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1
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CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
2
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CARTOON NETWORK
3
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[ JET ENGINE ROARING ]
4
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[ WHISTLING ]
5
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[ Robotic voice ] KIDS NEXT DOOR
6
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C.H.O.P.S.H.O.P....
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CRAB-LIKE HEADQUARTERS
8
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OBVIOUSLY PACK
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SUPER HAIR-OBLITERATING POWER.
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[ CREAKING ]
11
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[ FLOORBOARD CREAKS ]
12
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[ SNORING ]
13
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- [ Southern accent] - HO-O-WDY!
14
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YOU FELLAS GOT TO EXCUSE
15
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MY LACK OF HOSPITALITY.
16
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I MUST'VE
DOZED OFF
17
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WHILE READING THIS HERE
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MODERN MOUSTACHE MAGAZINE.
19
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UHH.
20
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- [ Southern accent ] - YE-E-E-HAW!
21
00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:53,980
- IS THAT THERE - THE LATEST ISSUE?
22
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- IT'S WORSE - THAN WE THOUGHT!
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- [ Southern accent ] - HEY, THERE, PARTNERS!
24
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- Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT - MOUSTACHES?!
25
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THIS PLACE IS INFESTED.
26
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QUICK, GET THESE KIDS
27
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OUT OF HERE!
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UGH!
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YAH!
30
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LOCK AND LOAD, NUMBUH 1!
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- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU COWPOKES - DOING?!
32
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AND WHERE ARE YOUR MOUSTA...
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YA-A-A-H! OH!
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WHY, YOU SIDE-WINDING
35
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SON OF A POLE... OW!
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WHOA!
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WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!
38
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- LITTLE SHAVER TO HEDGE CLIPPER, - YOU'VE GOT CUSTOMERS.
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ROGER THAT.
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C.H.O.P.S.H.O.P. IS OPEN
41
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FOR BUSINESS.
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YAAAAAAAAA!
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OW! EW!
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HEY! EW!
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EW! WOW! EW!
46
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UGH!
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OHH, MAN.
48
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A CUSTOMER!!
49
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DON'T WORRY, MR. FUZZY.
50
00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:42,333
THIS WON'T HURT A BIT!
51
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NO-O-O-O-O!
52
00:03:43,867 --> 00:03:45,857
YOU TWO-TIMING LITTLE HEAP
53
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OF BLUE JAY DROPPINGS!
54
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AAAAAAAAAAAH!
55
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NO! HE-E-E-LP!
56
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NUMBUH 1, WE GOT OURSELVES
57
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A CLEAN ONE HERE.
58
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NUMBER 142,
59
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ARE YOU OKAY?
60
00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,167
[ Weakly ] SAVE... YOURSELVES.
61
00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:01,713
TAKE IT EASY, PAL.
62
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:03,234
JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.
63
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,360
IT ALL STARTED WHEN NUMBER 149
64
00:04:05,385 --> 00:04:07,465
WENT TO HIS MOM'S OFFICE.
65
00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:09,263
HE CAME BACK WITH A...
66
00:04:09,284 --> 00:04:11,034
A HIDEOUS MOUSTACHE!
67
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- SUDDENLY, HE STOPPED - GOING ON MISSIONS
68
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OR BUILDING
69
00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:15,001
NEW 2x4 TECHNOLOGY.
70
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ALL HE CARED ABOUT
71
00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:17,431
WAS GROOMING THAT THING!
72
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BEFORE WE COULD DO ANYTHING
73
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,901
ABOUT IT, NUMBER 161 GOT ONE.
74
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:22,967
THEN NUMBER 143!
75
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:24,813
AND NOW LOOK AT ME!
76
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PEACH FUZZ!
77
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,030
YOU GOT TO HELP ME!
78
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,330
I'M TOO YOUNG TO LOOK LIKE
79
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SOME GREASY UNCLE!
80
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,367
OW!
81
00:04:31,433 --> 00:04:32,803
KEEP IT TOGETHER, MAN!
82
00:04:32,867 --> 00:04:34,357
YOU'VE GOT TO TELL US WHERE
83
00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:35,895
NUMBER 149 GOT THE MOUSTACHE!
84
00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:37,097
T-THERE.
85
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:38,737
UH, YOU MEAN THAT
86
00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:40,368
LITTLE RED BUILDING
87
00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:42,183
- OVER THERE - ON THE RIGHT?
88
00:04:42,267 --> 00:04:43,757
NO, YOU IDIOT!
89
00:04:43,785 --> 00:04:45,295
THE ONE WITH THE... UGH!
90
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,597
[ GROANING ]
91
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:51,597
[ SCREAMING ]
92
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,127
NUMBER 142!
93
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[ Southern accent ]
94
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I LOOK GO-O-OD!
95
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GO-O-SH DARN IT!
96
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD
97
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LIKE A BONA FIDE MOUSTACHE!
98
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I'M GONNA SPEND THE WHO-O-LE DAY
99
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COMBING IT,
100
00:05:03,967 --> 00:05:06,167
AND GRO-O-OMING IT, AND... UGH!
101
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WHAT IN TA-A-RNATION?!
102
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YOU WILL BE AVENGED,
103
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NUMBER 142.
104
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:16,130
YOU WILL BE AVENGED!
105
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:19,607
[ Southern accent ]
106
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FINE MOUSTACHE
107
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SAY, THAT'S A MIGHTY
108
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- YOU GOT THERE, - NED.
109
00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:24,077
- [ Southern accent ] - WELL, THANK YOU, ED.
110
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:26,037
- I WAS JUST ADMIRING - THE ONE ON TED.
111
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:27,483
- [ Southern accent ] - WE-E-LL, THANK YOU, NED.
112
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WELL, YOUR MOUSTACHE
113
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IS YOUR BEST FRIEND, ED.
114
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- HMM, SO, - ANY GROOMING TIPS, NED?
115
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WELL, ED, IT'S LIKE I WAS
116
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TELLING TED THE OTHER DAY,
117
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YOU GOT TO BE GOOD
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TO YOUR MOUSTACHE!
119
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- YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN', - NED.
120
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- WELL, THANK YOU - MUCHLY, ED.
121
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SO HOW LONG YOU SPEND GROOMING
122
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YOUR MOUSTACHE THERE, ED?
123
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- WELL, TED, - I TELLS YOU...
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'SCUSE ME, FELLERS!
125
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LOOKS LIKE Y'ALL DROPPED
126
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YOUR... MOUSTACHE?
127
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RRRRR!
128
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WHAT IN TARNATION?!
129
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SHAVING TIME, MATE!
130
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NO, NOT MY... AAAAAH!
131
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- THEY GOT TED! - LET'S GET 'EM!
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AHA! AHA!
133
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[ BOTH GRUNT ]
134
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SHAVING CREAM! SHAVING CREAM!
135
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OHHHHH! OHHHHH!
136
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IT'S SUDSY!
137
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HUH?! HUH?!
138
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NO-O-O-O! NO-O-O-O!
139
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ALL RIGHT, SMOOTH GUY.
140
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WHERE'S THE HEAD MOUSTACHE?
141
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:19,990
[ No accent ]
142
00:06:20,018 --> 00:06:21,128
YOU... YOU GOT TO HELP US!
143
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,760
HE WON'T REST TILL THE
144
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WHOLE WORLD HAS MOUSTACHES!
145
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WHERE?!
146
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TOP FLOOR!
147
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BUT YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT OUT
148
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OF HERE WITHOUT FACIAL HAIR!
149
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,930
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!
150
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ALL RIGHT, TEAM!
151
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LET'S GO CLIP SOME LIP!
152
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[ BELL DINGS ]
153
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HMM? HMM?
154
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UH-OH. UH-OH.
155
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[ BUZZING ]
156
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WHO-O-A! WHO-O-A!
157
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OHH! OHH!
158
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THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
159
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UGH! UGH!
160
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STAY FROSTY, TEAM.
161
00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:02,733
[ Southern accent ]
162
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WELL, WELL, WELL!
163
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I DIDN'T THINK Y'ALL'D
164
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GET THIS FAR!
165
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BUT NOW Y'ALL ARE GONNA HAVE
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TO TANGLE WITH ME!
167
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YEE-HAW!
168
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EW! EW!
169
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EW! EW!
170
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DON'T MOVE,
171
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LADY SASQUATCH!
172
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WE'RE HERE TO SHEAR!
173
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OHH, COME ON, NOW!
174
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LET ME TAKE CARE OF THEM
175
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FUNNY-LOOKING SIX-SHOOTERS!
176
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NOW, WHAT IN TARNATION DO YOU
177
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KIDS HAVE AGAINST MOUSTACHIOS?
178
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DON'T YOU WANT
179
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TO LOOK MORE ADULT?
180
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DON'T YOU WANT
181
00:07:34,151 --> 00:07:35,601
TO BE MORE CONFIDENT?
182
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,597
DON'T YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE...
183
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A FREAK?
184
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- IF YOU ADULTS - WANT TO WALK AROUND
185
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WITH THAT STUPID FUZZ
186
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ON YOUR FACE, FINE.
187
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- BUT LEAVE US KIDS - OUT OF IT.
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YOU DON'T RECKON
189
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WHAT YOU'RE UP AGAINST.
190
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WHEN I GET DONE,
191
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THERE'LL BE A BIG, OLD MOUSTACHE
192
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ON EVERY FACE
193
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IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
194
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EVERYWHERE...
195
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BIG WONDERFUL MOUSTA...
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[ GRUNTING ]
197
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[ WHIMPERING, PANTING ]
198
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[ No accent ]
199
00:08:01,585 --> 00:08:02,595
PLEASE... H-HELP ME!
200
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HUH? HUH?
201
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,731
HUH? HUH?
202
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,730
YOU GOT TO HELP!
203
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,030
[ GRUNTING ]
204
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[ Southern accent ] QUIET,
205
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YOU TWO-TIMING POLECAT!
206
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[ GRUNTING ]
207
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:13,837
- [ No accent ] PLEASE, - GET THIS THING OFF MY FACE!
208
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[ GRUNTING ]
209
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[ Southern accent ] PIPE DOWN,
210
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YOU LILY-LIVERED COWARD!
211
00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:18,667
[ GRUNTS ]
212
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- [ No accent ] - HELP!
213
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,483
- [ Southern accent ] - SHUT UP!
214
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YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A MOUSTACHE,
215
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:26,495
AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!
216
00:08:26,567 --> 00:08:29,327
[ GRUNTING AND GROANING ]
217
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:33,057
KIDS NEXT DOOR,
218
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LET'S SPLIT SOME HAIRS.
219
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AAAAH!
220
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Numbuh 1: HOLD YOUR FIRE!
221
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WE'VE GOT OURSELVES
222
00:08:46,451 --> 00:08:48,371
A MOBILE MOUSTACHE.
223
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,843
[ Southern accent ]
224
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:55,903
YOU RIDING COWPOKES!
225
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:55,968
DROP YOUR SHOOTING IRONS,
226
00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:58,027
Y'ALL THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST
227
00:08:58,051 --> 00:09:00,131
MARCH IN HERE AND STOP ME!
228
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,880
SOON YOU'LL SEE
229
00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:03,601
THE GLORY, THE BEAUTY,
230
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,327
THE POWER OF A MOUSTACHE!
231
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,570
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
232
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,483
[ No accent ]
233
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:10,371
WHY, YOU NO GOOD MOUSTACHE!
234
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,243
YOU MAY BE HAIR TODAY, BUT
235
00:09:12,268 --> 00:09:14,098
YOU'LL BE GONE TOMORROW!
236
00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:15,027
WHAT?
237
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:16,540
AAH! AAH!
238
00:09:16,568 --> 00:09:18,028
AAH! AAH!
239
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,970
[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
240
00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:22,133
YAH! GOT IT!
241
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,590
ALL RIGHT, KIDS NEXT DOOR.
242
00:09:24,618 --> 00:09:27,028
POLISH HIM OFF!
243
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,170
NOW, NUMBUH 4!
244
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:30,573
UGH! CLEAR!
245
00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:32,033
- HOW ABOUT A LITTLE - OFF THE TOP?!
246
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,290
[ Southern accent ]
247
00:09:33,318 --> 00:09:34,528
NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
248
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,860
HUH?! HUH?!
249
00:09:35,885 --> 00:09:37,165
HUH?! HUH?!
250
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,143
[ Crying ] PLEASE.
251
00:09:39,168 --> 00:09:41,098
HAVE MERCY!
252
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:42,527
WE MEAN NO HARM.
253
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,430
ALL WE SEEK IS...
254
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,301
A... A HOME!
255
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:47,797
[ ALL CRYING ]
256
00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:49,527
Y'ALL DON'T KNOW
257
00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:51,231
WHAT IT'S LIKE.
258
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,830
WE USED TO BE EVERYWHERE.
259
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,440
WE WAS IMPORTANT
260
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,028
AND HIGHLY REGARDED.
261
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:57,840
WE SHARED THE FACES OF
262
00:09:57,868 --> 00:09:59,628
PRESIDENTS, ATHLETES,
263
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,310
SCIENTISTS, CELEBRITIES,
264
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,965
AND PRIVATE DETECTIVES.
265
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,443
BUT NOW, [SNORTS] WE'RE LUCKY
266
00:10:05,468 --> 00:10:07,898
TO EVEN WIND UP ON A [GASPS]
267
00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:10,197
PROFESSIONAL BOWLER!
268
00:10:10,267 --> 00:10:11,027
[ SOBBING ]
269
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,130
[ No accent ]
270
00:10:12,151 --> 00:10:13,201
AWW!
271
00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:14,597
YOU POOR KITTY!
272
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:17,327
OH, KITTY! THAT'S THE SADDEST
273
00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:20,031
STORY I'VE EVER HEARD!
274
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,230
OH, COME ON, NUMBUH 3!
275
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,740
THAT "KITTY" TRIED
276
00:10:22,768 --> 00:10:24,228
TAKING OVER YOUR FACE!
277
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,990
SHE JUST NEEDS
278
00:10:26,018 --> 00:10:27,728
A PLACE TO BE LOVED!
279
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,170
WE GOT TO HELP HER!
280
00:10:29,233 --> 00:10:31,013
UHH, JUST FOR THE RECORD.
281
00:10:31,034 --> 00:10:32,834
I'M A
GUY MOUSTACHE.
282
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,710
I SAW WE SHAVE THAT THING OFF
283
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,565
THE FACE OF THE EARTH!
284
00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:37,873
AND BETTER YET...
285
00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:41,403
WE'RE HELPING KITTY!!
286
00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:43,237
I-I VOTE FOR
287
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,068
HELPING THE KITTY.
288
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,073
HMM.
289
00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:48,663
I THINK NUMBUH 5
290
00:10:48,684 --> 00:10:51,234
HAS AN IDEA!
291
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,470
[ JET ENGINE ROARING ]
292
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:57,103
[ WHISTLING ]
293
00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:03,597
[ SQUAWKING ]
294
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:07,067
[ PUNCHES CONNECTING ]
295
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,083
[ Southern accent ]
296
00:11:10,101 --> 00:11:13,071
GO-O-LDANG! I LOOK GO-O-O-OD!
297
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:37,167
[ ALARM RINGING ]
298
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:46,333
[ BEEPING ]
299
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:56,757
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
300
00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:57,895
PHEW!
301
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,367
[ ALARM BLARING ]
302
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:01,313
- [ Robotic voice ] -
MALFUNCTION.
303
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,930
NO. I CAN'T GO BACK.
304
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,440
HE'S WAITING
305
00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:12,928
FOR ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!
306
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:17,257
RIGHT ON TIME,
307
00:12:17,285 --> 00:12:18,395
NIGEL, OLD BOY.
308
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:19,977
WE DON'T WANT TO MISS
309
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:21,531
ANY OF THE ACTION, DO WE?
310
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,930
[ Sighing ] OHH.
311
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,830
DAD, I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES.
312
00:12:24,851 --> 00:12:26,701
I DON'T WANT TO GO FISHING!
313
00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:28,607
NONSENSE! ALL FATHERS AND SONS
314
00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:30,495
GO ON FISHING TRIPS.
315
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,237
I READ IT IN THE "DADS'
316
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:33,967
OF THE NEWSPAPER.
317
00:12:32,268 --> 00:12:34,028
DO'S AND DON'TS" SECTION
318
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:35,813
BUT I HAVE IMPORTANT KIDS NEXT
319
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,634
DOOR MISSIONS AND STUFF TO DO.
320
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,890
QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR DAD
321
00:12:39,918 --> 00:12:42,128
IS TODAY'S MISSION, SON.
322
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,370
[ GROANS ]
323
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:48,427
[ HORNS HONKING ]
324
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,670
SPEED IT UP, GRANDMA!
325
00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,003
MOVE IT, PAL!
326
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:53,707
ALL THIS SPEEDY DRIVING
327
00:12:53,735 --> 00:12:55,395
SURE IS HARD ON THE NERVES.
328
00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:57,177
I COULD USE SOME GOOD,
329
00:12:57,201 --> 00:12:58,931
OLD RELAXING MUSIC.
330
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,130
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
331
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,760
OH, COME ON, DAD!
332
00:13:01,785 --> 00:13:03,365
YOU KNOW I HATE THE TUBA!
333
00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:05,033
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
334
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,970
SO DO I, SON.
335
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:10,573
SO... DO... I.
336
00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:13,433
BUT THIS SOUSAPHONE MUSIC
337
00:13:13,451 --> 00:13:16,271
SURE IS TOP CRACKERS, EH?!
338
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:17,033
UGH!
339
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:20,130
[ UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES ]
340
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,160
THEY DIDN'T SAY THIS WOULD BE
341
00:13:23,185 --> 00:13:24,865
SO HARD IN THE FISHING COLUMN.
342
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:26,513
NOW, WHICH END OF THIS
343
00:13:26,534 --> 00:13:28,134
BLASTED ROD GOES IN THE WATER?
344
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,710
EWW! THIS BUCKET
345
00:13:29,735 --> 00:13:31,265
IS FULL OF WORMS!
346
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:32,693
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
347
00:13:32,718 --> 00:13:34,098
TO DO WITH THEM?
348
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:35,357
YUCK!
349
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,595
THEY'RE ALL SQUISHY!
350
00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:37,597
HEY!
351
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,367
SLOW DOWN!
352
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:40,693
THAT'S NO WAY
353
00:13:40,718 --> 00:13:41,998
TO CATCH A FISH!
354
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:44,077
WELL, THIS SURE
355
00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:46,131
IS GREAT, EH, NIGEL?
356
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,300
NIGEL?
357
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:48,777
[ Sarcastically ]
358
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:50,231
YEAH, DAD. IT'S PERFECT!
359
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,670
[ WHEEZES, LAUGHS ]
360
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:52,963
YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER,
361
00:13:52,984 --> 00:13:54,234
OL' BOY!
362
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,880
BUT IT CAN'T BE PERFECT
363
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,501
WITHOUT MUSIC.
364
00:13:57,567 --> 00:14:00,597
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
365
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,440
DAD, NO ONE WANTS TO
366
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,228
LISTEN TO THIS JUNK!
367
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,530
GOOD CALL, SON.
368
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,080
PEOPLE ALWAYS PREFER TO HEAR
369
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:11,601
THE SOUSAPHONE... LIVE!
370
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,797
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
371
00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:16,457
HUH? HEY!
372
00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:18,095
OH, I LIKE THAT.
373
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:19,757
UGH! TELL HIM TO STOP!
374
00:14:19,785 --> 00:14:21,395
THAT'S TERRIBLE!
375
00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:23,707
I LIKE THAT.
376
00:14:23,735 --> 00:14:25,995
IT'S NICE ON THE WATER, TOO.
377
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,067
DA-A-D!
378
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:32,003
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
379
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,330
DAD!
380
00:14:36,933 --> 00:14:38,883
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!
381
00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,871
PLEASE STOP!
382
00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:41,933
DAD!
383
00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:44,097
DAD!
384
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,167
DA-A-A-A-D!!
385
00:14:45,233 --> 00:14:46,443
OH, I-I SAY, NIGEL.
386
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:47,698
I'M SORRY.
387
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,867
DID YOU HAVE A REQUEST?
388
00:14:49,933 --> 00:14:50,973
A REQUEST?!
389
00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,273
YEAH, I'VE GOT A REQUEST!
390
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:53,793
I'D LIKE TO REQUEST WE GET
391
00:14:53,818 --> 00:14:55,298
OUT OF THIS STUPID BOAT
392
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:57,607
WITH YOUR STUPID FISHING JUNK
393
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,895
AND YOUR STUPID TUBA!
394
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,427
ACTUALLY, IT'S A SOUSA...
395
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,530
WHO CARES?!
396
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,440
- I WANT TO HANG OUT - WITH MY FRIENDS.
397
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:05,613
THEY DON'T WAKE ME UP
398
00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:06,734
AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING
399
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,310
'CAUSE THEY READ SOME STUPID
400
00:15:09,335 --> 00:15:11,865
ARTICLE IN THE STUPID PAPER!!
401
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,670
UH, I SEE.
402
00:15:16,733 --> 00:15:17,773
I'M SORRY, NIGEL.
403
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,943
I-I JUST WANTED
404
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:22,098
TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
405
00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:24,267
OH. UM...
406
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,833
WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT
407
00:15:25,851 --> 00:15:27,371
LIKE THAT, DAD.
408
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:29,243
- IT'S... IT'S JUST, - UH... UH, UH.
409
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,293
THAT'S OKAY.
410
00:15:31,318 --> 00:15:33,298
I-I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
411
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,027
OH, LOOKEE!
412
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:36,731
THE BUSINESS SECTION!
413
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,900
[ REEL WINDING ]
414
00:15:37,967 --> 00:15:39,697
DA-A-A-D!
415
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,967
DAD?
416
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:46,903
[ CRYING ] [ CRYING ]
417
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:49,087
Mr. Uno: OH. SUFFERING
418
00:15:49,118 --> 00:15:51,268
SOUSAPHONES.
419
00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:53,573
WHERE... WHERE AM I?
420
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:55,843
YOU'RE HOME!!
421
00:15:55,868 --> 00:15:58,098
DAD!
422
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,427
HUH?
423
00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:05,573
DID YOU JUST CALL ME DAD?
424
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:06,663
YEP!
425
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:07,734
YOU'RE PERFECT!
426
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,290
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST DAD
427
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:10,828
I CAUGHT TODAY!
428
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:11,910
AND YOU'VE GOT
429
00:16:11,935 --> 00:16:12,965
A SOUSAPHONE!
430
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:14,583
UH, YOU ACTUALLY LIKE
431
00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:16,171
THE SOUSAPHONE?
432
00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:17,373
DON'T ALL KIDS?
433
00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:18,963
NONE OF THE OTHER DADS
434
00:16:18,984 --> 00:16:20,534
I CAUGHT CAN PLAY.
435
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,780
I'LL HAVE
436
00:16:21,801 --> 00:16:23,001
TO THROW 'EM BACK!
437
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,927
HEY, DAD!
438
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,831
HOW ABOUT A DU-U-ET?
439
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,240
"A DU-U-ET"?
440
00:16:28,268 --> 00:16:29,628
W-WHY, YES!
441
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,560
THAT WOULD BE TOP CRACKERS,
442
00:16:31,585 --> 00:16:33,465
OL' BOY!
443
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:38,003
BUT... WE
ARE FRIENDS, DAD.
444
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,273
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
445
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,083
THAT MUSIC!
446
00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:44,871
DAD? IS THAT YOU?
447
00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:46,113
HOLD ON, DAD.
448
00:16:46,134 --> 00:16:47,334
I'M COMING!
449
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,890
UGH! I CAN'T BELIEVE
450
00:16:49,918 --> 00:16:52,428
I'M GOING TO SAVE AN ADULT.
451
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,860
HA HA HA!
452
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:58,565
THAT WAS GR-R-R-E-EAT!
453
00:16:58,633 --> 00:16:59,963
[ Chuckling ]
454
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:01,334
YES! SMASHING, OL' BOY!
455
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,780
- SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT - TO DO NEXT?
456
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,690
WELL, I-I BETTER BE
457
00:17:04,718 --> 00:17:06,628
GETTING BACK TO MY SON.
458
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,540
- HE'S PROBABLY - WORRIED SICK.
459
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:09,573
[ SIGHS ]
460
00:17:09,633 --> 00:17:10,833
THEN AGAIN,
461
00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:12,071
MAYBE HE'S NOT.
462
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:13,433
COME ON, DAD!
463
00:17:13,451 --> 00:17:14,771
JUST ONE MORE SONG!
464
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,293
THIS IS SUCH
465
00:17:16,318 --> 00:17:17,798
GREAT QUALITY TIME!
466
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:19,697
WELL, YES, BUT YOU SEE,
467
00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:21,477
I WAS HOPING FOR SOME
468
00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,231
QUALITY TIME WITH MY REAL SON.
469
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,260
OHH! YOU'LL PLAY!
470
00:17:26,285 --> 00:17:29,265
AND
YOU'LL LIKE IT!!
471
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,133
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
472
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,530
ANYONE HERE KNOW HOW TO PLAY
473
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,910
"GIVE ME BACK MY DAD
474
00:17:32,935 --> 00:17:34,265
BEFORE I HAVE TO KICK YOUR BUTT
475
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:35,413
UP AND DOWN THIS PIER"
476
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:36,534
IN "A" MINOR?
477
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,290
ACTUALLY, I'D RATHER PLAY
478
00:17:39,318 --> 00:17:42,028
THIS LITTLE NUMBER!
479
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,000
WHOA!
480
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,627
SON!
481
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:45,770
DA-A-A-D!
482
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,073
UNH-UNH-UNH!
483
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,533
ONE MOVE, AND IT'S YOUR DAD'S
484
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,971
FINAL CONCERTO!
485
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:53,473
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
486
00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:55,403
I WANT YOUR DAD.
487
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:56,807
AND I'M WILLING
488
00:17:56,835 --> 00:17:58,195
TO FIGHT FOR HIM!
489
00:17:58,267 --> 00:18:00,437
I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE.
490
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:02,668
JUST NAME YOUR FIGHT!
491
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:04,573
A TUBA BATTLE?
492
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:05,933
WELL, THIS IS STUPID!
493
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,930
QUIT STALLING, LIVER LUNGS!
494
00:18:08,951 --> 00:18:11,901
'CAUSE I GOT ME A DAD TO WIN!
495
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:14,667
AFTER YOU, BLISTER LIPS!
496
00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:15,473
FINE!
497
00:18:15,533 --> 00:18:18,273
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
498
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:22,203
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
499
00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:26,273
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
500
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,873
[ OFF-KEY NOTE PLAYS ]
501
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:33,673
[ TUNE PLAYS ]
502
00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:35,533
[ GULPS ]
503
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:40,930
[ IMITATES TUNE PLAYED ]
504
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,530
[ TUNE RESUMES ]
505
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,467
[ IMITATES TUNE ]
506
00:18:51,533 --> 00:18:52,803
EHHH!
507
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:55,727
[ TUNE RESUMES ]
508
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:02,927
[ IMITATES TUNE ]
509
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:10,073
[ FANCIER TUNE PLAYS ]
510
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:17,327
[ IMITATES FANCIER TUNE ]
511
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:21,830
[ BOTH PLAY TUNE ]
512
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:49,467
[ TEMPO QUICKENS ]
513
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,670
[ GASPS ]
514
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:11,803
HEE HEE HEE HEE!
515
00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:13,277
[ Singsong voice ]
516
00:20:13,301 --> 00:20:14,731
I WIN! HEH HA HA!
517
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,260
IN YOUR FACE!
518
00:20:16,285 --> 00:20:17,765
HEE HEE HA HA!
519
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:19,003
I'M SORRY, DAD.
520
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:20,577
THAT'S OKAY, SON.
521
00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:22,131
YOU DID YOUR BEST.
522
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,510
AND, ACCORDING TO THE
523
00:20:23,535 --> 00:20:24,865
"DADS' DO'S AND DON'TS"
524
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:25,973
SECTION OF THE PAPER...
525
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,973
THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.
526
00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:29,703
[ LAUGHING AND SNORTING ]
527
00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:31,637
- NOW YOU'LL KNOW - WHAT IT'S LIKE
528
00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:33,313
TO SIT ON THAT PIER ALL DAY
529
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:34,934
FISHING FOR DADS!
530
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:36,443
YOU'LL KNOW THE WAITING,
531
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:37,898
THE HOPING,
532
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:39,637
AND DISAPPOINTMENT
533
00:20:39,668 --> 00:20:41,368
OF CATCHING LOUSY FATHERS
534
00:20:41,433 --> 00:20:42,783
AND HAVING
535
00:20:42,801 --> 00:20:44,171
TO THROW THEM BACK!
536
00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:45,673
[ LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY ]
537
00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:48,573
HELLO! WILLARD?
538
00:20:50,067 --> 00:20:52,227
IS IT REALLY YOU?
539
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,000
UH... YEAH.
540
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,767
OH, DAD!
541
00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:58,603
DA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-D!
542
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:03,970
OH, DAD!
543
00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:05,733
I THOUGHT I'D NEVER
544
00:21:05,751 --> 00:21:07,471
SEE YOU AGAIN!!
545
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,583
- [ SIGHS ] FOR PETE'S SAKE, - WILLARD.
546
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,537
I TOLD YOU I'D BE GONE FOR
547
00:21:11,568 --> 00:21:13,468
10 MINUTES WHILE I GET MILK.
548
00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:14,873
HUH?
549
00:21:14,933 --> 00:21:17,463
UGH! JUST WHAT WE NEED
550
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:20,034
AROUND HERE... MORE TUBAS!
551
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,930
SOUSAPHONES! SOUSAPHONES!
552
00:21:25,733 --> 00:21:28,043
SON, THERE'S SOMETHING I...
553
00:21:28,068 --> 00:21:30,398
I WANT TO TELL YOU.
554
00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:32,237
IT'S OKAY, DAD.
555
00:21:32,268 --> 00:21:34,068
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.
556
00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:35,333
NO, NO.
557
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,240
THIS HAS TO BE SAID RIGHT,
558
00:21:37,268 --> 00:21:39,128
AND IT HAS TO BE SAID NOW.
559
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,600
NIGEL...
560
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:41,787
I THINK YOU REALLY NEED
561
00:21:41,818 --> 00:21:42,968
SOME SOUSAPHONE LESSONS!
562
00:21:43,033 --> 00:21:44,613
- I MEAN, DID YOU HEAR - YOURSELF UP THERE?!
563
00:21:44,633 --> 00:21:46,243
PEE-YEW!
564
00:21:46,268 --> 00:21:47,898
EITHER YOUR SHARPS WERE FLAT
565
00:21:47,967 --> 00:21:49,677
- AND YOUR FLATS - WERE SHARP AND WOBBLY
566
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,707
- AND YOUR FINGERS - WERE LIKE YOUR POSITIONS
567
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,930
WERE LIKE A SPIDER
568
00:21:52,951 --> 00:21:54,101
IN A WINDSTORM!
569
00:21:54,167 --> 00:21:55,287
EIGHT LEGS
570
00:21:55,318 --> 00:21:56,468
FLYING EVERYWHERE!
571
00:21:56,533 --> 00:21:58,803
[ GURGLING ]
572
00:22:02,133 --> 00:22:04,833
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
573
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:05,930
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
574
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,470
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
575
00:22:07,533 --> 00:22:09,803
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
576
00:22:09,867 --> 00:22:11,297
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
577
00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:12,927
5...
578
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,130
4...
579
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,700
3...
580
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:17,097
2...
581
00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:19,197
1.
582
00:22:19,267 --> 00:22:20,467
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
583
00:22:20,533 --> 00:22:22,103
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
584
00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:24,367
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
585
00:22:24,433 --> 00:22:25,773
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
586
00:22:25,833 --> 00:22:27,403
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
587
00:22:27,467 --> 00:22:32,367
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
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