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0
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,240
- Oh, yeah.
- A job well done, wouldn't you say?
1
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,719
Look at that!
2
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,438
You can't argue with 90 grand, can you?
3
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,795
But I do think
Stacie's a little bit frustrated.
4
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,031
- I did not fancy him.
- Yeah, right.
5
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,553
He was a mark.
6
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:12,677
- You did say he was cute.
- "Very cute," as I recall.
7
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,990
Yeah. Cute for a record collector.
8
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,117
Shouldn't knock record collectors, Stacie.
They have very deep pockets.
9
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,192
I'm not knocking him.
I just didn't fancy him.
10
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,192
- All right. Don't go on about it, Stace.
- I'm not.
11
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,430
You know,
I've a mind to get into record collecting.
12
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,555
Really?
13
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,518
Yeah, you get 5 grand a shot
for some Beatles albums.
14
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,273
- Charming young gentlemen.
- Have you met them, Albert?
15
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,591
Oh, yes, yes. I got all their autographs.
16
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,955
Really? They must be worth a fortune,
ain't they?
17
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,191
Yes. And every time I sell them,
they're worth even more.
18
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:43,829
Okay.
19
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:44,955
Yeah.
20
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,235
Stacie?
21
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,479
So, who's the bird then?
22
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,996
Emily Shaw.
She and Stacie grew up together.
23
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,594
- What, the one with the charity?
- Yeah.
24
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,193
Oh, right.
25
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,840
So what happened to her? Do we know?
26
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,510
You said the Weekend World
had printed an apology.
27
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,876
A paragraph on page nine.
Who's gonna read that?
28
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,872
Not after a front-page banner
saying she defrauded the charity
29
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,111
and stole from the children
she's been helping for years.
30
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,957
Will she recover?
31
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,918
I don't know. She's still unconscious.
32
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,913
If she doesn't,
it'll be the Weekend World's fault.
33
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,759
I'm gonna get those bastards.
34
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,274
- Stacie, I know you're upset.
- No, I mean it, Mickey.
35
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,079
If I was a man,
I would beat the crap out of them.
36
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,039
If I was a lawyer, I'd sue them.
But I'm neither.
37
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,829
I'm a grifter, so I'll use that.
38
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,990
Okay. We'll find a way.
39
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,388
Tabloids are powerful, Mickey.
They can destroy people.
40
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,118
I don't see
why you should all take that risk.
41
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,239
No, no, no, Stacie.
Come on, we will all find a way.
42
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,519
Thanks, Mickey.
43
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,031
Gentlemen.
44
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,712
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
45
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,633
We have a new mark.
46
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,997
The Weekend World
ran a sensational story,
47
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:13,719
accusing Emily Shaw of embezzling funds
from her own charity, Educate Africa.
48
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,595
Emily had withdrawn
a substantial cash sum,
49
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,830
but it was to pay for the building
of a new school.
50
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,071
Tribal leaders in the Sudan
don't take credit cards.
51
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,879
When this was pointed out to the World,
they printed a retraction.
52
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,632
A paragraph on page nine.
53
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,116
The editor, Francis Owen.
54
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:36,953
It was Owen and this man, Timothy Millen,
who ran the story on Emily.
55
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,393
- Danny?
- Yeah, I went to a couple of journo bars.
56
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,909
The word is that Owen gives "scum bag"
a whole new meaning.
57
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,310
Millen's just a sniveling creep,
but he is ambitious.
58
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:54,235
So Millen's probably easier to target,
and we can use him to get to Owen.
59
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:55,875
Ash?
60
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,996
Yeah, well, research has been difficult.
61
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,197
The one thing these people don't seem
to write about is themselves.
62
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:07,913
However, most of them have huge egos,
so we used the Who's Who of journalists.
63
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,437
- I didn't know there was one.
- There isn't, yet.
64
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,518
What?
65
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:34,679
I don't care if you have to wait there
all week, you sit on that doorstep.
66
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,432
Listen, when no one's looking,
67
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,399
try scraping a key
down the side of his flash convertible.
68
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:44,837
That should get a bloody reaction
out of him.
69
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,037
Look, I'll make it simple.
70
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,430
You get me a quote, or find a new job.
71
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,953
Tosser.
72
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,429
I see you got one of those
questionnaires as well, boss.
73
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:56,953
They sent you one?
74
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,600
Must have been a piece I did
about Camilla's cellulite.
75
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,752
- Well, what do you want?
- Got a bit of bad news, chief.
76
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:06,515
That Emily Shaw bird we did a story on
just jumped off a bridge.
77
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,309
- Looks like attempted suicide.
- You prat, Millen. Bad news?
78
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,799
That's the best news I've had all week.
79
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,791
You've lost me, chief.
We've only just run the apology.
80
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:17,714
Well, that's just it, you muppet.
If we run the attempted suicide,
81
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,837
it implies that we were telling the truth
all along.
82
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,150
- Yeah, but we weren't.
- Who cares?
83
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:28,597
- Innocent people don't commit suicide.
- They do if they're depressed.
84
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,514
You've been watching too many episodes
of Trisha, mate.
85
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,718
Get out of here and write it up.
Send her some flowers to sweeten her up.
86
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,872
- Show her we care.
- All right.
87
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,909
Hey, heavy on the suggestion,
the insinuation.
88
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,149
Okay.
89
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:50,235
What if... What if she dies?
90
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,834
Then she can't answer back, can she?
91
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,752
"Reason for choosing
journalism as a career.
92
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,513
"Quest for the truth. To fight injustice."
93
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,079
Oh, please!
94
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,879
And I got a favorite restaurant,
wife's name, children.
95
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,837
Oh, here we are.
96
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:14,277
Story you'd most like to break.
"Edward declares he's gay.
97
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,511
"Marriage to Sophie is a sham."
98
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,953
What about Millen?
99
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,470
"Prince William in coke-fuelled orgy
with Kate Moss."
100
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,713
What nice men.
101
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,155
Bit of an obsession with the royal family,
don't you think?
102
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,276
Well, I ain't nicking
the crown jewels again.
103
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,995
What?
104
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:38,598
Francis Owen lists favorite food as "Martin
Townsend's heart grilled on toast."
105
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,638
Who's Martin Townsend?
106
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,952
He's the editor of the Sunday Express.
They're locked in a circulation battle.
107
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,519
Hate each others' guts.
108
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:51,078
What we need to do is come up with
the royal scoop of the century.
109
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,119
- What about Ash and Camilla?
- Why me?
110
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,272
Well, I ain't being funny, mate.
She's more your age than mine.
111
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,555
I don't believe it, Danny's getting choosy.
112
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,918
Don't get me wrong, love.
I love the older bird, much more grateful,
113
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:09,152
know their way around the sack,
but Ash would be perfect with it.
114
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,311
Now hold up, hold up, hold up.
There was a story my mum told me.
115
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,153
One of those, sort of,
royal urban legends, you know.
116
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:22,239
Now, I don't know if we could
make it work, but this legend has it
117
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:28,190
that the Queen Mum, right, God bless her,
wasn't the Queen Mum.
118
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,876
Hello. Yeah, Regal Resemblance?
119
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,951
Yeah.
How are you for young Queen Mums?
120
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,031
What a load of bollocks.
121
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,430
- Lovely mate. Got anything for me?
- Yep. There you go.
122
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,119
Nice one, Cyril.
123
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,276
- You on the job?
- Yeah, you?
124
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:50,558
- Yeah, Weekend World.
- Wow, I'd love to be in a national.
125
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,513
Who you with then?
126
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,433
Me? I've been at the Reading Courier
five or so years now.
127
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,512
Local news, Mayor's new
parking initiative, that sort of thing.
128
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,592
- Hold the front page, eh?
- Exactly.
129
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:06,108
- I'm Chris Carey.
- Tim Millen.
130
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,315
What? Sorry.
131
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,558
You're the Tim Millen?
132
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,753
What, you heard of me?
133
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,229
Heard of you? You're my bloody hero.
134
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,149
No, really.
135
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,758
"Prince Harry Dressed as a Hooker."
"Sophie Wessex, Fat or Pregnant?"
136
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,513
"Posh Finds Becks in the Loos."
137
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,511
Sure. You know your stuff.
138
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,592
Believe me, Tim,
it's time I moved up to the top table.
139
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,791
- What do you reckon on this?
- It's not a writ, is it?
140
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,519
No, no, no.
Research. Fast food restaurants.
141
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,512
What do you reckon they do
with all that fat they cook the food in?
142
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,996
Surprise me.
143
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,878
They dump it
in London's Victorian sewers.
144
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:58,319
All that grease getting clogged up
in the sewers in great disgusting lumps.
145
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,756
It's like a brilliant metaphor
for the arteries of the city
146
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,558
being clogged by all that fat.
147
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,996
How's about this for a metaphor?
Your story is about as much use
148
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,629
as a one-legged man
at an arse-kicking competition.
149
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,639
That's a simile.
150
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,754
- You're leaving?
- Places to be, matey.
151
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:23,119
Tim, Tim. Tim,
there is something else I'm working on.
152
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,239
It's... It's sensational.
I haven't quite nailed all the facts yet.
153
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:31,074
- But I think it's worth listening to.
- Okay.
154
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,630
You've got five seconds to interest me.
One. Two.
155
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,234
- Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon.
- Hey?
156
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,039
- The Queen Mum.
- Yeah, I know who she is, you muppet.
157
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,553
What about her?
158
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,357
I was doing some research in a hospice,
159
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,271
residents, you know,
complaining of ill-treatment.
160
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,113
- Not interested.
- No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
161
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:53,830
One of the old dears grabbed me.
She'd been a maid at Buckingham Palace.
162
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:57,595
She had some incredible gossip
about the Queen Mum during the war.
163
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:58,829
Well, let's hear it.
164
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,708
- Mr. Carey?
- Oh, Murphy. This is Tim Millen.
165
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,916
The Tim Millen from the Weekend World.
166
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,629
- Hello, how do you do?
- Mr. Millen.
167
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,679
Chris, I hope you haven't been
discussing our investigation?
168
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,274
You're not a journalist as well,
are you, Murphy?
169
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,430
- No, I'm not.
- I didn't think so.
170
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:20,638
You don't look like the bunch of slappers
we've got at the World.
171
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,551
Chris, I've made some real progress
with the case.
172
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:26,952
Now it's your call, but maybe we could
go somewhere else and discuss it?
173
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,990
Yeah, okay. Let's head over to Eddie's Bar.
174
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,277
She's right. Better not say anything
till I can stand all the facts up.
175
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:38,478
Still great to meet you, Tim, and big fan.
176
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,393
See you again. Read you again, all right.
177
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,435
What are those hotels called?
Yeah, travel cabins.
178
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,512
Give them a load of free papers
to hand out to guests.
179
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,194
We got to get our circulation figures up.
180
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,034
Gemma, when I'm being shafted week in,
week out by the Express,
181
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,838
I take it personally.
182
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,717
Where the hell have you been?
183
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,674
Chief, I've been...
184
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,230
I've been researching this feature
on fast food restaurants
185
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,630
and their impact on
the London sewage system.
186
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,871
The fat that's getting flushed down there
is actually congealing.
187
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,430
It's almost as if the arteries of London
are getting blocked up.
188
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,796
It's a very powerful simile.
I'm very excited about it.
189
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,913
That's it? That's what you been
working on? "Crap in the sewers shocker."
190
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,551
Tim, you are meant to be my top reporter.
I need a front page.
191
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,438
Get out there.
Get me a great bloody story!
192
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,714
Will do, sorry.
193
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,750
- Get me a coffee.
- You what?
194
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,035
I read your Robbie piece.
It's cack, do it again!
195
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,271
- What do you mean, "It's cack"?
- Just do it again!
196
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:45,712
- Hello, mate. The Blitz exhibition, please.
- Yeah.
197
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,873
... sequel to the big blitz.
198
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,871
Visitors, their majestiesthe King and Queen,
199
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,997
to districts in East London,which suffered very severely.
200
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,152
The royal visitors were whole-heartedlywelcomed everywhere they went.
201
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,390
And everywhere they went,their majesties saw
202
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,710
and admired the spirit of the people.
203
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,428
How do we look?
204
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:22,433
That'll do fine.
Now, let's get you in the frame, yeah?
205
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:28,152
Okay, rolling. Here she comes,
here she comes, here she comes.
206
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,435
She's there. She's in front of you, there.
Curtsy.
207
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,069
Lovely, right, and she's moving back
along down the line.
208
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:47,110
Yeah, hello, mate.
Listen, can you transfer DVD to 16 mil?
209
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,279
Stick them on the tab.
210
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,033
I've just remembered your tab.
You owe me 50 quid.
211
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,714
Danny owes you 50, yeah. I'm in character.
Chris Carey. Journalist?
212
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,028
You said you wouldn't forget. Remember?
213
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,109
- I haven't.
- Good.
214
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,235
I think.
215
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,789
- Yes, mate. What can I get you?
- Vodka and coke, please.
216
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,677
- Who's the bird?
- Eh?
217
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,070
Over there in the corner,
I'm sure I know her from somewhere.
218
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,550
That's Diane Murphy.
She's a private investigator, I think.
219
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,033
That's it.
220
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,752
Maybe that bloke with her is her client,
221
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,956
and his missus
is playing away from home.
222
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,033
Maybe. I think I'll go and say hello. Ta.
223
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,993
Good afternoon.
224
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,357
Tim, what are you doing here?
225
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,590
Don't tell me, it's a happy coincidence.
226
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,194
Well, thing is, you got me going, mate.
227
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,636
If you think you've got something on
the royals, I might be able to help you.
228
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,676
What have you told him, Chris?
229
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,796
Nothing, really.
230
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,474
Oh, there she is, the Queen Mum.
231
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:13,430
- God bless her.
- Lf you don't mind.
232
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:19,156
So what's your angle? It's got to be good
if it's about the Queen Mum.
233
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,389
'Cause here's a little tip for ya,
234
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,553
on the big papers we tend to write about
the royals who are still alive.
235
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,755
Diana?
236
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,716
She's a... She's a special case.
237
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,717
Harold Felgate.
238
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,559
This is a special case.
239
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:43,031
Seriously, mate, if you decide to flog
your story to one of your provincial rags,
240
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:47,671
no one's gonna take a blind bit of notice.
You'll still be a nobody, Chris.
241
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,995
If you wanna make a splash
with a royal story,
242
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,674
you've got to break it with a national.
243
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,035
I think we're gonna be fine
on our own, Chris.
244
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:59,192
Look, no offense,
but you two are amateur hour.
245
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,192
I know more about the royal family
than you two ever will. You need me.
246
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,352
Really? Know it all, do you, Tim?
247
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,113
Lot more than you do, matey,
that's for sure.
248
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,395
Well, let me ask you this.
249
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,516
- Chris.
- No, no.
250
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,471
Where's the Queen Mother buried?
251
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,990
Well, that's a toughie.
St. George's Chapel, Windsor Castle.
252
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,519
Really? You reckon? Because her son
says something very different.
253
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,717
Her son? She never had a son.
254
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,473
Please, Chris.
I think we need to leave now.
255
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,551
Yeah. I'll see you, Tim.
256
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,150
Hi, it's me. Get me a cab
to the Homage Hotel, pronto!
257
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,638
Weekend World, mate.
258
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,877
- Was Millen outside?
- Yeah, he was.
259
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,872
I need a couple of hours.
Emily's conscious.
260
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,234
That's good news.
261
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,710
Well, we'll just sit tight here. I'm sure
it won't be long before Millen bites.
262
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,758
See ya later, babe.
263
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,438
- Hello.
- Hi, Stacie.
264
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,993
How are you feeling?
We've been so worried about you.
265
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:09,111
I was an idiot to let it get to me.
I wasn't thinking straight.
266
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,791
But you're all right now?
267
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,710
And that's the main thing.
268
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:22,072
Wow. It's like a florist's in here.
Who bought you those carnations?
269
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,750
Would you believe it?
That monstrosity is from the World.
270
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,353
You're joking.
271
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,271
There's a get well card, too.
272
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,872
They want an interview?
273
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,996
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
274
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,954
How can people do things like that?
275
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,868
- They're unbelievable.
- To make things up with no foundation?
276
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:48,995
Well,
277
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,757
maybe those bastards
will get what's coming to them.
278
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:07,829
Nothing.
279
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,319
Where's your story, Millen?
280
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,597
Chief. Something cooking, got a big lead.
281
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,513
The Queen Mother,
possible love child angle.
282
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,068
- You what?
- Could be a biggie.
283
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,515
Does the name Harold Felgate
mean anything to you?
284
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,068
- No.
- Well, I'm piecing it all together now.
285
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,516
So, I'll bring you something
as soon as it's all in place.
286
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,318
This better lead to something, Millen.
287
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:33,838
I want a story on my desk today,
or you might find yourself writing obits.
288
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,639
Hello.
289
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,951
Tony, how's life below stairs, mate?
290
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,510
- You got anything for me?
- Nothing at the moment, Tim.
291
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,192
The shutters have come down big time
292
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,238
since you ran that story
about Charles flogging off the silver.
293
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,436
Yeah, that was a cracker, wasn't it?
294
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,513
Listen, Queen Mother. War years.
295
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,639
Any rumors I should know about?
Secret trysts?
296
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,269
Could be nothing, but I keep hearing
the name Harold Felgate.
297
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,920
Felgate?
No, I haven't heard that name round here.
298
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,031
Listen, Tim. I've got to go.
299
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,674
Chris.
300
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,154
- Tim.
- You all right?
301
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,471
Yeah. So what are you doing here?
302
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,632
How would you like a job
on the Weekend World?
303
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,353
- And I get my own desk?
- Right next to mine.
304
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,557
What about money?
I'm on 20K at the Courier.
305
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,756
- We'll double it.
- Are you serious?
306
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,236
You let me help you with this story, Chris,
and everything will be negotiated
307
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,357
in good faith, down the line.
What do you say?
308
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,199
Who's that?
309
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,469
It's the young Queen Mum.
310
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:30,431
No, that's a lady called Cynthia Felgate.
311
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,149
You're winding me up.
312
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,232
No, no, no. I told you before.
The old dear at the hospice,
313
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:43,110
she told me the Queen Mum died of TB,
in '41.
314
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,510
If it got out, it would have been
disastrous for British morale.
315
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:51,037
I mean Hitler, Hitler described her as
"the most dangerous woman in Europe."
316
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,759
- She's the spitting image.
- Exactly. That's the point.
317
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:58,470
A commoner was found in the East End
who looked exactly like the Queen Mum.
318
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:03,236
This woman Cynthia Felgate was put
in her place. That's the story.
319
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,834
I followed it up, journalist's instinct, yeah?
320
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,674
- I deal in facts, not instinct.
- Yeah, well, me too.
321
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,395
That's why, out of my own pocket,
I hired Diane Murphy
322
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:17,075
to do a bit of digging around,
check the old girl's story out.
323
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,149
And?
324
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,636
She found Cynthia Felgate's son.
325
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,395
The geezer you've got
in the room upstairs?
326
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,040
- How do you know that?
- I've got my sources.
327
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,072
So what's the plan?
328
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,793
He's the only living relative.
329
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:42,192
He's the key
to blowing this whole thing wide open.
330
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:47,434
I wanna meet him. I want to meet the son.
That's the deal. Take it or leave it.
331
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:54,793
I thought you were an independent.
332
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,519
No, no, no. I'm at the Weekend World now.
333
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,433
Tim and I are covering the story together.
That's not a problem, is it?
334
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:01,589
Well, it might be.
335
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,035
My client still has the right to take
this story to the highest bidder.
336
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,554
- And who are you?
- Bob Sawgreen.
337
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,438
Managing Director of
Sawgreen Management, New York City.
338
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:10,669
You a lawyer?
339
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:15,072
No, I'm Mr. Felgate's publicist.
And as such, I decide who he talks to.
340
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,311
And since we haven't been paid a dime
to cover our expenses,
341
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,994
I may well advise my client to say nothing.
342
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:22,997
Hang on, Bob.
343
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,548
Your client would still be Joe Shmoe
from Poughkeepsie
344
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:26,789
if I had not dug this story...
345
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,154
Okay, let's just all chill out, shall we?
346
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,356
I'm on board now, Mr. Felgate,
and I can tell you
347
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,035
that my editor, Francis Owen,
will make you a very attractive offer.
348
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:37,351
Of that you have my word, okay?
349
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,074
You're twisting my nuts.
350
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,357
- Is that good?
- I don't think so.
351
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,351
You're telling me the Queen Mother
352
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,637
is actually an imposter
called Cynthia Felgate?
353
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,073
Exactly, chief.
354
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:54,912
This man is her son.
355
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,513
Harry?
356
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,115
Mr. Carey's call couldn't have come
at a better time for me. You see,
357
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,556
I've been living... I am living
in very reduced circumstances.
358
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:09,112
Gambling debts and so on, and after
the call I went right to Mr. Sawgreen here.
359
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,429
I advanced my client some funds,
paid some bills, things like that.
360
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:18,958
And we got some things out of storage,
which is where we found this.
361
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,789
What's that?
362
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,916
My client received this anonymously
through the mail
363
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,877
about, oh, a few years ago.
364
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,518
And if you see, chief,
365
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:32,709
it's actually postmarked February 2002,
a month before the Queen Mum died.
366
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:37,319
So, Cynthia decided, on her deathbed,
367
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,949
to reach out to her long lost son?
368
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,236
- What you got in there?
- Proof.
369
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:50,270
We have Cynthia Felgate's
birth certificate,
370
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,311
pictures of her and Harold here
and herself.
371
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:56,958
Oh, and this.
372
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,951
Look, as you can see,
the resemblance is uncanny.
373
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:05,715
Cynthia was actually a few years younger
than the Queen,
374
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:10,555
and that's why they say
the Queen Mum lived so long, apparently.
375
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,958
I was told that my mother was killed
in the London bombing,
376
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,510
and that I was evacuated
to the US as an orphan.
377
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,791
- Do you mind if I hold on to these?
- Yeah, I don't see why not.
378
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:21,869
And this?
379
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,350
This is an old piece of film,
but I don't have any machine to run it on.
380
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,556
I'm sure we can sort that out for you.
381
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:33,476
Look, this is an interesting yarn,
but none of this amounts to proof.
382
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,790
Well, if you don't want it,
I'm sure another paper will.
383
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,711
Don't play hardball with me.
384
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,754
Even the Sport wouldn't run with this.
385
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,071
And they think that Elvis is living
on the moon.
386
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:50,109
If you want me to go to print with this,
I'll need something concrete.
387
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,909
Okay. Let's say...
Let's say we get you that.
388
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,275
What would a story like this be worth?
389
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,472
If I got all the rights?
390
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,953
Maybe quarter of a million.
391
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,235
Is that... Is that dollars or sterling?
392
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:17,589
Sterling.
393
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,270
We've got the birth certificate, chief.
394
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:26,195
She was born, she existed. Must be
a paper trail of documents somewhere.
395
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,920
Public records, library cards, all that crap.
396
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,199
We can piece her life together, chief.
397
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,349
This has got to be worth a punt.
398
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,395
You got till Saturday.
399
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,517
If it checks out, you got the front page.
400
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,589
Yes!
401
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,990
Before we get any further,
is anyone else worried?
402
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,393
- Problem, Danny?
- Yeah.
403
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,313
This is a risky con, Mick. It's a newspaper.
404
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:07,552
If this blows up, all of us,
faces in the tabloids. Knackered.
405
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:13,430
- Do you all want to pull out?
- No, no, no. We agreed. We can do this.
406
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:14,839
Can't we, Danny?
407
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:18,953
It's Millen.
408
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:26,596
Chris Carey. Hi, Tim. Yeah, lovely.
409
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,352
Yeah, I'll get there. Bye.
410
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,830
He wants to meet at Eddie's in an hour.
He's obviously buying it.
411
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:38,072
Maybe. But Owen isn't.
We've still got a long way to go.
412
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,073
All right, let's do it.
413
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,355
- Okay, Ash, you set up?
- Yeah, mate.
414
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,955
Good. Then I will meet you two
at Eddie's Bar in an hour.
415
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,958
Got the time, mate?
416
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,116
Michael Stone?
417
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,919
I work for Her Majesty's Government.
418
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,356
We've been monitoring
Francis Owen for some time.
419
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,829
The libelous stories
his paper continues to print
420
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,310
about the royal family
have become a matter of concern.
421
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,794
So why am I here?
422
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,793
Normally, we wouldn't bother ourselves
with your petty criminal activities.
423
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,632
But we are concerned about the lies
424
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,029
you're constructing
about the late Queen Mother.
425
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,951
You're telling me that the Queen Mother
426
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,350
was actually an impostercalled Cynthia Felgate?
427
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,873
This man is her son.
428
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,996
Be under no illusions.
429
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,395
Your lives won't be worth living
if you proceed.
430
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:58,749
Understand?
431
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:09,078
- Yes?
- Hello. Seen any of these?
432
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,439
Yeah, only next door
was riddled with them.
433
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:12,999
Can you clear out for a couple of hours?
434
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,753
- You got a mobile I can get you on?
- Yeah.
435
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,353
Yeah, well, I'll bell you
when we're through, all right?
436
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,158
You'd better come in a minute.
437
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:26,833
Is this the Harold Felgate film?
438
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,629
Yes, chief, I've put the clip on the
hard drive. I'll start trying to clean it up.
439
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,631
It's not just a case of
Photoshopping something.
440
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,950
The images are quite badly down-graded.
441
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,110
Get what you can off of it.
442
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:39,873
Where's Sawgreen?
443
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:44,078
- To be honest, I don't know.
- We should start without him.
444
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,438
Okay. Let's. I'll put that there.
445
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,872
So, questions.
446
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:56,112
The house where your mum lived,
do you remember where it was?
447
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,318
I'm trying to think.
448
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:04,433
- It was in the East End, yeah.
- East End.
449
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,229
And the number was something...
20, I think.
450
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,676
I've lived in so many houses
over so many years, it's just...
451
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,510
- Sorry, I...
- Hi. Where were you? We were worried.
452
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,193
So many streets. It's very confusing.
I got lost.
453
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,431
Invest in an A-Z mate. We ain't got time
for you to take the scenic route.
454
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,439
Okay. So let's just focus on this place.
455
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,833
The East End.
Anything else you remember?
456
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,509
Yes, there was a row of terraced houses.
457
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:38,914
Terraced?
458
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,437
Terraced houses? Well, that narrows
it down to about 4,000 streets.
459
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,355
- Diane, thanks for coming.
- Mr. Millen.
460
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,591
New arrangement in place, darling.
I'm on the team.
461
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,877
So now there's a pro running things,
you can take a backseat.
462
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,029
Hang on a minute, Millen.
463
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,588
You're firing me?
I haven't even been paid yet.
464
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,830
You're not fired.
Little bit out of order that, Tim.
465
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,239
No, it's not quite like that.
466
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,117
I just thought we'd get a better deal
at the World.
467
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,794
Calm down, love.
What is it? Time of the month?
468
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,199
Excuse me?
469
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,157
Oh, blimey. She's getting upset.
That's no good.
470
00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:13,277
The last bird I upset
ended up throwing herself in the Thames.
471
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,509
I'm not joking.
472
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,879
I don't like men like you, Millen.
You're scum and you ruin peoples' lives.
473
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,953
You write whatever you want, without
any thought for the people you hurt.
474
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,555
We sell two million copies,
week in, week out.
475
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,873
If there wasn't a market for it,
I wouldn't have a job.
476
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:45,512
And I respect that.
477
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,268
Just hope you can respect my work
in return.
478
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,316
Of course. I mean,
how would anyone ever get divorced
479
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,994
without people like you
sniffing round hotel rooms for them?
480
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,515
I've got that address that you wanted,
by the way.
481
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,354
- What address?
- The Felgate house.
482
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,034
Cynthia's name is on the deeds
of a house in the East End.
483
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,111
- Number 23. Paradise Street.
- Yeah!
484
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,952
- E2.
- That's it!
485
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,919
I'm impressed.
486
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,354
This is as good as it's going to get, boss.
487
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,552
- That's the Queen Mum in the East End.
- Hold it there.
488
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,116
That's Felgate all right.
There's the birth mark.
489
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,316
Can you move in any closer?
490
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,035
- Can you get me some stills of this?
- No problem.
491
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,628
Yeah, it's all coming back to me now.
492
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,355
There weren't any cars here of course.
493
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,839
We used to play football for hours
here in the road.
494
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,196
Anybody in? Hello?
495
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,350
You're wasting your time.
496
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:57,991
The yuppies are on holiday, again.
Bloody property developers.
497
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,674
There'll be no locals left before long.
498
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,719
Good afternoon. Can I just ask you,
have you lived here long?
499
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,233
All me life, son.
500
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,673
Can we ask you some questions?
501
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,479
If you're from the Council,
the dog's gone back to the kennel.
502
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,120
We're not from the council, mate.
We're from the Weekend World.
503
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,714
You from the Revenue, ain't you, eh?
504
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,997
No, no, he's just told you,
we're from the Weekend World.
505
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,640
I read the Mirror.
506
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:25,599
- Can you read this?
- I'll put the kettle on.
507
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:27,679
Come on.
508
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:41,832
I was only eight then, but I remember
the Felgates, Harry and Cynthia.
509
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,910
Oh, she was lovely, she was, yeah.
510
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:50,438
We used to call her Queenie,
on account of her resemblance to...
511
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,112
How well did you know them?
512
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,953
Well, I used to play with Harry, yeah.
513
00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:00,034
But then one day they was...
They was just gone.
514
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,999
- What happened to Cynthia?
- Well, I... I don't know, son.
515
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,312
We were told she died, in the Blitz.
516
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:10,753
Yeah, maybe, maybe.
517
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:15,994
There was... There was many killed,
you know, night after night there.
518
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,594
Your name is Sean, isn't it?
519
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,559
How do you know?
520
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,758
Harry?
521
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:41,314
Oh, well, would you believe it?
Harry Felgate, yeah.
522
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,630
You're all grown up and American.
523
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,156
Here, here, you haven't still got
that bag of marbles I lent you, have you?
524
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:50,515
No. I traded them for a skyscraper
in New York.
525
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,239
How about you? I say, how about you?
526
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,634
Hold on.
527
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,792
Christ almighty.
528
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,716
- You say her name was Edna?
- Edna, yeah, number 19, I think.
529
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,438
Nineteen, and she was on the same side
of the street.
530
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,953
- Yeah, that's right.
- It is.
531
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,354
- Chief.
- Millen? What's going on?
532
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,590
Well, it's like a bloody family reunion here.
533
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,194
Seems our Harry was a big hit
with the neighbors.
534
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:35,592
He's checking out here as well.
Get everyone over, now.
535
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:36,669
Will do.
536
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,517
- Same brooch all right.
- That's absolutely incredible.
537
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,035
This is gonna be the scoop of the century.
538
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,758
It's not quite enough.
539
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,630
- You've got to be kidding me, chief.
- It's my mother's brooch for certain.
540
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:59,871
They could've just had the same taste
in brooches.
541
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:03,191
That doesn't prove she was a stand-in
for the Queen Mum, does it?
542
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,509
That whole side of the story
is still circumstantial.
543
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,673
Didn't think that bothered people like you.
544
00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:13,879
It's a question of degree, my love.
545
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:18,954
Saying that Posh Spice had a boob job
isn't quite the same as saying
546
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:23,238
the dear old Queen Mum was an imposter
called Cynthia Felgate.
547
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,556
No, there's only one thing
that's gonna clinch this, I'm afraid.
548
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,073
What's that?
549
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,990
- You mean DNA?
- Yes.
550
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:50,555
Chief, how are we gonna get
the Queen Mother's DNA?
551
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,952
I know they've got her dressing table
as part of the royal collection, chief.
552
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,874
- I'll do it. I'll go in.
- No need.
553
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,794
I've got good connections at the Palace,
chief. I think I can swing it.
554
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,356
I mean if the Mirror can get a man in there
for three weeks,
555
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,431
I'm sure I can manage an afternoon.
556
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,274
Get the DNA back to the lab
by 8:00 Saturday night.
557
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,635
If it matches, we've got a story.
558
00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:20,432
If it doesn't, I'll have a lovely photo
of you two on my front page, instead.
559
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,833
"The Men Who Tried
to Frame Francis Owen."
560
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,399
I like it.
561
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,069
Yeah.
562
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,588
That brooch was supposed to be
the clincher.
563
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,717
There's no way that my DNA is going
to match the Queen Mother's.
564
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,791
Well, there is a simple way around this.
565
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,917
Yeah, well, we ain't gonna dig up
the Queen Mum, are we?
566
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,719
No, of course not. Sorry, Albie.
567
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,119
That hurt.
568
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:50,398
- We'll have to plant Albert's DNA first.
- You are joking.
569
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,516
Millen's got an inside man.
We're never gonna get in there.
570
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,479
No, no, no, Stacie's right.
We can do this, Danny. We have to.
571
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,518
Wow, where did you get all this stuff, Ash?
572
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,158
Probably best you don't ask.
573
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:09,357
Now, time's everything.
Albert will be in contact with Danny,
574
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,192
and I'll pass it down the line to you.
575
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:12,679
Got it.
What about the surveillance cameras?
576
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:14,273
Yeah, that was tricky
with the short notice,
577
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,555
but I'll hack into the CCTV,
but I can't shut them down.
578
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,517
All I can do is track where you are
579
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,353
and see if Stacie's got enough time
to plant Albert's hair.
580
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,830
Apart from that,
you're on your own, all right?
581
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,715
You're late, you idiot. Put this on.
582
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,677
You ever tried running
without looking suspicious?
583
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,513
All the Queen Mum's stuff is on display
in the Queen Anne room.
584
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,238
- It's marked on that map.
- Right.
585
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,198
What are we actually looking for?
586
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:38,952
There's a cabinet containing
all her personal stuff.
587
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,349
Her hairbrush should be covered in DNA.
588
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,113
Hairbrush. In the Queen Anne Room.
589
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,509
These passes will get you inside and out.
590
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:51,116
The keys will open the display cases.
If anything goes wrong, I don't know you.
591
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,714
I've never met you,
and you didn't get this stuff from me.
592
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,677
All right, relax, mate.
You'll give yourself an ulcer.
593
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,751
There you go, three grand. Easy money.
594
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,797
- Are you getting all this, Albert?
- Yes. Now, see if you can hold him up
595
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,996
until Stacie and Michael
get to the Queen Anne room.
596
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:05,718
- Yeah, yeah.
- Aren't you ready yet?
597
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,190
- Just got a bit of a wedgie.
- Just come on, will you? Take that.
598
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,794
Listen, the only reason you're here is
if I go down, you go down with me.
599
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:17,352
Tim, Tim, I just want to say, before we...
You know, thank you for letting me in.
600
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,396
- Yeah, all right.
- And I just also want to say that...
601
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,597
Shut up! Stop arsing around
and let's get on with it!
602
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:24,795
Hello, mate.
603
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,074
Cheers.
604
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:44,832
Two tickets, please.
605
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,199
You going away this year?
606
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,191
- Where you going?
- Portugal.
607
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,474
Oh, very nice.
608
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,032
God, it's massive.
609
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,997
- Good afternoon.
- Afternoon.
610
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,629
- So is this the servants' quarters then?
- Keep it down, Chris.
611
00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:03,233
- Sorry.
- You work here, remember?
612
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:04,548
Yeah, that's right.
613
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:09,395
- Regency Corridor is first floor.
- Regency Corridor, first floor.
614
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,109
They're heading to the Regency Corridor
on the first floor.
615
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:17,193
- Ash, we're in. Are you hooked up?
- Yeah, I can see you.
616
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,555
You need to head
to the Queen Anne room.
617
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:23,599
Millen's in the servants' quarters making
his way up to the Regency Corridor.
618
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,468
As soon as we pick him up, we'll go...
Oh, shit.
619
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:33,109
Oh, what a...
620
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,069
Don't do this to me.
621
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:37,629
Come on.
622
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,511
Oh, what a pile of crap.
623
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,431
We're just entering the Regency Corridor.
624
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,671
- So this is the Regency Corridor?
- Is it? I don't know.
625
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,512
How long before Millen gets here?
626
00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:52,676
Come on. Yes.
627
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,435
- Mickey, he's right on top of you.
- I could use a little help here.
628
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,080
Danny, Michael needs a diversion.
629
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,436
Millen, is it me or does Her Maj
look like one of the corgi's
630
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,750
has done a little bit of a whoopsie
under her nose?
631
00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:09,878
- What are you talking about?
- No, just...
632
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,235
- Just stop pissing about!
- Doesn't look happy, does she?
633
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,435
Help me work out where the hell we are.
634
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,637
Not like she does in the stamps,
when you see the smile.
635
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:17,914
What?
636
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,070
I think this is... Oh, here we are.
It's upside down.
637
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,752
It's right, it's fine.
638
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,632
Are you sure this is the right way?
639
00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:59,756
Definitely, definitely,
it's just straight down here.
640
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:03,838
Okay, Ash, we're here.
641
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:08,072
You're looking for the Queen Mum 'shairbrush in the main cabinet.
642
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,549
The cabinet's in the middle of the room.
643
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:11,868
There are three cameras in total.
644
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:16,192
One on the door, two on the balcony,
each doing 180-degree rotation.
645
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:23,073
There's only a three-second window
646
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:26,550
when the cabinet isn't covered
by one of the cameras.
647
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,475
No, she'll never do it, Mick.
648
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,319
Danny can't hold Millen forever.Stacie'll never beat the cameras.
649
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:46,112
The three-second clearance just isn'tenough. I think you should get out now.
650
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,192
No, no, wait, I may have a blind spot.
651
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:55,718
- Blind spot? I can't see it, mate.
- Trust me.
652
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,756
In 30 seconds, on my cue.
653
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,910
I don't see this blind spot, Mick.
654
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,912
She's in full view.
655
00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:20,994
Excuse me.
656
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:26,473
Could you tell me where
the Prince Philip Collection is, please?
657
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:30,589
What the hell's going on?
658
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,272
- Ash, what's happening?
- I don't know, mate.
659
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,828
It's just gone, innit? Come on.
660
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:36,837
If you carry on down this corridor...
661
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:40,189
Come on!
662
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:43,508
All right, come on.
663
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:48,991
It's the second door on the left.
664
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,433
Come on, come on, come on.
665
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,754
I'm sorry. I got completely confused.
666
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,189
Jesus, where the hell are we?
667
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,748
I'm sure I saw some display cases
over there.
668
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,150
We're back here again, you tosser.
It's this way.
669
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,354
Danny can't stall Millen anymore.
670
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,236
Work you bastard! Yes!
671
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,637
I don't see them.
672
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:28,909
Where are they?
673
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,550
Mickey? Stace?
674
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,438
Well, I hope they've planted it,
because Millen's here.
675
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:39,991
There's a guard.
676
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,878
Do you want me to distract him
with a fake heart attack or something?
677
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,918
All you need is balls, Chris.
Just watch and learn, son.
678
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,070
All right, mate?
We got called in to fix a wonky latch.
679
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,151
Shouldn't take a minute.
680
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,670
All looks fine to me.
Don't know what the problem was.
681
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:37,635
Jesus.
682
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,155
Well, what happened? Did you do it?
683
00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:45,038
- I told you we'd found a blind spot.
- Well done, you two.
684
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,588
- Did Millen take the hair, Albie?
- Oh, yeah.
685
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,677
He's been bragging about it
for the last five minutes, listen.
686
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,557
There's only about three journalistsin the country
687
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:52,959
that would have had the ballsto do that, Chris.
688
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,032
Just wait till that gets round the city.I'll never have to buy another drink again.
689
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,192
Okay, then, let's go see Owen
and pick up our check.
690
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:06,235
Millen's gone down to the lab
with the DNA sample.
691
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,835
- I'm expecting a call from him any minute.
- Great.
692
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,799
So, can we talk about our 250 grand?
693
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,759
Why don't we wait to hear
what the lab has to say?
694
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:26,949
Owen here.
695
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,792
It's an exact match, chief.
696
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:30,474
Are you sure?
697
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:32,713
Positive.
698
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,672
Yep. Only ever see it with maternal DNA.
699
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,557
Thank you very much.
700
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:47,796
We have a deal.
701
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:49,632
- Yes.
- Excellent.
702
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,153
I knew it. I knew this story was a killer.
703
00:49:53,240 --> 00:49:54,878
I guess it's that time...
704
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,953
Yes, it certainly is. �250,000, as agreed.
705
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,118
Have you seen
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
706
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:07,079
What, the game show?
707
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,436
Where he writes the check
and then he goes,
708
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,556
"But I don't want to give you that."
709
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,074
- Sure.
- I love that bit.
710
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,277
Hey, now. What are you doing?
711
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,914
- Get out of my office.
- What?
712
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:39,597
Put yourself in my place.
Quarter of a million is a lot of money.
713
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,194
But this is my story.
714
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:46,592
I'm not going to give you an interview,
or the photos, or the film.
715
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,274
I don't need it. I've got a DNA match.
716
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:54,878
I can just say I uncovered the whole
scandal by using my diligent research
717
00:50:54,960 --> 00:51:00,432
and my incredible nose for a story.
Which is why I'm a Fleet Street editor
718
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,195
and you are just a couple of punks
on the make.
719
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:05,952
I want my hair back.
720
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:12,028
- We'll take this story somewhere else.
- Too late, mate, the presses are running.
721
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,516
I'm gonna sue you.
I'll sue you for every penny you've got.
722
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:20,673
Be my guest. Are you familiar
with the British legal system?
723
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:24,196
My lawyers will tie you up
for the rest of your life.
724
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,158
Get out of here, I've got a paper to run.
725
00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:28,229
Harry.
726
00:51:31,240 --> 00:51:33,708
- Chief, have I still got my job?
- Piss off!
727
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:52,195
- So he stiffed us?
- I'm afraid so.
728
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:56,438
Given Owen's reputation,
I thought that might be the case,
729
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,990
so I came up with plan B.
730
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,549
I'd like to see the editor,
Martin Townsend.
731
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:06,108
- Do you have an appointment?
- I called this morning.
732
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,475
So, what can I do for you?
733
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:09,754
How much would you pay me
734
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:11,796
to take down the editor
of the Weekend World?
735
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,833
�100,000, as agreed.
736
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,870
Get away. Scum !
737
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,954
You and your bleeding plan Bs, Mickey.
738
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,270
Well, I can't take all the credit.
739
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:51,035
It appears that we weren't the only peopleinterested in the World.
740
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:56,079
Normally, we wouldn't bother ourselves
with your petty criminal activities.
741
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,276
But we are concerned about the lies
you're constructing
742
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,510
about the late Queen Mother.
743
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:03,791
Be under no illusions.
744
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:10,114
Your lives won't be worth living
if you proceed.
745
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:19,229
What if my intention was to bring down
the editor of the Weekend World?
746
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:23,397
My employers might have
some sympathy with that cause.
747
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,472
So, we can proceed?
748
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:30,314
On the condition that you tell no one,
whatsoever, about this meeting.
749
00:53:31,720 --> 00:53:34,188
Perhaps you may be willing to help?
750
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,798
- What blind spot? I can't see it.
- Trust me.
751
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,359
- We're here. Stacie's in position.
- Okay. We're on it.
752
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:58,675
Now.
753
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:00,509
What...
754
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:02,235
Oh, shit.
755
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:03,753
What the hell's going on?
756
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:08,436
Could you tell me where
the Prince Philip Collection is, please?
757
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:10,639
Come on.
758
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:14,350
Hang on. They're back on.
759
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:15,879
Mickey, I tell you what, son.
760
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:17,632
You completely excelled yourself
on this one.
761
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:18,709
Great.
762
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,913
I really thought we had completely
wasted our time, but check it out.
763
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:26,632
100,000 smackeroonies.
764
00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:28,517
- Sorry.
- Hey.
765
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,751
- I knew we should have mentioned it.
- What?
766
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:36,436
Well, I thought it would be a nice gesture
for us to donate this to Emily's charity.
767
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,238
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
768
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,356
I thought we were ruthless con artists.
769
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,954
When did we turn into Robin Hood
and his merry bleeding men?
770
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,314
Just this once.
771
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,278
Yeah, well, I think Maid Marian here's
taking the piss.
772
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:50,716
Listen, she is a really good friend
who's been through a really tough time.
773
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:52,916
Yeah, well, so have I.
774
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,673
It's on the wire services. Owen's resigned.
775
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,034
- Yay!
- Yeah!
776
00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:58,758
- Millen?
- Sacked.
777
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:02,310
Had to clear his desk
and marched out of his office by security.
778
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:03,949
Poor thing.
779
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,837
Still, Millen's got that story you gave him
780
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:08,229
about the fat in the sewers,
hasn't he, Danny?
781
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:13,952
Did I say fat? Slip of the tongue.
I meant to say raw sewage.
782
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,596
All that work for no return.
783
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:27,910
Come on, Danny.
We're hardly out of pockets.
784
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,911
What about the score
from the record collector?
785
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,434
Yeah. Well, what's wrong
with having two scores?
786
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:37,029
Danny, my dear boy,
those feelings you have inside...
787
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:38,149
Yeah?
788
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:41,556
...they're virtue and generosity
and contentment.
789
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:45,150
Really? How long before they wear off?
790
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:51,309
This is brilliant.
791
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:57,037
And this is just a little donation
from friends.
792
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:03,191
Thank you so much.
793
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:10,033
You know, Mick,
at first I was a bit surprised
794
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,793
those Ml5 boys were so keen
to bring down Owen.
795
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:13,869
Yeah?
796
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:19,550
But then I thought,
"What if our story was true?"
797
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,751
Oh, come on, Ash.
798
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:40,229
Come on, now, let's go.
66132
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