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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,726 HEY, FRED. IS THAT AS LOUD AS THAT TV'LL GO? I CAN'T HEAR NOTHIN'. 2 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:12,297 YOU WANNA MAKE IT LOUDER? DO LIKE THIS. 3 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:16,101 CAN'T YOU TURN THE SOUND UP? IT'S UP AS HIGH AS IT'LL GO NOW. 4 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:19,104 AND LOOK AT THAT PICTURE. THERE'S TWO HUMPHREY BOGARTS. 5 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,108 CAN'T YOU FIX IT? 6 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:26,512 THERE'S SOME KNOBS ON HERE WHERE YOU CAN FIX THE PICTURE AND THE SOUND. 7 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,780 TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I'LL FIX IT. 8 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,027 SEE THEM KNOBS BACK THERE AND ONE OF 'EM SAY “VOLUME CONTROL”? 9 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:33,318 - YEAH. - AND THERE'S TWO MORE... 10 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,854 “HORIZONTAL HOLD” AND “VERTICAL HOLD.” 11 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:40,425 AND DOWN BELOW, TWO KNOBS SAY “BRIGHTNESS” AND ONE SAYS “FINE TUNING.” 12 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,794 YEAH. FORGET ABOUT ALL OF THEM... 13 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,534 AND JUST HIT IT ON THE SIDE WITH YOUR FIST. 14 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,773 GO AHEAD AND HIT IT ONCE. 15 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,443 ONCE, MELVIN. YOU CAN'T FIX NOTHIN'. 16 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,413 NOW LOOK AT IT. 17 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:06,117 THERE'S FOUR HUMPHREY BOGARTS AND SIX LAUREN BACALLS. 18 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,320 THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A LOVE SCENE. 19 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,422 LOOK LIKE THEY PLAYING BASKETBALL. 20 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:16,228 SEE, NOW, WATCH ME. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST TAP IT. 21 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,601 WELL, I GUESS THIS SET'S HAD IT. 22 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:28,173 HEY, LISTEN, FRED. WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR SON TO BUY YOU A NEW TV? 23 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:33,144 HE SAID WE COULDN'T AFFORD IT. SAID OTHER THINGS CAME FIRST. LIKE WHAT? 24 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:36,615 LIKE IF HE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT WITH THE TRUCK, HE WOULD NEED ALL THE MONEY... 25 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,617 WHILE HE SPENT THAT TIME IN THE HOSPITAL. 26 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,531 YEAH, WHILE HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL, YOU HERE ALL ALONE WITHOUT A TV. 27 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:45,591 YEAH. WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM TO BUY YOU A SET? 28 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,126 YEAH. IN COLOR, WITH A BIG SCREEN. 29 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:52,364 AND THAT REMOTE CONTROL. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS MOVE YOUR THUMB. 30 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,933 NEVER GET UP OUT YOUR CHAIR. JUST USE YOUR THUMB. 31 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:58,103 YEAH. AND AFTER SITTING AROUND ALL EVENING DRINKING BEER, 32 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,706 THAT'LL BE ABOUT ALL YOU CAN LIFT IS YOUR THUMB. 33 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,211 I BETTER CLEAN UP THIS PLACE NOW BEFORE LAMONT GETS HOME. 34 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,319 HE'LL NEVER FIND 'EM. 35 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,156 HEY, FRED, YOU REMEMBER ARTHUR MATTHEWS? 36 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:23,161 THE FELLA WITH THE UGLY WIFE. RIGHT. SHE PUT THE “U” IN “UGLY.” 37 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,431 I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT NOBODY, 38 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,001 BUT SHE LOOKED LIKE THE PART OF THE POLAROID THAT YOU TEAR OFF. 39 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,911 BUT HERE'S THE THING. ARTHUR'S UGLY TOO. 40 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:43,482 THAT'S TRUE. BUT HIS SON GAVE THEM A BIG COLOR TV. 41 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,285 NOW THEY DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER ANYMORE. 42 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:50,489 I'M GONNA DO THAT. I'M GONNA TELL LAMONT I WANT ME A NEW TV. 43 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:54,159 RIGHT. ENJOY LIFE. AFTER ALL, HOW LONG YOU GONNA BE HERE? 44 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:57,028 WELL, MY LEASE AIN'T UP TILL AUGUST. 45 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,597 NO, NO. 46 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:03,268 I MEAN, ENJOY LIFE. ENJOY SOME OF THE THINGS THAT'S GONNA BE AROUND. 47 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:07,205 YOU'RE RIGHT, MELVIN. I'M GONNA COME RIGHT ON OUT AND SAY, “I WANT A NEW TV.” 48 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,675 HEY, MELVIN. HEY, POP. I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 49 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:13,512 I WANT A NEW TV. WHAT? 50 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,047 I WANT A NEW TV, AND I'M NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER. 51 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:20,585 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKING ABOUT A NEW TV. 52 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,287 WITH THE BIG SCREEN. 53 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,657 AND REMOTE CONTROL. 54 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,060 AND COLOR. 55 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:39,549 I ALREADY TOLD YOU, WE CAN'T AFFORD A NEW TELEVISION. 56 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,607 AND I'M NOT SPENDING MY HARD-EARNED MONEY SO YOU CAN SIT AROUND ALL DAY... 57 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,844 WITH YOUR BUDDY, WATCHING TV AND DRINKING BEER. 58 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,814 WELL, I GUESS I BETTER BE GOING. STAY, MELVIN. 59 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,794 YOU CAN'T BE THROWIN' MY FRIENDS OUT THE HOUSE. 60 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:54,486 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THROWING HIM OUT. MELVIN WAS LEAVING. LET HIM LEAVE. 61 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,266 GOOD-BYE, MELVIN. STAY, MELVIN. THIS IS MY HOUSE. 62 00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,892 I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TOO. SAY GOOD-BYE. YOUR FRIEND IS LEAVING. 63 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,429 DON'T MOVE, MELVIN. COME ON BACK IN HERE. 64 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,733 MELVIN, IF YOU WANNA GO, GO. STAY, MELVIN. 65 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,168 GO, MELVIN. NO, MELVIN. 66 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,171 YOU GUYS FIGURE IT OUT, AND I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 67 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,720 THAT'S A TERRIBLE WAY TO TREAT SOMEBODY... 68 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,755 WHO COME OVER TO SPEND THE EVENING WITH YOU. 69 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,812 YEAH, AND KEEP YOU AWAY FROM DOING YOUR WORK. 70 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,841 I DID MY WORK. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 71 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,917 WHAT DO I WANT YOU TO DO? 72 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,020 WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP OUTSIDE? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT JUNKYARD LOOKS LIKE? 73 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,022 A JUNKYARD. 74 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:36,094 JUST LOOK AT THIS HOUSE. IT'S A GOOD THING THERE'S A WALL OVER THERE... 75 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,297 OR I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE THE YARD ENDS AND THE HOUSE BEGINS. 76 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,344 THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE A HOME. 77 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:45,270 YOU EVER HEAR THAT SAYING? “IT TAKES A HEAP OF LIVING TO MAKE A HOME.” 78 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:50,241 WELL, YOU LOOK IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS HEAP, THERE'S NOT ONE DECENT TELEVISION. 79 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:54,279 I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I AM NOT BUYING NO NEW TELEVISION. 80 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:57,181 WHY NOT? WE CAN AFFORD IT. WE GOT MONEY SAVED. 81 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,863 BECAUSE I'M GONNA BUY SOMETHING THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT. 82 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,788 LIKE WHAT? STICK AROUND AND YOU'LL FIND OUT. 83 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:10,039 HELLO. GAIL? HOW YOU DOING? THIS IS LAMONT. 84 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,931 HEY, GUESS WHAT. I BOUGHT A CAR. 85 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,334 A WHAT? A CAR. A LITTLE CONVERTIBLE. 86 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,637 OH! 87 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,541 I KNEW YOU'D BE SURPRISED. OH, THIS IS A BAD ONE. 88 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,878 THIS IS THE WORST ONE I EVER HAD. 89 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:31,817 WOULD YOU MIND WAITING UNTIL I GET OFF THE PHONE BEFORE YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK? 90 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:35,587 HE BOUGHT A CAR. HE BOUGHT A NEW CAR. 91 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,790 LISTEN. IT'S NOT NEW. IT'S USED. BUT IT'S JUST AS GOOD AS NEW. 92 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,359 A CAR. WHAT DO WE NEED WITH A CAR? 93 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,628 SO ME AND YOU CAN GET AROUND, SUGAR. 94 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,431 LISTEN. YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST THINKING. 95 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,834 SATURDAY MORNING, MAYBE WE COULD GET TOGETHER... 96 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,836 AND PACK A LITTLE PICNIC BASKET... 97 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,839 AND RIDE UP THE COASTLINE A WAYS, WITH THE WIND IN OUR HAIR. 98 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,843 YOU WOULD? TERRIFIC. 99 00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:01,580 I'LL PICK YOU UP SATURDAY MORNING. CIAO, BABY. 100 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,115 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. 101 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:07,251 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D BUY A NEW CAR AND I NEED A NEW TV. 102 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,522 - YOU ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 103 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:14,693 - YOU'LL BE ABLE TO RIDE IN IT. - AND LET THE WIND BLOW THROUGH MY SCALP. 104 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,732 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU 'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY PAID FOR IT. 105 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,969 AND NOT ONLY THAT, I'M PICKING IT UP TOMORROW. 106 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,437 YOU SELFISH. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE. WHAT ABOUT ME? 107 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:30,642 POP, LET'S FACE IT. I'M GETTING A CAR BECAUSE I NEED A CAR. 108 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,711 I CAN'T CONTINUE TO TAKE OUT GIRLS IN THAT OLD BROKEN-DOWN TRUCK. 109 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,725 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TRUCK? 110 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,383 IF SHE WANTS HER HAIR TO BLOW IN THE WIND, 111 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,386 LET HER TAKE HER WIG OFF AND HOLD IT OUT THE WINDOW. 112 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,562 THERE'S NO USE. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND NOTHING. 113 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,398 DO YOU REALIZE THAT EVERYBODY HAS A CAR TODAY? 114 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,100 AND EVERYBODY HAS A COLOR TV. 115 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,970 ARTHUR MATTHEWS'S SON BOUGHT HIM A COLOR TV. 116 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,206 THAT'S A GOOD SON. GOOD AND KIND AND THOUGHTFUL. 117 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,577 POP, ARTHUR MATTHEWS'S SON IS A CROOK. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOURSELF. 118 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,712 HE'S A GAMBLER AND A HUSTLER AND A THIEF. 119 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,849 IF A BUM LIKE THAT CAN BUY HIS UGLY FATHER A TV, 120 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,619 WHY CAN'T YOU GET YOUR HANDSOME DAD ONE? 121 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:19,223 SO NOW I'M NOT EVEN AS GOOD AS ARTHUR MATTHEWS'S SON, HUH? 122 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,138 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD GO ON LIVING WITH SOMEBODY LIKE ME. 123 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,896 WELL, I AIN'T, I CAN'T, I'M NOT, AND I'M LEAVING. 124 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,166 WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER TO ARTHUR MATTHEWS'S HOUSE? 125 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,036 YOU CAN WATCH TELEVISION WITH HIM AND HIS UGLY WIFE. 126 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,605 BE LIKE A ROSE BETWEEN TWO THORNS. 127 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,906 I'D RATHER BE OVER THERE SITTING BETWEEN TWO 128 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:38,443 UGLY PEOPLE WATCHING TV THAN TO BE HERE WITH YOU. 129 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,312 - I'M LEAVING. - WELL, GO ON, ROSIE. 130 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,649 I'M LEAVING. 131 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:49,020 AND YOU KNOW THAT TRIP YOU MENTIONED ABOUT GOING UP THE COASTLINE? 132 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,823 WHEN YOU START OUT THERE, I HOPE YOU RUN OUT OF GAS... 133 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,292 ON A MOUNTAIN. 134 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,361 AND THE FILLING STATION IS TEN MILES AWAY... 135 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,564 UPHILL. 136 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:03,068 AND WHEN YOU GET THERE, I HOPE IT'S CLOSED. 137 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,573 THANKS A LOT. 138 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,077 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS TV. 139 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,579 I USED TO WATCH A WHOLE LOT OF GOOD SHOWS ON THIS SET. 140 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,581 JUST TURN IT ON. 141 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,864 HEY, POP, I GOT IT! 142 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,866 WHOO! 143 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:44,242 HEY, POP! HEY, POP, I WANT YOU TO SEE THE CAR. 144 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,912 IT'S A BLUE CONVERTIBLE. IT'S A STICK. IT'S GOT... 145 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,915 POP, COME OUT HERE AND SEE THE CAR. 146 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,419 HEY, POP. 147 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,967 HEY, SMITTY, OFFICER SWANHAUSER. WHAT'S UP? 148 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,969 WE HAVE SOME UNPLEASANT NEWS FOR YOU. WHAT? 149 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:04,195 THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO REMAIN CALM AND NOT GET TOO ALARMED AND PANICKED. 150 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,797 THAT WON'T HELP ANYTHING. 151 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,432 IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS, YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN CONTROL. 152 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,479 SO TAKE IT EASY. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 153 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,436 JUST TAKE IT EASY! 154 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,008 OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED? YOUR DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. 155 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:20,244 - WHAT? - I'LL HANDLE THIS. 156 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,673 YOUR DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. 157 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,927 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT HAPPENED? 158 00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,686 YOUR OLD MAN GOT PICKED UP WANDERING AROUND ZONKED. 159 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:31,422 - ZONKED? - IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL READ FROM THE OFFICIAL REPORT. 160 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:34,893 “UNIDENTIFIED MALE, BLACK, APPROXIMATELY 60 TO 65, 161 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,173 “LATER IDENTIFIED AS FRED SANFORD. 162 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,832 “PRELIMINARY MEDICAL REPORTS INDICATING EXHAUSTION AND OVEREXPOSURE... 163 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:44,202 “AFTER SUBJECT WAS DISCOVERED WANDERING AIMLESSLY IN DOWNTOWN AREA. 164 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:48,306 - WHERE'S HE AT NOW? - HE'S IN THE COUNTY GENERAL HOSP... 165 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,643 “THE SUBJECT, FRED SANFORD, WAS ADMITTED TO COUNTY GENERAL HOSPITAL, 166 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,691 WHERE HIS CONDITION WAS TERMED SATISFACTORY.” 167 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,859 - THEN HE'S ALL RIGHT. - YEAH. HE'S COOL. 168 00:11:56,883 --> 00:12:00,243 THE REPORT MAKES NO REFERENCE TO BODY TEMPERATURE. 169 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,037 I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE. 170 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,174 I NEVER REALIZED HE'D END UP IN A HOSPITAL. I GOTTA GET TO HIM. 171 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:14,232 HEY, SMITTY, WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL? 172 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:19,037 GET RIGHT ON THE HARBOR FREEWAY TO THE SAN BERNARDINO AND GET OFF AT MISSION. 173 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,933 HARBOR, SAN BERNARDINO, GET OFF AT MISSION. 174 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:21,450 - HOLD IT. 175 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,541 YOU'RE GOING TO COUNTY GENERAL HOSPITAL. 176 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,450 FASTEST WAY IS TO GET RIGHT ON THE HARBOR FREEWAY TO THE SAN BERNARDINO, 177 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,146 OFF AT MISSION. 178 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,519 AND REMEMBER, EASY NOW! 179 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,021 STAY COLD! 180 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,023 COOL. COOL! 181 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,801 IN HERE, PLEASE. 182 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,347 DOCTOR? - YES? 183 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,582 MR. SANFORD'S SON IS HERE. OH. 184 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,507 THANK YOU, NURSE. HOW'S HE DOING, DOCTOR? 185 00:12:56,576 --> 00:13:00,145 WELL, HE'S COMING ALONG. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM? 186 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,614 YOUR FATHER IS SUFFERING FROM LOSS OF MEMORY. AMNESIA. 187 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:13,925 AMNESIA? HE'S NEVER HAD ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE. HOW DID HE GET IT? 188 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,526 WE REALLY DON'T KNOW. 189 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,607 AMNESIA'S ONE OF THOSE MYSTERIOUS THINGS THAT CAN DEVELOP VERY QUICKLY. 190 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,331 HMM. 191 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,834 DOCTOR, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS, 192 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:26,537 BUT MY FATHER'S BEEN KNOWN TO PLAY SOME PRETTY STRANGE TRICKS ON ME. 193 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:30,975 IS IT POSSIBLE THAT HE COULD BE FAKING THIS WHOLE THING? ABSOLUTELY NOT. 194 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,455 HOW WOULD YOU EXPLAIN A MAN WALKING THE STREETS LIKE THAT ALL NIGHT? 195 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,519 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THIS IS YOUR CLASSIC AMNESIA. 196 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,484 THAT YOU, ARTHUR? 197 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:47,025 TURN ON YOUR SET AND LET'S WATCH SOME COLOR TV. 198 00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:49,027 THAT'S WHAT HE DOES EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. 199 00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,262 CALLS OUT FOR SOMEONE NAMED ARTHUR. THAT MEAN ANYTHING? 200 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,064 I'M AFRAID IT DOES. 201 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:57,268 IS THAT YOU, MELVIN? COME ON IN. LET'S WATCH SOME COLOR TV. 202 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:01,405 ARE... ARE YOU HIS SOLE SUPPORT? YES. 203 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,108 I WISH I HAD A COLOR TV. 204 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,878 MAYBE I'LL GET ONE WHERE I'M GOING. 205 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,747 YOU HEAR THAT, ELIZABETH? 206 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:13,284 DO THEY HAVE COLOR TV UP THERE? WHO'S ELIZABETH? 207 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,955 MY MOTHER. SHE'S DEAD. HE TALKS TO HER WHENEVER HE GETS UPSET. 208 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:20,458 UH-HUH. WELL, THERE'S YOUR STORY. AN OLD MAN ALONE AT HOME. 209 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,394 THE SON HAS TAKEN OVER AS HEAD OF THE FAMILY, REPLACED HIM. 210 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,064 HE FEELS UNLOVED, UNWANTED. 211 00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,432 HIS LIFE AT HOME HAS BECOME INTOLERABLE. 212 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:32,170 SO HIS UNCONSCIOUS MIND FINDS RELEASE BY BLOCKING OUT ALL MEMORY OF IT. 213 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,172 YOU'LL FIND THAT A CORRECT ANALYSIS. 214 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,708 ARE YOU THE PSYCHIATRIST? NO. I'M THE EAR, NOSE AND THROAT MAN. 215 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,515 BUT I KNOW AS MUCH AS THEY DO. 216 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,890 HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, ISN'T HE? THAT'S UP TO YOU. 217 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,792 HIS RECOVERY AND WELL-BEING IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU. YOU'RE ALL HE'S GOT. 218 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,228 YEAH. CAN I SEE HIM NOW, DOCTOR? 219 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,508 SURE. THAT'LL BE FINE. BUT TRY NOT TO UPSET HIM. OKAY. 220 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,833 MR. SANFORD, WE HAVE A VISITOR OUT HERE FOR YOU. 221 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,835 JUST A MINUTE. 222 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,822 OKAY, I'M READY NOW. SEND HIM IN. 223 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,825 REMEMBER WHAT I SAID. I KNOW. TRY NOT TO UPSET HIM. 224 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,454 RIGHT. OKAY. 225 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:44,575 HEY, POP. POP. 226 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:49,647 HI. WHO ARE YOU? 227 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,850 IT'S ME, POP. LAMONT. 228 00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:57,188 LAMONT WHO? LAMONT SANFORD. 229 00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,925 NEVER HEARD OF HIM. 230 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:08,199 LISTEN, POP. NOW, YOU'RE FRED SANFORD. 231 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,836 WHO'S HE? 232 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:15,173 THAT'S YOU, POP. 233 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,543 NEVER HEARD OF HIM. 234 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:24,282 LISTEN. NOW, YOU'RE FRED SANFORD, AND I'M LAMONT SANFORD. 235 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:28,586 AND WE LIVE TOGETHER AT 9114 SOUTH CENTRAL AVENUE. 236 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,889 WHERE'S THAT? THAT'S IN LOS ANGELES, POP. 237 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,692 LOS ANGELES. WHERE'S THAT? 238 00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,396 THAT'S IN CALIFORNIA, POP. 239 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:41,832 NEVER HEARD OF IT. 240 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:45,103 WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE ANYWAY. 241 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,171 YOU BEGINNING TO BOTHER ME. 242 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,572 HEY, NURSE! 243 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,619 NURSE, COME AND GET HIM OUT OF HERE! 244 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,576 WAIT A MINUTE, POP. LISTEN TO ME NOW. 245 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:56,747 TRY AND REMEMBER. YOU SEE, ME AND YOU, WE HAVE A BUSINESS TOGETHER. 246 00:16:56,816 --> 00:17:00,684 WE GOT A JUNKYARD AND WE GOT A HOUSE NEXT TO THAT. 247 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,654 AND WE GOT A RED PICKUP TRUCK. YEAH? 248 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:06,190 AND OUTSIDE THERE'S THIS BIG SIGN. 249 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,527 - WHAT DOES THE SIGN SAY? - THE SIGN SAYS, “SANFORD AND SON.” 250 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:13,998 NEVER HEARD OF 'EM. GET ON OUT OF HERE AND STOP BOTHERING ME. 251 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:17,335 HEY, NURSE! NURSE! NURSE! 252 00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,972 POP, DON'T YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING? 253 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:25,609 DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LITTLE ROOM WHERE WE HAVE OUR BREAKFAST... 254 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,656 AND OUR SUPPER AND WHERE WE TALK? 255 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,160 OUR LITTLE ROOM. YOU REMEMBER? 256 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,317 A ROOM. YEAH? 257 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,266 WITH A TABLE. THAT'S RIGHT. A TABLE. WHAT ELSE? 258 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,701 AND TWO CHAIRS. TWO CHAIRS. GO ON, POP. 259 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,604 - AND OVER IN THE CORNER... - YEAH? WHAT'S IN THE CORNER, POP? 260 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,562 A NEW COLOR TV. 261 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,770 NO? 262 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:56,207 NO COLOR TV? NO COLOR TV. 263 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,217 LISTEN TO ME, POP. AS SOON AS YOU'RE WELL ENOUGH, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT OF HERE. 264 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,219 I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME. 265 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,189 I DON'T WANNA LEAVE THIS PLACE. I LIKE IT HERE. 266 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:15,226 I'M GONNA TAKE REAL GOOD CARE OF YOU AT HOME. I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT OF HERE. 267 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:20,631 THAT'S NICE, SON. SON. YOU CALLED ME SON. THEN YOU REMEMBER WHO I AM. 268 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,801 YOU'RE FROM THE RED CROSS. 269 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,837 YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE CANDY BARS. 270 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,973 YOU GOT A BABY RUTH ON YOU? 271 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,876 YOU AIN'T GOT NO BABY RUTH ON YOU? 272 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,584 LISTEN, POP. 273 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:43,354 TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP, AND I'LL COME BACK IN HERE AND I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 274 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:47,558 BUT BEFORE I GO, I WANT YOU TO TAKE ONE MORE LOOK AT ME. 275 00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,176 NOW DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I THINK SO. 276 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,178 THAT'S GREAT. I'M NOT GONNA SAY NO MORE. 277 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:59,437 YOU JUST GET SOME REST AND I'LL COME BACK AND SEE YOU SOME OTHER TIME. 278 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,805 BYE, POP. BYE, MELVIN. 279 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,449 WELL, DID HE REMEMBER YOU? NO. 280 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,851 DOCTOR, HOW LONG IS HE GONNA BE LIKE THAT? 281 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,653 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY. 282 00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,356 WE HAD AN AMNESIA PATIENT HERE ONCE. WAS HERE FOR WEEKS. 283 00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,724 COULDN'T REMEMBER HIS NAME, HIS ADDRESS, NOTHING. 284 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,261 THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, ONE DAY... HE REMEMBERED? 285 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,263 NO, HE DIED. 286 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:31,835 BUT MY POP'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT? YES. HE'S A VERY HEALTHY MAN. 287 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,038 HE SLEEPS WELL, EATS WELL. 288 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:37,408 LAST NIGHT HE CHASED A NURSE OUT ONTO THE FIRE ESCAPE. 289 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,455 WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR DID YOU SAY YOU WERE? 290 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,412 EAR, NOSE AND THROAT. 291 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,716 HOW DO YOU TREAT A PATIENT THAT HAS AMNESIA? 292 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,818 WELL, THERE'S NO SPECIFIC CURE. 293 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,221 BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TAKE HIM HOME. 294 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,302 TAKE HIM HOME? AND YOU THINK THAT'S THE BEST PLACE FOR HIM? 295 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,959 ABSOLUTELY. HE SHOULD HAVE FAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS. 296 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,961 HE SHOULD HAVE LOVING CARE AND ATTENTION. 297 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,498 HE NEEDS A FEELING THAT LIFE ISN'T OVER FOR HIM, 298 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:04,535 THAT THIS OLD WORLD IS STILL A PRETTY WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE IN. 299 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,671 BESIDES, WE NEED THAT BED. 300 00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,673 OKAY. 301 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,453 I'LL COME AND GET HIM IN THE MORNING. THAT'S THE BEST THING. 302 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:14,445 HE NEEDS THE SOUND OF FRIENDLY VOICES AROUND HIM. 303 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,547 I'LL BET YOU HE'S LISTENING TO US OUT HERE. 304 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,960 IT'S PUT HIM IN A NICE, RELAXED MOOD. DO YOU THINK SO? 305 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:22,220 ABSOLUTELY. YOU TWO GUYS HOLD IT DOWN SO I CAN GET SOME SLEEP. 306 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:25,155 YOU GO BACK TO BED. YOU COME TOMORROW MORNING. 307 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,559 I'M SURE THAT ONCE HE GETS HOME, HE'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER. 308 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,561 THANKS. 309 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,899 MR. SANFORD, YOU'RE NOT GOING HOME UNTIL TOMORROW. 310 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,814 I DON'T WANNA GO HOME. I WANNA GET OUT TO THE FIRE ESCAPE. 311 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,271 OH! 312 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,427 WELL, HERE WE ARE, POP. HOME AT LAST. 313 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,331 I DON'T LIVE HERE. THIS IS A DUMP. 314 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,869 LISTEN. JUST WAIT TILL YOU GET INSIDE. 315 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,071 YOU'LL REMEMBER ONCE YOU GET INSIDE. 316 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,642 I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE. I WANNA GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL. 317 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:22,179 AT LEAST THEY HAD SOME PRETTY NURSES COME AROUND AT NIGHT AND SPONGE YOU OFF. 318 00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:28,018 I KNOW, POP. BUT JUST COME INSIDE. 319 00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:31,088 YOU GOT A NURSE IN THERE WITH A SPONGE? 320 00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:33,135 THEN I'M GOING BACK TO THE HOSPITAL. 321 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:37,728 JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE, POP. JUST COME INSIDE, OKAY? ALL RIGHT? 322 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:45,169 I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE. COME OVER HERE AND SIT IN YOUR CHAIR. 323 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,138 THIS IS YOUR CHAIR, POP. 324 00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:52,142 I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE. AND I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER. 325 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:56,547 OKAY, NOW, YOU JUST SIT HERE, POP. 326 00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:59,684 NOW, I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. ALL RIGHT? 327 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,188 YOU READY? SURPRISE! 328 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:06,691 IT'S A TELEVISION. NOT ONLY THAT. 329 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,693 IT'S A COLOR TELEVISION. 330 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,281 WITH REMOTE CONTROL. AND IT'S ALL YOURS. 331 00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:15,232 THAT'S WONDERFUL. THAT'S REALLY WONDERFUL. 332 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:17,901 - THAT'S A 21-INCH SCREEN, ISN'T IT? - THAT'S RIGHT. 333 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:21,205 THEY GOT 24-INCH SCREENS NOW. 334 00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:27,545 WHY DIDN'T YOU GET A 24-INCH SCREEN? 335 00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:31,449 YOU SEE, POP, A 24-INCH SCREEN COSTS MORE, AND WE COULDN'T AFFORD IT. 336 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,951 WE COULD AFFORD IT IF YOU HADN'T BOUGHT THAT CAR. 337 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,355 I GUESS YOU RIGHT. I TOOK A BEATING WHEN I SOLD... 338 00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,892 WHAT A MINUTE. HOW DID YOU... 339 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,895 IF YOU LOST YOUR MEMORY, HOW DID YOU REMEMBER THAT I BOUGHT A CAR? 340 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,662 YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO I WAS. THE 341 00:22:46,686 --> 00:22:48,899 TELEVISION IS BRINGING IT ALL BACK TO ME NOW. 342 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,475 LAMONT. MY SON. 343 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:04,715 YOU DID IT TO ME AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU? WHAT A DIRTY UNDERHANDED TRICK. 344 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:08,386 YOU NEVER LOST YOUR MEMORY AT ALL, DID YOU? YEAH, I'M LOSING IT NOW. 345 00:23:10,423 --> 00:23:13,290 WHERE-WHERE AM I? 346 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,393 WHO ARE YOU? 347 00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:19,463 COME OFF OF THAT, YOU OLD FAKER. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. 348 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:22,833 I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM, BUT I KNOW WHO I AM. 349 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:26,069 I'M ARTHUR MATTHEWS, AND I GOT A COLOR TV. 350 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,934 SIT DOWN, MELVIN, AND WATCH IT WITH ME. 351 00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,864 LOOK AT THAT, MELVIN. IS THAT A GREAT SET? 352 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:44,187 THAT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL, FRED. 353 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,234 NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE THE DAY... 354 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:49,298 WHEN I'D BE WATCHING SESAME STREET IN LIVING COLOR. 355 00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:53,898 THAT'S GREAT. YOU GOT A GOOD SON. 356 00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:55,444 LAMONT? YEAH. 357 00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:58,046 HE'S THE BEST. AIN'T NOTHIN' I WOULDN'T DO FOR MY SON. 358 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,871 HEY, POP, I'M GOING TO WORK NOW. 359 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,685 I DON'T WANT YOU SITTING UP HERE ALL DAY LOOKING AT THAT TELEVISION. 360 00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:07,344 THAT'S THE WAY WE WORK. HE DOES SOMETHING FOR ME. I DO SOMETHING FOR HIM. 361 00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:11,348 I WANT YOU TO TRY TO GET THAT YARD CLEANED UP OUT THERE TODAY. 362 00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:14,752 HE GAVE ME THIS COLOR TV. I'LL DO ANYTHING HE SAYS. 363 00:24:14,821 --> 00:24:18,055 - HE'S A GOOD SON ALL RIGHT. - POP, THE YARD. 364 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,390 ALL HE GOTTA DO IS SAY IT, AND I'LL DO IT. 365 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:24,962 POP, I WANT... NEVER MIND. I'LL DO IT MYSELF. 366 00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:26,897 GOOD MORNING, SON. 367 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:37,185 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MELVIN? I'M GONNA TURN THE SOUND UP. 368 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,142 SIT DOWN. HERE. 369 00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:42,379 WELL, I'LL BE DOGGONE. YOU GOT A REMOTE CONTROL. 370 00:24:42,448 --> 00:24:45,115 YEAH. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GET UP OUT YOUR CHAIR. 371 00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:49,052 ALL YOU DO IS USE YOUR THUMB. NOW, WATCH MY THUMB. 372 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,761 WHAT'S WRONG? 373 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,997 MUST BE THIS VOLUME CONTROL. 374 00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:05,268 WAIT A MINUTE, FRED. CAN'T YOU MAKE IT LOUDER? 375 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,270 YEAH. HOLD THIS. 376 00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:29,459 SANFORD AND SON IS RECORDED ON TAPE BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 31453

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