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1
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" For he himself has said it"
2
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:12,160
" And it's greatly to his credit"
3
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:17,640
" That he is an Englishman"
4
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,240
" That he is an Englishman"
5
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:27,280
" For he might have been a Roosian"
6
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,360
" A French, or Turk, or Proosian"
7
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,520
" Or perhaps Itali-an!"
8
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:40,040
" Or perhaps Itali-an!"
9
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:45,000
" But in spite of all temptations"
10
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,160
" To belong to other nations"
11
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" He remains an Englishman!"
12
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" He remains an Eng`Eng-Eng-Eng
13
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" Englishman! "
14
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,600
Oh!
15
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,520
Watford 0-5-7-9.
16
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,560
Hello, Ross.
17
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,640
Nothing much. You?
18
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,760
What time?
19
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,600
OK, I'll see you there.
20
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,640
Right, cheers.
21
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,960
Oh!
22
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,600
Oh!
23
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,680
Oh, shit.
24
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,160
Because he gets up in the morning
25
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,760
And he goes to work at nine
26
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,760
And he comes back
home at five-thirty
27
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,480
Gets the same train every time
28
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,920
And he's, oh, so healthy
29
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,680
In his body and his mind.
30
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,240
He's a well-respected
man about town
31
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:27,320
? Doing the best things
so conservatively ?
32
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:31,660
"A Well Respected Man"
- The Kinks
33
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:43,340
There he is, the late Mr Sloane.
Where have you been, son?
34
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:47,300
Sorry, I got hung up
on a broken pipe.
35
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:49,540
What's with the plaster
on your head?
36
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:53,340
Were you getting roughed up by
some wild tart when I rang? Who?
37
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:56,300
No, I banged it on a cupboard.
Silly, isn't it? Oh, yeah?
38
00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:59,940
That same cupboard that
gave you that love bite you're trying to hide under your shirt?
39
00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:04,540
Oi, oi! It's not a love bite. It's
a shaving rash. Oh, is it? Right.
40
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:07,620
Here you go, mate.
This pint's yours.
41
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:11,180
Ooh! Thanks, Beans, but
42
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:14,180
I think I'm just going to have
a half tonight, actually.
43
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:17,420
"Hi Ho Silver Lining"
- Jeff Beck
44
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,340
Sloaney, what's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
45
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:22,180
Just trying to cut back a bit,
that's all.
46
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:28,980
Oh, you had us
going there, mate. Good one.
47
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:32,660
There'll be no cutting back
on anything. We've got a double celebration on our hands.
48
00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:35,940
Oh, Reg, Reg, Reg, Reg.
Don't be daft, he won't mind.
49
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:39,260
I won't mind what?
Our mate, Mr Ross Baynard here,
50
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:42,300
after nine years hard labour
at Lynch and Saunders...
51
00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,540
Which I owe all to Sloaney.
Cheers to that.
52
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:49,180
Anyway, our mate has now received
a well-earned promotion to...
53
00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:53,580
What is it again, Ross?
Supervising Accounts Manager.
54
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:57,420
Supervising Accounts Manager,
whatever that means.
55
00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:01,020
Wow! That's really great.
56
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:04,700
Listen, Sloaney,
I hope this isn't awkward for you.
57
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:06,740
No. Why would it be?
Well, you know,
58
00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:09,460
I know this was the
promotion that you were up for
59
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,500
before you, you know...
60
00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:14,340
Um, look, it's not
like I was vying for it.
61
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,500
It's brilliant.
62
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:19,820
You know, it's like keeping it
in the family. Yeah.
63
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:25,060
Cheers, well done. Cheers.
Cheers, thanks, Sloaney. Well done.
64
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:32,060
Daddy, I'm tired
and I have school tomorrow.
65
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:35,860
Oh, yeah, sorry, son.
OK, let daddy get his car keys.
66
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,620
All right, Brian?
Hey, Brian. Hi, fellas.
67
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:42,300
There you go, son.
Wait in the car for daddy.
68
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,380
I'll just be another
hour or so, OK.
69
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,060
Oh, and if you get cold,
the dog blanket is in the boot.
70
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,220
I know.
71
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:52,860
See you, Brian.
See you, Brian.
72
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:56,140
It's great being a dad. Mm, what
was the second piece of news?
73
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:59,940
Oh, yeah, Reggie's getting married.
Huh?
74
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:03,340
I said, Reggie is getting married.
Oh yeah, right.
75
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:07,580
Julie and I are getting married.
Well, that is a surprise.
76
00:05:07,660 --> 00:05:10,940
I know. I know I said
I'd never get married again
77
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:14,900
after Nancy but I still feel about
Julie the same as the day I met her.
78
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,980
Well, it's been what two weeks?
Almost three. Almost three.
79
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:21,500
I'm sorry, my mistake. At least I've
been having fun since being single,
80
00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:23,860
not always whingeing on
like some people. You.
81
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:27,380
I'm not single. Merely separated.
When Janet sorts herself out,
82
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,420
we'll be back better than ever.
83
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:34,300
Do you really think Janet's going
to turn up at your front door after all this time? Yeah, well, why not?
84
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:38,260
She's only just gone to find herself.
Find herself. Yeah, yeah.
85
00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:42,260
Still don't know what that means.
Sloane and I are the lucky ones, right, Sloaney? Mm.
86
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:45,980
We got our freedom. We don't
have to answer to nobody. Beans!
87
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:50,820
Your mum wants you home. I'm off.
Hang on, Beans. I've got a toast.
88
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:55,580
This is an auspicious time for us.
89
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:58,540
New jobs, new wives, a new decade.
90
00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:04,220
The 1970s will soon be upon us and
our youth will soon be behind us.
91
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:09,340
So let's enjoy it while we can
but let's do it together.
92
00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:13,460
Together. Together.
Together, cheers. Cheers.
93
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,580
Right, I'm off. See you later.
94
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,340
Mm.
95
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,300
Waste not want not.
96
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:55,780
"Do you know why policemen were
originally called Peelers?"
97
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:59,300
" The Stripper""
98
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,620
" God Save The Queen"
99
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,020
Long live our no...
100
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:52,900
? ..ble queen
God save Queen ?
101
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,940
Ohhhh!
102
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,220
Huh!
103
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:49,460
Would you like to sit down?
104
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:53,100
Oh, no, thank you, that's very kind.
I'm getting off at the next stop.
105
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:56,340
Hmm. When's it due?
106
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,860
Excuse me?
Your little arrival.
107
00:08:58,940 --> 00:09:01,380
When's it due?
I'm not...
108
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:05,820
Nothing is due. I'm prone to bloat.
And you are very rude!
109
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,140
I beg your pardon.
Please mind your own business.
110
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:15,060
Well done.
111
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:19,460
Thank you for the show of support.
112
00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:21,500
It was like a car crash
happening in slow motion.
113
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,620
I was powerless to stop it.
114
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,580
I can tell by your solemn demeanour
that you regret not coming to my aid.
115
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:31,020
I think the rule of thumb is never
ask a woman if she's pregnant, even if her waters have just broken.
116
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,300
Yeah, sage advice.
I'd do well to remember that.
117
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,540
Spanner. All right,
I already said it was a mistake.
118
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,620
Seven down.
"Wrench with fixed jaws."
119
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,660
Ah, yes.
120
00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:45,700
Thank you very much.
121
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:49,700
Though, to be honest,
I'm not really doing it properly.
122
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:51,740
I just like to sit
on public transport
123
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:54,220
filling in random words
so strangers think I'm clever.
124
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,860
It's obviously very effective.
125
00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:01,300
Um, I'm Jeremy, by the way.
126
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,500
Janet. Hello.
127
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:09,140
Well, this is where I get off,
said the actress to the bishop.
128
00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:12,980
I know. You know? I'm on this
train every morning, I see you.
129
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:16,940
I see. Well, likely, I'll see
you again then. We'll see.
130
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,900
Hmm. Have a good day.
131
00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:46,140
Huh!
132
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:53,220
Ha!
133
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,620
Good morning, Mr Sloane.
Good morning.
134
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,580
Good morning, Mr Sloane.
Good morning.
135
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,900
Good morning, Mr Sloane.
Good morning.
136
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:25,060
Good morning.
Good morning, tosser.
137
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,540
That's Mr Tosser to you,
dear minion.
138
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,260
Sorry, no disrespect intended.
Good morning, Mr Tosser.
139
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,500
That's better.
You're here awfully early.
140
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:35,500
Your greyhound's not running today?
141
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:38,540
I wanted to finish the Kenton
profit and loss, on your desk.
142
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,460
Wow!
143
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:45,020
Yes. Yeah, very fast.
144
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:48,940
- You didn't hire me just because I was good looking, did you?
- Not just, no.
145
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:52,100
Morning, boys. Morning.
Morning, Mr Saunders.
146
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:54,660
How's the new chap working out?
147
00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:58,220
Ah, well I'm afraid
we may have to let him go, sir.
148
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,940
He's a little too
ambitious for my blood.
149
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,220
Well, that's good enough for me.
Baynard, you're sacked.
150
00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:11,580
Everything else all right?
Yes. I'd say more than all right.
151
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:15,020
Ooh, well that sounds intriguing.
Care to extrapolate?
152
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:18,740
Actually, something happened
to me on the Tube this morning.
153
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,860
Well, go on, son.
154
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,740
I think I met a girl.
155
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:26,180
Sloaney, that's brilliant.
156
00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:28,220
You think you met her,
or you think she's a girl?
157
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,460
Well, both, I hope.
Excellent news.
158
00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:34,700
I was starting to get worried
about you, Sloane. My advice?
159
00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:37,500
Marry her. Well, I might
have to ask her out first.
160
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:40,660
Ooh, it's a mere technicality.
Look, I know you, Sloane.
161
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,820
You're meant to be married.
You need regularity,
162
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:50,460
stability, predictability. Yeah,
this sounds like kismet to me.
163
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:52,980
Kismet.
I mean, look at Ethel and I.
164
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:56,620
We were perfectly happy for 20 years
165
00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,380
and then we met.
166
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:04,820
He always does it. Well, come along,
boys, time is money. Yes.
167
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:08,580
Yes, absolutely. Jeremy Sloane,
you old dog. What's her name?
168
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:14,420
Her name is Janet.
Janet. Look at us, Sloaney.
169
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,620
The gods are really
smiling down on us.
170
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:20,500
I'm finally employed,
me and Sandra have got baby Brian,
171
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:25,180
Reggie and Nancy are married,
Beans is looking to move out of his mum's house,
172
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:29,620
and now you and Janet. The '60s are
going to be our decade, my son.
173
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,660
I can feel it. Pub tonight?
174
00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:36,180
No, I'm trying to cut back. I think
this beer's keeping me weighty.
175
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,780
All right, fine.
What's a pint with friends?
176
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:46,060
I can cut back tomorrow.
That's more like it.
177
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:48,380
Hey, back to work, please.
All right, Mr Tosser.
178
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:17,420
What?
179
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,100
Oh!
180
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:31,820
Watford 0-5-7-9.
181
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:34,420
"Yes, is this Mr Jeremy Sloane?"
182
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:38,020
Speaking.
"Mr Sloane, this is Lucille Bates,"
183
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,020
"deputy head of St Paul's
Primary School in Harrow."
184
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:46,140
"Hello?"
Yes. Yes, I'm sorry.
185
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,180
"We received your CV
a few weeks ago."
186
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,580
"It so happens we have
a teacher absent today
187
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,620
and nobody available
to take her class."
188
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,060
"Would you possibly
be interested in filling in?"
189
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,420
Certainly. What time?
190
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,460
"School starts at 8:45."
191
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:03,300
"You should arrive at 8:30 to be
briefed by Headmaster Whitmore."
192
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,980
Right, lovely.
193
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,720
Rising early in the morning
194
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,560
We proceed to light the fire
195
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,880
Then our Majesty adorning
Hmm! Argh!
196
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,240
In its work-a-day attire
197
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,040
We embark without delay
198
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,600
On the duties of the day
199
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,360
Oh, philosophers may sing
of the troubles of a king
200
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,120
But of pleasures there are many
and of troubles there are none
201
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,800
And the culminating pleasure
that we treasure beyond measure
202
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:43,920
? Is the gratifying feeling
that our duty has been done ?
203
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,840
Oh, Mr Sloane?
Ah, shit.
204
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,760
Mr Sloane.
Hello, Mrs Wyndham.
205
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,720
Hello, Nigel.
You're up bright and early today.
206
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,760
Yes, first day of a new job.
So if you'll excuse me...
207
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:03,680
How exciting. What is it?
It is teaching, Mrs Wyndham.
208
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,440
Now if you'll excuse me. Sounds like
you were quite late home last night.
209
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,800
Yes, well, my book group are reading
War And Peace so we overran a little.
210
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:15,360
What's happened to your forehead?
I banged it on a church pew whilst genuflecting.
211
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,000
Now I really have to go, Mrs Wyndham.
212
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,680
Any word when Mrs Sloane will be
back from visiting her sick mother?
213
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,920
Any day now, any day. Well, I'm off.
214
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,600
Oh! I almost forgot.
215
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:32,480
This came for you yesterday,
all the way from America.
216
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,200
I signed for it since you weren't
here. Thank you, Mrs Wyndham.
217
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:41,120
It's from the Academy of the Mind.
Now what on earth could that be?
218
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:45,600
It's just... It's some foreign
language tapes I've been expecting.
219
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,920
What language are you studying?
220
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,520
Parlez-vous francais?
221
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,160
"Success Is Yours." Hm.
222
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:15,400
"Congratulations. By purchasing
the scientifically proven
223
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,480
Success Is Yours Programme,
you have already taken
224
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,960
the first step towards
realising all your goals."
225
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:26,440
"Let's start by repeating out loud
a series of positive messages
226
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,680
that will unlock
your full potential."
227
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,360
"Ready? Repeat after me."
228
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,200
"I know exactly where
I'm going in life."
229
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,280
Ah, shit! I just missed
my bloody turn. "Excellent."
230
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:44,880
"Let's try another. I will be
more open with my feelings."
231
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:49,040
I won't lie to you.
It's not easy. It is not easy.
232
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,200
It's one thing to get sacked
from your job of ten years.
233
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,120
It's another
to come home and find your wife
234
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,600
leaving you on the very same day.
235
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,960
She said she had to find herself,
whatever that means.
236
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,000
What does it mean?
237
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,640
I can't tell you how,
how rough it's been.
238
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,760
Just last night,
I considered ending it all.
239
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,080
Look at that.Look at it.
240
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,920
Hm? You looking?
You know what that is?
241
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,240
That's rope burn. Rope burn.
242
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,800
I'm not proud of it but there it is.
243
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,800
You smell like beer.
What? Really? Mr Sloane?
244
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,880
Yes.
Mr Whitmore will see you now.
245
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,720
Yes. You're a very good listener.
246
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,520
Sloane, is it?
Yes.
247
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,800
Yes. Jeremy Sloane.
248
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,920
With an "E", like Sloane Square.
249
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,160
Are you feeling all right? You look
a little green around the gills.
250
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,440
No, no, I'm fine, fine.
251
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,720
Just been up all night reading...
252
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,560
..reading the encyclopaedia.
I got to volume "S",
253
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,280
which is one of my favourites.
It's the big one.
254
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:11,920
Well, if today goes well,
we may need to keep you on until
255
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,480
we can find a permanent
replacement for Mrs Pitman.
256
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,600
Oh, was she sacked?
She's dead.
257
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,960
Sorry?
Her husband called this morning.
258
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,560
She never woke up.
Apparently, went in her sleep.
259
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,600
Oh, well,
that is good news, isn't it?
260
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,640
No, I mean the going in her sleep.
261
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:34,160
Not the death. The death is...
It's horrible, it's tragic. Yes.
262
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,480
And she was one of our
most popular teachers too.
263
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,840
Her pupils adored her.
Oh, and how have they taken the news?
264
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:46,400
Sorry to disturb you, Mr Whitmore,
but Mr Pitman is on the phone.
265
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,480
Ah, I'll need to take this.
266
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,160
Would you ask Mrs Bates to show
Mr Sloane to Mrs Pitman's class?
267
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,240
Sorry to cut this short.
Good luck today.
268
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,280
Thank you. My condolences to you.
269
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:02,800
And you may want to give the
encyclopaedia a miss tonight.
270
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,080
Yes, "T" can wait till the weekend.
271
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,520
Oh!
272
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,480
Oh! Cut.
273
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,360
Boys and girls, this is Mr Sloane.
274
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,360
He will be covering
for Mrs Pitman today.
275
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,320
Let us please welcome Mr
Sloane with a "Good morning".
276
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,160
Good morning, Mr Sloane.
277
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,160
Good morning, boys and girls.
Very good.
278
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,520
I expect you to treat Mr Sloane
279
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,320
with the same respect
that you would show Mrs Pitman.
280
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,840
I'll leave them in your good hands,
Mr Sloane. Thank you, Mrs Bates.
281
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:55,400
Well, as Mrs Bates
said, my name is Mr Sloane.
282
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,920
Let me make that easy
for you to remember.
283
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,400
Excuse me?
284
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,960
Who's the comedian?
I'm sorry, Mr Sloane.
285
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,120
I have a cold
and my nose is full of snot.
286
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,880
It's true, sir, he can't help it.
287
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,440
Fine. Well, if you need to blow
your nose, please use a tissue.
288
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,280
Don't disrupt the class.
Yes, Mr Sloane.
289
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,960
Right!
290
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,000
Disrespect will not be tolerated.
291
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,000
I understand you are all very upset
over the death of Mrs Pitman.
292
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:38,240
What? That's not
funny. That's a terrible joke.
293
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,640
It's not a joke.
Take it back and say you're sorry.
294
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,760
We love Mrs Pitman!
295
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,040
Ah!
296
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,960
Argh!
297
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,440
You, child!
Run and get the headmaster
298
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,720
or the deputy head,
any grown-up, quickly!
299
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,400
Oh, God!
300
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:22,860
Children,
take your seats immediately!
301
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:28,060
Good God!
302
00:22:29,460 --> 00:22:32,660
What happened? I merely mentioned
the death of Mrs Pitman.
303
00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:35,580
You did what?
Why on earth did you do that?
304
00:22:35,660 --> 00:22:37,820
I thought they had been told.
Heavens, no.
305
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:41,020
We were going to announce it at
a special assembly after lunch.
306
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,380
We've been working on a speech
to break the news gently.
307
00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:47,300
I could have sworn you told me they
knew. I said nothing of the kind.
308
00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:52,900
Children! That's enough now.
Take your seats.
309
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:55,900
We want him to go. He's a loony.
I'm not a loony.
310
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:59,980
Mr Sloane, you should wait in the
staff room until further notice.
311
00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:03,340
Yes, yes, I think that's probably
a good idea, headmaster.
312
00:23:07,660 --> 00:23:10,900
Sorry. I don't know where it is.
Mrs Bates will escort you.
313
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:16,180
Class, I want you in your seats.
314
00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:18,220
And that means all of you.
315
00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:20,260
Sorry. Sorry.
316
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:30,860
Sloane.
317
00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:40,020
Sloane. Like Sloane Square.
318
00:24:11,380 --> 00:24:13,380
Oh!
319
00:24:15,460 --> 00:24:18,220
"Woman".
320
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,260
Huh!
321
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,580
Penny for your thoughts, Mrs Sloane?
322
00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:46,020
Oh, no-one's
ever called me that before.
323
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:48,540
I should hope not.
324
00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:54,140
I was thinking how sweet it was of
Beans to bring his mother to the wedding. Yeah. Good old Beans.
325
00:24:54,220 --> 00:24:56,500
And I thought Ross
did a lovely speech.
326
00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:59,460
Did you really save his life
or was he speaking figuratively?
327
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:02,300
It's not like I dragged him
out of a burning building
328
00:25:02,380 --> 00:25:05,740
but when I got him the job, he owed a
lot of money to some very bad people.
329
00:25:05,820 --> 00:25:08,820
Oh, dear. I didn't know
the gambling was that bad.
330
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:12,740
Back then, yeah.
But enough about my friends.
331
00:25:12,820 --> 00:25:15,620
Tell me,
look down the road ahead of us.
332
00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:17,660
Do you see what I see?
333
00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:21,460
A lorry?
334
00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:25,060
Not a lorry. I'm talking
about our future together. Ah!
335
00:25:25,140 --> 00:25:28,060
What does it look like, sausage?
It looks beautiful.
336
00:25:28,140 --> 00:25:31,980
I see adventure.
I see travel to exotic places.
337
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:35,660
I see a life of art,
music, culture, romance.
338
00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:39,540
Candlelight dinners,
dancing on moonlit beaches.
339
00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:42,660
Oh, it sounds wonderful.
I love our future.
340
00:25:42,740 --> 00:25:46,380
You're not... You're not disappointed
by our honeymoon destination?
341
00:25:46,460 --> 00:25:49,980
No. No, not at all.
342
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:53,540
Never been to Southend.
Well, look, it's hardly the Med
343
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:56,980
but with the deposit on the house,
we just need to be frugal,
344
00:25:57,060 --> 00:25:59,020
just for a little bit.
345
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:01,100
Better to plan the future
than regret the past.
346
00:26:01,180 --> 00:26:03,700
And I promise,
once we get through this,
347
00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:07,140
you'll have a proper honeymoon
wherever you'd like to go.
348
00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:10,180
Oh, I don't care,
as long as we're together.
349
00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:13,260
I'm sure Southend is the
most beautiful place on earth.
350
00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:16,580
It's home to the world's
longest pleasure pier. Oh!
351
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:25,940
Mr Sloane?
352
00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:28,300
Dad?
Mr Sloane.
353
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:30,340
Aaah!
354
00:26:30,420 --> 00:26:33,260
Hello, wasn't sleeping, I was just...
355
00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:35,620
That's all right, Mr Sloane.
356
00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:38,580
We managed to cover Mrs Pitman's
class for the rest of the day.
357
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:40,740
You're free to go home
and get some rest.
358
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:43,020
Oh, right, yeah, if you're sure.
359
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:45,740
I don't mind sticking
around for a bit in case...
360
00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:49,420
Thank you, we'll manage.
You'll be paid for the full day.
361
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:52,260
Pfff! Money. I don't...
362
00:26:52,340 --> 00:26:55,100
All right, thank you.
363
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:58,380
Will you need me back tomorrow?
Not likely.
364
00:26:58,460 --> 00:27:00,300
We'll let you know if that changes.
365
00:27:01,860 --> 00:27:03,860
Right.
366
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:08,300
Here are my... Thank you.
367
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:14,140
I really do think
you told me they knew.
368
00:27:14,220 --> 00:27:17,100
I'm quite certain I did not.
369
00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:25,980
Cheers.
370
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,120
Ugh! "I enjoy the respect
and admiration of my peers."
371
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,640
What?
372
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,880
Where's the bloody button gone?
373
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,080
"I know what I want and I know how
to get it." Where's the button?
374
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,440
"I refuse to get upset
over the small things."
375
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,680
Shut up. Please, shut up.
376
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,120
"I am in control of my own destiny."
Aaarrghh.
377
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,840
"I am exceptionally
good at what I do."
378
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:06,000
Piss off. "People are envious
of my accomplishments."
379
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,520
Why don't you shove it up your arse?
Very good.
380
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:15,480
"Friends and strangers
alike enjoy my company." Shit.
381
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:20,120
Ah, Mr Sloane, how was your new job?
382
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,840
Excellent, Mrs Wyndham.
I got two pay rises on the first day.
383
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,240
Oh, how nice.
But aren't you home awfully early?
384
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,280
Well, they sent everyone home.
It seems there was a small outbreak of bubonic plague.
385
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:34,320
Oh, that's awful.
Yes, but then the canteen burnt down
386
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,720
and it seemed to put everything
right again. Well, that's good.
387
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:42,120
Isn't it just? Would you mind pulling
up a bit? You're on my hose.
388
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,920
I'm sorry?
Your tyre is on my hose.
389
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:51,880
OK.
390
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,080
Certainly, Mrs Wyndham.
I'll gladly get off your hose
391
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,120
and, perhaps, one day
you could get off mine.
392
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,360
"Women find me very attractive."
393
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:01,920
Pardon?
394
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,040
You heard me.
395
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,560
Janet.
396
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:30,200
Hello, Jeremy.
What's happened? Are you all right?
397
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,720
Jeremy, I'm so sorry.
I've made a terrible mistake.
398
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,560
I must have been mad to leave.
How can you ever forgive me?
399
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,800
It's all right, Janet. Come in.
400
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,200
I was so stupid.
401
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,840
I thought my life
was lacking something here,
402
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,080
so I had to leave you,
only to realise that everything
403
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,000
I was looking for was right
here in this house with you.
404
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,640
I'm so sorry.
It's all right, love.
405
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,360
The main thing is you're back now.
We can pick up where we left off.
406
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:07,640
Oh! I do love you, Jeremy.
I love you too, my darling.
407
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,680
Good Lord!
408
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,280
Oh!
409
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:17,640
Oh! Ugh!
410
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,600
Get off! Oh, Jeremy, it's just a dog.
Be a man for once.
411
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,520
Good God, help me! Someone help me.
412
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,280
Janet, help me.
413
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,120
Why are you laughing? Please help.
414
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,920
Why are you laughing?
415
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,720
Ugh!
416
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,840
Here's a pretty mess,
in a month or less
417
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,760
I must die without a wedding
418
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,440
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
witness my distress
419
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,120
Here's a pretty mess
here's a pretty mess
420
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,920
Here's a state of things
to her life she clings
421
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,120
Matrimonial devotion
doesn't seem to suit her notion
422
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,720
Burial it brings
423
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,200
Here's a state of things
424
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,000
Here's a how-de-do!
Here's a how-de-do! Here's a how-de-do!
425
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,680
For if what he says is true,
I cannot, cannot marry you
426
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,040
? Here's a pretty,
pretty state of things ?
427
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,960
Sorry, mate.
428
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,840
That's OK.
429
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,920
Ate a Fray Bentos this morning
that disagreed with me.
430
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,880
Mm. Mm-hm.
431
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,920
That's not a disagreement.
That's a bloody fight to the finish.
432
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,960
Good God almighty.
433
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,400
I just... I just want you to know,
for the record, that wasn't me.
434
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,280
What wasn't you?
435
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,920
The olfactory assault.
436
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:34,080
Oh! I'm getting over a cold.
I'm a bit blocked up anyway, so...
437
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,440
Oh, never mind.
438
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,040
You shouldn't be embarrassed.
I grew up with three brothers.
439
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,080
Right, right.
440
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,000
But I mean, seriously, it wasn't me.
441
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,760
If you say so.
It's not that I'm just saying so.
442
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:52,360
There was a man with long hair
and a straggly beard. The owner stepped away from the register.
443
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,400
Do you know where I'd find these?
444
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,640
Er, let me have a look.
Waste pipe, waste elbow.
445
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,920
Oh, dear God.
What? It just hit me.
446
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,360
That's what I was saying. The man
with the straggly... Excuse me. No.
447
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,600
Wait. Your, your note! Wait, wait.
448
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,960
You really should be
ashamed of yourself.
449
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,080
I swear it wasn't me. I know, I'm
kidding. I saw the guy you meant.
450
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,360
He should register himself
as a lethal bloody weapon.
451
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,240
Right, the military
could probably use him.
452
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,160
Phew! Hey, the waste pipes.
453
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,400
What size do you need? Oh, it's
on the paper. Oh, hang on. Yes.
454
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,160
Right. Waste pipe,
one and a half inch.
455
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:34,800
And four and a half inch waste elbow.
Is that right? Yes.
456
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,920
That's so great. Thank you so much.
457
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,080
It's my pleasure. You don't happen to
be a professional handyman, do you?
458
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:44,640
No, no, certainly not. Just handy
enough around my own house is all.
459
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,680
Oh, OK. Well, it was nice meeting
you. I'm Robin, by the way.
460
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,120
Hey, Robin. I'm Jeremy. Hi.
461
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,720
Good luck with your, um...
462
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,040
Oh, my plumbing, right.
It's just a leak under the sink.
463
00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:01,040
OK. Well, it was nice meeting you
considering the circumstances.
464
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,240
I was going to say, if we had kids
we'd have a funny about how we met.
465
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,720
Yeah.
466
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,400
Sorry. I was not being forward.
467
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,680
That was a joke. I'm American.
Oh, I gathered that.
468
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,960
I'm going to head off this way
to avoid the toxic cloud.
469
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,240
Good idea, me too.
470
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,720
OK.
471
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,800
Hi.
I was just thinking.
472
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,000
I could probably help you with your
sink if you, if you wanted me to.
473
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,960
That would be great.
You wouldn't mind? No, not at all.
474
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,120
Oh, you're so nice. Here, let me
just write down my number for you.
475
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,240
Your wife won't mind you running off
to some strange girl's apartment?
476
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,280
My wife?
Yeah.
477
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,760
Oh, no, it's fine.
478
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:25,600
Well, thanks. It's just a slow leak
but I think it's getting worse. OK.
479
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,080
Well, I could probably come round
tomorrow. That would be great.
480
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,400
When you know what time, give me a
call and I'll give you my address.
481
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,400
It's an apartment on Brunswick
Street. Yeah, I'll call you first.
482
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,520
Cool. Thanks, Jeremy.
483
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,880
Bye.
Bye.
484
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,080
"I will no longer be troubled
by my worries of yesterday."
485
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,800
What worries? I have no idea
what you're talking about.
486
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,960
"Tomorrow will be
an even better day than today."
487
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,280
You sure got that right, buddy.
488
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,160
Hee-hee!
489
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,760
"Major-General's Song"
- Gilbert and Sullivan
490
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,840
I am the very model
of a modern major-general
491
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,000
I've information vegetable,
animal and mineral
492
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,720
I know the kings of England
and I quote the facts historical
493
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,320
From Marathon to Waterloo
and all the categorical
494
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:25,320
? I am very well acquainted to... ?
495
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,120
Watford 0-5-7-9. Hello, Ross.
496
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,200
Nothing much. You?
497
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,240
What time?
498
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,640
All right, yeah, I'll see you then.
499
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:38,640
Right, cheers.
500
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,280
Hm-hm.
501
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,680
Have you and Julie set a date yet?
502
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,680
Yeah, probably February. And she's
got lots of friends, Sloaney.
503
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,200
Now weddings are a great place
to meet the ladies.
504
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,560
Yes, they are, except I'm not single.
505
00:36:55,640 --> 00:37:00,680
Yeah. You're just separated.
Would you think less of me if I put you straight on that? Don't worry.
506
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,560
I'm not sure I could think less of
you. Ross, you're a reasonable man.
507
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,760
Do you think Janet's ever
coming back? Short answer? No.
508
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,520
Long answer?
No-o-o-o-o-o-o.
509
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,800
See, that's why
I'll never get married.
510
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,560
I'm just going to find a woman who
hates me and then buy her a house.
511
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,200
You'll never marry because
you'd have to move out of your old bedroom. Yeah, that too.
512
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,600
Why did we just get crisps?
Where are the peanuts?
513
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:27,360
They didn't have any. Since when
does a pub run out of peanuts?
514
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:32,360
I don't know. Maybe they're out of
season. Peanuts have seasons? They grow in the ground, don't they?
515
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,080
Hang on. So by your account,
all nuts would be seasonal.
516
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,840
I reckon, yeah.
Cashews. Sure.
517
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,480
Hazelnuts. Why not?
Almonds. Pistachios.
518
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:44,040
Walnuts. Yes, yes, yes. So when
would walnut season be exactly?
519
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,520
Well, I don't know because I'm not
a bleeding walnut farmer, am I?
520
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:51,240
You're not a peanut farmer but you
seem to know about peanut season.
521
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,440
Where do nuts come from, anyway?
522
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,560
By definition, Brazil nuts
must come from Brazil.
523
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,400
No, I mean, do they grow on bushes?
No, trees, I think.
524
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,040
I think if there were peanut trees
one of us would have seen one.
525
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,160
I've never seen a plum tree
but I'm sure they exist.
526
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:06,160
I think they grow underground.
What, plum trees? Peanuts!
527
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:09,680
How do you know where to find them?
What? How would you find them if they're buried?
528
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,560
A carrot's got the leafy part above
ground so you know where to dig
529
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,080
but what sprouts out of a peanut
to flag its location?
530
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,360
A bloody peanut tree. Don't be daft.
You'd know it would be there because you would have planted it.
531
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,320
Planted it from what?
A peanut seed? Well, why not?
532
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,600
Because peanuts don't have seeds.
How do you know?
533
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,680
When's the last time you ate a
peanut and had to spit out seeds?
534
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,720
Wait a minute. I think the peanut is
a seed. No, that doesn't make sense.
535
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,280
Why would you plant a seed only
to grow the same seed over again?
536
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,440
You'd never get anywhere. Well,
coconuts definitely grow on trees.
537
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,760
A coconut is not actually a nut.
Course it is. It's got "nut" right in the title.
538
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,960
But it's not a proper nut.
They don't sell coconuts in a pub.
539
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,200
They might in Hawaii. I don't
think they have pubs in Hawaii.
540
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,400
Well, gentlemen,
this has been absolutely riveting
541
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,480
but I'm off. If I don't see you,
have a bloody great weekend.
542
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,520
If we don't see you, it will be
a bloody great weekend, won't it?
543
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,160
I hope you brought your brolly.
I think it might be spitting a bit.
544
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,720
Oh, you bugger.
545
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,400
Oh! Oh!
546
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,240
Oh! Ugh!
547
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,320
Hiya, Brian. Are you all right?
548
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,600
Good boy. Ugh! Ah!
549
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:19,640
Ugh!
550
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:22,040
Oh, shit.
551
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,400
Ya-ha-ha! Victory!
552
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,880
Oh! Ah!
553
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,280
Oh!
554
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,280
Ah-ha-ha! There you are.
555
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,680
Oh!
556
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,360
"No-one can make me
feel bad about my..."
557
00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:48,160
Save it for when I need it,
my friend.
558
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:54,600
What a difference a day makes
559
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:58,440
? 24 little hours... ?
560
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,720
Hello, is this Robin?
561
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,600
It's Jeremy Sloane. Yeah, we met
yesterday at the ironmongers.
562
00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:10,680
Why, thank you,
that is very flattering.
563
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,920
Now I wanted to know if you still
needed me to come over and, er,...
564
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,640
..lay a little pipe.
565
00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:23,200
"Oh-ho-ho!
You naughty little monkey. Huh!"
566
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:27,160
"What time is good for you?"
As soon as possible?
567
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:29,320
Huh. Let me just check my diary.
568
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:33,520
Yeah, yeah, I think
I can manage that.
569
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,640
Now tell me,
what's your exact address
570
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,680
because I've only
got your phone number.
571
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,760
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
572
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,040
Shit, shit, shit.
573
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,800
Oh shit! Ugh! Oh!
574
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,920
Oh!
575
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,800
"I enjoy living the good life."
576
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,840
Shut up!
577
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:25,800
She's American, five-foot two,
lovely chestnut-brown hair.
578
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,280
Hello, Jeremy.
Hello.
579
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,480
She's half your age.
She's nothing of the sort.
580
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:34,600
At least she won't associate you
with the fart in the shop any more.
581
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,520
Now she'll associate you with
a big shit in the toilet.
582
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,440
Hey, it's Sloane, right?
Yes. With an "E" at the end.
583
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:45,880
At least no-one died today,
eh, Mr Sloane? Not yet, anyway.
584
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,080
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
585
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,120
accessibility@bskyb.com
586
00:41:52,170 --> 00:41:56,720
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Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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