposal... 1181 01:40:54,851 --> 01:40:57,851 was for real. 1182 01:40:59,156 --> 01:41:00,890 The second point was shorter. 1183 01:41:00,891 --> 01:41:03,891 I think I managed to be more succinct with that one. 1184 01:41:12,235 --> 01:41:15,235 I've already revealed my identity. 1185 01:41:15,405 --> 01:41:18,405 You did? 1186 01:41:50,207 --> 01:41:53,207 Promise me you'll take me to Venice someday. 1187 01:43:53,462 --> 01:43:56,462 On behalf of all of your real family, 1188 01:43:56,999 --> 01:43:59,999 thank you. 1189 01:48:49,625 --> 01:48:51,859 Translation: Shonda Secord 78169

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