All language subtitles for Call Your Mother s01e06 Sunday Dinner.eng

I'm so happy we decided
to make Sunday dinners

a weekly thing again.Yeah.

Makes it really feel
like home.

I guess, if home were
a tiny renovated garage

owned by a semi-divorced
Australian.

Ooh.
Don't mind her.

She's just grumpy
'cause she's the only one

at the table
without a dinner date.

It's not a date.It's not a date.

Okay. Yeah. I was just trying
to burn Jackie.

Don't really need to know
your details.

Thank you again for inviting me,
Mother Raines.

We've been looking forward to it
all week.

That's right, everybody.
We're a "we," and we love it.

And yes, we know
how cute we are.

[ Chuckles ]
Of course, Victor.

Lane's person
is my person.

I love that
I'm your person.

So, wait, now everyone
just calls my mother "Mother"

and introduces her
to their "person"?

You know, it's funny, when I
first met Freddie, it was --

You know, Jackie, I asked you
to bring your person.

Every week.

I've told you
I'd like to meet him.

I think we'd all
like to meet him.

Why?
So you can make fun?

Yes.
Of course we'd make fun.

You're dating a guy
who is almost 70, Jackie.

It's not like he's gonna
hear us, is an example.

Okay, and that is why
it's never happening.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

-I'm sorry.
-Oh.

You know, I dated
an older man once,

but he kept
calling me "baby"

and then for some reason,
I started calling him "Daddy."

It was hot
until he got sick.

[ Clears throat ]

Well, looks like we found
a wine that Celia likes.

-[ Chuckles ]
-I'll grab another.

[ Cellphone chimes ]Oh, I'm so sorry.

Everything okay?

Yeah, just Cheryl.
We're having a thing.

O-Oh. Right.

I'm aware of you and your
not-quite-ex-wife's "thing."

Deal with it later.

I'll serve the cake.

So, Jackie.
Nope.

I already went.
Pick on Freddie.

This man is in your life,

for however long -- His kidneys hold up.

His liver
keeps functioning.

He lives? I don't know.
I'm just spitballing.

He's your boyf--
man -- old --

What do you call him?

His name is Hank, okay?
I call him Hank.

Look, you guys can make
all the fun you want,

but the reason
you haven't met him

is because you've never accepted
my choices.

Clothes, boyfriends.

Remember when I got bangs

and you all got me hats
for Christmas?

[ Chuckles ]Well, honey,

your hair's way too wavy
for bangs, and you know it.

Exactly my point.

Just bring Old Hank
to dinner.

I mean Hank.
Just Hank.

We'll be on
our best behavior.

We can do that,
right, Freddie?

Oh, yeah. Of course.
I was just kidding.

Bring him, Jackie.
We'll be nice.

We'll get him some soft foods,
we'll crank up the heat,

we'll add some railing
in the bathroom.

Nailed it.
[ Chuckles ]

I can't.
Love has changed me.

Alright, fine.
I will bring him.

But if any of you
embarrass me,

I'll never share another detail
about my life with you again.

Well, this feels like
one of those

too-good-to-be-true
situations.

Freddie, stop.

You have nothing to worry about,
sweetheart.

I believe I've shown
I can tolerate

all sorts of people
in less-than-ideal situations.

Oh, Celia, thanks for
bringing the cake.

Oh, boy.

Are you okay?

It's just a little dry.
[ Clears throat ]

Really? This cake is blowing up
on my Instagram feed.

It's not dry.

It's citrusy, delicate,
and delicious.

[ Both chuckle ]

Well, I guess everything
slides down easier

when you have enough wine.

-I like it.
-Mm.

But maybe everything tastes
better when I'm with you.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, wait.

Never mind.

There is
an aftertaste.

Even bad food
looks good on you.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Freddie, do you think
your mother hates me?

What? No.
Baby, of course not.

My mom's from Iowa.

The only thing she hates

is being mistaken for
someone from Nebraska.

[ Sighs ]
You didn't notice

the subtle digs
coming at me all night?

That's crazy.

You did not
just call me crazy.

Relax.

You did not
just tell me to relax.

Jamás en la vida

yo he sido loco como ella
se atreve pensar asi?

Dios mío.

I think I heard something
about a train?

Cel,
my mom loves everybody.

Maybe you just don't get
her sense of humor.

You know,
she's Iowa funny.

Yeah, well,
she's California mean.

I don't understand,
Fred.

I've never had a boyfriend's mom
not like me.

I have 100,000 followers,
okay?

I made a career
of being loved.

I love you.

I've spent my whole life
getting parents to like me.

I've had two stepmoms,
three stepdads,

and one dad's friend
named Connie.

If I can get Connie to love me,
[Scoffs] I can get your mom.

Yeah.
Before you know it,

she'll think
I'm too good for you.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Is that really
the win we're looking for?

♪♪♪

It's just an inch off
to the left.

Is it?
Oh, shoot.

No. It's fine.

I'm kidding.
What's going on with you?

You love
Sunday family dinner.

Yeah, but this week
is different.

I'm just
really nervous

about meeting Jackie's
Old Hank tonight.

But you're the one
who wanted him to come.

Why are you
stressed about it?

Because Jackie thinks
I judge her terrible choices,

and I need to show her
that I'm capable

of accepting her disastrous
life decisions.

Okay, I'm gonna suggest
a different toast, but yeah.

I just don't know how I'm
supposed to accept the fact

that my 25-year-old daughter
is dating someone

who's 25 years
older than me.

I thought you said
he was in his 60s.

Shut up.
This isn't about math.

I just need to make Old Hank
feel comfortable,

even if the whole thing
makes me wildly uncomfortable.

I mean,
what do old guys like?

[ Inhales sharply ]
Old women?

No, that's clearly wrong.
Sorry.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Oh. You look nice.

Thank you.
You know Hank will appreciate it.

Old people are always talking
about how much they liked it

when passengers dressed up
to fly on airplanes.

Yeah, uh, but Jean,

I'm not staying for dinner
tonight, remember?

Oh, no.
I didn't remember.

I have that thing
with Cheryl.

Oh, right.

Uh, you actually never
told me what that thing was.

Didn't I?
Mm.

[ Chuckles ]
Thought I did. No.

Hmm.

Should I tell you now,
or is this --

It'll add to the stress
of all the --

Yeah,
I'll tell you now.

So, Cheryl and I
have these old friends,

and they're
getting married,

but they don't know that
we're getting un-married,

and there was just never
a good time to tell them,

and so, uh, funny story --

Cheryl and I are agreeing
to go to the wedding together.

Keep up appearances.

You know, for old friends,
you know?

In and out,
not a big deal.

Mm.

Got it. Yeah.

Uh, you know, if it helps,
we're driving separately.

Oh.
I mean, kind of.

We're meeting at
a 7-Eleven parking lot

and then we're going in
together.

You mad?
Nope.

You seem mad.I could get mad.

I should go.Yeah, you should.

I don't want to make you late
with my drama.

Have a nice time
with your drama.

Okay. I'll, uh --
I'll bring you back some shrimp,

maybe,
if they have any.

You sure
you're not mad?

♪♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, hi, Cookie.
Where's Victor?

Oh, he had to work, but he sends
his regards and these.

Oh, they're beautiful!

I like this guy for you --
and for me.

Ah, yeah,
but he's only for me.

I don't do that anymore.Ah.

Hey, Mom. Hey, is Jackie here
with her man-pa yet?

Her grand-friend?

Ah, I'm still
working on it.

Shh!
No, and no more of that.

He has a name.

It's Old Hank.

Hank! [ Sighs ]

Look at the beautiful flowers
that Victor got me.

Oh, did that
fall off of here?

No, no, no. I'm being
sponsored by a florist.

This is a European
hand bouquet.

It's supposed to
be small.

Oh. Lovely.

Just not sure I have a vase
this...European.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, I have something.

See?
She loved them.

See?

Perfect fit
for my toothbrush cup.

[ Door opens ]

Okay.
We are here.

Um, Mom, this is Hank,
my boss, my...person.

The Bogie to her Bacall.

[ Chuckles ]

What is that?
What are you doing?

It's before your time.

Nice to meet you.
Hmm.

May I call you Mom?

You may not.

[ Chuckles ]

Listen, I know we're all
a little anxious,

and I've had
enough waitresses

tell me
my daughter is pretty

to know that this relationship
is unconventional.

Unconventional?

Weird.

But just so you know,
I care about Jackie.

She keeps me laughing
all day long.

You're kidding.

I'm funny
when I want to be.

[ Laughs ]

These are for you.

Oh. Ooh.

Wow. Those are
some serious flowers.

She's gonna need
a bigger toothbrush cup.

♪♪♪

And why did they
get rid of car keys?

[ Laughing ] I said
the exact same thing yesterday.

And twice
this morning.

They're not keys.
They're fobs.

And why did they have to
change the name?

I said that, too!

Are we gonna
eat food ever?

Also,
I miss real bumpers.

I only had an apple
for lunch.

I have to say, Hank,

I'm so glad that Jackie finally
decided to introduce us.

This has been
such a lovely surprise.

-The pleasure is mine.
-Mm.

I just knew
I'd love you all.

You're as warm
and easy to get along with

as Jackie herself.

Really?

I'm different at work.

I'm gonna check
on the pot pie.

Ooh, pot pie is my favorite.Ooh.

Guess I'm still
an Illinois boy at heart.

You're from the Midwest?

Oh,
I should have guessed.

You can always tell
the people from LA.

They always have their faces
buried in their phones.[ Chuckles ]

And don't get me started
on Nebraska.

Don't get mestarted
on Nebraska.

Seriously. Do not get them
started on Nebraska.

[ Chuckles ]
Can I help you in the kitchen?

Oh, don't be silly.

You just enjoy yourself.
Tonight, you're family.

Oh, can I help?

Oh, don't be silly.
You're a guest.

Can I see you outside,
please?

Oh, God, yes.

[ Door opens ]Uh,
where are you going?

And cars used to just have
one big front seat...

[ Door closes ]...so you could
have your girl

just slide
right up next to you.

I really like Old Hank.

He's charming and funny.

It just goes to show,
you shouldn't judge someone --

I'm breaking up
with Hank.

What?

I realized
we're not a good match.

I think the only reason
I was with him

is 'cause I was so lost
after Andy left me,

and he was there.

But we have nothing
in common.

But now I like him,

and I thought that was
the whole point.

This is just like when I finally
got used to your bangs

and then you decided
to grow them out.

What happened?

I was feeling confused
about my feelings for him,

but I'm not confused
anymore.

So, when I was horrified
and disapproved,

you had no intention of
breaking up with him?

Correct.

But now that I like him
and accept the relationship,

you want to end it?Correct.

[ Sighs ]
What did I do to you?

Do you see it now?

She welcomes everybody
into this family

with open arms
except for me.

She's practically
adopted Lane.

She put my flowers
in her toothbrush cup.

She's probably gonna
press Hank's in a book.

Come on, baby.

Hank's flowers are
way too big for a book.[ Door opens ]

Hey, what are you --Your mother hates me.

Never mind.
Lane.

Come back here.

We need your opinion.

Look, I don't want
to get caught up

in the middle of
whatever this is.

Plus, I got to get
back in with Hank.

He was just about to tell me
how hard it was

to understand the words
in "Hamilton."

Lane, do you think
Jean likes me?

Lane, just say yes,

'cause you know my mom
likes everybody, right?

Answer the question.

Yeah. Go ahead, Lane.
Answer the question.

Okay.

I would say
I've definitely noticed...

Mother Raines is not as...

what's the word?

She doesn't like Celia!
Okay?

I don't know why, because
Mother Raines likes everyone,

but she definitely
has a problem with you.

There.
Ha. I knew it.

I hate that
you made me do that.

That's not what I do.
I'm a spreader of sunshine.

This dinner party sucks for me.
I'm so hungry.

Hmm. See?

I told you.
Your mother doesn't like me.

I win.

Oh, wait.

Your mom really doesn't
like me.

[ Sighs ]

Jackie, you can't
treat Hank like this.

You're worried
about Hank?

You're supposed to be
on myside.

Oh, you're Team Hank.
I got it.

No, I'm always
Team Jackie,

but I guess you're right.

I-I just don't understand
your choices.

I haven't been
making choices.

I've just been letting life
happen to me.

I'm not happy with Hank,

but I haven't been
able to leave.

So I was counting on you guys
to make things horrible tonight

so maybe he would
go away on his own

and I wouldn't have to
do anything about it.

Oh, Jackie.

Seriously.
What did I do to you?

When I was 6,

I wanted to stop being friends
with Abigail Hunt,

but you said I had to
keep being friends with her

'cause if I didn't,
it would hurt her feelings,

and I haven't been able to
end a relationship since.

Wait. What?

You're saying I really did
do this to you? Yes.

You're also the reason
that I can't let my food touch

and I don't like hot tubs.

Oh.

Mom, listen,

if you don't help me scare Hank
off, he's never gonna leave,

and I'm gonna be stuck
with him forever, too.[ Knock on door ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Hey, how's it going?
Is it awful?

How's Old Hank?
Is he old?

Oh. Hank's fine.
Jackie's the problem.

Every time I think
I'm on level ground

and I've got a handle on things,
she shakes things up.

Oh.Wait. You left Cheryl?

Oh, it was a cash bar.

There was no shrimp.
There was no AC.

I'm sorry I left you.What about your thing?

Well,
I like our thing better.

Oh, that's just
so incredibly nice.

What just happened?

Jackie wants to dump Hank,

but she can't because she
doesn't break up with people.

She just waits
for them to leave her,

which is apparently
my fault.

No, you kissed me
on my mouth.

Oh, so now everything's
my fault?

Look, I was under duress.
[ Chuckles nervously ]

Some people drink
in times of stress.

I kiss people.

It's why I file my taxes
online now.

[ Door opens ]

Can I see you outside,
please?

Oh, God, yes.

♪♪♪

Oh, I have bad news.

Jackie wants to break up
with Hank.

Hey, Mom, do you hate
my girlfriend?

She says they have
nothing in common.

Answer me.

Celia's been feeling
your vibe.

Oh, for corn's sake,
my vibe?

Freddie,
that's ridiculous.

Lane said it, too.

What?
What did Cookie say?

He said that he can tell
you don't like Celia,

and it's bothering him --
and her.

Now me.

I can assure you,

I have no opinion about Celia
whatsoever.

Mom, now I know
that they're right

because you have an opinion
about literally everything.

You ranted for 45 minutes
to me yesterday

about outdoor rugs.

Well, why do people
have rugs outside?

Outside is for grass.
Outside is for dirt.

Mom!

This is crazy.

I love her.

I need to know
what you think of her.

Okay.

I think it's...great

that Celia is comfortable
being herself.

All the time.

Mom,
I know what that is.

That's how you used to say
you didn't like a kid

when you were a teacher.

Okay, fine.

I feel like she's the reason
we grew apart.

O-Once she came
into the picture,

I didn't hear from you
as much.

You stopped calling me.

But, look, I don't have to
love all your girlfriends.

Everyone goes through
phases.

You're gonna date
all kinds of people.

I'm a phase, Freddie?

What? No. No.

I have to go.

Celia,
my mom didn't mean that.

Mom, will you tell her
that you didn't mean that?

I didn't mean that!

I was under duress!

Celia, wait.

Freddie, I have nothing
against Celia.

She's just not who I pictured
for you long-term.

Oh, God.
Oh, God.

Celia, just wait, please.Freddie, it's okay.

Jean, I don't care
if you like me or not,

or if you like my cake,

which is highly rated
by celebrities.

Oh, Celia, I don't dislike you
or your cake.

That's a lie.
I dislike your cake.

But I have nothing
against you.

Mom...

[Sighs] that's
just not true.

Celia's right.

You treat her different
than you treat everybody else.

You're even on board
with Old Hank.

Actually,
my uncle is Old Hank.

I'm Little Hank.

This has nothing to do
with Celia.

I just pictured you
with someone different,

someone
from the Midwest.

[ Sighs ]A family person.

A-A vest person.

Quirky,
but down to earth.

You know.

So, you?

You could do worse.

Ugh.
Oh, my God.

Mom,
Celia is my partner.

I love her.

I want to spend my life
with her.

Freddie, I don't want to
make you choose

between me and your mom.

No, there is --
there's no choice.

Thank you, honey.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Celia...

Celia, my life
is so much better

with you in it.

I love
the way you smile.

I love the way you curse at me
in Spanish --

at least, that's what I assume
you're doing --

to the way that you
just don't mind

watching me play video games
for hours on end.

You let me be myself,
and I want to be with you

for...forever.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, my God.

Celia,
will you marry me?

Are you sure
about this?

100%.

Yes.
Ooh.

[ Chuckles ]

I want to break up
with you.

What?

I'm sorry.
I had to do it.

Uh, maybe the timing
isn't perfect.

Maybe?

I'm sorry.

It's okay, Jackie.

Breakups don't
have to be dramatic.

We're not
Tracy and Hepburn.

From accounting?

Mnh.

That one hurt a little.

I think it's time
for me to go.

Okay.

Whoo! [ Chuckles ]

That felt good.
[ Chuckles ]

I've never walked away
from anything before.

Ah.

Okay. And actually,
while I'm at it,

property management
is not my soulmate, either.

I would like to offer
my resignation.

I'll miss you.

As my girlfriend.

Work-wise,
you're totally replaceable.

I'll miss you, too.

I'm just gonna
say goodbye to Jeannie.Mm.

Ask her out, and it will be
the last thing you do.

Then I'll just go home.

-Aah!
-[ Laughs ]

Congratulations.

Oh, my God!
[ Chuckles ]

♪♪♪

Oh, thanks.

I'm still adjusting
to the news.

I could use
a Celia-sized pour.

In my family,
we call it a "Cousin Carol."

[ Sighs ]

Are we gonna talk
about the kiss?

My baby's engaged.

Yeah, we can stay on that
for a second.

It's just so hard
'cause I used to get

to make all their decisions
for them.

I used to lay out
their clothes on their beds,

give them their haircuts,
pick their friends,

cut their friends' hair.

I think we should talk
about the kiss.

It was nothing.

In the heat of the moment.
No big deal.

Still doesn't mean
anything.

We're off limits.

See? Nothing.
Absolutely --

Absolutely...nothing.

♪♪♪

I'm just saying, if I wanted
a computer, I'd get a computer.

I just want a car.

I just want to stop
having this conversation.

How you doing, sweetie?

You feeling okay?

I'm great.

Well, actually, I'm kind of
worried about money.

I do not have a job,

and I do not get to
keep the change

that Hank used to leave
on the dresser anymore.

But on the upside,
the old man smell

is finally leaving
my apartment.

Thank you guys
for being Team Jackie.

Well, I'm definitely
Team Jackie,

now that
we're gonna be sisters.

Mm.
[ Chuckles ]

Wow.
You miss one dinner.

Yeah, you're never missing
another one.

Like,
even if we break up.

But we're never
breaking up.

And to celebrate
the new development,

I made a special dessert.

It's my famous
three-layer buttercream cake.

Made with four sticks
of butter

and an unspeakable amount
of sugar.

Now thisis a cake.

[ Chuckles ]

It's an old family recipe,

and since you're family now,

I think it's time to pass
the recipe along to you.

[ Exhales sharply ]

I'm family.

Careful
what you wish for.

[ All chuckling ]

To family.

-To family.
-Family.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

I like it. I like it.

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