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1
00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:02,422
AH-HYUCK.
2
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,629
♪ H-H-H-HIT IT ♪
3
00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:06,799
♪ LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪
4
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,178
♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE ♪
YES!
5
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:12,095
♪ BEST BUDDIES, BEST PALS ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
6
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,095
♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM
TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪
7
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,387
♪ CAN'T YOU SEE
YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪
8
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,811
♪ LOOKIN' FOR
A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪
9
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,440
WHAA-OOO-HO-HO!
10
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,107
♪ A REAL GOOD TIME ♪
11
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,105
♪ REPORT
TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
12
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,777
♪ AND WE'LL ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
13
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,775
♪ ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
14
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,397
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
15
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,664
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS
FOREVER ♪
16
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,236
♪ SIDE BY SIDE
WHEREVER WE GO ♪
17
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:39,623
♪ WE'RE ALWAYS READY TO ROLL ♪
18
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,252
♪ NOW GIMME A BEAT ♪
19
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,579
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
20
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,594
♪ AND WE ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
21
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,587
GAWRSH.
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
22
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,469
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS
FOREVER ♪
23
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,848
♪ NOW WE'RE CALLING
EVERYONE ♪
24
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,675
♪ COME ALONG
AND JOIN THE FUN ♪
25
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,430
♪ REPORT TO
THE GOOF TROOP ♪
26
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,772
♪ LA DO BE DA BOP
LA BA DO BOP ♪
27
00:00:58,767 --> 00:00:59,847
YEAH!
28
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,153
PJ: AXED BY ADDITION!
SLAIN BY SUBTRACTION!
29
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,608
(SIGHS)
30
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,988
EVERY TIME I SEE A NUMBER,
I FREAK OUT!
31
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:12,195
I'M GOING TO FLUNK
MY MATH FINAL FOR SURE!
32
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,657
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
33
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,580
SO, HOW'S DADDY'S LITTLE
EINSTEIN?
34
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,788
(STAMMERING) UH...
35
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,078
FINE, DAD!
RELATIVELY SPEAKING.
36
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,752
HA-HA! IT'S A JOKE.
37
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,250
JUST TRYING TO GET THIS
MATH THING THROUGH MY HEAD.
38
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:29,262
WHY, YOUR HEAD CAN DO
ANYTHING YOU PUT IT TO.
39
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,415
YOU GOT MY BRAINS IN IT!
40
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,184
WHAT SAY DADDY
GIVES YOU A LITTLE POP QUIZ?
41
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,637
WHOA!
42
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,678
NOW, WHAT'S FIVE TIMES 12
TO THE TENTH POWER
43
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,482
DIVIDED BY EIGHT MINUS
THE SQUARE ROOT OF SIX?
44
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,805
- WELL, UM...
- AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,
45
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,480
HOW MANY FEATHERS
DOES A MONGOOSE HAVE?
46
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,148
AND WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER?
47
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,556
AND HOW MUCH WOOD
WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK,
48
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:47,654
IF A WOODCHUCK
COULD CHUCK WOOD?
49
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,689
I CAN'T EVEN SAY THAT!
50
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,073
HA! YOU THINK THAT'S HARD?
51
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,910
YOU KIDS HAVE IT EASY.
52
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:58,325
WHY, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE
I FOUGHT FOR AN EDUCATION!
53
00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,826
HAD TO TRUDGE 20 MILES
THROUGH THE SNOW
54
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,539
AND DEFROST MY PENCIL
TO TAKE A TEST!
55
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,829
WOULD'VE GOT MY PH. AND MY D,
56
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:09,343
IF I HADN'T EXCEEDED THE STATUTE
OF LIMITATIONS ON HIGH SCHOOL.
57
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,297
BUT NOW I'VE GOT A SON
58
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,927
TO PICK UP WHERE I
DROPPED A GRADE POINT.
59
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,716
AHH, YEAH, UM...
60
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:21,220
BUT WHAT IF--
THIS IS JUST IF--I FLUNK?
61
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,354
FLUNK?
62
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,560
AND MAKE MY BRAINS LOOK BAD?
63
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,612
IT'S A SIMPLE EQUATION!
64
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,935
YOU'RE GONNA PASS THAT TEST
65
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,900
IF YOU HAVE TO STUDY
ALL NIGHT, SEE?
66
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:34,950
FLUNK AND YOU'RE GROUNDED
FOREVER!
67
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,945
(DOOR SLAMS)
68
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,413
(WHIMPERING)
69
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,793
MAX! MAX, YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME!
70
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,211
MAX!
71
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,672
NUMBERS FREAK YOU OUT,
HUH, BUD?
72
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,144
WELL,
YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST GUY
73
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,465
I SAVED FROM
AN INVERTED FRACTION.
74
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:03,561
NOW, I COULD HELP YOU
CHEAT ON THE TEST...
75
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:08,058
OR I COULD MAKE YOU
A MATH GENIUS FOR LIFE!
76
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,573
BRAINS OVER CON.
77
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,988
BRAINS IT IS.
78
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,316
WE'LL START
WITH THE EASY STUFF.
79
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,992
WHAT'S 2 PLUS 2?
80
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,830
OKAY, I KNOW THAT ONE.
UH, 2 PLUS 2...
81
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,735
UM, 2 PLUS 2 IS, UM, 4,
82
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,124
AND 4'S 8,
AND CARRY THE 2--
UH, JUST A MINUTE.
83
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,541
16 AND 2'S 18!
84
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,419
NO, NO, DIVIDE
BY 4, IS UM...
85
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,996
(SIGHS)
86
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,291
NO WAIT, WAIT!
DON'T TELL ME, MAN.
87
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,054
IT'S ON THE TIP
OF MY TOENAIL!
88
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,206
UM, LET'S SEE...
89
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,724
5 TIMES 448 MILLION,
AH, IT'S...
90
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,466
UM, UM...
91
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,968
I THINK THIS IS GOING
TO TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES.
92
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,600
OH, DRASTIC IS GOOD!
I LOVE DRASTIC.
93
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,847
I'LL DO ANYTHING TO PASS
THIS TEST! ANYTHING!
94
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,810
UH, CAN I RETHINK THAT?
95
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,982
HEY, TRUST ME,
PEEJANO, MY MAN.
96
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,441
WHEN I'M THROUGH,
97
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:56,031
YOU'LL MAKE EINSTEIN
LOOK LIKE HOWDY DOODY.
98
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,987
ANSWER RIGHT AND YOU GET THIS!
99
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,871
A FUDGY WUDGY BAR.
MMM, YOUR FAVE!
100
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,909
BUT ANSWER WRONG,
AND THE YOKE'S ON YOU!
101
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,123
(BUZZER BLARING)
102
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,214
- ARE YOU READY?
- UH-UH!
103
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,499
WHAT'S THE SQUARE ROOT OF 9!
104
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,802
UH, ROOTS AREN'T SQUARE, MAN.
105
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,585
THEY'RE LONG AND STRINGY AND--
3!
106
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,298
FARMER NEEDS 400 POUNDS
OF NAILS TO BUILD A BARN.
107
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,628
HOW MANY APPLES WILL IT HOLD?
108
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,973
WHAT DO APPLES HAVE TO DO
WITH--
109
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,178
- (BUZZER BLARING)
- HIS WHOLE CROP!
110
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,507
WHAT'S THE LOGARITHM OF 12?
111
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,852
THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF A CIRCLE?
112
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:24,967
HOW MANY CHICKENS DOES IT TAKE
113
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,473
TO CROSS THE ROAD?
114
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,394
WHAT KIND OF ANGLES
DOES A SQUARE ROOT HAVE?
115
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,023
RIGHT. JUST GIVE ME
A MINUTE. I, I--
116
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,520
RIGHT ANGLES IS CORRECT!
117
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,573
WHAT'S 2 PLUS 2?
118
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,526
UH, 4?
119
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,145
- 4 PLUS 4?
- 8.
120
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,702
- 8 PLUS 8?
- 14.
121
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,655
- (BUZZER BLARING)
- 16!
122
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,655
MAX, NO MORE!
I'M GOING TO BE SICK!
123
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,158
YOU'RE GOING TO BE BRILLIANT!
124
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,660
BUT ANSWER WRONG
AND THE YOKE'S ON YOU!
125
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,041
(ECHOING) THE YOKE'S ON YOU!
126
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,158
THE YOKE'S ON YOU,
127
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,044
THE YOKE'S ON YOU...
128
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,668
COME ON, PJ! THE BUS IS HERE!
129
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,262
Pete: TOAST, SON?
130
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,010
TWO SLICES OR THREE?
131
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,102
2 PLUS 3 IS 5!
MINUS 2 IS 3!
MINUS 2 IS 1!
132
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,848
OKAY, SO YOU CAN ADD!
133
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,520
WANT AN EGG?
134
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,728
(SCREAMS)
135
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,558
OKAY, NO EGGS!
136
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:18,744
SAY, DON'T TELL ME YOU WANT
A CANDY BAR FOR BREAKFAST?
137
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,895
(SCREAMS)
138
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,525
DOWN, PJ, DOWN!
139
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,203
(BABBLING)
140
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,913
AND TOAST AND JELLY AND
ON THE SIDE A PIECE OF...
141
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,878
SAY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
142
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,471
HE MEMORIZED THE MATH
BOOK 47 TIMES.
143
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,547
I THINK HE'S GOT
NUMBERS ON THE BRAIN.
144
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,892
HUH?
145
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:49,057
OH, PLAYING SICK, EH?
146
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,307
TRYIN' TO GET
OUT OF THAT TEST, EH?
147
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,769
WELL, YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, SEE?
148
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,109
I WAS A FOOL WAY
BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!
149
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,395
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE GOT
BLISTERS ON THE BRAIN
150
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,649
OR WATER ON THE KNEE!
151
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,280
YOU'RE NOT MISSING
THAT TEST!
152
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,737
NOW GO OUT THERE
AND UPHOLD THE FAMILY IQ!
153
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,792
(CHATTER)
154
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,286
OKAY, PEEJ, NOW CRANK UP
THOSE BRAIN CELLS!
155
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,829
YOU'RE GOING TO ACE
THIS BABY, I KNOW IT.
156
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,594
2 PLUS 2 IS 4,
TIMES 8 IS 32,
157
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:22,796
TIMES 4 IS 38,
MINUS 2 IS 36,
PLUS 5 IS 30...
158
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,219
Max: CIRCUMFERENCE
OF A CIRCLE!
159
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,138
LOGARITHM OF 12!
160
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,927
40 AND 6 TO THE 23rd POWER!
161
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,851
ANSWER WRONG AND
THE YOKE'S ON YOU,
162
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,440
YOU, THE YOKE'S ON YOU!
163
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:40,936
(BELL RINGS)
164
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,652
SO, EINSTEIN JR.,
165
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,032
HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO ACE A TEST?
166
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,870
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S ALL A BLANK.
167
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,946
BUT YOU MEMORIZED THE BOOK!
168
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,661
YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOTTEN 'EM
MOSTLY RIGHT, RIGHT?
169
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,623
HALF RIGHT?
170
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,963
PJ, A QUARTER RIGHT?
171
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,629
ALL I REMEMBER IS
FLYING EGGS AND STUFF!
172
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,968
MAX! WHAT IF I FLUNKED?
173
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,625
FLUNKED? OH, NO!
174
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,343
WHEN YOUR DAD FINDS OUT,
YOU'RE GONNA BE...
175
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,474
GROUNDED FOR LIFE!
176
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,521
OH, MAN, DAD WILL GET
MY REPORT CARD
177
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,805
TOMORROW IN THE 3:30 MAIL!
178
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:19,019
ONLY 23 HOURS
AND 14 MINUTES LEFT TO GO!
179
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:24,152
IT'S LIKE, AWFUL KNOWING
WHEN YOUR LIFE'S GONNA END.
180
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,992
AW, PEEJ.
181
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,528
WAIT A MINUTE.
IT'S NOT OVER YET!
182
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,162
YOU GOT 23 HOURS
AND 14 MINUTES
183
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,910
TO DO EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED
TO DO IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE!
184
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,964
EVEN THE STUFF
I'D GET KILLED FOR?
185
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,378
WHAT'VE YOU GOT TO LOSE?
PJ, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT ANYWAY.
186
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,296
OKAY, I WANNA EAT
200 GORILLA BURGERS.
187
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,563
- CHECK.
- WATCH ALL 12 MUTILATOR MOVIES.
188
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,015
- GOT IT.
- OH,
189
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,385
RIDE DOWN HAIRPIN HILL
IN A SHOPPING CART.
190
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,692
A MUST.
191
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,345
GOTTA KISS CYNTHIA SNODFREW.
192
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,943
YEAH! OLD PERSIMMON LIPS!
193
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:04,188
OH! AND GO ON THE THREE
WORST RIDES AT TERRORLAND!
194
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,702
WHOA! WELL,
IT IS YOUR FUNERAL.
195
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,066
OKAY LET'S MOVE IT.
196
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,572
YOUR REPORT CARD
COMES AT 3:30.
197
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,703
OH, MAN, WHAT ARE WE
TALKING ABOUT?
198
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,412
WE GOT TO GO TO SCHOOL!
199
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,912
NOT IF WE'RE SICK WE DON'T!
200
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,384
SICK? COME ON, MY DAD
DOESN'T LET ME STAY HOME
201
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,916
UNLESS I'M A WALKING CORPSE!
202
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,709
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.
203
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,887
SO, UH, WHAT LOOKS
GOOD TODAY?
204
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:35,385
OUTER MONGOLIAN WORRY WARTS
OR PERUVIAN PUS FACE?
205
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,560
AH, WE'LL MIX 'EM
AND MATCH 'EM.
206
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,059
THE GROSSER THE BETTER.
207
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,898
- WELL, I DON'T--
- (SPLATTER)
208
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,396
YUCK!
209
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,728
EVEN IF YOUR DAD DOES
SEND YOU TO SCHOOL,
210
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,574
NO WAY THEY'D LET YOU IN.
211
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,990
I ALWAYS KNEW BROCCOLI
WAS GOOD FOR SOMETHING.
212
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,327
MAN, YOU OUGHTA BE
HANGING IN A GALLERY.
213
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,038
YOU'RE A WORK OF ART!
(SMACKING LIPS)
214
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,460
- (ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
- Pete: (GROANING) PJ?
215
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,629
(YAWNING)
RISE AND SHINE!
216
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,167
IT'S SHOW TIME!
217
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,469
Pete: COME ON, UP AND AT 'EM!
218
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,429
DAD, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
219
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,481
CAN I STAY HOME?
220
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,478
(SCREAMING)
221
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,650
(STAMMERING)
222
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,530
YOU'RE DISINTEGRATING!
223
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,445
QUICK! EMERGENCY!
224
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,447
GET HIM...
(SHOUTING GIBBERISH)
225
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,369
DAD, IT'S REALLY
NOT THAT BAD.
226
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,788
GIMME A SIREN!
I MEAN, AN AMBULANCE!
227
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,827
MY KID'S SICK WITH THE CRUD!
228
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,125
- (SIREN BLARING)
- HUH?
229
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,795
OKAY, PJ! THE COAST IS CLEAR!
230
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:54,802
HUH?
231
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:04,688
CAREFUL! EASY!
HE MIGHT FALL APART ANY MINUTE!
232
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,358
OH, NO!
233
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,186
HELP!
234
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,861
AW, DON'T WORRY, SON.
235
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,740
DADDY WILL GET YOU
SPACKLED BACK TOGETHER!
236
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,584
(GROANING)
237
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,785
COME ON! OUTER MONGOLIAN
WORRY WARTS
238
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,541
AND PERUVIAN PUS FACE!
239
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,133
AND THIS KID'S GOT 'EM BOTH!
240
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,129
CALLING DR. CHASM.
REPORT TO SURGERY PLEASE.
241
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,432
DR. CHASM, REPORT TO SURGERY.
242
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,734
(SOBBING)
243
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,845
THE POOR LITTLE KID!
244
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,562
IT'S ALL MY FAULT!
245
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,733
I MADE HIM STAY UP ALL NIGHT
STUDYING.
246
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,033
(SNIFFLING)
247
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,357
USED TO YELL AT HIM
248
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:59,033
FOR SQUEEZING HIS TOOTHYPASTE
FROM THE WRONG END.
249
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,374
MADE HIM JOIN
GUM POPPERS ANONYMOUS
250
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,790
AND KISS HIS LITTLE
SISTER IN PUBLIC.
251
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,496
AND BRUSH THE DOG'S TEETH
252
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,841
AND USE A MANLY DEODORANT
253
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,837
AND WASH HIS SHOES
BEFORE HE CAME IN THE HOUSE!
254
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,890
I EVEN MADE HIM
USE A HANDKERCHIEF!
255
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,005
(SOBBING)
256
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,932
DELIVERY FOR ROOM 202.
SIGN HERE, PLEASE.
257
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,061
HMM, SECOND ONE TODAY.
258
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,272
OKAY, WELL, WE'LL NEED
A FULL BLOOD PANEL,
259
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,983
A BELLY BUTTON SCAN,
AND A COMPLETE
NOSE HAIR ANALYSIS.
260
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,824
WAIT! UH, I'M AWFULLY WEAK.
261
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,149
CAN I COME BACK
NEXT YEAR, PLEASE?
262
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,784
DON'T WORRY.
NOTHING TO IT.
263
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,411
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
264
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,327
NO! WAIT! OKAY, OKAY,
I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING!
265
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,996
BUT ONLY IF YOU PROMISE
NOT TO TELL MY DAD!
266
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,955
Max: (OVER P.A.)
CALLING DR. HOWARD,
267
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,035
DR. FINE, DR. HOWARD,
268
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,251
REPORT TO SURGERY, PLEASE.
269
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,335
NO! NO! DON'T OPERATE!
OKAY! OKAY! I GIVE! I GIVE!
270
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,261
I'M NOT REALLY SICK!
271
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,810
OH, YES, YOU ARE!
272
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:07,806
GANGWAY! GOT AN EMERGENCY HERE!
CODE PURPLE! HEADS UP!
273
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:08,941
- CLEAR THE ROAD!
- (PEOPLE SHOUTING)
274
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:09,977
WHOA!
275
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,647
AND THEN ONE TIME,
276
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,031
I MADE HIM PLUCK THE DOG
HAIRS OUT OF THE CARPET
277
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,488
WITH TWEEZERS
278
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,118
AND SENT HIM
TO OBEDIENCE SCHOOL
279
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,985
WHEN HE WOULDN'T
CLEAN UP HIS ROOM.
280
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,451
(SOBBING)
281
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,962
I JUST WANT HIM
TO FORGIVE ME,
282
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:30,575
AND IF THAT AIN'T THE TRUTH,
MAY I GET STRUCK BY A--
283
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,383
WHAT THE...
284
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:40,681
SO HE TRIED TO PULL THE
BROCCOLI OVER OUR EYES!
285
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,347
MR. PETE? YOUR SON IS GONE.
286
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,176
(SCREAMING)
287
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,141
HE MELTED AWAY!
288
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,863
GONE TO THAT GREAT BIG
PLAYGROUND IN THE SKY!
289
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:55,025
NO, HE TOOK OFF! SPLIT!
VAMOOSED!
290
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,815
BUT HE LEFT THIS!
291
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,236
HUH?
292
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,987
"STUFF I WANNA DO
ON MY LAST DAY."
293
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,910
(WAILING) WHAT A KID!
294
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,409
(BLUBBERING)
295
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,001
GOING OUT WITH A BANG,
296
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,826
JUST LIKE I WOULD'VE DONE!
297
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,922
I GOTTA GET HIM TO FORGIVE ME
298
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:17,837
WHILE THERE'S STILL
SOMETHING LEFT!
299
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,629
NO! NO! NO!
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
300
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,846
C'MON, PEEJ! ONLY THREE
HOURS 41 MINUTES LEFT!
301
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,677
WHA... WHO... HUH...
302
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,692
PJ!
303
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,725
HOLD TOGETHER, SON!
PAPA'S COMIN'!
304
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,398
THREE HOURS,
30 MINUTES TO GO!
305
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,453
WE'VE GOTTA MOVE
AT WARP SPEED, DUDE!
306
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:54,042
OH, NO! I LOST MY LIST!
307
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,292
NO PROBLEMA.
I KNOW IT BY HEART!
308
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,764
FIRST UP, 200 GORILLA BURGERS!
309
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,836
Man: YOU WANNA BE COOL
WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL?
310
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,642
HUNKY MONKEY FANS,
CHEW ON THIS!
311
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,887
THE GORILLA BURGER!
TWO POUNDS
312
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,809
OF TONGUE-TANTALIZING
MYSTERY MEAT!
313
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:14,439
EAT QUICK, PAL! STILL GOTTA
SEE ALL 12 MUTILATOR MOVIES!
314
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,807
(GOBBLING)
315
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,274
Pete: TWO HUNDRED BURGERS?
316
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,284
MUST'VE BEEN ALL THOSE TIMES
317
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,566
I SENT HIM TO BED
WITHOUT SECONDS!
318
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:29,334
PJ, I'M SORRY!
319
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,536
PJ!
320
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,420
HOLD IT, BUB!
321
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,804
I'M GIVING YOU A TICKET
FOR JAY-DRIVING!
322
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,471
NO, PLEASE, MY KID...
323
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,469
I'LL NEED
YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE
324
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,271
AND A SOCIAL SECURITY
NUMBER
325
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,265
AND A MAJOR CREDIT CARD,
326
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,137
AND A BIRTH CERTIFICATE,
327
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,484
ENLISTMENT PAPERS,
IF YOU SERVED,
328
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,819
ENLISTMENT PAPERS
IF YOU GOT DISCHARGED...
329
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,530
NOW WATCH 'EM QUICK, PEEJ,
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
330
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,621
(CHAINSAW REVVING)
331
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,985
TOTAL SENSORY OVERLOAD!
WHAT A BLAST, HUH?
332
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:12,374
(MUFFLED GROANS)
333
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:15,540
UH-OH, THAT'S ALL THE GORE WE
GOT TIME FOR.
334
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:19,670
ALL 12 MUTILATOR MOVIES?
335
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,049
(SOBBING)
AND I ALWAYS CALLED HIM YELLOW!
336
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,298
(SOBBING) FORGIVE ME!
337
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,891
AW, TELL IT TO THE JUDGE!
338
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,011
SON, SON!
339
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,149
UH, MAX? MAYBE WE OUGHTA
TRY SOMETHING TAMER.
340
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,855
LIKE, SKY-DIVING
OFF THE TRUMP TOWER!
341
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,700
WHEN MY BEST BUDDY'S
LOOKIN' AT LIFE
IN PRISON WITH NO PAROLE,
342
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,735
I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM MISS HIS
LAST CHANCE TO BREAK HIS NECK!
343
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:53,040
PJ, WAIT FOR DADDY!
344
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,116
(SCREAMING)
345
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,371
(SCREAMS)
346
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,924
MAX, YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
347
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:03,208
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I'D SWEAR THAT SOUNDED LIKE DAD!
348
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,263
NAH!
349
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,466
(GASPING)
350
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:12,930
KID'S TAKING THAT HILL
LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!
351
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:16,101
OH, SON! DON'T CUT
YOUR LIFE ANY SHORTER
352
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,351
THAN IT ALREADY IS!
353
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,232
(GASPING)
354
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,574
PJ!
355
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,452
(SIREN WAILING)
356
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,949
YOU AGAIN?
357
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:37,374
(BELL RINGING)
358
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,634
(SCREAMING)
359
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,003
MY BABY!
360
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,379
MY BABY!
361
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,386
SOME FUN, EH, PJ?
362
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,308
CHECK IT OUT!
363
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,266
CYNTHIA SNODFREW!
364
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,727
WASN'T KISSING HER
ON YOUR LIST?
365
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,768
(SMACK)
366
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,770
EW!
367
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,606
(COUGHING)
368
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,568
OH, THE POOR KID!
369
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,783
STARVED FOR AFFECTION!
370
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:17,163
I NEVER SHOULDA STOPPED
KISSING HIM GOOD NIGHT!
371
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,785
(TIRES SCREECHING)
372
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,709
(SCREAMING)
373
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,588
"HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR KID
TODAY?"
374
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,338
PJ!
375
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:36,434
Man: WELCOME TO TERRORLAND,
THE SCARIEST RIDES ON EARTH!
376
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,351
GUARANTEED TO RATTLE YOUR CAGE
377
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,020
AND SPILL YOUR GUTS
OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
378
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,818
THAT'S MY BOY!
379
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,146
DOESN'T WANNA GO
SLOW AND PAINFUL,
380
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,452
WANTS TO GO FAST AND PAINFUL!
381
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,817
FIFTEEN MINUTES TILL YOUR DAD
GETS YOUR REPORT CARD!
382
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,664
WE'VE STILL GOT THREE THRILL
RIDES AND 10 BURGERS TO GO!
383
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,160
Pete: SON! SON!
384
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,373
IT'S DAD!
385
00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:02,713
DON'T WORRY, I'LL STALL HIM!
386
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,137
LET GO, I'VE GOT
TO TALK TO MY KID!
387
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:17,505
NO, NO! YOU SEE,
HE'S CONTAGIOUS TILL 3:30!
388
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,394
OH, ME? WELL,
I GOT ANTIBODIES.
389
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:23,351
YOU, YOU GOT A FAMILY!
YOU CAN'T TAKE THE RISK!
390
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,863
WHAT ARE YOU...
(STAMMERING) CONTAGIOUS?
391
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,856
WELL, I GUESS
I CAN WAIT 14 MINUTES.
392
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,529
MEANWHILE, SHOW HIM
A BANG-UP TIME ON HIS OLD MAN!
393
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,070
(SCREAMING)
394
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,425
NINE MINUTES AND COUNTING!
395
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,347
Max: MAN, ARE YOU BRAVE!
396
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,516
IT'S THE BARREL OF FUN!
397
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,765
(MUMBLING)
398
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,016
(SCREAMING)
399
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,899
(MECHANICAL RATTLING)
400
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,533
TWO MINUTES TO GO!
401
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,454
SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST,
402
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:23,373
THE HAMMER SLAMMER!
403
00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:30,841
PEEJ, BEFORE YOU'RE
GROUNDED FOREVER,
404
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,837
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW...
405
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,799
YOU'RE THE BEST BUD
I EVER HAD!
406
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:38,139
I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING
THE CHERRY ON MY SUNDAE.
407
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,636
THE FOAM ON MY ROOT BEER.
408
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,967
THE CRUD UNDER MY FINGERNAILS.
409
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,563
GO AHEAD, MAX.
(HICCUPPING)
410
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:45,729
DO IT.
411
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,441
(SOBBING) WHAT A GUY.
412
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,232
(CLANGING)
413
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,828
I CAN'T LET HIM GET
POUNDED TO A PULP
414
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,655
BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE
TO FORGIVE ME!
415
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,001
I GOTTA CHOOSE,
416
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:08,786
KILLER GERMS
OR LIFELONG GUILT!
417
00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:12,172
JUMP, SON!
DADDY WILL SAVE YOU!
418
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,139
ONE MINUTE 12 SECONDS!
GO! GO! GO!
419
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,600
YES! WE DID IT!
420
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,864
ERR... SON!
421
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,189
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
422
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,994
ALL THOSE NASTY HORRIBLE
THINGS I DID TO YOU
423
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,817
WERE DONE WITH ONLY
THE BEST INTENTIONS,
424
00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:43,833
SO IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY FIND IT
IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE...
425
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,037
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
426
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,246
HANG ON, I'LL GET IT.
427
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,417
HELLO? DR. HOWARD?
428
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:52,456
I CAN'T TALK NOW,
MY KID ONLY HAS MINUTES TO LIVE!
429
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,210
NO, HE DOESN'T.
430
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,722
HE'S GOT A COMMON AILMENT
AMONG SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN
431
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,795
WITH TEST PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.
432
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,260
IT'S CALLED FAKING.
433
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,601
FAKING? WELL,
THAT WILL BE FINE.
434
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,136
FAKING?
435
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:11,056
DAD, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
436
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,362
WHY'D YOU CUT SCHOOL
OVER A STUPID TEST?
437
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:16,646
WELL, 'CAUSE YOU SAID
IF I...FLUNKED,
438
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,361
I'D BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!
439
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,411
WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
440
00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:21,985
THINKING I'D REALLY
GROUND YOU FOR LIFE?
441
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,830
I'D NEVER GROUND YOU FOR LIFE!
442
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,195
HOW MANY TIMES
I GOTTA TELL YOU?
443
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,251
DO AS I THINK,
NOT MEAN WHAT I SAY!
444
00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,286
JUST FOR THAT,
YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!
445
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,999
MILKSHAKE, I'M HOME!
446
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:38,423
AND PJ'S REPORT CARD
CAME IN THE MAIL.
447
00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:42,803
NOW SEE THERE, SUGAR CONE?
HE GOT AN "A" IN MATH!
448
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,682
AN "A"?
449
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:53,610
YAHOO! MY KID WITH
MY BRAINS GOT MY "A"!
450
00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:57,725
SON, WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE!
451
00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,784
I'M TREATIN' YOU
TO EVERYTHING YOU LIKE!
452
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:02,408
TERRORLAND, MUTILATOR
MOVIES, THE WORKS!
453
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,615
I'M BUYIN' YOU 200
GORILLA BURGERS!
454
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,906
NO, NO, NO,
300 GORILLA BURGERS!
455
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:09,410
AND THEN, WHEN YOU ACE YOUR
SCIENCE TEST NEXT WEEK,
456
00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,962
I'LL BUY YOU 600!
457
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,826
(LAUGHS)
458
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,713
AIN'T LIFE GRAND?
31486
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