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00:00:19,242 --> 00:00:24,242
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
M_I_SForEver
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00:01:17,317 --> 00:01:18,608
Before you say anything,
I'm not your brother.
3
00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:19,775
I'm your half-brother.
4
00:01:19,858 --> 00:01:21,108
What was that?
5
00:01:21,192 --> 00:01:23,108
Why would you begin
a conversation like that?
6
00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:25,150
Because you are about
to ask me for money,
7
00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:26,817
and when I always say,
"Why should I give you money?"
8
00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:29,567
you always say,
"Because I am your brother,"
9
00:01:29,650 --> 00:01:31,358
and I never point out
you are my half-brother.
10
00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:33,358
I never say it. But things
happening around here lately...
11
00:01:33,442 --> 00:01:36,192
Hi, Paxton. How are
your erratic head movements?
12
00:01:36,275 --> 00:01:37,817
I ask
because I read an article.
13
00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,275
Yeah, they're under control.
14
00:01:40,358 --> 00:01:44,150
How's the, uh,
cement art work?
15
00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:47,358
She just sold a piece
for $50,000.
16
00:01:47,442 --> 00:01:48,650
A frozen waterfall.
17
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,483
It felt appropriate
for the times.
18
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,483
How is it appropriate
for the times?
19
00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:53,983
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
20
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,608
I was actually calling
to see how you were.
21
00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,358
'Cause I heard
it's bad in New York.
22
00:01:58,442 --> 00:02:01,483
It is bad.
They canceled the NBA.
23
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:04,567
We heard London's
under total lockdown.
24
00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:07,233
I've been furloughed
by the way.
25
00:02:07,317 --> 00:02:08,817
- That's great!
- Yeah.
26
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:11,525
Now there is literally zero
purpose to my life.
27
00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:13,900
How is Linda?
28
00:02:13,983 --> 00:02:18,067
Yeah, she's somewhere
in the house.
29
00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,858
Is there
some type of issue?
30
00:02:19,942 --> 00:02:22,692
Is there an issue?
Let me see.
31
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,150
Convenient lie to avoid
forensic examination
32
00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,400
of our domestic circumstances
or tell the truth?
33
00:02:27,483 --> 00:02:28,775
Okay, convenient lie.
34
00:02:28,858 --> 00:02:31,650
No. There is no issue.
We are fine.
35
00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:33,067
Can you tell her
I'm gonna Skype her?
36
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:34,983
Also, David,
I've sold my motorbike.
37
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,192
You've what?
38
00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:37,525
Yeah, I have a buyer.
He'll pay me
39
00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:39,025
when we are all unlocked
40
00:02:39,108 --> 00:02:42,275
from this fucking prison
of psychological hell-chains.
41
00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:44,525
Fucking flames
of burning aloneness.
42
00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:46,400
The screw of isolation
until you can't tell
43
00:02:46,483 --> 00:02:48,983
what is your body
and what is furniture.
44
00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,733
No possibility
of revving the engine
45
00:02:50,817 --> 00:02:54,067
and riding away. Am I conveying
anything of my mood to you?
46
00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:56,525
Why have you sold your bike?
47
00:02:56,608 --> 00:02:58,150
You are your bike.
Your bike is you.
48
00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,192
Yeah, I have sold myself.
49
00:03:00,275 --> 00:03:03,233
I have sold my former self.
50
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,775
I felt sorry for the bike.
51
00:03:04,858 --> 00:03:07,900
It deserved someone who can do
justice to its spirit.
52
00:03:07,983 --> 00:03:11,567
Someone who still
breaks the fucking rules.
53
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,900
So, you and Linda, what,
you had a fight?
54
00:03:13,983 --> 00:03:17,942
Linda said she was planning
to end our thing,
55
00:03:18,025 --> 00:03:22,608
our relationship,
our whatever this ever was,
56
00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:24,108
because we'd grown apart,
57
00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:27,025
meaning that she had gone up
and I have gone down.
58
00:03:27,108 --> 00:03:29,608
She was planning to end it
before lockdown was announced.
59
00:03:31,025 --> 00:03:34,942
...droplets and moisture
because we were shouting.
60
00:03:35,025 --> 00:03:37,150
I said some things
and she said some things
61
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,192
and now
we are stuck here together
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00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:40,692
with the things we said
63
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:44,567
echoing around the house
like fucking bells ringing.
64
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,400
For two weeks
we are locked together here.
65
00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:56,275
Anyway. Truth be told,
I just wanted to hear someone's voice.
66
00:03:56,358 --> 00:03:59,525
- And you chose us?
- Yeah, why not?
67
00:03:59,608 --> 00:04:01,108
What happened to Mike?
Your friend Mike.
68
00:04:01,192 --> 00:04:03,983
Oh, no, no. Mike and I
are no longer speaking.
69
00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,692
He crossed...
My delivery!
70
00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:09,192
Crossed an important threshold
when, uh, when he said that
71
00:04:09,275 --> 00:04:11,400
the COVID virus
was the consequence
72
00:04:11,483 --> 00:04:15,483
of the secret release by Jews
of alien DNA
73
00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,942
into the
water sprinkling system
74
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,358
of a Chinese golf resort.
75
00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:22,192
It looks like
your food has arrived,
76
00:04:22,275 --> 00:04:24,483
- so we'll let you go.
- It's not food, it's a sandwich.
77
00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,317
Yeah, hang in, brother.
78
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,483
- Half-brother.
- Tell Linda I'm gonna call her.
79
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,150
Yeah, I'll leave her a note.
Just to compound the oddness.
80
00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:35,525
The stark reality
of fighting Coronavirus...
81
00:04:40,858 --> 00:04:44,067
...Trafalgar Square in London
usually crowded.
82
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,983
Evidence of social distancing
in action.
83
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,983
In this critically
important time,
84
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:52,442
the Prime Minister
Boris Johnson himself infected,
85
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:53,442
but been sharing...
86
00:05:14,983 --> 00:05:17,567
Maria, hey!
Is everything okay?
87
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,317
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Everything's great.
88
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,567
You know, we're staying strong.
Yeah, we just talked to Paxton.
89
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:25,692
Hmm. Yes, I head. Some of it.
I put a pillow over my head.
90
00:05:25,775 --> 00:05:28,192
He said you had symptoms.
91
00:05:28,275 --> 00:05:31,358
It passed I think. I hope.
I don't know.
92
00:05:31,442 --> 00:05:34,942
Oh, green smoothie.
You must send me that recipe.
93
00:05:35,025 --> 00:05:36,567
It's not a recipe,
it's an action.
94
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:39,400
You just put the green stuff in
and press the on button.
95
00:05:39,483 --> 00:05:41,192
How are things
with you and Paxton?
96
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:42,442
Is everything okay?
97
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:46,192
You know
everything is not okay.
98
00:05:46,275 --> 00:05:48,067
Not only
is everything not okay,
99
00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:49,525
nothing is okay.
100
00:05:49,608 --> 00:05:51,733
Everything is never okay.
Even his name is not okay.
101
00:05:51,817 --> 00:05:55,275
This is him speaking. He says even
his name is a predictor of doom.
102
00:05:55,358 --> 00:05:57,025
That's how he is lately.
103
00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:00,483
He's changed so much.
104
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,900
Oh, we all change.
105
00:06:01,983 --> 00:06:04,108
I mean, Linda, you've evolved,
he's mutated.
106
00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:05,900
He needs some help.
107
00:06:05,983 --> 00:06:07,608
- I read an article...
- Do you know he said the other day
108
00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:10,775
that any man over 35
who rides a bus is a failure?
109
00:06:10,858 --> 00:06:13,317
He rides the bus every day. Or he used to.
110
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,233
- He does it to torture himself.
- No man is ever really fully conscious, not really.
111
00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:18,108
So, I heard
he's selling his motorbike.
112
00:06:18,192 --> 00:06:19,483
That's a big step.
113
00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:21,358
Yeah, we both agreed
that he needed some time,
114
00:06:21,442 --> 00:06:23,442
so he's planning on using
the money from selling the bike
115
00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:25,275
to go to Kazakhstan
to think about his life.
116
00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:26,942
Why Kazakhstan?
117
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:31,817
We went on a road trip there
ten years ago.
118
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:34,108
Ten years ago?
A million years ago.
119
00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:37,775
Anyway, now he is stuck here,
and I am stuck here.
120
00:06:37,858 --> 00:06:41,275
- Linda, is there someone else?
- Nope, just me and him.
121
00:06:41,358 --> 00:06:43,692
No, I mean, like,
another man.
122
00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,817
- No.
- A woman?
123
00:06:46,942 --> 00:06:47,983
What?
124
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,192
I was just speculating.
125
00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:53,108
Thinking about that night we came to
London and you and I went too far.
126
00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:57,442
Oh, that was just weed
and curiosity.
127
00:06:57,525 --> 00:06:59,483
We both had orgasms, Linda.
128
00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:01,983
You know they say these calls
aren't really the most secure.
129
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,192
I think
about that night sometimes.
130
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:06,233
- You do?
- Yeah, don't you?
131
00:07:06,317 --> 00:07:09,400
Mmm... Listen, Maria,
I've been on Skype and Zoom calls all day.
132
00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:11,817
The office is locked down.
I really gotta get some sleep.
133
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,567
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
134
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,525
- I love you.
- What?
135
00:07:23,525 --> 00:07:24,983
God.
136
00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:40,442
Paxton, are you
going somewhere?
137
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,942
Where would I be going?
138
00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:45,358
Why is the hose
in your exhaust?
139
00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:48,942
I was just gonna
take a selfie.
140
00:07:49,025 --> 00:07:51,025
Someone at work texted me
and asked how I was
141
00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:52,275
coping with lockdown.
142
00:07:52,358 --> 00:07:53,858
So I was gonna send
a photo of myself
143
00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:56,067
with the hose shoved
up my helmet by way of reply.
144
00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:58,275
I thought it'd be funny.
145
00:07:58,358 --> 00:08:00,942
An amusing expression
of despair.
146
00:08:01,025 --> 00:08:03,567
You were really
just gonna take a selfie?
147
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,275
Yeah, I had the phone
in my hand.
148
00:08:05,358 --> 00:08:06,692
You weren't gonna
start the engine?
149
00:08:06,775 --> 00:08:08,650
And go where?
You can't go anywhere.
150
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,400
I came in here and I could
smell the garage and the bike.
151
00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:20,358
And the smell...
it made me very sad for some reason.
152
00:08:20,442 --> 00:08:24,150
That shelf's covered in oil,
you're gonna get your ass covered in oil.
153
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:26,608
- Jesus, what a day!
- Bad?
154
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,483
No, just work.
I had some bad news.
155
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:33,192
Nothing compared
to... everything.
156
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:35,358
I really was just gonna
take a selfie, by the way.
157
00:08:35,442 --> 00:08:37,817
"By the way," "just so you know,"
"in case you were worried."
158
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:40,358
Just... just a little game.
159
00:08:41,775 --> 00:08:43,192
Or a rehearsal.
160
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:48,067
I'm not... Please don't think
I'm looking for anything.
161
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:50,733
You know Maria just called me
and said that she loves me?
162
00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:52,067
- What?
- I know.
163
00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:53,650
Secrets coming out
all over the place.
164
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,192
You got the key
to get back in?
165
00:08:55,275 --> 00:08:57,608
- No.
- I'll leave the door open for you.
166
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:20,983
What's wrong?
167
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:27,442
You playing
with the hoses and exhausts
168
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,150
and we carry on
as if everything was normal.
169
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:35,192
I'm not normal lately,
I know that.
170
00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:40,025
I haven't been
sleeping at all.
171
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,775
I've never been normal, but...
172
00:09:43,858 --> 00:09:46,025
I used to be quite proud of it.
Now, I just...
173
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,942
- Just what?
- I don't know.
174
00:09:49,025 --> 00:09:53,067
I'm just acutely aware
of the inconvenience it causes.
175
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,858
My super analysis
of every grain of sand.
176
00:09:56,525 --> 00:09:57,983
Every word.
177
00:09:59,317 --> 00:10:02,483
Being locked up
is making it worse.
178
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,983
We have to find some way of
getting through this separately.
179
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,942
We're only together because
we're in the same house.
180
00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:11,108
We can sort of move around
each other until we're free...
181
00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:13,275
- What? What is it?
- Oh, nothing.
182
00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:15,817
Good night.
183
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,442
It's a bit of
Christmas decoration.
184
00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,858
It's been there
since Christmas.
185
00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:21,983
My therapist says
I should try to tolerate it.
186
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,650
To use it as a test.
187
00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:25,108
Up until now, I've been able
to live with it,
188
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,025
as a test
to prove my progress.
189
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,025
Well, fuck progress.
190
00:10:29,108 --> 00:10:31,233
- Why don't you take it down?
- No, my therapist says...
191
00:10:31,317 --> 00:10:34,442
- Fuck the therapist. Paxton...
- You almost did.
192
00:10:34,525 --> 00:10:35,983
Grow up. Take it down.
193
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,608
If it bothers you,
take it down, okay?
194
00:10:37,692 --> 00:10:39,858
Christmas is not exactly
a great memory anyway, is it?
195
00:10:39,942 --> 00:10:42,192
Christmas is not a great memory.
I agree with you.
196
00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:45,442
Beginning of the end for us,
don't you think?
197
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,233
That was way before Christmas
for me.
198
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,442
Sorry.
199
00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:54,692
Why do people think
honesty is good?
200
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,775
What are you doing
about therapy anyway?
201
00:11:00,858 --> 00:11:02,608
I'm doing it on Zoom.
202
00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:05,025
My therapist has antlers on his wall.
203
00:11:05,108 --> 00:11:07,233
These are extraordinary
circumstances, Paxton.
204
00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,900
You can't live with a woman
who has dumped you
205
00:11:08,983 --> 00:11:10,733
and a piece of tinsel
on the ceiling.
206
00:11:10,817 --> 00:11:13,483
- Have we decided to laugh about all this?
- Why not?
207
00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,067
Nothing else we can do
there, is there?
208
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,317
Do you want a chair?
209
00:11:17,317 --> 00:11:18,817
Sure.
210
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,400
Bravo.
211
00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:30,483
- Fuck! That's better.
- Hang on.
212
00:11:37,358 --> 00:11:40,025
You know, when I saw you
in the garage I thought...
213
00:11:41,817 --> 00:11:45,025
"Was it really me on the back of
your bike all those years ago?"
214
00:11:46,525 --> 00:11:47,858
Yeah, it was you.
215
00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:51,775
Hanging on and screaming.
216
00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:55,400
Well, that's what
I'm doing now.
217
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,067
Hanging on and screaming,
but you can't hear me.
218
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,025
Nobody can.
Anyway, good night.
219
00:12:00,442 --> 00:12:02,608
Screaming about what?
220
00:12:02,692 --> 00:12:06,983
What are you screaming about?
I'm the one that's screaming!
221
00:12:24,358 --> 00:12:25,442
Hello, stranger!
222
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:30,858
- Hi.
- How are you?
223
00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:34,025
Terrible. You?
224
00:12:34,483 --> 00:12:35,608
Awful.
225
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:43,608
Hello!
226
00:12:43,692 --> 00:12:47,525
Does anyone here in our lovely Portland
Street prison want to hear a little poem?
227
00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:50,525
I read a lot of poetry
228
00:12:50,608 --> 00:12:53,858
and I've read even more lately
'cause I can't sleep.
229
00:12:53,942 --> 00:12:55,775
It's actually quite a nice way
to discover
230
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:58,150
that you're not the only human
being on earth who's fucked up.
231
00:12:58,233 --> 00:12:59,400
Paxton!
232
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,483
What the fuck
are you doing?
233
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,775
I'm entertaining
our fellow inmates.
234
00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:08,817
This poem
is called Stand Up!
235
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,692
It's by D.H. Lawrence,
by the way.
236
00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:12,733
"By the way," "just so you know,"
"in case you were worried."
237
00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:16,567
All right, here goes.
238
00:13:17,525 --> 00:13:20,608
"Stand up,
but not for Jesus!
239
00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:23,483
It's a little late for that.
240
00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:26,025
Stand up for justice
and a jolly life.
241
00:13:26,108 --> 00:13:27,650
I'll hold your hat.
242
00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:32,608
Stand up, stand up for justice,
ye swindled little blokes!
243
00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:37,025
Stand up and do some punching,
give 'em a few hard pokes.
244
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:42,608
Stand up for a new arrangement
for a chance of life all round,
245
00:13:43,817 --> 00:13:46,775
for freedom
and the fun of living,
246
00:13:46,858 --> 00:13:49,275
break in,
and hold the ground!"
247
00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:55,317
Thank you.
248
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,733
Sorry if I woke you.
249
00:13:57,817 --> 00:14:00,317
But I am going
slightly mad lately.
250
00:14:01,442 --> 00:14:04,317
My advice to everyone
251
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,067
is to use these strange
times we're all going through
252
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:10,192
to steal all the things
that you think life owes you.
253
00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:11,900
Go to sleep,
you bloody tosser!
254
00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:13,483
Yeah, well, if I could
I would.
255
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,150
Hey, leave him be, mate!
256
00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:17,983
And if I come across any other
good poems, I'll share it.
257
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,733
We love it!
258
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,108
Good night, Portland Street.
259
00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:22,525
Night, night!
260
00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:24,025
Thank you!
261
00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:41,025
God, please let me sleep.
262
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,483
I swear to God!
263
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,025
What the fuck are you doing
in my garden?
264
00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:06,775
You all right?
265
00:15:06,858 --> 00:15:09,525
- We're just gathering these.
- They're just poppies.
266
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,067
They're bulbs of poppies.
267
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:12,900
All the dealers in our estate
have been arrested,
268
00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:16,192
because they're the only people
out on the streets, innit?
269
00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:19,567
With these poppy bulbs,
you can make a sort of opium.
270
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:21,650
You just slit the skins
and juice comes out.
271
00:15:22,650 --> 00:15:23,983
How did you know
they were here?
272
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:26,608
We live in that tower block
up there, bro.
273
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,400
Friend of ours has a telescope.
He's into stars and shit.
274
00:15:29,483 --> 00:15:31,650
We've been looking down
on houses for a laugh.
275
00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:35,567
Looking through windows and then we
saw all these growing in your garden.
276
00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:38,192
What the fuck are they all
doing growing in my garden?
277
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:41,150
I think hippies used to
squat in these houses in the '70s.
278
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,942
I think they grew them
and they just went wild.
279
00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,775
How do you refine
the juice?
280
00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:48,775
You don't. You just drip it
onto tobacco and then smoke it.
281
00:15:48,858 --> 00:15:51,650
Or you can mix it with Coca-Cola
if you want and drink it.
282
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:55,192
Yeah, well, I don't smoke
anymore or drink Coca-Cola,
283
00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,483
or do drugs of any kind,
284
00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:02,692
but back in the bad old days I
did smoke quite a lot of heroin.
285
00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:04,275
This is not
as strong as heroin.
286
00:16:04,358 --> 00:16:06,858
It's quite a gentle hit.
287
00:16:06,942 --> 00:16:08,275
- It's organic, bro.
- Organic?
288
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:09,900
Yeah.
289
00:16:09,983 --> 00:16:12,483
That would explain
the hedgehog.
290
00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:17,317
There's a hedgehog in this garden
who is unusually friendly and relaxed.
291
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:27,525
Would a very small amount
help you sleep, do you think?
292
00:16:27,608 --> 00:16:30,650
You sleep like a baby.
Smooths everything out.
293
00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:33,775
- No mean voices in the night.
- No mean voices in the night.
294
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:37,275
That would be nice.
Well, well, well.
295
00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:19,483
Paxton!
296
00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:41,483
Paxton, for fuck's sake!
297
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,192
Hey, Toby!
298
00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,983
- Hi.
- Hey, how's the cough?
299
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:11,942
A bit better I think.
How are you?
300
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,900
I had it I think,
but it's passed.
301
00:18:13,983 --> 00:18:16,358
I hope.
It's like a Valkyrie.
302
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,358
What?
303
00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:20,442
It's a Viking spirit who,
before battles, decides
304
00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:22,900
who will live
and who will die.
305
00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:27,983
Valkyries, uh,
make their choices with no reason.
306
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,733
No morality,
no good or bad.
307
00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:33,650
It's just so unfair how some
people get so sick and some don't.
308
00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:36,567
Toby, you're back.
How are you?
309
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,525
Gangster. Thank you.
310
00:18:38,608 --> 00:18:41,275
- Hello!
- Donald!
311
00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:43,650
You got a tie on.
312
00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:45,317
One of my father's old ones.
313
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,733
I've become nostalgic
for old-fashioned formality.
314
00:18:48,817 --> 00:18:52,775
On these Zoom things, I always
imagine every man has an erection.
315
00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:54,067
Ooh!
316
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,817
Donald, is that
your house?
317
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:59,983
Uh, no. I'm at my mother's.
Anthony threw me out.
318
00:19:01,942 --> 00:19:06,192
Oh! That's not allowed,
is it?
319
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:09,900
We had an awful night,
and everything came out.
320
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,483
We found out we, uh,
hate each other. So...
321
00:19:13,858 --> 00:19:15,483
Hi!
322
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:20,025
Uh, Melissa. Hey, how is Italy?
I hear it's bad there.
323
00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,692
No, I'm in Sweden.
324
00:19:22,817 --> 00:19:24,900
- What?
- Look.
325
00:19:26,108 --> 00:19:27,733
You can go to bars here.
326
00:19:27,817 --> 00:19:30,775
Hmm. Is anybody
obeying the rules?
327
00:19:44,108 --> 00:19:47,150
After ten years sober,
that was fucking smart.
328
00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:53,400
Wait, who are we waiting for?
329
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:56,858
- Timothy, I think.
- Oh, is Timothy okay?
330
00:19:56,942 --> 00:19:58,525
Why wouldn't he be?
331
00:19:58,608 --> 00:20:00,900
Well, he's got an
underlying health condition.
332
00:20:00,983 --> 00:20:02,900
- Do you know which one?
- No.
333
00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,400
He just seemed
like a sort of person
334
00:20:04,483 --> 00:20:06,400
who would have
an underlying health condition.
335
00:20:06,483 --> 00:20:08,692
Shall we just start
without Timothy?
336
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:12,567
By the way,
I am also wearing shoes.
337
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:14,275
Seriously, we should start.
338
00:20:14,358 --> 00:20:17,608
I have something to say.
Something important.
339
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:23,275
Oh, um, hang on.
Oh, it's a message from Timothy.
340
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:29,650
- God!
- Has he got it?
341
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:31,442
"Dear, Linda.
As of 9:00 a.m. this morning,
342
00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:33,192
I am resigning my position
at Miracore Media
343
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,817
with immediate effect.
I have had time alone to think
344
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,608
and I've realized
that what this company does
345
00:20:37,692 --> 00:20:39,442
is just self-indulgent
media bullshit,
346
00:20:39,525 --> 00:20:42,108
supporting corrosive international
capitalism around the world.
347
00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:44,692
We should be using our
creativity to save the planet,
348
00:20:44,775 --> 00:20:48,275
not sell handbags to the
wives of fascist dictators.
349
00:20:48,358 --> 00:20:50,942
Yours in isolation. Timothy."
350
00:20:51,025 --> 00:20:56,400
Just been watching David Attenborough
documentaries, I imagine.
351
00:20:56,483 --> 00:20:57,692
Did he snap?
352
00:20:57,775 --> 00:20:59,567
Okay, so there's no need
to wait for Timothy.
353
00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:01,692
Let's get this done.
354
00:21:01,775 --> 00:21:03,650
Sounds awfully grave, Linda.
355
00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:06,650
- Daddy, Daddy.
- Shh. Daddy's on a call.
356
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:14,108
Yesterday, I had a very long Zoom
call with head office in Chicago.
357
00:21:14,192 --> 00:21:16,817
All continents
were represented.
358
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,775
And it seems
that all over the world
359
00:21:18,858 --> 00:21:21,983
the company is facing the same
issues at this difficult time.
360
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:25,358
As CEO of Miracore UK,
it is my...
361
00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:29,483
unfortunate duty
to let you know
362
00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:33,192
that there will be some furloughing
of employees across the board.
363
00:21:34,608 --> 00:21:36,858
And also a number
of compulsory redundancies
364
00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:39,608
effective from today.
365
00:21:39,692 --> 00:21:46,817
I assume the Inuit system of leaving
the old on the ice will be in play.
366
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:49,775
Donald, please don't jump
to conclusions.
367
00:21:49,858 --> 00:21:51,650
Linda, what do you mean?
368
00:21:51,733 --> 00:21:54,442
Uh, in normal times, I would've
gathered everyone into a room...
369
00:21:54,525 --> 00:21:56,442
Everyone?
370
00:22:00,775 --> 00:22:02,692
Everyone on this Zoom call
is on this call
371
00:22:02,775 --> 00:22:05,317
because all of your positions have
been deemed no longer sustainable,
372
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,150
and as of today your contracts of employment
with Miracore will be terminated.
373
00:22:12,775 --> 00:22:13,775
Okay.
374
00:22:13,858 --> 00:22:15,692
I'm glad I'm home.
375
00:22:15,775 --> 00:22:17,775
I'm going to feed
the fucking chickens.
376
00:22:19,317 --> 00:22:21,983
This is really bad, Linda.
How do you sleep?
377
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,733
Hello!
378
00:22:25,983 --> 00:22:27,900
Hello.
379
00:22:27,983 --> 00:22:30,233
Look at my dinosaur.
380
00:22:35,108 --> 00:22:36,692
Daddy...
381
00:22:37,692 --> 00:22:39,192
Malcolm, I thought
being furloughed
382
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,067
meant that the government
pays your wages,
383
00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:42,525
but you don't do any work.
384
00:22:42,608 --> 00:22:44,108
Yeah, it does,
it does, it does.
385
00:22:44,192 --> 00:22:45,525
But COVID
makes everything different.
386
00:22:45,608 --> 00:22:47,442
So sad. So sad.
387
00:22:47,525 --> 00:22:51,108
All of this is impacting on
everyone in my pastoral care.
388
00:22:51,192 --> 00:22:53,400
Yeah, but I'm not in
your pastoral care, right?
389
00:22:53,483 --> 00:22:54,983
I work for you.
390
00:22:55,067 --> 00:22:56,567
And all I wanna know is,
391
00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:59,192
if I am furloughed,
why are you asking me to work?
392
00:22:59,275 --> 00:23:00,317
It's illegal, isn't it?
393
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,525
I'm a Christian man.
394
00:23:01,608 --> 00:23:03,400
We all know that you are
a Christian man.
395
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,317
You say it like I ram it
down your throats.
396
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,192
I do not ram it down
your fucking throat.
397
00:23:07,275 --> 00:23:10,192
Malcolm, just tell me,
what is it that you want me to do?
398
00:23:10,275 --> 00:23:11,858
We have a situation, Paxton.
399
00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:14,025
Yeah, I'm leaving this call
unless you tell me.
400
00:23:14,108 --> 00:23:15,317
I sat through your prayer.
401
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,108
I begin every FaceTime
with a prayer.
402
00:23:17,192 --> 00:23:19,108
My choice. Right?
I'm the boss.
403
00:23:19,192 --> 00:23:22,442
Yeah, you are the boss.
So what do you want me to do, boss?
404
00:23:22,525 --> 00:23:25,775
Due to lockdown, all the major department
stores in the West End are closing.
405
00:23:25,858 --> 00:23:28,650
B2B Pro Freight Services are
among several freight companies
406
00:23:28,733 --> 00:23:33,650
which have been asked to transport valuable
retail items from the West End outlets
407
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:37,483
to secure storage facilities
in shitholes like Dagenham.
408
00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:41,025
The fabric, Paxton,
of our society is torn, you see that.
409
00:23:41,108 --> 00:23:45,358
Fears of rioting and looting.
Pestilence. Apocalyptic words.
410
00:23:45,442 --> 00:23:48,192
I'm giving you ten seconds to tell
me what it is you want me to do.
411
00:23:48,275 --> 00:23:51,108
- Ten, nine, eight...
- Because of this crisis, we urgently need drivers.
412
00:23:51,192 --> 00:23:53,317
- Drivers like you.
- ...seven, six, five...
413
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,775
Department stores only allow their
goods to be transported by drivers
414
00:23:55,858 --> 00:23:58,900
- who do not have criminal records.
- ...three, two...
415
00:23:59,817 --> 00:24:01,358
I repeat.
416
00:24:01,442 --> 00:24:04,983
B2B Pro Freight Services
have urgent need for drivers
417
00:24:05,067 --> 00:24:09,108
registered to us who do not
have criminal records.
418
00:24:09,192 --> 00:24:11,150
So why are you
talking to me?
419
00:24:11,233 --> 00:24:13,983
I have contracts to carry
valuables from 16 department stores
420
00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:17,650
across London, and they all want
everything out in the next four days.
421
00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:19,983
And I only have
two fucking drivers.
422
00:24:20,067 --> 00:24:21,442
So what's your solution?
423
00:24:21,525 --> 00:24:25,358
Deception. Forgiveness.
Redemption. Bunce.
424
00:24:25,442 --> 00:24:26,775
What the fuck is bunce?
425
00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:28,692
Old East End word
for cash, Paxton,
426
00:24:28,775 --> 00:24:30,483
in return
for grand deception.
427
00:24:30,567 --> 00:24:33,192
Facilitated by my forgiveness
and your redemption.
428
00:24:33,275 --> 00:24:34,858
All right, get there.
Get there, Malcolm.
429
00:24:34,942 --> 00:24:37,275
I've printed off an ID
with a security level A2.
430
00:24:37,358 --> 00:24:39,400
Clean. With your photo on it
and a name.
431
00:24:39,483 --> 00:24:41,483
It is not your name.
432
00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:43,108
I can't officially take you off
furlough and give you this work,
433
00:24:43,192 --> 00:24:45,317
because you used to be
a bike slag,
434
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,650
so I will have to pretend you are
someone else and pay you in cash.
435
00:24:47,733 --> 00:24:50,067
You've worked for this company
as a driver for seven years.
436
00:24:50,150 --> 00:24:51,692
And I have never had
a single complaint.
437
00:24:51,775 --> 00:24:53,733
You've only ever driven
low value packages,
438
00:24:53,817 --> 00:24:56,483
but I believe you are a man
who can be trusted.
439
00:24:58,942 --> 00:25:00,317
That I am.
440
00:25:01,775 --> 00:25:03,817
Yeah, I can be trusted.
441
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:05,650
I mean, what happened
was a long time ago.
442
00:25:05,733 --> 00:25:06,900
Yeah, I don't wanna to know.
443
00:25:06,983 --> 00:25:08,775
No, it was biker versus biker.
444
00:25:08,858 --> 00:25:11,733
The Lord forgives.
B2B Pro Freight Services forgives.
445
00:25:11,817 --> 00:25:13,567
If it wasn't for the fucking
convictions from that night,
446
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:15,400
my whole life would've been
radically different.
447
00:25:15,483 --> 00:25:17,317
Two hundred a day in cash.
448
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,483
I don't care about the cash.
I wanna make a deal with you, Malcolm.
449
00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,525
Look, I will do this
on the condition
450
00:25:22,608 --> 00:25:25,442
that when this is all over, you will
consider me for a clerical position.
451
00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:27,150
My entire life
has been fucked up
452
00:25:27,233 --> 00:25:28,900
because of things I did
on one night.
453
00:25:28,983 --> 00:25:30,400
My wife...
454
00:25:30,483 --> 00:25:32,192
My wife has grown out of me,
455
00:25:32,275 --> 00:25:35,067
because I am still Mr. Fuck-All
behind the wheel of a van.
456
00:25:35,150 --> 00:25:36,650
I am not stupid.
457
00:25:36,733 --> 00:25:37,733
I read poetry.
458
00:25:37,817 --> 00:25:38,900
I could be someone.
459
00:25:38,983 --> 00:25:40,567
I've got another call,
Paxton.
460
00:25:40,650 --> 00:25:42,192
It is a very busy time,
the West End is going mad.
461
00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:43,483
Will you do it?
462
00:25:43,567 --> 00:25:44,858
All right, if I do this
for you, Malcolm,
463
00:25:44,942 --> 00:25:47,192
I want you to practice
what you preach.
464
00:25:47,275 --> 00:25:50,608
About forgiveness,
and lost sheep and redemption,
465
00:25:50,692 --> 00:25:53,108
all of it, and give me
a chance to come off the road.
466
00:25:53,192 --> 00:25:54,817
Everything
is possible, Paxton.
467
00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:56,817
God bless you.
468
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,775
Selfridges, Thursday. Harvey
Nichols, Friday. Harrods on Saturday.
469
00:25:58,858 --> 00:26:00,608
- Right, yeah.
- I will e-mail your full itinerary
470
00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:02,108
and your new identity.
471
00:26:02,192 --> 00:26:05,025
Okay, okay. And after...
After Harrods on Saturday...
472
00:26:05,108 --> 00:26:06,733
God bless you, Paxton.
473
00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:15,442
Shit.
474
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:51,817
Hey, Linda,
how's lockdown?
475
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:54,150
It's pretty bad.
476
00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:55,650
How's Chicago?
477
00:26:56,358 --> 00:26:57,650
I'm in Vermont.
478
00:26:57,733 --> 00:26:59,733
Yeah, moved the family
out to Vermont.
479
00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:03,317
We're all here crazy happy.
480
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,150
Kids make a lot of noise,
so I got these new AirPods Pro.
481
00:27:07,233 --> 00:27:10,525
Noise canceling. They work, like,
you literally can't hear anything.
482
00:27:10,608 --> 00:27:12,317
No, I don't have those.
483
00:27:13,275 --> 00:27:15,317
I can see in your face
484
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,442
that you, uh, spoke to the guys at
Events and delivered the update.
485
00:27:18,525 --> 00:27:21,650
Update. Yeah.
Yeah, I updated them.
486
00:27:21,733 --> 00:27:24,192
Did you read them my message?
487
00:27:25,775 --> 00:27:27,692
The stuff
about the Miracore family?
488
00:27:27,775 --> 00:27:31,275
No, no, no, I didn't think
that would translate. Um...
489
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:36,483
Linda, I wrote that message from the heart.
I really meant what I said.
490
00:27:36,567 --> 00:27:38,567
I can't believe you didn't
read it out to them.
491
00:27:38,650 --> 00:27:41,567
I didn't think it was appropriate
to say that "Miracore is a family
492
00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:43,442
and there comes a time
in every family's life
493
00:27:43,525 --> 00:27:46,275
when it's best if some family
members fly the nest."
494
00:27:47,525 --> 00:27:49,025
Why is that not appropriate?
495
00:27:49,150 --> 00:27:50,650
Because they're not
flying the nest, are they?
496
00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:53,317
They're being
thrown out of the nest
497
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,900
into the long grass
under the tree.
498
00:27:54,983 --> 00:27:56,900
There's no tree.
What tree?
499
00:27:56,983 --> 00:27:59,400
It's your nest, Guy.
You came up with the analogy of the nest.
500
00:27:59,483 --> 00:28:01,108
So there has to be a tree.
501
00:28:01,192 --> 00:28:02,733
Do you have
a temperature, Linda?
502
00:28:04,650 --> 00:28:07,817
Um, there are two big events which were
already set up when lockdown began.
503
00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:09,567
One was at Westfield,
504
00:28:09,650 --> 00:28:11,483
the other one was the Eve Schwarz
store takeover at Harrods.
505
00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:13,400
But both Westfield and Harrods
have closed their door.
506
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,692
I love Harrods.
507
00:28:14,775 --> 00:28:16,567
Yeah, I love Harrods, too.
508
00:28:16,650 --> 00:28:18,692
I worked there for five years,
they were the happiest of my life.
509
00:28:18,775 --> 00:28:20,733
Anyway, the launch of Eve Schwarz
collection was going to be huge,
510
00:28:20,817 --> 00:28:23,733
so I chose Harrods because of
its size and level of security.
511
00:28:23,817 --> 00:28:26,692
You chose? I thought Melissa
was head of events strategy.
512
00:28:26,775 --> 00:28:30,400
Yeah. Sometimes I questioned
her... It doesn't matter.
513
00:28:30,483 --> 00:28:33,733
You've been carrying that
department a long time.
514
00:28:33,817 --> 00:28:36,275
Yeah, well, they were family,
weren't they?
515
00:28:36,358 --> 00:28:38,275
And that's what
you do with family.
516
00:28:38,358 --> 00:28:40,233
You carry them until you get a
direction from Chicago to drop them,
517
00:28:40,317 --> 00:28:42,108
and then
you dutifully drop them.
518
00:28:42,192 --> 00:28:44,275
Anyway, at Harrods, we have five
million dollars worth of jewelry,
519
00:28:44,358 --> 00:28:46,608
clothing and accessories already
installed for the catwalk
520
00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:49,150
and store takeover
under Miracore liability.
521
00:28:49,233 --> 00:28:50,733
And that includes
the Harris Diamond
522
00:28:50,817 --> 00:28:52,775
which was to be
the centerpiece of the show.
523
00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:56,108
The Harris Diamond is under
our insurance liability?
524
00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:57,525
It's, um...
525
00:28:57,608 --> 00:29:01,650
It's safe in the Harrods'
secure vault, but, yes.
526
00:29:04,233 --> 00:29:07,483
I suggested to the people
at Eve Schwarz
527
00:29:07,567 --> 00:29:10,192
that we put everything into Harrods'
secure storage as quickly as possible
528
00:29:10,275 --> 00:29:12,025
until this, um...
529
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,483
Uh, until this situation
is ended.
530
00:29:14,567 --> 00:29:17,275
But we have a problem
with insurance. You see...
531
00:29:19,150 --> 00:29:21,150
Uh...
532
00:29:21,233 --> 00:29:23,983
So, Eve Schwarz's
insurance policy
533
00:29:24,067 --> 00:29:25,817
means that they are not allowed
to store their merchandise
534
00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:27,650
except under their own
corporate supervision.
535
00:29:27,733 --> 00:29:29,483
So the merchandise
536
00:29:29,567 --> 00:29:31,775
will have to be taken out of the
store in secure transportation.
537
00:29:33,067 --> 00:29:35,108
Anyway, the stores
are allocating for collection.
538
00:29:35,192 --> 00:29:38,317
We have Westfield on Friday,
Harrods on Saturday.
539
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,108
And then we discuss
your role and your salary.
540
00:29:41,192 --> 00:29:44,275
There'll be a lot of new responsibilities.
541
00:29:44,358 --> 00:29:50,067
- Things are changing.
- That's excellent news. Thank you.
542
00:29:50,150 --> 00:29:52,067
Say hello to London.
543
00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:54,733
- Enjoy Vermont.
- You bet.
544
00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,192
What? Oh, fuck! Quinn!
545
00:30:09,233 --> 00:30:11,650
I'm going to the land of the Walking Dead
546
00:30:11,733 --> 00:30:12,608
to buy some milk.
547
00:30:12,692 --> 00:30:14,025
Do we need anything else?
548
00:30:15,817 --> 00:30:19,692
I say the word "we" without any
attempt to suggest a unified entity,
549
00:30:19,775 --> 00:30:23,400
but there's no point in us both going
separately to get our own provisions.
550
00:30:24,733 --> 00:30:26,192
It's getting rough
out there.
551
00:30:26,275 --> 00:30:27,775
And increasingly, I think
552
00:30:27,858 --> 00:30:29,733
people like me who have
spent time in real prison
553
00:30:29,817 --> 00:30:31,400
are thriving
in this new reality.
554
00:30:31,483 --> 00:30:34,067
Oh, you know what, Paxton,
fuck it. Come in.
555
00:30:36,358 --> 00:30:41,733
All right, Paxton, here it is.
In addition to milk, I need cigarettes.
556
00:30:44,525 --> 00:30:47,192
- What?
- I was trying to hide that I'm smoking again,
557
00:30:47,275 --> 00:30:50,567
but since we're no longer together,
it doesn't really matter, does it?
558
00:30:50,650 --> 00:30:52,233
You are smoking?
559
00:30:52,317 --> 00:30:55,067
Yes. I plan to carry on
just until this thing is over.
560
00:30:55,150 --> 00:30:57,900
It's magnificent, actually.
561
00:30:57,983 --> 00:30:59,942
And when did you
start smoking again?
562
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,108
Just before Christmas.
563
00:31:02,775 --> 00:31:04,275
Why?
564
00:31:04,358 --> 00:31:07,775
I started smoking again
when I went to Paris.
565
00:31:07,858 --> 00:31:09,400
- You went to Paris?
- Yes, I went to Paris.
566
00:31:09,483 --> 00:31:10,817
I didn't tell you
I went to Paris.
567
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:13,025
Michael Essien invited me
to Paris and I went.
568
00:31:13,108 --> 00:31:14,817
Okay, my therapist
569
00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:18,192
identifies these moments
as confession avalanche.
570
00:31:20,858 --> 00:31:22,525
Who the fuck
is Michael Essien?
571
00:31:22,608 --> 00:31:23,817
He is the founder
of Miracore,
572
00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:25,442
seventh wealthiest man
in Germany.
573
00:31:25,525 --> 00:31:28,108
- And you went to Paris with him?
- Not quite.
574
00:31:28,192 --> 00:31:30,358
He invited the CEOs
from six countries
575
00:31:30,442 --> 00:31:32,650
to come to Paris for his
60th birthday celebration.
576
00:31:32,733 --> 00:31:34,775
Do you mind if I light this thing?
I've put it out twi...
577
00:31:34,858 --> 00:31:37,983
And, you know what? Actually,
it's my choice. Why am I even asking?
578
00:31:44,275 --> 00:31:46,358
When I got to the hotel,
there was this banqueting suite
579
00:31:46,442 --> 00:31:48,400
and I met six other CEOs
just like me,
580
00:31:48,483 --> 00:31:50,358
only I had just
become a CEO,
581
00:31:50,442 --> 00:31:52,942
so I didn't realize exactly who
I was until I saw the other CEOs,
582
00:31:53,025 --> 00:31:57,108
and then I was like, "Oh,
so that's who I am now."
583
00:31:57,192 --> 00:31:59,275
And we sat around this table,
drinking champagne,
584
00:31:59,358 --> 00:32:01,817
and the conversation was lots
of little voices saying "yes,"
585
00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:04,275
and one big voice saying
"good," Michael Essien's voice.
586
00:32:04,358 --> 00:32:07,650
And then the big voice said,
"Emerging markets" and I...
587
00:32:07,733 --> 00:32:10,858
You know how sometimes when people say
something abstract, I actually see it?
588
00:32:10,942 --> 00:32:13,400
Well, we did smoke a lot of
weed in the bad old days.
589
00:32:13,483 --> 00:32:18,150
When he said "Emerging
markets," I saw this...
590
00:32:18,233 --> 00:32:24,150
thing, this shape appearing from under
the table and swimming around our legs.
591
00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:28,150
I think I actually did have a
temperature that night. But, anyway,
592
00:32:28,233 --> 00:32:30,650
then he said "Cigarettes
and pharmaceuticals,"
593
00:32:30,733 --> 00:32:33,942
and I drank some champagne and
someone said "facilitators,"
594
00:32:34,025 --> 00:32:37,233
that is people who persuade governments
that products are safe and okay.
595
00:32:37,317 --> 00:32:41,733
And the big voice said that facilitators
were now a huge link in the chain
596
00:32:41,817 --> 00:32:45,025
and I saw this big chain
dripping seaweed
597
00:32:45,108 --> 00:32:47,983
and then the big voice
raised a toast to corruption,
598
00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:50,358
and everybody laughed
ironically, including me.
599
00:32:50,442 --> 00:32:51,775
Paxton, look at me!
600
00:32:55,108 --> 00:32:59,275
And this thing, this shape,
it was swimming around my fucking legs
601
00:32:59,358 --> 00:33:01,192
and then the big voice said,
emerging market
602
00:33:01,275 --> 00:33:03,608
were now some big percentage
of Miracore's profits,
603
00:33:03,692 --> 00:33:06,150
and so there would have to be
rationalization in Europe.
604
00:33:06,233 --> 00:33:08,358
And I drank some water,
because I felt a little sick,
605
00:33:08,442 --> 00:33:10,858
but also like I might pass out, but then
the waiter said "brandy," so I said yes.
606
00:33:10,942 --> 00:33:15,692
And, so, the rationalization
was planned right there
607
00:33:15,775 --> 00:33:17,858
at that table in Paris
before Christmas.
608
00:33:17,942 --> 00:33:20,567
And the nice people
that I fired earlier today,
609
00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:23,233
they weren't fired because
of a virus, like I told them,
610
00:33:23,317 --> 00:33:26,150
that was a lie. They were fired
because of this...
611
00:33:26,233 --> 00:33:27,942
this thing, this shape,
612
00:33:28,025 --> 00:33:30,233
that swam with me
all the way back to my room,
613
00:33:30,317 --> 00:33:35,567
and to get rid of it, I used the disgusting
glass swan to smash a full length mirror,
614
00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:37,567
and rather then walk across
broken glass all night,
615
00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:39,650
I decided to take the
last train home to London,
616
00:33:39,733 --> 00:33:41,442
and when I got
to the Gare du Nord station,
617
00:33:41,525 --> 00:33:43,567
a homeless woman came up to me
and asked me for a cigarette.
618
00:33:43,650 --> 00:33:45,900
I told her that I didn't smoke,
but I decided to buy her a pack anyway,
619
00:33:45,983 --> 00:33:48,192
because I thought that maybe
kindness might make me feel better
620
00:33:48,275 --> 00:33:51,108
about what I had become.
And when she lit her cigarette,
621
00:33:51,192 --> 00:33:53,067
I decided
to have a cigarette, too.
622
00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:55,233
And when I drew in
the smoke,
623
00:33:55,317 --> 00:33:58,900
the thing stopped swimming.
624
00:34:00,483 --> 00:34:04,358
So I sat down on the bench
and I waited for my train.
625
00:34:05,858 --> 00:34:08,775
And that is why
I started to smoke again.
626
00:34:12,317 --> 00:34:16,192
But... to complete the answer
to your original question,
627
00:34:16,275 --> 00:34:19,817
in addition to milk
and cigarettes, we need bread
628
00:34:20,567 --> 00:34:22,733
and fucking wine.
629
00:34:25,817 --> 00:34:27,192
God!
630
00:34:27,692 --> 00:34:29,567
God what?
631
00:34:29,650 --> 00:34:31,358
Well, it sounds like
you did have a temperature.
632
00:34:31,442 --> 00:34:33,192
You know, they say this thing
was around before Christmas.
633
00:34:33,275 --> 00:34:35,108
Paxton, no!
It's not about the virus.
634
00:34:35,192 --> 00:34:39,733
It's about me realizing who I
am and what I do for a living.
635
00:34:41,192 --> 00:34:43,192
Although a complete
re-examination of one's life
636
00:34:43,275 --> 00:34:44,858
does seem to be
a COVID side effect.
637
00:34:45,858 --> 00:34:47,400
- You smashed a mirror?
- Yeah.
638
00:34:47,483 --> 00:34:48,733
Yeah, because I was in it.
639
00:34:48,817 --> 00:34:50,733
I also smashed
a champagne bottle,
640
00:34:50,817 --> 00:34:52,942
some champagne glasses, and I was about
to smash a glass horse and jockey,
641
00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:54,400
but then
I decided to keep it,
642
00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:56,525
but then I left it
on the fucking train.
643
00:34:56,608 --> 00:35:00,233
Basically, I went, what you
used to call, "Full Viking."
644
00:35:00,317 --> 00:35:01,733
In fact,
when I broke the mirror
645
00:35:01,817 --> 00:35:04,108
and I saw my furious face
in the cracked glass,
646
00:35:04,192 --> 00:35:06,817
- I thought of you.
- That's very sweet. Thank you.
647
00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:12,400
Why didn't you tell me?
648
00:35:15,233 --> 00:35:19,733
It was the onset of winter.
Our winter.
649
00:35:19,817 --> 00:35:21,567
And anyway,
I didn't tell anybody,
650
00:35:21,650 --> 00:35:25,608
because if you don't tell
anybody, then it didn't happen.
651
00:35:25,692 --> 00:35:28,233
- Did you get a bill for the mirror?
- Paxton...
652
00:35:28,317 --> 00:35:31,858
Paxton, fuck the mirror.
It's not about the mirror, it's about...
653
00:35:38,192 --> 00:35:40,942
Previously, at this point,
654
00:35:41,025 --> 00:35:43,358
- I would've hugged you.
- No, really, there's no need.
655
00:35:43,442 --> 00:35:45,108
And anyway, besides,
you're going shopping.
656
00:35:45,192 --> 00:35:50,275
So, uh, milk, bread,
wine, cigarettes.
657
00:35:50,358 --> 00:35:53,608
- And probably eggs.
- I'm gonna put white flour on the list.
658
00:35:53,692 --> 00:35:55,192
I'm gonna make bread.
659
00:35:55,275 --> 00:35:57,608
- Please don't.
- You know...
660
00:35:59,025 --> 00:36:01,858
what you just said
wasn't a confession.
661
00:36:01,942 --> 00:36:03,233
I didn't say
it was a confession.
662
00:36:03,317 --> 00:36:04,358
'Cause you didn't do
anything wrong.
663
00:36:04,442 --> 00:36:06,358
No, it was an explanation.
664
00:36:06,442 --> 00:36:07,692
You did everything right.
665
00:36:09,775 --> 00:36:11,900
You wanna hear a confession?
666
00:36:11,983 --> 00:36:17,192
This morning I overslept,
because last night I took opium.
667
00:36:18,650 --> 00:36:20,400
Yes!
668
00:36:20,942 --> 00:36:22,608
Yes.
669
00:36:22,692 --> 00:36:24,358
Much worse
than your cigarettes.
670
00:36:24,442 --> 00:36:28,733
I licked opium off little
green bulbs from the garden.
671
00:36:28,817 --> 00:36:30,317
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
672
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,108
Our garden
is full of heroin.
673
00:36:32,192 --> 00:36:33,483
You go beyond the washing line,
it's like the Helmand Province.
674
00:36:33,567 --> 00:36:36,067
After ten years, Paxton?
675
00:36:36,150 --> 00:36:38,067
Smoking isn't
so great either.
676
00:36:38,150 --> 00:36:40,483
You know, I've had
some setbacks lately.
677
00:36:40,567 --> 00:36:42,525
Yeah, well,
you know what, Paxton?
678
00:36:42,608 --> 00:36:44,525
You know that green smoothie that
I have in the mornings since Paris,
679
00:36:44,608 --> 00:36:46,067
there's two shots
of vodka in it.
680
00:36:46,150 --> 00:36:47,567
- Just two but...
- You are lying.
681
00:36:47,650 --> 00:36:49,358
No, I'm not.
682
00:36:49,442 --> 00:36:51,442
Not every morning,
but some mornings I do it. I have done it.
683
00:36:51,525 --> 00:36:54,858
You think I'm so happy and normal
is 'cause I keep getting promoted.
684
00:36:54,942 --> 00:36:56,650
People get confused.
685
00:36:56,733 --> 00:36:58,358
No, I've never accused you of
being happy and normal, Linda.
686
00:36:58,442 --> 00:37:03,442
'Cause I'm not! All right?
I see concepts.
687
00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:04,775
I should've been an artist.
688
00:37:04,858 --> 00:37:06,442
You are unhappy
in an outwardly "happy,
689
00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:08,775
let's pretend it's all fine"
female way,
690
00:37:08,858 --> 00:37:11,650
and I am unhappy
in an obviously thwarted,
691
00:37:11,733 --> 00:37:14,108
- unfulfilled, castrated male way.
- I can't. I can't.
692
00:37:14,192 --> 00:37:15,942
Do not go down
this road again, okay?
693
00:37:16,025 --> 00:37:19,317
Just go to the store.
Milk, bread, wine, cigarettes, eggs.
694
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,608
Yeah, and fuck you,
I'm buying flour.
695
00:37:21,692 --> 00:37:24,108
Fine! Wait.
Do you have a mask?
696
00:37:27,983 --> 00:37:29,608
No, I don't
have a mask, no.
697
00:37:29,692 --> 00:37:32,650
Well, you'll have to tie something
around your mouth and nose.
698
00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:43,608
Fuck!
699
00:37:45,608 --> 00:37:47,108
My old bandana.
700
00:37:47,192 --> 00:37:50,483
Hmm. Yeah, well,
it's no longer a symbol of rebellion.
701
00:37:50,567 --> 00:37:52,067
It's now government advice.
702
00:38:01,692 --> 00:38:05,192
You were wearing that when I met
you in Sturgis, South Dakota.
703
00:38:06,858 --> 00:38:09,025
I thought you looked
like a desperado.
704
00:38:09,108 --> 00:38:11,150
No, I was just trying to get
the dust out of my mouth.
705
00:38:11,233 --> 00:38:12,483
Don't spoil it.
706
00:38:15,942 --> 00:38:19,067
Don't forget the milk
and the eggs, Desperado.
707
00:38:40,608 --> 00:38:42,942
Oi! Move forward.
708
00:38:43,442 --> 00:38:44,900
Oi!
709
00:38:44,983 --> 00:38:46,650
Go ahead then.
710
00:38:46,733 --> 00:38:47,900
Fuck off.
711
00:38:51,442 --> 00:38:52,692
Oi. How many asses
have you got?
712
00:38:52,775 --> 00:38:53,775
Fuck off!
713
00:39:43,025 --> 00:39:44,483
Paxton.
714
00:39:47,025 --> 00:39:50,983
Hearing the story about Paris
out loud, it made me think...
715
00:39:51,067 --> 00:39:53,942
When lockdown's over,
I'm going to think about leaving Miracore.
716
00:39:56,567 --> 00:39:57,983
Why are you telling me?
717
00:40:23,192 --> 00:40:24,525
You called?
718
00:40:24,608 --> 00:40:26,108
Oh, Lord who art in heaven,
I beseech you,
719
00:40:26,192 --> 00:40:27,900
look favorably upon
Paxton and myself
720
00:40:27,983 --> 00:40:29,483
and forgive us
the sin of deception
721
00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:31,150
which we are jointly
about to commit
722
00:40:31,233 --> 00:40:33,442
in pursuit of his ultimate
redemption. Amen.
723
00:40:35,483 --> 00:40:37,275
Amen.
724
00:40:37,358 --> 00:40:39,067
Every prayer is tailored to
suit the person I am calling.
725
00:40:39,150 --> 00:40:41,525
Either it's me writing
the words or it's Jesus.
726
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,192
What do you want, Malcolm?
727
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,067
I've got your fake ID sorted.
728
00:40:46,150 --> 00:40:48,233
Virginia is delivering
the ID card.
729
00:40:48,317 --> 00:40:50,650
I wanted to make sure
you'd be in.
730
00:40:50,733 --> 00:40:52,567
You know what, Malcolm?
Everybody's in.
731
00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:54,317
And I've sent you
your new name.
732
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,358
I texted it to you.
It's on your phone.
733
00:40:57,067 --> 00:40:58,817
Okay.
734
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:02,483
A new name for the beginning
of a new life.
735
00:41:03,442 --> 00:41:06,358
And my new name is...
736
00:41:10,775 --> 00:41:12,025
Edgar Allen Poe.
737
00:41:12,108 --> 00:41:13,275
Yeah.
738
00:41:15,275 --> 00:41:16,775
Yeah, uh...
739
00:41:18,067 --> 00:41:20,233
Yeah. Malcolm, I obviously
can't use this name.
740
00:41:20,317 --> 00:41:21,525
Why not?
741
00:41:21,608 --> 00:41:22,858
I'm hoping this is a joke,
742
00:41:22,942 --> 00:41:24,150
but I know you,
so it's probably not.
743
00:41:24,233 --> 00:41:25,275
What joke?
744
00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:28,192
Okay.
745
00:41:28,275 --> 00:41:30,983
Edgar Allan Poe is the name
of a famous,
746
00:41:31,067 --> 00:41:32,358
like a...
747
00:41:32,442 --> 00:41:34,567
like a very famous
American novelist and poet.
748
00:41:34,650 --> 00:41:36,108
Never heard of him.
749
00:41:36,192 --> 00:41:37,525
Well, I assure you,
750
00:41:37,608 --> 00:41:41,400
Edgar Allan Poe is actually
a very famous
751
00:41:41,483 --> 00:41:43,358
American writer who I'm
actually very fond of.
752
00:41:43,442 --> 00:41:45,067
It was me that came up
with Edgar.
753
00:41:45,150 --> 00:41:46,567
It's my grandad's name.
754
00:41:46,650 --> 00:41:48,275
So who came up
with the "Allen Poe" part?
755
00:41:48,358 --> 00:41:49,817
Martin in dispatch.
756
00:41:50,317 --> 00:41:51,775
Fuck.
757
00:41:51,858 --> 00:41:53,900
Martin in dispatch
hates me.
758
00:41:53,983 --> 00:41:56,483
He's deliberately suggested
this to make my life strange
759
00:41:56,567 --> 00:41:57,858
and unbearable.
760
00:41:57,942 --> 00:41:59,483
Well, the card's
already been laminated.
761
00:41:59,567 --> 00:42:02,317
Malcolm, I can't go into
expensive department stores
762
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,525
in the West End, right,
763
00:42:03,608 --> 00:42:05,733
and expect them
to entrust me
764
00:42:05,817 --> 00:42:07,983
with valuable clothing
and jewelry,
765
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:11,067
and tell them that my name
is Edgar Allen fucking Poe!
766
00:42:11,150 --> 00:42:13,817
If he's so famous,
how come I've never heard of him?
767
00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:15,483
'Cause you don't
read books!
768
00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,067
I read the Good Book.
769
00:42:17,150 --> 00:42:18,567
But he's not in the Bible, obviously.
He's an American.
770
00:42:18,650 --> 00:42:21,025
Anybody here ever heard
of a writer
771
00:42:21,108 --> 00:42:22,692
called Edgar Allan Poe?
772
00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:25,150
No?
773
00:42:25,233 --> 00:42:26,442
No one. There you go.
774
00:42:26,525 --> 00:42:27,775
I know there's
no one there.
775
00:42:27,858 --> 00:42:28,483
They are all
working from home.
776
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,650
Martin's here.
777
00:42:30,733 --> 00:42:32,067
This was his idea!
778
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:34,942
Well, the card's
already been laminated.
779
00:42:36,192 --> 00:42:38,525
All right, look, I grant you
that 90%
780
00:42:38,608 --> 00:42:40,442
of the security guards
working the night shift
781
00:42:40,525 --> 00:42:42,108
in the West End
would not have heard
782
00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:43,358
of Edgar Allan Poe.
783
00:42:43,442 --> 00:42:44,733
Basically dealing with robots.
784
00:42:44,817 --> 00:42:46,442
But I am an unlucky person.
785
00:42:46,525 --> 00:42:49,775
Fate has a way of doing these
little experiments on me.
786
00:42:49,858 --> 00:42:51,525
Card's already laminated
787
00:42:51,608 --> 00:42:53,983
and Martin has a new name
badge made for your uniform.
788
00:42:54,067 --> 00:42:55,442
It's all in the envelope.
789
00:42:55,525 --> 00:42:56,858
By some chance,
790
00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:58,733
choosing the name
of a gloomy,
791
00:42:58,817 --> 00:43:02,400
introspective peddler of darkness
is actually quite appropriate
792
00:43:02,483 --> 00:43:03,900
to my character,
but please...
793
00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:08,983
just give me a new card
under a different name.
794
00:43:09,067 --> 00:43:11,067
The robots don't give
a fuck about the name,
795
00:43:11,150 --> 00:43:12,650
they just look
at the photo.
796
00:43:12,733 --> 00:43:14,233
You are due at Selfridges'
loading bay B
797
00:43:14,317 --> 00:43:15,983
at 1800 hours tonight.
798
00:43:16,067 --> 00:43:18,067
Wear your uniform
with your name tag.
799
00:43:18,150 --> 00:43:20,025
Flash your ID.
800
00:43:20,108 --> 00:43:23,150
Look, if you want to back
out, say so now.
801
00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,942
I can't get into
trouble again, all right?
802
00:43:25,025 --> 00:43:28,483
This could be construed
as deception
803
00:43:28,567 --> 00:43:29,567
and attempted robbery.
804
00:43:29,650 --> 00:43:30,942
You counted me down,
805
00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:33,358
I'll count you down,
you fucker.
806
00:43:33,442 --> 00:43:37,192
Five, four, three, two...
807
00:43:37,275 --> 00:43:39,900
Fuck! All right, all right.
I'll do it.
808
00:43:39,983 --> 00:43:41,358
Good.
809
00:43:41,442 --> 00:43:44,483
Details are on the text.
God bless you, Paxton.
810
00:43:58,275 --> 00:44:01,108
No need to sign.
I know him.
811
00:44:01,192 --> 00:44:02,442
Are you his other half?
812
00:44:03,317 --> 00:44:04,692
Yes, yes, I am.
813
00:44:04,775 --> 00:44:06,525
He's so dry,
isn't he?
814
00:44:06,608 --> 00:44:08,233
Yes, he is.
815
00:44:08,317 --> 00:44:10,233
Hello, Paxton.
816
00:44:10,317 --> 00:44:12,192
I was just saying
you're very funny.
817
00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,067
Yes, I am.
I am hilarious.
818
00:44:15,150 --> 00:44:17,233
We think he's too
clever to be driving vans.
819
00:44:17,317 --> 00:44:19,858
We don't know why he
doesn't get a better job.
820
00:44:19,942 --> 00:44:21,317
Well, that's easy.
821
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,067
It's 'cause ten years ago,
I beat a man senseless
822
00:44:23,150 --> 00:44:24,650
in a bikers' roadhouse
in Watford.
823
00:44:24,733 --> 00:44:25,983
See?
824
00:44:26,067 --> 00:44:28,525
He's always saying
silly things.
825
00:44:28,608 --> 00:44:30,192
He's so dry.
826
00:44:30,275 --> 00:44:32,442
Give my regards to
Martin, would you, Virginia?
827
00:44:32,525 --> 00:44:34,733
- Mmm-hmm.
- Tell him this won't be forgotten.
828
00:44:34,817 --> 00:44:36,317
Okay.
829
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:37,942
See you when
the madness is over.
830
00:44:38,025 --> 00:44:40,317
Yeah, well, for some of us,
the madness never ends.
831
00:44:47,483 --> 00:44:49,942
Never forget,
the man you beat senseless deserved it.
832
00:44:50,025 --> 00:44:52,067
Please don't talk about
people deserving things.
833
00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:54,733
If it wasn't for you, a little man
called Archie Bruce would be dead.
834
00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,942
What you want,
justice next?
835
00:44:57,025 --> 00:44:59,358
I know that you had
a bad break,
836
00:44:59,442 --> 00:45:01,067
- but going forward...
- "Going forward"?
837
00:45:01,150 --> 00:45:02,900
When lockdown is over
and we are apart,
838
00:45:02,983 --> 00:45:04,983
you have to stop believing
that fate is against you. Okay?
839
00:45:05,067 --> 00:45:06,983
You have to stop believing
the name Paxton
840
00:45:07,067 --> 00:45:08,233
is a precursor of doom.
841
00:45:08,317 --> 00:45:10,858
Yes, well,
my name isn't Paxton.
842
00:45:13,525 --> 00:45:14,483
Yeah.
843
00:45:31,775 --> 00:45:35,150
Paxton, you can't go through with
this, you're gonna get caught.
844
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:37,233
If you're doing it for cash,
I'll give you the cash.
845
00:45:37,317 --> 00:45:38,983
I am not doing it
for the cash.
846
00:45:39,067 --> 00:45:42,233
I'm doing it for the opportunity
to have a better life.
847
00:45:42,317 --> 00:45:44,233
But why am I telling you?
848
00:45:50,942 --> 00:45:53,150
Fuck.
849
00:45:57,358 --> 00:45:58,567
Paxton.
850
00:46:20,900 --> 00:46:22,150
Oh!
851
00:46:25,692 --> 00:46:27,067
Oh.
852
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:34,442
Fuck 'em.
853
00:46:37,817 --> 00:46:40,858
And Linda seemed kind of
detached from the whole thing.
854
00:46:40,942 --> 00:46:41,942
Hey.
855
00:46:42,442 --> 00:46:43,525
Detached?
856
00:46:44,317 --> 00:46:45,275
Hi, Linda.
857
00:46:45,358 --> 00:46:46,525
We were talking about you.
858
00:46:46,608 --> 00:46:48,025
We were all just saying
859
00:46:48,108 --> 00:46:49,358
that we love that
you're always so professional.
860
00:46:49,442 --> 00:46:51,483
Detached from what
whole thing?
861
00:46:51,567 --> 00:46:53,358
I was saying
you handled the situation
862
00:46:53,442 --> 00:46:56,317
with Events without too much
feeling getting in the way.
863
00:46:57,900 --> 00:46:58,983
You fired them well.
864
00:47:00,275 --> 00:47:02,942
I did. Thank you.
865
00:47:03,025 --> 00:47:04,025
Good.
866
00:47:05,483 --> 00:47:08,692
Linda, is that
a glass of wine?
867
00:47:08,775 --> 00:47:10,483
Oh, yes, yeah, it is.
868
00:47:10,567 --> 00:47:12,025
Well...
869
00:47:12,108 --> 00:47:13,900
it says wine on the label
870
00:47:13,983 --> 00:47:15,317
but it tastes like something used
to clean something off of a surface.
871
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,317
Paxton chose it.
872
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:17,442
Who's Paxton?
873
00:47:17,525 --> 00:47:19,150
Mmm, anyway...
874
00:47:19,233 --> 00:47:21,400
we have a problem,
so shall we get on?
875
00:47:28,692 --> 00:47:29,775
Hello, Martin.
876
00:47:30,567 --> 00:47:32,483
Hello, Edgar.
877
00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:34,067
You know,
from my observation of you
878
00:47:34,150 --> 00:47:35,650
since I joined the company,
879
00:47:35,733 --> 00:47:38,483
you represent the longest
and most well-managed
880
00:47:38,567 --> 00:47:40,567
nervous breakdown
in history.
881
00:47:40,650 --> 00:47:43,400
Why don't you go somewhere
warm and count your grievances?
882
00:47:43,483 --> 00:47:45,733
I've disinfected the van
for you.
883
00:47:45,817 --> 00:47:48,942
Everything you need
is in there.
884
00:47:49,025 --> 00:47:52,775
You know, when Malcolm told me he was
giving you an A2 security clearance,
885
00:47:52,858 --> 00:47:54,400
I advised him against it.
886
00:47:54,483 --> 00:47:56,442
B2B normally keep
lowlifes like you
887
00:47:56,525 --> 00:47:59,233
away from high-value cargo
for a reason...
888
00:47:59,317 --> 00:48:01,108
Temptation.
889
00:48:01,192 --> 00:48:03,192
You forgot to put the keys to the
van inside the envelope, Martin.
890
00:48:04,817 --> 00:48:07,900
I've read your
human resources profile.
891
00:48:07,983 --> 00:48:11,108
My personal record is meant
to be confidential,
892
00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:13,233
but for your
personal record, Martin,
893
00:48:13,317 --> 00:48:15,858
I'm a different person now.
Give me the fucking keys.
894
00:48:15,942 --> 00:48:17,400
Perhaps Malcolm
didn't tell you.
895
00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:19,108
The estimated value
of tonight's cargo
896
00:48:19,192 --> 00:48:22,442
out of Selfridges
is £50,000.
897
00:48:22,525 --> 00:48:25,275
The value of your collection
from Harvey Nichols on Friday
898
00:48:25,358 --> 00:48:27,025
is just under £100,000.
899
00:48:27,108 --> 00:48:28,442
But on Saturday night,
900
00:48:28,525 --> 00:48:30,358
when you go to Harrods,
901
00:48:30,442 --> 00:48:33,483
you'll be driving away from the
world's most glamorous department store
902
00:48:33,567 --> 00:48:35,775
with jewelry and accessories
in your van
903
00:48:35,858 --> 00:48:37,983
worth over
three million pounds.
904
00:48:38,692 --> 00:48:39,817
Now think on this.
905
00:48:39,900 --> 00:48:41,525
You'll be wearing
a mask and gloves,
906
00:48:41,608 --> 00:48:43,525
you'll be using
a false identity.
907
00:48:43,608 --> 00:48:45,233
Outside, the streets
will be empty.
908
00:48:45,317 --> 00:48:46,733
Store security
on quarter staff
909
00:48:46,817 --> 00:48:48,983
with big holes
caused by absences.
910
00:48:49,067 --> 00:48:50,650
What more could
a lowlife need
911
00:48:50,733 --> 00:48:52,275
to pull off
the perfect robbery.
912
00:48:52,358 --> 00:48:54,692
You refer to me as "lowlife"
one more time...
913
00:48:54,775 --> 00:48:56,858
You'll what?
Revert to type.
914
00:48:56,942 --> 00:48:59,150
Okay, here goes,
one more time.
915
00:48:59,233 --> 00:49:01,608
Lowlife.
916
00:49:01,692 --> 00:49:04,733
You know, Malcolm told me that if
you do okay in the next few nights,
917
00:49:04,817 --> 00:49:07,025
he's gonna put you
in customer services.
918
00:49:07,108 --> 00:49:09,150
Goin' out
and meeting clients.
919
00:49:09,233 --> 00:49:10,608
'Cause you're so funny
920
00:49:10,692 --> 00:49:13,400
and you're so dry and
you make the girls laugh.
921
00:49:13,483 --> 00:49:15,150
Whereas I've been stuck
in dispatches
922
00:49:15,233 --> 00:49:16,942
for seven and a half years.
923
00:49:17,025 --> 00:49:19,400
You have to stop thinking the
whole world's against you, Martin.
924
00:49:23,567 --> 00:49:25,358
Do it, Paxton.
925
00:49:25,442 --> 00:49:28,650
Take the opportunity
that fate has given you.
926
00:49:36,233 --> 00:49:39,442
Exactly how much product do
Eve Schwarz have in Harrods?
927
00:49:39,525 --> 00:49:42,775
Uh, approximately three million
pounds' jewelry and accessories.
928
00:49:42,858 --> 00:49:44,108
Harrods wants everything
out of the store
929
00:49:44,192 --> 00:49:45,442
and it's
our responsibility...
930
00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:47,525
Oh, you've frozen, Linda.
931
00:49:48,317 --> 00:49:50,150
Can you hear me?
932
00:49:50,233 --> 00:49:52,525
Yeah, I can hear you,
just your face is frozen.
933
00:49:52,608 --> 00:49:56,483
You've got this look
of exasperation.
934
00:49:56,567 --> 00:50:00,775
Uh, someone's gonna have to go into
Harrods and pack the valuables up
935
00:50:00,858 --> 00:50:03,775
and check the inventory
and count everything out.
936
00:50:03,858 --> 00:50:05,400
And it's gonna have
to be someone that we trust.
937
00:50:05,483 --> 00:50:07,608
Someone who is familiar
with the stock,
938
00:50:07,692 --> 00:50:09,317
and knows how
the Harrods system works.
939
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,400
So that means, inevitably,
it's going to be me, isn't it?
940
00:50:11,483 --> 00:50:14,067
Okay, but there's this,
another second reason for this call.
941
00:50:14,150 --> 00:50:17,400
Michael Essien has decided.
He wants to give you a promotion.
942
00:50:17,483 --> 00:50:19,400
He wants to bring you home.
943
00:50:19,483 --> 00:50:22,983
Back to New York
to run the East Coast.
944
00:50:23,650 --> 00:50:25,067
Uh...
945
00:50:25,150 --> 00:50:27,108
Wow, God. Um...
946
00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:28,525
Exciting.
947
00:50:28,608 --> 00:50:29,942
A unexpected
turn of events
948
00:50:30,025 --> 00:50:31,483
and cheap wine
don't pair well together.
949
00:50:31,567 --> 00:50:35,025
Um, I'm gonna have to, uh,
really think about this.
950
00:50:35,108 --> 00:50:37,400
Uh, right, good night.
951
00:50:37,483 --> 00:50:38,442
Yeah, thank you.
952
00:50:38,525 --> 00:50:39,983
I mean...
953
00:50:40,067 --> 00:50:41,400
Linda, it's exciting...
954
00:50:45,733 --> 00:50:48,483
A frozen look
of exasperation.
955
00:50:48,567 --> 00:50:53,608
...and that is his
second son, Carl Philipp Emauel Bach
956
00:50:53,692 --> 00:50:55,608
and here's his Symphony No. 4.
957
00:51:55,817 --> 00:51:57,317
It's just that after
our call last night,
958
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,358
we became worried about
Paxton's state of mind.
959
00:51:59,442 --> 00:52:01,567
We worry that
he might implode or explode.
960
00:52:01,650 --> 00:52:04,067
Knowing Paxton,
he'll probably implode rather than explode.
961
00:52:04,150 --> 00:52:05,942
What's the difference?
962
00:52:06,025 --> 00:52:08,150
When you implode,
you withdraw within yourself,
963
00:52:08,233 --> 00:52:10,358
when you explode,
you impose yourself on the outer world.
964
00:52:10,442 --> 00:52:12,400
David, for example,
when he gets angry, he implodes.
965
00:52:12,483 --> 00:52:14,192
When I get angry,
I explode.
966
00:52:14,275 --> 00:52:16,442
- I can also explode if I have to.
- Rarely.
967
00:52:16,525 --> 00:52:18,025
You've obviously never
seen me in business meetings.
968
00:52:18,108 --> 00:52:20,192
Well, actually I have.
Since lockdown.
969
00:52:20,275 --> 00:52:22,108
You've heard me through the
wall, you haven't seen me.
970
00:52:22,192 --> 00:52:23,567
Okay, then,
I haven't heard you explode.
971
00:52:23,650 --> 00:52:25,150
I've actually been
very surprised
972
00:52:25,233 --> 00:52:27,400
about how submissive you are
in meetings.
973
00:52:27,483 --> 00:52:29,608
- Submissive?
- You're the boss, David, you should act like the boss.
974
00:52:29,692 --> 00:52:32,442
Anyway, just to reassure you, Paxton's okay.
975
00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:34,900
In fact, Paxton maybe
getting a promotion.
976
00:52:35,942 --> 00:52:37,817
Linda, are you
drinking alone?
977
00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:40,567
No, I've got three firemen
waiting for me in the kitchen.
978
00:52:40,650 --> 00:52:43,400
Since lockdown, David has
been drinking so much more.
979
00:52:43,483 --> 00:52:47,358
Yes, David,
isn't it wonderful?
980
00:52:47,442 --> 00:52:49,900
We now keep a record.
We count the bottles.
981
00:52:49,983 --> 00:52:52,067
- I don't care.
- Your body cares.
982
00:52:52,150 --> 00:52:54,483
Your body counts the bottles and
keeps an inventory in you liver.
983
00:52:54,567 --> 00:52:58,900
David, my fellow drinker,
I'd like to tell you a secret.
984
00:52:58,983 --> 00:53:01,233
- What secret?
- You know, Linda,
985
00:53:01,317 --> 00:53:03,317
there have been many
occasions in my life
986
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,442
where I've had a few glasses of
wine and in the next morning,
987
00:53:05,525 --> 00:53:08,233
I woke up like, "Golly. Wow.
I wish I hadn't said that."
988
00:53:08,317 --> 00:53:11,317
Oh, I've done that
so many times, too.
989
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,483
You know, my mantra is,
secrets and wine
990
00:53:13,567 --> 00:53:15,483
- don't go great together.
- Let her tell me the secret.
991
00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,233
I think he's gonna
like this secret.
992
00:53:17,317 --> 00:53:18,858
I think you're gonna like this
secret, David, very much.
993
00:53:18,942 --> 00:53:20,900
Something he's gonna like,
you don't know.
994
00:53:20,983 --> 00:53:22,858
- No, he might not.
- What the fuck are you two talking about?
995
00:53:22,942 --> 00:53:24,317
- The secret is this.
- He might not be in a place
996
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,775
where it's okay.
He watches Fox.
997
00:53:25,858 --> 00:53:27,900
It is I who am buying
Paxton's motorbike.
998
00:53:30,483 --> 00:53:32,150
What?
999
00:53:32,233 --> 00:53:33,608
When he said he was
selling it,
1000
00:53:33,692 --> 00:53:35,983
I arranged a dealer
to buy it anonymously.
1001
00:53:36,067 --> 00:53:38,067
I'm gonna buy it
and give it back to him.
1002
00:53:38,692 --> 00:53:39,817
My parting gift.
1003
00:53:45,275 --> 00:53:47,442
For a while I've known
I had to leave him.
1004
00:53:47,525 --> 00:53:48,608
But...
1005
00:53:50,525 --> 00:53:53,692
But losing the bike, yeah,
that's too much.
1006
00:53:55,358 --> 00:53:57,108
And the bike means
something to me, too.
1007
00:53:57,192 --> 00:53:59,400
You know, youth.
1008
00:53:59,483 --> 00:54:05,108
Cigarettes. Bad, bad wine
chosen by Paxton.
1009
00:54:09,150 --> 00:54:10,775
- Wow, that's...
- Linda, that's awesome.
1010
00:54:10,858 --> 00:54:12,733
But here's the thing, David.
I want you to tell him
1011
00:54:12,817 --> 00:54:14,692
that it's you
who is buying the bike
1012
00:54:14,775 --> 00:54:16,442
and giving it back to him.
I don't want him to know that it's me.
1013
00:54:18,567 --> 00:54:19,858
Why?
1014
00:54:21,317 --> 00:54:22,692
It'll hurt him less.
1015
00:54:24,025 --> 00:54:25,817
He really
is quite prehistoric.
1016
00:54:27,233 --> 00:54:29,567
I'm a bit drunk
and I hate people
1017
00:54:29,650 --> 00:54:31,233
who get emotional
on these things, so...
1018
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:55,692
Fuck.
1019
00:55:09,483 --> 00:55:11,817
Making noise
for the NHS.
1020
00:55:15,442 --> 00:55:19,067
We've got
Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 3.
1021
00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:30,567
Whoo!
1022
00:55:37,650 --> 00:55:38,775
Whoo!
1023
00:56:05,275 --> 00:56:06,442
Hey.
1024
00:56:08,275 --> 00:56:10,275
Couldn't sleep.
1025
00:56:10,358 --> 00:56:13,567
If the wine didn't work,
go and lick the garden.
1026
00:56:13,650 --> 00:56:16,067
How was it tonight?
1027
00:56:17,650 --> 00:56:20,858
Every security person I met
was under the age of 12,
1028
00:56:20,942 --> 00:56:23,317
and every one of them was
too busy playing Fortnite
1029
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,192
to fully acknowledge my ID.
1030
00:56:25,275 --> 00:56:28,650
Anyway, I think for the young
generation, great literature is dead.
1031
00:56:28,733 --> 00:56:32,442
I could have had an ID card
with William Shakespeare on it.
1032
00:56:32,525 --> 00:56:34,900
How many more
pick-ups do you have?
1033
00:56:34,983 --> 00:56:37,775
Um, tomorrow,
Harvey Nichols
1034
00:56:37,858 --> 00:56:40,108
and then,
Saturday, Harrods.
1035
00:56:41,692 --> 00:56:43,358
Harrods?
Saturday night?
1036
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:45,275
It's all gone mad
out there.
1037
00:56:45,358 --> 00:56:49,108
One of the security guards was
telling me about franchise managers
1038
00:56:49,192 --> 00:56:53,108
are taking out diamond rings
and watches in plastic bags
1039
00:56:53,192 --> 00:56:54,650
and getting into Ubers.
1040
00:56:54,733 --> 00:56:56,608
What are you
taking out of Harrods?
1041
00:56:56,692 --> 00:56:58,233
I don't know.
1042
00:56:58,317 --> 00:57:00,233
Martin says it's over
three million pounds worth.
1043
00:57:00,317 --> 00:57:02,525
No co-drivers
'cause of COVID.
1044
00:57:02,608 --> 00:57:04,817
Carrying it to where?
1045
00:57:04,900 --> 00:57:08,525
Uh, the docket says Heathrow.
Ten o'clock flight to New York.
1046
00:57:08,608 --> 00:57:10,900
Harrods to Heathrow,
Saturday night,
1047
00:57:10,983 --> 00:57:13,317
three million pounds,
ten o'clock flight.
1048
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:15,233
Look, there's the hedgehog.
1049
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,192
Oh, no, he's gone.
1050
00:57:21,025 --> 00:57:22,483
Ah, he's gone.
1051
00:57:24,442 --> 00:57:25,692
How was your evening?
1052
00:57:26,608 --> 00:57:28,983
Okay, um, Paxton.
Here it is.
1053
00:57:29,067 --> 00:57:31,858
You can't do that pick-up
at Harrods on Saturday.
1054
00:57:31,942 --> 00:57:34,317
You really can't.
1055
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:35,650
What are you talking about?
1056
00:57:35,733 --> 00:57:37,567
Okay, do you remember
once I asked you,
1057
00:57:37,650 --> 00:57:39,108
do you believe in God,
and you said that
1058
00:57:39,192 --> 00:57:42,275
you believe that he's busy
on another project,
1059
00:57:42,358 --> 00:57:43,858
but occasionally he puts
his head around the door?
1060
00:57:43,942 --> 00:57:45,942
Well, I think this may be
one of those occasions,
1061
00:57:46,025 --> 00:57:49,942
'cause God or fate or the virus or
somebody put our paths on the cross.
1062
00:57:51,608 --> 00:57:53,525
On Saturday, I will be in
Harrods packing up the cargo
1063
00:57:53,608 --> 00:57:55,358
that you are due to carry.
1064
00:57:55,442 --> 00:57:57,025
Fuck.
1065
00:57:57,108 --> 00:57:58,733
What are you
talkin' about? I...
1066
00:57:59,483 --> 00:58:01,858
I have to do the pick-up.
1067
00:58:01,942 --> 00:58:03,692
If you do,
you will be caught.
1068
00:58:03,775 --> 00:58:05,400
It doesn't matter
what name you're using.
1069
00:58:05,483 --> 00:58:07,025
It's a fake name and I have
implemented cross-checks.
1070
00:58:07,108 --> 00:58:08,692
You won't make it
past the door.
1071
00:58:08,775 --> 00:58:12,150
I know, because it's my
system that will stop you!
1072
00:58:18,942 --> 00:58:21,858
I'm sorry. And what the fuck,
don't even begin.
1073
00:58:21,942 --> 00:58:25,025
I can't fucking
get anywhere!
1074
00:58:29,733 --> 00:58:31,650
I mean...
1075
00:58:31,733 --> 00:58:33,442
Can't you just tell them
that you know me?
1076
00:58:33,525 --> 00:58:34,900
That...
1077
00:58:34,983 --> 00:58:37,942
That you know I can be trusted.
That I am your...
1078
00:58:39,358 --> 00:58:41,358
That I was your partner.
1079
00:58:45,233 --> 00:58:47,025
- What?
- It doesn't work like that.
1080
00:58:47,525 --> 00:58:48,900
And I...
1081
00:58:50,942 --> 00:58:52,650
Since joining Miracore
three years ago,
1082
00:58:52,733 --> 00:58:55,400
I haven't told anyone
I have a partner.
1083
00:58:55,483 --> 00:58:58,233
Partly because I wanted
to keep work separate.
1084
00:58:58,317 --> 00:59:00,233
Yeah, but mostly because
you were embarrassed
1085
00:59:00,317 --> 00:59:01,858
to have a partner
that drives a van.
1086
00:59:04,233 --> 00:59:07,108
Yes. All of the above.
I...
1087
00:59:07,192 --> 00:59:09,317
But now,
I am looking at myself.
1088
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,275
Since lockdown,
I'm looking back at myself
1089
00:59:11,358 --> 00:59:13,025
like that was then
and this is now.
1090
00:59:13,108 --> 00:59:14,733
Well, good for you, Linda,
1091
00:59:14,817 --> 00:59:16,317
but if I don't make this
collection on Saturday night,
1092
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,733
then, not only will Malcolm
not promote me,
1093
00:59:19,817 --> 00:59:21,150
he will fire me.
1094
00:59:22,858 --> 00:59:25,275
I could always
start dealing heroin.
1095
00:59:26,358 --> 00:59:27,942
Lowlife is lowlife.
1096
00:59:31,025 --> 00:59:34,400
No job. No bike.
1097
00:59:36,858 --> 00:59:37,900
No you.
1098
00:59:49,733 --> 00:59:53,150
When I worked at Harrods,
I had so much fun.
1099
00:59:53,233 --> 00:59:55,608
I knew everyone.
Everyone knew me.
1100
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:57,442
Most of them
still work there...
1101
00:59:57,525 --> 00:59:59,025
Is there any possibility we might
get back to me for a moment?
1102
00:59:59,108 --> 01:00:00,150
I mean, I'm the one
whose life is fucked.
1103
01:00:00,233 --> 01:00:01,650
No, no, this is about you.
1104
01:00:01,733 --> 01:00:03,442
All right, I know all the
security guards, everyone.
1105
01:00:03,525 --> 01:00:06,150
- I know the security systems.
- So?
1106
01:00:06,233 --> 01:00:08,233
So there is a way for you to
make your pick-up at Harrods
1107
01:00:08,317 --> 01:00:10,067
and deliver to Heathrow
without getting caught.
1108
01:00:10,150 --> 01:00:12,442
You will get your promotion
and I will get my stock removed
1109
01:00:12,525 --> 01:00:13,650
and no one will know.
1110
01:00:13,733 --> 01:00:15,525
But we will be
breaking the law.
1111
01:00:15,608 --> 01:00:20,150
So you're gonna have to do absolutely
everything I tell you to do.
1112
01:00:43,608 --> 01:00:46,817
Michael Morgan. Acting
Deputy Head, Harrods' Events Security.
1113
01:00:46,900 --> 01:00:48,942
Yes, you are
in my old department.
1114
01:00:49,025 --> 01:00:50,817
How's life at Harrods?
1115
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:53,025
I only just joined.
I used to be in the Royal Navy.
1116
01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:54,858
Oh, quite a change then.
1117
01:00:54,942 --> 01:00:57,358
Not really. No, Harrods
is like a big ship.
1118
01:00:57,442 --> 01:00:58,900
Oh. Okay.
1119
01:00:58,983 --> 01:01:01,442
I mean, there are,
obviously, huge differences.
1120
01:01:01,525 --> 01:01:03,150
Of course.
1121
01:01:03,233 --> 01:01:05,025
Yeah, and not just in terms
of the shape of the building
1122
01:01:05,108 --> 01:01:07,858
or the fact that
it doesn't float.
1123
01:01:07,942 --> 01:01:09,858
- You know, it's...
- Oh, yeah.
1124
01:01:09,942 --> 01:01:12,358
Yeah, the working environment
must be very different, I imagine.
1125
01:01:12,442 --> 01:01:14,733
Yes, it is.
Lot of women here.
1126
01:01:14,817 --> 01:01:16,192
- Yeah.
- Yes.
1127
01:01:16,275 --> 01:01:18,067
Yeah, on the ship,
there was only four.
1128
01:01:18,150 --> 01:01:19,775
And, uh, two of them
were called Karen.
1129
01:01:19,858 --> 01:01:21,900
Called them Karen one
and Karen two.
1130
01:01:21,983 --> 01:01:23,608
I think Kate's
meant to be joining us?
1131
01:01:23,692 --> 01:01:25,233
- Kate Smith, yes, from Events.
- Oh.
1132
01:01:25,317 --> 01:01:26,442
When I knew her,
she was Kate Wiley.
1133
01:01:26,525 --> 01:01:28,733
She must have
gotten married.
1134
01:01:28,817 --> 01:01:30,275
Yeah, she did get married, yeah,
but it all went horribly wrong, I think.
1135
01:01:30,358 --> 01:01:32,317
Oh, sorry to hear that.
1136
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,317
What happened?
1137
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:35,900
I don't know. They don't talk
to me about that sort of thing.
1138
01:01:35,983 --> 01:01:37,858
Linda!
1139
01:01:37,942 --> 01:01:39,192
Katie!
1140
01:01:39,275 --> 01:01:40,900
Oh my God,
Oh, my God. How are you?
1141
01:01:40,983 --> 01:01:43,233
Oh, my gosh. You know,
I'm surviving.
1142
01:01:43,317 --> 01:01:44,733
Linda, you have gone off
like a rocket!
1143
01:01:44,817 --> 01:01:45,983
- Oh, stop.
- I mean, my God.
1144
01:01:46,067 --> 01:01:47,567
When they said
CEO Miracore,
1145
01:01:47,650 --> 01:01:49,567
I thought, "Okay, God,
some bald man,"
1146
01:01:49,650 --> 01:01:51,733
but then I saw your name.
1147
01:01:51,817 --> 01:01:54,858
Linda was just asking what went
wrong with your marriage. She...
1148
01:01:54,942 --> 01:01:57,775
- was just askin'.
- No. No, no, no. I wasn't. I didn't.
1149
01:01:57,858 --> 01:01:59,442
When a man is shorter
than you
1150
01:01:59,525 --> 01:02:00,942
and then suddenly decides
1151
01:02:01,025 --> 01:02:02,817
to let his beard grow
very, very long
1152
01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:05,233
and then becomes obsessed
with so called "white magic,"
1153
01:02:05,317 --> 01:02:07,275
it can just get very creepy
very quickly.
1154
01:02:07,358 --> 01:02:09,442
Anyway, what can we do for you?
1155
01:02:09,525 --> 01:02:11,567
I have an update about the
Eve Schwarz clear-out on Saturday.
1156
01:02:11,650 --> 01:02:13,483
You see, all the secure freight
companies have been booked
1157
01:02:13,567 --> 01:02:16,025
and it looks like our logistics
department was late to the party.
1158
01:02:16,108 --> 01:02:17,942
Eve Schwarz, Miracore.
Here it is.
1159
01:02:18,025 --> 01:02:19,525
They've booked a freight company
that I've never used before,
1160
01:02:19,608 --> 01:02:20,858
so that's why I'm anxious.
1161
01:02:20,942 --> 01:02:23,150
Lime green is the color
and, uh...
1162
01:02:23,233 --> 01:02:24,942
So you're anxious
about the freight company?
1163
01:02:25,025 --> 01:02:26,733
It's gonna be
green arrows pointing...
1164
01:02:26,817 --> 01:02:28,150
So if it's okay with you,
1165
01:02:28,233 --> 01:02:29,858
I know the Harrods
security system
1166
01:02:29,942 --> 01:02:31,775
and I'd like to run the
checks on the driver myself.
1167
01:02:31,858 --> 01:02:33,442
Oh, no, no, that's Imran's job.
That's...
1168
01:02:33,525 --> 01:02:35,150
Do you remember Imran, Linda?
1169
01:02:35,233 --> 01:02:36,567
I love Imran...
1170
01:02:36,650 --> 01:02:37,650
Imran is now head
of Events security.
1171
01:02:37,733 --> 01:02:39,150
He's Michael's boss.
1172
01:02:39,233 --> 01:02:40,275
You got any questions.
I can handle everything.
1173
01:02:40,358 --> 01:02:41,858
Let me text him now.
1174
01:02:41,942 --> 01:02:42,817
Don't, I'm gonna be the one
with the arrows. So...
1175
01:02:45,942 --> 01:02:47,233
Okay. Done.
1176
01:02:47,317 --> 01:02:48,483
Tomorrow, I'll run you
through the system myself
1177
01:02:48,567 --> 01:02:49,775
and then get you
into the store.
1178
01:02:49,858 --> 01:02:51,025
After that,
what can go wrong?
1179
01:02:51,108 --> 01:02:53,483
Hey, great. Thanks.
1180
01:02:53,567 --> 01:02:55,650
I really appreciate
you doing this for me.
1181
01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:01,025
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
1182
01:03:01,108 --> 01:03:02,733
Days are passing quickly.
1183
01:03:04,608 --> 01:03:05,817
When I woke up this morning,
1184
01:03:05,900 --> 01:03:08,650
it really hit me
for the first time.
1185
01:03:08,733 --> 01:03:11,067
The reality of what's
happening hit me.
1186
01:03:12,567 --> 01:03:14,608
The lockdown
will eventually end.
1187
01:03:15,692 --> 01:03:16,692
Then...
1188
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,442
the love of my life
will be gone.
1189
01:03:22,775 --> 01:03:26,025
Paxton, you will move on
from this. You will heal.
1190
01:03:26,108 --> 01:03:29,067
There'll be a huge hole
in my life.
1191
01:03:29,150 --> 01:03:32,733
You'll change and grow.
And...
1192
01:03:34,442 --> 01:03:36,858
Eventually you'll...
1193
01:03:36,942 --> 01:03:38,108
you'll meet someone else.
1194
01:03:44,108 --> 01:03:46,358
You were talking about
the bike, weren't you?
1195
01:03:46,942 --> 01:03:48,192
Yeah. Why?
1196
01:03:50,067 --> 01:03:54,525
The bike is one
of the loves of my life.
1197
01:03:54,608 --> 01:03:55,775
And I am one of the holes?
1198
01:03:55,858 --> 01:03:57,442
Obviously you're
the biggest hole.
1199
01:03:57,525 --> 01:03:58,567
Oh, why, thank you.
1200
01:04:00,525 --> 01:04:02,900
I was gonna take
the bike out today.
1201
01:04:02,983 --> 01:04:06,108
The streets
are completely deserted.
1202
01:04:06,192 --> 01:04:08,692
I was gonna call it
"Lockdown-one-last-ride."
1203
01:04:09,442 --> 01:04:10,942
I thought maybe...
1204
01:04:12,108 --> 01:04:14,525
Oh, no, I can't
go with you, Paxton.
1205
01:04:14,608 --> 01:04:16,358
No. I have
an important meeting.
1206
01:04:20,983 --> 01:04:23,525
An open road
and a broken heart.
1207
01:04:25,317 --> 01:04:26,733
Don't kill yourself.
1208
01:04:32,233 --> 01:04:33,942
- Linda!
- Michael.
1209
01:04:34,733 --> 01:04:36,775
How are you coping?
1210
01:04:36,858 --> 01:04:38,442
You know, it's been
quite difficult.
1211
01:04:38,525 --> 01:04:40,692
- I can imagine.
- Mmm.
1212
01:04:40,775 --> 01:04:42,650
You know, I'm locked up on a mountaintop
1213
01:04:42,733 --> 01:04:44,942
with only eagles and bears
and my family for company.
1214
01:04:45,025 --> 01:04:46,817
Please don't kill yourself.
1215
01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:48,317
What?
1216
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,900
I said it must be nice
to have time to yourself.
1217
01:04:50,983 --> 01:04:53,942
Anyway, before we get on to
the exciting business of you
1218
01:04:54,025 --> 01:04:56,192
and your big decision
to come home to New York,
1219
01:04:56,275 --> 01:04:59,483
the good news is that we have found
a buyer for the Harris Diamond.
1220
01:04:59,567 --> 01:05:01,442
Uh, actually, I haven't decided
to come home to New York.
1221
01:05:01,525 --> 01:05:04,567
The buyer saw the diamond
on the virtual presentation
1222
01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:06,900
that you put together
ahead of the store takeover.
1223
01:05:06,983 --> 01:05:08,817
That's great. Who is it?
1224
01:05:08,900 --> 01:05:11,817
In our new world, Linda,
1225
01:05:11,900 --> 01:05:13,442
one does not ask who.
He's anonymous.
1226
01:05:13,525 --> 01:05:15,650
But I can tell you this.
He's, um...
1227
01:05:15,733 --> 01:05:18,192
A very unpleasant member
of a very unpleasant family
1228
01:05:18,275 --> 01:05:22,525
who run a very unpleasant
country in a very unpleasant way.
1229
01:05:22,608 --> 01:05:23,900
Oh.
1230
01:05:23,983 --> 01:05:26,025
He is facilitating Miracore
in his country
1231
01:05:26,108 --> 01:05:28,817
and so I've brokered the purchase
of the diamond personally.
1232
01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,650
Harrods themselves will
have nothing to do with him,
1233
01:05:31,733 --> 01:05:34,650
so I have acted
as go-between.
1234
01:05:35,775 --> 01:05:37,525
Hurray for us, no?
1235
01:05:37,608 --> 01:05:39,233
Yes, hurray for us.
1236
01:05:39,317 --> 01:05:42,233
Uh, will he be wanting to
pick up the diamond in person?
1237
01:05:42,317 --> 01:05:45,775
He is not allowed into the UK.
Something to do with, um...
1238
01:05:45,858 --> 01:05:48,525
Money laundering?
Human rights abuses?
1239
01:05:48,608 --> 01:05:51,442
Anyway,
the big question, Linda,
1240
01:05:51,525 --> 01:05:54,733
the issue at hand here
is the future of Linda.
1241
01:05:54,817 --> 01:05:56,525
When will you
be coming home?
1242
01:05:57,317 --> 01:05:58,817
Um...
1243
01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:01,317
Well, I've decided to leave
my decision about New York
1244
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:03,483
until after lockdown
is lifted.
1245
01:06:03,567 --> 01:06:07,442
- Okay.
- I have lots of ties in London.
1246
01:06:07,525 --> 01:06:09,650
Uh-huh. I was told
that you're single.
1247
01:06:13,692 --> 01:06:17,400
Actually, that was never
true, but actually now it is.
1248
01:06:17,483 --> 01:06:21,525
The fact that you are single is one of the
reasons I want you to come to New York.
1249
01:06:21,608 --> 01:06:23,692
I'm planning to get to know
more about you.
1250
01:06:23,775 --> 01:06:24,858
You...
1251
01:06:24,942 --> 01:06:26,400
You fascinate me, Linda.
1252
01:06:26,483 --> 01:06:28,442
So tough on the outside,
1253
01:06:29,108 --> 01:06:30,317
but inside,
1254
01:06:31,483 --> 01:06:32,692
are you tough?
1255
01:06:35,817 --> 01:06:37,983
Do you remember
when you came to Paris?
1256
01:06:38,067 --> 01:06:39,733
That evening,
after the meeting,
1257
01:06:39,817 --> 01:06:41,567
I was going to take you
out to dinner.
1258
01:06:41,650 --> 01:06:45,858
I was actually going to try
to seduce you that night.
1259
01:06:45,942 --> 01:06:50,150
Well, I can only speculate what kind
of evening that might have been.
1260
01:06:50,233 --> 01:06:54,233
But I suspect it would have
involved broken glass.
1261
01:06:54,317 --> 01:06:56,317
Anyway, uh, should I
send the diamond
1262
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:58,150
to this probable
mass murderer's home
1263
01:06:58,233 --> 01:07:01,317
or should I send it straight
to his torture chamber?
1264
01:07:01,900 --> 01:07:03,192
What?
1265
01:07:03,275 --> 01:07:04,900
Where would you like me
to send the diamond?
1266
01:07:06,025 --> 01:07:08,067
Ah, send it to New York.
1267
01:07:08,150 --> 01:07:10,942
Um, because of COVID,
it will be couriered directly
1268
01:07:11,025 --> 01:07:13,442
to a safe vault
in Wall Street.
1269
01:07:13,525 --> 01:07:15,567
There'll be no one
to check it there,
1270
01:07:15,650 --> 01:07:20,108
so please make sure that the
verification papers are in the box.
1271
01:07:20,192 --> 01:07:22,150
Got that?
1272
01:07:22,233 --> 01:07:25,108
- Um...
- For many of our new wave of clients,
1273
01:07:25,192 --> 01:07:28,275
the act of acquisition
is an end in itself.
1274
01:07:28,358 --> 01:07:30,650
Okay. See you in New York, Linda.
Take care.
1275
01:07:30,733 --> 01:07:31,858
Well, I...
1276
01:08:15,692 --> 01:08:17,150
Don't be ridiculous, Linda.
1277
01:08:18,567 --> 01:08:20,192
A shortage of medical masks,
1278
01:08:20,275 --> 01:08:22,275
people are making their own
from old clothing.
1279
01:08:22,358 --> 01:08:24,983
But the WHO said it doesn't
know whether homemade masks...
1280
01:08:25,067 --> 01:08:26,358
Hey.
1281
01:08:26,442 --> 01:08:27,483
Where'd you go?
1282
01:08:27,567 --> 01:08:28,650
Peckham Rye.
1283
01:08:28,733 --> 01:08:31,150
- Why?
- I don't know.
1284
01:08:31,233 --> 01:08:32,733
What do you mean,
you don't know?
1285
01:08:32,817 --> 01:08:34,192
I was just driving
really, really fast,
1286
01:08:34,275 --> 01:08:36,442
because I was being chased
by the police.
1287
01:08:36,525 --> 01:08:38,692
- What?
- I was playing a new lockdown game.
1288
01:08:39,858 --> 01:08:41,650
Green for stop,
red for go.
1289
01:08:41,733 --> 01:08:42,817
Fuck!
1290
01:08:42,900 --> 01:08:44,108
Did they get
your license number?
1291
01:08:44,192 --> 01:08:45,817
No, I'm too fast for 'em.
1292
01:08:45,900 --> 01:08:48,067
I'm a streak of light on an
empty road in a deserted city.
1293
01:08:48,150 --> 01:08:49,983
I'm the last man alive.
1294
01:08:50,067 --> 01:08:53,067
I let the road direct me and I
achieved that moment of transcendence
1295
01:08:53,150 --> 01:08:55,233
where the bike becomes
part of your body.
1296
01:08:55,317 --> 01:08:58,983
I found myself in South London on some
sort of urban farm with a petting zoo
1297
01:08:59,067 --> 01:09:00,692
and I hid among the goats.
1298
01:09:00,775 --> 01:09:03,025
Remember the goat was my totem
animal when we were pagans.
1299
01:09:03,108 --> 01:09:07,525
I sat with the goats and then resumed my
journey as the police cars drove past.
1300
01:09:07,608 --> 01:09:09,192
I was in Peckham.
1301
01:09:09,275 --> 01:09:10,608
I bought you cigarettes.
1302
01:09:10,692 --> 01:09:12,358
And I had one myself.
1303
01:09:12,442 --> 01:09:15,067
My first real, real one
in ten years.
1304
01:09:15,150 --> 01:09:18,525
And you were right,
tobacco tastes like youth!
1305
01:09:18,608 --> 01:09:20,858
And real is real,
and real tobacco is me really,
1306
01:09:20,942 --> 01:09:22,275
and I want another one
right now
1307
01:09:22,358 --> 01:09:23,858
and I'm gonna have one.
1308
01:09:37,525 --> 01:09:40,650
You have a look in your eyes
I haven't seen in a long time.
1309
01:09:40,733 --> 01:09:42,275
I don't mean
to frighten you.
1310
01:09:43,067 --> 01:09:44,317
I'm not frightened.
1311
01:09:46,025 --> 01:09:49,900
Remember I told you about the
glass horse and jockey in Paris?
1312
01:09:49,983 --> 01:09:53,733
No, I'm still with the goats.
They had blue eyes.
1313
01:09:53,817 --> 01:09:55,858
I held the horse and jockey
by the jockey
1314
01:09:55,942 --> 01:09:58,233
and swung it around and...
1315
01:09:58,317 --> 01:10:00,317
And I remembered how it felt
to be a rider
1316
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:03,650
and to feel like you're a part
of the thing that you are riding.
1317
01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,317
It's a sexual feeling.
1318
01:10:06,358 --> 01:10:07,567
Yeah, it is.
1319
01:10:07,650 --> 01:10:10,858
I now wish
I'd come with you.
1320
01:10:11,483 --> 01:10:12,775
Really?
1321
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,275
Paxton,
1322
01:10:15,358 --> 01:10:18,900
for a long time,
I've known that our relationship was over.
1323
01:10:18,983 --> 01:10:22,192
And for a long time, the only unbroken
thread between us has been sex.
1324
01:10:23,483 --> 01:10:24,775
Go on.
1325
01:10:24,858 --> 01:10:27,567
I'm finding this moment
difficult because...
1326
01:10:27,650 --> 01:10:29,400
I made a vow
this wouldn't happen,
1327
01:10:29,483 --> 01:10:32,358
so could you just
take the leather jacket off
1328
01:10:32,442 --> 01:10:34,108
and go hold a tea towel
or something?
1329
01:10:34,192 --> 01:10:36,358
- Hold a tea towel?
- Or buy some milk, it would help me.
1330
01:10:36,442 --> 01:10:39,275
- We have milk.
- Or bake bread. That would definitely kill the moment.
1331
01:10:39,358 --> 01:10:41,608
I just want to get
on my bike and ride
1332
01:10:41,692 --> 01:10:43,067
and fuck the world.
1333
01:10:46,150 --> 01:10:48,817
Okay, Paxton,
here it is.
1334
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:52,275
Probably as a result
of lockdown,
1335
01:10:52,358 --> 01:10:54,775
you have a mad urge to ride your
motorbike through red lights.
1336
01:10:54,858 --> 01:10:56,692
And as of two hours ago,
I have a mad urge
1337
01:10:56,775 --> 01:10:58,317
to steal a diamond
worth three million pounds
1338
01:10:58,400 --> 01:10:59,650
from a mass murderer
1339
01:10:59,733 --> 01:11:00,942
and quit my job
and become an artist.
1340
01:11:01,025 --> 01:11:02,150
What?
1341
01:11:02,233 --> 01:11:03,900
But I think
the most practical thing
1342
01:11:03,983 --> 01:11:05,608
we can do to get this
madness out of our system
1343
01:11:05,692 --> 01:11:08,442
is that I break my vow and
we go upstairs right now
1344
01:11:08,525 --> 01:11:10,025
and have sex.
1345
01:11:10,108 --> 01:11:12,067
"Lockdown-one-last-ride."
1346
01:11:13,900 --> 01:11:15,983
Goats, now this.
1347
01:11:16,067 --> 01:11:17,775
What a fucking day.
1348
01:11:26,483 --> 01:11:29,858
Hi. Yeah, she's, uh, she's just changing.
1349
01:11:30,650 --> 01:11:32,233
Oh, by the way,
1350
01:11:32,317 --> 01:11:34,483
you ever heard of a poet
called Edgar Allan Poe?
1351
01:11:34,567 --> 01:11:36,608
- What?
- Yeah, never mind.
1352
01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:38,483
All right. One second.
1353
01:11:38,567 --> 01:11:40,025
You're listening
to Drive Time with Dominic.
1354
01:11:40,108 --> 01:11:42,275
And this is
George Frideric Handel.
1355
01:11:56,233 --> 01:11:59,692
Please hang up
or press the hash key for more options.
1356
01:11:59,775 --> 01:12:02,733
Uh, Linda, I'm just calling
to say that
1357
01:12:02,817 --> 01:12:04,525
I know this afternoon
didn't mean anything,
1358
01:12:04,608 --> 01:12:09,108
but I want you to know that
it would have felt like, uh...
1359
01:12:10,067 --> 01:12:11,358
like South Dakota
1360
01:12:11,442 --> 01:12:13,150
that afternoon
when it rained.
1361
01:12:14,275 --> 01:12:15,983
And also, I have
this bizarre memory
1362
01:12:16,067 --> 01:12:18,567
that just before we strayed
from the path of righteousness,
1363
01:12:18,650 --> 01:12:20,775
you said something
about stealing a diamond.
1364
01:12:20,858 --> 01:12:22,525
...you said
something about stealing a diamond.
1365
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:25,067
Did I imagine that?
1366
01:12:25,150 --> 01:12:27,733
Oh, God!
1367
01:12:27,817 --> 01:12:29,025
Thank you.
1368
01:12:32,983 --> 01:12:36,400
No, Grandma, I am not
seriously considering it.
1369
01:12:46,483 --> 01:12:47,608
Fuck.
1370
01:12:59,817 --> 01:13:03,483
This is where the
patients usually recover post-surgery.
1371
01:13:03,567 --> 01:13:07,942
But now, it's needed for COVID-19
overflow from intensive care.
1372
01:13:08,025 --> 01:13:11,525
Hospitals are having to adapt
their spaces and practices
1373
01:13:11,608 --> 01:13:13,858
to be able to deal
with Coronavirus.
1374
01:13:13,942 --> 01:13:16,067
I've been a
nurse in ICU for 18 years
1375
01:13:16,150 --> 01:13:17,858
and I've never seen...
1376
01:13:26,025 --> 01:13:27,233
All right.
1377
01:13:28,108 --> 01:13:30,942
Big Saturday. Harrods.
1378
01:13:33,108 --> 01:13:35,067
The grand deception.
1379
01:13:35,150 --> 01:13:37,483
You have to tell me exactly
what it is we have to do.
1380
01:13:38,858 --> 01:13:39,983
Paxton...
1381
01:13:42,525 --> 01:13:44,067
Sit down. Wait there.
1382
01:13:48,233 --> 01:13:51,483
This is just us organizing what
it is that we're gonna do, okay?
1383
01:13:51,567 --> 01:13:53,067
It's nothing else.
1384
01:13:53,150 --> 01:13:54,692
Why, what else
would it be?
1385
01:13:54,775 --> 01:13:56,067
Nothing. Why do you ask?
1386
01:13:57,358 --> 01:13:58,817
Are you okay?
1387
01:13:58,900 --> 01:14:02,942
Me? I am okay.
I am intensely okay and normal.
1388
01:14:03,025 --> 01:14:04,775
Okay. Background.
1389
01:14:04,858 --> 01:14:10,317
Harrods. The top part
is the public area.
1390
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:13,817
But below ground,
there are seven floors.
1391
01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:15,733
Floors where merchandise
is stored
1392
01:14:15,817 --> 01:14:17,067
and lots of tunnels
1393
01:14:17,150 --> 01:14:19,567
where expensive items
such as jewelry
1394
01:14:19,650 --> 01:14:21,317
are transported
to secure elevators.
1395
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:22,983
All grown up
and glamorous above
1396
01:14:23,067 --> 01:14:25,192
and efficient
and scary below.
1397
01:14:25,275 --> 01:14:27,358
Security at Harrods
is unbelievably tight,
1398
01:14:27,442 --> 01:14:28,650
it would be impossible
to get inside
1399
01:14:28,733 --> 01:14:30,650
to actually
steal something.
1400
01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:31,900
Steal?
1401
01:14:31,983 --> 01:14:34,442
Who's talking about
stealing anything?
1402
01:14:34,525 --> 01:14:36,567
Everything is normal.
Paxton, stop being weird.
1403
01:14:36,650 --> 01:14:39,358
It's not me being weird.
1404
01:14:39,442 --> 01:14:41,483
I mean, you clearly appear
to have a hidden agenda,
1405
01:14:41,567 --> 01:14:43,692
which is not really that hidden,
but I don't know what it is.
1406
01:14:43,775 --> 01:14:46,942
Also, you've got
a smudge above your eye.
1407
01:14:47,025 --> 01:14:49,692
Did you get my message
on your phone last night?
1408
01:14:49,775 --> 01:14:51,483
About South Dakota?
1409
01:14:52,317 --> 01:14:53,692
And about a diamond.
1410
01:14:53,775 --> 01:14:56,692
Paxton, what is
the matter with you?
1411
01:14:56,775 --> 01:14:58,858
- There's nothing the matter with me.
- Seriously?
1412
01:14:58,942 --> 01:15:02,858
Yesterday, you were talking
about stealing a diamond.
1413
01:15:02,942 --> 01:15:04,942
You were,
I'm not imagining it.
1414
01:15:05,025 --> 01:15:07,900
And today, you are drawing
Harrods like it's, uh,
1415
01:15:07,983 --> 01:15:10,567
some kind of secret plan
in a secret heist movie.
1416
01:15:10,650 --> 01:15:14,817
How can you draw a rectangle like
you're in a secret plan? I don't...
1417
01:15:14,900 --> 01:15:16,400
Do you have
a secret plan?
1418
01:15:17,275 --> 01:15:19,692
You know...
1419
01:15:19,775 --> 01:15:21,567
I saw my grandmother's
face yesterday.
1420
01:15:21,650 --> 01:15:24,233
I told her, "It's okay,
Grandma, I am fine.
1421
01:15:24,317 --> 01:15:26,233
I'm not going to do
anything stupid."
1422
01:15:26,317 --> 01:15:28,900
You said the diamond
is called a Harris Diamond.
1423
01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,400
Oh, Paxton, come on.
1424
01:15:31,483 --> 01:15:33,608
It's Saturday.
It's morning.
1425
01:15:33,692 --> 01:15:38,650
All the weird 4:00 a.m. fantasies and
options have gone away as they always do.
1426
01:15:38,733 --> 01:15:40,650
Tell me about
the diamond.
1427
01:15:43,358 --> 01:15:45,900
There are
two Harris Diamonds.
1428
01:15:45,983 --> 01:15:49,650
- What?
- There are two Harris Diamonds, okay. God!
1429
01:15:49,733 --> 01:15:51,942
Why are there two?
1430
01:15:52,025 --> 01:15:54,817
Do you think I slept at all
last night, Paxton?
1431
01:15:54,900 --> 01:15:57,025
Well actually, no,
I didn't.
1432
01:15:57,108 --> 01:15:58,942
And what was it
that kept you awake?
1433
01:16:00,983 --> 01:16:03,858
Harris Diamond one,
Harris Diamond two.
1434
01:16:03,942 --> 01:16:09,108
One is real,
the other is fake.
1435
01:16:09,192 --> 01:16:11,275
Whenever a diamond of this
value is exhibited in store,
1436
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:12,525
they use a replica
of the real thing
1437
01:16:12,608 --> 01:16:14,108
to put
into the public area.
1438
01:16:14,192 --> 01:16:16,733
The actual diamond is
kept safe in the vaults.
1439
01:16:16,817 --> 01:16:19,400
Currently, the replica
1440
01:16:19,483 --> 01:16:22,067
is on display here
on the ground floor.
1441
01:16:22,150 --> 01:16:27,858
But your real Harris Diamond
is here in the vaults.
1442
01:16:27,942 --> 01:16:29,442
Tonight,
at exactly 7:00 p.m.,
1443
01:16:29,525 --> 01:16:30,817
you and I will be escorted
to the vaults by security
1444
01:16:30,900 --> 01:16:32,567
to collect
the real Harris Diamond.
1445
01:16:32,650 --> 01:16:34,650
We will then go
up the ground floor
1446
01:16:34,733 --> 01:16:37,150
in a secure elevator
where we add the diamond
1447
01:16:37,233 --> 01:16:39,025
to the rest of the Eve
Schwarz collection.
1448
01:16:39,108 --> 01:16:41,275
Then, right there at 7:30 p.m.,
we will have the real diamond
1449
01:16:41,358 --> 01:16:43,775
and the very good replica
diamond, side by side,
1450
01:16:43,858 --> 01:16:45,858
next to each other,
almost indistinguishable.
1451
01:16:45,942 --> 01:16:47,608
And because
of COVID restrictions,
1452
01:16:47,692 --> 01:16:51,775
the only people that will
be there are you and me.
1453
01:16:51,858 --> 01:16:55,150
So, then we put the real
diamond into a secure box
1454
01:16:55,233 --> 01:16:56,983
and send it to New York,
and we take the glass replica
1455
01:16:57,067 --> 01:16:58,858
and I put it in my purse,
we take it away for disposal,
1456
01:16:58,942 --> 01:17:00,567
and that is what we are going
to fucking do,
1457
01:17:00,650 --> 01:17:03,650
exactly that and nothing else.
Grandma, I love you.
1458
01:17:06,067 --> 01:17:07,650
May I ask
a very obvious question?
1459
01:17:07,733 --> 01:17:09,150
No, you may not.
1460
01:17:09,233 --> 01:17:12,067
What would happen if we sent
the replica to New York
1461
01:17:12,150 --> 01:17:13,483
and kept the real thing?
1462
01:17:13,567 --> 01:17:15,567
I'm assuming that as soon
as it got to New York,
1463
01:17:15,650 --> 01:17:18,317
someone would realize
that it was fake.
1464
01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:20,608
No, they wouldn't.
1465
01:17:20,692 --> 01:17:23,317
That is why
I couldn't sleep.
1466
01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:25,567
Whichever one we send
to New York,
1467
01:17:25,650 --> 01:17:27,733
it will go into a secure
vault in Wall Street
1468
01:17:27,817 --> 01:17:29,733
and won't even be looked at
by another human being
1469
01:17:29,817 --> 01:17:32,442
for 20, 50, 100 years.
1470
01:17:32,525 --> 01:17:33,775
Holy fuck.
1471
01:17:35,775 --> 01:17:39,358
Three million pounds,
tax free.
1472
01:17:40,150 --> 01:17:41,233
No consequences.
1473
01:17:41,317 --> 01:17:42,525
One for me, one for you,
one for the NHS.
1474
01:17:42,608 --> 01:17:43,692
You have thought
about this.
1475
01:17:43,775 --> 01:17:46,858
You know,
I need to go meditate.
1476
01:17:46,942 --> 01:17:49,025
Are you sure they
won't check it in New York?
1477
01:17:49,108 --> 01:17:50,317
Shut up.
I need to meditate.
1478
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:51,817
What were you going to say?
1479
01:17:53,067 --> 01:17:54,817
The man who bought
the diamond is bad.
1480
01:17:54,900 --> 01:17:56,775
He's really bad,
and you and I are good.
1481
01:17:56,858 --> 01:17:59,067
And the NHS is good.
And good is better than bad.
1482
01:17:59,150 --> 01:18:00,525
When I explained
all that to Grandma,
1483
01:18:00,608 --> 01:18:01,983
even she said,
"Well, yeah, that's true."
1484
01:18:02,067 --> 01:18:04,525
And she was a Calvinist,
straight as a rod.
1485
01:18:04,608 --> 01:18:07,775
Unlike me, who is weak
in the face of temptation.
1486
01:18:11,150 --> 01:18:12,858
Live wild or die, Linda.
1487
01:18:12,942 --> 01:18:15,858
Paxton, you're forgetting
something very important, okay?
1488
01:18:15,942 --> 01:18:17,983
Assuming that
we do this thing,
1489
01:18:18,067 --> 01:18:20,067
which we definitely won't,
1490
01:18:20,150 --> 01:18:22,400
how would two ordinary people
like you and me
1491
01:18:22,483 --> 01:18:26,817
find a way to sell a three
million pounds stolen diamond?
1492
01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:28,483
Okay, that was it.
That was my last attempt
1493
01:18:28,567 --> 01:18:30,067
to find a logical reason
why we shouldn't do this,
1494
01:18:30,150 --> 01:18:32,233
but you are going to say
"Archie Bruce," aren't you?
1495
01:18:32,317 --> 01:18:33,817
Yes, I am.
1496
01:18:34,692 --> 01:18:35,733
Archie Bruce.
1497
01:18:37,192 --> 01:18:40,275
Over the years,
I've kept up with the guys.
1498
01:18:40,358 --> 01:18:41,567
I mean, Archie Bruce,
1499
01:18:41,650 --> 01:18:43,608
he's graduated
from stealing motorcycles
1500
01:18:43,692 --> 01:18:46,108
to stealing vintage cars
1501
01:18:46,192 --> 01:18:48,108
and fine art and jewelry.
1502
01:18:48,192 --> 01:18:51,275
I mean, he'd have Mr. Harris
in a penthouse in Moscow
1503
01:18:51,358 --> 01:18:53,108
before the banging
of the next saucepans.
1504
01:18:53,192 --> 01:18:54,775
And he'd do a preferential
deal with you,
1505
01:18:54,858 --> 01:18:57,025
because you stepped in
one night and saved his life
1506
01:18:57,108 --> 01:18:59,983
at a roadhouse in Watford.
1507
01:19:00,067 --> 01:19:01,650
Circle of life,
something like that.
1508
01:19:03,692 --> 01:19:06,442
With Archie Bruce,
the nightmare began.
1509
01:19:06,525 --> 01:19:08,817
Maybe with Archie Bruce,
the nightmare ends.
1510
01:19:11,025 --> 01:19:15,608
So, what are we
going to do, Linda?
1511
01:19:19,067 --> 01:19:21,858
Okay, Paxton, here it is.
1512
01:19:24,108 --> 01:19:26,400
We decide tonight.
1513
01:19:26,483 --> 01:19:28,483
When we're there at Harrods
with the diamonds,
1514
01:19:28,567 --> 01:19:30,150
we're gonna know what's right
and what's wrong.
1515
01:19:30,233 --> 01:19:32,608
We'll decide in the moment.
1516
01:19:32,692 --> 01:19:34,108
Or let the moment decide.
1517
01:19:36,317 --> 01:19:37,400
What's the difference?
1518
01:19:37,483 --> 01:19:39,567
Fate versus free will.
1519
01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:41,400
Who controls our destiny?
1520
01:19:41,483 --> 01:19:42,775
Is everything
part of a plan
1521
01:19:42,858 --> 01:19:44,817
or do we fuck things up
for ourselves?
1522
01:19:46,442 --> 01:19:48,483
Tonight at 7:30,
we find out.
1523
01:19:57,567 --> 01:19:58,650
Hey, half-brother.
1524
01:20:00,275 --> 01:20:02,692
What, now?
You wanna Zoom?
1525
01:20:03,858 --> 01:20:05,775
All right,
give me a minute.
1526
01:20:12,817 --> 01:20:16,608
Ah, Paxton,
how are you?
1527
01:20:16,692 --> 01:20:19,192
Actually, I am at a fork
in the road.
1528
01:20:19,275 --> 01:20:21,608
Really? Then perhaps
what I have to say
1529
01:20:21,692 --> 01:20:23,275
will have some bearing
on which fork you take,
1530
01:20:23,358 --> 01:20:24,983
because it is
sort of road related.
1531
01:20:26,858 --> 01:20:28,983
You see, Paxton,
the other day when you said
1532
01:20:29,067 --> 01:20:30,692
you want
to sell your motorcycle,
1533
01:20:30,775 --> 01:20:35,192
I thought, "Wait a minute.
Time out. Not so fast."
1534
01:20:35,275 --> 01:20:40,525
And then, after I cut the
call I thought about Mom.
1535
01:20:40,608 --> 01:20:41,983
Mum?
1536
01:20:42,067 --> 01:20:43,400
How she would feel
about you having to sell
1537
01:20:43,483 --> 01:20:44,858
your most
precious possession,
1538
01:20:44,942 --> 01:20:46,233
while at the same time,
over here
1539
01:20:46,317 --> 01:20:48,067
in the beautiful
Hudson Valley,
1540
01:20:48,150 --> 01:20:50,567
your brother, your half-brother
isn't having it so bad.
1541
01:20:50,650 --> 01:20:55,108
You know, when the cherry trees
in your orchard get a fungus,
1542
01:20:55,192 --> 01:20:57,817
it sucks,
but there are worse things.
1543
01:20:59,983 --> 01:21:01,400
Yeah, not for the cherry tree.
1544
01:21:01,483 --> 01:21:02,733
Maybe worse for a cherry tree
1545
01:21:02,817 --> 01:21:04,275
is the steady tread
of George Washington
1546
01:21:04,358 --> 01:21:05,608
as he approaches
with an axe in his hand
1547
01:21:05,692 --> 01:21:07,567
and a head
full of good intentions.
1548
01:21:07,650 --> 01:21:10,483
Anyway, I wondered what Mom
would want me to do.
1549
01:21:10,567 --> 01:21:11,900
Well, remembering Mum,
1550
01:21:11,983 --> 01:21:13,567
I think she'd want you
to get to the point.
1551
01:21:15,483 --> 01:21:18,067
Okay, Paxton, here it is.
1552
01:21:19,567 --> 01:21:22,942
It is I who has bought
your precious motorcycle.
1553
01:21:23,025 --> 01:21:25,775
The purchaser
of your bike is me.
1554
01:21:25,858 --> 01:21:27,817
And I am
giving it back to you.
1555
01:21:27,900 --> 01:21:30,608
My gesture,
half-brother to half-brother.
1556
01:21:30,692 --> 01:21:33,692
Your bike is yours
once more.
1557
01:21:33,775 --> 01:21:35,358
Don't thank me, Paxton.
1558
01:21:35,442 --> 01:21:36,983
Please. No need.
1559
01:21:37,067 --> 01:21:40,067
All I ask, the only thing
I ask of you, Paxton,
1560
01:21:40,150 --> 01:21:43,275
is that you are kind to
yourself from now on.
1561
01:21:43,358 --> 01:21:44,983
That you learn from this.
1562
01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:46,608
That the world
does not hate you.
1563
01:21:46,692 --> 01:21:49,483
That, yes, sometimes fate
seems harsh and cruel,
1564
01:21:49,567 --> 01:21:51,692
but people really do
what good...
1565
01:21:51,775 --> 01:21:55,233
Hey, David,
it's Linda. Hi!
1566
01:21:55,317 --> 01:21:57,775
Uh, Linda, I thought I was
just speaking to Paxton.
1567
01:21:57,858 --> 01:21:59,942
Yes, I know. I heard, David,
your magnificent gesture,
1568
01:22:00,025 --> 01:22:01,775
and I just...
I couldn't stop myself,
1569
01:22:01,858 --> 01:22:03,567
I couldn't help myself.
I just had to jump on the call
1570
01:22:03,650 --> 01:22:05,817
and say,
"Oh, my God, David.
1571
01:22:05,900 --> 01:22:07,192
What kind
of a person are you?"
1572
01:22:07,275 --> 01:22:08,775
David bought
my fucking bike.
1573
01:22:08,858 --> 01:22:11,692
Yes, I heard. I heard,
and then I heard the sermon,
1574
01:22:11,775 --> 01:22:13,025
and I thought, "Wow!
1575
01:22:13,108 --> 01:22:15,150
Not only is he so generous
with his cash,
1576
01:22:15,233 --> 01:22:17,442
he is so free
with his wisdom."
1577
01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:21,025
- Anyway, Paxton, there it is...
- No, no, no.
1578
01:22:21,108 --> 01:22:22,858
Don't let me interrupt
this meaningful moment.
1579
01:22:22,942 --> 01:22:24,317
What is it that
you were saying, David?
1580
01:22:24,400 --> 01:22:25,358
Something about fate
being harsh and...
1581
01:22:25,442 --> 01:22:26,942
...cruel?
1582
01:22:30,900 --> 01:22:32,108
Hmm.
1583
01:22:37,233 --> 01:22:38,442
Why were you mad at him?
1584
01:22:38,525 --> 01:22:40,025
- I wasn't mad.
- Yes, you were.
1585
01:22:41,525 --> 01:22:43,108
It was you.
1586
01:22:44,067 --> 01:22:45,567
You bought my bike.
1587
01:22:45,650 --> 01:22:48,858
Paxton, don't be ridiculous.
You heard what David said.
1588
01:22:48,942 --> 01:22:51,150
David would never do
something like that,
1589
01:22:51,233 --> 01:22:52,525
but he would
take the credit.
1590
01:22:52,608 --> 01:22:54,192
Whereas you would do
something like that
1591
01:22:54,275 --> 01:22:56,483
and give the credit
to someone else.
1592
01:22:56,567 --> 01:22:58,275
You did it 'cause you
felt sorry for me.
1593
01:23:00,192 --> 01:23:02,775
Yes, I worried
about what would happen
1594
01:23:02,858 --> 01:23:04,900
if you lost everything.
1595
01:23:04,983 --> 01:23:07,233
Mainly because I didn't want
anything bad on my conscience.
1596
01:23:07,317 --> 01:23:09,942
Confession avalanche,
but also I...
1597
01:23:10,025 --> 01:23:12,192
I did it because
the bike represents us.
1598
01:23:12,275 --> 01:23:13,858
- And...
- No, no, no.
1599
01:23:13,942 --> 01:23:18,358
Pity is over here, all right,
and love is way over here.
1600
01:23:18,442 --> 01:23:20,025
Don't pretend
there is a bridge.
1601
01:23:22,275 --> 01:23:24,150
But would you still
feel pity for a man
1602
01:23:24,233 --> 01:23:26,067
who'd just stolen
a million pounds?
1603
01:23:28,567 --> 01:23:29,608
I'd be a millionaire,
1604
01:23:30,483 --> 01:23:32,567
and a bandido once again.
1605
01:23:34,317 --> 01:23:35,817
Maybe you'd change
your mind.
1606
01:23:37,150 --> 01:23:39,067
Maybe we'd ride off
into the sunset.
1607
01:23:39,983 --> 01:23:41,483
Paxton...
1608
01:23:41,567 --> 01:23:44,150
whatever we decide
to do tonight,
1609
01:23:44,233 --> 01:23:45,567
we will go
our separate ways.
1610
01:23:45,650 --> 01:23:48,400
The money would mean
that we're both free.
1611
01:23:51,650 --> 01:23:52,692
Well, I will factor that
1612
01:23:52,775 --> 01:23:54,983
into my decision-making
process.
1613
01:23:57,483 --> 01:23:58,817
Thanks for the bike.
1614
01:24:09,442 --> 01:24:10,900
Om...
1615
01:24:10,983 --> 01:24:12,942
Ladies and gentlemen...
1616
01:24:13,983 --> 01:24:15,150
fellow inmates...
1617
01:24:16,525 --> 01:24:18,650
I have something for you
1618
01:24:18,733 --> 01:24:20,942
before I head off
on the number 27 bus
1619
01:24:21,025 --> 01:24:23,650
to meet my destiny.
1620
01:24:23,733 --> 01:24:26,192
It's a passage
from a poem
1621
01:24:27,108 --> 01:24:30,025
written by T.S. Eliot,
1622
01:24:30,108 --> 01:24:31,900
who I'm sure no one
has ever heard of either.
1623
01:24:34,108 --> 01:24:38,233
"She turns and looks a moment
in the glass,
1624
01:24:38,317 --> 01:24:42,275
hardly aware
of her departed lover.
1625
01:24:42,358 --> 01:24:46,400
Her brain allows one
half-formed thought to pass.
1626
01:24:47,733 --> 01:24:51,733
Well, now that's done,
and I'm glad it's over."
1627
01:24:56,233 --> 01:24:58,525
See you
in the moment, Linda.
1628
01:25:16,192 --> 01:25:18,483
This could be
the last bus I ever take.
1629
01:25:37,192 --> 01:25:39,275
Oh, I've decided
to go by myself. Thanks.
1630
01:25:39,358 --> 01:25:41,192
- No problem.
- Thank you.
1631
01:26:20,067 --> 01:26:25,400
Do it, Paxton. Take the
opportunity that fate has given you.
1632
01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:05,275
- Hi, stranger.
- Oh, my God!
1633
01:29:05,358 --> 01:29:07,067
I want to hug you.
1634
01:29:07,150 --> 01:29:08,567
I can't hug you,
I can't hug you.
1635
01:29:08,650 --> 01:29:09,817
I hate this virus.
1636
01:29:09,900 --> 01:29:11,358
I'm blowing you kisses.
1637
01:29:11,442 --> 01:29:12,858
- Oh, my God.
- Hello, stranger.
1638
01:29:12,942 --> 01:29:15,025
Hey, oh...
1639
01:29:15,108 --> 01:29:16,650
This place died
when you left.
1640
01:29:16,733 --> 01:29:18,275
Oh, Charlotte,
I need to know the name
1641
01:29:18,358 --> 01:29:20,400
of your personal trainer
right now, seriously.
1642
01:29:20,483 --> 01:29:22,233
I actually lost weight
because of stress,
1643
01:29:22,317 --> 01:29:23,483
'cause I found out
my girlfriend
1644
01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:25,067
was stealing a load of money
from me.
1645
01:29:25,150 --> 01:29:26,025
- What?
- Long story.
1646
01:29:26,108 --> 01:29:27,233
That's not for right now.
1647
01:29:27,317 --> 01:29:28,608
- Hi!
- Hi.
1648
01:29:28,692 --> 01:29:33,025
Terry, yeah.
Terry, guess who's here?
1649
01:29:33,108 --> 01:29:35,025
Yeah, have a little look
at Cam 14.
1650
01:29:39,275 --> 01:29:41,025
Oh, shit,
it's Linda.
1651
01:29:42,525 --> 01:29:44,275
So, Linda,
what are you doing here?
1652
01:29:44,358 --> 01:29:46,108
Oh, I'm not
on the list, because I made
1653
01:29:46,192 --> 01:29:47,483
a special arrangement
with Imran,
1654
01:29:47,567 --> 01:29:48,858
so I just need a desk
for five minutes.
1655
01:29:48,942 --> 01:29:51,775
Or three minutes.
Charlotte, can I?
1656
01:29:51,858 --> 01:29:53,817
- Come through.
- Okay. Oh!
1657
01:29:53,900 --> 01:29:55,650
I need to wait
for my, um, driver.
1658
01:29:55,733 --> 01:29:57,567
Oh, hang on.
Excuse me.
1659
01:29:59,358 --> 01:30:01,525
Hi.
B2B Pro Freight Services?
1660
01:30:01,608 --> 01:30:02,817
Yeah.
1661
01:30:02,900 --> 01:30:03,983
For the Eve Schwarz
collection?
1662
01:30:04,067 --> 01:30:05,358
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah?
1663
01:30:05,442 --> 01:30:07,775
Okay, just wait here
for one second. Okay.
1664
01:30:07,858 --> 01:30:11,567
We couldn't get
our normal freight service.
1665
01:30:11,650 --> 01:30:13,150
World's gone mad.
1666
01:30:13,233 --> 01:30:14,483
I'm going to have to run a
hundred checks on this guy.
1667
01:30:14,567 --> 01:30:15,983
We'll just need
to see his ID.
1668
01:30:16,067 --> 01:30:17,858
And Imran said we do need
to check the driver's ID.
1669
01:30:20,233 --> 01:30:21,442
Of course.
1670
01:30:26,275 --> 01:30:27,983
Yeah,
can I see your ID?
1671
01:30:34,233 --> 01:30:35,817
Thank you.
1672
01:30:35,900 --> 01:30:37,483
Oops.
1673
01:30:48,108 --> 01:30:49,317
Oh, my God, Charlotte.
1674
01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:51,650
I didn't tell you.
You of all people.
1675
01:30:51,733 --> 01:30:52,817
What?
1676
01:30:52,900 --> 01:30:54,150
It's just
the most earth-shattering,
1677
01:30:54,233 --> 01:30:55,650
life-changing,
amazing news.
1678
01:30:55,733 --> 01:30:57,483
I found someone.
I met someone.
1679
01:30:57,567 --> 01:30:59,275
- No.
- Yes.
1680
01:30:59,358 --> 01:31:00,775
Oh, my God. I thought you were
going to be single forever.
1681
01:31:00,858 --> 01:31:02,483
- Me, too!
- Dating app? Bumble?
1682
01:31:02,567 --> 01:31:04,817
- What's he like?
- He's, uh...
1683
01:31:07,108 --> 01:31:08,525
He's a poet.
1684
01:31:08,608 --> 01:31:09,983
- Oh?
- Yeah.
1685
01:31:10,067 --> 01:31:11,567
Yeah, he's like
a really wild poet.
1686
01:31:11,650 --> 01:31:12,942
Oh, my God,
that's so romantic.
1687
01:31:13,025 --> 01:31:14,400
Hmm, I know.
1688
01:31:14,483 --> 01:31:16,192
But listen, I've got a slot
in the vaults at 7:00.
1689
01:31:16,275 --> 01:31:18,358
- I gotta get this guy processed. Thank you.
- Mmm-hmm.
1690
01:31:18,442 --> 01:31:21,192
- Linda...
- Oh, life, life.
1691
01:31:21,275 --> 01:31:23,025
Right? You never know
what's coming down the line.
1692
01:31:23,108 --> 01:31:24,733
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
1693
01:31:27,525 --> 01:31:28,942
We're good.
1694
01:31:31,858 --> 01:31:33,525
Thank you, Mark.
1695
01:31:33,608 --> 01:31:35,150
Anything for you, Linda.
1696
01:31:37,275 --> 01:31:40,483
Okay, I'm going to
generate you a Harrods pass
1697
01:31:40,567 --> 01:31:42,650
that will give you access
to all areas.
1698
01:31:42,733 --> 01:31:46,233
- Date of birth.
- January 19th, 1809.
1699
01:31:46,317 --> 01:31:49,733
But I didn't have my first
poem published until 1827.
1700
01:31:50,733 --> 01:31:52,150
Okay, that's good.
That's good.
1701
01:31:52,233 --> 01:31:54,400
You're taking it lightly.
You're not panicking.
1702
01:31:54,483 --> 01:31:56,608
January 19th, 1980.
1703
01:31:56,692 --> 01:31:58,233
Height, six feet.
1704
01:31:58,317 --> 01:31:59,733
- Build...
- Medium athletic.
1705
01:31:59,817 --> 01:32:02,025
And inside, I am panicking.
1706
01:32:02,108 --> 01:32:04,900
You do realize that we've
both gone fucking insane.
1707
01:32:04,983 --> 01:32:07,108
We haven't done
anything yet.
1708
01:32:07,192 --> 01:32:10,733
Criminal convictions, none.
1709
01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:12,317
So, when does
the moment begin?
1710
01:32:12,400 --> 01:32:15,025
The moment when we decide.
1711
01:32:15,108 --> 01:32:17,150
In the CCTV control room,
1712
01:32:17,233 --> 01:32:19,900
there's a deaf man
who reads lips.
1713
01:32:19,983 --> 01:32:22,108
Shut up. Look here.
1714
01:32:22,942 --> 01:32:24,733
Why are you good at this?
1715
01:32:32,858 --> 01:32:34,192
Oh, Linda.
1716
01:32:34,275 --> 01:32:36,108
I just need to get
the gentleman's name
1717
01:32:36,192 --> 01:32:38,108
in case of a fire, so...
1718
01:32:39,192 --> 01:32:41,192
- His name?
- Mmm-hmm.
1719
01:32:41,275 --> 01:32:42,733
Edgar Allen Poe.
1720
01:32:45,942 --> 01:32:47,483
Uh, Edgar...
1721
01:32:48,192 --> 01:32:51,067
Edgar Allen Poe.
1722
01:32:51,150 --> 01:32:52,650
Great, thanks.
1723
01:32:55,025 --> 01:32:56,775
This is the first time
Harrods has been closed
1724
01:32:56,858 --> 01:32:59,442
in a hundred years.
1725
01:32:59,525 --> 01:33:02,233
Everything has to get packed
up and put into boxes.
1726
01:33:02,317 --> 01:33:05,317
Pearls, purses,
fine art, fine jewelry.
1727
01:33:05,400 --> 01:33:06,317
Diamonds.
1728
01:33:06,400 --> 01:33:08,025
Yeah. Diamonds.
1729
01:33:13,358 --> 01:33:14,983
Remember that game
we used to play
1730
01:33:15,067 --> 01:33:16,733
when we are alone
in an elevator,
1731
01:33:16,817 --> 01:33:18,317
we ask
each other questions,
1732
01:33:18,400 --> 01:33:19,942
and we are only allowed
to tell the absolute truth?
1733
01:33:21,442 --> 01:33:22,817
Shoot.
1734
01:33:22,900 --> 01:33:25,233
What went wrong
with you and me?
1735
01:33:27,442 --> 01:33:30,150
When I met you,
I wanted wild and you were wild.
1736
01:33:30,233 --> 01:33:34,817
And then, I stopped wanting
wild, and you stopped being wild.
1737
01:33:36,567 --> 01:33:38,275
- So, it should have worked.
- Yeah, but it didn't.
1738
01:33:38,358 --> 01:33:39,983
- Why not?
- I don't know.
1739
01:33:40,067 --> 01:33:43,650
That's the truth.
1740
01:33:43,733 --> 01:33:46,108
Doors opening.
1741
01:33:47,317 --> 01:33:49,483
- Are you hungry?
- Yeah.
1742
01:34:11,775 --> 01:34:14,692
We have an hour
until our slot in the vaults,
1743
01:34:14,775 --> 01:34:17,192
so what do you want
to eat, Paxton?
1744
01:34:17,275 --> 01:34:18,983
There is
literally everything.
1745
01:34:22,275 --> 01:34:24,108
With the store closing,
Harrods is gonna give
1746
01:34:24,192 --> 01:34:26,025
all of this food away
to a food bank.
1747
01:34:31,067 --> 01:34:32,275
Fine.
1748
01:34:33,150 --> 01:34:34,733
Is there anybody watching?
1749
01:34:35,317 --> 01:34:36,233
Maybe.
1750
01:34:37,692 --> 01:34:38,983
Dream bigger.
1751
01:34:43,150 --> 01:34:44,775
Finest beluga caviar?
1752
01:34:56,858 --> 01:34:58,317
So is this the moment?
1753
01:34:58,858 --> 01:35:00,483
No.
1754
01:35:00,567 --> 01:35:03,817
No. We gotta get something clear
before we make up our mind.
1755
01:35:03,900 --> 01:35:06,067
This is a black Perigord
truffle from Italy.
1756
01:35:06,150 --> 01:35:08,442
It retails for £735.
1757
01:35:08,525 --> 01:35:10,067
- For a fucking mushroom?
- Okay.
1758
01:35:10,150 --> 01:35:11,858
Okay, that is what we need
to get clear in our minds.
1759
01:35:11,942 --> 01:35:13,733
What is the difference
between the cost of things,
1760
01:35:13,817 --> 01:35:15,400
and the value of things
to you and me?
1761
01:35:15,483 --> 01:35:16,775
So, I'm gonna
make a picnic.
1762
01:35:16,858 --> 01:35:17,942
A picnic which
under normal circumstances
1763
01:35:18,025 --> 01:35:20,192
would cost us about £5,000.
1764
01:35:49,858 --> 01:35:51,192
Door's closing.
1765
01:35:51,275 --> 01:35:53,150
My precious grandma
was a racist.
1766
01:35:53,233 --> 01:35:54,567
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
1767
01:35:54,650 --> 01:35:56,192
And I've just decided
to take her off
1768
01:35:56,275 --> 01:35:57,483
my in-head jury of people
1769
01:35:57,567 --> 01:35:59,192
who pass judgment
on what I do.
1770
01:36:01,483 --> 01:36:02,858
So, who else
is on the jury?
1771
01:36:04,233 --> 01:36:05,775
My dead mother,
God and you.
1772
01:36:06,567 --> 01:36:08,108
How come I'm still there?
1773
01:36:08,192 --> 01:36:09,692
Door's opening.
1774
01:36:09,775 --> 01:36:12,192
Doors are open,
I don't have to tell you.
1775
01:36:14,733 --> 01:36:17,067
I used to come in here
on my lunch break.
1776
01:36:23,067 --> 01:36:25,483
So which one of
those paintings do you want?
1777
01:36:25,567 --> 01:36:28,608
Uh,
I don't want to own one.
1778
01:36:29,733 --> 01:36:31,525
You want to paint one.
1779
01:36:31,608 --> 01:36:34,317
I just want to paint.
1780
01:36:36,358 --> 01:36:38,150
So, this is the moment.
1781
01:36:38,233 --> 01:36:39,692
Oh, wait.
1782
01:36:39,775 --> 01:36:41,942
- Is the deaf guy looking?
- What?
1783
01:36:42,025 --> 01:36:44,733
Oh, I made that guy up
so you would stop talking.
1784
01:36:44,817 --> 01:36:46,192
Ah.
1785
01:36:46,275 --> 01:36:47,942
Think about it.
1786
01:36:48,025 --> 01:36:52,233
£100,000 a year for ten years.
£50,000 a year for 20 years.
1787
01:36:52,317 --> 01:36:54,108
- A million pounds.
- Yeah.
1788
01:36:54,192 --> 01:36:55,400
You could paint.
1789
01:36:55,483 --> 01:36:57,108
You wouldn't even need
to sell anything.
1790
01:36:57,192 --> 01:37:00,692
Door's closing.
1791
01:37:00,775 --> 01:37:02,858
I never learned
to ride a bicycle.
1792
01:37:02,942 --> 01:37:03,900
- What?
- Yeah.
1793
01:37:03,983 --> 01:37:05,108
- Never?
- Yeah.
1794
01:37:05,192 --> 01:37:06,692
Went straight
to the motorcycle.
1795
01:37:08,317 --> 01:37:11,025
Before Christmas,
I had a sexual encounter with Maria,
1796
01:37:11,108 --> 01:37:12,692
and it was great.
1797
01:37:12,775 --> 01:37:14,400
Door's opening.
1798
01:37:18,025 --> 01:37:22,192
Okay, so we've established
that we both want freedom.
1799
01:37:22,275 --> 01:37:25,275
- Maria, really?
- Oh, Paxton.
1800
01:37:25,358 --> 01:37:27,983
Paxton, we are about to make
the most important decision
1801
01:37:28,067 --> 01:37:29,942
of our lives.
Can you concentrate?
1802
01:37:31,192 --> 01:37:33,525
Okay, in our
decision-making process,
1803
01:37:33,608 --> 01:37:35,733
we haven't yet
discussed morality.
1804
01:37:35,817 --> 01:37:37,650
Look at that. That is...
1805
01:37:37,733 --> 01:37:40,775
That's a whole city
in lockdown.
1806
01:37:40,858 --> 01:37:43,233
Hospitals can't cope.
A million pounds would help.
1807
01:37:43,317 --> 01:37:46,067
We'd be doing good.
Plus, I worked it out.
1808
01:37:46,150 --> 01:37:47,900
If it's in 50s,
it all fits in one suitcase.
1809
01:37:47,983 --> 01:37:49,608
You can leave it on a doorstep.
Take that, Grandma.
1810
01:37:49,692 --> 01:37:52,900
- You got rid of Grandma.
- Yes, I did. Thank you.
1811
01:37:52,983 --> 01:37:55,983
So, okay, we do it.
1812
01:37:57,192 --> 01:37:58,192
Fuck it.
1813
01:37:59,025 --> 01:38:00,567
We decide right now.
1814
01:38:02,025 --> 01:38:02,942
Okay.
1815
01:38:06,067 --> 01:38:07,900
Previously,
I would have kissed you.
1816
01:38:10,192 --> 01:38:11,983
Let's just see
what happens.
1817
01:38:31,525 --> 01:38:33,942
- Okay.
- Fuck.
1818
01:38:34,025 --> 01:38:35,525
- Maria?
- Okay, it's time to go.
1819
01:38:35,608 --> 01:38:37,608
- Really?
- We gotta go to the vaults.
1820
01:38:39,692 --> 01:38:41,817
So, are we gonna
do it or not?
1821
01:38:57,358 --> 01:38:59,192
Are you okay?
1822
01:38:59,275 --> 01:39:01,608
God, no.
1823
01:39:01,692 --> 01:39:03,733
Is God really part
of your in-head jury?
1824
01:39:03,817 --> 01:39:05,025
Uh-huh.
1825
01:39:05,108 --> 01:39:06,858
And for the record,
God is absolutely fine
1826
01:39:06,942 --> 01:39:08,733
with whatever it is
that we decide to do.
1827
01:39:09,608 --> 01:39:11,025
That's good to know.
1828
01:39:12,567 --> 01:39:14,400
- Hi, there. P.J., right?
- Yes, miss.
1829
01:39:14,483 --> 01:39:15,900
Lead the way.
1830
01:39:18,400 --> 01:39:21,025
Why does the name Edgar
Allen Poe ring a bell?
1831
01:39:34,983 --> 01:39:36,608
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1832
01:40:02,317 --> 01:40:03,900
You're shipping
that thing to New York?
1833
01:40:35,983 --> 01:40:37,525
- It's an underwater theme.
- Yeah.
1834
01:40:37,608 --> 01:40:39,900
- My idea.
- It's nice.
1835
01:40:39,983 --> 01:40:41,983
You're very good at what you do.
What you did.
1836
01:40:43,775 --> 01:40:45,317
Okay, so we only need
to pack up
1837
01:40:45,400 --> 01:40:46,733
the jewelry and accessories.
1838
01:40:46,817 --> 01:40:48,150
The clothing
all goes downstairs,
1839
01:40:48,233 --> 01:40:49,358
so it shouldn't
take too long.
1840
01:40:49,442 --> 01:40:51,150
Yeah, not too long,
so, uh...
1841
01:40:52,192 --> 01:40:53,567
Shall I take it out?
1842
01:40:54,483 --> 01:40:56,525
Yes. Why not?
1843
01:41:04,692 --> 01:41:05,858
Okay.
1844
01:41:25,733 --> 01:41:27,233
Do it quickly,
the fish are piranhas.
1845
01:41:27,317 --> 01:41:30,483
- What?
- It's meant to be symbolic.
1846
01:41:30,567 --> 01:41:31,983
- Symbolic of...
- I don't remember, okay.
1847
01:41:32,067 --> 01:41:33,483
Just do it faster.
1848
01:41:33,567 --> 01:41:35,275
You'll be fine.
1849
01:41:51,442 --> 01:41:52,983
So, this is the moment.
1850
01:41:54,608 --> 01:41:57,650
Just seems so easy.
1851
01:41:57,733 --> 01:41:59,733
It's never been
about can we do it, Paxton.
1852
01:41:59,817 --> 01:42:01,608
It's about...
should we do it?
1853
01:42:01,692 --> 01:42:03,400
And will we do it?
It's about you and me.
1854
01:42:03,483 --> 01:42:06,067
And I'm not saying
that we are going to do it,
1855
01:42:06,150 --> 01:42:10,192
but if we are, then you would need
to take one step to your left.
1856
01:42:12,942 --> 01:42:15,150
So, shall I take the step?
1857
01:42:17,192 --> 01:42:18,650
Take the step.
Then, we decide.
1858
01:42:23,233 --> 01:42:24,692
Linda...
1859
01:42:24,775 --> 01:42:25,733
if we are deciding
in the moment,
1860
01:42:25,817 --> 01:42:27,692
then I say we do it.
1861
01:42:27,775 --> 01:42:29,442
If we are letting
the moment decide,
1862
01:42:29,525 --> 01:42:33,525
then, in my opinion,
the moment is saying loud and clear...
1863
01:42:33,608 --> 01:42:34,983
"Put the replica
in the fucking box
1864
01:42:35,067 --> 01:42:36,983
and put the real thing
in your bag."
1865
01:42:39,108 --> 01:42:43,650
Freedom, Linda,
in one beautiful moment.
1866
01:43:16,150 --> 01:43:17,650
Okay.
1867
01:43:18,650 --> 01:43:19,817
Okay.
1868
01:43:22,150 --> 01:43:23,442
- It's under control.
- It's under control.
1869
01:43:23,525 --> 01:43:25,608
- Under control.
- Yeah.
1870
01:43:27,567 --> 01:43:30,733
I think we should start
with the handbags,
1871
01:43:30,817 --> 01:43:33,858
and, uh, we
should get the dust bags...
1872
01:43:33,942 --> 01:43:35,150
Linda!
1873
01:43:35,233 --> 01:43:36,442
- Linda, it's me.
- Donald.
1874
01:43:36,525 --> 01:43:39,608
I need to speak to you
urgently.
1875
01:43:39,692 --> 01:43:42,442
Um, excuse me,
could you please take a stroll
1876
01:43:42,525 --> 01:43:44,192
or something for a moment?
1877
01:43:44,275 --> 01:43:46,692
I have some very important
things to say to my colleague.
1878
01:43:48,608 --> 01:43:50,775
Uh... Uh-huh.
1879
01:43:53,275 --> 01:43:54,567
Uh...
1880
01:43:55,067 --> 01:43:56,317
Donald...
1881
01:43:56,400 --> 01:43:59,067
Well, goodness,
I thought that I fired you,
1882
01:43:59,150 --> 01:44:00,483
but you're here.
1883
01:44:00,567 --> 01:44:02,983
Linda, listen. Someone made
an anonymous call
1884
01:44:03,067 --> 01:44:04,650
to Miracore head office.
1885
01:44:04,733 --> 01:44:06,983
They said that the driver
from B2B
1886
01:44:07,067 --> 01:44:08,942
who is carrying
the Eve Schwarz collection
1887
01:44:09,025 --> 01:44:10,442
is using a false name.
1888
01:44:10,525 --> 01:44:12,525
They said he's got
a criminal record.
1889
01:44:13,567 --> 01:44:15,608
Grandma, hey.
1890
01:44:15,692 --> 01:44:17,942
I came as soon as I could.
Thank God you're okay.
1891
01:44:18,025 --> 01:44:19,942
- I'm okay.
- Well, the police are coming.
1892
01:44:20,025 --> 01:44:22,317
- The police are coming and...
- They'll be here any minute.
1893
01:44:22,400 --> 01:44:24,650
They'll be here any minute.
Okay, that's...
1894
01:44:24,733 --> 01:44:26,067
Now we're against
the clock.
1895
01:44:26,150 --> 01:44:28,275
Uh, if he's innocent
and who he says he is,
1896
01:44:28,358 --> 01:44:29,983
- then everything will...
- Everything will be okay.
1897
01:44:30,067 --> 01:44:32,567
And it will be okay, Donald,
because I know what to do.
1898
01:44:32,650 --> 01:44:33,817
What do you mean?
1899
01:44:33,900 --> 01:44:34,650
- What are you going to do?
- Paxton?
1900
01:44:34,733 --> 01:44:35,650
Paxton?
1901
01:44:37,983 --> 01:44:40,317
Donald. Paxton.
1902
01:44:40,400 --> 01:44:41,775
Paxton. Donald.
1903
01:44:41,858 --> 01:44:42,942
Who are you?
1904
01:44:43,025 --> 01:44:44,650
I'm Edgar Allen Poe,
obviously.
1905
01:44:44,733 --> 01:44:46,900
- She just called you Paxton.
- Yes, Donald, this is Paxton.
1906
01:44:46,983 --> 01:44:49,650
And I'm a woman
called Linda Jarvis.
1907
01:44:49,733 --> 01:44:53,233
I'm an ordinary woman
who, 60 seconds ago,
1908
01:44:53,317 --> 01:44:55,483
made an extraordinary
decision.
1909
01:44:55,567 --> 01:44:56,942
Linda,
what are you going to tell him?
1910
01:44:57,025 --> 01:44:58,358
What is it
to do with you?
1911
01:44:58,442 --> 01:45:01,900
What it has to do
with him is that...
1912
01:45:01,983 --> 01:45:04,817
he is my partner and my
lover of ten years standing,
1913
01:45:04,900 --> 01:45:06,733
and I think
I'm still in love with him.
1914
01:45:06,817 --> 01:45:08,150
Really?
1915
01:45:08,233 --> 01:45:10,692
But most importantly,
he is also my accomplice.
1916
01:45:10,775 --> 01:45:13,317
You see, Donald, just now...
just one minute ago,
1917
01:45:13,400 --> 01:45:15,025
I decided... We decided
1918
01:45:15,108 --> 01:45:17,358
to steal the Harris Diamond
worth three million pounds.
1919
01:45:17,442 --> 01:45:19,358
Holy fuck.
Confession avalanche.
1920
01:45:19,442 --> 01:45:20,608
No, it's okay,
and I know Donald
1921
01:45:20,692 --> 01:45:21,817
and also we don't have
a choice,
1922
01:45:21,900 --> 01:45:23,233
because Donald
called the police
1923
01:45:23,317 --> 01:45:24,608
and they're about to arrive
at any second.
1924
01:45:24,692 --> 01:45:26,358
- Oh, fuck!
- Like I said,
1925
01:45:26,442 --> 01:45:28,108
it's going to be okay,
because when the police arrive,
1926
01:45:28,192 --> 01:45:29,858
we are not going to be here,
we are going to be gone.
1927
01:45:29,942 --> 01:45:31,442
- You are?
- Yes, we are.
1928
01:45:31,525 --> 01:45:33,025
And Donald
is going to tell them
1929
01:45:33,108 --> 01:45:34,317
that he talked to Linda
1930
01:45:34,400 --> 01:45:35,608
and she said
that everything's fine,
1931
01:45:35,692 --> 01:45:37,025
it was all
a misunderstanding.
1932
01:45:37,108 --> 01:45:39,817
And then, he is going
to give them this,
1933
01:45:39,900 --> 01:45:41,567
your ID verification.
1934
01:45:41,650 --> 01:45:43,942
And you're going to say that
you recognize that driver
1935
01:45:44,025 --> 01:45:45,358
from another assignment.
1936
01:45:45,442 --> 01:45:46,733
And then, you're going
to tell them a story.
1937
01:45:46,817 --> 01:45:48,525
You're going
to tell them a story
1938
01:45:48,608 --> 01:45:50,858
about how this driver has an
enemy at work who hates him.
1939
01:45:50,942 --> 01:45:52,483
- I am?
- Yes, you are.
1940
01:45:52,567 --> 01:45:54,900
And do you know why you're
going to do all this, Donald?
1941
01:45:54,983 --> 01:45:58,108
- No. Why?
- Because we are good.
1942
01:45:58,192 --> 01:46:00,442
Paxton, Donald,
we three are good.
1943
01:46:00,525 --> 01:46:02,150
And the bastards
who told me to fire you
1944
01:46:02,233 --> 01:46:03,692
and the bastard
who bought that diamond,
1945
01:46:03,775 --> 01:46:06,067
they won't even realize
that it's gone.
1946
01:46:06,150 --> 01:46:08,733
- Mention the NHS.
- Yeah. Yes, ooh!
1947
01:46:10,983 --> 01:46:12,733
What do you say, Donald?
1948
01:46:12,817 --> 01:46:14,733
Will you
lie for us, Donald?
1949
01:46:17,317 --> 01:46:21,567
I see all this
anarchy is because of lockdown.
1950
01:46:21,650 --> 01:46:24,108
Idiotic,
insane fucking lockdown
1951
01:46:24,192 --> 01:46:25,608
which has liberated us all.
1952
01:46:25,692 --> 01:46:27,150
Donald, we'll give you money.
I'll give you 200 grand.
1953
01:46:27,233 --> 01:46:28,650
Fuck the money.
I don't do this for money,
1954
01:46:28,733 --> 01:46:29,692
I do this for beauty.
1955
01:46:29,775 --> 01:46:31,650
Linda, you are wonderful.
1956
01:46:31,733 --> 01:46:35,608
Linda, and he is
your secret bandit lover,
1957
01:46:35,692 --> 01:46:37,608
and you are going
to spit in the face
1958
01:46:37,692 --> 01:46:39,400
of the global monolith.
1959
01:46:39,483 --> 01:46:41,025
During lockdown
I've had time
1960
01:46:41,108 --> 01:46:44,692
to think and walk in the park
near my mother's house,
1961
01:46:44,775 --> 01:46:47,525
and God, apart from the
dog walkers and the joggers
1962
01:46:47,608 --> 01:46:50,983
breathing everywhere, God,
it is a beautiful world.
1963
01:46:51,067 --> 01:46:53,150
Even before
the fucking virus,
1964
01:46:53,233 --> 01:46:55,608
we were all locked down
in our own routines,
1965
01:46:55,692 --> 01:46:57,317
our versions
of ourselves...
1966
01:46:57,400 --> 01:46:58,567
Linda, we have to get
the fuck out of here.
1967
01:46:58,650 --> 01:47:00,108
Let Donald have his moment.
1968
01:47:00,192 --> 01:47:01,275
...never get to work!
1969
01:47:01,358 --> 01:47:02,567
I only came here tonight
1970
01:47:02,650 --> 01:47:03,942
because I was worried
about you, Linda.
1971
01:47:04,025 --> 01:47:05,567
I don't give a fuck
about Miracore,
1972
01:47:05,650 --> 01:47:08,108
their fucking diamonds,
I don't care about them.
1973
01:47:08,192 --> 01:47:11,067
I want everything
to be stolen.
1974
01:47:11,150 --> 01:47:14,067
I will lie for you, Linda,
1975
01:47:14,150 --> 01:47:19,817
because this is my moment
to fucking do something!
1976
01:47:32,317 --> 01:47:33,900
Mad, all this, isn't it?
1977
01:47:33,983 --> 01:47:35,567
Yeah.
1978
01:47:35,650 --> 01:47:37,442
Who'd have thought a month
ago we'd be doing this.
1979
01:47:38,358 --> 01:47:39,483
Not me.
1980
01:47:41,608 --> 01:47:43,817
Paging Edgar Allen Poe.
1981
01:47:43,900 --> 01:47:47,483
Edgar Allen Poe,
please report to security.
1982
01:48:02,025 --> 01:48:03,692
Mr. Edgar Allen Poe,
1983
01:48:03,775 --> 01:48:06,483
please report
to security immediately.
1984
01:48:06,567 --> 01:48:08,150
I think
we should speed up.
1985
01:48:08,233 --> 01:48:10,817
Don't rush. We're not trying
to evacuate Dunkirk!
1986
01:48:10,900 --> 01:48:12,108
Stop there. If you walk,
1987
01:48:12,192 --> 01:48:14,150
you should be
on the starboard side.
1988
01:48:16,525 --> 01:48:17,983
Leave it.
Leave it.
1989
01:48:19,275 --> 01:48:20,858
Linda?
1990
01:48:20,942 --> 01:48:23,483
Paging Edgar Allen Poe.
1991
01:48:23,567 --> 01:48:26,567
Mr. Edgar Allen Poe,
please report to security.
1992
01:48:26,650 --> 01:48:29,358
It's Michael with
the arrows from Zoom.
1993
01:48:34,775 --> 01:48:37,400
Mr. Edgar Allen Poe,
1994
01:48:37,483 --> 01:48:40,442
please report
to security immediately.
1995
01:48:42,567 --> 01:48:44,692
Oh, fuck.
1996
01:48:44,775 --> 01:48:46,650
You'll have to turn in
your Harrods pass.
1997
01:48:46,733 --> 01:48:48,025
You go. Save yourself.
1998
01:48:48,108 --> 01:48:49,400
It's me that fate
is fucking with.
1999
01:48:49,483 --> 01:48:51,358
Just keep walking.
2000
01:48:53,108 --> 01:48:54,400
Edgar Allen Poe.
2001
01:48:59,067 --> 01:49:00,692
You left this
in the office.
2002
01:49:02,233 --> 01:49:03,942
You'll need it at Heathrow.
2003
01:49:07,900 --> 01:49:10,150
Thanks very much.
2004
01:49:10,233 --> 01:49:13,275
Everybody says, uh,
come back soon, Linda,
2005
01:49:13,358 --> 01:49:14,650
and we all love you.
2006
01:50:20,900 --> 01:50:22,150
Since that night,
we've established
2007
01:50:22,233 --> 01:50:23,817
that although we're now
both rich
2008
01:50:23,900 --> 01:50:26,025
and no longer have
to do jobs we despise,
2009
01:50:26,108 --> 01:50:27,358
the strains of lockdown
2010
01:50:27,442 --> 01:50:28,983
are still severely testing
our relationship.
2011
01:50:29,067 --> 01:50:30,650
"Happy ever after"
cannot survive
2012
01:50:30,733 --> 01:50:32,608
someone hiding
your bag of flour.
2013
01:50:32,692 --> 01:50:34,275
Okay, come on. Okay.
2014
01:50:35,317 --> 01:50:37,692
Here is your bag of flour.
I just...
2015
01:50:37,775 --> 01:50:39,900
I want you to promise me that
you're not gonna make bread.
2016
01:50:39,983 --> 01:50:41,233
Why not?
2017
01:50:41,317 --> 01:50:43,192
Because of the mess
and the pointlessness
2018
01:50:43,275 --> 01:50:45,858
and because it will be inedible,
and like all homemade bread,
2019
01:50:45,942 --> 01:50:47,358
it will be a fucking
pointless cannonball.
2020
01:50:47,442 --> 01:50:49,233
My dad used to make it
and we had to eat it,
2021
01:50:49,317 --> 01:50:50,775
otherwise he would disappear
into his workshop
2022
01:50:50,858 --> 01:50:53,108
and make these
hopeless wooden toys.
2023
01:50:53,192 --> 01:50:55,025
- Never again.
- Linda, you've lost your mind.
2024
01:50:55,108 --> 01:50:55,942
What? I've lost...
2025
01:50:56,025 --> 01:50:57,358
You buried a hedgehog
2026
01:50:57,442 --> 01:50:59,567
and said a eulogy
over the fucking grave.
2027
01:50:59,650 --> 01:51:01,775
And you deliberately stuck a
piece of tinsel on the ceiling
2028
01:51:01,858 --> 01:51:03,858
- above the stairs.
- No, it was there all along.
2029
01:51:03,942 --> 01:51:05,858
- I almost broke my fucking neck.
- If you'd asked me,
2030
01:51:05,942 --> 01:51:07,108
I would have held
the stepladders.
2031
01:51:07,192 --> 01:51:08,192
If it had been there
"all along,"
2032
01:51:08,275 --> 01:51:09,650
I would have noticed it.
2033
01:51:09,733 --> 01:51:11,108
But you haven't noticed
that there was no point
2034
01:51:11,192 --> 01:51:12,483
in packing a suitcase
2035
01:51:12,567 --> 01:51:15,400
because there is nowhere
you can actually go.
2036
01:51:15,483 --> 01:51:18,067
They just extended lockdown
by another two weeks.
2037
01:51:21,733 --> 01:51:23,150
Oh, shit.
2038
01:51:25,192 --> 01:51:27,525
Well...
2039
01:51:28,983 --> 01:51:30,400
All that
for a bag of flour
2040
01:51:30,483 --> 01:51:32,900
and a definitely
pre-existing piece of tinsel.
2041
01:51:32,983 --> 01:51:37,525
And because today
is my birthday.
2042
01:51:38,650 --> 01:51:39,942
It's okay.
2043
01:51:40,025 --> 01:51:41,525
- I know.
- It's okay.
2044
01:51:41,608 --> 01:51:43,567
- It's lockdown.
- No, I knew that.
2045
01:51:43,650 --> 01:51:46,733
- Nobody knows what day it is, never mind the date.
- And I got you something.
2046
01:51:46,817 --> 01:51:48,817
I got you something
you really, really want.
2047
01:51:56,317 --> 01:51:57,942
Go crazy.
2048
01:52:00,567 --> 01:52:04,317
- Another two weeks?
- Another two weeks.
2049
01:52:04,400 --> 01:52:07,108
Well, then,
my long suffering public
2050
01:52:07,192 --> 01:52:09,483
may need another poem.
2051
01:52:10,192 --> 01:52:11,358
Hmm.
2052
01:52:11,442 --> 01:52:14,275
Counting The Beats
by Robert Graves.
2053
01:52:15,608 --> 01:52:19,567
"You, love, and I,
you and I,
2054
01:52:19,650 --> 01:52:21,442
and if no more
than only you and I,
2055
01:52:21,525 --> 01:52:24,358
what care you and I?"
2056
01:52:29,483 --> 01:52:35,733
"Counting the beats,
counting the slow heartbeats,
2057
01:52:35,817 --> 01:52:40,317
the bleeding to death of time
in slow heartbeats,
2058
01:52:40,400 --> 01:52:42,983
wakeful we lie.
2059
01:52:43,067 --> 01:52:48,733
Cloudless day, night,
and another cloudless day,
2060
01:52:48,817 --> 01:52:53,483
yet a huge cloud will burst
upon their heads one day."
2061
01:52:53,567 --> 01:52:56,317
And on that day,
lockdown will end!
2062
01:52:59,233 --> 01:53:02,317
"Only here,
as we are here, together,
2063
01:53:02,400 --> 01:53:07,483
now and here,
always you and I."
2064
01:53:18,717 --> 01:53:23,717
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https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 161787
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