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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:55,723 Oh, Jared. 2 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,660 It's so beautiful. 3 00:00:58,693 --> 00:01:01,228 No, you're so beautiful. 4 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,564 There's no one else I'd rather spend 5 00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:04,164 the rest of my life with. 6 00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,336 My love, will you... 7 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:10,972 She's not for you. 8 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,440 What the hell? 9 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:14,742 Pow! 10 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,345 - Hey! - Oh. 11 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:19,747 That ring costs me 10 grand. 12 00:01:19,781 --> 00:01:20,748 You were robbed. 13 00:01:20,782 --> 00:01:21,783 And besides, I've saved you 14 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:24,117 a lot more than that. 15 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:28,690 And as for you, honey, you can do far better than him. 16 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:48,543 Ah. 17 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,510 Ha-ha! 18 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:50,578 Still alive? 19 00:01:50,612 --> 00:01:51,445 Hey! 20 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:54,716 Hey! 21 00:01:54,749 --> 00:01:57,518 Rise and shine! 22 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,484 Wow! 23 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,185 What a dinner. 24 00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,055 That's got to be the best Italian in the city. 25 00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:36,024 I uh, kind of wanted sushi tonight but... 26 00:02:36,057 --> 00:02:38,458 Oh, how good was the pasta, huh, babe? 27 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,393 I think the chef's from Sicily. 28 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,494 Tuscany. 29 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,663 And it's just so simple, you know, 30 00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:44,932 just chicken and mushrooms, and spinach. 31 00:02:44,966 --> 00:02:46,768 I think the recipe was a lot more complicated 32 00:02:46,801 --> 00:02:48,002 than that but... 33 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,436 Makes you wonder why you'd ever want to eat 34 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,905 anywhere else. 35 00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,472 We should take your parents there next week. 36 00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:54,509 We really shouldn't. 37 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,777 Spare some change. 38 00:03:00,815 --> 00:03:02,717 Very generous. 39 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,620 Here, take this, too. 40 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,821 The chef's from Sicily. 41 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:07,922 Tuscany. 42 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,058 Enjoy. 43 00:03:10,091 --> 00:03:14,128 Uh, could use something to wash it down with. 44 00:03:14,162 --> 00:03:15,163 Here. 45 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,765 Take this. 46 00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:19,567 My man. 47 00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:22,469 I thought he might be hungry. 48 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,072 That was sweet, Dave. 49 00:03:26,107 --> 00:03:27,709 You know, uh, we should try to make 50 00:03:27,742 --> 00:03:29,811 some of that pasta. 51 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,680 Shut up about the pasta. 52 00:03:32,714 --> 00:03:35,016 It wasn't that fucking good. 53 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,284 - It wasn't? - No. 54 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:40,555 Yes. 55 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,458 I mean, like it was and then it wasn't, 56 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,194 you know what I mean? 57 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,227 Not really. 58 00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:52,934 Um, I'm sorry I can't do this anymore. 59 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,072 Do what anymore? 60 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,843 Denise, do what anymore? 61 00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:03,343 The... this. 62 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:04,746 You. Us. 63 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:05,880 Like... 64 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,014 Denise, what are you saying? 65 00:04:07,048 --> 00:04:10,017 I... I'm saying goodbye. 66 00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:11,519 I'm breaking up with you. 67 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,385 What? What? 68 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,422 - Why? - Because I don't love you. 69 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,124 Yes, you do. 70 00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:16,924 You've told me tons of times. 71 00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,626 Well, I... I was wrong. 72 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,327 But what about us getting married 73 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,029 after I graduate law school like we talked about? 74 00:04:22,063 --> 00:04:24,532 I'm sorry, Dave, I'm just not feeling it. 75 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,234 Feeling what? 76 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,635 That spark. 77 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,270 You know, that magical moment a girl's supposed to feel. 78 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,405 Like, it wasn't there from the start. 79 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,207 Sure, it was. 80 00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:34,441 It was very magical when we met. 81 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,544 We met at the DMV. 82 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,612 I let you cut in front of me. 83 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:38,880 Uh. 84 00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,182 - Nobody does that at the DMV. - Okay. 85 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,017 Just... just try to understand, okay? 86 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,852 So when I was a little girl, I grew up watching 87 00:04:44,886 --> 00:04:47,622 all these movies and there was always 88 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:48,823 this magic moment. 89 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,859 Belle and Beauty and the Beast had it and... 90 00:04:51,893 --> 00:04:54,461 Oh, oh, and Demi Moore in Ghost. 91 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,998 God, even Sarah Connor in the Terminator had it. 92 00:04:57,031 --> 00:05:01,368 I... I just don't feel that with you. 93 00:05:04,105 --> 00:05:06,406 Oh, come on, say something. 94 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,910 So you can't be in love with someone 95 00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:11,311 unless they're a ghost, a monster or someone 96 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,915 sent back in time to protect you from a cyborg assassin. 97 00:05:13,948 --> 00:05:15,049 Exactly. 98 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,450 - Oh, you got it. - No! 99 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,220 I don't got it at all. 100 00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,222 Life's not like the movies where there's this big 101 00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,390 dramatic moment with all the bells and whistles 102 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:26,861 or getting hit by cupid's arrow when you meet someone. 103 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,563 Okay, I want there to be. 104 00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:30,097 Oh, Denise. 105 00:05:30,131 --> 00:05:31,331 Be reasonable. 106 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:34,035 Love isn't supposed to be reasonable. 107 00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,002 But I'd do anything for you. 108 00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:35,837 Would you though? 109 00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:37,104 Like would you really? 110 00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:40,241 Of course, I would. 111 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,243 Uh, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry. 112 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,715 Goodbye, Dave. 113 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:03,231 She got one thing right, pasta was good, 114 00:06:03,264 --> 00:06:05,700 but it wasn't that fucking good. 115 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,662 Aww. 116 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,696 Hey! Why isn't the game on? 117 00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:36,631 Huh? 118 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:40,034 I just called in two large with my bookie. 119 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,371 Okay. 120 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,639 Yeah, bitch! Come on! 121 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:45,506 Run! 122 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,675 Ooh, run! 123 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,112 Touchdown! 124 00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:53,147 Cover the spread, baby. 125 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,481 That's another big win for me. 126 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:58,252 And when I, Cousin Marissa, a.k.a. Morris the Magnificent 127 00:06:58,286 --> 00:07:01,188 the Mo Money, the Big Mo Pho-Wins, 128 00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:02,390 say it with me, cuz. 129 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,891 - I don't care! - We all win. 130 00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:05,092 You don't care. 131 00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:06,027 What the fuck? 132 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:07,194 What do you mean you don't care? 133 00:07:07,228 --> 00:07:08,396 What are you looking at? 134 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,496 My calendar. 135 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,934 It's been exactly a year since Denise and I broke up. 136 00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:14,035 Uh, you didn't break up. 137 00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,703 She dumped you in front of a homeless man. 138 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:16,837 What? 139 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,205 You have the date circled with a little heart drawn 140 00:07:18,239 --> 00:07:19,439 - cracked in half? - No! 141 00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:20,341 I just... 142 00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:21,876 It was a rhetorical fucking question. 143 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,678 My God! 144 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:24,779 All right! 145 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:27,248 Oh, if I had known this was gonna be a pity party, 146 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,684 I would have brought over a couple of bottles of wine, 147 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,419 some razors and we could have gotten drunk 148 00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,587 and shaved our vaginas together. 149 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,789 I thought we're gonna watch football. 150 00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:37,959 You do know what you're doing, don't you? 151 00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:39,360 Yes! I do, Morris! 152 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:40,594 I'm missing the girl I love. 153 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,063 Not missing, clinging. 154 00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:44,332 And as far as I am concerned, that is the kind 155 00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:46,367 of emotional behavior that makes me wanna disown you 156 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,002 from the family or at the very least 157 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,170 punch you in the face. 158 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,339 I can't help it if I'm not over our breakup. 159 00:07:51,372 --> 00:07:53,774 Again, not break up because she dumped you. 160 00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:54,942 What difference does it make? 161 00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:56,777 You're idealizing the relationship 162 00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:58,846 and you are idolizing her. 163 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,481 Do you think that she decided that night to end things? 164 00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:03,217 Anytime a woman breaks up with you, 165 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,986 that is months in the making. 166 00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:06,253 Years, even. 167 00:08:06,287 --> 00:08:08,789 I mean, men are just too stupid to see it coming. 168 00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:09,757 And what do you know about it? 169 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,993 I mean, your longest relationship has lasted 170 00:08:12,026 --> 00:08:13,060 no longer than a night. 171 00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:16,030 Okay, you're exaggerating a little bit. 172 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:19,000 I mean, like three, four hours tops. 173 00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:21,068 Pretty much midway through the third orgasm 174 00:08:21,102 --> 00:08:22,069 I am calling an Uber. 175 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,239 Davey, look. 176 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,109 You had her, you lost her, and now she's gone. 177 00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:29,310 Yeah? 178 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,912 Besides, if you really wanna pay Denise back, 179 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:35,483 best and most effective way to do that is to live 180 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,585 a happily ever after without her. 181 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,021 It's not about paying her back. 182 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:42,523 I just want her back. 183 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,060 I'm never gonna find someone as good as her again. 184 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,595 Bullshit! 185 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,163 The world is filled with beautiful women. 186 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:49,997 I should know. 187 00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:51,065 I have dated half of them. 188 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,168 Do you mean to tell me that your tiny corner 189 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,170 of Buffalo, New York turned out the best 190 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,638 possible girl for you? 191 00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,472 Your soul mate? 192 00:08:58,507 --> 00:08:59,840 I don't think it, I know it. 193 00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:03,177 All right, well, all I know is that this is not the Dave 194 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,645 that I know. 195 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,580 This is not the kid whose butt I wiped, 196 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,282 coddled, and kicked while growing up 197 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,451 and molded into a guy that was cool enough 198 00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,720 to hang out with me, you know what I mean? 199 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,955 My Dave would never have fallen so hard 200 00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,791 that he couldn't get back up again. 201 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:17,691 What can I say? 202 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,460 She's the one. 203 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,028 Well, so what are you gonna do about it? 204 00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:22,163 Hmm? 205 00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:23,030 Gonna be miserable the rest of your life? 206 00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:26,000 I don't know. 207 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,103 Give me your cell phone. 208 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,171 - What? - What? 209 00:09:30,204 --> 00:09:31,072 - What? - Phone. 210 00:09:31,105 --> 00:09:32,541 No! Why? 211 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,974 Give it to me! Give it to me! 212 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:34,942 Oh my God! 213 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,011 You still have this picture on your phone? 214 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,212 Wow! 215 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,514 When a selfie can capture true love like this, 216 00:09:39,548 --> 00:09:40,981 you have got to take pause. 217 00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,116 How many likes did this get again? 218 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,150 Can I have my phone back, please? 219 00:09:43,184 --> 00:09:44,785 Dave, this is for your own good. 220 00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:45,586 Please! 221 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,254 I'm begging you, move the fuck on! 222 00:09:47,288 --> 00:09:48,389 I can't! Okay? 223 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,958 I'm in too much pain. 224 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,094 No! 225 00:09:53,127 --> 00:09:54,328 That is pain. 226 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,729 Do not confuse it with misery. 227 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:56,597 That hurt! 228 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,699 Just illustrating a crucial point. 229 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,201 Pain is transitory. 230 00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:01,635 In a few minutes you are gonna feel much better, 231 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,138 but you're still going to be miserable. 232 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,408 I bet you have like a thousand photos of Denise 233 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,409 - on this phone. - Morris! 234 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,110 - Morris! No! - Yup! 235 00:10:09,143 --> 00:10:10,811 Hey! Hey, hey! 236 00:10:13,314 --> 00:10:15,749 Morris! 237 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,085 Let's just give it a second to get a nice sear. 238 00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:20,020 Damn it, Morris! 239 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,922 Ah, yes! 240 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:24,725 Yeah, smells done to me. 241 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:25,793 Oh. 242 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,768 Medium rare. 243 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,669 Aah. 244 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,138 It's all backed up on the Cloud, anyway. 245 00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:38,239 Oh, the Cloud. 246 00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:39,740 Well, Dave, that is beyond my reach. 247 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,342 It is up to the gods now to figure out 248 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,344 what to do with you. 249 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,012 Whoop! Brrr, it's cold! 250 00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:49,450 Fuck! 251 00:10:51,185 --> 00:10:52,286 Maybe give me a break, okay? 252 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,556 You know, show like a little bit of sympathy. 253 00:10:54,589 --> 00:10:56,123 David, you are like a brother to me 254 00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:57,458 and I would take a bullet for you, 255 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,628 but I will give you nothing that I haven't given you before, 256 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,862 which is the hard truth and tough love. 257 00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:04,265 So what if I have hope and I'm still holding on to it? 258 00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:05,600 You're a gambler, you have hunches you stick with, 259 00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:06,667 kind of the same thing, right? 260 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,537 No, no, no, no. I am a winning gambler. 261 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,505 I don't play hunches, I play the odds. 262 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,473 I play with statistical probability 263 00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:13,741 and scientific facts. 264 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,410 Where is the evidence that Denise wants you back, huh? 265 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,678 Just because you want her back, too? 266 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,080 No. There just still has to be a chance. 267 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,616 Sure there is. 268 00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:23,784 Why don't you give her a call? 269 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,952 Later. 270 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,308 The least you can do is say sorry. 271 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,820 You're a real asshole, you know. 272 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,725 You should clean that up. 273 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,561 You hipsters have already done enough 274 00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,697 to ruin the neighborhood. 275 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,303 Good morning, Mrs. Fishbaum. 276 00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:17,438 Perfect timing. 277 00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:20,341 Onion bagels just came out of the oven. 278 00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:24,011 Do you know that poppy seed shows up as heroin 279 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,479 in your blood? 280 00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:26,914 My son's a doctor. 281 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,115 He tells me these things. 282 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,383 That's very interesting. 283 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,654 I wouldn't want you to fail a drug test, David, 284 00:12:32,687 --> 00:12:35,022 because you ate a poppy seed bagel before. 285 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,491 I appreciate the tip, I will try to keep that in mind. 286 00:12:37,525 --> 00:12:41,228 A young man like you must do a lot of drugs 287 00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:43,698 to still work as a bagel boy. 288 00:12:43,732 --> 00:12:45,232 As I mentioned before, this is just 289 00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:46,568 a temporary situation while I'm still 290 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:47,935 in law school, Mrs. F. 291 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,538 Do you know that this coffee shop 292 00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:52,674 used to be a part of the old neighborhood 293 00:12:52,707 --> 00:12:54,074 Jewish Community Center? 294 00:12:56,844 --> 00:13:02,116 I met my husband right at that table. 295 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,622 Do you know what I hope for, David? 296 00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:13,460 I hope I'll see him sitting there again. 297 00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:18,499 What would you say to him? 298 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:22,537 Oh, I love you. 299 00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,238 I hate you. 300 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,909 Oh, I miss you. 301 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:33,782 - I'm horny. - Okay. 302 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,693 All right. 303 00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:54,703 Yeah, send an ambulance to the corner of Grant 304 00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:58,740 and Elmwood, there's been an accident. 305 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,944 David, have you ever met my granddaughter? 306 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,717 Too bad for you, David, she's gay. 307 00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,851 Based on her past relationships, 308 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,655 she has very low standards. 309 00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,790 In fact, she would have gone out with you even though 310 00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:17,692 you just make bagels for living. 311 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,960 Just a temporary situation, Mrs. F. 312 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:24,131 I don't do as many drugs as you, but I do smoke marijuana 313 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,736 for my arthritis, my glaucoma. 314 00:14:27,769 --> 00:14:30,037 Maybe we could get high together sometime. 315 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,071 Hmm? 316 00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:34,509 On second thought, you probably couldn't handle 317 00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,611 the shit I smoke. 318 00:14:36,644 --> 00:14:38,045 Mrs. Fishbaum, I bet Snoop Dogg 319 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,848 couldn't handle the shit you smoke. 320 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,931 Let's get this show on the road. 321 00:15:00,835 --> 00:15:02,637 Love! 322 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,540 Fuck! 323 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,447 Oh my God, I am so sorry. 324 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,482 Are you all right? 325 00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:16,917 I am now. 326 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,586 Hello. 327 00:15:51,619 --> 00:15:53,855 If you came here to give me more grief, go home. 328 00:15:53,888 --> 00:15:56,190 - I don't need it. - No. 329 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,726 I came here to apologize. 330 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,695 I was really rough on you and I am sorry. 331 00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,797 You cremated my damn cell phone. 332 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,097 Let me make amends. 333 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,600 Fly to Vegas with me. 334 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,335 Dude, I will take care of everything. 335 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,504 We can leave tonight. 336 00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,371 I can't just fly to Vegas, okay? 337 00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,006 Unlike you, I have responsibilities. 338 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,643 Oh, come on, I'm trying to make nice here. 339 00:16:15,677 --> 00:16:17,712 Vegas will make you forget all about the fact 340 00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:19,814 that you don't have Denise to fuck anymore. 341 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,148 Huh? 342 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,984 Oh, he is a very smooth lover. 343 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:24,985 Yeah. 344 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,788 I'm... I'm his cousin, so I wouldn't know but... 345 00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:28,989 enjoy your latte. 346 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,192 Why must you reduce everything to its basis element? 347 00:16:32,226 --> 00:16:33,828 Mm, at its basis, 348 00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:36,497 not having sex with Denise is what you miss the most. 349 00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:37,297 Well, it's not. 350 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,298 It's much more than that. 351 00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:39,366 All right, it's her. 352 00:16:41,235 --> 00:16:44,438 Okay, you're telling me, Denise comes walking 353 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,107 through that door right now, she says, "Dave, I'm back, 354 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,577 but you can never sleep with me again." 355 00:16:49,611 --> 00:16:50,845 You're honestly gonna accept that? 356 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,113 You cannot be that far gone? 357 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,716 Can you? 358 00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:57,919 No, I'm not, but that's not the point. 359 00:16:57,952 --> 00:17:00,153 It is the only point that matter. 360 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,590 Stay! 361 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,329 David! 362 00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:12,432 If you don't believe me, maybe you will believe 363 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,268 the magic bagel. 364 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,303 Whoomp! 365 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,672 Whoomp! 366 00:17:17,705 --> 00:17:21,375 The magic bagel sees all and tells all, 367 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,510 "Come boy. 368 00:17:22,544 --> 00:17:23,645 Come, come, come. 369 00:17:23,678 --> 00:17:26,814 The magic bagel will not be denied." 370 00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:28,048 You are certifiable. 371 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,951 - Okay, you looking? - Yes, I'm looking. 372 00:17:29,984 --> 00:17:33,420 Well, now, magic bagel predicts that you will have 373 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,989 an amazing time in Vegas. 374 00:17:35,023 --> 00:17:37,190 And in fact, if you don't, a curse will befall you 375 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:41,228 and you might end up dead or worse have no fun. 376 00:17:44,699 --> 00:17:46,233 Wow. 377 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,770 Magic bagel doesn't lie. 378 00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:52,339 Life is short, Dave, and you only get one. 379 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,442 Get on with the good times, huh? 380 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,144 Ew, gross. 381 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,025 Never again. 382 00:18:11,059 --> 00:18:12,760 Well, never again. 383 00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:19,299 You know, it's been a year since Dave and I broke up. 384 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,435 You mean it's been a year since you dumped him 385 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,571 in front of a homeless man? 386 00:18:23,605 --> 00:18:24,973 He was a great guy, though. 387 00:18:25,006 --> 00:18:26,874 Yeah, a great guy who you may think 388 00:18:26,908 --> 00:18:28,943 you would marry and then kicked in the gut 389 00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,143 and ripped his heart out. 390 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,714 Well, I don't understand why he never tried 391 00:18:32,747 --> 00:18:35,115 to see me again. 392 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,651 I'm just saying. 393 00:18:36,684 --> 00:18:38,352 What if I made the wrong decision? 394 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:41,623 What if there's something left unfinished between me and Dave? 395 00:18:41,656 --> 00:18:42,590 Denise! 396 00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,659 Girl, I'm your best friend. 397 00:18:44,692 --> 00:18:47,160 I support you a thousand percent. 398 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,363 I know it's an emotional time for you right now 399 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,666 and your heart can play tricks on you. 400 00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:55,369 But if you think your subconscious is really 401 00:18:55,402 --> 00:19:00,541 telling you something, maybe you should listen. 402 00:19:35,677 --> 00:19:36,911 Now pay attention. 403 00:19:36,944 --> 00:19:38,478 There are a lot of hotties here. 404 00:19:38,513 --> 00:19:41,082 Ooh, anxious to help you mend your broken heart 405 00:19:41,115 --> 00:19:43,417 just so they can experience the sheer joy of smashing it 406 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,552 into pieces again. 407 00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:46,087 Perfect. 408 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,355 Can you just try to forget about your depressing obsession 409 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:51,291 with Denise for a little while and have some fun? 410 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,260 Fun, fun, fun! 411 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,295 Remind me what's so fun about approaching one girl 412 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,364 after another, yelling some bogus rap 413 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,466 over loud music in the hopes that she'll give me the honor 414 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,736 of buying her a drink, which she'll likely refuse, 415 00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:02,770 anyway. 416 00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:04,138 I guarantee you, every girl in there 417 00:20:04,172 --> 00:20:05,439 will let you buy her a drink. 418 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,041 Yeah? And why is that? 419 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,443 Hmm, 30 bucks each, they will let you buy them two. 420 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,945 Yeah? Why not? 421 00:20:10,978 --> 00:20:13,081 Broke, heartbroken, and I got to wait in line 422 00:20:13,114 --> 00:20:15,750 an hour for some place that I don't wanna be in? 423 00:20:15,783 --> 00:20:16,784 You know what? 424 00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:17,985 You're right, this line does suck. 425 00:20:18,019 --> 00:20:21,656 And I am far from wasted enough not to care. 426 00:20:21,689 --> 00:20:23,791 Yeah. All right, I'm gonna take a walk, 427 00:20:23,825 --> 00:20:25,126 smoke some, play a little blackjack 428 00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:27,795 while you hold our place in line. 429 00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:29,130 Dude, if you want, you can come with, 430 00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:30,531 we can get back and do this later. 431 00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:31,966 Just go. 432 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,266 I don't wanna prolong this torture any longer 433 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:33,968 than I have to. 434 00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:36,470 How are you related to me? 435 00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:37,872 Oh my God. 436 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,343 You know, if it were me trying to get over somebody, 437 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,947 getting high sounds like a pretty good start. 438 00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,549 I can hold your place in line. 439 00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:51,119 Thanks. Uh, I think I'll wait it out here. 440 00:20:51,152 --> 00:20:52,086 You know, long lines are actually why 441 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,655 I sometimes go clubbing. 442 00:20:54,689 --> 00:20:56,624 - Seriously? - Sure. 443 00:20:56,657 --> 00:20:58,358 Best place to meet somebody isn't inside where it's nothing 444 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,828 but bullshit pickup lines from conceited jerks 445 00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,630 trying to act cool. 446 00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:04,031 It's out here. 447 00:21:04,065 --> 00:21:07,168 Before everyone has a chance to put their club faces on. 448 00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:08,703 So if we were in there, you'd think I was a jerk 449 00:21:08,736 --> 00:21:11,706 but out here, I'm still a contender? 450 00:21:11,739 --> 00:21:13,040 I don't know yet. 451 00:21:13,074 --> 00:21:14,509 How convincing is your club face? 452 00:21:20,081 --> 00:21:21,916 Hey, baby. 453 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,551 How would you like to have a drink with the king? 454 00:21:23,584 --> 00:21:25,318 Elvis, really? 455 00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,054 Are you trying to pick up my grandmother? 456 00:21:27,088 --> 00:21:28,723 You can't say no to Elvis in Vegas. 457 00:21:30,525 --> 00:21:31,491 Okay. 458 00:21:31,526 --> 00:21:32,459 All right. 459 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:36,429 Okay. 460 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,932 How's this? 461 00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:43,037 I couldn't help but notice you from the moment 462 00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:45,640 I saw you outside in line. 463 00:21:45,673 --> 00:21:48,609 I think it's your smile or maybe your eyes. 464 00:21:48,643 --> 00:21:51,913 But whatever it is, 465 00:21:51,946 --> 00:21:56,117 I'd really like to buy you a drink. 466 00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:59,452 And who's that supposed to be? 467 00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,923 Just me. 468 00:22:01,956 --> 00:22:03,390 Not bad, just you. 469 00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:06,194 I'm still not letting you buy me a drink though. 470 00:22:07,562 --> 00:22:10,598 No, again? 471 00:22:10,631 --> 00:22:11,566 That was my best shot. 472 00:22:11,599 --> 00:22:14,502 Like I said, clubs aren't really my thing. 473 00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:21,709 I will let you buy me a big piece of chocolate cake. 474 00:22:23,144 --> 00:22:24,212 That sounds delicious, 475 00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:27,148 but I don't think that they serve that here. 476 00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:29,482 - They don't. - Hmm. 477 00:22:29,517 --> 00:22:31,652 You can order it from room service. 478 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,723 Second thoughts? 479 00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:37,024 Sounds tempting. 480 00:22:37,058 --> 00:22:39,093 I mean, you're... you're gorgeous 481 00:22:39,126 --> 00:22:43,396 but it doesn't really jibe with my long-term plans. 482 00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:44,765 I see. 483 00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,433 We really can just eat cake. 484 00:22:48,336 --> 00:22:49,704 That would be okay with you? 485 00:22:49,737 --> 00:22:51,138 Definitely. 486 00:22:51,172 --> 00:22:52,240 What about your friend? 487 00:22:52,273 --> 00:22:53,674 Cousin. Morris. Don't worry. 488 00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:56,043 She always finds something to keep herself entertained. 489 00:22:56,077 --> 00:22:57,245 Besides, when she sees I'm gone, 490 00:22:57,278 --> 00:22:59,479 she'll just assume I went to the hotel to be alone. 491 00:22:59,513 --> 00:23:03,885 Well, she'll only be half right then. 492 00:23:12,126 --> 00:23:13,661 Still can't believe you're from Buffalo. 493 00:23:15,830 --> 00:23:18,032 Believe it or not, it's on my birth certificate. 494 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:24,205 You really were okay with just eating cake, huh? 495 00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:25,773 Chocolate cake has brought me far more pleasure 496 00:23:25,806 --> 00:23:27,407 than most men ever have. 497 00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:36,918 Maybe you're dating the wrong men. 498 00:24:40,414 --> 00:24:41,382 Hello? 499 00:24:41,415 --> 00:24:43,351 What the hell happened to you last night? 500 00:24:43,384 --> 00:24:45,386 I waited in that line for like ever 501 00:24:45,419 --> 00:24:47,855 only to not find you when I got inside. 502 00:24:47,888 --> 00:24:48,956 I never went in. 503 00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:50,091 I knew it! 504 00:24:50,124 --> 00:24:52,293 You went running to hide in your hotel room. 505 00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:55,863 Well, serves you right because we had a crazy time. 506 00:24:55,896 --> 00:24:57,264 Ooh! 507 00:24:57,298 --> 00:24:59,700 Those Cirque du Soleil people really know how to party. 508 00:25:00,835 --> 00:25:02,737 Ow! Hey, hold up, Dave. 509 00:25:04,472 --> 00:25:06,440 Au revoir, mademoiselle. 510 00:25:07,808 --> 00:25:08,976 Your Uber is on the way. 511 00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:11,946 Oh, merci mon cheri, Morris. 512 00:25:11,979 --> 00:25:13,647 I will see you later, no? 513 00:25:13,681 --> 00:25:15,082 Oh, ew, yeah. 514 00:25:15,116 --> 00:25:17,084 Oui, oui, why not? 515 00:25:17,118 --> 00:25:18,652 Hey, that Celine Dion roleplaying thing 516 00:25:18,686 --> 00:25:19,820 we did last night, yo... 517 00:25:19,854 --> 00:25:20,755 , 518 00:25:20,788 --> 00:25:22,256 mind blowing. 519 00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:28,129 I have a newfound appreciation for the French-Canadian culture. 520 00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:30,798 Do you wanna go to a Celine Dion concert 521 00:25:30,831 --> 00:25:31,699 with me tonight? 522 00:25:31,732 --> 00:25:32,833 Are you still high? 523 00:25:32,867 --> 00:25:35,436 No, I don't wanna go anywhere. 524 00:25:35,469 --> 00:25:37,506 David, I didn't fly you to Vegas so you could hide 525 00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:38,939 in your hotel room and whack off 526 00:25:38,973 --> 00:25:40,474 to memories of Denise. 527 00:25:42,511 --> 00:25:43,911 Not that it matters but I wasn't by myself 528 00:25:43,944 --> 00:25:45,546 last night, okay? 529 00:25:45,579 --> 00:25:47,381 Came back here with a girl I met in line. 530 00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:48,916 Oh. Wait, wait, wait. 531 00:25:48,949 --> 00:25:50,151 Wait. Wait, what? 532 00:25:50,184 --> 00:25:51,085 What? 533 00:25:51,118 --> 00:25:52,753 You picked up a chick in line? 534 00:25:52,787 --> 00:25:53,821 Oh my God. 535 00:25:53,854 --> 00:25:54,955 Hallelujah! 536 00:25:54,989 --> 00:25:57,058 David has risen from the dead 537 00:25:57,091 --> 00:25:58,325 and he's back in the game, folks! 538 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,228 It's an erection, a resurrection! 539 00:26:01,262 --> 00:26:02,763 - Morris? - Oh my God. 540 00:26:02,797 --> 00:26:03,497 Which one was it? 541 00:26:03,532 --> 00:26:04,899 I wanna guess, don't tell me. 542 00:26:04,932 --> 00:26:06,033 Hmm. 543 00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:08,369 Tall brunette, tight jeans, red top. 544 00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:09,504 Standing right in front of us? 545 00:26:10,571 --> 00:26:12,106 Yes? 546 00:26:12,139 --> 00:26:14,642 Dude, I approve! 547 00:26:14,675 --> 00:26:16,477 And would totally take that action. 548 00:26:16,511 --> 00:26:17,478 Her name is Stella. 549 00:26:17,512 --> 00:26:19,113 Believe it or not, she's from Buffalo. 550 00:26:19,146 --> 00:26:22,316 And there wasn't supposed to be any action, we just came back 551 00:26:22,349 --> 00:26:26,120 to the room to hang and talk, but she was really nice 552 00:26:26,153 --> 00:26:28,122 and one thing led to another... 553 00:26:28,155 --> 00:26:29,890 And yeah, yeah, yeah? 554 00:26:29,924 --> 00:26:34,628 Now, I'm so riddled with guilt, I feel sick. 555 00:26:34,662 --> 00:26:37,264 If Denise was to ever find out about the... 556 00:26:37,298 --> 00:26:40,267 it'd blow our shot of getting back together. 557 00:26:40,301 --> 00:26:41,368 Hm-hmm. 558 00:26:41,402 --> 00:26:42,603 Okay, wait, wait, wait. 559 00:26:42,636 --> 00:26:45,540 Now, you are telling me that you feel guilty, 560 00:26:45,574 --> 00:26:48,042 because you think you betrayed Denise by being 561 00:26:48,075 --> 00:26:49,578 with someone else last night. 562 00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:50,878 Yes. 563 00:26:50,911 --> 00:26:52,780 Ohh, okay. 564 00:26:52,813 --> 00:26:54,549 You know what? See somebody, Dave. 565 00:26:54,583 --> 00:26:56,750 See someone immediately with a lot of fancy diplomas 566 00:26:56,784 --> 00:26:58,819 on the wall and a very liberal approach 567 00:26:58,853 --> 00:27:00,187 to shock therapy. 568 00:27:00,221 --> 00:27:02,022 Dude, she's your ex. 569 00:27:02,056 --> 00:27:03,624 Man, your ex-girlfriend. 570 00:27:03,657 --> 00:27:05,793 Like in order for it to be cheating, 571 00:27:05,826 --> 00:27:07,428 you have to actually be in a relationship 572 00:27:07,461 --> 00:27:08,597 with that person. 573 00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:11,198 Like how is this concept entirely lost on you? 574 00:27:11,232 --> 00:27:12,567 I don't expect you to understand. 575 00:27:12,601 --> 00:27:15,035 Guilt isn't something you're exactly familiar with. 576 00:27:15,069 --> 00:27:16,337 Hmm, all right. 577 00:27:16,370 --> 00:27:18,906 I feel guilty about not feeling guilty, 578 00:27:18,939 --> 00:27:21,775 so, I mean, that should count for something, right? 579 00:27:21,809 --> 00:27:24,111 Has it ever occurred to you that while you are feeling 580 00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:27,348 so sick over betraying Denise that she is out there 581 00:27:27,381 --> 00:27:28,749 screwing someone else? 582 00:27:28,782 --> 00:27:32,720 I don't even want to think about that. 583 00:27:32,753 --> 00:27:34,589 Maybe you should. 584 00:27:34,623 --> 00:27:36,056 Maybe you should, Dave! 585 00:27:36,090 --> 00:27:37,458 You know. 586 00:27:37,491 --> 00:27:40,629 You think Denise took a vow of celibacy when she left you? 587 00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:41,896 Ha-ha, no! 588 00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:44,265 Denise is right in the middle of her, 589 00:27:44,298 --> 00:27:47,434 "I am free to fuck whoever I want" world tour. 590 00:27:47,468 --> 00:27:48,537 I mean, you should check her Instagram, 591 00:27:48,570 --> 00:27:50,137 because she's probably selling T-shirts. 592 00:27:56,677 --> 00:27:59,780 I refuse to accept that it's over for us. 593 00:28:01,715 --> 00:28:02,850 Come back later. 594 00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:06,220 I said come back later! 595 00:28:08,189 --> 00:28:09,591 I'm getting her back, Morris. 596 00:28:09,624 --> 00:28:12,126 I'm getting Denise back. 597 00:28:12,159 --> 00:28:14,161 I give up, little cousin. 598 00:28:14,195 --> 00:28:15,963 You are living on hope and I'm afraid 599 00:28:15,996 --> 00:28:19,133 you're gonna starve to death. 600 00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:21,235 You can't make her love you, Dave. 601 00:28:21,268 --> 00:28:22,671 No one can. 602 00:28:26,273 --> 00:28:27,676 This is a really good cake. 603 00:28:51,098 --> 00:28:52,567 Aah. 604 00:28:55,002 --> 00:28:56,203 Yo! 605 00:28:56,237 --> 00:28:57,204 Hmmm... 606 00:28:57,238 --> 00:28:59,840 You keep crawling out of the hole. 607 00:28:59,873 --> 00:29:00,508 - Oh, okay. - Whoop! 608 00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:02,176 - Whoop! - Bam! 609 00:29:03,578 --> 00:29:05,246 You have been hibernating since we came back from Vegas. 610 00:29:05,279 --> 00:29:06,380 I feel much better. 611 00:29:06,413 --> 00:29:08,115 I got a new perspective on the situation. 612 00:29:08,148 --> 00:29:09,817 - Yeah? - Hmmm. 613 00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:11,051 Okay, now. 614 00:29:11,085 --> 00:29:12,219 This... 615 00:29:12,253 --> 00:29:13,854 This is what I like to hear, man. 616 00:29:13,887 --> 00:29:14,788 Okay. 617 00:29:14,822 --> 00:29:16,123 Listen, if it was something that I said. 618 00:29:16,156 --> 00:29:17,258 - Mm-mm. - You're welcome. 619 00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:20,294 But if not, I don't even care because you are back. 620 00:29:20,327 --> 00:29:22,029 We got to celebrate. 621 00:29:22,062 --> 00:29:23,230 Two shots of bourbon, please. 622 00:29:23,264 --> 00:29:25,099 And thank you. 623 00:29:25,132 --> 00:29:26,934 - That a new haircut? - No. 624 00:29:26,967 --> 00:29:29,403 Dude, isn't he cute? 625 00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:32,172 To my Cousin Dave. 626 00:29:32,206 --> 00:29:33,340 Welcome back. 627 00:29:33,374 --> 00:29:35,175 - You were sorely missed. - Mhmm. 628 00:29:35,209 --> 00:29:36,110 - One more toast. - Mhmm. 629 00:29:36,143 --> 00:29:37,211 To Denise. 630 00:29:37,244 --> 00:29:41,248 Who at this very moment is right across the street. 631 00:29:41,282 --> 00:29:42,783 - Across the street? - Yup. 632 00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,619 That's your new perspective? 633 00:29:44,653 --> 00:29:46,453 You just decided to stalk her? 634 00:29:46,487 --> 00:29:50,057 No, I simply am not waiting for her to come back. 635 00:29:50,090 --> 00:29:51,091 No more waiting. 636 00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:52,226 I'm going to her. 637 00:29:52,259 --> 00:29:53,827 I called in at the florist that she works at and said 638 00:29:53,861 --> 00:29:56,230 that she quit to go work at Clara's Catering. 639 00:29:56,263 --> 00:29:57,565 I went over there. 640 00:29:57,599 --> 00:29:59,433 They said they're all working at church function today. 641 00:29:59,466 --> 00:30:01,603 That church. 642 00:30:01,636 --> 00:30:04,673 So now you're gonna go over there and just talk to her. 643 00:30:04,706 --> 00:30:06,608 - Yeah, I have to. - Okay. 644 00:30:06,641 --> 00:30:09,243 David, there are only a certain few things 645 00:30:09,276 --> 00:30:13,847 that people have to do in life; shit, breathe, eat, and sleep. 646 00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:18,419 Emasculation, degradation, uh-uh-uh-uh, humiliation, 647 00:30:18,452 --> 00:30:19,788 these are all totally voluntary. 648 00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,922 There's no talking me out of this, okay? 649 00:30:21,955 --> 00:30:22,791 I have to go to her. 650 00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:24,224 I have to tell her that I love her. 651 00:30:24,258 --> 00:30:25,326 That I would do anything for her. 652 00:30:25,359 --> 00:30:26,695 That our love is magical. 653 00:30:26,728 --> 00:30:28,028 Magical. 654 00:30:28,062 --> 00:30:29,096 Oh, yeah. 655 00:30:29,129 --> 00:30:30,632 Can you just get some more? 656 00:30:30,665 --> 00:30:35,670 David, where did you get this profoundly unrealistic 657 00:30:35,704 --> 00:30:38,372 vision of love, man? 658 00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:39,306 You know, a year ago, 659 00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:40,441 I would have said the same thing. 660 00:30:40,474 --> 00:30:41,609 I expressed the same thing to Denise the night 661 00:30:41,643 --> 00:30:42,811 that she left me. 662 00:30:42,843 --> 00:30:45,714 But she was right and I was wrong. 663 00:30:45,747 --> 00:30:47,281 She needs that movie moment from me. 664 00:30:47,314 --> 00:30:48,482 Mhmm. 665 00:30:48,516 --> 00:30:50,084 So, now you're gonna go over there and see her. 666 00:30:50,117 --> 00:30:51,051 - Yeah. - Yeah? 667 00:30:51,085 --> 00:30:52,286 Yeah! 668 00:30:52,319 --> 00:30:54,321 This grand gesture of love that Denise cannot 669 00:30:54,355 --> 00:30:56,090 - possibly refuse. - Yeah! 670 00:30:56,123 --> 00:30:56,890 - Yeah? - Yeah! 671 00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:57,759 Yeah. 672 00:30:57,792 --> 00:31:00,027 Okay, I've got news for you, Davie. 673 00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:02,262 Cupid does not exist. 674 00:31:02,296 --> 00:31:03,698 He doesn't, I'm sorry. 675 00:31:03,732 --> 00:31:05,466 And if he did, he certainly wouldn't be 676 00:31:05,499 --> 00:31:08,603 some freak pudgy guy in a diaper running around 677 00:31:08,636 --> 00:31:10,638 bringing people together who are destined to spend 678 00:31:10,672 --> 00:31:12,306 eternity with one another. 679 00:31:12,339 --> 00:31:13,541 I mean, think about it. 680 00:31:13,575 --> 00:31:15,610 With divorce, adultery? 681 00:31:15,643 --> 00:31:18,412 As far as I am concerned, he is a sick sadistic loser 682 00:31:18,445 --> 00:31:19,413 with a short guy complex. 683 00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:21,281 Hmmm. 684 00:31:21,315 --> 00:31:23,083 Okay. 685 00:31:23,117 --> 00:31:23,917 Look. 686 00:31:23,951 --> 00:31:26,420 If you're really set on doing this, 687 00:31:26,453 --> 00:31:28,322 then just do it right. 688 00:31:28,355 --> 00:31:30,357 Talk to her, lay it all on the line, 689 00:31:30,391 --> 00:31:35,663 but whatever happens, you got to live with it, yeah? 690 00:31:35,697 --> 00:31:36,897 Jesus Christ. 691 00:31:36,930 --> 00:31:38,098 Okay. 692 00:31:38,132 --> 00:31:43,103 Darling, will you please, please keep the drinks coming. 693 00:31:43,137 --> 00:31:45,272 Thank you. 694 00:31:46,306 --> 00:31:48,576 Well, if the booze doesn't give you 695 00:31:48,610 --> 00:31:50,911 a little liquid courage, then maybe you'll get lucky 696 00:31:50,944 --> 00:31:53,046 and pass out drunk before you make it to the door. 697 00:32:03,457 --> 00:32:04,859 Here's to happy endings! 698 00:32:08,095 --> 00:32:09,163 So you live around here? 699 00:32:16,403 --> 00:32:18,873 Are you trying to pick me up? 700 00:32:18,907 --> 00:32:20,207 What? 701 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,341 No, no. 702 00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:22,777 Of course not. 703 00:32:22,811 --> 00:32:25,045 Why do you wanna know where I live? 704 00:32:25,078 --> 00:32:26,848 You wanna come around and have a barbeque 705 00:32:26,881 --> 00:32:28,616 - or something? - Trying to make conversation. 706 00:32:28,650 --> 00:32:29,818 Try harder. 707 00:32:29,851 --> 00:32:31,318 Sorry? 708 00:32:31,351 --> 00:32:32,821 Why are you sorry? 709 00:32:32,854 --> 00:32:36,056 Sorry about my attempt to make conversation? 710 00:32:36,089 --> 00:32:39,661 Why should you be concerned whether I find your conversation 711 00:32:39,694 --> 00:32:40,829 interesting or not? 712 00:32:40,862 --> 00:32:41,763 I'm not. 713 00:32:43,363 --> 00:32:44,231 Do I know you? 714 00:32:44,264 --> 00:32:46,033 Do you think you know me? 715 00:32:46,066 --> 00:32:47,201 No, but... 716 00:32:47,234 --> 00:32:48,969 Then you probably don't. 717 00:32:55,242 --> 00:32:57,377 Don't you have to do something somewhere? 718 00:32:57,411 --> 00:32:59,046 Ah... 719 00:32:59,079 --> 00:33:00,147 Oh! 720 00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:01,048 Yeah. 721 00:33:01,081 --> 00:33:03,551 Then go do it. 722 00:33:03,585 --> 00:33:05,085 Yeah. 723 00:33:46,528 --> 00:33:47,629 Excuse me. 724 00:33:47,662 --> 00:33:49,797 I'm looking for Denise, Denise Rubino? 725 00:33:49,831 --> 00:33:51,533 Someone said she was working here today? 726 00:33:51,566 --> 00:33:53,033 Not today she isn't. 727 00:33:55,068 --> 00:33:57,304 Hey, I just said she wasn't working today. 728 00:33:57,337 --> 00:33:59,507 I didn't say she wasn't here. 729 00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:02,476 Be careful, this place is a maze. 730 00:34:02,510 --> 00:34:04,378 You may not find your way back. 731 00:34:15,122 --> 00:34:16,791 Well, was I right? 732 00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:18,726 She looks like a fairy tale. 733 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:19,561 Aw. 734 00:34:24,331 --> 00:34:27,434 Oh shit! 735 00:34:27,467 --> 00:34:28,703 What was that? 736 00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:36,209 David? 737 00:34:36,243 --> 00:34:37,745 David Steinbeck. 738 00:34:37,779 --> 00:34:39,013 Oh God. 739 00:34:39,047 --> 00:34:40,213 Oh, boy. 740 00:34:40,247 --> 00:34:41,049 Dave? 741 00:34:42,717 --> 00:34:43,651 Excuse me. 742 00:34:43,685 --> 00:34:44,752 How long has he been like this? 743 00:34:44,786 --> 00:34:48,121 About half hour, 45 minutes? 744 00:34:48,155 --> 00:34:50,625 Maybe he's autistic or something. 745 00:34:50,658 --> 00:34:52,259 PTSD. 746 00:34:52,292 --> 00:34:54,729 My uncle looked just like that when he came back from Nam. 747 00:34:54,762 --> 00:34:56,463 When you're finished diagnosing the patient, 748 00:34:56,496 --> 00:34:57,899 can I have another one? 749 00:34:57,932 --> 00:34:59,466 - Hmm. - Hey. 750 00:34:59,499 --> 00:35:00,467 Hi, it's me Morris. 751 00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,436 Try to remember why you left me the voicemail? 752 00:35:02,469 --> 00:35:04,939 All I could make out was some grunting and something 753 00:35:04,973 --> 00:35:06,440 about fucking Faye Dunaway. 754 00:35:06,473 --> 00:35:07,909 Denise's fucking wedding day. 755 00:35:07,942 --> 00:35:08,843 What? Come again? 756 00:35:08,876 --> 00:35:12,412 Denise's fucking wedding day! 757 00:35:12,446 --> 00:35:14,882 Oh. 758 00:35:14,916 --> 00:35:16,884 I mean, that does sound like fucking Faye Dunaway. 759 00:35:18,285 --> 00:35:19,453 She's getting married. 760 00:35:19,486 --> 00:35:22,724 Morris, she's getting married in just a couple of hours. 761 00:35:22,757 --> 00:35:24,792 What did she say when she saw you? 762 00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:26,861 She didn't see me, I ran away. 763 00:35:26,894 --> 00:35:28,763 Yeah, play hard to get, that's... 764 00:35:28,796 --> 00:35:31,298 Well, listen, Dave. 765 00:35:31,331 --> 00:35:32,800 I know this won't make sense right now 766 00:35:32,834 --> 00:35:34,836 and it might not make sense for a very long time 767 00:35:34,869 --> 00:35:36,704 but I promise, this is the best thing 768 00:35:36,738 --> 00:35:39,139 that could ever happened to you. 769 00:35:39,172 --> 00:35:41,241 My soul mate is getting married and you think 770 00:35:41,274 --> 00:35:43,544 that this the best thing that could ever happen to me? 771 00:35:43,578 --> 00:35:44,712 Yeah, I absolutely do. 772 00:35:44,746 --> 00:35:46,446 - And you wanna know why? - No! 773 00:35:48,783 --> 00:35:51,886 Why is she marrying someone else? 774 00:35:51,919 --> 00:35:54,889 This is just a stab in the dark, but, 775 00:35:54,922 --> 00:35:56,824 I mean, maybe she is in love with the guy. 776 00:35:56,858 --> 00:35:59,493 Oh, no, no. 777 00:36:01,896 --> 00:36:03,163 All right, you know what? Let's go. 778 00:36:03,196 --> 00:36:04,799 We got to get you at least a 100 feet away 779 00:36:04,832 --> 00:36:06,134 from wherever Denise is getting married. 780 00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:07,434 - All right. - Come on. 781 00:36:07,467 --> 00:36:08,603 You have to help me to the men's room first. 782 00:36:08,636 --> 00:36:09,704 I'mma throw up. 783 00:36:09,737 --> 00:36:10,938 Okay, we can do that. 784 00:36:10,972 --> 00:36:12,573 We can do that. 785 00:36:12,607 --> 00:36:14,042 Here we go. Come on. 786 00:36:14,075 --> 00:36:14,809 Oh, boy. 787 00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,544 Come on. 788 00:36:16,577 --> 00:36:17,845 Okay. 789 00:36:17,879 --> 00:36:18,846 There we go. 790 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,014 There we go. 791 00:36:25,252 --> 00:36:28,221 Well, ain't it just nice to have someone to lean on 792 00:36:28,255 --> 00:36:29,857 in time of need. 793 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,629 Weren't you just sitting down at the bar? 794 00:36:34,662 --> 00:36:36,030 You're the piss monitor? 795 00:36:36,064 --> 00:36:37,031 No. 796 00:36:37,065 --> 00:36:40,034 I just... I didn't see you get up or walk by. 797 00:36:40,068 --> 00:36:41,903 I'm the fucking invisible man. 798 00:36:41,936 --> 00:36:43,538 Now, can I get past you to my drink, please 799 00:36:43,571 --> 00:36:46,941 or do I have to wait until he pukes on my kicks? 800 00:36:50,545 --> 00:36:53,313 - Excuse me. - Okay. 801 00:36:53,346 --> 00:36:54,448 Okay. 802 00:36:54,481 --> 00:36:55,616 There you go. 803 00:36:55,650 --> 00:36:57,118 Oh. Oh, boy. 804 00:36:59,020 --> 00:37:00,588 Hold your ponytail. 805 00:37:03,457 --> 00:37:04,324 Yup. 806 00:37:04,357 --> 00:37:06,961 Try not to fall in when you bend over. 807 00:37:11,099 --> 00:37:13,034 Somebody forget to flush. 808 00:37:13,067 --> 00:37:14,068 Let's get out of here. 809 00:37:14,102 --> 00:37:15,335 I thought you want to throw up. 810 00:37:15,368 --> 00:37:17,672 I'm fine. Let's get out of here. 811 00:37:17,705 --> 00:37:18,573 I thought you had to throw up. 812 00:37:18,606 --> 00:37:19,707 I'm fine. Let's go, now! 813 00:37:19,741 --> 00:37:20,942 Whoa, whoa. What did you see? 814 00:37:20,975 --> 00:37:22,375 What's in the stall, man? 815 00:37:28,750 --> 00:37:29,650 Oh, God! 816 00:37:29,684 --> 00:37:32,854 Who the hell is that? 817 00:37:32,887 --> 00:37:33,888 Why is he wearing a tuxedo? 818 00:37:33,921 --> 00:37:35,156 I... I don't know! Okay? 819 00:37:35,189 --> 00:37:36,624 Let's just go before the same thing happens to us! 820 00:37:36,657 --> 00:37:37,859 Who would do that to us? 821 00:37:37,892 --> 00:37:39,392 Jesus, who would do that to him? 822 00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:40,862 You're the gambler but my money is on the crazy 823 00:37:40,895 --> 00:37:42,329 English fucker at the bar! 824 00:37:42,362 --> 00:37:43,698 The guy who came out as we were coming in. 825 00:37:43,731 --> 00:37:44,832 No way. 826 00:37:44,866 --> 00:37:48,569 But I bet you're right. 827 00:37:48,603 --> 00:37:49,436 What? 828 00:37:51,005 --> 00:37:52,206 Would you come? 829 00:37:57,344 --> 00:37:58,579 Okay, but why would he still be sitting out there 830 00:37:58,613 --> 00:38:00,081 if nothing happened? 831 00:38:00,114 --> 00:38:01,314 Wait, what if we're wrong? 832 00:38:01,348 --> 00:38:03,217 What if he just had to go to bathroom 833 00:38:03,251 --> 00:38:05,153 and doesn't even know anything about the other guy in here. 834 00:38:05,186 --> 00:38:06,419 Do you really wanna stay and find out? 835 00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:09,824 What? We can't just walk right out past him now. 836 00:38:09,857 --> 00:38:11,058 If he did do it, then he will assume 837 00:38:11,092 --> 00:38:11,993 that we saw something. 838 00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:13,528 Shit, he's coming. 839 00:38:13,561 --> 00:38:14,494 Go, go! 840 00:38:14,529 --> 00:38:15,630 He's coming. 841 00:38:16,864 --> 00:38:17,965 Oh, okay. 842 00:38:17,999 --> 00:38:18,866 Let's find... 843 00:38:18,900 --> 00:38:20,433 Window! Window now! 844 00:38:20,467 --> 00:38:21,769 Houdini couldn't escape through that. 845 00:38:21,803 --> 00:38:23,504 Okay. But maybe if we're lucky, he will think that we did. 846 00:38:23,538 --> 00:38:24,906 Goddamnit! 847 00:38:24,939 --> 00:38:26,373 Hide in there. 848 00:38:26,406 --> 00:38:28,075 Whoo! Okay. 849 00:38:28,109 --> 00:38:28,943 We need weapons. 850 00:38:28,976 --> 00:38:30,477 Yeah. 851 00:38:30,511 --> 00:38:31,746 Ha-ha! 852 00:38:31,779 --> 00:38:32,947 Why do you get the plunger? What the hell am I gonna use? 853 00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:34,081 The power of your love for Denise. 854 00:38:34,115 --> 00:38:35,016 I don't give a shit. 855 00:38:35,049 --> 00:38:36,483 Oh, shit, he's gonna see our feet. 856 00:38:36,517 --> 00:38:37,885 Get up! Get up. 857 00:38:37,919 --> 00:38:38,953 Oh, shit. 858 00:38:38,986 --> 00:38:40,521 I don't wanna die like this, stuck in a... 859 00:38:40,555 --> 00:38:42,824 a dirty bathroom stall of a dive bar with you. 860 00:38:42,857 --> 00:38:45,092 Shhh. Shut, shh. 861 00:38:58,806 --> 00:39:00,808 Oh, my. 862 00:39:00,842 --> 00:39:05,279 Those two must have escaped out of this narrow little window. 863 00:39:05,313 --> 00:39:07,480 I guess I better leave now. 864 00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:11,484 But first, I'll use the bathroom. 865 00:39:11,519 --> 00:39:12,520 This stall is taken. 866 00:39:14,622 --> 00:39:15,957 Yah! 867 00:39:37,912 --> 00:39:40,114 De toilet. 868 00:39:40,147 --> 00:39:41,349 The toilet! 869 00:39:41,381 --> 00:39:42,783 - What does it mean? - It just seemed... 870 00:39:42,817 --> 00:39:45,186 Get the fuck out of that toilet! 871 00:39:48,556 --> 00:39:50,324 Please, don't kill us. 872 00:39:50,358 --> 00:39:51,659 Why would I want to kill you? 873 00:39:51,692 --> 00:39:52,994 Ah, well, I've... 874 00:39:53,027 --> 00:39:54,362 All right, listen, mister. 875 00:39:54,394 --> 00:39:55,495 Mister? 876 00:39:55,529 --> 00:39:57,164 - Archie. - Okay. 877 00:39:57,198 --> 00:39:58,933 - Archie. - Okay, Archie. 878 00:39:58,966 --> 00:40:00,368 - Archie. - Archie. 879 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,639 The guy in the stall, you didn't, did you? 880 00:40:04,672 --> 00:40:06,807 Yes, I did. 881 00:40:06,841 --> 00:40:08,142 - Why? - For you, Dave. 882 00:40:08,175 --> 00:40:09,409 For me? What are you talking about? 883 00:40:09,442 --> 00:40:10,711 I don't even know who that is. 884 00:40:10,745 --> 00:40:12,246 You don't know who that is? 885 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,082 He is absolutely pivotal to your future happiness 886 00:40:15,116 --> 00:40:16,784 and you don't know who he is. 887 00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:20,788 I'm terribly sorry, sir. 888 00:40:20,821 --> 00:40:21,789 Sir, we're cleaning here. 889 00:40:21,822 --> 00:40:22,990 I got to go! 890 00:40:23,024 --> 00:40:24,959 We've all got to go sometimes, sir. 891 00:40:24,992 --> 00:40:27,094 You probably sooner than most. 892 00:40:29,764 --> 00:40:31,198 Right. 893 00:40:31,232 --> 00:40:32,199 Now, where was I? 894 00:40:32,233 --> 00:40:33,200 The... the... the guy in the stall. 895 00:40:33,234 --> 00:40:34,335 Ah, yes, yes, yes! 896 00:40:34,368 --> 00:40:36,337 The guy in the stall. 897 00:40:36,370 --> 00:40:37,838 Right. 898 00:40:37,872 --> 00:40:40,041 Meet Henry. 899 00:40:40,074 --> 00:40:42,143 - Henry Cherkis. - Henry Cherkis? 900 00:40:42,176 --> 00:40:43,443 Who the hell is Henry Cherkis? 901 00:40:43,476 --> 00:40:46,580 Henry Cherkis as in Mr. and Mrs. Henry Cherkis 902 00:40:46,614 --> 00:40:48,215 or more specifically, 903 00:40:48,249 --> 00:40:52,920 Mr. and Mrs. Henry and Denise Cherkis. 904 00:40:52,954 --> 00:40:54,121 Holy shit! 905 00:40:54,155 --> 00:40:56,557 Holy shit! 906 00:40:56,590 --> 00:40:58,225 Uh... 907 00:40:58,259 --> 00:41:00,027 This is the guy that Denise is marrying? 908 00:41:00,061 --> 00:41:01,762 Yep, in about three hours' time. 909 00:41:01,796 --> 00:41:02,730 Mind you, I think you're a lot 910 00:41:02,763 --> 00:41:03,831 cuter than him. 911 00:41:03,864 --> 00:41:06,067 Okay, that explains the tux. 912 00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:07,435 It doesn't explain why you beat him, 913 00:41:07,467 --> 00:41:09,370 tied him up, and brought him here. 914 00:41:09,403 --> 00:41:12,373 Well, of course, it does, so that she wouldn't marry him. 915 00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:13,741 I mean, how are you going to get her back 916 00:41:13,774 --> 00:41:15,609 if she gets married? 917 00:41:15,643 --> 00:41:17,912 - I still don't understand. - What? 918 00:41:17,945 --> 00:41:19,814 This isn't brain surgery. 919 00:41:19,847 --> 00:41:23,684 Look, you cannot have a marriage if the groom 920 00:41:23,718 --> 00:41:25,052 is not there. 921 00:41:25,086 --> 00:41:26,387 - Am I right? - Yeah, uh, yeah. 922 00:41:26,420 --> 00:41:29,223 I think I see what you're trying to do here. 923 00:41:29,256 --> 00:41:32,360 So you see, Dave, this is your great opportunity. 924 00:41:32,393 --> 00:41:34,895 You are going to have a chance to do something 925 00:41:34,929 --> 00:41:38,532 that very few men in life ever get the chance to do. 926 00:41:38,566 --> 00:41:41,869 You have a chance of bringing back the one 927 00:41:41,902 --> 00:41:45,172 that got away and taking her on the very day that she's due 928 00:41:45,206 --> 00:41:48,309 to get married to somebody else. 929 00:41:48,342 --> 00:41:50,444 Wow! Isn't that exciting? 930 00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:52,780 Hey! I think it's exciting! 931 00:41:52,813 --> 00:41:54,548 Wow. Right? 932 00:41:54,582 --> 00:41:55,316 Oh. 933 00:41:55,349 --> 00:41:57,885 Excuse me, one moment. 934 00:41:57,918 --> 00:41:58,919 Ooh. 935 00:41:58,953 --> 00:42:00,488 Okay, I... I still don't understand 936 00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:02,123 how you know about me and Denise. 937 00:42:02,156 --> 00:42:03,357 Come on, Dave. 938 00:42:03,391 --> 00:42:06,060 For God's sake, man. 939 00:42:06,093 --> 00:42:07,328 Look! 940 00:42:07,361 --> 00:42:11,665 Why does it matter if how I know what I know, hey? 941 00:42:11,699 --> 00:42:12,666 Of course, it matters. 942 00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,435 You nearly beat someone to death on my behalf 943 00:42:14,468 --> 00:42:16,404 and I don't even know who you are or why you did it. 944 00:42:16,437 --> 00:42:19,940 On the first point, I did not beat him to death, 945 00:42:19,974 --> 00:42:21,510 I merely rendered him unconscious. 946 00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:23,577 Secondly, you know my name! 947 00:42:23,611 --> 00:42:25,312 And thirdly, you know what I want to do. 948 00:42:25,346 --> 00:42:28,149 Now, any more information is totally superfluous. 949 00:42:28,182 --> 00:42:29,850 Look, I don't want any part of this, okay? 950 00:42:29,884 --> 00:42:34,655 So just let us go and get that guy in there. 951 00:42:34,688 --> 00:42:35,322 Henry, Henry. 952 00:42:35,356 --> 00:42:36,490 - Henry. - Yeah. 953 00:42:36,525 --> 00:42:39,827 Some help and I... we'll uh, just uh, you know, 954 00:42:39,860 --> 00:42:40,728 forget we ever saw this. 955 00:42:40,761 --> 00:42:45,132 Oh, I... unfortunately, I don't think 956 00:42:45,166 --> 00:42:47,234 we're ever gonna forget this. 957 00:42:47,268 --> 00:42:50,404 You know, you're really worrying me 958 00:42:50,438 --> 00:42:53,307 because right at the moment, I... I... I'm... 959 00:42:53,340 --> 00:42:55,776 I confess I'm surprised by your response. 960 00:42:55,810 --> 00:42:57,044 Surprised? 961 00:42:57,078 --> 00:42:59,046 You expect me to bring the gasoline to torch his body? 962 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,448 Whoa, whoa, okay. 963 00:43:00,481 --> 00:43:03,150 Archie, not that Dave is not grateful 964 00:43:03,184 --> 00:43:05,486 and this isn't a tremendous gesture of... 965 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:06,887 of support on your part, 966 00:43:06,921 --> 00:43:08,189 but what I think Dave is saying... 967 00:43:08,222 --> 00:43:10,825 I don't give a fuck what Dave thinks 968 00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:13,661 he's trying to say. 969 00:43:13,694 --> 00:43:16,097 Nor do I appreciate any assistance from somebody 970 00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,898 who has to rely on a complete stranger 971 00:43:17,932 --> 00:43:20,968 to do the job that she should have done herself 972 00:43:21,001 --> 00:43:22,703 for her best friend. 973 00:43:22,736 --> 00:43:26,607 You expected me to kidnap the groom? 974 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,142 Oh. Was I supposed to do that? 975 00:43:28,175 --> 00:43:29,310 No! No! 976 00:43:29,343 --> 00:43:30,377 Of course, not! This guy is insane. 977 00:43:30,411 --> 00:43:31,045 I would do... I would do anything for you! 978 00:43:31,078 --> 00:43:32,179 Stop! Stop! Stop! 979 00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:33,114 All right, all right, all right. 980 00:43:34,115 --> 00:43:35,584 Let's just... 981 00:43:35,616 --> 00:43:36,817 I don't want any part of this. 982 00:43:36,851 --> 00:43:37,685 Part of this? 983 00:43:37,718 --> 00:43:40,921 Oh, Dave, you're the whole of this. 984 00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:41,922 Bullshit! 985 00:43:43,724 --> 00:43:46,827 Okay. I didn't do this, you did. 986 00:43:46,861 --> 00:43:48,563 Let's get out of here. I'm calling the cops. 987 00:43:48,597 --> 00:43:49,897 Okay. 988 00:43:49,930 --> 00:43:50,931 You go call the cops. 989 00:43:50,965 --> 00:43:54,168 And in the meantime, I'm gonna drown Henry here 990 00:43:54,201 --> 00:43:55,504 in the toilet. 991 00:43:56,871 --> 00:44:01,675 By the time the cops get here, poor Henry is going to be dead. 992 00:44:02,710 --> 00:44:04,812 And then you're gonna have a little dilemma, 993 00:44:04,845 --> 00:44:08,315 aren't you, because I'm going to tell them 994 00:44:08,349 --> 00:44:11,752 that I saw you dragging him into the toilet. 995 00:44:11,785 --> 00:44:16,558 And you, the demented, obsessive, 996 00:44:16,591 --> 00:44:22,096 possessive ex-boyfriend of the divine and lovely Denise 997 00:44:22,129 --> 00:44:27,768 is going to have to explain how her husband-to-be 998 00:44:27,801 --> 00:44:32,873 ended up dead meeting you on the very morning 999 00:44:32,907 --> 00:44:35,242 of their marriage. 1000 00:44:35,276 --> 00:44:37,077 - We are fucked. - How can we be fucked, okay? 1001 00:44:38,078 --> 00:44:39,180 This is all his doing. 1002 00:44:39,213 --> 00:44:40,214 We didn't do any of this. 1003 00:44:40,247 --> 00:44:41,415 I know that and you know that, 1004 00:44:41,448 --> 00:44:46,253 but even I would believe his story over ours. 1005 00:44:46,287 --> 00:44:47,589 Why are you doing this to me? 1006 00:44:47,622 --> 00:44:50,991 All's fair in love and war. 1007 00:44:51,025 --> 00:44:53,227 And you want to know why? 1008 00:44:53,260 --> 00:44:54,862 There's not much difference between the two. 1009 00:44:54,895 --> 00:44:56,397 What the hell does that even mean? 1010 00:44:56,430 --> 00:45:00,000 What it means is this, you do whatever you can, 1011 00:45:00,034 --> 00:45:06,106 whenever you can, however you can in order to win. 1012 00:45:06,140 --> 00:45:08,309 True that. 1013 00:45:08,342 --> 00:45:10,612 Every gambler is looking for a competitive edge. 1014 00:45:10,645 --> 00:45:11,546 And what's your edge? 1015 00:45:11,580 --> 00:45:13,280 Let me show you your edge. 1016 00:45:13,314 --> 00:45:14,616 This is Henry here. 1017 00:45:14,649 --> 00:45:18,252 Henry here is your main rival for Denise's affections. 1018 00:45:18,285 --> 00:45:19,887 And as we can see... 1019 00:45:21,822 --> 00:45:25,059 Henry here is in no position to fight you over her. 1020 00:45:25,092 --> 00:45:26,060 Am I right, Henry? 1021 00:45:26,093 --> 00:45:27,728 Am I right? 1022 00:45:27,761 --> 00:45:28,996 Okay. 1023 00:45:29,029 --> 00:45:30,064 Good boy. 1024 00:45:30,097 --> 00:45:31,198 Nice job. 1025 00:45:31,232 --> 00:45:32,534 Nice job. 1026 00:45:32,567 --> 00:45:37,871 So instead of hanging around and bitching and moaning, 1027 00:45:37,905 --> 00:45:39,873 why don't you take this opportunity 1028 00:45:39,907 --> 00:45:42,644 that presents itself and get back the girl 1029 00:45:42,677 --> 00:45:44,579 you claimed that you are in love with? 1030 00:45:44,613 --> 00:45:45,779 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1031 00:45:45,813 --> 00:45:47,381 I'm sure the kidnapping and beating of her fiancé 1032 00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:49,183 is exactly the thing that's gonna convince her 1033 00:45:49,216 --> 00:45:52,152 that she should be with me. 1034 00:45:52,186 --> 00:45:56,290 It is a little romantic. 1035 00:45:56,323 --> 00:45:57,559 What? 1036 00:45:57,592 --> 00:45:59,393 Shakespearean, really, even if you think about it. 1037 00:45:59,426 --> 00:46:00,562 Stop talking, Morris. 1038 00:46:00,595 --> 00:46:03,998 A guy willing to go to this extreme to win back 1039 00:46:04,031 --> 00:46:04,765 the woman that he loves. 1040 00:46:04,798 --> 00:46:07,901 Oh, fantastic attitude, Morris! 1041 00:46:07,935 --> 00:46:08,902 Huh, thank you! 1042 00:46:08,936 --> 00:46:09,738 Whoa! 1043 00:46:09,770 --> 00:46:10,572 Archie. 1044 00:46:10,605 --> 00:46:12,139 Yeah. 1045 00:46:12,172 --> 00:46:13,974 Come on. 1046 00:46:14,008 --> 00:46:15,776 We're talking about assault and kidnapping here. 1047 00:46:15,809 --> 00:46:18,580 Are you saying that you do not want Denise back? 1048 00:46:18,613 --> 00:46:19,581 Of cour... I do... I... 1049 00:46:19,614 --> 00:46:20,781 Because you said you'd do anything 1050 00:46:20,814 --> 00:46:22,517 - to get her back. - I would, I... 1051 00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:23,951 Ah, but you didn't actually mean that. 1052 00:46:23,984 --> 00:46:25,553 - I did. - No, no, no, no, no. 1053 00:46:25,587 --> 00:46:27,689 What you meant was you would do anything 1054 00:46:27,722 --> 00:46:33,060 as long as it was simple, neat, and nobody got hurt. 1055 00:46:33,093 --> 00:46:34,562 Yeah. Is there something wrong with that? 1056 00:46:34,596 --> 00:46:35,996 Oh, there's nothing wrong with that at all. 1057 00:46:36,030 --> 00:46:39,199 Except for the fact that the bloody world 1058 00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:40,669 doesn't work that way! 1059 00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:44,405 This is the way the world fucking works! 1060 00:46:46,473 --> 00:46:50,344 You pollyannish shithead! 1061 00:46:59,953 --> 00:47:01,790 Nobody curious? 1062 00:47:15,537 --> 00:47:16,403 It's from Denise. 1063 00:47:16,437 --> 00:47:18,405 Oh, no! 1064 00:47:18,439 --> 00:47:20,107 Ooh! 1065 00:47:20,140 --> 00:47:24,044 "Know I made you promise not to see me before wedding 1066 00:47:24,078 --> 00:47:25,846 but where are you? 1067 00:47:25,879 --> 00:47:28,349 You should have been here by now. 1068 00:47:28,382 --> 00:47:29,751 #coldfeet? 1069 00:47:29,784 --> 00:47:30,819 LOL." 1070 00:47:30,851 --> 00:47:32,252 Oh, L-O-L. 1071 00:47:32,286 --> 00:47:32,953 I love that. 1072 00:47:32,986 --> 00:47:33,987 Oh! 1073 00:47:34,021 --> 00:47:35,590 Oh, wow! 1074 00:47:35,623 --> 00:47:40,194 And she's given him an emoji kissy face. 1075 00:47:41,395 --> 00:47:42,831 Oh, I fucking love those. 1076 00:47:42,863 --> 00:47:44,064 Do you get a lot of those? 1077 00:47:46,668 --> 00:47:48,469 Oh, I love it. 1078 00:47:48,502 --> 00:47:50,137 Does she ever do that with you? 1079 00:47:50,170 --> 00:47:51,438 Hey, Dave! 1080 00:47:51,472 --> 00:47:55,142 How about we send Denise a nice message? 1081 00:47:55,175 --> 00:47:57,812 L-O-L. 1082 00:47:58,546 --> 00:47:59,380 Stop, stop, stop! 1083 00:48:00,381 --> 00:48:01,516 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 1084 00:48:01,549 --> 00:48:02,650 Look. Okay. 1085 00:48:02,684 --> 00:48:05,553 Look, I appreciate what you're doing, 1086 00:48:05,587 --> 00:48:06,688 I really do. Thank you. 1087 00:48:06,721 --> 00:48:10,525 You're... you're very terrific, obviously insane, 1088 00:48:10,558 --> 00:48:12,727 but caring guy to take the time to help me out, 1089 00:48:12,761 --> 00:48:15,764 but I've changed my mind. 1090 00:48:15,797 --> 00:48:17,998 I'm over Denise, I don't want her anymore, 1091 00:48:18,031 --> 00:48:20,869 so just let him go. 1092 00:48:20,901 --> 00:48:22,570 We'll all go on our merry way. 1093 00:48:22,604 --> 00:48:24,238 Nobody's going on their merry way. 1094 00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:25,507 No. 1095 00:48:25,540 --> 00:48:27,542 Oh, come on, Dave, live in the real world. 1096 00:48:27,575 --> 00:48:28,942 Do you think Henry here is gonna forget 1097 00:48:28,976 --> 00:48:31,546 all about this if we close shop and run? 1098 00:48:31,579 --> 00:48:32,413 Yeah, he will. 1099 00:48:32,446 --> 00:48:34,348 You will, won't you? 1100 00:48:34,381 --> 00:48:35,449 See? 1101 00:48:35,482 --> 00:48:36,851 - You trust him? - Yeah, sure. 1102 00:48:36,885 --> 00:48:38,485 Well, shouldn't you get to know him a bit more 1103 00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:39,554 before you trust him? 1104 00:48:39,587 --> 00:48:41,355 I... I don't think that that's necessary. 1105 00:48:41,388 --> 00:48:42,757 Well, I do think it's necessary. 1106 00:48:42,791 --> 00:48:43,991 All right, let's find a few 1107 00:48:44,024 --> 00:48:46,093 trust-making questions, shall we? 1108 00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:48,696 Oh, one immediately comes to mind. 1109 00:48:48,730 --> 00:48:52,433 Why don't you ask him when did you start 1110 00:48:52,466 --> 00:48:54,168 fucking Denise? 1111 00:48:56,303 --> 00:48:57,204 What? 1112 00:48:57,237 --> 00:49:01,175 When did you start sleeping with Denise? 1113 00:49:01,208 --> 00:49:02,510 I'm not asking him that. 1114 00:49:02,544 --> 00:49:05,045 Okay, okay, let's try it a different way. 1115 00:49:05,078 --> 00:49:07,649 When did you and Denise break up? 1116 00:49:07,682 --> 00:49:08,650 I don't remember. 1117 00:49:08,683 --> 00:49:09,349 Come on. 1118 00:49:11,251 --> 00:49:14,756 You obsess over this girl 24/7 and you can't remember 1119 00:49:14,789 --> 00:49:17,892 when you broke up? 1120 00:49:17,926 --> 00:49:20,194 Well, let's pull it up the ether, shall we? 1121 00:49:20,227 --> 00:49:21,796 So say about 12 months ago. 1122 00:49:21,830 --> 00:49:22,630 How did you know that? 1123 00:49:22,664 --> 00:49:25,432 One question at a time, Dave. 1124 00:49:25,466 --> 00:49:27,501 And right now... 1125 00:49:33,808 --> 00:49:37,946 Now, the pertinent question is 1126 00:49:37,978 --> 00:49:41,850 when did you first start fucking Denise? 1127 00:49:43,450 --> 00:49:45,887 Henry, focus, focus, 1128 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,121 because I'm only gonna ask you nicely once. 1129 00:49:49,791 --> 00:49:50,658 It's two years. 1130 00:49:50,692 --> 00:49:51,926 Two years ago. 1131 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,127 Two years ago? 1132 00:49:54,161 --> 00:49:56,096 Wait a minute, my maths. 1133 00:49:56,129 --> 00:49:58,967 Let's see, that means you were fucking her 1134 00:49:58,999 --> 00:50:01,368 one year before she dumped you. 1135 00:50:01,401 --> 00:50:02,402 He's lying. 1136 00:50:02,436 --> 00:50:05,773 Oh, he can't be lying, you trust him. 1137 00:50:05,807 --> 00:50:07,441 Say you're lying, you son of a bitch. 1138 00:50:07,474 --> 00:50:08,810 Admit that you're lying. 1139 00:50:08,843 --> 00:50:10,512 Maybe we can ask him a few more interesting... 1140 00:50:10,545 --> 00:50:11,813 - Say that you're lying! - Hey! Hey! 1141 00:50:11,846 --> 00:50:12,780 All right, you can stop. 1142 00:50:12,814 --> 00:50:13,848 You made your point, you can stop. 1143 00:50:13,882 --> 00:50:15,182 Oh, oh. 1144 00:50:15,215 --> 00:50:16,149 Okay. All right. 1145 00:50:16,183 --> 00:50:17,619 No more questions. 1146 00:50:17,652 --> 00:50:19,253 Sorry, Henry, that means we don't need 1147 00:50:19,286 --> 00:50:20,522 any more answers. 1148 00:50:20,555 --> 00:50:22,857 So thank you, Henry, you did well. 1149 00:50:22,891 --> 00:50:24,692 You did very well. 1150 00:50:27,962 --> 00:50:28,997 Who are you, for real? 1151 00:50:29,029 --> 00:50:30,932 I wanna know exactly who you are. 1152 00:50:30,965 --> 00:50:31,966 Sincerely, I don't think it's a good idea 1153 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,935 to mess with this guy, okay? 1154 00:50:33,968 --> 00:50:37,539 Is it okay to come in? 1155 00:50:37,572 --> 00:50:38,973 Just one more minute, sir. 1156 00:50:39,007 --> 00:50:40,073 Thank you. 1157 00:50:44,378 --> 00:50:46,413 Right, thank you. 1158 00:50:46,446 --> 00:50:47,749 I... 1159 00:50:53,287 --> 00:50:55,023 Good, good. 1160 00:50:59,326 --> 00:51:03,297 Okay, you can do this. 1161 00:51:03,330 --> 00:51:04,464 Good. 1162 00:51:04,498 --> 00:51:05,432 Good. 1163 00:51:08,036 --> 00:51:10,337 You can come in now, sir. 1164 00:51:10,370 --> 00:51:11,104 Come in, sir. 1165 00:51:11,138 --> 00:51:12,172 Come in. 1166 00:51:15,009 --> 00:51:17,444 Oh, pay no attention to the girl. 1167 00:51:17,477 --> 00:51:19,313 This is a unisex bathroom. 1168 00:51:21,616 --> 00:51:23,183 Okay. 1169 00:51:23,216 --> 00:51:26,888 Feel free to launch when necessary. 1170 00:51:29,824 --> 00:51:30,858 Oh, I know that feeling. 1171 00:51:30,892 --> 00:51:32,860 - Oh. - Oh, yes. 1172 00:51:32,894 --> 00:51:35,597 Ah, don't worry about this new crew in training. 1173 00:51:35,630 --> 00:51:37,599 Ah. 1174 00:51:37,632 --> 00:51:38,600 Going well, hey? 1175 00:51:40,768 --> 00:51:43,671 Okay. 1176 00:51:43,705 --> 00:51:46,074 Are you still choking that python, sir? 1177 00:51:47,675 --> 00:51:49,811 Yes, sir, you take your time. 1178 00:51:49,844 --> 00:51:52,412 Oh, I'm good. 1179 00:51:52,446 --> 00:51:53,280 - Good? - Yeah. 1180 00:51:53,313 --> 00:51:54,147 Yeah. 1181 00:51:54,181 --> 00:51:56,350 Yes! 1182 00:51:56,383 --> 00:51:57,518 Oh. 1183 00:51:57,552 --> 00:51:58,920 Boy, you needed that. 1184 00:51:58,953 --> 00:52:01,154 - Whoo. - Oh-ho. 1185 00:52:01,188 --> 00:52:02,489 Wash the hands. 1186 00:52:02,523 --> 00:52:04,291 Good, man. 1187 00:52:07,795 --> 00:52:10,230 For you, sir. 1188 00:52:10,263 --> 00:52:11,733 What the fuck is going on? 1189 00:52:11,766 --> 00:52:13,001 Allow me. 1190 00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:24,812 Why, thank you, sir. 1191 00:52:24,846 --> 00:52:26,179 Thank you. Thank you. 1192 00:52:26,213 --> 00:52:30,150 And in return, let me give you this. 1193 00:52:34,421 --> 00:52:36,189 It will bring you good luck. 1194 00:52:45,099 --> 00:52:47,234 You come back in a few beers now. 1195 00:52:48,435 --> 00:52:49,504 Oh, Jesus. 1196 00:52:49,537 --> 00:52:51,939 Right. 1197 00:52:51,973 --> 00:52:54,075 Now, very soon we will have an avalanche 1198 00:52:54,108 --> 00:52:57,745 of happy-hour misfits descending on the place. 1199 00:52:57,779 --> 00:53:02,684 So I think we should split and then reconvene 1200 00:53:02,717 --> 00:53:05,553 somewhere else to consider our next move. 1201 00:53:05,586 --> 00:53:06,521 Next move? 1202 00:53:06,554 --> 00:53:07,354 What next move? 1203 00:53:07,387 --> 00:53:09,222 Now, I think we'll use your place. 1204 00:53:09,256 --> 00:53:10,892 We are not reconvening at my place. 1205 00:53:10,925 --> 00:53:13,561 Yes. Now, my car is only a little coupe, 1206 00:53:13,594 --> 00:53:14,829 won't take four. 1207 00:53:14,862 --> 00:53:15,963 The other one's had a fender bender, 1208 00:53:15,997 --> 00:53:17,865 so we'll be using your car as well. 1209 00:53:17,899 --> 00:53:20,200 Oh, and one more thing, just in case you two 1210 00:53:20,233 --> 00:53:22,302 were thinking of doing something stupid, 1211 00:53:22,335 --> 00:53:24,337 but you were hesitating because you thought 1212 00:53:24,371 --> 00:53:25,606 that I might be armed. 1213 00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,644 And yes, I am armed. 1214 00:53:29,677 --> 00:53:32,680 And this is not a toilet roll. 1215 00:53:32,714 --> 00:53:33,614 All right. 1216 00:53:33,648 --> 00:53:35,016 All right, why don't we all go back 1217 00:53:35,049 --> 00:53:38,553 to your place and we will deal with everything from there. 1218 00:53:38,586 --> 00:53:40,454 - Are we agreed on that? - Yeah. 1219 00:53:40,487 --> 00:53:41,354 - Good. - Agreed? 1220 00:53:41,388 --> 00:53:42,123 Ah-uh-uh... 1221 00:53:42,156 --> 00:53:43,256 What are we gonna do with him? 1222 00:53:43,290 --> 00:53:45,093 Henry? Oh, we got to take Henry with us. 1223 00:53:45,126 --> 00:53:46,561 I'm not bringing him back to my apartment. 1224 00:53:46,594 --> 00:53:50,031 I promise you he will not bleed on your upholstery, 1225 00:53:50,064 --> 00:53:51,498 will you, Henry? 1226 00:53:51,532 --> 00:53:53,366 See? Right. 1227 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,335 Okay. 1228 00:53:55,368 --> 00:53:57,337 Untie him now. 1229 00:53:57,370 --> 00:53:58,005 Come on! Untie him! 1230 00:53:58,039 --> 00:53:59,140 Oh, Jesus. 1231 00:53:59,173 --> 00:54:00,775 Well, how are we gonna get him out of here 1232 00:54:00,808 --> 00:54:01,876 without attracting attention? 1233 00:54:01,909 --> 00:54:04,244 You think anyone would notice in this place? 1234 00:54:04,277 --> 00:54:06,246 However, this is what we're going to do. 1235 00:54:06,279 --> 00:54:09,817 Henry and I are going to very calmly walk out of here. 1236 00:54:09,851 --> 00:54:12,186 Of course, my gun is gonna be 1237 00:54:12,220 --> 00:54:14,254 in the base of his spine. 1238 00:54:14,287 --> 00:54:15,790 Right, Henry? 1239 00:54:15,823 --> 00:54:18,025 Okay. 1240 00:54:18,059 --> 00:54:20,260 You're not gonna scream or shout or anything like that, 1241 00:54:20,293 --> 00:54:20,928 are you? 1242 00:54:20,962 --> 00:54:22,964 Good boy. 1243 00:54:22,997 --> 00:54:23,798 Thank you, Henry. 1244 00:54:23,831 --> 00:54:25,900 You don't need that anymore. 1245 00:54:25,933 --> 00:54:26,801 Okay? 1246 00:54:26,834 --> 00:54:29,302 Now, Henry, stand up. 1247 00:54:29,336 --> 00:54:30,337 Straight. 1248 00:54:30,370 --> 00:54:31,038 Very good. 1249 00:54:31,072 --> 00:54:32,907 Extend that arm. 1250 00:54:32,940 --> 00:54:33,875 All right. 1251 00:54:33,908 --> 00:54:35,042 Very good. 1252 00:54:35,076 --> 00:54:39,046 Now, then, very slowly, like old friend. 1253 00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:40,248 - You're feeling good, Henry? - Yeah. 1254 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,082 - Sure? - Mmm. 1255 00:54:41,115 --> 00:54:42,583 Good man. 1256 00:54:42,617 --> 00:54:45,153 1, 2... 1257 00:54:45,186 --> 00:54:49,924 Oh, uh now, you two will count to 10 1258 00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:52,860 and follow calmly walking through the front door, 1259 00:54:52,894 --> 00:54:53,828 okay? 1260 00:54:53,861 --> 00:54:56,329 Because I will be counting as well 1261 00:54:56,363 --> 00:54:59,767 and you don't want me to get to 11, right? 1262 00:54:59,801 --> 00:55:00,902 Right, Henry? 1263 00:55:00,935 --> 00:55:02,804 Right. 1264 00:55:02,837 --> 00:55:04,539 Good. 1265 00:55:04,572 --> 00:55:06,641 Come on, Henry. 1266 00:55:06,674 --> 00:55:09,409 Oh, Henry, a favor please? 1267 00:55:09,442 --> 00:55:11,045 Could you shut this door behind you? 1268 00:55:11,078 --> 00:55:11,979 Yeah. 1269 00:55:12,013 --> 00:55:13,548 Thank you. 1270 00:55:13,581 --> 00:55:16,818 Manners maketh man. 1271 00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:17,685 And you... 1272 00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,689 Poof. 1273 00:55:24,959 --> 00:55:27,195 7, 8, 9... 1274 00:55:58,292 --> 00:55:59,994 Great automobile you've got here, Dave. 1275 00:56:00,027 --> 00:56:06,033 Myself, I've got a classic 1940 Ford Coupe, superb condition. 1276 00:56:06,067 --> 00:56:08,135 Could use a bigger trunk though. 1277 00:56:08,169 --> 00:56:11,371 What do you say, Henry? 1278 00:56:11,404 --> 00:56:12,874 You know, it's been some years 1279 00:56:12,907 --> 00:56:17,345 since I've been in the car-buying market, 1280 00:56:17,377 --> 00:56:19,947 but I would like your opinion, David. 1281 00:56:19,981 --> 00:56:21,849 How do you stand on the question, 1282 00:56:21,883 --> 00:56:23,618 lease or buy? 1283 00:56:23,651 --> 00:56:25,485 Hmm? 1284 00:56:25,519 --> 00:56:26,754 We're in the middle of a kidnapping 1285 00:56:26,787 --> 00:56:29,290 and you wanna know my opinion on whether to buy or lease? 1286 00:56:29,323 --> 00:56:31,759 I think if I were shopping, I would definitely be 1287 00:56:31,792 --> 00:56:33,194 a lease man. 1288 00:56:33,227 --> 00:56:35,596 You know, new and shiny is wonderful but it wears off 1289 00:56:35,630 --> 00:56:38,266 and then you've got all those maintenance costs. 1290 00:56:38,299 --> 00:56:40,067 Frankly, I think you just better walk away 1291 00:56:40,101 --> 00:56:42,136 and leave all that bullshit. 1292 00:56:42,169 --> 00:56:43,504 - Lease man? Really? - Hmm. 1293 00:56:43,537 --> 00:56:45,773 Personally, I think you're a crazy man. 1294 00:56:45,806 --> 00:56:46,874 Dave. 1295 00:56:46,908 --> 00:56:47,909 Dave, do be civil. 1296 00:56:47,942 --> 00:56:49,310 Come on now. 1297 00:56:49,343 --> 00:56:51,846 I'm just... I'm just trying to conduct a nice conversation. 1298 00:56:51,879 --> 00:56:53,413 You wanna make conversation? 1299 00:56:53,446 --> 00:56:54,982 Isn't it about time you tell us who you are? 1300 00:56:55,016 --> 00:56:56,416 I mean is this what you do for a living? 1301 00:56:57,652 --> 00:56:58,753 Living? 1302 00:56:58,786 --> 00:57:01,488 When you file a tax return where it says profession, 1303 00:57:01,522 --> 00:57:04,491 do you put deranged violent kidnapper in the name of love 1304 00:57:04,525 --> 00:57:07,361 or is torturing people you don't know just a hobby? 1305 00:57:08,495 --> 00:57:11,431 Do I look like someone who files a tax return? 1306 00:57:14,602 --> 00:57:16,070 Ah, relax, kids. 1307 00:57:16,103 --> 00:57:19,073 You're not in the hands of an amateur. 1308 00:57:19,106 --> 00:57:23,344 I have done this many times. 1309 00:57:23,377 --> 00:57:26,714 Many, many, many times. 1310 00:57:26,747 --> 00:57:30,685 In fact, sometimes I think I've been doing it forever. 1311 00:57:30,718 --> 00:57:33,387 So as I get older, if you think I'm getting 1312 00:57:33,421 --> 00:57:36,489 a little more rough, if I'm not quite exuding 1313 00:57:36,524 --> 00:57:39,694 that enthusiasm that once I exuded, 1314 00:57:39,727 --> 00:57:43,364 if I'm not doing everything with a sweet smile anymore, 1315 00:57:43,397 --> 00:57:46,634 it's because I'm so fucking tired of dealing 1316 00:57:46,667 --> 00:57:49,704 with you fucking morons! 1317 00:57:51,172 --> 00:57:52,139 Yeah, forget it. 1318 00:57:52,173 --> 00:57:53,240 Forget, forget what I said. 1319 00:57:53,274 --> 00:57:55,509 Forget what I said. 1320 00:57:55,543 --> 00:57:58,746 Put some music on, maybe it'll soothe 1321 00:57:58,779 --> 00:58:00,014 the savage beast. 1322 00:58:00,047 --> 00:58:02,316 Amen to that. 1323 00:58:02,350 --> 00:58:04,986 If music be the food of love, play on. 1324 00:58:05,019 --> 00:58:07,922 Give me a playlist. 1325 00:58:07,955 --> 00:58:13,260 Give me excess of it, that surfeiting the appetite 1326 00:58:13,294 --> 00:58:16,564 may sicken and so die. 1327 00:58:21,802 --> 00:58:23,771 Coldplay? 1328 00:58:23,804 --> 00:58:26,007 The Scientists? 1329 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,108 Huh, sad. 1330 00:58:28,376 --> 00:58:30,144 The Cure? 1331 00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:32,279 Pictures of You? 1332 00:58:32,313 --> 00:58:36,017 Oh, depressing. 1333 00:58:36,050 --> 00:58:37,218 Pinocchio? 1334 00:58:37,251 --> 00:58:39,086 Wish Upon a Star. 1335 00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:40,521 Pinocchio? 1336 00:58:40,554 --> 00:58:43,924 Is this your pending suicide playlist? 1337 00:58:43,958 --> 00:58:45,292 Right? 1338 00:58:45,326 --> 00:58:48,763 Count 12 months of this, it is a cry for help, isn't it? 1339 00:58:48,796 --> 00:58:49,597 A cry for help? 1340 00:58:49,630 --> 00:58:51,032 This isn't a fucking cry for help, 1341 00:58:51,065 --> 00:58:52,933 this is a scream valve. 1342 00:58:52,967 --> 00:58:54,435 Here, take the gun. Do it. 1343 00:58:54,468 --> 00:58:55,536 Blow your brains out now. 1344 00:58:55,569 --> 00:58:56,937 Come on. Let's save us all. 1345 00:58:56,971 --> 00:58:57,705 - Come on! - Hey! 1346 00:58:57,738 --> 00:58:58,672 Come on! Let's do it. 1347 00:58:58,706 --> 00:59:00,641 Even before the breakup, his choice in music 1348 00:59:00,674 --> 00:59:01,942 was very depressing. 1349 00:59:01,976 --> 00:59:03,010 Oh. 1350 00:59:03,044 --> 00:59:05,212 - Hey, Denise loved my music. - Okay. 1351 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:09,216 What are you laughing at? 1352 00:59:12,787 --> 00:59:15,856 Wait a minute, we have another music critic 1353 00:59:15,890 --> 00:59:18,359 in the car with us as well. 1354 00:59:18,392 --> 00:59:24,098 Henry, I bet you and Denise have a very special song, 1355 00:59:24,131 --> 00:59:25,266 don't you? 1356 00:59:25,299 --> 00:59:27,902 Henry, what is it? 1357 00:59:27,935 --> 00:59:28,836 Henry! 1358 00:59:28,869 --> 00:59:31,739 I did promise Dave that there wouldn't be 1359 00:59:31,772 --> 00:59:34,775 any blood on the upholstery but that doesn't exclude 1360 00:59:34,809 --> 00:59:36,911 internal bleeding. 1361 00:59:36,944 --> 00:59:38,712 What's the song? 1362 00:59:41,849 --> 00:59:44,051 - Marvin Gaye, Sexual Healing. - No! 1363 00:59:45,554 --> 00:59:46,687 - No! - Oh, take it easy. 1364 00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:47,655 Hey! 1365 00:59:52,259 --> 00:59:53,861 Oh, I love it! 1366 01:00:05,172 --> 01:00:06,474 Man, you must really love her. 1367 01:00:06,508 --> 01:00:07,942 Not that it's any of your fucking business 1368 01:00:07,975 --> 01:00:10,111 but yes, I do. 1369 01:00:10,144 --> 01:00:11,546 I love her. 1370 01:00:11,580 --> 01:00:12,680 Don't you? 1371 01:00:12,713 --> 01:00:15,216 I mean, you're the guy in the tux. 1372 01:00:15,249 --> 01:00:16,518 Yeah, I mean... I mean I love her 1373 01:00:16,551 --> 01:00:18,953 but I'm not sure I love her as much as that guy. 1374 01:00:18,986 --> 01:00:20,421 Hey. 1375 01:00:20,454 --> 01:00:23,090 Well, you better be sure, because if you think 1376 01:00:23,124 --> 01:00:25,226 you're a prisoner now, just wait till you're married, 1377 01:00:25,259 --> 01:00:29,697 you... you could be looking back on being stuffed down a toilet 1378 01:00:29,730 --> 01:00:32,800 and beaten up as the best part of your life. 1379 01:00:32,833 --> 01:00:33,901 If you're not sure you love her that much, 1380 01:00:33,934 --> 01:00:36,003 then why are you marrying her? 1381 01:00:36,036 --> 01:00:38,372 You know how it is. 1382 01:00:38,405 --> 01:00:45,212 She's... truth is we don't really 1383 01:00:45,246 --> 01:00:50,251 have that much in common except for... you know. 1384 01:00:51,785 --> 01:00:53,254 Marvin. 1385 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:03,397 Ah, well, it sounds to me as if the groom here 1386 01:01:03,430 --> 01:01:07,569 is having second thoughts. 1387 01:01:07,602 --> 01:01:09,670 It would be amazing, ey, if this kidnapping 1388 01:01:09,703 --> 01:01:12,139 turned out to be a rescue mission. 1389 01:01:21,715 --> 01:01:24,852 Okay, Henry, you sit down there. 1390 01:01:24,885 --> 01:01:27,522 And if you promise that you will not move 1391 01:01:27,556 --> 01:01:31,492 until I tell you, I will not tie you up again. 1392 01:01:31,526 --> 01:01:32,993 Anyone want something to drink? 1393 01:01:33,027 --> 01:01:34,295 I'm not hosting a party, okay? 1394 01:01:34,328 --> 01:01:35,930 I wanna get this over with as soon as possible. 1395 01:01:35,963 --> 01:01:37,898 I'll take a beer. 1396 01:01:37,932 --> 01:01:38,899 And I'm famished. 1397 01:01:38,933 --> 01:01:41,101 Is there anywhere around here we can order in? 1398 01:01:41,135 --> 01:01:43,938 Yes. There is a great deli just right up the street. 1399 01:01:43,971 --> 01:01:45,105 - I mean... - Hmm. 1400 01:01:45,139 --> 01:01:46,307 But are they quick? 1401 01:01:46,340 --> 01:01:47,741 'Cause we haven't got much time, yeah? 1402 01:01:47,775 --> 01:01:50,177 We got to get Dave back to the church. 1403 01:01:50,211 --> 01:01:51,613 What? 1404 01:01:51,646 --> 01:01:53,280 I thought we were coming here to discuss what to do next. 1405 01:01:53,314 --> 01:01:54,583 Dave? 1406 01:01:54,616 --> 01:01:56,183 Well, we have discussed the next move 1407 01:01:56,217 --> 01:02:00,721 and the next move is this, you are going to see Denise. 1408 01:02:00,754 --> 01:02:05,292 You understand that nothing can happen until you do 1409 01:02:05,326 --> 01:02:07,795 what you need to do. 1410 01:02:07,828 --> 01:02:08,929 But you knew that? 1411 01:02:11,966 --> 01:02:13,901 Archie, what kind of sandwich do you want? 1412 01:02:13,934 --> 01:02:16,270 What's their pastrami like? 1413 01:02:16,303 --> 01:02:18,172 She's not gonna take me back. 1414 01:02:18,205 --> 01:02:19,740 You know, I don't know. 1415 01:02:19,773 --> 01:02:21,108 I only get the corned beef. 1416 01:02:21,141 --> 01:02:22,309 Ah, what the heck. 1417 01:02:22,343 --> 01:02:23,811 I'm gonna live dangerous today. 1418 01:02:23,844 --> 01:02:26,180 I'll take the pastrami, extra lean 1419 01:02:26,213 --> 01:02:27,481 or I'd come down there. 1420 01:02:27,515 --> 01:02:29,149 I mean what am I gonna even say to her? 1421 01:02:29,183 --> 01:02:30,451 That is extra lean, please. 1422 01:02:30,484 --> 01:02:31,952 Uh, trust me, you do not want this guy 1423 01:02:31,986 --> 01:02:32,920 coming down there. 1424 01:02:32,953 --> 01:02:34,288 And roast beef for Henry. 1425 01:02:34,321 --> 01:02:35,557 I don't like roast beef. 1426 01:02:35,590 --> 01:02:39,159 Who cares what you like! 1427 01:02:39,193 --> 01:02:41,630 You wanna try the pastrami? 1428 01:02:41,663 --> 01:02:44,198 Ham and cheese on a Kaiser roll. 1429 01:02:44,231 --> 01:02:45,600 What the hell is going on here? 1430 01:02:45,634 --> 01:02:49,571 And ham and cheese on a Kaiser for Henry. 1431 01:02:49,604 --> 01:02:52,707 Archie, how can I go to Denise now? 1432 01:02:52,741 --> 01:02:55,476 How would I even begin to explain any of this? 1433 01:02:55,510 --> 01:02:58,112 Oh, does anybody wanna know what the soup of the day? 1434 01:02:58,145 --> 01:02:59,179 Seriously? 1435 01:02:59,213 --> 01:03:01,181 Archie? 1436 01:03:01,215 --> 01:03:04,151 Well, it would help if you tell us what the fuck 1437 01:03:04,184 --> 01:03:05,553 sort of soup it is. 1438 01:03:05,587 --> 01:03:06,453 Clam chowder. 1439 01:03:06,487 --> 01:03:08,155 New England clam chowder? 1440 01:03:08,188 --> 01:03:09,390 New England? 1441 01:03:09,423 --> 01:03:10,224 Manhattan. 1442 01:03:10,257 --> 01:03:11,726 Ugh. 1443 01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:14,028 That is a hard no on the soup. 1444 01:03:14,061 --> 01:03:14,862 Thank you very much. 1445 01:03:14,895 --> 01:03:16,797 Well, there you have it, young Dave. 1446 01:03:16,830 --> 01:03:20,568 You can either have a New England clam chowder 1447 01:03:20,602 --> 01:03:24,471 sort of life, which is rich and romantic 1448 01:03:24,506 --> 01:03:28,409 like a deep French kiss on a warm summer day 1449 01:03:28,442 --> 01:03:35,249 or you can have a Manhattan clam chowder 1450 01:03:35,282 --> 01:03:39,119 sort of life, which is a brown 1451 01:03:39,153 --> 01:03:43,725 dreary vegetable soup that smells like fish. 1452 01:03:45,259 --> 01:03:47,828 I want her back. 1453 01:03:47,861 --> 01:03:50,364 I do. 1454 01:03:50,397 --> 01:03:51,766 It's not gonna happen. 1455 01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:54,636 Man, you are unbelievable. 1456 01:03:54,669 --> 01:03:55,770 Did you say something? 1457 01:03:57,706 --> 01:04:00,341 I said you're unbelievable. 1458 01:04:00,374 --> 01:04:01,609 No wonder Denise never even mentioned 1459 01:04:01,643 --> 01:04:03,010 your name to me. 1460 01:04:04,945 --> 01:04:07,549 I mean, if you don't think she could want you back now, 1461 01:04:07,582 --> 01:04:09,016 then why would you think she ever wanted you 1462 01:04:09,049 --> 01:04:11,118 in the first place? 1463 01:04:11,151 --> 01:04:12,587 Don't you get it? 1464 01:04:12,620 --> 01:04:14,723 Either give her credit for falling in love with you 1465 01:04:14,756 --> 01:04:16,725 or pay her due respect for breaking up with you, 1466 01:04:16,758 --> 01:04:18,793 but don't underestimate her. 1467 01:04:18,827 --> 01:04:21,362 Oh, I must have knocked some sense in your head 1468 01:04:21,395 --> 01:04:22,697 after all. 1469 01:04:22,731 --> 01:04:24,766 Maybe I am underestimating her. 1470 01:04:29,738 --> 01:04:31,840 I don't wanna marry Denise anymore. 1471 01:04:35,442 --> 01:04:39,213 I want New England clam chowder. 1472 01:04:39,246 --> 01:04:41,783 She's all yours. 1473 01:04:41,816 --> 01:04:43,484 What? 1474 01:04:43,518 --> 01:04:46,353 This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. 1475 01:04:46,387 --> 01:04:49,123 Are you just saying that because of him? 1476 01:04:49,156 --> 01:04:49,824 Yeah. 1477 01:04:49,858 --> 01:04:50,859 No. 1478 01:04:50,891 --> 01:04:51,925 No. 1479 01:04:51,959 --> 01:04:54,294 I mean granted I don't have a lot of choice 1480 01:04:54,328 --> 01:04:56,531 in the matter, but no. 1481 01:04:56,564 --> 01:04:59,066 Now that I think about it, I don't wanna marry her. 1482 01:04:59,099 --> 01:05:00,234 But this is Denise. 1483 01:05:00,267 --> 01:05:02,069 I know, man. But look at you. 1484 01:05:02,102 --> 01:05:03,904 Huh, I mean, I barely know you and I can tell 1485 01:05:03,937 --> 01:05:05,973 that she turned you inside out and back again. 1486 01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:09,544 I am not ready to give myself, heart and soul, 1487 01:05:09,577 --> 01:05:11,746 to someone who could do that to me. 1488 01:05:11,780 --> 01:05:14,381 - Yes, man. - Hmm. 1489 01:05:14,415 --> 01:05:16,584 What did I say in the car? 1490 01:05:16,618 --> 01:05:20,154 This is a rescue mission. 1491 01:05:22,557 --> 01:05:25,660 At last, we're all on the same page. 1492 01:05:25,693 --> 01:05:26,594 - Let's go. - Come on. 1493 01:05:26,628 --> 01:05:27,762 There's no way. 1494 01:05:27,796 --> 01:05:30,030 I mean... I mean, just because he isn't in love 1495 01:05:30,063 --> 01:05:32,801 with her doesn't mean that she isn't in love with him. 1496 01:05:32,834 --> 01:05:35,002 And even if she isn't, doesn't mean that she's in love 1497 01:05:35,035 --> 01:05:36,036 with me anymore. 1498 01:05:36,069 --> 01:05:37,204 David. Dave. 1499 01:05:37,237 --> 01:05:39,339 Before you knew that Denise was getting married, 1500 01:05:39,373 --> 01:05:41,709 you were gonna go down there, talk to her and tell her 1501 01:05:41,743 --> 01:05:44,178 how you felt to see if that meant anything 1502 01:05:44,211 --> 01:05:46,380 to her still, right? 1503 01:05:46,413 --> 01:05:50,384 Okay? So as it turns out she is not getting married, 1504 01:05:50,417 --> 01:05:52,085 so nothing has changed. 1505 01:06:09,303 --> 01:06:12,973 Maybe this can happen, I mean really happen. 1506 01:06:13,006 --> 01:06:16,009 I knew I could make a true believer of you. 1507 01:06:16,043 --> 01:06:17,812 Right, come on! 1508 01:06:17,846 --> 01:06:21,348 Okay, let's go and pick up that food and get to the church. 1509 01:06:30,859 --> 01:06:33,227 This pastrami isn't lean. 1510 01:06:33,260 --> 01:06:34,161 It's not lean. 1511 01:06:34,194 --> 01:06:35,530 Call this lean? 1512 01:06:35,563 --> 01:06:36,831 I said lean. 1513 01:06:36,865 --> 01:06:38,065 And where's the mustard? 1514 01:06:40,568 --> 01:06:42,537 There is no mustard! 1515 01:06:42,570 --> 01:06:44,304 There's no mustard here! 1516 01:06:44,338 --> 01:06:46,841 Who's got the mustard? 1517 01:06:46,875 --> 01:06:49,109 You. 1518 01:06:49,142 --> 01:06:51,980 You. I knew I should have kept that gag on you. 1519 01:06:52,012 --> 01:06:54,114 I want half of that ham and cheese. 1520 01:06:54,147 --> 01:06:54,983 Why? 1521 01:06:55,015 --> 01:06:56,250 Why? 1522 01:06:56,283 --> 01:07:00,622 Because my pastrami is fatty, because there is no mustard, 1523 01:07:00,655 --> 01:07:02,256 and because you're my fucking prisoner, 1524 01:07:02,289 --> 01:07:04,626 give me the sandwich! 1525 01:07:04,659 --> 01:07:06,995 This is gonna make a great story for the grandkids 1526 01:07:07,027 --> 01:07:07,762 someday. 1527 01:07:07,795 --> 01:07:08,997 Yours or mine? 1528 01:07:09,029 --> 01:07:10,464 Yours. 1529 01:07:10,497 --> 01:07:13,367 I am never getting married and I'm never having kids. 1530 01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:14,636 Hmm. 1531 01:07:14,669 --> 01:07:17,605 And what are you gonna do when you fall in love? 1532 01:07:17,639 --> 01:07:19,774 Ugh, won't happen. 1533 01:07:19,807 --> 01:07:22,276 As Dave can attest to, I only gamble on things 1534 01:07:22,309 --> 01:07:23,645 that I can count on. 1535 01:07:23,678 --> 01:07:25,412 She never lets anyone get that close to her. 1536 01:07:25,445 --> 01:07:28,115 Is that right? Hmm. 1537 01:07:28,148 --> 01:07:30,518 Simple but ingenious plan to avoid all of this 1538 01:07:30,552 --> 01:07:32,854 emotional chaos and baggage. 1539 01:07:32,887 --> 01:07:34,556 Well, you seem to have got it all sorted out, 1540 01:07:34,589 --> 01:07:35,523 haven't you? 1541 01:07:35,557 --> 01:07:36,858 Right, Morris? 1542 01:07:36,891 --> 01:07:38,593 But I have to tell you, you're full of crap. 1543 01:07:40,260 --> 01:07:44,999 You may be a girl, Morris, but your balls 1544 01:07:45,033 --> 01:07:49,637 are on the same pendulum as everyone else on the planet, 1545 01:07:49,671 --> 01:07:52,540 they're just going to get clapped, 1546 01:07:52,574 --> 01:07:54,441 it's just a matter of time. 1547 01:07:55,843 --> 01:07:57,779 Hey, we're almost at the church. 1548 01:07:57,812 --> 01:07:59,146 We're almost at the church. 1549 01:07:59,179 --> 01:08:01,616 Well, you don't expect our friend here to pinch hit 1550 01:08:01,649 --> 01:08:03,216 for you wearing that costume. 1551 01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:04,384 I'll be happy if I can just get her 1552 01:08:04,418 --> 01:08:05,218 to start dating me again. 1553 01:08:05,252 --> 01:08:07,154 I don't need to get married today. 1554 01:08:07,187 --> 01:08:10,825 Dave, this is your chance to hit for the fences. 1555 01:08:10,858 --> 01:08:13,293 Now, shut up and tell me your suit size. 1556 01:08:13,327 --> 01:08:14,227 42 regular. 1557 01:08:14,261 --> 01:08:15,162 Henry? 1558 01:08:15,195 --> 01:08:16,096 46 long. 1559 01:08:16,129 --> 01:08:17,899 Close enough. Swap over now. 1560 01:08:20,935 --> 01:08:21,803 We're doing it. 1561 01:08:21,836 --> 01:08:22,637 Come on, come on, help each other. 1562 01:08:22,670 --> 01:08:24,104 Help each other here. 1563 01:08:24,137 --> 01:08:26,074 Yup, good, good, get him on first here. 1564 01:08:26,106 --> 01:08:26,841 - Quick, quick, quick, quick. - Be careful, it's Italian. 1565 01:08:26,874 --> 01:08:27,675 - Yeah. - Oh, oh, okay. 1566 01:08:27,709 --> 01:08:29,510 - What? - Italian? 1567 01:08:29,544 --> 01:08:30,477 Nice quality, too. 1568 01:08:30,511 --> 01:08:31,746 Here. Okay. 1569 01:08:31,779 --> 01:08:33,014 Keep going, keep going, keep... good. 1570 01:08:33,047 --> 01:08:34,147 Oh, shit, man. 1571 01:08:34,181 --> 01:08:35,683 There's blood stains all over it. 1572 01:08:35,717 --> 01:08:37,250 Ah, no one's gonna notice. 1573 01:08:37,284 --> 01:08:38,686 You expect me to get my ex-girlfriend back 1574 01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:40,755 wearing her fiancé's blood-stained tuxedo? 1575 01:08:41,723 --> 01:08:44,157 There speaks the nervous groom. 1576 01:08:44,191 --> 01:08:45,158 Where's the vest? 1577 01:08:45,192 --> 01:08:46,694 No vest, it was a cummerbund. 1578 01:08:46,728 --> 01:08:47,528 I'm fine, the cummerbund. 1579 01:08:47,562 --> 01:08:48,529 Where is it? 1580 01:08:48,563 --> 01:08:49,797 - I don't know. - Shit. 1581 01:08:49,831 --> 01:08:53,034 I used it to choke Henry here in the car park of the church. 1582 01:08:53,067 --> 01:08:54,134 Well, what did you do with it after? 1583 01:08:54,167 --> 01:08:55,937 I stuck it down the sewer at the bar. 1584 01:08:55,970 --> 01:08:57,538 Like that's the first thing Denise is going to notice 1585 01:08:57,572 --> 01:08:58,940 when she sees you instead of Henry. 1586 01:08:58,973 --> 01:08:59,874 You had to use the cummerbund. 1587 01:08:59,907 --> 01:09:01,208 You couldn't use your hands or something? 1588 01:09:01,241 --> 01:09:03,811 Look, will you stop criticizing the way I work? 1589 01:09:03,845 --> 01:09:04,846 - I'm sorry. - Okay, good. 1590 01:09:04,879 --> 01:09:06,547 I'm sorry. I am nervous. 1591 01:09:07,447 --> 01:09:08,348 Oh, gosh, you're nervous. 1592 01:09:08,382 --> 01:09:09,751 I wasn't expecting to get married today. 1593 01:09:09,784 --> 01:09:11,251 It's okay. You're going to get married! 1594 01:09:12,053 --> 01:09:14,088 He is gonna get married! 1595 01:09:14,122 --> 01:09:15,355 Hey! 1596 01:09:18,291 --> 01:09:19,827 Should I even ask what I'm supposed to do 1597 01:09:19,861 --> 01:09:21,029 about a ring? 1598 01:09:21,062 --> 01:09:22,496 Funny you should ask, because I picked one up 1599 01:09:22,530 --> 01:09:23,665 this very morning. 1600 01:09:23,698 --> 01:09:25,833 From where? 1601 01:09:25,867 --> 01:09:28,636 I went to Jared. 1602 01:09:53,260 --> 01:09:55,163 I'm sure glad things worked out this way. 1603 01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:55,997 Yeah. 1604 01:09:56,030 --> 01:09:57,297 And when that swelling goes down, 1605 01:09:57,330 --> 01:09:59,232 you're gonna be like a new man. 1606 01:09:59,266 --> 01:10:01,769 Now, do you require me to beat some sense 1607 01:10:01,803 --> 01:10:03,938 into your head or are you prepared to walk 1608 01:10:03,971 --> 01:10:06,107 the line for love? 1609 01:10:06,140 --> 01:10:07,642 - I'm ready. - Good. 1610 01:10:07,675 --> 01:10:09,242 I'm so sorry about the mustard stain 1611 01:10:09,276 --> 01:10:10,178 on the bow tie. 1612 01:10:10,210 --> 01:10:12,580 Diverts the attention away from the blood. 1613 01:10:12,613 --> 01:10:13,480 What am I supposed to tell Denise 1614 01:10:13,514 --> 01:10:14,515 when she asks where Henry is? 1615 01:10:14,549 --> 01:10:15,983 Tell her the truth. 1616 01:10:16,017 --> 01:10:17,185 I don't even know what the truth is. 1617 01:10:17,217 --> 01:10:18,351 Oh, come on. 1618 01:10:18,385 --> 01:10:21,122 The truth is what is always has been, always will be. 1619 01:10:21,155 --> 01:10:24,324 It doesn't matter where Henry is because you're the one 1620 01:10:24,357 --> 01:10:27,061 she's going to marry, because you're the one 1621 01:10:27,095 --> 01:10:29,564 who's destined for her. 1622 01:10:29,597 --> 01:10:30,998 Oh, and if you see my mother, 1623 01:10:31,032 --> 01:10:35,603 would you tell her I'm sorry and I will call her later. 1624 01:10:35,636 --> 01:10:36,637 Am I free to go now? 1625 01:10:36,671 --> 01:10:40,108 Did I say you are free to go now? 1626 01:10:40,141 --> 01:10:40,808 Right. 1627 01:10:40,842 --> 01:10:42,910 Well, come on, come on. 1628 01:10:42,944 --> 01:10:44,912 You don't want Denise to think she's been stood up 1629 01:10:44,946 --> 01:10:45,980 at the altar. 1630 01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:47,048 Hey, hey, hey, you sure you don't want 1631 01:10:47,081 --> 01:10:48,950 a quick bachelor party because the strip club 1632 01:10:48,983 --> 01:10:50,450 is just down the block. 1633 01:10:50,484 --> 01:10:52,520 Yeah, I'm sure. 1634 01:10:52,553 --> 01:10:53,988 But I do expect you to get me a honeymoon suite 1635 01:10:54,021 --> 01:10:54,689 in Vegas. 1636 01:10:54,722 --> 01:10:55,923 Comp'd. 1637 01:10:55,957 --> 01:10:58,391 You got it, cuz. 1638 01:10:58,425 --> 01:11:01,562 Oh God, he wants to start another conversation. 1639 01:11:01,596 --> 01:11:02,830 I don't know what to say. 1640 01:11:02,864 --> 01:11:04,132 - Good. - Thank you. 1641 01:11:04,165 --> 01:11:05,499 You're welcome! 1642 01:11:05,533 --> 01:11:06,901 - Go! - Go! 1643 01:11:06,934 --> 01:11:09,837 Davey, Davey! 1644 01:11:09,871 --> 01:11:11,005 Whoo! 1645 01:11:12,907 --> 01:11:14,474 You think he's really got a chance? 1646 01:11:14,509 --> 01:11:16,010 I have no idea. 1647 01:11:24,118 --> 01:11:25,853 Oh, what the hell? 1648 01:11:25,887 --> 01:11:26,654 This can't be. 1649 01:11:26,687 --> 01:11:29,824 Uh, who is that guy? 1650 01:11:29,857 --> 01:11:30,958 Who's that guy? 1651 01:11:30,992 --> 01:11:31,859 Who's that girl? 1652 01:11:31,893 --> 01:11:33,694 She is smoking hot. 1653 01:11:33,728 --> 01:11:35,563 What do you mean who's that girl? 1654 01:11:35,596 --> 01:11:36,931 That is Denise. 1655 01:11:36,964 --> 01:11:38,800 No, that's not Denise. 1656 01:11:38,833 --> 01:11:39,834 What the fuck are you talking about? 1657 01:11:39,867 --> 01:11:41,736 Of course, that's Denise, man. 1658 01:11:41,769 --> 01:11:43,671 No. No, that's not Denise. 1659 01:11:43,704 --> 01:11:45,506 I mean, maybe that's your Denise but that's not the Denise 1660 01:11:45,540 --> 01:11:46,707 I was gonna marry. 1661 01:11:47,775 --> 01:11:50,111 Archie? 1662 01:11:50,144 --> 01:11:51,311 What the hell is going on? 1663 01:11:51,344 --> 01:11:52,947 "Congratulations, 1664 01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:58,252 Denise and Henry and Denise and Joe." 1665 01:11:58,286 --> 01:11:59,787 Oh, fuck. 1666 01:12:02,290 --> 01:12:05,660 I kidnapped the wrong bridegroom. 1667 01:12:08,495 --> 01:12:09,864 Oh, well. 1668 01:12:09,897 --> 01:12:11,833 I'm sorry? "Oh, well?" 1669 01:12:11,866 --> 01:12:14,401 You kidnapped the wrong groom and all you have to say 1670 01:12:14,434 --> 01:12:15,603 is "oh, well"? 1671 01:12:15,636 --> 01:12:18,405 That's so crazy. 1672 01:12:18,438 --> 01:12:21,108 Two Denises getting married at the same place 1673 01:12:21,142 --> 01:12:24,145 on the same day. 1674 01:12:24,178 --> 01:12:25,546 Some coincidence, huh? 1675 01:12:27,380 --> 01:12:32,452 Henry, you are officially released. 1676 01:12:34,454 --> 01:12:36,456 Oh, unless... 1677 01:12:36,489 --> 01:12:38,559 Unless you wanna marry your Denise. 1678 01:12:38,593 --> 01:12:39,694 No, no. 1679 01:12:39,727 --> 01:12:42,096 I knew which Denise I was marrying the whole time. 1680 01:12:43,831 --> 01:12:45,032 See ya. 1681 01:12:47,535 --> 01:12:48,870 Denise, please wait! 1682 01:12:48,903 --> 01:12:49,937 Dave! 1683 01:12:49,971 --> 01:12:51,772 Hey, forget about it, man! 1684 01:12:51,806 --> 01:12:53,307 You're too late. 1685 01:12:53,341 --> 01:12:56,277 Jesus, would you look at him? 1686 01:12:56,310 --> 01:12:58,079 You gotta do something. 1687 01:12:58,112 --> 01:13:00,615 Like what? Gun him down in the street? 1688 01:13:00,648 --> 01:13:02,016 I don't know. Something. 1689 01:13:02,049 --> 01:13:03,651 Anything. 1690 01:13:03,684 --> 01:13:04,719 Oh, God. 1691 01:13:04,752 --> 01:13:06,187 I gotta get out of this racket. 1692 01:13:06,220 --> 01:13:07,889 This is your fault. 1693 01:13:07,922 --> 01:13:11,325 Even dogs deserve to die with some dignity. 1694 01:13:15,796 --> 01:13:16,998 Right. 1695 01:13:22,103 --> 01:13:24,171 Ah! 1696 01:13:26,007 --> 01:13:27,141 Mmm. 1697 01:13:36,918 --> 01:13:39,253 Sorry, Dave! 1698 01:13:39,287 --> 01:13:42,623 Some things are just not meant to be. 1699 01:13:42,657 --> 01:13:44,525 Denise! 1700 01:13:44,558 --> 01:13:45,326 Da... Dave? 1701 01:13:45,359 --> 01:13:46,894 Oh my God, what are you doing here? 1702 01:13:46,928 --> 01:13:48,095 I've come to... 1703 01:13:50,798 --> 01:13:51,799 Bull's-eye. 1704 01:13:55,468 --> 01:13:56,270 Good shot. 1705 01:13:56,304 --> 01:13:59,840 Yes, I can still do it! 1706 01:13:59,874 --> 01:14:01,809 My work here is done. 1707 01:14:01,842 --> 01:14:02,977 Are you sure? 1708 01:14:03,010 --> 01:14:04,712 I mean, he's still breathing. 1709 01:14:06,147 --> 01:14:07,782 You can't be married! 1710 01:14:08,749 --> 01:14:09,917 He's not Henry. 1711 01:14:09,951 --> 01:14:10,885 What? 1712 01:14:10,918 --> 01:14:12,954 He's... that's Henry. 1713 01:14:12,987 --> 01:14:14,487 Who... who's Henry? 1714 01:14:14,522 --> 01:14:17,858 All I see is your stupid cousin and some old man 1715 01:14:17,892 --> 01:14:19,093 wearing red sneakers? 1716 01:14:19,126 --> 01:14:20,460 Henry's your fiancé. 1717 01:14:20,493 --> 01:14:21,295 What? 1718 01:14:21,329 --> 01:14:24,098 I don't know Henry, I married Joe. 1719 01:14:24,131 --> 01:14:26,133 Dave, you need to get some help. 1720 01:14:26,167 --> 01:14:28,302 I did get help, I got Archie. 1721 01:14:28,336 --> 01:14:30,738 And he kidnapped Henry and shoved him 1722 01:14:30,771 --> 01:14:31,706 in the bathroom stall, 1723 01:14:31,739 --> 01:14:33,473 and then... and then threatened to kill me, 1724 01:14:33,507 --> 01:14:36,310 then we had deli at my apartment, and all 1725 01:14:36,344 --> 01:14:38,279 so you and I could be together now. 1726 01:14:38,312 --> 01:14:41,248 Well, Dave, I... 1727 01:14:41,282 --> 01:14:43,417 I don't even know what to say to you, okay? 1728 01:14:43,451 --> 01:14:45,786 You need to move the fuck on! 1729 01:14:45,820 --> 01:14:49,657 But you've always wanted this big movie moment. 1730 01:14:49,690 --> 01:14:53,094 Here it is, New England clam chowder. 1731 01:14:54,028 --> 01:14:55,730 New... New England? 1732 01:14:58,265 --> 01:15:02,203 But you know, there was a moment a while back 1733 01:15:02,236 --> 01:15:04,872 that I thought maybe it was you and not Joe. 1734 01:15:04,905 --> 01:15:07,641 And? 1735 01:15:07,675 --> 01:15:11,112 And here I am, you know. 1736 01:15:11,145 --> 01:15:13,748 Sure, I never got that big movie moment, 1737 01:15:13,781 --> 01:15:16,951 but who cares when you're really in love? 1738 01:15:16,984 --> 01:15:20,121 Like who cares how love happens. 1739 01:15:20,154 --> 01:15:21,389 Are you ready, my princess? 1740 01:15:24,058 --> 01:15:25,326 Oh, Denise, no. 1741 01:15:25,359 --> 01:15:27,161 Oh, Denise, please. 1742 01:15:27,194 --> 01:15:29,663 No, no. Denise. 1743 01:15:29,697 --> 01:15:31,132 Come back. 1744 01:15:31,165 --> 01:15:34,001 Come back! 1745 01:15:38,005 --> 01:15:39,740 You know what, Archie, your tactics 1746 01:15:39,774 --> 01:15:43,644 were a little unorthodox, but for a while there 1747 01:15:43,677 --> 01:15:46,113 I really thought you had your shit together. 1748 01:15:46,147 --> 01:15:47,348 Yeah, well, that's the problem, you see. 1749 01:15:47,381 --> 01:15:51,052 Everyone loves a winner, but love is not a winning game. 1750 01:15:52,253 --> 01:15:53,954 That is why I never play. 1751 01:15:53,988 --> 01:15:55,524 - Never play? - Hmm. 1752 01:15:55,556 --> 01:15:56,991 You will. 1753 01:15:57,024 --> 01:15:58,225 One day. 1754 01:15:58,259 --> 01:16:00,227 Sooner than you think. 1755 01:16:15,009 --> 01:16:17,945 Stella? 1756 01:16:17,978 --> 01:16:19,113 Stella, is that you? 1757 01:16:19,146 --> 01:16:20,014 Dave. 1758 01:16:22,316 --> 01:16:24,151 You have an arrow in your ass. 1759 01:16:24,185 --> 01:16:26,387 I know. 1760 01:16:26,420 --> 01:16:28,322 Denise is married. 1761 01:16:28,355 --> 01:16:29,757 Is that so? 1762 01:16:31,592 --> 01:16:34,995 Come with me. I'll get you healed right up. 1763 01:16:39,066 --> 01:16:41,702 Can we have chocolate cake? 1764 01:16:41,735 --> 01:16:42,870 Of course. 1765 01:16:45,906 --> 01:16:48,543 But Dave here, at least, has learned a lesson today. 1766 01:16:48,577 --> 01:16:50,444 Really? What lesson is that? 1767 01:16:50,478 --> 01:16:52,880 Never talk to a stranger in a bar. 1768 01:16:52,913 --> 01:16:55,249 Talking of which, I'm thirsty. 1769 01:16:55,282 --> 01:16:56,784 Come and join me. 1770 01:16:58,652 --> 01:17:00,254 Oh, fuck! 1771 01:17:00,287 --> 01:17:02,356 Isn't that the girl that Dave met at Vegas? 1772 01:17:09,063 --> 01:17:10,464 Damn! 1773 01:17:13,734 --> 01:17:17,004 Anyone ever told you, you can be a real prick? 1774 01:17:17,037 --> 01:17:18,906 Not in the last two minutes. 114738

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