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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:07,757 Is it my turn? 2 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,426 No, we're still waiting for Calvin to play. 3 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,428 Okay, uh, stop rushing me. 4 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:14,597 Dave took like ten minutes to put down the word "cat." 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,267 Well, I was one letter away from "catnip," 6 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,436 but all I had was this blank tile. 7 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,440 Damn it! 8 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,109 Okay, all right, here we go. 9 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,737 Here we go right here. F-I... 10 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:32,115 N-N-A. 11 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:35,118 Boom. Triple word score. 12 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,829 (laughs) 13 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,829 "Finna"? 14 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,330 What's "finna"? 15 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,790 You know, as in, 16 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,668 "I'm finna get 38 points for that word." 17 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,962 (mutters softly) 18 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:49,257 I'm pretty sure "finna" isn't in the dictionary. 19 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,969 Well, Black people say it all the time, 20 00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:55,388 so if it's not, your dictionary's racist. 21 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,390 Boom, triple word score. 22 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,644 Ah... 23 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,146 What's wrong? 24 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,814 I'm having some problems with my wrist lately. 25 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,399 I think I might have carpal tunnel. 26 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,068 Damn it. I could've played "carpal," too. 27 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,698 Dave, if your wrist hurts, you should see my doctor. 28 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,366 Dr. Richards is like family. 29 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,244 Calvin, Dr. Richards died nine years ago. 30 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,538 He did? 31 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,750 Well, let that be a lesson. Don't let family drift apart. 32 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,002 Seriously, Calvin? 33 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,921 You haven't seen a doctor in nine years? 34 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,339 TINA: No. I've been begging him 35 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,049 to get a physical for the longest time, 36 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,258 but he just won't go. 37 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,676 That's because I don't need to. 38 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,261 Look, I'm so healthy, 39 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,389 I already outlived my doctor by nine years. 40 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,851 Calvin, you should really listen to Tina. 41 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,436 You know, your health is important. 42 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,231 If I were you, I would definitely be finna to go. 43 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,820 Gemma, you're right. It's not a word. 44 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,532 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 45 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,950 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 46 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,373 Oh, hey, Calvin. 47 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,373 Hey, Dave. 48 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,833 What do you got there? 49 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,626 Oh, just some of my old juggling clubs. 50 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,712 You know, I would say I didn't know you juggled, but deep down, 51 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,423 I think I did. 52 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,716 Well, I haven't done it in years, 53 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,426 so I might be a little rusty. 54 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,137 But I figured, hey, what's the worst that could happen? 55 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,806 I don't know, but whatever it is, 56 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,308 I am definitely getting it on video. 57 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,394 Just got to do one last thing. 58 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,980 Whoa. Whoa, you're setting them on fire? 59 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,898 I thought you said you hadn't juggled in years. 60 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,775 That's crazy. 61 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,277 Well, maybe, but not half as crazy 62 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,070 as skipping the doctor for nine years. 63 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:37,407 So I guess you could say we're both playing with fire. 64 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,035 Oh, okay. So that's what this is about. 65 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,413 You know what? I take it back. 66 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,832 Go ahead. Roast your marshmallows. 67 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,459 Okay. 68 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,169 Calvin, I'm serious. 69 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,088 You got to go to the doctor every year. 70 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,464 It's really important. 71 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,258 Dave, I'm fine. 72 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,759 I treat my body like a temple. 73 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,053 It's probably why so many people worship me. 74 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,599 Okay, I guess Tina was right. You won't listen to reason. 75 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,434 So it looks like I'm gonna have to try 76 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,019 something else to get you to do it. 77 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,146 What? 78 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,146 Embarrass you. 79 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,939 If you don't go to the doctor, I'm gonna make a T-shirt 80 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,774 that says "Calvin is my best friend," 81 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,776 and I'm gonna wear it wherever we go. 82 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,820 Eh, you wouldn't. 83 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,820 I already did. 84 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,450 How'd you get that made so fast? 85 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,452 You just found out about this last night. 86 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,162 Actually, I've had it for a while. 87 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,664 I had it made for our upcoming friendiversary. 88 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,125 Just picture it, Calvin. 89 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,127 You're in the barber shop holding court, 90 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,546 I stroll in wearing this. 91 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,383 So what? I've been the big dog around here a long time. 92 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,136 It'll take more than a T-shirt to bring me down. 93 00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:43,056 I figured you'd say that, which is why I made it a tank top. 94 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,975 Okay, you know what? Fine. 95 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,478 I'll go. 96 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,021 But if Dr. Richards wasn't already dead, 97 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:51,397 this would've killed him. 98 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:55,985 Hey, here you go, bro. 99 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,988 (laughs) 100 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,988 Oh, man, it doesn't get any better than this. 101 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,324 Two grown men, making it on our own, 102 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,701 living our independent lives. 103 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,496 Marty, we live 60 feet from Mom and Pop's house. 104 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,331 Exactly. 105 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,249 It's far enough away to be independent 106 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,210 but close enough to steal their Wi-Fi. 107 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,419 (knocking on door) 108 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,712 See? Okay. 109 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,712 I see. Yeah. 110 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,339 Yo. 111 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,049 Hey, little man. 112 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,049 MARTY: Hey. 113 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,509 What's up? Come on in. 114 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,427 We're having career day at my school. 115 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:25,390 Since my dad came last year and my mom's the principal, 116 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:28,851 and you have such an awesome job at JPL, I thought I'd ask you. 117 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,688 Well, your friendly neighborhood rocket scientist 118 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,357 gladly accepts your invitation. 119 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,943 Oh, I was actually talking to Malcolm. 120 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,529 (laughs) 121 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,529 What? 122 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,281 But Malcolm's just a security guard. 123 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:44,033 Uh, yeah, a security guard who just watched you 124 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,327 blow up on takeoff. 125 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,327 What...? 126 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,038 Yeah, but that, that makes no sense. 127 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,456 Why would you want him instead of me? 128 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,001 Because security guards are cool. 129 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,920 They've got uniforms and handcuffs, 130 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,381 and he takes down bad guys, right? 131 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,383 Well, you know, uh, 132 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,885 I do what I got to do. 133 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,596 Yeah, and what you got to do is check I.D.'s 134 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,140 and let the pizza guy up the elevator. 135 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,600 (chuckles) And just for that, from now on, 136 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,729 the only lunch I'm letting up is salad. 137 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,729 (gasps) 138 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,440 Whoa, guys, I didn't mean to start a fight. 139 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,608 Look, Marty, if you want to, you can come, too. 140 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,901 Yes! (laughs) 141 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,653 I'm gonna get started right now. 142 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,656 You guys are gonna see just how fun math and science can be! 143 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,825 Great. 144 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,872 If he gets too boring, you do what you got to do. 145 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,337 Well, I hope he has better news for me than he had for you. 146 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,758 Okay, Mr. Butler, 147 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,802 I have the results from your physical, and... 148 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,262 You know what? I'm fine. 149 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,347 I don't care what your stupid test says. 150 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,683 Actually, they say you're in amazing health. 151 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,312 Oh, well, tests don't lie. 152 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,815 I told you he's a good doctor. You should've listened to him. 153 00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,777 Your cholesterol is good, your blood pressure is low-- 154 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,445 all your numbers look great. 155 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,155 Huh. Terrific. 156 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,282 Now all we've got to do is schedule your colonoscopy. 157 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,618 Uh, say what, now? 158 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,162 Your colonoscopy? When it comes to colon cancer, 159 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,122 early detection can save your life. 160 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,458 It's standard procedure for anyone over 45. 161 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,502 Well, great, so there's no rush. 162 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,337 I plan on being over 45 163 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,465 the rest of my life. 164 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,510 Look, I know the idea makes a lot of men uncomfortable, 165 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,845 but trust me, it's not a big deal. 166 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,056 First, you'll be put to sleep. 167 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:34,435 Then we insert a small camera into the rectum. 168 00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:36,896 From there, it travels 169 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,689 through your large intestine, 170 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,483 then it zigs and it zags 171 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,653 deeper and deeper all the way 172 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,655 up here into your small intestine, 173 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,240 taking pictures along the way. 174 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,201 Then we just reel it back in, and... 175 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:52,703 (pops) ...out pops the camera. 176 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,832 Well, that all sounds delightful, 177 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,084 but, um... (pops) 178 00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,669 that's a hard pass. 179 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,006 (sighs) Hey, man. 180 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,716 Oh, hey, Malcolm. 181 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,718 Whoa, what is under there? 182 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,178 Uh, Marty? 183 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,847 If it's another Lego Death Star, 184 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,849 you don't need to hide it from me, man. 185 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,976 I already know you're a dork. 186 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:18,187 For your information, that was not the Death Star. 187 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,772 That was the planet Tatooine. 188 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,607 Okay? So who's the dork now? 189 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,860 Right, okay, so, uh, 190 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,361 what is it? 191 00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:27,029 Uh, just a little something to ensure 192 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,531 that I win career day. 193 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,032 "Win career day"? 194 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,032 Mm-hmm. 195 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,868 I didn't realize it was a competition. 196 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,245 Oh, it won't be, because I have this. 197 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,541 Marty, I don't want to know 198 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,376 what you do with that robot hand, 199 00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,378 and I'm sure the kids won't, either. 200 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,630 Malcolm, meet Elliot, 201 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,591 a fully articulated bionic limb designed to make 202 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,218 exterior repairs to the International Space Station. 203 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,095 He also gives pretty sweet fist bumps. 204 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,056 (exhales sharply, laughs) 205 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,726 (laughs) All right. 206 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,895 That is pretty impressive. 207 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,895 I know, right? 208 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,647 Yeah, but I'm not worried about it, because I have this. 209 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,065 A stun gun? 210 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,276 Please. Elliot can crush steel 211 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,987 and survive temperatures down to 500 degrees below zero. 212 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,822 How can a stun gun compete? 213 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,115 Maybe like this. 214 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:15,161 (shouts) Malcolm, are you crazy? 215 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,205 Do you know how long this is gonna take me to fix? 216 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,831 Hopefully not too long, because I would love 217 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,917 to do that again in front of the kids. 218 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,211 (laughs) 219 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,344 Oh, hey, babe. 220 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,305 So, what did the doctor say? 221 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,599 Exactly what I told you he would. 222 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,768 I'm in perfect health. 223 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,603 You know, I hate to say it, but, uh, 224 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,272 I think I'm gonna outlive this one, too. 225 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,191 Well, that is such a relief. 226 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,817 Did he say anything else? 227 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,154 Uh, no, uh, not that I recall. 228 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,490 I am so happy to hear that. 229 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,283 You know what? And to celebrate, 230 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,619 I've got something very special planned for you. 231 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,663 Okay. Uh, what's that? 232 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,873 I scheduled your colonoscopy. 233 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,168 Uh, s-say what, now? 234 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,754 The doctor's office called. 235 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,130 How could you leave there 236 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,799 without scheduling an appointment? 237 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,467 Come on, Tina. The doctor said I was healthy. 238 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,885 Isn't that good enough? 239 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,845 No, Calvin, that is not good enough. 240 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,722 You know, I looked it up online. 241 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:21,477 Do you know that one in every 48 men will get colon cancer? 242 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,813 And that number is even worse for Black men. 243 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,898 Well, you know what's worse for this Black man? 244 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,360 Is having someone turn my ass into a photo booth. 245 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,906 Calvin, this is nonnegotiable. 246 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,908 You're too important to me. 247 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,203 So here. 248 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,415 What's that? 249 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:43,874 It's your dinner for tonight. 250 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,835 It's a stimulant laxative that will 251 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,503 flush out your system. 252 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:48,963 Come on, Tina. Quit playing. 253 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,548 I don't want that stuff inside my body. 254 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,258 Oh, don't worry, baby. 255 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,260 It won't be for long. 256 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,269 Morning, babe. How you feeling? 257 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,438 Terrible. That laxative had me running 258 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,440 to the bathroom all night. 259 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,608 Aw, poor baby. I would hug you, 260 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,528 but squeezing you right now might not be a good idea. 261 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:16,032 Don't worry, Tina. There's nothing left. 262 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,826 I haven't felt this empty since N.W.A broke up. 263 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,580 W-Well, wait. What are you doing sitting down? 264 00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,290 You got to go get dressed for your appointment. 265 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,418 You know, I was thinking about rescheduling. 266 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,504 We got a big shipment coming into the shop today. 267 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,049 Calvin, it's a box of air fresheners. 268 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,718 I know. I just need to be there 269 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,553 to make sure Hector doesn't steal 'em 270 00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:39,305 like he does the paper towels. 271 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,224 Calvin, I can take care of the shop. 272 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,143 (knock on door) 273 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:47,229 Oh, hold on. If you're at the shop 274 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,106 and the doctor says I can't drive myself, 275 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,399 who's taking me? 276 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,486 Oh, hey, buddy. Ready to go? 277 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:58,407 Seriously? Dave's taking me to my colonoscopy? 278 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,077 Why not? You always said he was a pain in the ass. 279 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,788 Just think of him as the pregame warm-up. 280 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,460 Hey, Gemma. 281 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,045 Hey, Malcolm. Where's Marty? 282 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,923 I thought he was coming, too. 283 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,923 Uh, I don't know. 284 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,591 Maybe we should check the lockers. 285 00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,344 He has a long history of getting stuffed in 'em. 286 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,431 Okay, class, let's get started. 287 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,934 I just stopped by because Grover's special guest 288 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,853 for career day is a close friend of mine. 289 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:32,400 In fact, he's so close, he's actually my neighbor! 290 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,738 Okay, take it away, Grover. 291 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,908 I told her that wouldn't work. 292 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:48,582 My career day guest has the coolest job ever. 293 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,420 I don't want to brag, but he's pretty much a superhero, 294 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,965 and his name is Malcolm Butler! 295 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,967 Well, thank you, G-man. 296 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,428 I don't know if I would say superhero, but then again, 297 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,222 that's exactly what a superhero would say. 298 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,807 (chuckles) 299 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,809 Now, as a security guard, 300 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,894 my job is to keep people safe. 301 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,646 Which is why I always make sure... 302 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:14,483 (loud fanfare playing) 303 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,361 ♪ ♪ 304 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,834 What's up, tiny Earthlings? 305 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:32,960 Are you kidding me? 306 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,588 This is so cool. 307 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,381 Guys, this is Marty. 308 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:42,011 He's, uh, uh, what's-his-name's brother. 309 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,263 Sorry I'm late, guys. It was hard to find parking... 310 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,849 for my spaceship. Oh! 311 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:52,688 Okay, it's in that parking lot up there. 312 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:52,688 Okay. 313 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:55,691 You know, I'm really glad you decided to do this. 314 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:57,443 After all, the healthier you are, 315 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,195 the longer we get to be friends. 316 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,614 Yeah. You know, I thought about that, too, 317 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,533 and then I decided to do it anyway. 318 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,536 Good, we're here, so pull in that space. 319 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,872 Okay. 320 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,250 Wait a second, uh... 321 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,960 I don't see a doctor's office. 322 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,421 All I see is a Dave & Buster's. 323 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,423 Because that's where we're going, Dave. 324 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,884 Happy friendiversary. 325 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:27,389 Okay, Calvin, we are supposed to be going to your colonoscopy, 326 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,892 not combining all the innocent fun of childhood 327 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,977 with the alcoholic fun of adulthood. 328 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,272 I know, I know, but a colonoscopy, 329 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,732 that's just about me. 330 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,902 A friendiversary is about us. 331 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,488 (sighs heavily) 332 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,950 You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words. 333 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,537 But no, Calvin, I won't do it. 334 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,996 Your health is too important. 335 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,373 Oh, come on. 336 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,583 What could possibly be more important 337 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:58,587 than spending a full day of uninterrupted fun with your... 338 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,258 ...BFF? 339 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,762 That is a dirty trick, Calvin. 340 00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,430 And what's worse is you didn't tell me 341 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,140 so I could have worn mine. 342 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,185 Come on, Dave, so what's it gonna be? 343 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,853 We gonna do this or what? 344 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,482 Calvin, I don't know. 345 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,776 All right, okay, how about this? 346 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:23,279 We play one game of Skee-Ball. 347 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:27,116 If you win, I go ahead and get my colonoscopy. 348 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:31,662 If I win, you treat my recently evacuated colon 349 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,497 to hot wings and beer. 350 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,500 Okay, you know what, fine. 351 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,503 If that's the only way that I can make you do it, then I'm in. 352 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,463 Great. Come on, let's go. 353 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,425 But FYI, that shirt would look a lot cooler as a tank top. 354 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,974 Hey. 355 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,974 Well, there he is. 356 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:55,436 The world's first jackass-tronaut. 357 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,479 Hey, don't be mad at me. 358 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,065 It's not my fault the kids voted to have a mural of me 359 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,984 painted on the handball court. 360 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,320 Well, congratulations, Marty. 361 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,323 You officially won career day and made me look like a chump. 362 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,241 Oh, come on, man, that's not what I meant to do. 363 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,868 Well, what did you mean to do? 364 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,745 Malcolm, ever since we were kids, 365 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,331 you were always the cool one, but I was the nerd. 366 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,082 The geek. The... 367 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,084 whatever else Dad used to call me. 368 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,004 Oh, you mean like poindexter 369 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:23,839 and brainiac. 370 00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:27,217 My favorite was dork chocolate. 371 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,428 It's hard to forget that one 372 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,138 when he wrote it on my birthday cake. 373 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,391 I mean, I know it might sound dumb, 374 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,561 but I was really excited to go back to school for a day 375 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,521 and be the cool guy I never was. 376 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,856 Oh, come on, man, you were cool. 377 00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,024 Oh, yeah, right. 378 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,734 No, I'm serious, Marty. 379 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:46,195 I mean, I'm a really confident dude, 380 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,280 but I think I would have felt ridiculous 381 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,408 walking into that classroom in a damn space suit. 382 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,369 But not you. 383 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,870 You owned it. 384 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,705 And if owning who you are is not cool, 385 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,416 then, little brother, I don't know what is. 386 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,877 It was pretty cool, right? 387 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,877 Yeah. 388 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,212 And the lunch lady even gave me her phone number. 389 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,588 (both laugh) 390 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,840 You see, man, you should keep that suit. 391 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,550 A lunch lady today, 392 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,761 maybe someone under 60 tomorrow. 393 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,556 I wish I could keep it. 394 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,766 Too bad it's a top secret prototype 395 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,309 worth a million dollars. 396 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,937 What? You snuck a million-dollar space suit 397 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,730 out of a high-security facility 398 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,107 to impress a bunch of fourth-graders? 399 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,733 Are you crazy?! 400 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,235 I don't know, but I'll tell you what's crazier. 401 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,736 You're gonna help me sneak it back in. 402 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,738 (laughs): Uh-uh. 403 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,574 There's no way, man. Why would I risk my job to do that? 404 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,410 Well, because I snuck it out on your watch. 405 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,788 Grab the suit. Let's go. 406 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,788 Okay. 407 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,755 (bell rings) 408 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,755 Yes! 409 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,466 Another 30. You are definitely getting your colonoscopy today. 410 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,636 This isn't fair. 411 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,304 You didn't tell me you were great at Skee-Ball. 412 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,973 That's right. Because if I did, 413 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,516 you might have picked Whac-A-Mole. 414 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,268 It just makes me feel weird 415 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,604 smashing those cute little guys over the head. 416 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,441 Well, I can still win this thing 417 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,317 if I get that hundred in the corner. 418 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,944 Please, Calvin, nobody ever hits those. 419 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,446 You might as well give up now. 420 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,613 Uh-uh. 421 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,615 If I get this ball in that hole, 422 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,034 that means no one's getting near mine. 423 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,955 ♪ ♪ 424 00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,263 (bell rings) 425 00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,263 Oh! 426 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,599 (laughing) 427 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:43,145 How the hell'd you do that? 428 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,897 Well, let's just say I was 429 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,191 literally fighting to save my ass. 430 00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:55,365 Okay, you know what, Calvin, fine, you win. 431 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,035 But I don't... I don't get it. 432 00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:00,245 You know, you are one of the toughest guys I know. 433 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,081 How are you this afraid of a minor medical procedure? 434 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,168 It's not the procedure I'm afraid of, Dave. 435 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,338 Okay, well, then what is it? 436 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,340 What if they find something? All right? 437 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,091 I just got a clean bill of health. 438 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,760 I want to quit while I'm ahead. 439 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,679 Okay, Calvin, what does that even mean? 440 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,891 It means if I'm sick, I don't want to know. 441 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:24,061 Look, Tina said that one out of 48 men 442 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,854 get colon cancer. 443 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,190 What if I'm number 48? 444 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,860 But not knowing doesn't keep you from being sick. 445 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,114 It keeps you from being able to do anything about it. 446 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,575 Look, I know this doesn't make any sense, 447 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:42,454 but this disease is even worse for Black men, 448 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:47,209 and... I just can't think of the possibility 449 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,294 of not being there for my family. 450 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,922 Yeah, but isn't family the whole point? 451 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,049 I mean, how would... how would you feel 452 00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:57,135 if Tina or the boys were in your situation? 453 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,846 Wouldn't you want them to know the truth 454 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,639 so if there was some sort of bad news 455 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,391 they could do something about it? 456 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,059 Of course I would. 457 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,769 Well, then don't you think you owe it to them 458 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,271 to do the same? 459 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:12,901 Come on, Calvin, you know I'm right. 460 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,989 Fine. Let's go. 461 00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,074 Great. 462 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:23,495 But before we do, I want you to know something, Dave. 463 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:28,876 You are my BFF. 464 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,587 Thank you. 465 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,299 You know, with you wearing that shirt, 466 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,092 well, it'll kind of be like, 467 00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,927 you know, we're in that room together. 468 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,513 And you took it too far! 469 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,772 Smells good, babe. What are we having? 470 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,609 Well, in honor of the good news about your colonoscopy, 471 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,361 I thought we'd celebrate with rump roast. 472 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,989 (laughter) 473 00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,491 Very funny. Go ahead. 474 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,285 Get it out of your system. 475 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,954 After that orange laxative, I know I did. 476 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,790 Well, seriously, Pop, 477 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,792 I'm really glad that you went through with it. 478 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,628 Yeah, Dad, we're proud of you, man. 479 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,463 I mean, I would have preferred you showed us the pictures 480 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,548 after dinner, but still. 481 00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,470 Well, what's important is now we know that you're gonna 482 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,096 be with us a long time. 483 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,807 Yeah. And pretty soon, we'll know the same about you. 484 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,351 Ah. What do you mean? 485 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,227 Well, I talked to your doctor today 486 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,813 and scheduled your colonoscopy. 487 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,316 Say what, now? 488 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:38,487 Babe, it's just as important that women get them, too. 489 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:41,573 So, here you go. 490 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,035 (pops) 491 00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,578 Enjoy your dinner. 492 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,336 Colon cancer is 90% treatable if detected early. 493 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,381 Go to StandUpToCancer.org/ColonCancer 494 00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,216 for information on which screening test 495 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,634 may be right for you. 496 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:07,057 Captioning sponsored by CBS 497 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:10,060 and TOYOTA. 498 00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,812 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 499 00:21:11,862 --> 00:21:16,412 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35970

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