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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Do you know if he'll be doing
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- the full color octet calculations?
- I do not.
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Do you know how to differentiate
under the integral sign?
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No.
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[chuckles]: Do you know anything?
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Anyone know what happens to baryons?
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Yes, Paige.
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We can ignore the particle masses
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at the individual quark level.
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- STURGIS: Correct.
- MARY: A unique child
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can require a lot of attention.
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Try all the attention.
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Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
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- Why?
- They fight all the time.
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- About what?
- Mostly me.
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- I guess I'm lucky.
- Why?
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I'm the glue that holds
our family together.
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- Hi, Sheldon.
- What did you do to your hair?
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- Is this because your parents got divorced?
- [Mary sighs]
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You're so smart. Why
are you acting like this?
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My mom is going on dates,
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and my dad is acting like a child.
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It's just hard to care.
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Can I offer you a hot beverage?
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["Surfin' U.S.A." by
the Beach Boys playing]
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♪ If everybody had an ocean... ♪
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ADULT SHELDON: Children everywhere
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are excited by summer vacation,
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and I was no exception.
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Because instead of vacation Bible school
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with my sister, I was
headed to the local library
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for a fun-filled week of postal delights
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otherwise known as stamp camp.
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In 1989, they released dinosaur stamps.
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- No one cares.
- MARY: Come on, now.
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He's excited. And that gets
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my stamp of approval.
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I'm using that.
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It's going to kill at stamp camp.
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Oh, sorry. It was canceled.
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What? Why?
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Not enough interest.
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Not enough interest in stamps?
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It's the fastest-growing
hobby in people 70 and over
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according to Reader's Digest.
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Sorry, sweetie.
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Well, what am I supposed to do now?
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Ha! You have to go to Bible camp.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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♪ Fly me to the moon, and let me... ♪
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Come on, Shelly. It's a space theme.
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Isn't that fun?
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Jesus was a carpenter, not an astronaut.
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Maybe he built the rocket.
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What would he use for fuel?
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Ooh, doughnut holes.
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Can I please wait in the car?
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No. I want you to be here.
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I'll be fine. You can
crack the back window.
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PAIGE: Hi, Sheldon.
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- Paige. What are you doing here?
- My mom made me.
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See? She doesn't want to be here either.
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I'm gonna go say hi to your mom.
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Why did your mom make you?
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Punishment. I got
caught with cigarettes.
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Why would you want to smoke?
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To look older.
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My meemaw smokes. I guess it works.
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So, why are you here?
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Do you believe in this stuff now?
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No. Stamp camp got canceled.
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Further proof there is no God.
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[door opens, closes]
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I did it. I bought a car.
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Really? You got the Mustang?
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I was fixing to,
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but then something else caught my eye.
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You did something dumb.
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Now, it needs a little bit of work,
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but once I'm done,
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- it's gonna be amazing.
- No.
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What do you mean?
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It's got low mileage,
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great stereo.
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Check this out.
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Look at all the room.
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Hell no.
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Why?
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This isn't a car. It's
a motel room on wheels.
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Is that how little you think of me?
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[scoffs] Yes. Maybe less.
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George, your mother works
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for the church. This doesn't look good.
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I don't know, looks pretty good to me.
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00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:41,090
- [sighs] Please, listen to me.
- Come on.
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If I drive Sheldon to college,
he can sleep back there.
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00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:46,110
So, you saw that couch,
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and the first thought you had was,
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"My brother can sleep on that"?
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Not my first thought.
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♪ Now I've read my Bible ♪
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♪ And I can't understand ♪
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♪ How folks can think ♪
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♪ That Jesus was... ♪
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This licorice tastes terrible.
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00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,120
It's plastic.
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00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:05,000
You use it to weave a lanyard.
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00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:07,610
No, it's licorice.
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00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,600
Your mother lets you wear lipstick?
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- Of course not.
- Interesting.
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Does she know you're
leading a double life?
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Grow up.
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Why do you think you're rebelling
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against parental authority?
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Isn't it obvious? I'm having
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a textbook reaction to their divorce.
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What textbook? Did you
get it from the library?
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Hello, Biblenauts!
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[chuckles] Gather round.
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Now, who's ready to find
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space for Jesus in our hearts?
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I can't hear you!
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Perhaps that's because space is a vacuum
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where sound doesn't travel.
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00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,050
Nicely done.
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00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:49,180
You're not the only rebel around here.
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I thought he had stamp camp.
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Just go get your money back
and buy a different car.
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00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:54,790
No.
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00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,620
Georgie, I'm not playing around.
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Neither am I. I bought
it with my own money,
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and you don't get a say.
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00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,168
As long as you live under my roof,
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I get plenty of say.
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00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:03,950
Fine. I'll move out.
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00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,430
And where you gonna go?
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I'll live in the van.
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00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,630
[laughs] You know what?
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00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:09,880
It was only a matter of time
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00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:11,840
before you lived in a van. Have at it.
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Scooby-Doo lived in a van,
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and he turned out fine.
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♪ I'm a rocket man ♪
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00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,320
♪ Rocket man ♪
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♪ Flying up to heaven with the Lord ♪
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♪ And I think it's gonna
be a fun old time. ♪
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- [laughs]: All right. Amen.
- [applause]
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Sing "Ice Ice Baby."
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Don't know it.
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How about Paula Abdul?
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00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,160
- Nope.
- Ooh! The Teenage Mutant Ninja theme.
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Mary, what is that I'm hearing?
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Oh! Right.
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00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:47,530
It's the prize bell! [chuckles]
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What do you think the prize is?
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00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:50,630
We get to go home?
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Is the joke that leaving
would be a reward?
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Yes.
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00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:56,420
I get that joke.
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00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:57,460
JEFF: Now,
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for a psalm 100 bookmark,
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00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,950
who can name the 12 apostles?
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00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,690
Billy.
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00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:06,170
Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc...
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00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,910
Those are dwarves. Anyone else?
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Look at these suckers trying to
compete for a stupid bookmark.
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They probably don't even know psalm 100.
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Or what a book is.
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How about six apostles?
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Just give me six.
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I'll settle for three,
and I'll spot you Judas.
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I don't even care about
church, and I can name them all.
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So can I.
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No, you can't.
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Yes, I can.
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I can even do it in alphabetical order.
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Well, I can name them
in the order they appear
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in the Book of Matthew.
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Paige, yes.
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Peter, Andrew, James, son of Zebedee,
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John, Philip, Bartholomew,
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Thomas, Matthew,
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James, son of Alpheus,
Thaddeus, Simon and Judas.
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And that's the order that they
appear in the Book of Matthew.
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JEFF: Fantastic! [chuckles]
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You just won yourself a
psalm 100 bookmark. [chuckles]
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Thank you. I love that psalm.
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[applause]
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ADULT SHELDON: You would think winning
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a Nobel Prize in Physics
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would make this moment
meaningless to me,
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00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:09,750
but all these years later,
it still burns my butt.
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Why would Paige get
competitive over Bible trivia?
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She doesn't care about that.
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00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,220
Maybe she just wanted that bookmark.
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00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,490
Yeah. I wanted
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00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,500
this "what would Jesus
do?" slap bracelet.
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- Ow.
- I liked it better
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when she and I were
making fun of everything.
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You might have more fun
if you participated, too.
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Oh, I'll participate.
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00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,330
Great.
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00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,740
If Paige wants to go
head-to-head on Bible trivia,
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she picked the wrong
fact-filled atheist to mess with.
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Great.
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- [bracelet slaps]
- MISSY: Ow.
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00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,880
GEORGE JR.: Well?
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00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:46,750
It's very... colorful.
214
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,370
Not just colorful. Patriotic.
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00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,500
It's also a little gross.
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00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:54,600
It just needs a little shampoo.
But check out the best part.
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00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,300
Want to try it out?
218
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,419
In front of your parents' house?
219
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,790
That's what's so great.
We can drive it anywhere.
220
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,200
Empty field, abandoned parking lot.
221
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:10,300
Wherever love takes us.
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00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:13,400
[sniffs] What is that smell?
223
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,170
There was a mouse in the mini fridge.
224
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,830
Ew!
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00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,200
Did you hear me?
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00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:22,800
There's a mini fridge!
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00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,270
You're really making him live out there?
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00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,920
He's not gonna last one
night in that nasty thing.
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00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,750
Have you seen that boy's room?
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00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,030
SHELDON: Judah was the father
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00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,210
of Perez and Zerah by Tamar,
232
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,880
Perez was the father of Hezron,
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00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:37,489
and Hezron was the father of Ram.
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00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:38,820
Why's he reading the Bible?
235
00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:41,650
To humiliate and destroy
Paige at Bible camp.
236
00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:42,750
That.
237
00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,630
Missy doing anything stupid?
238
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,240
- [door opens, closes]
- No.
239
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,640
One out of three. Not bad. Hey!
240
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:52,940
Where do you think you're going?
241
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,470
Bathroom.
242
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,210
No, you're not. You don't live here.
243
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,370
George.
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00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,520
You want him making
grandkids in that van?
245
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,890
You heard him! Get!
246
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,310
Dang it.
247
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,970
[doorbell rings]
248
00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:08,520
Can I use your bathroom?
249
00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:11,220
Your dad wants to talk to you.
250
00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:12,570
Hello.
251
00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:14,368
GEORGE SR.: You can't
use her bathroom either.
252
00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:15,530
Dang it.
253
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:17,860
There's a bucket in the garage.
254
00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:19,630
[laughs]
255
00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:22,840
[insects trilling]
256
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,680
[knocking]
257
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,200
Hey.
258
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:29,600
Brought you some food.
259
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,930
Don't tell your father.
260
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:31,980
Thanks.
261
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,100
Want to come in?
262
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,810
It smells less disgusting now.
263
00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:37,900
I'm... really good here.
264
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,780
Georgie, um,
265
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:42,170
this is a... nice van,
266
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,230
but why don't you think about selling it
267
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,960
so you can come back inside?
268
00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:48,690
No. I'm not letting him win this one.
269
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,210
[sighs]
270
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:52,130
You know you can't live in here.
271
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,360
Why not?
272
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,100
It's hot out.
273
00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:57,620
The windows roll down.
274
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,840
How are you gonna take a shower?
275
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,670
It's supposed to rain this weekend.
276
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,190
What about a bathroom?
277
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,930
See that bucket?
278
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,330
Good night.
279
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,030
Ask me what the fruits
of the Spirit are.
280
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,420
I'm sure you know them.
281
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:16,510
Of course I do.
282
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,670
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
283
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,280
goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control.
284
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,760
Then why do I have to ask?
285
00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:24,680
So I can improve my
hand-raising technique.
286
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,210
Fine.
287
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,240
What are the fruits of the Spirit?
288
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,390
Good. We done?
289
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,810
No, you have to call on me.
290
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,220
Sheldon.
291
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:35,220
Love, joy, peace, patience,
292
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,408
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
293
00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:38,180
gentleness and self-control.
294
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:40,930
Now ask me to name three
wicked women of the Bible.
295
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,410
Can I ask you a question?
296
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:45,328
If it's "Who are three
wicked women in the Bible?,"
297
00:10:45,330 --> 00:10:46,520
then go ahead.
298
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:48,550
Why don't you believe in God?
299
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:51,500
Sheldon.
300
00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:53,340
Because science explains the universe
301
00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,030
without the need of inventing
a supernatural being.
302
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,160
But how do you know for
sure he doesn't exist?
303
00:10:58,170 --> 00:10:59,770
- Ooh.
- Stop that.
304
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,290
The burden of proof isn't on me.
305
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,900
If I said there was an invisible
monkey in the room with us,
306
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,020
you shouldn't believe me
307
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,780
just because you can't prove me wrong.
308
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,560
Why is the monkey invisible?
309
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:10,650
I don't know.
310
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,090
Is it a ghost monkey?
311
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,130
Sure.
312
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,570
Then why isn't he in heaven?
313
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:15,830
Because there is no heaven.
314
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,029
What about monkey heaven?
315
00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:18,320
There is no monkey heaven.
316
00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:19,770
There is no regular heaven.
317
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,010
When we die, we cease
to exist. That's it.
318
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,750
You better hope you're right.
319
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,840
'Cause if I end up in regular
heaven and you end up in hell,
320
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,200
I'm gonna laugh.
321
00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:30,580
But if you end up in monkey hell,
322
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,150
I'm gonna laugh even harder.
323
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,380
Just paint your nails.
324
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,680
God, when Sheldon dies,
325
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,460
please send him to monkey hell.
326
00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:39,600
Amen.
327
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,520
[squeaking]
328
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:52,130
[groans softly]
329
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:53,920
[squeaking]
330
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,230
[George Jr. screams]
331
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,790
[in distance]: Get it off! Get it off!
332
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,480
- What was that?
- It's in my hair!
333
00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,610
Not my problem.
334
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:02,970
- It's in my hair!
- [grunts]
335
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,550
It's in my hair!
336
00:12:09,570 --> 00:12:10,820
For your information,
337
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,600
not only am I going
to show you up today,
338
00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:15,090
I've also prepared some
biblical trash talk.
339
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,570
What is he talking about?
340
00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:18,740
He stayed up all night studying.
341
00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:20,050
Why?
342
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,750
To beat you at Bible trivia.
343
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,190
Just like the prophets of
mercy beat the priestly cult
344
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,060
and its emphasis on ritual purity.
345
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,800
Was that the trash talk?
346
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,890
[scoffs] Was Zacchaeus a tax collector?
347
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,590
Was Nicodemus a Pharisee?
348
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,160
Just hit him.
349
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,710
- [chuckles]
- JEFF: Okay, campers!
350
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,390
Bible trivia time.
351
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,850
For a Noah's Ark
352
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,690
rain poncho,
353
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,200
what was Peter's original name?
354
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,480
- Sheldon.
- Peter's original name was Simon.
355
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,050
- Correct!
- You didn't know that one, did you?
356
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,140
Yes, I did.
357
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,880
He was also known as Cephas.
358
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,790
Then why didn't you raise your hand?
359
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,160
'Cause I don't care.
360
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:55,770
JEFF: Next question.
361
00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:58,770
For a John the Baptist pencil topper,
362
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:01,980
where did Jesus perform
his first miracle?
363
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:07,770
Sheldon.
364
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,020
A wedding.
365
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,410
[chuckles]: Correct!
366
00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,180
Aren't you even going to try?
367
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:13,920
Nope.
368
00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:16,190
Why won't you compete with me?
369
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,020
Because it's fun watching you get upset.
370
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:20,910
What's fun about it?
371
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,480
Everything.
372
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,520
Morning, sunshine.
373
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,060
[exhales] What do you want?
374
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,780
Oh, just to see how you're doing.
375
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:35,910
I'm fine.
376
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,200
Thanks for the juice.
377
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:38,850
Oh, this isn't for you.
378
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,510
Mmm.
379
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,920
Mmm.
380
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:44,810
[smacks lips, sighs]
381
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,280
Cold and refreshing.
382
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,050
So, how'd you sleep?
383
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,300
You look terrible.
384
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,930
- Are you done?
- Depends.
385
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:52,660
You ready to return the van?
386
00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:54,620
This van's not going anywhere.
387
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:58,570
Don't you have to work this morning?
388
00:13:58,580 --> 00:13:59,630
Crap.
389
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,920
[engine failing to turn over]
390
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:07,270
Yep, it's not going anywhere.
391
00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:10,920
Paige,
392
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,840
a sprig of my hair is askew.
393
00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:14,630
Upsetting, isn't it?
394
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,990
No.
395
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,780
But it's going a different direction
396
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,130
from all the other hairs.
397
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,260
So?
398
00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:22,440
You think it's fun irritating me?
399
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:24,390
I'm giving you a taste
of your own medicine.
400
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,020
Ha.
401
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,420
[Dale humming]
402
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,340
- Hey.
- [yelps]
403
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:39,510
I'm on medication, you know.
404
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,730
Wh-What are you doing in there?
405
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:43,000
Just washed up in your sink.
406
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,650
Don't want to offend the customers.
407
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:46,050
Why?
408
00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:47,780
My dad's mad 'cause I bought a van,
409
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,660
and he's not letting me use the house.
410
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:52,230
Oh. So that's your old
Chevy parked out front?
411
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,790
Pretty sweet, right?
412
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,630
You have a clean title on it?
413
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,650
Pretty much.
414
00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:58,580
I think it's registered in Mexico.
415
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,320
Well, that's something.
416
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:02,990
But it's got a bed and a mini fridge.
417
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,730
Wow. Sweet.
418
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,130
I'm gonna hang some twinkle lights
419
00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:07,750
and maybe get a lava lamp.
420
00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:11,340
Georgie, did I ever...
421
00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:13,560
tell you why I got married so young?
422
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,080
You were in love?
423
00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:17,390
No, because, when I was your age,
424
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,440
I bought a similar vehicle.
425
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:22,540
Cool. What was it?
426
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:24,870
Just get dressed.
427
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,060
Okay.
428
00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:29,900
- [door closes]
- ["Moovin' 'N' Groovin'" by Duane Eddy playing]
429
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,030
Paige,
430
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,040
look how close this
pushpin is to this balloon.
431
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,170
Mm-hmm.
432
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,560
It could pop at any moment.
433
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,000
I bet that drives you cra...
434
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:41,450
♪ ♪
435
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,060
Hello.
436
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,150
- What now?
- What now?
437
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,160
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
438
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,739
- Are you just gonna repeat everything I...
- Are you just gonna repeat
439
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,100
everything I say?
440
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,730
I, Sheldon Cooper...
441
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:54,750
I, Sheldon Cooper...
442
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,338
...accept Jesus Christ
as my Lord and Savior.
443
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:58,500
...accept Jesus Chr...
444
00:15:58,510 --> 00:15:59,660
[grunts]
445
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:05,500
Go get me a beer, woman.
446
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:07,070
What?
447
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,240
It infuriates my mom
when my dad says it.
448
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:10,810
Sheldon, stop.
449
00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,860
- You can't upset me.
- Why not?
450
00:16:12,870 --> 00:16:15,220
Because there are things in
my life that are way worse
451
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,250
than anything that you can come up with.
452
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,560
You mean your parents splitting up.
453
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:20,830
Obviously.
454
00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:24,060
I think I know how to irritate you.
455
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,410
I bet you think the
divorce is all your fault
456
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,870
and now your family
is torn apart forever.
457
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,730
Did I do it?
458
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,410
Did I get under your skin?
459
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,890
I can still hear the sound
of her fist hitting your face
460
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,730
and your head bouncing off the floor.
461
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:38,810
That is enough.
462
00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:39,860
It was like, "Thwack,"
463
00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:40,870
and then, "Kathunk."
464
00:16:40,871 --> 00:16:42,630
MARY: I said enough!
465
00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:44,720
MISSY: And there were doughnut holes.
466
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:46,160
What a great day.
467
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,510
♪ Heartbeat... ♪
468
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,690
ADULT SHELDON: That night, my
brother turned a ratty old van
469
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:58,420
into his chariot of love.
470
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:01,560
♪ Heartbeat ♪
471
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:02,790
♪ I'm looking for a... ♪
472
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,570
Romance was in the air.
473
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:06,930
♪ Beating like... ♪
474
00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:08,899
- Hey.
- Oh. Hey, Mr. Boggs.
475
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,940
I-I'm just here to pick up Jana.
476
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,010
You think you're taking
my daughter out in this?
477
00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:16,410
No worries. I'll have her home by 11:00.
478
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:18,100
[exhales]
479
00:17:18,110 --> 00:17:20,720
Ooh. I wouldn't open that.
480
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,600
Move.
481
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,890
♪ ♪
482
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,740
[exhales]
483
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,390
It's got a mini fridge.
484
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,790
[door closes]
485
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,850
I thought about what you said.
486
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,370
I'm returning the van. Good night.
487
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,200
WEATHERMAN: This is the kind of weather
488
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,838
- that makes you want to stay at home.
- [door closes]
489
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,100
If you don't have to
go out today, don't.
490
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:47,180
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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