All language subtitles for There.Is.No.I.in.Threesome.2021.1080p.WEB.H264-NAISU-English

You OK?

Yeah.
I'm ready.

OK.

I have to pee.

You have to pee?
Go for it.

Oh, yeah.
There's no one here.

OK.
Fuck. Except that guy.

I'll just go with it.

I don't think he even noticed we're here.

OK.

OK, fuck. OK, This
is actually happening.

Yeah.

Maybe I shouldn't have
the strap around my wrist-

- so that my wrist
doesn't fall off when...

OK. But when are...
Fuck.

So we go straight,
straight like a candle.

Yeah, I'm crossing my legs
so I don't split in two.

Argh.
Fucking come on.

Don't look down.

I'm gonna be sick in a minute.

OK.
Now shooting.

Are you doing this with me?

Yeah.
We'll do this together.

This is gonna look
good in the film.

I'm gonna count down...
Oh, fuck.

...from 10...
Oh, fuck.

...until 1.
Oh, fuck.

And on zero, you jump.

OK. Holding hands.

10, 9, 8...
Fuck.

7, 6...
Fuck, fuck.

5, 4, 3...

2, 1. Go!
Aah! Aah!

? Mia: Ich bin heut morgen ?
? aufgewacht ?

? Was hab ich seitdem alles ?
? falsch gemacht ?

? Eine Stimme aus dem Radio ?

? Sagt heute ?
? w�r sie gar nicht froh ?

? Das wir auf fremde kosten ?
? gl�cklich sind ?

? Ich seh mich um und glaub ?
? das es stimmt ?

? Klebt an meinem Kaffee Blut ?

? Schmecke das halb nur halb ?
? so gut ?

? Dann geh ich auf die Stra�e ?

? Und das tut weh ?

? Weil ich statt einem L�cheln ?

? Nur leere Gesichter she ?

? Ich bin gerad aufgewacht ?

? Hab meine Augen aufgemacht ?

? F�r einen ersten ?

? Schritt ist es nie zu sp�t ?

? Ich habe angefangen ?

? Ich hab jetzt �kostrom ?

? Ich will mein Leben ?

? Weil es sonst ?
? ein andrer lebt... ?

? Lebt... ?

That's Zoe.
She's an actress.

I can do a handstand as well.

Ooh, fuck.

And this is me... Ollie.

I make films.

We got engaged one year ago-

- and have been in an open
relationship for three months,

- which means we are mostly committed,
but allowed to cheat on each other.

Zoe is the love of my life,

- but I always felt like I didn't
make the most of my 20s,

- that I was a
sexual underachiever.

So with the wedding
as the finishing line,

- being open seems like the perfect
way to get that out of my system.

I am part German, though,
so I did insist on some rules.

You want me to read it out?

Do you mind if you read them out?

OK, let me get it.

This is the
"Monogamous Manifesto,"

- the rules that we have
set up to safeguard our love.

What if your man
becomes grubby, lazy...

What do you mean, "becomes"?

Zoe: Rule number one...

...our primary goal is to
create a fun, happy,

- healthy sexually exciting
relationship with each other.

Satisfying our libidos and egos-

- always comes second to the health,
and happiness of our relationship.

Do you love me?

How much?

That much.

The second rule of
the manifesto,

- which states that there is to be-

- plenty of warning before
sleeping with someone else-

- and that only samesies...
same-sex encounters...

...are permitted.

But I just fucked a guy,
so we're way past that.

Yeah, yeah.
I'm growing a lot-

- because we have to
talk a lot about stuff...

Talk 'cause we're doing this.

But also, you know,

- before something
happens and afterwards.

Rule number 3...

...honesty is paramount,

- and we talk about every encounter.

Do you need to talk,
boyfriend-husband?

Do you want to talk about it?

I've got so much detail.

No, no, that's good.
I'm fine.

I've got so much to tell
you about, his oblong...

OK, that's fine.
That's fine. I'm fine. Ugh.

Zoe and I are making
this film together.

And, yes, as if all this sleeping
around isn't self-indulgent enough,

- here we are making what
is essentially a selfie film.

Using mainly our phones, the camera
is only ever an arm's length away.

This is natural, isn't it?

So I've put your phone
in the corner there.

You want me to put
my phone where?

I've just put it on a tripod.

Just leave it there.

Yeah, that's good.
Yup.

Same for the microphones.

Like here...

...I'm in charge of it...

...and here...

...and here.

Don't. Is it right on the
back of the pants or...?

I mean...

OK. Do I need to show off all
the gear I got, do you think?

Are people gonna care?

They don't care about your gear.

You know what they do
care about, though, babe?

You know what they
are gonna like?

The carrot?

No, not the carrot.

And you fellating it.

No.

No, they're gonna care about
what's in the other package.

This gear?

Uh-uh-uh.

Using us as the main subjects,

- the idea is to highlight an
alternative to monogamy.

That you can have your
cake and eat it, too.

I love cake.

No, no. Come on.

OK. Can you please tell us, Ollie,

- what is that that you have there?

And please pull it up into shot.

Further into shot.
Higher, higher, higher, higher,

- high... yeah.
Good. Now we got it.

What is it, Ollie?

It's a pumping device.

For?

Um, for you, really.

You bought... well, what are
you gonna pump for me?

OK. This is how it works.
Give me a carrot.

Give you a carrot?

OK.

And...

Is...

Hang on.

It's suction.
You put water in-

- and then...

...like, you push the water out...

Yeah.

...and it creates
suction on the carrot.

The carrot, which is
really, obviously...

And then you've
got a bigger carrot.

OK, that's enough.

No, no, but I want
to know, babe.

Yes.

You feel you need a bigger penis?

Well, it wouldn't hurt.

I don't know if I want
this in the documentary.

I know. I know.

You warm enough?

Yeah.

We are a team.

We make things together.

The outcome is usually some short,
wanky visual montage thingy-

- that we will one day
force our kids to watch.

What if I laid down?

I fell in love with Zoe's brain
three years ago.

These silly little projects remind
me of why I want to marry her.

Real sexy.

Am I meant to look
emo or something?

Make noises!

Run!
Make the noise.

I think this might be sewage.

With every project, we knit
ourselves closer and tighter.

Now you can see everything.

Not on the nipple.

No, don't!
Not on the nipple.

Hyah!
Ha ha!

This will be good for us,
and for your eyebrows.

And the film will
be good, too, yes.

You will be like Frida
Kahlo sans monobrow.

OK, got it.
Sit still now.

Ugh!

Our wedding is less than 12 months
away, and the perfect ending for our film.

Well, I'll walk you through it.

We were thinking
if the altar is here...

I wish I could ride up
the aisle on a horse.

Well, we could
arrange that, I'm sure.

We could probably actually do that.

It'd be a short ride.

I'll come in from here...

- ...the dress draping...
- Yup.

...jump off.

It'd be pretty exciting.

- It is exciting.
- Yeah.

You could go right up to the altar.

Oh, ha ha.

Hello.

Hello.

The German spy.

Yes.
How are you?

That's good.
Fine, fine.

How are you?
[Speaking German]

- And this is Maina.
- Hi, Maina.

Hi, Maina.
Meeting.

Hello, Maina.

So it's going to be
a New Zealand wedding,

- but I was thinking if I wear-

- that traditional Indian outfit...
what was that called?

Yeah, the turban, kind of a
turban, and the long kurta. Yeah.

The one that I got
for Liam's wedding.

Yeah, but still it might...
have you tried it-

- if it fits you still?
Ha ha.

No. No,
I haven't.

Ha ha. So probably I'll have
to get you a new set.

The bride has to wear red
because nothing can outdo the bride,

- and she needs to be
the best on that day.

Oh. Is it red, not white?

She has to wear red?

Red, red is the traditional
sari color for marriage, red.

And, uh...

With the mid...

Of course, a red point, the red
dot, which is a sign of marriage.

Oh, yeah.
You get it already made now.

It's no big deal.

I don't have to draw a circle.

You know, she just has
to stick it. It's a red dot.

But... but...
but I want you to draw a circle.

But imagine everyone looking
at the dot instead of-

- the face because the
circle's not turned out round.

No way.
I'm not gonna draw it.

But you can draw a circle.

I can't.

It's just a circle.

You can just dip your
finger in paint and go.

You got to come to India and marry.

Then I've got a person
who'll put the henna,

- a person who'll measure you.

Would you prefer if we came
to India to get married?

It would be... uh, let's say,
it's easier, because...

For you.

I'm really so thankful
to Ganesha and Shiva-

- and to all the gods
I've prayed that you-

- finally found the girl
you've been looking for.

That's a real cool...
drag dress... drag top.

Hi. Yes, we're making a film
about our open relationship.

How's it going?

It's going really good, so if
you want to, you know, like...

- All right.
- ...whatever.

"All right, all right. All right."

Here.
Take the camera back.

Are you OK with this?

Is it OK?
Are you OK?

Yes.
Like...

OK. Thank you.

When people ask us why
we're in an open relationship,

- we cycle through explanations:

You can be more versions of
yourself with different partners.

We want to make the most of
our bodies while they're stretchy.

God, you're a weirdo...

Love is never secure no
matter how much we pretend it is.

There is always a third
waiting for their chance.

So we embrace the third.

But nothing sticks until we
mention that we are long distance,

- and then people get it.

Hey. Can you talk?
Can you narrate?

I mean, can you talk about
where you're off to, Zoe?

Why are you leaving me?

OK.
Well, we're at Dunedin airport.

And I'm going to Auckland
airport without Ollie,

- but he promises he's coming soon.

I'm going because...

...you can't be an actor
in Dunedin, turns out.

Surprise, surprise.
So I'm going out there.

Yeah.

So I'm going up there,
but I'm going to miss you.

I'm coming.

What are you doing, you idiot?

So the camera can pick it up.

So this... why, why?

It's like, those little pecky stuff,
the camera's not gonna register.

Oh, so we have to do this?

I like it.

Or maybe not.

Give me a cuddle.

OK.
I love you.

I love you.

I'm gonna miss you.

Hello.

I got a new job in town editing,
and I'm biking to work.

It's about 25 minutes.

Gonna strap this
GoPro into my bike...

...and I'm gonna bike up
hills, and lose weight-

- and save money, and not get run
over because I've got my fluoro on.

? Big city ?

? Big city ?

? Big city, big... ?

? We live in it ?

I don't have any family in
New Zealand apart from Zoe.

? A man wears headphones ?
? in the back seat ?

? He seems pretty out of it, ?
? the bus is lurching... ?

And with her now at-

- the other end of the country,
I can spend all my time at work.

I love my work.
I work a lot.

These days, you can't even call someone
a sheila, or a chook or a bloody galah.

Zoe loves her craft, too.

She's good at it.

She gets to play the many
versions of her extroverted self.

I'll just that's enough for this.

That's really good.

Girlfriend-wife.

Girlfriend-wife.
Boyfriend-husband.

Yes.

You look happy.

I'm happy.

Yeah?
I miss you already.

? Big city ?

? Big city ?

? Big city... ?

Have you adjusted
your app settings?

Yeah, of course.

All right.
So how's that up there?

Is it better than down here?

Yeah, yeah.
But there's way more... matches.

? Big city ?

? Big city ?

? Big city, big... ?

I got a new bike clock for my bike.

Oh, that's... ha ha!

That was the highlight since
you've left, pretty much.

? Big city, big ?

? We live in it ?

? Everyone's ?
? anonymous now... ?

I'll just... I'll keep looking on Grindr.

OK.
Are you OK?

It's a bit awkward because,
you know, you're in a small town.

Yeah, I think I saw someone
on there that I know.

Are you all right about it?

Yeah, yeah.
No, it's fine.

OK. Good.
Yes.

I'm glad.

? La la la la la la... ?

Being in an open relationship has
allowed me to embrace being bisexual.

It was a lingering curiosity
throughout my 20s, but never explored.

? Big city ?

? Big city ?

? Big city, big... ?

OK, it's Monday night,
2 minutes before 21:00.

My date's at 21:00.

It's with a guy called Thomas.

I'm just gonna get
a wide shot of Albar.

Now I embrace it,
and it comes in very handy-

- because it's not easy finding
a woman interested-

- in a casual encounter
with a guy who's engaged-

- in a city of just
over 100.000 people.

Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Ollie.
- Thomas.

Do you mind if I film?

Um, yeah.
Sorry.

I'll turn this off.

OK.

Sorry. I...

Got it?
Yeah.

All right.
All set.

It is quarter past 2100.

And I finished my date with Thomas.

Um, it was a bit awkward.

I shouldn't have filmed.

Cool. Right...

I'll be right back.

OK.

Hi.

What do you do?

I'm trying to relax.

Sorry.

If you'd stop talking, it'd be great.

OK.

What are you boys
chatting about?

Bread.

Oh, bits and bobs.

- Bits and bobs?
- Hi.

Hey, babe. OK,
we're gonna just...

OK... I think that's enough,
for you for one evening.

OK. Thank you.

You can finish yourself
off, OK, babe?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where are we going, Rose?

We're going to Gigi,
adult department store,

- where we have
adult toys, lingerie,

- pills and stimulants.

Ooh! Shit.

What the... sh... let's...

Someone else came.

Can we just talk about
this for a second?

Hmm?

I mean, does your fanny sparkle?

Yes, it does, actually.

I saw this guy last night.

He'd shaved all down there.

Ew, OK.

"Surprise. My dick's small."

Was it non-consensual?

No.

Here we are 10 months
until the wedding.

Why am I filming you
washing your hands?

I can't wash my hands
because there's no soap.

No soap at a sex party?

It's the classic formula
of boy meets girl,

- girl gets engaged to boy,
boy takes girl to a sex party-

- at a central Auckland private residence that
features a grope tent, multiple sex swings,

- a bondage play area, plenty of
lube, butt plugs and strap-ons.

Earlier that evening, and
because this is all new to us...

? I'm getting ready ?
? for a sex party ?

? I'm getting ?
? ready for a sex party ?

That's the chorus.

I haven't thought of
any of the rest of it.

The voice of an angel.

We made sure to be extra
meticulous in our preparations.

All right. I was gonna
wear this on my left arm-

- just to cover my tattoos so
people won't think I'm in a gang.

No one's gonna think
you're in a gang, babe.

They might.

OK, so this we haven't tried yet,
but we've bought.

Yeah.

Are we gonna use it for
the first time tonight?

Yeah, baby.

Does it even hurt?

No, a little bit.

Go gently first.

Oh, that's fine.
OK.

Ow. Fuck.
That went right in the vag.

Sorry.

OK, retake it.

So you want me to hold it?

Yeah, you're the dominant.
Pull it a bit.

But keep the tension.
Do it exactly like a dog.

- Ohh, it's so weird.
- Why is it weird?

'Cause I'm hurting you.

You're not hurting me.

Just pull it harder, like that.

You film me while I hold it.

OK. So you're my master.

OK. What do I call you?
Slave? Lady?

My main girl...

...little lady...

Little lady.

You are Elizabeth the slave lady.

Just go, "Roar!"

OK.

Roar.

Oh, you're pathetic.

Shut up, Elizabeth.

Zoe and I started this journey-

- armed with little more than a
handful of rules, and raging libidos.

But it's time to face facts:

We are now officially
full-blown swingers.

- Make it "Rah-rah-roar!"
- Why?

Just 'cause it helps.

Helps you?

Yeah.

Is that how people do bondage?

Babe?

Yeah.

I can't wait to do this with you.

I'm really excited.

Come on. That's enough.
Let's just go.

And turn your phone off
'cause you're not a pervert.

You were pretty much.

OK.

Oh. Are we kissing?

Yeah.
We're gonna do a kiss.

OK.

OK. I'll start off on, like,
are we doing portrait or...

No.

- ...this way?
- No.

- No?
- Never.

Never.
You did not ask me that.

You do landscape, babe...

...please.

OK.
OK.

Your leg was up, though,
akimbo on the whatsit.

My leg was adumbo.

Akimbo.

Akimbo.

Husband-boyfriend.

Ooh.
Hello.

Hey, husband...
Hey.

What would you like to talk about?

No, you can't...

Oh, just say "Start."

You shit.
I'll just shut up.

Husband-boyfriend,

- may I please take
a second of your time?

Yeah, I'm just reading a book.

I know, but I've got something
really important I want to discuss.

What would you like to discuss?

Um, I've been thinking...

Mm-hmm.

...that we should maybe
try an open relationship.

Is that how you're gonna say it?

What, I guess it was a bit
expositional, wasn't it, like...

We used to do it together.

Is this you being in the
scene, or is this Ollie telling...

Yeah.
No.

OK.
So in real life, no, I said it.

Did you?

Yeah, I definitely said it.

Hey, Nini.

Ready?

Good girl.

Good girl!

Here's what I love about Zoe:

One... she talks in
her sleep, frequently.

The most innocent, cute little stories.
Abstract, like poetry.

Sometimes she farts
in her sleep, too.

How long have you been filming me?

Two... her confidence.

She knows who she is,
and she likes herself. That's hard.

What's it, like it's a doggie's tail?

Three...

This is how a chef does it,
from a great height.

She's a full adult, soaking oats
overnight, flossing her teeth daily.

Four... her energy.

She tells the sun off
for rising too late.

And I get to ride in her wake.

Oh! That was supposed
to be a "Whoo!",

- but I tripped at the same time.

And five...
she's smarter than me.

She has a bigger vocabulary
because she reads more.

I used to argue that I'm visual
instead, that we are equals.

1, 2, 3.

But then, you're only as
smart as the things you do,

- the things you say.

I am so excited to marry you, Zoe.

I love you so much.

I admire your intelligence-

- and that you're really
confident in yourself-

- and that you've chosen
me to be your husband.

It makes me really proud, and
strive to be the best self I can be.

Soon: Husband and wife.

No one else.

This is Tom.
Ollie, meet Tom.

Tom, meet Ollie.

Hi, Ollie.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Good to see you.

Good to see you, too.
You're a bit blurry.

Oh.

So I went on a date with Tom.

Who's Tom again?

Tom, the guy who's directing my play.

Right.

Well, it wasn't a date,
but we just went... well, it...

...now it's a date, but it wasn't
supposed to be a date at the time.

We just went for a beer after rehearsals,
and we carried on drinking,

- and we just ended up
at this club,

- and we were dancing,
and we were just talking.

And I... I could not stop laughing
that my face is so sore from laughing.

Oh, sorry. Yeah.
That's great.

No, it feels weird to tell,
obviously, you...

...that... I had just
such an amazing time-

- with this guy and
I'm really into him.

Yup.

His last name's Tom Roy, so you
can Face talk him if you want.

Tom Roy.
It's like two first names.

Yeah. He's an actor.
But that is his real name.

He didn't change it.
He's an actor and director.

He's got this really deep,
sexy voice.

Did that get all weird?

There's a photo of him with a gun.

How old is he?

He's like our age,
but he's an actor.

In a gorilla costume.
Is he goofy?

He's not goofy, but he's got
a really good sense of humor.

Like, it's different from
your sense of humor,

- but he's... he's really
witty and sharp and...

- Yeah. Cool.
- Yeah.

But, like, underplayed,
quite deadpan.

Uh-huh.

He makes me laugh anyway.

Is he straight?

Yeah, real straight, babe.

Wouldn't be keen on... I'm sorry.

So this is gonna be,
like fuck buddies or...?

Fucking, the chicken's going off again.

I'm just gonna jump out and...

No, I think it's gonna
be more than that.

Yeah?

Can you hear that chicken?

Yeah. Why are you doing
about the chickens?

We're having an actual
meaningful conversation.

Can you be present?

Sorry. Yes. OK.

What do you want me to do?

Just walk into the
shot and be normal.

That's good.

Very good.

Very good.

Bye, babe.

Whoo.

Being polyamorous means
choosing to reject monotony.

That means we have to
negotiate jealousy instead,

- which is just an emotion you
can train yourself to overcome.

Right?

Right?

? La la la la la ?

Whoa.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Will you tell me what
happened on Sunday?

On Sunday.

So I was meeting up with this guy.

His name was Ollie.

I met up with him with my dog.

And he was very squishy.
Ha ha.

I felt like maybe it
was just heartburn.

I mean, you know,
and I was nervous, too.

Do you know what this plant is?

A swan plant?
Swan.

Swan.
Yeah.

For the monarchs.

And then I suggested that
we went home to your house.

And then you said that, um,
you'd have to talk about it-

- before we sort of took that next
step, and I totally understood that.

Yeah. There's no way
I want to do anything-

- to compromise your relationship.

Hmm.

Um...

...do you want to say
anything to Zoe?

Hi.
Um, I can't wait to meet you,

- and I don't want you
to feel threatened-

- or anything towards me because
I am just so looking forward-

- to being in your life,
and Ollie's life.

And if you're not,
that's cool, too.

I can go away and do
something else with my life.

But the ball is in your
court and Ollie's court, OK?

Wow.

How was your day?

Great.
Went on a date with Siobhan,

- and we walked her dog
for a wee in the park.

So I got Siobhan's message.

She seems cool.

Yeah, she's a good egg.

Do you like her?

I like her.

Oka... Ok.

No, Zoe, it's not... it's not like,
not like love, really.

It's just nice to feel
desired by someone new.

You OK?

Yeah.

Yeah, yup.

I guess I'm the one...

...that's been used to having
all the hook-ups. But, yup.

Welcome to my world.

Yeah, welcome to your world.

This is what it feels like.

I'm fine with it.

Just don't go see her all the time.

Like, don't spend
every second with her.

All right.

When are you going
out with her again?

Um, well, I was going
to talk to you about it...

Yes.

...because we've got great
communicating skills,

- and I'm making sure
that you are fine with it.

I am fine.
I am fine.

I have the feelings, but I...

...am... I am happy,
for you as well.

I am happy for you, babe.

Thank you.
I love you.

I love you, too.

We're still getting married, eh?

Of course we are.

OK, fine. I love you.
I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you.

I love you.
I love you...

...to the moon
and back.

OK, bye.
Mwah.

Yeah. You hang up.
No, you hang up.

Don't do that.
Don't...

Just don't... shut up.

I'm hanging up.
I don't even want to... bye.

OK.

? Over the sea ?

? Under the stars ?

? I found myself ?

? In a roadside bar ?

? Fistful of fire ?

? Just looking ?
? for a fight ?

? But all I found was... ?

Circle. Yup,
circle. Yup. Go.

OK, good.
Oh, that... that... yeah.

Bowie?
Hey.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Hello.

Hello. How are you?

All right.

How was work?

Work was fine.

I'm sweaty.

I just got a text from Zoe.

Yeah.

She's going to a
grinding party tonight.

- What's that?
- I don't know.

They just grind.

Anyway, so I'm
just gonna say, "Yup."

"Do what you want,

- and, "Have as much
sex as you want."

"I don't really care."

So we'll just have
to have as much fun-

- as they do at a grinding
party on open marriage night.

It's a competition.

Well, I'm making a
vegan cauliflower bake,

- so I really doubt that we're
gonna be having that much fun.

Well, that sounds pretty good.

OK, that's it.
Bye.

We're having a really good time.

I pretty much just moved
in with Siobhan, for a week.

I thought it was longer.

Oh, two months?

I thought you said,
"At least 6 months."

Yes.

I haven't had
food poisoning in...

1-1-2.

Oh, that's us.
Hold on.

1-1-2!

1-1-2.

Thank you.
Yeah...

I can't wait for
Ollie to meet you.

Why?

So he'll see you're a good guy.

Hiya.

Ha-ah.

- I'm filming.
- I know.

- Is that all right?
- Yeah.

I now have a girlfriend...

...as well as a fiancee.

She's very pretty.

Why do you have a girlfriend...

...when you've already got a fiancee?

Why not?

It means that I can be
more versions of myself.

- One version of you is enough...
- Ha ha!

Let alone 3 or 4!

You got a fiancee.
You don't need a girlfriend.

Wilbur, it's not like...

- Yeah?
- Ha ha!

It's not like we're this vessel-

- with a limited amount of
love that we can give to people.

Like, if you have children,

- you can love more than...

...if you had two children,
you would love them both.

You wouldn't just love one of them.

Yeah? You wouldn't fuck
your children, hopefully.

I mean...

...I'm talking about love,
you're talking about sex.

They're just...
they're intertwined.

I disagree, Wilbur.

We shall meet again in a year,

- and I'll stand above you saying,
"Look at what I've got.

"Look at what we have built,

- a nonconformist, different
type of relationship."

"All the people who
didn't believe in me-

- will be sitting down like
the fat losers like they are.

"And I will have my 3 girlfriends-

- who mean nothing to me
apart from my fiancee."

That's not true.

I very much like Siobhan a lot.

Yeah, cool.
Yeah.

She should have a chance to like
someone like you like Zoe, though.

So how's it going with Tom?

Awesome.

I can tell.

- Look at your face.
- Don't push it...

It's like glowing.

What about Ollie?

The director thing is, like...

...it's making Ollie a bit threatened.

Plus, he's got a motorbike, so...

But it's fine.
I think he's fine.

Are you fine? Ha ha!
Like, because...

But he's threatened, though.

Well, yeah, yeah.
But I...

He's threatened in multiple ways.

We always knew that
was gonna be part of it.

Like, jealousy's just
this thing, you know.

We talked about it.

But it's also like, I told him-

- Tom isn't husband material.
He's not...

...he's, you know, he just got
out of this really long-term,

- like, totally fucked-up relationship.

That doesn't mean that he-

- can't have a relationship
in the future.

It just means that now
he's unavailable.

Yeah, but with me,

- he doesn't want
kids or anything, so...

- and I want like... I want,
like, a little army of,

- like, that... you know,
they stay really small.

And me and Ollie are just,
you know, and there's no way I'm-

- never gonna stop
finding Ollie attractive.

He's... I love him.
He's my husband-boyfriend.

- I know you hate me saying that.
- Yeah.

OK. I guess that makes sense.

OK, I'm coming.

Oh, I think it's a bit big,
a bit maternity bride.

Are you a maternity bride?

How do you not fall over in this?

I guess you do have to lift it up.

What are the tissues for?

They're for people crying.

Why aren't you crying?
I came out.

You should be crying.
I'm so beautiful.

Tom said that he wants to love me-

- as much as he can before
big changes happen-

- 'cause who knows what will...?

That is good.

Do you hold your dress
when you walk down?

No.
You just...

You only hold your flowers,
and your dad.

But he also said that he'll still be
stopping by when I'm pregnant,

- so I'll still be sexy and beautiful, and
he'll want to put his hands all around me.

And I told Ollie that, and he said he
didn't want Tom's dong touching his baby.

You know Saint Bathans
in Central Otago?

That's a place where I go...

Yeah.

I was there, and I was
walking around a lake.

There's a beautiful lake,

- and then I suddenly
slipped and fell, and...

When?

Oh, just a couple of weeks ago.

And then?

And then I looked around
if someone saw me fall.

And then I became
curious as to why-

- my first response was to check-

- if someone else saw me fall,
and where that comes from.

And I think it's looking for some
sort of connection with someone-

- to validate my experience to
share the experience with, you know?

Just so that I'm not alone.

Hmm, but there are no crocodiles
in that lake you swam on, right?

No, get away.
Aah.

I'm too slow.
Now, get off. Get off.

I give up. I give up.

Whoa!

- This is lovely, darling.
- Yeah.

Gorgeous.

All right.
Just give it to me.

Ooh, whoo.

Just open your mouth a bit more.

Oh, I'm on video mode.

Oh, for God's sake!

I'll send it to Tom.

No reception here.

Yeah, well, I'll send it
when we get home.

Ah, yeah, yeah.

OK, OK, OK, OK.

? Ooh ooh ooh... ?

I started making a documentary.

Yeah.

And what started as
a documentary about-

- going into an open relationship...

...do you know what that means?

Living together.

No.
Uh, open relationship means-

- that you're together but you're
allowed to have sex with other people.

Oh. Oh.

And then we became polyamorous.

Do you know what that is?

No.

It means having multiple partners.

So it's in the film where
you actually did it.

No, we actually did it.

So we started making a documentary
about going into an open relationship,

- and then she found a boyfriend.

Yeah.

And I found a girlfriend.

Yeah.

And so you've never had an
experience with polyamory, obviously, so...

No. Like, what you said I've got to
check on the Internet what that means.

Just don't do an image search.

And it's gonna be kind of
happy ending with our wedding?

Yeah.
Heh.

Once we get to the wedding,
then we stop this,

- and we'll just be monogamous,
just her and I, you know?

So it's just to have a bit of
fun before we get married.

So you're gonna show all that.

It's going to be a semi-porno thing?

- OK.
- This will be fun.

Off we go.

It's only 4 months until Zoe
and I are getting married.

Let's make it warm.

Yeah, that'll be nicer.

Today is the day she
finally meets Siobhan.

We're at her place,
supposedly dog sitting.

Hey, Bowie.

Want an enema?

"OK, Ollie."

Would you like an enema, Bowie?

Would you like an enema?

Would you like an enema?

Good thing we're doing it
in the bathtub in case...

Yeah.

In theory, sharing a home
enema kit sounded like fun.

Ooh!

You all right?

- Yeah. Are you ready?
- Yup.

OK.

In theory, it seemed like-

- the perfect way to prepare
ourselves, for any eventuality.

Oh, fuck. OK.

In theory.

Bowie, no.

So I'm putting oil on there.

- Yup.
- Aah.

It's fucking cold.

OK. Well, I'm just
on your face.

I'm not looking at your...
we're not looking at your...

Oh, yeah, it's happening.
Uhh.

OK, so it's going from
the hot water bottle to...

You want to hold my hand?

Oh, it's all lubed up, isn't it?

Is that the one you used
to put it in your ass?

It's empty. It's empty.

I'm gonna stay on the other side
of your asshole in case it starts.

Poor Bowie's over
there waiting for...

...about to get it in the face.

OK, I have to get up.

Where are we going, Bowie?
Where is he going?

Run for your life.

Ollie: Oh. Ohh. Oh.

OK, if you jump around a bit,
don't step in the bath, though, OK?

OK.

Do a little dance.
Do a little wiggle.

Well done.

Oh, no!
Ugh!

Tell why we're doing this.

OK. So, ahem. We're about
to have our first threesome-

- with Siobhan, and
there might be butt play.

Oh, my God.
OK, OK, OK, go!

I got to go.
Get away. Get away, Bowie.

Are you OK?

You know, there are
certain events in your life-

- where you appreciate
that you're healthy...

...and you appreciate your
knees when you go down hills.

Yup.

But today is a day
where I appreciate-

- that I've got
a really healthy,

- well-functioning anus.

It lets me keep some dignity.

You... you feel OK?

What do you mean?

About last night?

Yes.
Ha ha.

I feel great about last night.

You didn't mind seeing
me and Siobhan?

No. It was good to watch my man
be virile with another woman.

Wow.
Viral.

Whirr?
What are you...?

Vi... viral?
Virile.

I don't... what's that mean?

It means like,
potent-like, like a lion.

Raw-rawr.

That's... that's exactly right.

Like,
"Rawr-rawr."

That should be my middle name.

Jan Ollie Viral Lucks?

Have you and Siobhan
said the L word?

Um, say again?

Have you and Siobhan
said the L word?

No.
I don't think..

I'm not sure we feel that way.

I mean, I see her more as a friend.

Tom told me he loved me.

When?

A couple days, there or so, ago.

What did you say?

I said, um, "Me, too."

He said he'd suck cock for me,
which is, like, pretty much-

- the ultimate declaration of love.

I suck cock for you all the time.

You OK with the bag, babe?

Oh, yeah. Well, one of us
has got to film the other one,

- and it's usually you, because
you're becoming increasingly-

- the director.
- No, no, no. I film.

I don't mind.

The whole film will just be my face.

You're much prettier than me.

I just kissed her hand off-camera.

You're doing it on camera now?

Are you sure that's on?

Come and help.
Grab the other side.

Want to do cheers?

To us.

OK.
Can you film me?

You want me to film you?
Sure.

I feel...

Oh, goodness. Where are
you going with this, darling?

Um, I feel like I'm giving up...

Um...

...I guess I'm just sort of
understanding now that we,

- you know,
we're going over a bridge-

- and suddenly,
there's your life with me,

- but there's also a separate
life where you have...

- Right.
- ...secrets.

Well, they're not secrets.
They're just...

No, I know.

But it does feel like I'm...
giving up...

...part of you and,
you know, like,

- there's only a little
bit less of Zoe left.

I don't think when we have kids,

- Tom's gonna fit into our unit, so...

OK, serious now.

Try and be with me
and not with that.

OK.

If it wasn't for this film,

- would you ask me to leave Tom?

Would you be able to stop seeing
him if I asked you to stop seeing him?

It doesn't matter.

When we have kids, he's not
gonna fit into our family unit, so...

OK. We'll just have kids now.

- What? Yes, now.
- Ja!

On the ground next to you.

Oh, my God.
Cuties.

Little birdie.

What's he gonna do with that?
He's gonna be...

- Oh, he can fly with it.
- Ha ha!

He's a muscle man.
Ha ha!

There he is.

Oh, you sex god.

Who? Me?

- Ha ha. Yeah, you.
- Who? Me?

Yeah.

You're so handsome.

? I scour the years... ?

Ha ha! But you don't
have to deal with all this.

No. All this.

All of the domestic neuroses.

All the domestic neuroses.

Oliver can deal with
the domestic neuroses.

You just get to have a...

You just take that shit
back down to him.

...good time.
Ha ha!

? Well, I wish the ?
? scientists were wrong ?

? When they say... ?

Do you think that looks good?

What do you care?

You haven't been filming
as much recently.

Enough.

Now, this must be
where the bulb goes.

Ohh.
Mansplain.

Can you explain something for me?

As long as it's not about the lamp.

Yeah, it's not about the lamp.

No, monogamy.

OK. Sorry.

If all these different
versions of yourself exist-

- for different people,
which one of those is for me?

You know which bit's for you.

You're so cute on the spot.

Don't. You know
which bit's for you.

I told you.
I've never done this before.

I haven't felt like this before.

You know.

Thank you.

- Does that make sense?
- Mm-hmm.

Did I just mansplain
that well enough?

Mm-hmm.

Don't shake it.

It's working for you, isn't it?

You don't want commitment and
a long-term relationship, do you?

Not after your ex.

Let's make this lamp.

You do it.
Do you want gin or vodka?

Vodka.

OK.
I believe in you, babe.

I believe in you.

You believe in me?

All I've got to do is make gin.

I don't need a lot of, like, belief.

I believe...
I believe in your gin.

That's too tight.

Oh, don't.
You'll fall over.

Let me go up backwards.

You'll fall over.
No, you're too pissed.

No, you're too pissed to do this.

OK. Ha ha!
You can't carry...

I don't think this is
how you go upstairs.

You're never going to make it.

You're never going to make it.

OK, come on.

Don't.
Be normal.

OK.
You look good.

Hi!

Hey.

Hi!

Hello.
Hey, baby.

Mwah.

- How are you?
- Good, good, good.

- Hey.
- So...

How's it going, man?
Nice to meet you.

Yeah. Good to meet
you, too.

No. Have a hug.
Hug it out.

Hug it out.

Hey, dude.

A bit weird.

Good to meet you.

- Yeah. Welcome.
- Yeah. Thanks.

OK.
Shall we go in?

Yeah.

Bleah.

Aw.
You guys look cute together.

Is that weird?

You're weird.

I know I'm weird.

Right.

Hmm.

Yeah.
Should we...?

Well, now, guys...
have coffee or...?

Let's make some tea.

Yes, yes.
OK, put your bag down, babe.

Tea, tea.
I'll put the kettle on.

Make some tea.
Put the kettle on.

Are you OK?

Yes.

OK.

You're both directors.

Did you feel threatened by that?

I think our genres are, like,
you're more fiction, eh?

Yeah.

And theater.
And theater.

I don't do any theater.

And you make
documentaries, right?

Mm-hmm.

So, I mean, is that
really directing?

Quick.
Film my feet!

Filmmaking is so much
energy and effort, right?

Mm.

I guess the documentaries
I make have me-

- in it because then I care
enough to work my ass off.

You know?

Because you care so
much about yourself, babe.

You think that by having yourself
in them, it makes you care more...

Yeah, it's the only thing
that makes him care.

Fuck. That sounds
really bad. OK.

Rather than the subjects.

Can I rephrase my answer?

I wouldn't, Ollie.
I wouldn't.

I don't think it's anything
to be ashamed of.

It's understanding myself better-

- and sharing those lessons
and then others... people can...

- Exactly.
- It makes sense.

You just worded it really badly.

We want to show the world
through our own experiences-

- what vulnerability and love
and intimacy can be like,

- but you're always
behind the camera,

- so you're kind of taking away that
vulnerability because you are...

Hiding behind it.

Because you're hiding
behind the camera.

Behind my shield.

Yeah.

That's true.

And in a way, run away from
what's really happening-

- by putting a camera in front of it.

You like it?

It's very cinematic.

Cinematic?

Are we doing a cheers?

Cheers.
Cheers.

Yum.
Thanks for that, Tom.

You're actually gonna...
oh, my God.

Do you want to feel my ring?

There you go.
Are you having a good time?

Yes.

Are you actually
having a good time?

Let's just take this dance.

Ollie, you got to dance.

Come and dance.
Come on.

He hates dancing.

Ollie!

You can dance, Ollie.

I'll stop,
then you ask me to dance.

That's great.

What time is it?

How's midnight?

Ollie: It's 13 past midnight.

It's 13 and 47 seconds past 12:00.

- All right.
- Time to go.

Ohh. Thanks.
I can never find the holes.

I'm really good at finding them.

Can you hold the camera?

You want me to watch
you put on your jacket?

No.

Let me. Let me.
Come here. Come here.

No, no. That's all right.
Come on.

Come on, Ollie.

Come on. No, no.
Do it. Go with it, Ollie.

Thanks, babe.

- Yeah.
- Aw.

Who you calling babe, me or him?

- Both.
- Both! Ha ha!

Bye-o.

OK. Oof.

All right.

So this is Tom's room.

Um, last night we came home, and I
made out with Tom, which Zoe loved.

It was great.

And then I sucked him off,
he sucked me off.

And we started to fuck.

And I asked him
to pull out again,

- and I peeled off... I peeled
the condom off his cock.

It was like the last little bit of
control I had over their relationship.

And... because I asked
them to use a condom-

- whenever they had sex,
and they have.

And I just wanted to be
the one that peels it off-

- and allow them to feel each
other properly, for the first time.

And then this morning I woke up,

- and they were already
having sex next to me,

- and now are having
a shower together.

I don't like having
showers with someone.

I don't want to be in a
shower with someone else.

I think it's inefficient.

You just...
you don't get enough water,

- and half the time, you get cold.

It's not really the
place to do small talk.

I'm there to wash
myself and get clean.

In, out.

Um, yeah, I prefer to
have a shower by myself,

- so I'll just wait till they're done.

And then I'll have a shower,
and then we'll get dressed,

- and we'll have breakfast.

Yeah.
It was a great night.

Whoo-hoo.

Zoe: OK.

You all right?

OK, so if you sit over
there, I was thinking.

This is for a wide shot.

Down there?

Yeah, just down there.

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

I'm OK.

How are you?

Terrible.

What are you doing tonight?

Nothing.

What are you doing tomorrow?

What's about to happen?

I think we should break up.

What?

We were perfect.

I was perfect for you.

You were always pretending?

Babe, I wasn't pretending.

I feel in love with you,
and I loved you,

- and I've been loving you
for the last 3 1/2 years.

And that stopped?

Yeah, I think it stopped.

When?

When I fell in love
with someone else.

Oh, fuck.

Ohh, fuck.

Even though we
promised ourselves-

- to be the most important
thing to each other...

...the heart wants
what it wants, and...

...there's just nothing I could do.

Because right now I feel like
I've been abandoned.

I was just...

...it was almost a slam
in my face last night,

- and I had no reason...
no way to talk about it.

And I don't even know
what's happening.

I made the mistake
of going on Facebook...

...and checking her
relationship status.

And it's not listed as
engaged to me anymore.

And the last three weeks, I lost about,
like, 8 kg, not cause I wanted to,

- but 'cause my appetite's gone.

I said good-bye to
Siobhan last night.

I don't know in what
capacity I'll see her again.

Um, yeah.

I just started your
commitment to this.

- I think we...
- Need to?

...need to connect
a whole lot more.

Because this is all just
skimming the surface.

You think it's worth it to
put up with this planning-

- and me wanting more of you?

You can understand
where I'm coming from...

...right?

Yes.

I lost Zoe, I lost Siobhan.

I couldn't lose the film as well.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- I'm Ollie.
- Hi.

Um, right.
Shall we start with the board?

Hi. My name is Georgia Pringle,
and I'm with Gail Cowan Management.

I am Alice May Connolly.

These are my feet.

My name is Romy Hooper.

- Erin Howell, no agent.
- I'm Sheena.

Um, this is my piece of paper.

I'm with Auckland Actors.

Yeah.
And... let's do a run-through,

- and then I might zoom
in on certain sections.

OK.

We'll see how it goes.

What's about to happen?

I think we should break up.

I think... Ollie, yeah.

I think we should
call off the wedding.

What?

When you love someone, you
think you'll love them forever,

- but you really need to,
like, maintain the thing.

You're always pretending.

Babe, I wasn't pretending.

I fell in love with you...

And I loved you,
and I've loved you...

...for 3 1/2 years.

And that stopped?

- I think it stopped.
- When?

When I fell in love
with someone else.

When I fell in love
with someone else.

When I fell in love
with someone else.

When I fell in love
with someone else.

Oh, fuck.
That's sad, Ollie.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

Are you...?

No, genuinely fine.

That was good.

It started off quite aggressive
and defensive, which is fine later,

- but it was already
there at the start.

Ah, so was it?
OK.

And after "I'm perfect for you,"

- give it a solid pause.

So then straight into another one?

Yup.

The story of this film
started almost 5 years ago.

My fiancee and I decided to
make a documentary about us,

- exploring alternatives to monogamy.

Our documentary became my film when
she left me for the new guy... Tom.

3 years later,
with permission from my ex...

...I cast an actress, Natalie,
to finish the film with.

5 part, 3A, take one.

100, take 3.

Mark 2 for the GoPro,
and the handheld.

Natalie also became the co-writer.

Together we watched the
original documentary footage,

- the parts we could use
and what we would recreate.

Let's look back to what we had
before we started this madness.

We were perfect.

It was perfect for you.

Oh, fuck.

Good night...

It was good to watch my man
be virile with another woman.

Like, rawr.

Whirr?
What are you?

- Vi... viral?
- Virile.

Virile.

Yeah.
Virile.

What's that mean?

With male potency.

Cool.
That should be my middle name.

That should be my middle name.

What are you doing, you idiot?

So the camera can pick it up.

Well, it's...
it's more cinematic.

You're thinking more about how
it looks than about how it feels.

My leg was adumbo.

Akimbo.

Akimbo.

It's kind of weird.

I feel like a creepy old man
that sort of recreates his old life.

Yeah. Cut. Fuck.

You got that.
You got what you wanted.

Yeah, it's great.

It didn't feel authentic.

What didn't feel authentic?

That's not how it happened.

It's great, Ollie.

You don't need
another take, Ollie.

You guys are just full of shit.

Siobhan is real.

My mother is real.

Bowie and Wilbur, real.

And this is the
voice of my real ex.

Pretend like I just said something-

- that's kind of a bit shocking,
and surprising.

No, don't act.
Ohh, you're the worst.

While she has moved
on from the project,

- she is happy for me to use
some of our recordings.

What if your man diminishes in his
shine, becomes grubby, stinky, lazy,

- mooches over...

What do you mean, "becomes"?

Yeah, let's cut that out.

Pull my sleeve back.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

When did you get this?

As soon as she broke up with me.

It better not be a dick.

Why?

It's to remind me of the lessons
learned in the last two weeks.

That's good.

Yeah, I was thinking I'm gonna get
a square, and a triangle on this one.

I got the tattoo to remember
my flaws and become better,

- that I can't have my
cake and eat it, too.

But in the years following, emotions
rewrote the story in my head.

I recast myself as the
victim over and over again.

But rewatching what
actually happened,

- turns out I forgot the
worst version of me.

You are in competition
with my career.

What do you mean?

Like, my career is as
important to me as you are.

Well, what if we don't have
enough money to have a wedding?

Then we postpone our wedding.

It's my fucking industry.

I can only have so much certainty.

She is a nymphomaniac.
She needs it a lot.

Ow.

You are a complete asshole.

No wonder she left you.

The truth is I neglected
her pain in all of this.

I wouldn't stop filming, even
as our relationship fell apart-

- because It made for a
good story of me falling.

OK, good.

Oh, that was good.

OK, so the fall was quite good,

- but then the deliberate sticking out of
the leg afterwards was very manufactured.

OK, the fall was good.

Now you need to work on
your acting afterwards.

If I'm honest, I was never right for
an open relationship, or polyamory.

Looking back, maybe her and I just
weren't as good a match as I remembered.

They say an optimist is only ever
two people away from a threesome.

That's all bullshit.
A bunch of scheisse.

I think next time,
I'll just have cake.