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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,473 --> 00:00:16,434 This film was restored by PATHÉ in 2013 2 00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,784 In those days, 3 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,828 from Scotland to the Gobi, 4 00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:39,749 from the Turkish hills to the Hispanic shores, 5 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:43,962 one man alone held sway over the civilized world, 6 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,421 Caesar! 7 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,507 Each year, 8 00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:51,761 mighty Caesar vacationed in Rahat-Locum, 9 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,681 a Roman colony in North Africa. 10 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,682 A QUARTER TO TWO B.C. 11 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,424 Want some good grass? It's Phoenician! 12 00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:12,591 Piss off! 13 00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:04,078 What's all this? See what's wrong! 14 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,789 Outta the way! 15 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,253 Don't rupture yourself! 16 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:14,589 Move over! 17 00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,466 Where's the fire? 18 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:19,552 If you're in a rush, get a camel! 19 00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:21,971 Pain in the ass! I'm workin'! 20 00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:25,016 No reason to piss everybody off! 21 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,686 Why bitch? Ya ain't got a fare. 22 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:32,565 Cuz I stop at noon for chow, asshole! 23 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:39,572 Say that again... Let's see if I get mad. 24 00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,493 Gonna scare me, ya big bag? 25 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,498 If I come over 26 00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,041 real close 27 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:54,545 and look ya in the eye, got the guts to repeat that? 28 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,339 - Big bag! - Me? 29 00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,549 Yeah! Ya know what kind? 30 00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,802 Me? A big bag? 31 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:01,968 What's up? 32 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:04,388 This dope's blockin' my way. 33 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:08,017 Chariot races are held in the Circus. 34 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:09,310 What a clown! 35 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,812 Shut up! 36 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,981 I want the street cleared by 3. 37 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,858 Again! 38 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,568 I'm sick of this. 39 00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:21,322 Move along! Don't gawk! 40 00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:24,617 Close up your stands! 41 00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,869 Caesar's guest is due. 42 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,498 Clear the street for the procession. 43 00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,084 Close your shops! 44 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,794 Same thing every day! 45 00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:38,130 Him and his foreign guests ruin our sales! 46 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:41,759 Always showin' off for bigwigs from Africa. 47 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:43,301 And Gaul! 48 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,637 Enough! 49 00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:49,809 Go tell Caesar your troubles. 50 00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:51,686 He's getting some new lions. 51 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,521 Big ones! 52 00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:56,774 And I hear they're hungry! 53 00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:58,985 We'd better leave. 54 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,503 Didn't you hear me? 55 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,464 Clear the street! 56 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,883 We just told you. 57 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,469 I'm just gonna grab a bite to eat. 58 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,221 See to this guy. 59 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,391 Ok... Ok... 60 00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:46,574 The Consul will convert 61 00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:49,201 the Julian Severus Theater 62 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:52,163 into a supermarket to increase government profits... 63 00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,664 - Camparius! - Americanus! 64 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:56,667 Hot tea but hold the sugar! 65 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,713 I'm on a diet. 66 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:06,344 Tax will be the same for urban and provincial Romans 67 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,012 enabling them 68 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:12,600 to proudly share in the grandeur of Rome. 69 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,769 To hell with Rome! 70 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:20,191 Arab emirs at the Congress of Oat-Producing Nations 71 00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:24,195 today announced a rise to 18 sesterces 72 00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:26,113 per quintal of grain. 73 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:32,370 Many emirs are arriving for the festivities 74 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,706 organized by mighty Caesar in honor 75 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:37,041 of Cleopatra. 76 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:39,126 Kill the boob tube! 77 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,544 In Bethlehem... 78 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,797 It's all bullshit! 79 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:46,884 What'll become of us? The price of oats is up 80 00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:51,097 and this supermarket will ruin business! 81 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:54,225 So have a glass of champagnus! 82 00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:55,518 Ya don't care? 83 00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:57,144 You bet I don't. 84 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:01,399 If the supermarket puts you out of business 85 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,987 and keeps deliveries from blockin' traffic, I won't mind! 86 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,655 Slob! 87 00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:09,490 Hey, if you're so tough 88 00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:12,201 use your merchants' union! 89 00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:14,954 Sounds like a revolt's in the air! 90 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,541 Paulus is needlin' us. Seen TV? 91 00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,459 Like everybody! 92 00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:22,712 We gotta stop 'em! 93 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,213 Exactly! 94 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,881 Know what I say? 95 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:30,678 Caesar's the big bad wolf cuz the Romans are lambs! 96 00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:35,599 Caesar's a lion cuz the Romans are deers! 97 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,601 - True! - Smart words! 98 00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:38,810 He's smart. 99 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,521 Smart! But what else? 100 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,606 So what else, smarty? 101 00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:46,569 I say we should let Caesar know 102 00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:49,196 that we're fed up! 103 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,285 We should pick a strong-fisted leader 104 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,329 who'll tell him so! 105 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:02,251 That we're sick and tired and fed up! 106 00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:04,420 Right! Exactly! 107 00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:06,464 And it's you! 108 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,465 What? 109 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,300 The strong-fisted leader! 110 00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:12,094 President of the Merchants! 111 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,304 But... 112 00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:16,140 We'll go see the Consul 113 00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:19,310 and let Ben-Hur Marcel speak for us all! 114 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,355 And say it's the last straw! 115 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,486 Be our leader, Ben-Hur Marcel! 116 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,493 Ben-Hur Marcel's gonna talk to the Consul! 117 00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:51,008 Ben-Hur Marcel's gonna speak for us all! 118 00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:16,117 What is it? 119 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,160 - The masses! - Well? 120 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,871 They seem to be crabby, Consul. 121 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,726 I got your message! 122 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,148 Citizens! 123 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,692 Do you want lower taxes? 124 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,612 Work for all? 125 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,491 An end to inflation? 126 00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:01,579 We can do nothing for now 127 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,790 but as soon as we can, we'll double our efforts! 128 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:14,425 Promises, promises! We want guarantees! 129 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:15,885 Guarantees! 130 00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,137 They're being a drag. 131 00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:21,473 This can't go on! Rome is a democracy! 132 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,309 We have rights! 133 00:11:30,608 --> 00:11:31,650 Who are you? 134 00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:35,571 Ben-Hur Marcel! Mechanic! Merchants' President! 135 00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:38,949 You're their leader? 136 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,826 Too right, Dwight! 137 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,285 So speak up! 138 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,664 Things were fine till Caesar came. 139 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,917 Then the shit hit the fan! 140 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,092 Caesar bestrides the world! 141 00:11:57,259 --> 00:12:00,679 We trot between the giant legs like midgets. 142 00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:05,226 On what flesh does Caesar feed 143 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,894 to become so great? 144 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,856 Are Rome's walls to gird but one man? 145 00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:13,901 So we're fed up with Caesar! 146 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,114 Me? 147 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:20,908 Why not the others? 148 00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:22,660 You're alone, asshole! 149 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:32,461 Listen, Demetrius Cassius Titus Marcus Et Ceterus... 150 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,339 My designer miscut my pleats! 151 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:39,176 I can't wear this rag to Caesar's Palace! 152 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:42,554 I want him torn to shreds in the arena! 153 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,014 A bloody ragdoll! 154 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,432 Not in front of the guards... 155 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,725 Screw the guards! 156 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:50,354 Toss him in the arena with a trident in his torso! 157 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,107 A sword slicing up his entrails! 158 00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:56,902 His bruised body in a net! His nose bashed! 159 00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:59,613 Enough of this! 160 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,491 You've made me throw a plumber to the lions... 161 00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,118 Crucify a barber. 162 00:13:04,285 --> 00:13:06,787 - Indeed! - Now a dress designer? 163 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,080 So? 164 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:16,255 You're going to damage my popularity! 165 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,717 Why did a nice Gallic gal like me marry a Roman? 166 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,469 Now what? 167 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:26,265 Hail. Demetrius Cassius Marcus Oct... 168 00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:27,850 Never mind! 169 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,645 - Well? - Actually, in front of... 170 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,107 What's with this make-believe macho? 171 00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:39,611 I'm the Consul's wife! I hear all that goes on here. 172 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,407 Careful or you'll end up in the arena! 173 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,409 Enough of that! 174 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:47,786 Go on. 175 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,580 It's your son... 176 00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,166 His son? MY son! What's wrong? 177 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,878 He's dead! Hurt! Do something, you Roman! 178 00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:58,380 Give it a rest, Laetitia! 179 00:13:58,964 --> 00:13:59,964 My son? 180 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:04,011 He was driving a chariot drunk. 181 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,178 Jupiter be praised. 182 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,472 The schmuck! 183 00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:09,641 Bring him to me. 184 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:12,936 - The Highway Guards have him. - So? 185 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,106 Highway Guards and Palace Guards don't... 186 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,653 Free him! And tell the Highway Guards 187 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,949 to shape up or I'll put a few in the arena! 188 00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:27,743 Finally! 189 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,537 Go tend to your lace laurels! 190 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,070 He really stuffs himself! 191 00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,989 3 or 4 every Sunday in the arena! 192 00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,826 Especially Greeks! 193 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:13,205 He has a soft spot for Greeks. 194 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,833 It must be their diet. 195 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,253 Stuffed grape leaves, souvlaki... 196 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,922 Greeks are tasty, eh, Lucien? 197 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,178 It's odd... Turks eat like Greeks but... 198 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,472 he's not hot for Turks. 199 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:35,018 He doesn't like Spartans much. Too dry! 200 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,148 He tears them up. 201 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:45,279 He toys with their sandals but hardly eats a thing. 202 00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,739 Gauls are too pickled. 203 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:52,035 He won't touch Biafrans. That's understandable. 204 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,872 And Romans? 205 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,876 He loves them for dessert. 206 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:02,754 They're like rum cakes for him 207 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,465 but he doesn't get many. 208 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,302 Only skinny common criminals fed on 209 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,636 dry bread. 210 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,263 But you! 211 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,809 You'll be a feast! 212 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,687 Look... 213 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:20,731 He's spotted you! 214 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:25,068 He has a good eye. He knows who's who! 215 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,070 We could make a deal. 216 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,781 Listen, 217 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,117 you let me knock you out 218 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,786 and then fall so I can grab your keys. 219 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:35,953 I'll pay! 220 00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,749 Let you escape? You're joking? 221 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,879 Now I'm all for making a little cash. 222 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:47,966 Civil servants' pay is low and fully declared. 223 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,844 So if ya want extras... 224 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,305 Having food brought in, 225 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,098 some packages... 226 00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:57,267 But no escape! 227 00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,437 I'd land in the arena in your place! 228 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:05,567 Then again, Lucien wouldn't touch me. 229 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,403 - Right, Lucien? - See! 230 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,322 But the others! 231 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,533 The gladiators! 232 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,827 They're wild animals! They jab a trident 233 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,747 down your throat and twist it! 234 00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:20,749 They lop off your hands! 235 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:26,171 They bash heads with axes! It hurts! 236 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:29,132 They leave you in the sun 237 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,301 covered with honey and ants. 238 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:35,556 Camels lick you while you slowly die, 239 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,850 lying for hours in the hot sun. 240 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,730 Right, I need to clean up the arena 241 00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:45,649 and scatter some sawdust. 242 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,318 It's gonna be a bloody Sunday. 243 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,237 Spurting blood! 244 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,032 Calm down, Lucien! 245 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,119 Be patient! 246 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,290 Sunday he's yours! 247 00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:05,001 A plot? 248 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,545 Plenty of them! 249 00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:10,090 But we can't check everybody's ID, 250 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,217 frisk chariots, arrest students 251 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:16,430 without arousing the masses who are baying for blood. 252 00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:19,683 So we'll organize our own plot. 253 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,477 It'll also unmask rabble-rousers. 254 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,607 Once Caesar survives our phony ambush, 255 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,234 we can arrest plenty of suspects! 256 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,070 Brilliant, Consul! We must hire 257 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,323 a clever firebrand, loyal to us, 258 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,782 of course. 259 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,911 Don't you have an agent smart enough? 260 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,662 Leave us! 261 00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,790 My men are just cops! 262 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,376 No intelligent ones there! 263 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,422 Or use someone very dumb! 264 00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:51,673 That'd do. 265 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,467 That we can find! 266 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,134 Hail, Deme... 267 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:59,264 Stop hailing me all day! It gets on my nerves! 268 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,476 Well? 269 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:07,564 I got your son released from the Highway Guards. 270 00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,108 Look at that get-up! 271 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,194 Go to your room. 272 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,199 Don't smirk! 273 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:21,161 Next time you'll stay in stir! 274 00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:26,625 And the town? 275 00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:28,502 All going swimmingly. 276 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,880 Their ringleader is in prison. 277 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,800 - People? - No worries! 278 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,387 The guy was just a mechanic. 279 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,391 It's a pity to feed him to a lion. 280 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,228 He's the only good chariot mechanic in this damn town. 281 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:51,358 Why in Hades are we here except to please 282 00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,527 a brainless emperor 283 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:57,280 who in the meantime is... Sorry! 284 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,990 My nerves are shot to hell. 285 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,868 Yes, I know... You may go. 286 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:12,087 Shitty Jupiter-damned cape of a half-assed uniform! 287 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,550 The men are fed up with all this shit. 288 00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,135 All this... shit. 289 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,429 That idiot gave me an idea. 290 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:25,475 What's the mechanic's name? 291 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:26,685 Ben-Hur Marcel. 292 00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:30,230 Not very Roman, but it's just as well. 293 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:34,025 He's the man for our phony conspiracy. 294 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,278 Everyone heard him. 295 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:37,446 He's in jail now, 296 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,614 for plotting against Caesar! 297 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,825 Brilliant, Consul! 298 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,967 She reigns over Egypt 299 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:02,137 Each pyramid and crypt 300 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,306 Sings the praises 301 00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:08,727 Of her ancestors the Pharaohs 302 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,355 Neath the skies of Egypta 303 00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,984 There grows the calyptra 304 00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:19,738 Amid blossoms and rocks 305 00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:22,824 Glide swans and peacocks 306 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,750 Let Asskisserus pass! 307 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:36,171 Hail to the envoy of Consul Demetrius! 308 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,094 Keep your own nose, dear Queen. 309 00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:47,349 One too long could change the face of the world. 310 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,728 Divine Cleopatra, may the Gods help me 311 00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:53,730 to convince 312 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:58,026 Your Luminous Majesty that although 313 00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:02,322 mighty Caesar holds the fate of the world in his hands, 314 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,116 yet in the provinces as the Gauls say 315 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,744 "Though smart as foxes, we're not oxes!" 316 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:13,959 Rahat-Locum is not like Imperial Rome 317 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,503 where roads are broad and wide, 318 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,006 suitable for processions. 319 00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:22,133 Asskisserus, you windbag! 320 00:22:22,551 --> 00:22:25,178 Full of hot air! 321 00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,097 But, divine Cleopatra! 322 00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:32,477 Rahat-Locum is a tiny town of narrow alleys 323 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:36,022 and difficult, twisting, sandy streets. 324 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:38,024 Majestic Luminosity... 325 00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:41,278 Your Luminous Majesty should 326 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,530 use the express highway. 327 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,657 Am I dreaming? 328 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:52,080 Tell your Emperor the Queen of Egypt makes the laws! 329 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:57,586 Pyramid builders don't use express highways 330 00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:00,714 amid Roman delivery chariots! 331 00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:04,968 I'll use Rahat-Locum's main avenue. 332 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:10,348 If it's not wide enough, tell mighty Caesar 333 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:13,476 to raze half the city! 334 00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:15,812 Like this! 335 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:17,439 Is that clear? 336 00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:19,148 But, Majesty... 337 00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:21,109 Remove this ass 338 00:23:21,318 --> 00:23:23,111 and his building blocks! 339 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:29,242 I only express the orders of the Consul who is not too smart. 340 00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:33,705 It's awful having to work for such a dope! 341 00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:38,251 If I could serve a sovereign like you, 342 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,838 Luminous Majesty! Majestic Luminosity! 343 00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:57,520 Musculus! Bicepsus! Tricepsus! 344 00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:01,024 Dorsus dorsalum! Dorsus pectorus! 345 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:11,368 Musculus bicepsus! Tricepsus et pectorem! 346 00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,245 Who's the little dark man? 347 00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:16,081 - Dark? - Pudgy? 348 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:17,624 The dark pudgy one. 349 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,084 Juvenius, Consul. 350 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:20,377 Juvenius! 351 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,087 He trains badly. 352 00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,255 He should be punished. 353 00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,341 Indeed, Caesar. You heard? 354 00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:30,095 I'll cast him into the arena 355 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:31,680 next Sunday! 356 00:24:31,846 --> 00:24:33,682 Caesar's hard but fair. 357 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:38,103 He must be punished but not in the arena. 358 00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,605 Put him on night duty. 359 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,817 As you wish, great Caesar. 360 00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:48,655 He'll stand guard for a week at the North Gate 361 00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:51,616 where nights are harshest. 362 00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:56,162 You're the harsh one! Don't be so severe. 363 00:24:56,329 --> 00:25:00,375 Post him outside my room tomorrow night. 364 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,920 Do as you're told. 365 00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:07,340 Add a man in case he goes off duty. 366 00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:08,925 He wouldn't dare! 367 00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:10,844 You schmuck. 368 00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:15,348 Do it or you'll end up in a lion's belly. 369 00:25:15,849 --> 00:25:17,058 Yes, Consul. 370 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:21,521 Come with me. We have serious matters to discuss. 371 00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:36,870 Demetrius, baby, just who is this Cleopatra? 372 00:25:37,037 --> 00:25:38,121 A savage? 373 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:41,166 They say she's a woman of power. 374 00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:43,752 Girl-scout type? 375 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:47,797 No. Dictatorial but fairly feminine. 376 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,424 How ghastly! 377 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,801 But for the good of Rome we must 378 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,637 give her a perfect reception. 379 00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,726 What do you think of these? 380 00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:03,229 My costumes for the festivities! 381 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:05,565 Very gay! I hope it's sunny. 382 00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,485 I want fabulous games! 383 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,279 Chariot races, gladiators... 384 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:16,659 I want gladiators who are big, handsome and virile and all... 385 00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:21,164 plus 2 or 3 not too big, not too skinny. 386 00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:22,582 Some pudgies. 387 00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:26,878 As you wish. But I'd like to talk politics. 388 00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:30,548 Politics! That bores me to tears! 389 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:34,052 I'm busy preparing for the Armenian! 390 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:35,219 Egyptian! 391 00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,514 If you say so... Egyptian! 392 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,976 Must I worry about politics as well? 393 00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:46,689 Noble Caesar, the people are discontent. 394 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,235 People! What are the people? 395 00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,195 Plumbers and maids! 396 00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:56,658 Must I reign for the people? 397 00:26:56,825 --> 00:26:59,369 Aside from them is everyone else happy? 398 00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,204 Absolutely. 399 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:04,749 So let's run the country with the decent people! 400 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:07,210 That's impossible. 401 00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:10,213 Revolt is sprouting everywhere. 402 00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:14,884 Each day state officials, judges, centurions, 403 00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,888 tax collectors are attacked by the Purple Brigades. 404 00:27:19,514 --> 00:27:22,517 Public buildings are damaged daily. 405 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,354 Just look! 406 00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:28,815 The Courthouse... 407 00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:31,276 The Tax Center... 408 00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:33,570 The Circus... 409 00:27:33,736 --> 00:27:35,697 They've all been hit! 410 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:39,576 The Purple Brigades even smashed your statue. 411 00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:41,161 Good! 412 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:43,121 I hated the outfit I was wearing. 413 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:45,290 I'll have it redone, 414 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:50,420 with pleats down the front and a much fuller cut. 415 00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:51,587 Take measures. 416 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:53,256 Send me my sculptor. 417 00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:55,008 Political measures! 418 00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:58,261 Be an angel and see to all that! 419 00:27:58,428 --> 00:27:59,262 And also... 420 00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:02,140 Hush! That's enough! 421 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:07,478 Having an empire's fine but I want my privacy too! 422 00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,857 Have I no right to live? 423 00:28:11,065 --> 00:28:13,067 The state... The Empire... 424 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:15,486 Listen to me, noble Caesar! 425 00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:19,741 Our economy needs an alliance with Egypt. 426 00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:22,619 Couldn't you take... 427 00:28:23,661 --> 00:28:25,580 advantage of her visit... 428 00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:29,042 and offer to wed Cleopatra? 429 00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:33,379 Wed? What do you mean? Marriage? 430 00:28:33,546 --> 00:28:36,341 Only for political reasons! 431 00:28:36,507 --> 00:28:38,343 You wouldn't have to... 432 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:42,680 What? He's lost his mind! 433 00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:44,766 Me? Wed an Ethiopian? 434 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:46,184 Egyptian... 435 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:49,729 Sweetie, I know you're devoted to me, 436 00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:54,108 fussing over the Empire, but you need a rest! 437 00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:58,321 I mean, really! Frankly, you've flipped! 438 00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:05,870 Me with a broad and bawling brats? A nightmare! 439 00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:09,040 Ciao, Consul baby. 440 00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:12,001 That's too funny! 441 00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:14,295 Go, home, have some herb tea 442 00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:17,924 and go beddy-byes! 443 00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:22,178 I can't get over it! He said "wed"! 444 00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:25,682 Of all things! 445 00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:29,560 I never heard anything so silly! 446 00:30:19,569 --> 00:30:20,695 What's Caesar like? 447 00:30:20,903 --> 00:30:22,947 They say he's very strong. 448 00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:24,741 I mean as a person. 449 00:30:25,366 --> 00:30:27,201 Chic with class. 450 00:30:28,077 --> 00:30:29,287 That helps! 451 00:30:29,454 --> 00:30:32,290 A good host. Nouvelle cuisine, etc. 452 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:36,169 10,000 miles for pickled dormice in strawberry jam! 453 00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:40,923 For the grandeur of Egypt, 454 00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:43,760 I hope we win the chariot races. 455 00:31:02,445 --> 00:31:03,445 Leave us! 456 00:31:06,574 --> 00:31:07,700 Come. 457 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,247 Sit down. 458 00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,215 ID file... 459 00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:25,676 "Ben-Hur Marcel. 32. Merchant Union President." 460 00:31:27,678 --> 00:31:29,180 A subversive group? 461 00:31:29,347 --> 00:31:33,184 We're only merchants who organize 462 00:31:33,351 --> 00:31:37,563 special 2-week sales with prizes and so on. 463 00:31:38,022 --> 00:31:39,107 They say 464 00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:40,983 you're a rebel 465 00:31:41,526 --> 00:31:43,778 who criticizes the Empire 466 00:31:44,195 --> 00:31:47,240 and that you're ready to strike at Caesar. 467 00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:51,869 It happened once... cuz they pushed me. 468 00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,579 Never mind. 469 00:31:53,788 --> 00:31:55,164 I like that. 470 00:31:56,874 --> 00:31:58,459 I need a man like you. 471 00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:03,756 You know of plots against Caesar? 472 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:07,635 Being in business, I hear folks talk. 473 00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:12,849 Some say, "Kick him out on his ass!" 474 00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:16,102 Or "Let's crucify him!" 475 00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:18,521 "Perch him on a pyramid!" 476 00:32:19,272 --> 00:32:22,567 But I've never heard of a plot. 477 00:32:22,733 --> 00:32:24,235 You'll organize one. 478 00:32:24,402 --> 00:32:25,570 A plot? 479 00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:29,031 You and your merchants 480 00:32:29,574 --> 00:32:32,118 will plan a conspiracy for me. 481 00:32:32,285 --> 00:32:33,536 A conspiracy? 482 00:32:34,412 --> 00:32:35,872 Against Caesar! 483 00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:40,168 I'm not interested. 484 00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:42,753 It's not my thing. 485 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,090 Makin' fun of Caesar and sayin'... 486 00:32:46,257 --> 00:32:49,886 "That shit-face? When he coughs, it's a fart!" 487 00:32:51,262 --> 00:32:55,391 That's one thing but... I mean... Sorry. 488 00:32:55,558 --> 00:32:56,558 Sorry... 489 00:32:57,268 --> 00:32:58,978 No conspiracies! 490 00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:04,317 You must have specialists who'd love to do it. 491 00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:06,819 We're amateurs! We'd slow you down. 492 00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:09,238 You have no choice. 493 00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:14,494 You do it or it's... Sunday with Lucien! 494 00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:18,414 In that case, I can handle it fine. 495 00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:21,584 Some conspirators meet 496 00:33:21,751 --> 00:33:24,795 nightly in the catacombs. 497 00:33:24,962 --> 00:33:29,217 If our friend Ben-Hur Marcel were to contact them... 498 00:33:29,383 --> 00:33:31,552 Good idea! You'll go there 499 00:33:31,761 --> 00:33:33,930 and infiltrate the terrorists. 500 00:33:34,764 --> 00:33:36,516 Then report to us 501 00:33:36,724 --> 00:33:37,558 and I'll decide. 502 00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:42,522 Yes but... what if they don't want me? 503 00:33:43,231 --> 00:33:44,482 Lucien! 504 00:33:44,899 --> 00:33:47,527 I see. Ok... 505 00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:45,543 Here we are. 506 00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:46,877 What do I owe you? 507 00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:49,380 8 sesterces. 508 00:34:53,509 --> 00:34:54,510 Thanks. 509 00:35:37,678 --> 00:35:38,763 Ok, Lucette? 510 00:35:38,929 --> 00:35:40,598 Some guys are kooks! 511 00:35:57,365 --> 00:35:58,741 Well, baby? 512 00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:00,534 How much? 513 00:36:00,701 --> 00:36:03,120 20 in the chariot, 25 out. 514 00:36:03,287 --> 00:36:04,287 Son of a bitch! 515 00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:05,373 Pardon me? 516 00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:07,583 Givin' me a hard time? 517 00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:09,669 I don't give it away! 518 00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:13,047 Yeah... Ok. 519 00:36:37,905 --> 00:36:40,533 You're cute but I can't take anymore! 520 00:36:42,535 --> 00:36:43,953 Going, dolls? 521 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,205 We're washed out! 522 00:36:46,831 --> 00:36:48,165 From the baths! 523 00:36:48,332 --> 00:36:50,292 Time for bed, Crocus! 524 00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:51,961 See you, sweetie! 525 00:36:52,211 --> 00:36:54,922 A closet queen with a mask! 526 00:36:55,131 --> 00:36:56,131 Hi, you! 527 00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:57,675 Hi, Reginus! 528 00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:01,261 Good crowd? 529 00:37:01,303 --> 00:37:03,139 Wild! Come in! 530 00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:05,141 Here already, baby? 531 00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:14,150 Here we do as we please! No one'll deck us! 532 00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:20,906 We hug and squeeze In our homosexualis discothecus 533 00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:27,747 Let the disco play! Come shake your plexus! 534 00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:34,503 It's all very gay In the Homo-Disco-Texus! 535 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:45,449 Citizen! Got 2 or 3 sesterces for a drink? 536 00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:48,369 How do I get into the catacombs? 537 00:38:48,536 --> 00:38:50,079 The door's not far. 538 00:38:50,246 --> 00:38:54,917 Careful! Some odd guys hang out there. 539 00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:25,990 'Night, dolls! 540 00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:27,199 'Night, Ma! 541 00:39:28,325 --> 00:39:29,910 Take care. 542 00:39:33,330 --> 00:39:34,874 Hello, you! 543 00:39:36,166 --> 00:39:40,379 Hi, ladies'n'gents! I'm lookin' for friends. 544 00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:42,256 But I don't know... 545 00:39:42,423 --> 00:39:44,383 They said I'd find... 546 00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:48,721 They're here to plan something special. 547 00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:50,973 Yes, it's special! 548 00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:53,100 I don't know if... 549 00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:55,102 it's in the catacombs. 550 00:39:55,269 --> 00:39:56,312 Well, it's... 551 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,523 downstairs. Care to take a peek? 552 00:40:00,608 --> 00:40:01,608 Come in! 553 00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:05,321 What's wrong, kitten? Shy? 554 00:40:05,487 --> 00:40:08,782 No, but they said it was a secret. 555 00:40:08,991 --> 00:40:11,285 It's not secret! 556 00:40:11,452 --> 00:40:14,538 It's just discreet. But everyone knows. 557 00:40:15,706 --> 00:40:17,875 Cops come here too! 558 00:40:20,502 --> 00:40:24,256 Hello, fellas! Hi, men! 559 00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:28,177 Go on in! What a dodo! 560 00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,882 What'll it be, kitten. Champagne? 561 00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:08,175 Right. 562 00:41:11,512 --> 00:41:13,806 Shit! Here, kitten! 563 00:41:39,707 --> 00:41:40,541 'Evening! 564 00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:41,875 Hi! 565 00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,337 Are they all conspirators? 566 00:41:46,046 --> 00:41:47,214 Pardon? 567 00:41:47,381 --> 00:41:49,633 They're all conspirators? 568 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:50,884 What? 569 00:41:52,011 --> 00:41:53,387 They all are? 570 00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:55,681 Sure! 571 00:41:58,142 --> 00:41:59,893 And you too? 572 00:42:00,894 --> 00:42:02,187 You're one too? 573 00:42:02,646 --> 00:42:04,565 Isn't that obvious? 574 00:42:05,983 --> 00:42:08,777 Come on. I can't hear... 575 00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:15,617 You don't look like one. 576 00:42:16,577 --> 00:42:19,538 I haven't been for long. 577 00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,665 I'm not really one yet. 578 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:25,252 I want to but I don't know where to begin. 579 00:42:25,419 --> 00:42:28,839 It's easy! I can show you the ropes. 580 00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:34,928 That's kind. This wasn't my idea but a guy forced me into it. 581 00:42:35,387 --> 00:42:39,349 But now you're willing to participate? 582 00:42:39,850 --> 00:42:42,686 Sure! But I'm not really active. 583 00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,857 Can't passive roles be fun too? 584 00:42:47,274 --> 00:42:50,360 Let the others do all the work. 585 00:42:51,195 --> 00:42:52,696 That'd suit me! 586 00:42:53,113 --> 00:42:56,366 But I could give a helping hand. 587 00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:59,870 It's just I don't have the knack. 588 00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:03,123 Don't worry. 589 00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:05,501 Everything will be made easy for you. 590 00:43:06,919 --> 00:43:09,588 That'd be nice! 591 00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:11,756 Shall we dance? 592 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,674 Sure. 593 00:43:12,841 --> 00:43:13,967 Come on. 594 00:43:52,965 --> 00:43:54,758 What's wrong? 595 00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:56,969 They can't stand. 596 00:43:57,427 --> 00:43:59,888 This fool made them smoke! 597 00:44:00,848 --> 00:44:05,269 My arrival was scheduled for 5 PM. 598 00:44:05,644 --> 00:44:07,187 It's 2 AM! 599 00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:09,106 I know, my Queen! 600 00:44:09,273 --> 00:44:11,233 What does our guide say? 601 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,237 Oh, him! Hasch-Minafer! 602 00:44:16,572 --> 00:44:20,701 Cleopatra's the most beautiful! She's the best! 603 00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:25,956 What have I done to Osiris to deserve this? 604 00:44:26,123 --> 00:44:28,959 Draw and quarter him at once! 605 00:44:29,793 --> 00:44:35,007 I can't alone but once the guards wake, I'll do my best. 606 00:45:20,469 --> 00:45:21,511 Like it? 607 00:45:21,678 --> 00:45:24,223 Nice... But a bit sissyish. 608 00:45:25,933 --> 00:45:27,851 He's so funny! 609 00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:30,729 - Make yourself comfortable! - I'm fine. 610 00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:32,314 Thirsty? 611 00:45:32,481 --> 00:45:33,899 Champagne. 612 00:45:47,746 --> 00:45:48,997 It's good. 613 00:46:14,898 --> 00:46:18,110 We need to decide who does what. 614 00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:20,362 Sit down. 615 00:46:30,289 --> 00:46:31,915 Relax. 616 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,794 Let's not rush things. 617 00:46:35,961 --> 00:46:37,796 We've plenty of time. 618 00:46:38,005 --> 00:46:40,590 I'd rather work fast. 619 00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,634 Pick the right moment and... bang! 620 00:46:42,843 --> 00:46:44,720 You're hot stuff... 621 00:46:44,928 --> 00:46:47,180 The 1st part is hard but... 622 00:46:47,347 --> 00:46:50,434 once we begin, we have to go all the way. 623 00:46:51,184 --> 00:46:53,312 And no improvising! 624 00:46:53,478 --> 00:46:56,273 Just a little? 625 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:59,735 With an ordinary customer, maybe. 626 00:46:59,901 --> 00:47:03,280 But with Caesar, it has to be done just right. 627 00:47:05,073 --> 00:47:06,158 You know? 628 00:47:08,118 --> 00:47:09,118 I see you do. 629 00:47:17,461 --> 00:47:18,461 This can go. 630 00:47:23,675 --> 00:47:26,928 True, Caesar is an exceptional person, 631 00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:30,349 yet he's a man like all others. 632 00:47:30,515 --> 00:47:35,103 In certain realms, he must be treated only 633 00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:38,565 as a man and nothing more. 634 00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:41,735 For Man... 635 00:47:41,902 --> 00:47:43,528 Man is weak, 636 00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,696 my young patrician. 637 00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:47,532 True, it's not his fault 638 00:47:47,741 --> 00:47:50,243 but a question of mentality. 639 00:47:50,452 --> 00:47:54,206 But once Man is aware of his weakness, 640 00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:57,209 aware of his frailty 641 00:47:57,376 --> 00:48:01,213 and aware of his ugliness... 642 00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:06,551 For he is ugly! Man is ugly! 643 00:48:06,718 --> 00:48:08,970 - You do agree? - Yeah! 644 00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:11,723 Oh, thankless Nature 645 00:48:11,890 --> 00:48:15,227 who had Man modeled 646 00:48:15,394 --> 00:48:19,689 in the image of strength rather than grace! 647 00:48:19,856 --> 00:48:24,236 All that is male is force and ugliness. 648 00:48:24,403 --> 00:48:26,780 Walls. Rocks. Swords! 649 00:48:26,947 --> 00:48:29,908 Whereas all that is female 650 00:48:30,075 --> 00:48:33,245 is gentleness and tenderness. 651 00:48:33,412 --> 00:48:36,540 Flowers. Rivers. Music! 652 00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:40,252 You're too young, my young patrician, 653 00:48:40,419 --> 00:48:45,465 to have known Woman in all her splendor. 654 00:48:45,632 --> 00:48:47,884 Sure, but I get by. 655 00:48:52,931 --> 00:48:55,475 What poet, 656 00:48:55,684 --> 00:48:58,478 with tragic lucidity, 657 00:48:58,645 --> 00:49:03,733 will describe the male in all his horror? 658 00:49:03,900 --> 00:49:05,777 It's a horror. 659 00:49:06,528 --> 00:49:08,447 All of this is a horror! 660 00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:12,451 Head! Arm! Leg! Horrors! 661 00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:16,705 - A man's leg is ghastly, isn't it? - Yeah! 662 00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,584 Is an arm beautiful? 663 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:23,920 And breastless torsos! 664 00:49:24,087 --> 00:49:25,881 They're unbearable! 665 00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:29,176 Oh, heinous partition! 666 00:49:29,342 --> 00:49:32,137 Oh, infamous distribution! 667 00:49:32,304 --> 00:49:36,099 Only Woman was given all by the Gods! 668 00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:40,896 Woman is a copy of Man, 669 00:49:41,062 --> 00:49:44,941 but we are only a caricature! 670 00:49:45,108 --> 00:49:49,988 For we men are... 671 00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:53,950 We are... 672 00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:57,913 We are ugly! 673 00:49:58,205 --> 00:50:00,373 We're so ugly! 674 00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:05,629 Now you see that though his power be great, 675 00:50:06,505 --> 00:50:07,923 Caesar is nothing but... 676 00:50:08,089 --> 00:50:11,801 Caesar is nothing but a poor little guy 677 00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:14,221 Poor little guy! 678 00:50:14,429 --> 00:50:18,850 Don't exaggerate! He's still Emperor of Rome. 679 00:50:19,017 --> 00:50:21,770 He's not just anybody! 680 00:50:21,937 --> 00:50:24,356 He's guarded! It'll be hard 681 00:50:24,523 --> 00:50:26,274 to stab him in the mug 682 00:50:26,483 --> 00:50:27,943 or blow up his ass! 683 00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:31,363 But who'd want to do that? 684 00:50:32,113 --> 00:50:34,449 Stab his face 685 00:50:34,616 --> 00:50:36,117 or blow up his behind? 686 00:50:36,326 --> 00:50:38,161 Who? Us! 687 00:50:39,037 --> 00:50:41,498 Aren't we plotting to kill Caesar? 688 00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,208 Am I dreaming? 689 00:50:43,959 --> 00:50:47,295 It'll be hard to corner him. 690 00:50:47,462 --> 00:50:51,841 But once we get him, we can choose 691 00:50:52,008 --> 00:50:56,054 poison, stabbing, drowning in his bath, 692 00:50:56,221 --> 00:51:00,267 smothering or whatever we decide. 693 00:51:00,475 --> 00:51:02,269 Later we forget we ever met! 694 00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:03,728 Yes! 695 00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:05,855 Centurion! Guards! 696 00:51:06,064 --> 00:51:07,357 - Help! - Caesar! 697 00:51:07,566 --> 00:51:09,401 Arrest him! 698 00:51:09,568 --> 00:51:13,071 This hoodlum wants to kill me! To the dungeons with him! 699 00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,656 It's not me... 700 00:51:14,823 --> 00:51:15,824 Mr. Caesar! 701 00:51:15,991 --> 00:51:18,827 To the arena! To the lions! 702 00:51:19,828 --> 00:51:22,789 Hold me up, angels. I feel dizzy! 703 00:51:22,956 --> 00:51:24,791 He wants to kill me 704 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,127 with a sword! 705 00:51:27,877 --> 00:51:31,756 Put me on the cushions! 706 00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:35,135 I'm going to faint! 707 00:51:35,302 --> 00:51:37,971 Give me some air, baby! 708 00:51:44,978 --> 00:51:48,064 Watch the arch! We can't go under it. 709 00:51:48,523 --> 00:51:50,483 It's too low. 710 00:51:53,403 --> 00:51:56,656 What'll I look like now, 711 00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:59,117 arriving at Caesar's court this way? 712 00:51:59,284 --> 00:52:02,162 All the Roman Empire is watching me. 713 00:52:02,370 --> 00:52:04,205 Not at this hour. 714 00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:10,962 We can't get through there either. 715 00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:16,300 There! 716 00:52:16,343 --> 00:52:18,053 I told you so! 717 00:52:25,310 --> 00:52:30,065 Smear honey on these bearers and throw them to the ants! 718 00:52:30,231 --> 00:52:31,231 I'll do it. 719 00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:33,818 Once we find some honey. 720 00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:37,947 Bravo! 721 00:52:38,114 --> 00:52:40,867 Where's the principal street? 722 00:52:41,034 --> 00:52:42,243 For who? 723 00:52:42,410 --> 00:52:44,412 - For everyone! - For me, 724 00:52:44,621 --> 00:52:49,417 the principal street has the most bars 725 00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:52,212 but that one's the chic street. 726 00:52:54,422 --> 00:52:56,591 Where are they going? 727 00:52:56,758 --> 00:52:58,468 Straight ahead! 728 00:52:58,635 --> 00:53:00,178 By Osiris! Straight! 729 00:53:00,387 --> 00:53:04,182 They don't understand a thing. Shit! 730 00:53:05,684 --> 00:53:09,771 Not straight! Turn! 731 00:53:10,689 --> 00:53:12,524 Turn! 732 00:53:12,691 --> 00:53:14,317 Turn! 733 00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:19,614 Drawn and quartered! 734 00:53:19,823 --> 00:53:23,326 And thrown to the pigs! 735 00:53:35,714 --> 00:53:36,881 Patrician, 736 00:53:37,090 --> 00:53:39,092 could you help Cleopatra? 737 00:53:39,259 --> 00:53:40,844 Certainly! 738 00:53:41,052 --> 00:53:43,221 Just do as I say. 739 00:53:43,430 --> 00:53:47,517 Forward! Straight ahead! 740 00:53:47,684 --> 00:53:52,188 - The wall! - Now turn! Stop! 741 00:53:54,023 --> 00:53:55,316 Imbeciles! 742 00:53:55,525 --> 00:53:56,735 Morons! 743 00:53:56,901 --> 00:53:58,403 It's fate. 744 00:53:58,570 --> 00:54:01,489 To hell with fate! 745 00:54:04,492 --> 00:54:06,953 This is too much! 746 00:54:08,538 --> 00:54:10,707 I spent 3 hours doing 747 00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:14,669 my toes, hair and nails. All for Egypt! 748 00:54:14,836 --> 00:54:18,173 I rehearsed my arrival a month! 749 00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:21,176 Now I look like shit! 750 00:54:24,721 --> 00:54:27,223 Don't worry, divine Cleopatra. 751 00:54:27,390 --> 00:54:29,851 Nobody saw you. 752 00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:33,772 Right? 753 00:54:34,314 --> 00:54:37,984 We're lucky in our misfortune, my Queen. 754 00:54:38,151 --> 00:54:40,278 Great Roman patrician, 755 00:54:40,487 --> 00:54:42,614 where is Caesar's palace? 756 00:54:43,573 --> 00:54:46,201 I can't go there in this condition! 757 00:54:46,367 --> 00:54:49,621 How can I? My chariot's a wreck! 758 00:54:49,788 --> 00:54:52,373 Don't worry, divine Cleopatra. 759 00:54:52,582 --> 00:54:56,377 I got a pal who specializes in chariots. 760 00:54:56,544 --> 00:54:58,671 If you'll get in my taxi... 761 00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:06,721 My monkey and 2 falcons! 762 00:55:06,888 --> 00:55:08,723 Yeah. I know... 763 00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:15,897 Don't worry. I'll see to everything. 764 00:55:28,243 --> 00:55:30,078 Not too rough a ride? 765 00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:40,171 Looks like he's out. 766 00:55:50,431 --> 00:55:51,599 I'm a mess! 767 00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:53,601 You're ok. 768 00:55:54,185 --> 00:55:55,185 The bathroom? 769 00:55:55,311 --> 00:55:56,604 That way... 770 00:56:05,446 --> 00:56:06,865 What is it? 771 00:56:07,031 --> 00:56:08,533 - That! - What? 772 00:56:08,700 --> 00:56:12,745 My grandpa! Pharaoh Sesostris Amenofis Nyopartiefet... 773 00:56:13,496 --> 00:56:15,915 called Sesostris for short. 774 00:56:16,082 --> 00:56:17,417 Listen to this. 775 00:56:17,584 --> 00:56:21,880 "I place this portrait in the babe's cradle on the Nile." 776 00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:26,926 "Blessed be the finder. The boy will be Pharaoh of Egypt!" 777 00:56:27,135 --> 00:56:30,805 The baby placed in the cradle on the Nile 778 00:56:30,972 --> 00:56:33,516 was my brother Aminemefet! 779 00:56:33,683 --> 00:56:35,935 Grandpa raised me. 780 00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:40,315 7 years earlier, he'd put my brother in a foster home. 781 00:56:47,989 --> 00:56:50,700 Take this baby 782 00:56:50,867 --> 00:56:53,953 to Palestine. He's the future Pharaoh. 783 00:56:55,955 --> 00:57:00,877 I want him wet-nursed by my old Hebrew friends, 784 00:57:01,044 --> 00:57:04,923 Rachel and Simon Goldenberg. 785 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:18,560 Great Pharaoh, 786 00:57:19,062 --> 00:57:24,150 why does your grandson have to be suckled by a Hebrew nurse? 787 00:57:24,317 --> 00:57:26,319 Politics. 788 00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:30,865 Though he is not of Jewish blood, he will be of Jewish milk! 789 00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:35,161 Just after Aminemefet got there, 790 00:57:35,328 --> 00:57:39,248 Herod massacred all boys under 6 months of age. 791 00:57:39,415 --> 00:57:43,920 He feared the King of the Jews would take his throne. 792 00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:55,264 Rachel set my brother afloat on the Nile. 793 00:57:55,431 --> 00:57:56,849 Don't be so pushy! 794 00:57:57,016 --> 00:57:59,936 Get in line like everyone else! 795 00:58:00,103 --> 00:58:03,189 They persecute us too, ya know! 796 00:58:06,442 --> 00:58:09,070 We never heard of him after that. 797 00:58:09,487 --> 00:58:12,657 I must learn why this portrait is here. 798 00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:17,578 Your mechanic must know what's become of my brother. 799 00:58:19,288 --> 00:58:21,165 Who are the others? 800 00:58:21,332 --> 00:58:23,876 Nobody! There's no conspiracy! 801 00:58:24,043 --> 00:58:26,212 Caesar invited me in. 802 00:58:26,379 --> 00:58:28,172 For a drink? 803 00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:31,676 Yes! How could I know it was Caesar? 804 00:58:31,843 --> 00:58:35,763 His noble face is on all our banknotes! 805 00:58:35,930 --> 00:58:38,558 He wore a wig and mustache! 806 00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:41,477 I didn't recognize his kisser. 807 00:58:41,644 --> 00:58:46,315 Let me yank out his nails and 4 or5 teeth. 808 00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:48,317 I'll break an arm or two! 809 00:58:48,484 --> 00:58:51,738 No, I work with my hands! I'm not an egghead like you. 810 00:58:51,904 --> 00:58:54,490 Lucien loves tender broken arms. 811 00:58:54,657 --> 00:58:57,326 Lock him up! We'll go and search 812 00:58:57,493 --> 00:59:00,163 his garage for accomplices! 813 00:59:31,527 --> 00:59:33,571 Come out. You're surrounded! 814 00:59:34,572 --> 00:59:37,617 Give up! We're here in force! 815 00:59:38,659 --> 00:59:41,579 Ben-Hur's in jail! You're under arrest! 816 00:59:41,746 --> 00:59:44,457 May we know why? 817 00:59:45,166 --> 00:59:49,253 For conspiracy against Caesar and Cleopatra! 818 00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:53,466 I am Cleopatra. Queen of Egypt. 819 00:59:55,635 --> 00:59:58,888 And why not Caesar's wife while you're at it? 820 00:59:59,097 --> 01:00:02,016 I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt! 821 01:00:02,183 --> 01:00:04,102 I demand the honors 822 01:00:04,310 --> 01:00:05,770 worthy of my rank. 823 01:00:05,937 --> 01:00:09,899 Cleopatra in a garage at 6 AM? Sure! 824 01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:13,528 And where're your chariot and your tiara? 825 01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:17,865 Her tiara is in her chariot with a monkey and 2 falcons. 826 01:00:18,032 --> 01:00:20,118 A monkey and 2 falcons! 827 01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:23,621 Yes. A monkey and 2 falcons. 828 01:00:25,331 --> 01:00:29,585 Run this drunk in, along with the dame! 829 01:00:30,419 --> 01:00:32,296 I spent a whole day 830 01:00:32,463 --> 01:00:35,466 on skin care, a bubblebath and massage. 831 01:00:35,633 --> 01:00:40,638 I went to town, I even spring-cleaned for that Indian! 832 01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:41,805 Egyptian! 833 01:00:43,057 --> 01:00:44,308 She's Egyptian. 834 01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:48,146 Egyptian! Indian! What's the difference? 835 01:00:49,272 --> 01:00:52,525 All I know is she's late. 836 01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:57,321 That idiot's going to screw up my party! 837 01:00:57,905 --> 01:01:01,409 Can't you find out where she is? 838 01:01:02,118 --> 01:01:04,745 You and your Rosetta-stone cops! 839 01:01:06,497 --> 01:01:07,999 My nerves! 840 01:01:08,791 --> 01:01:10,042 They're shot! 841 01:01:10,209 --> 01:01:13,838 And I was attacked in my room at 2 AM 842 01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:16,424 by a bloodthirsty terrorist! 843 01:01:16,591 --> 01:01:19,260 Your door has 24-hour guards! 844 01:01:19,427 --> 01:01:20,887 Yes but... 845 01:01:21,053 --> 01:01:24,056 What? What are you insinuating? 846 01:01:24,849 --> 01:01:26,601 Have you finished? 847 01:01:26,767 --> 01:01:30,646 Keep your remarks to yourself. That's not the problem. 848 01:01:32,982 --> 01:01:34,275 Where's Cleopatra? 849 01:01:36,652 --> 01:01:39,488 Hail, Demetrios! Hail, Caesar! 850 01:01:41,490 --> 01:01:42,700 And Cleopatra? 851 01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:44,952 Still no news, Consul. 852 01:01:46,913 --> 01:01:48,748 Such incompetence! 853 01:01:48,915 --> 01:01:52,501 The Queen of Egypt is roaming a land 854 01:01:52,668 --> 01:01:54,962 we claim to control 855 01:01:55,129 --> 01:02:00,134 in a chariot with camels, a monkey and 2 falcons 856 01:02:00,301 --> 01:02:02,428 and nobody's noticed her? 857 01:02:03,095 --> 01:02:05,431 A monkey and 2 falcons? 858 01:02:06,265 --> 01:02:07,265 Yes! 859 01:02:07,308 --> 01:02:10,686 A monkey and 2 falcons! 860 01:02:10,853 --> 01:02:14,982 Even a gross Gaul knows Cleopatra always has 861 01:02:15,149 --> 01:02:17,735 a monkey and 2 falcons with her. 862 01:02:17,944 --> 01:02:19,654 A monkey and 2 falcons? 863 01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:21,072 Yes! 864 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,366 A monkey and 2 falcons! 865 01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:27,411 Is he retarded or what? 866 01:02:27,578 --> 01:02:29,497 At a garage 867 01:02:29,705 --> 01:02:33,042 we just picked up a dame who says she's Cleopatra 868 01:02:33,209 --> 01:02:36,462 and her pal spoke about a monkey and 2 falcons. 869 01:02:37,505 --> 01:02:41,008 A garage? She said she's Cleopatra? 870 01:02:41,175 --> 01:02:42,677 Yes, noble Consul. 871 01:02:42,843 --> 01:02:43,843 You arrested her? 872 01:02:43,886 --> 01:02:45,096 Of course. 873 01:02:45,263 --> 01:02:46,347 Is it her? 874 01:02:46,514 --> 01:02:47,640 I don't know. 875 01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:49,892 He doesn't know! 876 01:02:50,059 --> 01:02:52,770 Everyone knows we've lost Cleopatra. 877 01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:55,648 He finds one but he can't tell 878 01:02:55,815 --> 01:02:58,693 a Queen of Egypt with a monkey and 2 falcons 879 01:02:58,901 --> 01:03:00,820 from a local whore! 880 01:03:00,987 --> 01:03:02,989 A woman in an evening gown 881 01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:04,740 at 6 AM... 882 01:03:04,907 --> 01:03:09,036 At 6 AM? Such taste! 883 01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:10,203 Where is she? 884 01:03:10,288 --> 01:03:11,872 The arena prison. 885 01:03:12,039 --> 01:03:14,625 By Jupiter! My chariot! 886 01:03:18,087 --> 01:03:19,964 Where'd you get this? 887 01:03:20,131 --> 01:03:23,301 It was in my cradle. 888 01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:25,011 By Osiris! 889 01:03:25,678 --> 01:03:28,973 I was found abandoned on the Nile. 890 01:03:29,140 --> 01:03:30,850 It was in the cradle. 891 01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:34,562 Ben-Hur Gaston, my adopted dad, 892 01:03:34,729 --> 01:03:36,397 taught me to be a mechanic. 893 01:03:36,564 --> 01:03:38,941 He put that on the wall. 894 01:03:39,108 --> 01:03:42,153 But you never read it? 895 01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:45,823 Hieroglyphics are Greek to me. 896 01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:49,660 If this papyrus was in your cradle, 897 01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:52,330 you're my brother! 898 01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:53,622 She's kiddin'? 899 01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:56,250 No. The papyrus says it's true. 900 01:03:56,417 --> 01:03:58,711 You read papyrus? 901 01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:01,922 It says you're her brother named... 902 01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,466 Aminemefet! 903 01:04:03,632 --> 01:04:05,426 - Your brother? - Yes 904 01:04:05,843 --> 01:04:09,722 and heir to the throne of Egypt! 905 01:04:11,599 --> 01:04:13,142 Your resemble Grandpa! 906 01:04:13,309 --> 01:04:16,354 Stop shittin' me! You're my sis? 907 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:17,355 Yes! 908 01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:19,190 Shit! 909 01:04:19,357 --> 01:04:23,319 A brother and sister! What a feast, Lucien! 910 01:04:38,626 --> 01:04:39,794 Coming! 911 01:04:40,461 --> 01:04:41,712 Who's there? 912 01:04:43,172 --> 01:04:44,465 The Consul! 913 01:04:50,179 --> 01:04:51,180 Is that her? 914 01:04:51,347 --> 01:04:52,723 Absolutely. 915 01:04:54,183 --> 01:04:56,560 Divine Cleopatra! 916 01:04:56,727 --> 01:05:00,272 Forgive me. I throw myself at your feet. 917 01:05:00,439 --> 01:05:02,566 An incredible error. 918 01:05:02,733 --> 01:05:04,902 A police screw-up. 919 01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:07,446 They're fools led by a fool! 920 01:05:07,613 --> 01:05:08,781 I agree. 921 01:05:08,948 --> 01:05:12,701 Divine Cleopatra, how may I be forgiven? 922 01:05:12,868 --> 01:05:16,080 Begin by letting us out of here. 923 01:05:16,247 --> 01:05:18,165 Certainly! 924 01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:20,376 Move it! 925 01:05:20,543 --> 01:05:22,002 He means you! 926 01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:33,722 My chariot! 927 01:05:33,889 --> 01:05:36,684 Make way for Cleopatra! 928 01:05:36,851 --> 01:05:39,228 Not you. What are you doing here? 929 01:05:40,271 --> 01:05:43,023 Let me present my brother... 930 01:05:43,190 --> 01:05:46,152 Pharaoh Aminemefet! 931 01:05:46,318 --> 01:05:49,238 If you don't mind, Mr. Commoner! 932 01:05:51,323 --> 01:05:52,323 And him? 933 01:05:52,408 --> 01:05:53,826 My chief general! 934 01:05:55,703 --> 01:05:56,912 Divine Cleopatra... 935 01:06:05,463 --> 01:06:09,300 Back to canned cat food, Lucien! 936 01:06:26,901 --> 01:06:28,319 Are you nuts? 937 01:06:29,737 --> 01:06:31,906 7! Red! 938 01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:37,745 The Romans really know how to have fun! 939 01:06:38,913 --> 01:06:40,873 Politics keep us too busy. 940 01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:42,333 And money! 941 01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:45,085 And the Oat-Producers' Congress! 942 01:06:45,252 --> 01:06:48,714 We've no time to play! 943 01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:50,549 Very true! 944 01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:54,178 Who'd defend our interests except us? 945 01:06:54,345 --> 01:06:58,516 We need an agent who's young, 946 01:06:58,682 --> 01:07:00,935 dynamic and trustworthy 947 01:07:01,101 --> 01:07:03,437 to be our Western sales rep! 948 01:07:03,854 --> 01:07:06,982 We need a guy to stand up for us. 949 01:07:07,149 --> 01:07:08,359 An energetic guy. 950 01:07:08,526 --> 01:07:12,279 The merchants have Ben-Hur Marcel. 951 01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:14,782 So let's ask Ben-Hur Marcel! 952 01:07:14,949 --> 01:07:16,325 He's a civilian. 953 01:07:16,492 --> 01:07:18,869 No, he's a pharaoh! 954 01:07:25,459 --> 01:07:28,128 That's the last straw! 955 01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:31,674 I repainted the royal apartments, 956 01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:35,678 washed the mosaics, got new rugs and flowers 957 01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:38,180 and she stays in a garage! 958 01:07:38,347 --> 01:07:40,641 She's at her brother's. 959 01:07:40,849 --> 01:07:42,977 What a political change. 960 01:07:43,143 --> 01:07:46,772 If Ben-Hur Marcel is Pharaoh, you'll deal with him. 961 01:07:47,565 --> 01:07:50,609 Cleopatra's visit is meaningless. 962 01:07:50,776 --> 01:07:52,945 You won't need to wed her. 963 01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:59,618 What a relief! It's easier to get along with... 964 01:07:59,785 --> 01:08:02,621 a pharaoh than a pharess, eh? 965 01:08:02,788 --> 01:08:04,123 What's he like? 966 01:08:04,290 --> 01:08:06,083 Sort of pudgy. 967 01:08:06,250 --> 01:08:07,710 Really? 968 01:08:07,876 --> 01:08:11,463 Listen, sweety, the country's future 969 01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:16,135 and politics come before personal interests. 970 01:08:16,302 --> 01:08:19,388 So I'll see this pudgy boy. 971 01:08:19,555 --> 01:08:21,432 I'll go see him. 972 01:08:21,599 --> 01:08:25,561 I mean, I'll go see the young Pharaoh. 973 01:08:37,990 --> 01:08:38,991 That? 974 01:08:39,158 --> 01:08:40,701 Yes, Caesar. 975 01:08:40,868 --> 01:08:44,663 I'll get grease all over me! 976 01:08:47,625 --> 01:08:49,209 Let Caesar pass! 977 01:08:58,552 --> 01:09:00,679 Tell me, young patrician... 978 01:09:06,352 --> 01:09:07,186 What? 979 01:09:07,353 --> 01:09:09,730 It's him! The killer! 980 01:09:09,938 --> 01:09:13,567 Guards, seize him! Careful! 981 01:09:13,776 --> 01:09:15,402 He's armed! 982 01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:17,363 Not again! 983 01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:18,572 What is this? 984 01:09:18,739 --> 01:09:21,158 He tried to kill me! 985 01:09:21,367 --> 01:09:24,286 He told me to! 986 01:09:24,453 --> 01:09:26,789 You told him what? 987 01:09:26,955 --> 01:09:28,707 Me? Nothing! 988 01:09:28,874 --> 01:09:30,074 You'd better hold your tongue! 989 01:09:30,209 --> 01:09:33,504 You can't talk to Pharaoh that way! 990 01:09:33,671 --> 01:09:34,755 Seize this man! 991 01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:40,803 What is all this? 992 01:09:40,969 --> 01:09:43,555 Guards, seize that one too! 993 01:09:46,100 --> 01:09:48,143 You can't. He's my pal! 994 01:09:48,310 --> 01:09:49,603 Seize him! 995 01:09:50,938 --> 01:09:54,525 This is incredible! 996 01:09:54,692 --> 01:09:57,319 Guards, seize these guards! 997 01:09:58,737 --> 01:10:01,615 What? Guards, grab these guards! 998 01:10:11,583 --> 01:10:12,918 What's going on? 999 01:10:13,085 --> 01:10:15,129 It's weird, my Queen. What's going on? 1000 01:10:24,430 --> 01:10:26,598 Mighty Caesar, I presume? 1001 01:10:27,641 --> 01:10:28,767 Obviously. 1002 01:10:28,934 --> 01:10:30,310 Where did she spring from? 1003 01:10:30,519 --> 01:10:34,815 I am accustomed to warmer welcomes. 1004 01:10:35,023 --> 01:10:36,984 She's divine Cleopatra! 1005 01:10:38,527 --> 01:10:41,780 Glad to greet you, divine Cleopatra. 1006 01:10:41,989 --> 01:10:43,323 About time! 1007 01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:47,035 The pleasure's all mine, Caesar. 1008 01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:49,037 This is my brother, 1009 01:10:49,246 --> 01:10:51,165 Pharaoh Aminemefet. 1010 01:10:51,582 --> 01:10:53,625 Impossible! He's the one! 1011 01:10:53,834 --> 01:10:56,837 He told me to do it. Believe me now? 1012 01:10:57,254 --> 01:11:00,799 He could tell everyone how he met you! 1013 01:11:00,966 --> 01:11:02,217 So? 1014 01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:04,470 Yes. That's true. 1015 01:11:04,678 --> 01:11:06,805 Would you like a drink? 1016 01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:08,974 No. Thank you, divine one. 1017 01:11:09,183 --> 01:11:12,686 I just came to officially invite you 1018 01:11:12,853 --> 01:11:15,439 to the Circus Games on Sunday. 1019 01:11:15,647 --> 01:11:18,025 With pleasure, mighty Caesar. 1020 01:11:18,442 --> 01:11:21,320 The contestants are prime quality. 1021 01:11:22,279 --> 01:11:23,989 I hear your gladiators 1022 01:11:24,198 --> 01:11:25,449 are very good. 1023 01:11:25,616 --> 01:11:29,661 I hear your chariot driver is very skilled! 1024 01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:36,710 Don't let me interrupt you. 1025 01:11:37,795 --> 01:11:41,340 There may be a change to the program. 1026 01:11:41,507 --> 01:11:45,010 Askisserus knows Egyptian customs and, 1027 01:11:45,177 --> 01:11:47,387 in international games, 1028 01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:50,516 the Pharaoh, when present, 1029 01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:52,100 heads the Egyptian team. 1030 01:11:52,267 --> 01:11:53,310 Exactly. 1031 01:11:53,477 --> 01:11:58,690 So Ben-Hur Marcel... Aminemafet will represent your country. 1032 01:11:58,857 --> 01:12:00,150 Normally, yes. 1033 01:12:02,069 --> 01:12:03,487 Very good! 1034 01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:07,115 I'm honored but that doesn't suit me. 1035 01:12:07,282 --> 01:12:09,117 Sunday I'm busy 1036 01:12:09,284 --> 01:12:11,870 and I can't take a union man's job. 1037 01:12:12,037 --> 01:12:13,455 You've no choice. 1038 01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:15,374 It's the custom. 1039 01:12:15,958 --> 01:12:18,836 The custom? That's a bummer! 1040 01:12:21,713 --> 01:12:25,425 On patrol and sentry-duty, 1041 01:12:25,634 --> 01:12:28,720 a Roman guard sweats under his armor. 1042 01:12:28,929 --> 01:12:32,558 Armpitus! The trooper's deodorant 1043 01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:35,143 for soldiers of taste. 1044 01:12:35,310 --> 01:12:38,438 Live today from the Rahat-Locum Circus. 1045 01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:42,401 We're here for the Circus Games being given by Caesar, 1046 01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:45,988 Master of the Western World, 1047 01:12:46,154 --> 01:12:48,574 for Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, 1048 01:12:48,740 --> 01:12:51,410 5'8", 104 pounds, 1049 01:12:52,077 --> 01:12:55,247 out of Amenofistofelet of the 18th Dynasty 1050 01:12:55,414 --> 01:12:57,165 by Adtorsis. 1051 01:12:59,167 --> 01:13:01,920 21 on the Gallic chariot! 1052 01:13:13,599 --> 01:13:16,643 She rules Egypt! Each pyramid and crypt 1053 01:13:16,810 --> 01:13:19,855 Sings praise to her ancestors 1054 01:13:20,022 --> 01:13:23,525 Cleopatra! 1055 01:13:24,276 --> 01:13:27,529 Beneath the sky of Egyptus Grows the eucalyptus 1056 01:13:27,738 --> 01:13:30,741 Amid blossoms and rocks Glide swans and peacocks 1057 01:13:30,949 --> 01:13:34,661 Cleopatra! 1058 01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:37,998 Emperors! Caliphs! In hieroglyphs 1059 01:13:38,165 --> 01:13:41,126 Let her name be writ Should Champollion find it 1060 01:13:46,465 --> 01:13:49,593 One day in Egypt And thereafter transmit 1061 01:13:49,760 --> 01:13:52,971 This inscription: She's glad to be Egyptian 1062 01:14:19,373 --> 01:14:20,373 What's this? 1063 01:14:20,499 --> 01:14:21,750 What's what? 1064 01:14:22,584 --> 01:14:24,252 This mad circus? 1065 01:14:24,419 --> 01:14:27,464 But it's your circus! 1066 01:14:27,631 --> 01:14:30,217 What're these sideshows doing, 1067 01:14:30,425 --> 01:14:32,803 these things in my circus? 1068 01:14:33,011 --> 01:14:35,097 It's advertising! 1069 01:14:35,681 --> 01:14:36,681 What? 1070 01:14:37,349 --> 01:14:40,519 I ordered a grandiose celebration! 1071 01:14:42,771 --> 01:14:46,692 Caesar, the coffers are empty. 1072 01:14:46,858 --> 01:14:48,777 We had to find a solution. 1073 01:14:50,946 --> 01:14:55,492 Pardon me for involving you in such a farce. 1074 01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:58,578 Tomorrow, I'll have it all moved. 1075 01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:02,708 Never mind. We're all in the same boat. 1076 01:15:18,265 --> 01:15:20,809 Stay alert! Watch for my signal. 1077 01:15:21,643 --> 01:15:23,979 Are you in love, ladies? 1078 01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:27,607 Make your gladiator glad! Wear Frivolitus! 1079 01:15:30,235 --> 01:15:32,571 Ready to go, boys? 1080 01:15:32,738 --> 01:15:36,575 We'll eat those Romans alive. 1081 01:15:36,742 --> 01:15:40,245 We'll make mincemeat of the Egyptians. 1082 01:15:40,412 --> 01:15:42,873 How's Ben-Hur Marcel? 1083 01:15:43,040 --> 01:15:45,125 Fine! But a bit tired 1084 01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:48,503 from tuning up his chariot. 1085 01:15:50,172 --> 01:15:53,759 - Have you seen it? - No, not yet. 1086 01:15:53,925 --> 01:15:55,218 You should. 1087 01:15:55,385 --> 01:15:58,055 It concerns you most of all. 1088 01:15:58,221 --> 01:16:00,974 - Worth a detour? - And how! 1089 01:16:01,183 --> 01:16:04,728 Divine Cleopatra, mighty Caesar, hail! 1090 01:16:05,187 --> 01:16:08,857 Ladies and gentlemen of Rome, foreign friends, 1091 01:16:09,441 --> 01:16:11,610 today's games offered by mighty Caesar 1092 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,196 to divine Cleopatra 1093 01:16:14,362 --> 01:16:17,574 will allow us to designate but one victor! 1094 01:16:17,741 --> 01:16:20,869 First event, the chariot race! 1095 01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:27,667 The chariots are ready to start! 1096 01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:32,756 They're coming onto the track. 1097 01:16:33,090 --> 01:16:35,801 I'll give you their names and numbers 1098 01:16:35,967 --> 01:16:38,553 before the draw. 1099 01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:42,349 The Greek entry driven by Efistalopoulos 1100 01:16:42,516 --> 01:16:44,726 for King Simonides' stables 1101 01:16:44,935 --> 01:16:49,189 has been scratched and will be replaced by chariot 2. 1102 01:16:50,190 --> 01:16:54,194 Now they're off and it's an admirable sight! 1103 01:16:54,402 --> 01:16:56,822 A remarkable ballet 1104 01:16:57,030 --> 01:17:00,951 of machines, men and horses in perfect harmony! 1105 01:17:01,118 --> 01:17:04,746 The haughty herd of hammering hooves 1106 01:17:05,163 --> 01:17:07,707 makes the dust dance like stars 1107 01:17:07,874 --> 01:17:10,335 in the sparkling air 1108 01:17:10,544 --> 01:17:12,212 of the multi-hued arena. 1109 01:17:12,796 --> 01:17:15,882 What's going on? The chariots are lining up 1110 01:17:16,466 --> 01:17:19,010 before mighty Caesar, 1111 01:17:19,636 --> 01:17:23,515 5'9", 180 lbs, son of Nero, grandson of Caligula, 1112 01:17:23,682 --> 01:17:26,893 a fine line that has given the empire so many leaders. 1113 01:17:27,102 --> 01:17:29,896 Ladies and gentlemen, 1114 01:17:30,063 --> 01:17:34,067 in all my 40 years with Imperial Roman TV, 1115 01:17:34,234 --> 01:17:37,529 I have never seen such a thing! 1116 01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:41,867 What's wrong with them? 1117 01:17:42,033 --> 01:17:43,118 Mighty Caesar, 1118 01:17:43,326 --> 01:17:44,911 consider the race over. 1119 01:17:45,078 --> 01:17:47,122 We abandon the competition. 1120 01:17:47,289 --> 01:17:49,207 We cannot race against Ben-Hur Marcel. 1121 01:17:49,416 --> 01:17:53,044 He is our master. We ask you to declare him 1122 01:17:53,253 --> 01:17:54,880 the winner. 1123 01:17:55,046 --> 01:17:56,756 This is absurd! 1124 01:17:56,923 --> 01:18:01,219 Firstly, where is this Ben-Hur Marcel? 1125 01:18:13,064 --> 01:18:14,566 My brother's good! 1126 01:18:14,733 --> 01:18:15,775 Not bad! 1127 01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:17,986 The chariot is illegal. 1128 01:18:19,029 --> 01:18:21,489 It meets Egyptian specifications. 1129 01:18:22,949 --> 01:18:24,409 Now! 1130 01:18:25,911 --> 01:18:30,665 The Arab world respects Egypt's rules. 1131 01:18:30,832 --> 01:18:33,376 So we beg you, mighty Caesar, 1132 01:18:33,543 --> 01:18:36,588 to declare Aminemefet the winner! 1133 01:18:37,672 --> 01:18:38,673 They can't! 1134 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:42,719 They can. They control all the energy, you idiot! 1135 01:18:42,886 --> 01:18:44,095 What? 1136 01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:47,891 The consul means we should be diplomatic 1137 01:18:48,058 --> 01:18:49,935 with our powerful guests. 1138 01:18:50,101 --> 01:18:54,314 But they're going too far... Really! 1139 01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:55,815 What do I do? 1140 01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:57,525 Declare him the winner. 1141 01:18:58,568 --> 01:19:01,238 I declare Ben-Hur Marcel... 1142 01:19:01,446 --> 01:19:03,073 Aminemefet... 1143 01:19:04,908 --> 01:19:08,245 Aminemefet the winner! 1144 01:19:36,856 --> 01:19:40,527 Divine Cleopatra, mighty Caesar, Romans, 1145 01:19:40,735 --> 01:19:41,736 foreign friends, 1146 01:19:41,903 --> 01:19:44,281 Aminemefet of Egypt 1147 01:19:44,447 --> 01:19:47,951 has won the chariot race. 1148 01:19:48,118 --> 01:19:49,619 But now he must confront 1149 01:19:50,036 --> 01:19:53,790 gladiators, animals and other stuff. 1150 01:19:53,999 --> 01:19:56,501 Gladiators, to your places! 1151 01:20:00,130 --> 01:20:05,051 The gladiators the young Pharaoh will face are, 1152 01:20:05,218 --> 01:20:09,389 if I may say so, the crème de la crème 1153 01:20:09,556 --> 01:20:12,309 of the Empire's fighters. We are about to see 1154 01:20:12,517 --> 01:20:16,479 the myrmidon Placius, trained by Valerian, 1155 01:20:16,646 --> 01:20:20,108 the Thracian Mauritius who beat 1156 01:20:20,317 --> 01:20:23,486 Homo Placus Miserias Ventris 1157 01:20:23,653 --> 01:20:27,282 in 1 minute 27 seconds 6 tenths, 1158 01:20:27,490 --> 01:20:30,035 and the fantastic, colossal 1159 01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:34,247 and indeed scary Secutor Flavian Magister, 1160 01:20:34,706 --> 01:20:38,793 of whom they say "Even when absent, he terrifies!" 1161 01:20:41,171 --> 01:20:45,550 Those about to die in agonizing convulsions, 1162 01:20:45,759 --> 01:20:48,261 writhing in pain in a pool of blood... 1163 01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:50,347 Skip the details. 1164 01:20:51,431 --> 01:20:53,933 Those about to die salute thee! 1165 01:20:54,768 --> 01:20:57,354 Fate will now designate Aminemefet's opponent. 1166 01:20:58,063 --> 01:21:00,899 Divine Cleopatra! Mighty Caesar! 1167 01:21:01,232 --> 01:21:03,651 Aminemefet's fate lies 1168 01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:05,570 in your hands! 1169 01:21:06,946 --> 01:21:08,865 Divine Cleopatra... 1170 01:21:09,991 --> 01:21:11,659 The honor is yours! 1171 01:21:17,457 --> 01:21:19,501 5 and 2, 7. 1172 01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:27,842 6 and 3, 9. 1173 01:21:29,928 --> 01:21:33,473 Caesar, what opponent do you choose? 1174 01:21:35,683 --> 01:21:38,186 I'll give him a tough one. 1175 01:21:40,355 --> 01:21:41,355 Secutor! 1176 01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:45,902 Caesar has chosen Secutor. 1177 01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:22,021 He looks in shape. 1178 01:22:22,188 --> 01:22:24,065 The short guy? I'll waste him. 1179 01:22:24,482 --> 01:22:26,734 Yeah, you'll waste him 1180 01:22:27,110 --> 01:22:30,363 but next Sunday some guy'II waste you! 1181 01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:35,034 Weird job you do, getting beaten up all the time. 1182 01:22:35,201 --> 01:22:37,036 Caesar doesn't give a damn. 1183 01:22:38,163 --> 01:22:39,539 What's going on? 1184 01:22:40,039 --> 01:22:42,083 Ya got no coverage! 1185 01:22:42,250 --> 01:22:45,128 No social security! 1186 01:22:45,336 --> 01:22:46,754 No Medicare! 1187 01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:50,258 And because you die out there, not even a pension plan. 1188 01:22:51,301 --> 01:22:53,428 I'd change jobs. 1189 01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:57,098 What you say is true. 1190 01:22:59,058 --> 01:23:01,269 Ya ought to fight back. 1191 01:23:01,769 --> 01:23:03,146 Ya need a guy 1192 01:23:04,022 --> 01:23:05,899 to defend your interests! 1193 01:23:06,191 --> 01:23:07,984 He's hard to find. 1194 01:23:08,151 --> 01:23:09,486 Come here. 1195 01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:20,497 Hey, fellas! 1196 01:23:20,705 --> 01:23:22,790 That's enough! 1197 01:23:23,875 --> 01:23:25,251 What're you up to? 1198 01:23:34,135 --> 01:23:37,805 Mighty Caesar. I've talked to my comrades. 1199 01:23:38,515 --> 01:23:42,143 We feel our labor classification is unjust. 1200 01:23:42,685 --> 01:23:47,065 From now on, we want official gladiator status 1201 01:23:47,232 --> 01:23:50,026 with social and fiscal advantages. 1202 01:23:50,527 --> 01:23:53,738 If not, we strike. Right, guys? 1203 01:23:55,198 --> 01:23:57,367 They're punch-drunk! 1204 01:23:58,284 --> 01:23:59,994 Go fight! 1205 01:24:00,620 --> 01:24:01,871 I'll give you 1206 01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:04,666 what you want but fight! 1207 01:24:06,125 --> 01:24:07,919 Get it in writing! 1208 01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:10,755 We want that in writing! 1209 01:24:11,297 --> 01:24:13,841 The Consul must meet your union rep. 1210 01:24:14,259 --> 01:24:17,720 The Consul must talk to our union rep! 1211 01:24:20,181 --> 01:24:24,310 And who is your union representative? 1212 01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:25,812 My colleagues and I 1213 01:24:26,020 --> 01:24:29,357 have democratically elected Ben-Hur Marcel. 1214 01:24:29,566 --> 01:24:33,069 That pudgy thing'll drive me crazy! 1215 01:24:33,444 --> 01:24:35,572 I'm fed up! 1216 01:24:36,072 --> 01:24:39,742 Guards! Force the gladiators to fight! 1217 01:24:40,326 --> 01:24:43,162 - Well? - No hassle! Go! 1218 01:24:48,793 --> 01:24:50,295 No, mighty Caesar! 1219 01:24:50,503 --> 01:24:52,046 We won't budge. 1220 01:24:52,255 --> 01:24:55,300 As the Roman security force, we're made to do the dirty work. 1221 01:24:55,466 --> 01:24:56,926 That's why we're hated. 1222 01:24:57,093 --> 01:25:00,805 We beat up students, we beat up workers, 1223 01:25:00,972 --> 01:25:03,391 but we won't beat up strikers. 1224 01:25:06,394 --> 01:25:08,896 We're working for Ben-Hur Marcel from now on! 1225 01:25:09,105 --> 01:25:10,732 Long live Ben-Hur Marcel! 1226 01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:16,946 I don't feel at all well. 1227 01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:19,157 My gala is a bust! 1228 01:25:19,324 --> 01:25:22,619 My arena, plastered with soap ads! 1229 01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:26,581 My guards turned into sandwich-men! 1230 01:25:27,624 --> 01:25:30,752 I'm covered with ridicule! 1231 01:25:31,586 --> 01:25:34,130 They'll still be laughing in the 20th century! 1232 01:25:34,339 --> 01:25:36,841 Get hold of yourself, mighty Caesar! 1233 01:25:37,008 --> 01:25:39,886 I'm sick of that pudgy thing! 1234 01:25:40,053 --> 01:25:43,056 Get rid of him. Rid me of him! 1235 01:25:43,389 --> 01:25:46,851 If you love me, get rid of him. 1236 01:25:50,480 --> 01:25:52,231 Calm down! 1237 01:25:52,398 --> 01:25:55,109 Your wild beasts won't betray you. 1238 01:25:55,276 --> 01:25:57,403 They don't want welfare benefits! 1239 01:25:57,570 --> 01:25:58,655 They don't? 1240 01:25:58,821 --> 01:26:02,283 Straighten up! Be the mighty Caesar! 1241 01:26:02,450 --> 01:26:06,079 At times, it's very hard. 1242 01:26:07,413 --> 01:26:08,665 Ok... 1243 01:26:09,791 --> 01:26:14,754 Gladiators, is that your last word? 1244 01:26:15,171 --> 01:26:16,506 Absolutely! 1245 01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:39,654 What do I do? 1246 01:26:39,821 --> 01:26:41,280 Explode or what? 1247 01:26:41,989 --> 01:26:44,701 I'll hang on. I'm Emperor. 1248 01:26:45,785 --> 01:26:47,745 Aminemefet, the winner! 1249 01:26:51,249 --> 01:26:52,834 Romans! 1250 01:27:04,220 --> 01:27:08,015 Respect for democratic principles forces me 1251 01:27:08,182 --> 01:27:11,018 to yield to popular demands. 1252 01:27:11,561 --> 01:27:14,772 But the games are not over! 1253 01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:17,442 The wild beasts are waiting! 1254 01:27:18,526 --> 01:27:21,988 Aminemefet has won the gladiator event. 1255 01:27:22,155 --> 01:27:24,574 He'll now face a wild beast. 1256 01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:28,828 Divine Cleopatra! Caesar! Your play! 1257 01:27:35,293 --> 01:27:36,294 A double 5! 1258 01:27:40,965 --> 01:27:44,051 I love your hair. You use a rinse? 1259 01:27:44,218 --> 01:27:45,720 It's natural. 1260 01:27:45,887 --> 01:27:49,599 But I use cyclamen-juice shampoo. 1261 01:27:49,807 --> 01:27:52,935 I must try it. Isn't it nice, Tatoous? 1262 01:27:53,102 --> 01:27:54,687 Not bad, my Queen. 1263 01:27:56,689 --> 01:27:58,399 Well? 1264 01:27:59,150 --> 01:28:02,111 A double 6! I get to choose. 1265 01:28:03,488 --> 01:28:06,407 What is Divine Cleopatra's choice? 1266 01:28:09,243 --> 01:28:10,369 The lion! 1267 01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:13,039 Cleopatra has chosen the lion! 1268 01:28:20,338 --> 01:28:22,381 Yes! It's him! 1269 01:28:22,590 --> 01:28:26,135 Lucien the Lion! Like 9 out of 10 beasts, 1270 01:28:26,302 --> 01:28:28,805 Lucien prefers Caninus! 1271 01:28:29,013 --> 01:28:32,558 Caninus! The big feast in a little can! 1272 01:28:45,279 --> 01:28:49,242 For silky fur, use Hairsheenus! 1273 01:28:49,408 --> 01:28:52,453 The shampoo with that jungle aroma! 1274 01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:02,171 We're on TV live! For free! 1275 01:29:02,964 --> 01:29:06,425 Caninus, a feast for your pets! 1276 01:29:07,218 --> 01:29:09,136 That lion's eaten so much, 1277 01:29:09,470 --> 01:29:10,513 he can't get 1278 01:29:10,721 --> 01:29:12,348 off his ass! 1279 01:29:29,991 --> 01:29:31,993 Even the lion... 1280 01:29:32,159 --> 01:29:33,911 Even the lion... 1281 01:29:34,120 --> 01:29:36,539 Cleopatra! Caesar! 1282 01:29:36,706 --> 01:29:39,333 I never saw this happen before! 1283 01:29:40,459 --> 01:29:43,129 So... Aminemefet, the winner! 1284 01:29:43,671 --> 01:29:46,048 Aminemefet, the winner! 1285 01:29:52,722 --> 01:29:57,018 That does it. Poison me! I want to die! 1286 01:29:57,184 --> 01:29:59,812 Give me hemlock, with a little sugar. 1287 01:30:07,403 --> 01:30:11,073 You must congratulate the victor! 1288 01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:12,533 Never! 1289 01:30:12,700 --> 01:30:15,202 It's the tradition. You must embrace the winner. 1290 01:30:15,369 --> 01:30:17,872 Embrace him? No, that's not possible. 1291 01:30:18,039 --> 01:30:19,540 I'd rather die! 1292 01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:23,085 Come on, embracing a pudgy fellow won't kill you. 1293 01:30:25,129 --> 01:30:26,380 A pudgy one? 1294 01:30:39,518 --> 01:30:41,520 He does seem rather nice. 1295 01:30:41,687 --> 01:30:43,522 I said so before! 1296 01:30:44,482 --> 01:30:48,402 I must look like I was hit by a sphinx! 1297 01:30:48,569 --> 01:30:49,820 A mess, eh? 1298 01:30:50,029 --> 01:30:51,906 Look at my crown... 1299 01:30:52,073 --> 01:30:54,450 I get so upset with myself. 1300 01:30:57,119 --> 01:30:59,455 Come on up! 1301 01:31:21,352 --> 01:31:26,148 Congratulations, valiant young Pharaoh! 1302 01:31:26,315 --> 01:31:29,819 And I love your outfit too. 1303 01:31:30,236 --> 01:31:31,821 Very attractive! 1304 01:31:32,655 --> 01:31:34,657 Here's the trophy 1305 01:31:34,824 --> 01:31:39,036 that will always remind the world of your great victory. 1306 01:31:39,203 --> 01:31:40,705 Thank you. 1307 01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:51,924 No, that's enough... 1308 01:32:01,100 --> 01:32:02,184 Friends... 1309 01:32:02,977 --> 01:32:04,228 My friends! 1310 01:32:05,896 --> 01:32:07,273 Long live Ben-Hur Marcel! 1311 01:32:07,940 --> 01:32:10,735 My message to you is but 1 word. 1312 01:32:11,652 --> 01:32:14,113 Reconciliation! 1313 01:32:19,326 --> 01:32:22,747 You all think Caesar is shit. 1314 01:32:25,166 --> 01:32:26,167 Ya think 1315 01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:29,128 the Consul and his men are shit. 1316 01:32:30,671 --> 01:32:33,924 Emirs, cops and the army are shit. 1317 01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:37,386 They think you're shit! 1318 01:32:39,472 --> 01:32:41,724 And both sides are right! 1319 01:32:41,891 --> 01:32:44,852 Cuz ya let 'em take ya for shit! 1320 01:32:51,901 --> 01:32:54,195 Since we're all shit, why fight? 1321 01:33:36,070 --> 01:33:38,489 - Stop drinking, dear. - But, mommy... 1322 01:33:38,656 --> 01:33:40,533 And don't mommy me! 1323 01:33:45,496 --> 01:33:48,374 Being a mechanic wasn't my calling. 1324 01:33:48,541 --> 01:33:50,334 I just followed my dad. 1325 01:33:50,501 --> 01:33:53,212 Being Pharaoh suits me fine! 1326 01:33:53,754 --> 01:33:57,174 Rubies are nice but can't go with everything. 1327 01:33:57,591 --> 01:34:02,805 8 days in Mesopotamia, I didn't bathe even once! 1328 01:34:06,642 --> 01:34:08,811 A little Iamb? 1329 01:34:11,397 --> 01:34:13,190 Dancing girls? 1330 01:34:18,571 --> 01:34:19,571 Coffee? 1331 01:34:19,697 --> 01:34:21,657 - Now that... - A drop of coffee, yes. 1332 01:34:32,668 --> 01:34:35,629 You must tell me who does your gowns... 1333 01:34:40,676 --> 01:34:45,014 Bethlehem is jammed with tourists 1334 01:34:45,181 --> 01:34:48,601 and it's impossible to find an inn room. 1335 01:34:48,767 --> 01:34:51,687 A carpenter and his pregnant wife 1336 01:34:52,021 --> 01:34:55,774 were forced to sleep in a stable 1337 01:34:55,941 --> 01:35:00,821 where the woman gave birth to a son. 1338 01:35:01,030 --> 01:35:02,907 Such crap on TV! 1339 01:35:03,073 --> 01:35:05,367 A kid in a stable! Big deal! 1340 01:35:06,785 --> 01:35:09,246 Look! Isn't he sweet? 1341 01:35:09,413 --> 01:35:11,248 Wait till he grows up! 1342 01:35:11,415 --> 01:35:13,250 At least it's a boy! 1343 01:35:13,417 --> 01:35:15,377 Can't they show sports? 1344 01:35:15,544 --> 01:35:17,963 A kid born in a stable in Bethlehem! 1345 01:35:18,130 --> 01:35:20,174 That's gonna change the world? 1346 01:35:21,926 --> 01:35:22,927 What did I say? 1347 01:35:23,552 --> 01:35:26,972 How'II a kid born in a stable change things? 1348 01:35:36,023 --> 01:35:39,276 The divine child is born! 1349 01:35:39,443 --> 01:35:43,030 Play your cassettus and transistory! 1350 01:35:43,197 --> 01:35:46,283 The divine child is born! 1351 01:35:46,450 --> 01:35:49,578 Let's videotape some History! 84837

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