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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,810 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:03,140 Do you know if he'll be doing 3 00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:05,680 - the full color octet calculations? - I do not. 4 00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:08,130 Do you know how to differentiate under the integral sign? 5 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:09,149 No. 6 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:10,490 [chuckles]: Do you know anything? 7 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,250 Anyone know what happens to baryons? 8 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,650 Yes, Paige. 9 00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:16,350 We can ignore the particle masses 10 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,100 at the individual quark level. 11 00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,130 - STURGIS: Correct. - MARY: A unique child 12 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:21,960 can require a lot of attention. 13 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,080 Try all the attention. 14 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,970 Well, I think my parents are getting a divorce. 15 00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,920 - Why? - They fight all the time. 16 00:00:26,930 --> 00:00:29,180 - About what? - Mostly me. 17 00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:31,410 - I guess I'm lucky. - Why? 18 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,260 I'm the glue that holds our family together. 19 00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:36,610 - Hi, Sheldon. - What did you do to your hair? 20 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,130 - Is this because your parents got divorced? - [Mary sighs] 21 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,650 You're so smart. Why are you acting like this? 22 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:44,380 My mom is going on dates, 23 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:46,960 and my dad is acting like a child. 24 00:00:46,970 --> 00:00:50,850 It's just hard to care. 25 00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:54,940 Can I offer you a hot beverage? 26 00:00:57,510 --> 00:00:59,500 ["Surfin' U.S.A." by the Beach Boys playing] 27 00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:00,800 ♪ If everybody had an ocean... ♪ 28 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,370 ADULT SHELDON: Children everywhere 29 00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:04,460 are excited by summer vacation, 30 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:06,130 and I was no exception. 31 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,850 Because instead of vacation Bible school 32 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,110 with my sister, I was headed to the local library 33 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,740 for a fun-filled week of postal delights 34 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:17,000 otherwise known as stamp camp. 35 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,740 In 1989, they released dinosaur stamps. 36 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,740 - No one cares. - MARY: Come on, now. 37 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,660 He's excited. And that gets 38 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,310 my stamp of approval. 39 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,610 I'm using that. 40 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,580 It's going to kill at stamp camp. 41 00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:31,010 Oh, sorry. It was canceled. 42 00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:33,230 What? Why? 43 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,719 Not enough interest. 44 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,510 Not enough interest in stamps? 45 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,020 It's the fastest-growing hobby in people 70 and over 46 00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,840 according to Reader's Digest. 47 00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:42,060 Sorry, sweetie. 48 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:43,760 Well, what am I supposed to do now? 49 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,900 Ha! You have to go to Bible camp. 50 00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:50,530 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 51 00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,350 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 52 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,010 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 53 00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:58,680 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 54 00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:04,990 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 55 00:02:07,150 --> 00:02:10,360 ♪ Fly me to the moon, and let me... ♪ 56 00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:12,530 Come on, Shelly. It's a space theme. 57 00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:13,980 Isn't that fun? 58 00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:17,130 Jesus was a carpenter, not an astronaut. 59 00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:18,790 Maybe he built the rocket. 60 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,440 What would he use for fuel? 61 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,790 Ooh, doughnut holes. 62 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,660 Can I please wait in the car? 63 00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:26,440 No. I want you to be here. 64 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,540 I'll be fine. You can crack the back window. 65 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:30,100 PAIGE: Hi, Sheldon. 66 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:33,380 - Paige. What are you doing here? - My mom made me. 67 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,989 See? She doesn't want to be here either. 68 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:36,780 I'm gonna go say hi to your mom. 69 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,160 Why did your mom make you? 70 00:02:39,170 --> 00:02:41,520 Punishment. I got caught with cigarettes. 71 00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:42,770 Why would you want to smoke? 72 00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:43,900 To look older. 73 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:46,340 My meemaw smokes. I guess it works. 74 00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,220 So, why are you here? 75 00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,930 Do you believe in this stuff now? 76 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,830 No. Stamp camp got canceled. 77 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,090 Further proof there is no God. 78 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,400 [door opens, closes] 79 00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:58,810 I did it. I bought a car. 80 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:00,430 Really? You got the Mustang? 81 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,650 I was fixing to, 82 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:03,610 but then something else caught my eye. 83 00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,339 You did something dumb. 84 00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,180 Now, it needs a little bit of work, 85 00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:08,990 but once I'm done, 86 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,320 - it's gonna be amazing. - No. 87 00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:13,020 What do you mean? 88 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,720 It's got low mileage, 89 00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:16,410 great stereo. 90 00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:17,860 Check this out. 91 00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:22,640 Look at all the room. 92 00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,200 Hell no. 93 00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:25,680 Why? 94 00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:28,640 This isn't a car. It's a motel room on wheels. 95 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,560 Is that how little you think of me? 96 00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:32,910 [scoffs] Yes. Maybe less. 97 00:03:32,930 --> 00:03:34,230 George, your mother works 98 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:36,250 for the church. This doesn't look good. 99 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,348 I don't know, looks pretty good to me. 100 00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:41,090 - [sighs] Please, listen to me. - Come on. 101 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,940 If I drive Sheldon to college, he can sleep back there. 102 00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:46,110 So, you saw that couch, 103 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,990 and the first thought you had was, 104 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,550 "My brother can sleep on that"? 105 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,560 Not my first thought. 106 00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:54,660 ♪ Now I've read my Bible ♪ 107 00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:56,780 ♪ And I can't understand ♪ 108 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:58,170 ♪ How folks can think ♪ 109 00:03:58,180 --> 00:03:59,610 ♪ That Jesus was... ♪ 110 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,830 This licorice tastes terrible. 111 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,120 It's plastic. 112 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:05,000 You use it to weave a lanyard. 113 00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:07,610 No, it's licorice. 114 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,600 Your mother lets you wear lipstick? 115 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:13,620 - Of course not. - Interesting. 116 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:15,930 Does she know you're leading a double life? 117 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,450 Grow up. 118 00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,430 Why do you think you're rebelling 119 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,040 against parental authority? 120 00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,440 Isn't it obvious? I'm having 121 00:04:22,450 --> 00:04:24,190 a textbook reaction to their divorce. 122 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,340 What textbook? Did you get it from the library? 123 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,340 Hello, Biblenauts! 124 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,440 [chuckles] Gather round. 125 00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:35,770 Now, who's ready to find 126 00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:39,270 space for Jesus in our hearts? 127 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,020 I can't hear you! 128 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:43,960 Perhaps that's because space is a vacuum 129 00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,530 where sound doesn't travel. 130 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,050 Nicely done. 131 00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:49,180 You're not the only rebel around here. 132 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:51,220 I thought he had stamp camp. 133 00:04:51,230 --> 00:04:53,620 Just go get your money back and buy a different car. 134 00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:54,790 No. 135 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,620 Georgie, I'm not playing around. 136 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,670 Neither am I. I bought it with my own money, 137 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,830 and you don't get a say. 138 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,168 As long as you live under my roof, 139 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,380 I get plenty of say. 140 00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:03,950 Fine. I'll move out. 141 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,430 And where you gonna go? 142 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,780 I'll live in the van. 143 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,630 [laughs] You know what? 144 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:09,880 It was only a matter of time 145 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:11,840 before you lived in a van. Have at it. 146 00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,800 Scooby-Doo lived in a van, 147 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:15,890 and he turned out fine. 148 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:19,080 ♪ I'm a rocket man ♪ 149 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,320 ♪ Rocket man ♪ 150 00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:23,350 ♪ Flying up to heaven with the Lord ♪ 151 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:29,450 ♪ And I think it's gonna be a fun old time. ♪ 152 00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:33,000 - [laughs]: All right. Amen. - [applause] 153 00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:35,179 Sing "Ice Ice Baby." 154 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:36,189 Don't know it. 155 00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:38,020 How about Paula Abdul? 156 00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,160 - Nope. - Ooh! The Teenage Mutant Ninja theme. 157 00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:42,080 Mary, what is that I'm hearing? 158 00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:43,790 Oh! Right. 159 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:47,530 It's the prize bell! [chuckles] 160 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,280 What do you think the prize is? 161 00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:50,630 We get to go home? 162 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,590 Is the joke that leaving would be a reward? 163 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,940 Yes. 164 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:56,420 I get that joke. 165 00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:57,460 JEFF: Now, 166 00:05:57,470 --> 00:06:00,210 for a psalm 100 bookmark, 167 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,950 who can name the 12 apostles? 168 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,690 Billy. 169 00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:06,170 Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc... 170 00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,910 Those are dwarves. Anyone else? 171 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,670 Look at these suckers trying to compete for a stupid bookmark. 172 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,990 They probably don't even know psalm 100. 173 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,300 Or what a book is. 174 00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:16,560 How about six apostles? 175 00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:18,480 Just give me six. 176 00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:20,840 I'll settle for three, and I'll spot you Judas. 177 00:06:20,850 --> 00:06:23,270 I don't even care about church, and I can name them all. 178 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,450 So can I. 179 00:06:25,430 --> 00:06:26,510 No, you can't. 180 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,250 Yes, I can. 181 00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:30,419 I can even do it in alphabetical order. 182 00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,590 Well, I can name them in the order they appear 183 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,290 in the Book of Matthew. 184 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,530 Paige, yes. 185 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,960 Peter, Andrew, James, son of Zebedee, 186 00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:42,990 John, Philip, Bartholomew, 187 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,490 Thomas, Matthew, 188 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,850 James, son of Alpheus, Thaddeus, Simon and Judas. 189 00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,290 And that's the order that they appear in the Book of Matthew. 190 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,840 JEFF: Fantastic! [chuckles] 191 00:06:52,850 --> 00:06:55,980 You just won yourself a psalm 100 bookmark. [chuckles] 192 00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:58,020 Thank you. I love that psalm. 193 00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,660 [applause] 194 00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,370 ADULT SHELDON: You would think winning 195 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,980 a Nobel Prize in Physics 196 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,440 would make this moment meaningless to me, 197 00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:09,750 but all these years later, it still burns my butt. 198 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:17,220 Why would Paige get competitive over Bible trivia? 199 00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:19,180 She doesn't care about that. 200 00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,220 Maybe she just wanted that bookmark. 201 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,490 Yeah. I wanted 202 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,500 this "what would Jesus do?" slap bracelet. 203 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,170 - Ow. - I liked it better 204 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,300 when she and I were making fun of everything. 205 00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:31,440 You might have more fun if you participated, too. 206 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,180 Oh, I'll participate. 207 00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,330 Great. 208 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,740 If Paige wants to go head-to-head on Bible trivia, 209 00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:39,310 she picked the wrong fact-filled atheist to mess with. 210 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,440 Great. 211 00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:42,190 - [bracelet slaps] - MISSY: Ow. 212 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,880 GEORGE JR.: Well? 213 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:46,750 It's very... colorful. 214 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,370 Not just colorful. Patriotic. 215 00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,500 It's also a little gross. 216 00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:54,600 It just needs a little shampoo. But check out the best part. 217 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,300 Want to try it out? 218 00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,419 In front of your parents' house? 219 00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,790 That's what's so great. We can drive it anywhere. 220 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,200 Empty field, abandoned parking lot. 221 00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:10,300 Wherever love takes us. 222 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:13,400 [sniffs] What is that smell? 223 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,170 There was a mouse in the mini fridge. 224 00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,830 Ew! 225 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,200 Did you hear me? 226 00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:22,800 There's a mini fridge! 227 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,270 You're really making him live out there? 228 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,920 He's not gonna last one night in that nasty thing. 229 00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,750 Have you seen that boy's room? 230 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,030 SHELDON: Judah was the father 231 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,210 of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, 232 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,880 Perez was the father of Hezron, 233 00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:37,489 and Hezron was the father of Ram. 234 00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:38,820 Why's he reading the Bible? 235 00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:41,650 To humiliate and destroy Paige at Bible camp. 236 00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:42,750 That. 237 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,630 Missy doing anything stupid? 238 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,240 - [door opens, closes] - No. 239 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,640 One out of three. Not bad. Hey! 240 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:52,940 Where do you think you're going? 241 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,470 Bathroom. 242 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,210 No, you're not. You don't live here. 243 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,370 George. 244 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,520 You want him making grandkids in that van? 245 00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,890 You heard him! Get! 246 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,310 Dang it. 247 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,970 [doorbell rings] 248 00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:08,520 Can I use your bathroom? 249 00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:11,220 Your dad wants to talk to you. 250 00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:12,570 Hello. 251 00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:14,368 GEORGE SR.: You can't use her bathroom either. 252 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:15,530 Dang it. 253 00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:17,860 There's a bucket in the garage. 254 00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:19,630 [laughs] 255 00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:22,840 [insects trilling] 256 00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,680 [knocking] 257 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,200 Hey. 258 00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:29,600 Brought you some food. 259 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,930 Don't tell your father. 260 00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:31,980 Thanks. 261 00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,100 Want to come in? 262 00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,810 It smells less disgusting now. 263 00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:37,900 I'm... really good here. 264 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,780 Georgie, um, 265 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:42,170 this is a... nice van, 266 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,230 but why don't you think about selling it 267 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,960 so you can come back inside? 268 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:48,690 No. I'm not letting him win this one. 269 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,210 [sighs] 270 00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:52,130 You know you can't live in here. 271 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,360 Why not? 272 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,100 It's hot out. 273 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:57,620 The windows roll down. 274 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,840 How are you gonna take a shower? 275 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,670 It's supposed to rain this weekend. 276 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,190 What about a bathroom? 277 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,930 See that bucket? 278 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,330 Good night. 279 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,030 Ask me what the fruits of the Spirit are. 280 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,420 I'm sure you know them. 281 00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:16,510 Of course I do. 282 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,670 Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, 283 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,280 goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 284 00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,760 Then why do I have to ask? 285 00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:24,680 So I can improve my hand-raising technique. 286 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,210 Fine. 287 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,240 What are the fruits of the Spirit? 288 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,390 Good. We done? 289 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,810 No, you have to call on me. 290 00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,220 Sheldon. 291 00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:35,220 Love, joy, peace, patience, 292 00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,408 kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 293 00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:38,180 gentleness and self-control. 294 00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:40,930 Now ask me to name three wicked women of the Bible. 295 00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,410 Can I ask you a question? 296 00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:45,328 If it's "Who are three wicked women in the Bible?," 297 00:10:45,330 --> 00:10:46,520 then go ahead. 298 00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:48,550 Why don't you believe in God? 299 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:51,500 Sheldon. 300 00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:53,340 Because science explains the universe 301 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,030 without the need of inventing a supernatural being. 302 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,160 But how do you know for sure he doesn't exist? 303 00:10:58,170 --> 00:10:59,770 - Ooh. - Stop that. 304 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,290 The burden of proof isn't on me. 305 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,900 If I said there was an invisible monkey in the room with us, 306 00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,020 you shouldn't believe me 307 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,780 just because you can't prove me wrong. 308 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,560 Why is the monkey invisible? 309 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:10,650 I don't know. 310 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,090 Is it a ghost monkey? 311 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,130 Sure. 312 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,570 Then why isn't he in heaven? 313 00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:15,830 Because there is no heaven. 314 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,029 What about monkey heaven? 315 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:18,320 There is no monkey heaven. 316 00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:19,770 There is no regular heaven. 317 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,010 When we die, we cease to exist. That's it. 318 00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,750 You better hope you're right. 319 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,840 'Cause if I end up in regular heaven and you end up in hell, 320 00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,200 I'm gonna laugh. 321 00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:30,580 But if you end up in monkey hell, 322 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,150 I'm gonna laugh even harder. 323 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,380 Just paint your nails. 324 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,680 God, when Sheldon dies, 325 00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,460 please send him to monkey hell. 326 00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:39,600 Amen. 327 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,520 [squeaking] 328 00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:52,130 [groans softly] 329 00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:53,920 [squeaking] 330 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,230 [George Jr. screams] 331 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,790 [in distance]: Get it off! Get it off! 332 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,480 - What was that? - It's in my hair! 333 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,610 Not my problem. 334 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:02,970 - It's in my hair! - [grunts] 335 00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,550 It's in my hair! 336 00:12:09,570 --> 00:12:10,820 For your information, 337 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,600 not only am I going to show you up today, 338 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:15,090 I've also prepared some biblical trash talk. 339 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,570 What is he talking about? 340 00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:18,740 He stayed up all night studying. 341 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:20,050 Why? 342 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,750 To beat you at Bible trivia. 343 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,190 Just like the prophets of mercy beat the priestly cult 344 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,060 and its emphasis on ritual purity. 345 00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,800 Was that the trash talk? 346 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,890 [scoffs] Was Zacchaeus a tax collector? 347 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,590 Was Nicodemus a Pharisee? 348 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,160 Just hit him. 349 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,710 - [chuckles] - JEFF: Okay, campers! 350 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,390 Bible trivia time. 351 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,850 For a Noah's Ark 352 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,690 rain poncho, 353 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,200 what was Peter's original name? 354 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,480 - Sheldon. - Peter's original name was Simon. 355 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,050 - Correct! - You didn't know that one, did you? 356 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,140 Yes, I did. 357 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,880 He was also known as Cephas. 358 00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,790 Then why didn't you raise your hand? 359 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,160 'Cause I don't care. 360 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:55,770 JEFF: Next question. 361 00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:58,770 For a John the Baptist pencil topper, 362 00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:01,980 where did Jesus perform his first miracle? 363 00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:07,770 Sheldon. 364 00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,020 A wedding. 365 00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,410 [chuckles]: Correct! 366 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,180 Aren't you even going to try? 367 00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:13,920 Nope. 368 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:16,190 Why won't you compete with me? 369 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,020 Because it's fun watching you get upset. 370 00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:20,910 What's fun about it? 371 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,480 Everything. 372 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,520 Morning, sunshine. 373 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,060 [exhales] What do you want? 374 00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,780 Oh, just to see how you're doing. 375 00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:35,910 I'm fine. 376 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,200 Thanks for the juice. 377 00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:38,850 Oh, this isn't for you. 378 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,510 Mmm. 379 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,920 Mmm. 380 00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:44,810 [smacks lips, sighs] 381 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,280 Cold and refreshing. 382 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,050 So, how'd you sleep? 383 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,300 You look terrible. 384 00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,930 - Are you done? - Depends. 385 00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:52,660 You ready to return the van? 386 00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:54,620 This van's not going anywhere. 387 00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:58,570 Don't you have to work this morning? 388 00:13:58,580 --> 00:13:59,630 Crap. 389 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,920 [engine failing to turn over] 390 00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:07,270 Yep, it's not going anywhere. 391 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:10,920 Paige, 392 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,840 a sprig of my hair is askew. 393 00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:14,630 Upsetting, isn't it? 394 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,990 No. 395 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,780 But it's going a different direction 396 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,130 from all the other hairs. 397 00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,260 So? 398 00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:22,440 You think it's fun irritating me? 399 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:24,390 I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine. 400 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,020 Ha. 401 00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,420 [Dale humming] 402 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,340 - Hey. - [yelps] 403 00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:39,510 I'm on medication, you know. 404 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,730 Wh-What are you doing in there? 405 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:43,000 Just washed up in your sink. 406 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,650 Don't want to offend the customers. 407 00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:46,050 Why? 408 00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:47,780 My dad's mad 'cause I bought a van, 409 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,660 and he's not letting me use the house. 410 00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:52,230 Oh. So that's your old Chevy parked out front? 411 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,790 Pretty sweet, right? 412 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,630 You have a clean title on it? 413 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,650 Pretty much. 414 00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:58,580 I think it's registered in Mexico. 415 00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,320 Well, that's something. 416 00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:02,990 But it's got a bed and a mini fridge. 417 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,730 Wow. Sweet. 418 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,130 I'm gonna hang some twinkle lights 419 00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:07,750 and maybe get a lava lamp. 420 00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:11,340 Georgie, did I ever... 421 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:13,560 tell you why I got married so young? 422 00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,080 You were in love? 423 00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:17,390 No, because, when I was your age, 424 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,440 I bought a similar vehicle. 425 00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:22,540 Cool. What was it? 426 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:24,870 Just get dressed. 427 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,060 Okay. 428 00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:29,900 - [door closes] - ["Moovin' 'N' Groovin'" by Duane Eddy playing] 429 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,030 Paige, 430 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,040 look how close this pushpin is to this balloon. 431 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,170 Mm-hmm. 432 00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,560 It could pop at any moment. 433 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,000 I bet that drives you cra... 434 00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:41,450 ♪ ♪ 435 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,060 Hello. 436 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,150 - What now? - What now? 437 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,160 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 438 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,739 - Are you just gonna repeat everything I... - Are you just gonna repeat 439 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,100 everything I say? 440 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,730 I, Sheldon Cooper... 441 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:54,750 I, Sheldon Cooper... 442 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,338 ...accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. 443 00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:58,500 ...accept Jesus Chr... 444 00:15:58,510 --> 00:15:59,660 [grunts] 445 00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:05,500 Go get me a beer, woman. 446 00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:07,070 What? 447 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,240 It infuriates my mom when my dad says it. 448 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:10,810 Sheldon, stop. 449 00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,860 - You can't upset me. - Why not? 450 00:16:12,870 --> 00:16:15,220 Because there are things in my life that are way worse 451 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,250 than anything that you can come up with. 452 00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,560 You mean your parents splitting up. 453 00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:20,830 Obviously. 454 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:24,060 I think I know how to irritate you. 455 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,410 I bet you think the divorce is all your fault 456 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,870 and now your family is torn apart forever. 457 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,730 Did I do it? 458 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,410 Did I get under your skin? 459 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,890 I can still hear the sound of her fist hitting your face 460 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,730 and your head bouncing off the floor. 461 00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:38,810 That is enough. 462 00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:39,860 It was like, "Thwack," 463 00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:40,870 and then, "Kathunk." 464 00:16:40,871 --> 00:16:42,630 MARY: I said enough! 465 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:44,720 MISSY: And there were doughnut holes. 466 00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:46,160 What a great day. 467 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,510 ♪ Heartbeat... ♪ 468 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,690 ADULT SHELDON: That night, my brother turned a ratty old van 469 00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:58,420 into his chariot of love. 470 00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:01,560 ♪ Heartbeat ♪ 471 00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:02,790 ♪ I'm looking for a... ♪ 472 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,570 Romance was in the air. 473 00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:06,930 ♪ Beating like... ♪ 474 00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:08,899 - Hey. - Oh. Hey, Mr. Boggs. 475 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,940 I-I'm just here to pick up Jana. 476 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,010 You think you're taking my daughter out in this? 477 00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:16,410 No worries. I'll have her home by 11:00. 478 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:18,100 [exhales] 479 00:17:18,110 --> 00:17:20,720 Ooh. I wouldn't open that. 480 00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,600 Move. 481 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,890 ♪ ♪ 482 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,740 [exhales] 483 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,390 It's got a mini fridge. 484 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,790 [door closes] 485 00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,850 I thought about what you said. 486 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,370 I'm returning the van. Good night. 487 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,200 WEATHERMAN: This is the kind of weather 488 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,838 - that makes you want to stay at home. - [door closes] 489 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,100 If you don't have to go out today, don't. 490 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:47,180 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 33271

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