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1
00:00:04,355 --> 00:00:06,480
Thanks for going jogging with me, Adam.
2
00:00:11,522 --> 00:00:14,105
No problem. I love jogging.
3
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,480
Why do you think I own
this jogging outfit?
4
00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:19,188
It's not like I dug it out
of my grandfather's armoire
5
00:00:19,272 --> 00:00:22,438
after you called and invited me jogging
and I looked up what jogging was.
6
00:00:24,647 --> 00:00:26,230
Well, I'm glad we're doing it in here.
7
00:00:26,313 --> 00:00:29,563
If I've learned one thing
from police procedural shows,
8
00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:32,563
it's that outside,
joggers always find dead bodies.
9
00:00:32,647 --> 00:00:34,438
Uggh! [thud!]
10
00:00:39,397 --> 00:00:41,938
It's Mrs. Straupersson!
The geography teacher!
11
00:00:42,022 --> 00:00:44,563
And she's lying
in a pool of her own hay!
12
00:00:47,272 --> 00:00:49,022
She has no pulse.
13
00:00:49,105 --> 00:00:50,272
Because she's a scarecrow.
14
00:00:50,355 --> 00:00:52,730
On a separate matter, she's dead.
15
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:55,022
[shrieks]
16
00:00:55,105 --> 00:00:57,563
I understand, Echo.
Seeing a dead body can be unnerving.
17
00:00:57,647 --> 00:01:00,188
It's not that body! It's yours.
18
00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:04,855
Please... get some longer shorts!
19
00:01:07,730 --> 00:01:10,855
? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ?
20
00:01:12,730 --> 00:01:14,813
? We've been trying to get here ?
21
00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:18,563
? Since we both
Were barely two feet tall ?
22
00:01:18,647 --> 00:01:21,980
? Who you callin' kid?
Who you callin' kid? ?
23
00:01:22,063 --> 00:01:24,730
? Who you callin' kid? ?
24
00:01:24,813 --> 00:01:26,438
? Can call me what you want ?
25
00:01:26,522 --> 00:01:27,897
? But I won't hear a word ?
26
00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:31,813
? Where I am here ?
27
00:01:31,897 --> 00:01:33,438
? Who you callin' kid? ?
28
00:01:37,522 --> 00:01:38,897
[Echo] Wait!
29
00:01:54,772 --> 00:01:56,147
She may be gone,
30
00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:58,355
but at least we can take some comfort
31
00:01:58,438 --> 00:01:59,730
in knowing that I can
32
00:01:59,813 --> 00:02:01,272
finally fix this jacket.
33
00:02:04,897 --> 00:02:06,938
She'll always be with us.
34
00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:09,230
Well, when you're wearing that jacket.
35
00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:12,105
Whoo. That was rough.
36
00:02:12,188 --> 00:02:16,063
I know. I already told Adam to put on
some longer shorts.
37
00:02:16,147 --> 00:02:19,688
Not that. I had to break the news
to Straupersson's family.
38
00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:23,647
They were so shocked,
39
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:24,956
they couldn't even say anything.
40
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,647
They just stood there, staring at me.
41
00:02:28,438 --> 00:02:30,938
Nothing in principal school
prepares you for that.
42
00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:33,230
Or for anything, really.
43
00:02:35,313 --> 00:02:36,813
Look at this place!
44
00:02:36,897 --> 00:02:39,730
Straw stains are
nearly impossible to get out.
45
00:02:44,438 --> 00:02:45,897
Oh! I was wrong.
46
00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:48,938
Someone needs to pay for this.
47
00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:52,313
I will not rest until I find
Mrs. Straupersson's killer!
48
00:02:52,397 --> 00:02:53,772
Hey, everyone.
49
00:02:55,563 --> 00:02:58,188
Oh, thank goodness.
I was getting really tired.
50
00:02:58,272 --> 00:03:00,230
If you need me,
I'll be resting in my office.
51
00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:03,980
Can't... make it.
52
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,897
Ivy?
53
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,647
You killed Mrs. Straupersson?
54
00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:13,188
What? No!
55
00:03:13,272 --> 00:03:16,063
Then explain why you're covered in hay.
56
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,730
Whoo!
57
00:03:20,897 --> 00:03:23,647
[thinking] I can't tell them
I'm taking square-dancing lessons.
58
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,730
It's too embarrassing!
59
00:03:25,813 --> 00:03:27,605
I'm dating a horse.
60
00:03:28,438 --> 00:03:30,063
Nice try, missy.
61
00:03:30,147 --> 00:03:32,647
We know that you and Chattanooga Charlie
broke up.
62
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:37,438
You know, we could hold a student court
and put Ivy on trial.
63
00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,147
Great idea.
64
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:42,563
We just need to find someone super-smart
to be the judge.
65
00:03:42,647 --> 00:03:45,063
Derby! You want to be a judge?
66
00:03:45,147 --> 00:03:47,022
Of what?
67
00:03:47,105 --> 00:03:49,688
This year's Miss Bikini contest?
68
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:52,272
No! Of student court.
69
00:03:52,355 --> 00:03:55,522
Oh. Will everyone be wearing bikinis?
70
00:03:55,605 --> 00:03:57,730
Well, I can't speak for everyone, but...
71
00:03:57,813 --> 00:03:59,855
I'm game!
72
00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:01,688
You know who should be the judge?
73
00:04:01,772 --> 00:04:04,647
Echo? Dang? Mr. Straupersson?
74
00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:07,438
The Strauperssons' dog? Ivy?
75
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:10,022
Ivy's the prime suspect.
76
00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:12,188
Who better to know if she's guilty?
77
00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:15,563
I should be the judge!
78
00:04:15,647 --> 00:04:19,188
I'm smart. Impartial.
79
00:04:19,272 --> 00:04:21,730
I have a robe.
80
00:04:21,813 --> 00:04:22,897
Ooh. Could I borrow it?
81
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:25,272
I'm going to be
awfully chilly in my bikini.
82
00:04:27,063 --> 00:04:28,855
[dramatic soundtrack plays]
83
00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:34,022
This isn't fair!
You can't punish me without a trial!
84
00:04:34,105 --> 00:04:35,563
You haven't been punished yet.
85
00:04:35,647 --> 00:04:38,647
Uh, hello? I'm wearing orange!
86
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:41,730
And my accessories
are a little matchy-matchy.
87
00:04:45,813 --> 00:04:48,438
Don't worry, Ivy.
You've got me as your lawyer.
88
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,563
A kid lawyer?
89
00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:52,730
Sounds like the premise
of some implausible sitcom.
90
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,855
Trust me. I'm your man.
91
00:04:54,938 --> 00:04:57,022
No one gets away
with more stuff than me.
92
00:04:57,105 --> 00:05:00,105
Isn't that right, you bald fart-clown?
93
00:05:00,188 --> 00:05:02,522
Hey. You can't call me that.
94
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:06,147
- It wasn't me!
- All right, then.
95
00:05:06,855 --> 00:05:08,480
All rise.
96
00:05:10,438 --> 00:05:12,105
[sighs]
97
00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:17,480
The honorable Judge Young presiding.
98
00:05:17,563 --> 00:05:18,772
"Judge Young"?
99
00:05:18,855 --> 00:05:21,688
Sounds like the name
of some implausible sitcom.
100
00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:25,897
You may be seated.
101
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:27,397
Finally.
102
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,730
Let's begin with opening arguments.
103
00:05:32,813 --> 00:05:37,188
[courtroom bickering]
104
00:05:37,272 --> 00:05:38,313
[gavel raps]
105
00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:39,813
Thank you.
106
00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:42,855
Mr. Tater, call your first witness.
107
00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:47,897
I call to the stand... Dang.
108
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,605
- You called...
- Aaaaah!
109
00:05:50,688 --> 00:05:53,605
Me to the stand?
110
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,522
Dang, have you ever witnessed
111
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:59,272
Ivy and Mrs. Straupersson
not getting along?
112
00:05:59,355 --> 00:06:00,730
Yes.
113
00:06:00,813 --> 00:06:02,313
Yesterday, in fact.
114
00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:04,063
[gasp, gavel raps]
115
00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:07,938
Please hold all your gasps to the end.
116
00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:11,147
I was cleaning up after school
when I overheard
117
00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:14,355
the two of them arguing
in Mrs. Straupersson's class.
118
00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:17,105
Ivy was all, "I don't want to
do this assignment."
119
00:06:17,188 --> 00:06:19,188
and Mrs. Straupersson was all...
120
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,022
So, Ivy murdered Mrs. Straupersson
121
00:06:25,105 --> 00:06:26,938
to get out of doing
her geography assignment?
122
00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:31,397
It was an impossible assignment!
The questions were about made-up places!
123
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,772
Like "New Zealand."
124
00:06:33,855 --> 00:06:35,438
New Zealand is a real place.
125
00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:39,438
Oh, yeah?
Then why is there no "Zealand"?
126
00:06:39,522 --> 00:06:42,022
Actually, there's a town
called Zealand in New Brunswick.
127
00:06:42,105 --> 00:06:44,813
Yeah, but there's no "Brunswick."
128
00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:47,147
Yes, there is.
Brunswick is a town in New England.
129
00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:51,230
Aha! Then explain why there's no England.
130
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,188
Ach! She got us!
131
00:06:57,313 --> 00:06:58,855
Derby? Your witness.
132
00:06:58,938 --> 00:07:02,313
I call to the stand Dang.
133
00:07:02,397 --> 00:07:05,105
- I am already here.
- Aaaah!
134
00:07:08,063 --> 00:07:10,313
You weren't born in
this country, were you, Dang?
135
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,980
[Eastern soundtrack plays]
136
00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:16,980
[speaking Vietnamese]
137
00:07:23,938 --> 00:07:26,147
[plop!]
138
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,313
[baby cries]
139
00:07:30,397 --> 00:07:32,147
[parents shriek]
140
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:38,730
No, I was born in Vietnam.
But what difference does it make?
141
00:07:38,813 --> 00:07:42,313
You claim to have
overheard an argument.
142
00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:45,188
But you don't speak English
as goodly
143
00:07:45,272 --> 00:07:48,855
as us personites who did am be born
in this countryland, does you?
144
00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:54,605
I do not understand what you are saying.
145
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:56,730
Case cozily.
146
00:08:03,647 --> 00:08:05,688
Mr. Tater, call your next witness.
147
00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:07,605
Right away, your honor.
148
00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:13,938
[ringing]
149
00:08:14,022 --> 00:08:15,855
[ringing]
150
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:17,147
Hello?
151
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,397
It's Mr. Tater calling...
152
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,480
you to the stand.
153
00:08:21,438 --> 00:08:24,522
I object! He's the judge.
154
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,438
I'm going to allow it.
155
00:08:26,522 --> 00:08:29,272
I want to hear what this bright young man
has to say.
156
00:08:29,355 --> 00:08:30,563
Mr. Young...
157
00:08:30,647 --> 00:08:33,230
I've called you to the stand
as an expert witness
158
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,480
to give scientific testimony.
159
00:08:35,563 --> 00:08:37,397
I would've called a real science expert,
160
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,480
but Mr. Hodsden, the gym teacher,
is at his psychic.
161
00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:46,938
These fibers were found
on the defendant Ivy Young.
162
00:08:47,022 --> 00:08:50,647
Can you confirm or deny...
163
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,105
but really confirm...
164
00:08:53,188 --> 00:08:54,897
that this is straw?
165
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,438
Yes, I can.
166
00:08:56,522 --> 00:08:59,022
There is a highly scientific test
167
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,480
to determine if a substance
is, in fact, straw.
168
00:09:04,063 --> 00:09:06,772
Yep! This is straw, y'all.
169
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:11,355
No further questions.
170
00:09:13,147 --> 00:09:16,022
So you're a "science" expert?
171
00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:18,855
Why have I never heard of
this "science?"
172
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:20,579
Because you always
sleep through my class.
173
00:09:20,605 --> 00:09:22,938
I am not the one on trial here!
174
00:09:25,355 --> 00:09:26,647
Okay.
175
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:29,772
You claim... that this is straw.
176
00:09:30,688 --> 00:09:32,522
Then why can't I use it
177
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:35,813
to drink any of this... frosty lemonade?
178
00:09:41,438 --> 00:09:43,313
Objection!
179
00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,355
I stole Derby's lunch earlier.
180
00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:47,772
That lemonade should be mine.
181
00:09:49,563 --> 00:09:50,980
Sustained.
182
00:09:54,688 --> 00:09:56,022
Call your next witness.
183
00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:58,063
I call Mrs. Byrne.
184
00:09:58,147 --> 00:10:02,105
[sultry soundtrack plays]
185
00:10:02,188 --> 00:10:04,480
[husky voice] I was hoping you'd call.
186
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:15,022
I wish justice really was blind.
187
00:10:23,147 --> 00:10:25,772
What can I do for you, big boy?
188
00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:27,844
Mrs. Byr... [voice cracks] Ahem.
189
00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:33,272
Mrs. Byrne, do you remember seeing
anything suspicious
190
00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:34,647
after school yesterday?
191
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:35,772
No.
192
00:10:35,855 --> 00:10:37,789
Do you remember where you were
yesterday after school?
193
00:10:37,813 --> 00:10:39,230
No.
194
00:10:39,313 --> 00:10:41,688
Do you know where you are now?
195
00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,522
No.
196
00:10:44,397 --> 00:10:46,438
Is there anything you'd like to add?
197
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,522
Yes. Whipped topping.
198
00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,647
It makes everything better.
199
00:10:57,813 --> 00:10:59,563
No more questions.
200
00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,397
I think we should take a short recess.
201
00:11:08,855 --> 00:11:12,438
Next, I'd like to call
Principal Tater to the stand.
202
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,522
Your honor? Permission to gasp?
203
00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:17,855
- Granted.
- [gasps]
204
00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:22,063
I am going to show
that the defendant
205
00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,563
has exhibited a pattern
of disrespect to authority.
206
00:11:24,647 --> 00:11:27,022
That's not true, you bald loser!
207
00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:29,480
[shrieks] She's going to murder me!
208
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,730
All she did was call you a bald loser.
209
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:36,313
Everyone knows name-calling
is a stepping stone to... murder!
210
00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:41,355
Is there a point to this?
So she called him a bald loser one time.
211
00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:42,897
I wouldn't call that a pattern.
212
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:47,105
I would.
Male pattern... baldness!
213
00:11:48,522 --> 00:11:50,105
Zinger! High-five.
214
00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,230
[whispers] Not the time.
215
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,480
I would like to read this list
of things Ivy has called me.
216
00:11:56,563 --> 00:11:57,980
Go ahead.
217
00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,438
[clears throat]
218
00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:04,272
Baldy... Baldman, Baldy Balderson...
219
00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:06,355
Baldy McBaldybald...
220
00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:08,730
Rabbi Baldy Baldstein,
221
00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:11,480
Admiral Baldy of the S.S. Baldwin,
222
00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:14,188
Baldylocks and the Three Balds,
223
00:12:14,272 --> 00:12:16,730
Baldy the Clown, Baldo Baggins,
224
00:12:16,813 --> 00:12:18,605
"Where's Baldo?"
225
00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:20,563
the Belle of the Bald,
226
00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:22,480
the Bald
and the Not-at-all-Beautiful...
227
00:12:24,188 --> 00:12:25,438
Baldenstein...
228
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,313
the Bride of Baldenstein...
229
00:12:31,605 --> 00:12:34,313
the Fresh Prince of Bald Hair,
230
00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:36,730
Prima Balderina,
231
00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:38,730
Dudvig von Baldthoven,
232
00:12:38,813 --> 00:12:40,480
Lucille Bald,
233
00:12:40,563 --> 00:12:42,438
Unhairy Baldafonte...
234
00:12:43,313 --> 00:12:44,855
Baldman the Dork Knight...
235
00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:50,188
and high school principal.
236
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,313
Would the court reporter
please read back the transcript?
237
00:12:55,313 --> 00:12:57,147
Baldy, Baldman,
238
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,188
Baldy Balderson, Baldy McBaldybald...
239
00:12:59,272 --> 00:13:01,730
Objection! What is the point of this?
240
00:13:01,813 --> 00:13:03,313
It's funny.
241
00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:06,855
Uh... Fine. Derby, your witness.
242
00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:10,188
My client admits that she called you
those things,
243
00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:12,480
but that's not proof she's a murderer.
244
00:13:12,563 --> 00:13:14,772
It's proof that, A, you're bald...
245
00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:18,855
and B, she recognizes that you're bald.
246
00:13:20,313 --> 00:13:22,897
You just want Ivy in prison
because she was mean to you.
247
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,772
She called me...
248
00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:27,022
"high school principal."
249
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:31,063
- How would you like to be called that?
- I would not.
250
00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:36,147
But that's no reason
to lock this innocent girl away
251
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:40,563
with hundreds of the most depraved,
naughty, unredeemable girls.
252
00:13:41,063 --> 00:13:42,480
Wait a second.
253
00:13:42,563 --> 00:13:44,397
I did it!
254
00:13:45,522 --> 00:13:49,147
I killed Mrs. Straupersson!
Put me in girl prison.
255
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,188
You would have to go to dude prison,
with other dudes.
256
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:55,522
Oh.
257
00:13:55,605 --> 00:13:57,897
Then I did not do it.
258
00:13:57,980 --> 00:13:59,938
It was probably Ivy.
259
00:14:01,105 --> 00:14:02,230
Derby!
260
00:14:02,313 --> 00:14:04,647
You're supposed to be
proving to these people
261
00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:07,605
that I would never hurt anyone!
262
00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:15,355
Prosecution rests.
263
00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:21,313
[Tater sighs]
264
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,563
What should we do?
Everyone thinks I'm a murderer!
265
00:14:30,397 --> 00:14:33,147
Great! Then I've done my job.
266
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,855
Derby! You're supposed to be defending me.
267
00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:38,147
What? But you're guilty.
268
00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:40,272
Okay, okay.
269
00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:42,313
I call to the stand...
270
00:14:42,397 --> 00:14:44,063
Echo Zizzleswift.
271
00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:50,272
Ms. Zizzleswift,
272
00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:53,230
I have subpoenaed you
to be a character witness.
273
00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,605
Okay. What character would you like?
274
00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:58,230
The smalltown girl
who moves to the big city?
275
00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:00,938
[gasp] Gee, golly whiz!
276
00:15:01,022 --> 00:15:04,980
There sure are a lot
of big, tall buildings around here.
277
00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:09,022
The washed-up policeman
who's needed back on the force?
278
00:15:09,105 --> 00:15:11,605
I'm no good to anyone no more.
279
00:15:11,688 --> 00:15:15,105
I get the jitters ever since
I saw what those animals did
280
00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:18,272
to that smalltown girl
who moved to the big city.
281
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:21,855
The old Irishman who feels
like his neighborhood
282
00:15:21,938 --> 00:15:23,522
is being overrun by those filthy...
283
00:15:23,605 --> 00:15:25,188
Okay! No.
284
00:15:26,438 --> 00:15:29,480
He meant character witness,
as in talking about Ivy.
285
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:30,980
Oh.
286
00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:35,230
Echo, you're on the cheerleading squad
with Ivy, right?
287
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,397
- Yes.
- Do you think she's capable of murder?
288
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,522
Yes.
289
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,897
The former head cheerleader has
been missing for three months.
290
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:46,563
She's not missing!
I know exactly where I left her.
291
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,313
I mean, where she went on vacation.
292
00:15:51,397 --> 00:15:53,605
I have some questions for this witness.
293
00:15:54,772 --> 00:15:58,938
This "cheerleading" you speak of...
did you bring the uniform?
294
00:15:59,022 --> 00:16:02,105
"Did you... bring the uniform?
295
00:16:02,188 --> 00:16:05,938
Judge Young stares at witness creepily."
296
00:16:08,188 --> 00:16:10,313
I just think you need
to prove to the court
297
00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:12,230
that you are really a cheerleader.
298
00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:21,063
Well, I guess I could do a cheer.
Here's one Ivy wrote last week.
299
00:16:25,105 --> 00:16:27,813
A homework assignment?
Could this day worsen?
300
00:16:27,897 --> 00:16:31,688
If I have to do it,
I'm going to kill Straupersson!
301
00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:33,563
Give me a K!
302
00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:34,688
K!
303
00:16:34,772 --> 00:16:36,772
- Give me an I!
- I!
304
00:16:36,855 --> 00:16:38,647
- Give me an L!
- L!
305
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,730
- Give me another L!
- L!
306
00:16:40,813 --> 00:16:43,480
- Give me a knife!
- Knife!
307
00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,313
Or maybe a big rock!
308
00:16:45,397 --> 00:16:46,813
Rock!
309
00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:55,313
I have no questions for this witness.
310
00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:56,938
This looks bad.
311
00:16:57,022 --> 00:16:58,688
Objection.
312
00:16:59,897 --> 00:17:01,522
This looks good.
313
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:07,230
Any lawyer in their right mind
would never do what I'm about to do.
314
00:17:07,313 --> 00:17:09,772
But I'm not any lawyer.
315
00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:12,480
Seriously, I'm not a lawyer.
316
00:17:14,313 --> 00:17:17,022
I call Ivy Young to the stand.
317
00:17:22,022 --> 00:17:24,897
I only have one question for you.
318
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:27,522
Did you kill Mrs. Straupersson?
319
00:17:27,605 --> 00:17:28,938
Of course not!
320
00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:31,313
If I had, there'd be no body.
321
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:34,022
You'd all just think
she's on a long vacation.
322
00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:37,105
Well, what do you have to say
323
00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:39,522
to all these people
who think you got rid of her
324
00:17:39,605 --> 00:17:41,147
to avoid doing homework?
325
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:45,188
I'd say they're wrong...
Because I did the assignment.
326
00:17:46,772 --> 00:17:49,022
I'd like to enter this into evidence.
327
00:17:51,105 --> 00:17:52,605
Echo...
328
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,272
please mark this assignment
"Exhibit D"...
329
00:17:55,355 --> 00:17:56,605
minus.
330
00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:01,688
Why am I marking this assignment?
I'm not a kid teacher.
331
00:18:01,772 --> 00:18:06,313
Though that does sound like
the premise of a hilarious sitcom.
332
00:18:07,897 --> 00:18:10,647
If you really
did do your homework, then...
333
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:14,897
she should be able to answer
a few simple geography questions.
334
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:18,105
- Uh... sure.
- Question one.
335
00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:21,022
If Antarctica
is in the southern hemisphere,
336
00:18:21,105 --> 00:18:22,938
what's in the northern hemisphere?
337
00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:26,980
Uncle Arctica?
338
00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:28,688
Question two.
339
00:18:28,772 --> 00:18:31,563
In what country would you
find the Great Wall of China?
340
00:18:31,647 --> 00:18:33,438
Trick question!
341
00:18:33,522 --> 00:18:35,438
You would never make
a great wall out of china,
342
00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:39,397
because it would break easily
and probably not fit in the dishwasher.
343
00:18:40,397 --> 00:18:42,647
So she knew those ones.
344
00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:47,272
I've heard enough!
I'm ready to make my ruling.
345
00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:50,897
Wait! I have one more witness.
346
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,772
I call Mrs. Straupersson to the stand!
347
00:18:53,855 --> 00:18:55,480
What?
348
00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:58,272
[dramatic fanfare plays]
349
00:18:58,355 --> 00:19:01,105
[courtroom murmuring]
350
00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:04,772
That's right.
351
00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:06,522
Mrs. Straupersson is alive...
352
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:12,397
which means that there was no murder,
and my client is innocent.
353
00:19:13,397 --> 00:19:15,855
Well, I guess this becomes
an attempted-murder trial now.
354
00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:18,272
Ooh... That's a thing?
355
00:19:20,022 --> 00:19:23,647
Ivy, I'm afraid I have
no choice but to find you...
356
00:19:24,688 --> 00:19:25,772
guilty!
357
00:19:25,855 --> 00:19:28,272
This trial is over. You're free to gasp.
358
00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:31,855
[gasp]... [gasp]... [gasp]... [gasp]
359
00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:34,188
[gasp]... [gasp]
360
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,355
[all] Aaaaah!
361
00:19:37,772 --> 00:19:41,147
Ivy, as your punishment, you'll
have to stay after school for a month
362
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:44,022
and take care of
Finnegan's gaggle of pet crows.
363
00:19:44,105 --> 00:19:45,272
Take her away!
364
00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:48,063
No! Wait! I'm innocent!
365
00:19:48,147 --> 00:19:50,313
Well, I'm not innocent.
366
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,647
In fact, I have
kind of a reputation for...
367
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:56,063
The point is, I didn't do it!
368
00:19:58,772 --> 00:20:00,438
We have pet crows?
369
00:20:00,522 --> 00:20:01,938
Oh, yeah.
370
00:20:02,022 --> 00:20:03,706
And they're really vicious
when they're hungry.
371
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,480
And they're hungry all the time,
372
00:20:05,563 --> 00:20:08,647
because Mrs. Straupersson
always scares them away.
373
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:11,522
Man, do they hate her.
374
00:20:12,313 --> 00:20:16,022
Interestingly enough, a group of crows
is not called a "gaggle,"
375
00:20:16,105 --> 00:20:17,897
but rather a "murder" of crows.
376
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:21,147
A murder?
377
00:20:22,772 --> 00:20:25,272
I wonder why that is.
378
00:20:25,355 --> 00:20:29,022
Beats me. English is a funny language.
379
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:33,480
[ominous fanfare plays]
380
00:20:33,563 --> 00:20:35,230
[crow cawing]
381
00:20:37,063 --> 00:20:39,563
[snap, monitor flat-lining]
382
00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:45,938
[mellow theme music plays]
383
00:20:46,022 --> 00:20:49,355
[woman] ? All rise,
The court is in session ?
384
00:20:49,438 --> 00:20:50,813
[man] ? He's the youngest man ?
385
00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:52,605
? In his profession ?
386
00:20:52,688 --> 00:20:54,855
[woman] ? It's your turn to take a stand ?
387
00:20:54,938 --> 00:20:56,397
[man] ? The future's in ?
388
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,730
[both] ? The palm of his hand ?
389
00:20:58,813 --> 00:21:00,147
? You've been ?
390
00:21:00,230 --> 00:21:02,147
? Sentenced to fun ?
391
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,563
? He's Judge Young! ?
392
00:21:04,647 --> 00:21:05,772
[man] ? He'll never rest ?
393
00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:07,855
? From being tough on crime ?
394
00:21:07,938 --> 00:21:09,039
[woman] ? Unless it's past ?
395
00:21:09,063 --> 00:21:11,022
? His 9 p.m. bedtime ?
396
00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:12,147
[man] ? Holding court ?
397
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,772
? With grace and charm ?
398
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,272
[woman] ? Serving justice ?
399
00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:17,105
[both] ? With those lady-like arms ?
400
00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:18,230
? He can't drive ?
401
00:21:18,313 --> 00:21:20,188
? And has no need to shave ?
402
00:21:20,272 --> 00:21:21,472
? But he'll lay down the law ?
403
00:21:21,522 --> 00:21:23,313
? If you misbehave ?
404
00:21:23,397 --> 00:21:25,313
? You've been ?
405
00:21:25,397 --> 00:21:26,605
? Sentenced to fun ?
406
00:21:26,688 --> 00:21:29,605
? He's Judge Young! ?
407
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,605
? He's Judge Young! ?
408
00:21:31,688 --> 00:21:34,313
[Adam] Judge Young is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
409
00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:38,913
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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