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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,187 --> 00:00:06,422 *THE SIMPSONS* 2 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,968 *THE SIMPSONS* Season 32 Episode 11 3 00:00:11,099 --> 00:00:13,109 Episode Title: "The Dad-Feelings Limited" Aired on: January 03, 2021 4 00:00:13,493 --> 00:00:15,667 Mm. 5 00:00:17,986 --> 00:00:20,042 Yes, another glorious Sunday. 6 00:00:20,127 --> 00:00:21,956 Oh. Scone for my muffin? 7 00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:23,128 Nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum. 8 00:00:23,212 --> 00:00:26,248 And for you, five breakfast burritos. 9 00:00:27,353 --> 00:00:29,322 Ah, the Voltron. 10 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:31,964 Our lives are in perfect balance. 11 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:36,089 Oh, it is just last-second birthday gift shoppers. 12 00:00:36,174 --> 00:00:37,735 Ignore them. 13 00:00:39,416 --> 00:00:41,188 I know you're in there, you lazy dork. 14 00:00:41,272 --> 00:00:42,795 I can smell the burritos! 15 00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:45,192 Four. No! Five! 16 00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,487 They can't be closed. We're booked solid 17 00:00:47,572 --> 00:00:50,159 with birthday parties today, and we have no presents. 18 00:00:50,244 --> 00:00:51,832 Don't worry, I got this. 19 00:00:52,642 --> 00:00:54,136 Auto Trader for the girls. 20 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,104 Adult Escort Express for the boys. 21 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,404 Kids are adults, right? 22 00:00:57,488 --> 00:01:00,049 Fine, fine, whatever. Let's just go. 23 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,331 Let us wander as aimlessly as the plots 24 00:01:05,416 --> 00:01:08,136 of the four upcoming Avatar sequels... 25 00:01:08,221 --> 00:01:09,283 I can only assume. 26 00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:12,628 I love your contempt for things that don't matter. 27 00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:23,283 Do you hear that? 28 00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,158 Ah, silence. 29 00:01:31,353 --> 00:01:32,908 Come on, let's go. 30 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,643 Time to go to Milhouse's puppy party. 31 00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,978 If we go late, you'll get a crappy dog. 32 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,642 That's it, I'm coming in. 33 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,619 Ow! No! Ow! No! That's where I had my surgery! 34 00:01:53,963 --> 00:01:58,154 Mm! Miyazaki marathon with chilled lobster spring rolls. 35 00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,588 Mm, mm. 36 00:02:07,064 --> 00:02:08,253 Oh, crap! 37 00:02:08,338 --> 00:02:11,338 I just realized I haven't eaten anything all day. 38 00:02:11,455 --> 00:02:13,464 They're out of pizza, but I built you a slice 39 00:02:13,549 --> 00:02:14,882 out of trash scraps. 40 00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:17,416 Well, hide me behind your coat while I eat it. 41 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:23,596 I need to be around grown-ups. 42 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,173 Excuse me. 43 00:02:25,258 --> 00:02:27,041 You just passed my street. 44 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,706 Who the hell are you? 45 00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:31,636 Leland Huebner III. 46 00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:33,909 Go back and get Bart. 47 00:02:34,064 --> 00:02:35,986 Hold on, this one seems all right. 48 00:02:36,392 --> 00:02:38,455 A little stuck up, but all right. 49 00:02:39,947 --> 00:02:42,230 Thanks so much for the last-minute dinner invitation. 50 00:02:42,315 --> 00:02:44,346 There never was any dinner. You fell for a scam. 51 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,135 You're babysitting. No money. 52 00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:49,370 Adults! 53 00:02:49,455 --> 00:02:51,580 Pull over! 54 00:02:54,853 --> 00:02:58,878 Wow, Moe, you really gussy up the place for trivia night. 55 00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:00,433 Hey, where are the regulars? 56 00:03:00,518 --> 00:03:02,080 Ah, keg storage. 57 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,447 Hey! We're thirsty! 58 00:03:07,346 --> 00:03:08,494 Thank you. 59 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,862 I've always wanted to do a trivia. 60 00:03:10,947 --> 00:03:12,767 Who knows what I might know? 61 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,086 Please, join our team. 62 00:03:19,213 --> 00:03:20,971 But they're noobs. 63 00:03:21,056 --> 00:03:22,721 Even the humble noob 64 00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:25,245 has a place in the seasons of trivia. 65 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,510 Ooh. Once again I am in awe of your decency. 66 00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:30,197 All right, all right, weirdos. 67 00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:32,378 I want to welcome you dorks to trivia night. 68 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,924 Now, shut your nerd faces for the first question. 69 00:03:35,025 --> 00:03:37,438 "List the four players with the most fighting penalties 70 00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,455 in NHL history." 71 00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:40,744 Oh, sports. 72 00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:43,103 The very lowest genus of trivium. 73 00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:45,198 Let's see. Tie Domi, Dave "Tiger" Williams, 74 00:03:45,322 --> 00:03:46,816 Dave "The Hammer" Schultz, and, of course, 75 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,134 Stu "The Grim Reaper" Grimson. Duh. 76 00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:54,088 All right, next category: 20th Century Vacuum Cleaners. 77 00:03:54,189 --> 00:03:55,861 Just give me the pencil. 78 00:03:55,946 --> 00:03:58,510 "The mascot for this Boston-based..." 79 00:03:58,595 --> 00:04:00,705 Cuppy, the Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup. 80 00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:03,096 "This English prog rock supergroup 81 00:04:03,181 --> 00:04:06,447 scored a hit with 1970's "Lucky Man." 82 00:04:06,532 --> 00:04:07,886 Emerson! 83 00:04:07,971 --> 00:04:08,679 Lake! 84 00:04:08,787 --> 00:04:09,611 And! 85 00:04:09,696 --> 00:04:10,696 Palmer! 86 00:04:11,978 --> 00:04:13,007 Okay, okay. 87 00:04:13,091 --> 00:04:14,853 And the winning team is... 88 00:04:14,938 --> 00:04:17,550 "Han Shot First." What does that mean? 89 00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:20,018 - Is that dirty? - It's from Star Wars. 90 00:04:20,103 --> 00:04:22,080 I never heard of it. I-Is it dirty? 91 00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:23,918 Who cares, who cares. Here's your trophy. 92 00:04:27,158 --> 00:04:29,425 To fat guys with hot wives. 93 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:32,221 This one's for you, Kevin James. 94 00:04:36,361 --> 00:04:37,479 Take a poncho. 95 00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:41,057 I always carry extras in case Homer eats anything slurpable. 96 00:04:41,142 --> 00:04:42,901 That's so clever. 97 00:04:42,986 --> 00:04:46,800 What other big-and-tall "wife hacks" do you have? 98 00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:50,518 Oh, I've got all kinds of tricks for fat-proofing your house. 99 00:04:50,603 --> 00:04:52,939 Come over sometime and I'll show you. 100 00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:55,087 My chashu! 101 00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:01,628 See? Here I've welded high-tensile steel 102 00:05:01,713 --> 00:05:04,556 under the cushions to reduce sofa-sag. 103 00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:06,602 I've lost a lot of furniture 104 00:05:06,686 --> 00:05:08,570 to chubby hubby couch droop. 105 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,234 Oh, Maggie's up. 106 00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:15,770 Can you go sit with her while I warm a bottle? 107 00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:18,854 Oh, but I don't know much about babies. 108 00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:20,708 Except how to dress like one. 109 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,394 All is well. 110 00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:26,596 Silence. 111 00:05:26,681 --> 00:05:27,916 You are loved! 112 00:05:43,532 --> 00:05:47,009 Singing Japanese lullaby... 113 00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:54,075 Look how much she likes you. 114 00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,721 You're a natural. 115 00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:59,572 I just remembered something I must tell my husband. 116 00:06:00,182 --> 00:06:02,291 Impregnate me at once! 117 00:06:03,968 --> 00:06:06,143 But you never wanted children. 118 00:06:06,228 --> 00:06:08,573 You always said our marriage is perfect as it is. 119 00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:12,893 I mean, can you imagine a child playing in this room? 120 00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:15,062 Uh, it's full of toys. 121 00:06:15,236 --> 00:06:17,448 Yes, well, but yeah, but it's selfish 122 00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:20,620 to bring a new life into a world with diminishing resources. 123 00:06:20,705 --> 00:06:23,300 The planet is running out of watchable IP! 124 00:06:23,385 --> 00:06:25,815 They say by 2028 all we will have left 125 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:28,363 is the General Mills Cinematic Universe 126 00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:29,861 starring Hamburger Helper. 127 00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:32,026 If I can't convince you, 128 00:06:32,111 --> 00:06:34,956 maybe she can. 129 00:06:35,988 --> 00:06:37,541 Greta, the sexy Gremlin 130 00:06:37,626 --> 00:06:40,697 from the underappreciated- but-still-terrible Gremlins 2. 131 00:06:41,946 --> 00:06:44,877 I know this is your ultimate fantasy. 132 00:06:44,962 --> 00:06:47,494 It's time to feed your desires 133 00:06:47,579 --> 00:06:48,997 after midnight. 134 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,400 I must resist. 135 00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:56,870 My will is stronger than The Great Resisto, 136 00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,930 a hero I am inventing as I reference him. 137 00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:02,876 Uh, my darling, my darling, I am sorry. 138 00:07:03,712 --> 00:07:06,868 But I have spent every working hour of my life around children, 139 00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:08,555 and one thing I know for certain: 140 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,665 I don't want any. 141 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,274 And... banked. 142 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,837 I want a baby. 143 00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,571 I don't want a baby! 144 00:07:26,157 --> 00:07:28,844 Kumiko's baby fever is out of control. 145 00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:30,821 Look at all these comments she left. 146 00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:33,352 It goes really quick from smiley face 147 00:07:33,437 --> 00:07:36,219 to "Without a baby, all is horror." 148 00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:39,587 Well, I think Comic Book Guy 149 00:07:39,672 --> 00:07:41,090 should have kids. 150 00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:43,293 Oh, that's so sweet. 151 00:07:43,524 --> 00:07:45,258 'Cause screw that jerk! 152 00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:48,610 Thinks his childless life is so great just because it is. 153 00:07:48,703 --> 00:07:50,262 Wakes up whenever he wants. 154 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,047 Doesn't have to lug car seats onto the plane. 155 00:07:53,132 --> 00:07:55,751 He can store poison in the fridge so it's nice and cold. 156 00:07:55,845 --> 00:07:58,797 And don't get me started on their sex life. 157 00:07:58,882 --> 00:08:00,266 They can do it anywhere: 158 00:08:00,351 --> 00:08:03,571 kitchen floor, bathroom floor, on the microwave. 159 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,633 Set that baby on "popcorn." Pop! Pop! Pop! 160 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,274 So... we'll help them? 161 00:08:10,405 --> 00:08:13,477 Anything to destroy their paradise. 162 00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,790 Remember, it's up to you two 163 00:08:21,906 --> 00:08:24,344 to make children seem like a blessing. 164 00:08:24,686 --> 00:08:27,524 Got it. And when she pops out that kid, we each get a 20. 165 00:08:27,609 --> 00:08:30,594 - Or equivalent gift card. - Whoa! That's the stuff. 166 00:08:30,679 --> 00:08:34,286 Oh, look, it's our trivia buddies! 167 00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:37,505 You see movies at the same cemetery we do? 168 00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:39,613 What a pleasant surprise. 169 00:08:40,227 --> 00:08:41,466 Speaking of children, 170 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:44,930 these two were completely planned and wanted. 171 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,335 Shrug, he shrugged. 172 00:08:49,498 --> 00:08:51,982 Uh, why don't we get some more snacks? 173 00:08:53,538 --> 00:08:55,523 Hello, little azuki bean. 174 00:08:57,982 --> 00:08:59,302 Yo, Kingpin! 175 00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:00,838 How's the ponytail hanging? 176 00:09:00,988 --> 00:09:03,834 Don't patronize me, Bart and She-Bart. 177 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,178 I need silence to watch the iconic '80s 178 00:09:06,263 --> 00:09:08,770 time travel epic, Forward to the Past. 179 00:09:08,854 --> 00:09:10,805 Never heard of it. Is it any good? 180 00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:13,841 Okay, it's a consensus top ten family action comedy 181 00:09:13,925 --> 00:09:16,022 that has been delighting bedwetting piglets 182 00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:17,612 like yourself for eons! 183 00:09:17,747 --> 00:09:21,233 Feh! Wah! Hooof! And again, feh! 184 00:09:21,318 --> 00:09:22,817 - Oh. - Huh. 185 00:09:22,901 --> 00:09:26,321 It's so sweet you're helping the Book Guys become a family. 186 00:09:26,405 --> 00:09:28,357 I mean, without kids, come on, 187 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,200 they're just dating with rings on. 188 00:09:31,607 --> 00:09:34,708 Oh, Marge, I love your takes. 189 00:09:34,793 --> 00:09:36,897 Ooh, model crypt. 190 00:09:36,982 --> 00:09:40,168 Fancy! Want to see how the other half dies? 191 00:09:40,642 --> 00:09:41,943 Oh! 192 00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:44,161 We can return to our time 193 00:09:44,246 --> 00:09:46,506 if we can just get this paddle steamer 194 00:09:46,591 --> 00:09:48,631 up to 99 miles an hour. 195 00:09:48,716 --> 00:09:51,112 Is that relative to the shore or the water? 196 00:09:51,196 --> 00:09:53,881 Great Steve, Mickey! I don't know! 197 00:09:54,247 --> 00:09:57,364 Golfer Aoki, four letters. 198 00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:58,763 "Isao." 199 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,044 Hello? Hello?! 200 00:10:00,129 --> 00:10:02,200 The show is up there, not on your lap. 201 00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:04,162 Look, I got to be honest. I only like movies 202 00:10:04,247 --> 00:10:05,493 where Deadpool talks to the camera, 203 00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:06,927 so I'm watching Deadpool. 204 00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,733 Okay, eyes up, TikToks! 205 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:13,036 Tonight, you watch a screen that is unswipeable! 206 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,958 Premium sound system. Sweet. 207 00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:25,763 Honey, just think. 208 00:10:25,848 --> 00:10:27,506 Someday, you and I will be 209 00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:30,084 snuggling next to each other for eternity. 210 00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:33,421 Oh, Homie, I never thought about it that way. 211 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,849 'Till death do each other. 212 00:10:42,347 --> 00:10:45,933 Rivers? Where we're going, we don't need rivers. 213 00:10:55,427 --> 00:10:57,092 Yes, all right, you little trolls. 214 00:10:57,177 --> 00:10:59,686 If you must, tear the classic down 215 00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:02,607 with your snarky little remarks. Go. 216 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,936 An emotionally satisfying ending. 217 00:11:06,021 --> 00:11:08,709 Are you sure this is an American movie? 218 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,208 I can't believe it. 219 00:11:10,293 --> 00:11:12,904 I... cared what happened. 220 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,772 Oh. What is that thrill I'm feeling? 221 00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:20,685 You are experiencing this movie again for the first time, 222 00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:23,239 but through the eyes of children. 223 00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:34,147 Oh, Homie, that was so dangerous. 224 00:11:34,232 --> 00:11:36,350 I feel like Mrs. Dracula. 225 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,252 I definitely had a... 226 00:11:38,336 --> 00:11:40,013 good evening. 227 00:11:41,849 --> 00:11:43,324 Hey, it's locked. 228 00:11:43,408 --> 00:11:45,159 Oh, no! 229 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:48,115 We're trapped in a crypt full of... 230 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,530 smooth jazz. 231 00:11:56,621 --> 00:11:58,083 Little known trivia: 232 00:11:58,191 --> 00:12:01,561 the time travel vehicle was originally a tanning booth. 233 00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:04,212 - Whoa! - That's crazy! 234 00:12:04,296 --> 00:12:07,053 The little ones love your useless knowledge. 235 00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:10,428 Yes, my factoid will be passed on for generations, 236 00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:13,169 and in that way, I will never truly die. 237 00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,444 You know, maybe I was wrong 238 00:12:16,529 --> 00:12:20,282 to dismiss the idea of children so... so quickly. 239 00:12:20,650 --> 00:12:21,881 Do you mean it? 240 00:12:21,966 --> 00:12:24,053 Hurry. Let's return these loaner kids 241 00:12:24,138 --> 00:12:27,201 and go home to make a mixed-race nerd. 242 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,872 Hey, shouldn't Mom and Dad be showing up about now? 243 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:36,256 Mom? Dad? Where are you?! 244 00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:38,346 We are in a cemetery, 245 00:12:38,544 --> 00:12:40,748 so maybe they were attacked by zombies. 246 00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:43,217 Stop it! Stop saying that! 247 00:12:43,301 --> 00:12:45,326 Our parents are undead. 248 00:12:45,411 --> 00:12:47,188 Dad will eat your head. 249 00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:55,803 Let us out! 250 00:12:55,888 --> 00:12:58,842 Great Steve! They are zombies! 251 00:13:05,174 --> 00:13:07,325 They demand... emotional support. 252 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:08,843 You can do it. 253 00:13:08,927 --> 00:13:10,344 Give them comfort. 254 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,263 Must... act like... loving father. 255 00:13:16,411 --> 00:13:17,602 I flee. 256 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,021 But you caved! 257 00:13:26,232 --> 00:13:29,177 Mom! Dad! You're okay! 258 00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:30,837 Hey, where'd the dork go? 259 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,975 Your children's emotional needs 260 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,576 have pushed him away. 261 00:13:34,661 --> 00:13:37,305 If I know him, and I don't, 262 00:13:37,389 --> 00:13:39,040 I'm sure he'll be back. 263 00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:43,794 No. He has run to a place where there is no hope. 264 00:13:49,771 --> 00:13:52,247 I have returned. Forever. 265 00:13:52,435 --> 00:13:55,943 Your room is unchanged... as are your sheets. 266 00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:05,091 So... your husband ran away to his childhood home, 267 00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:06,741 leaving you alone. 268 00:14:06,872 --> 00:14:09,264 Maybe forever. Also, childless. 269 00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:12,498 I'm sure you're experiencing 270 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,748 a lot of feelings right now. 271 00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,551 It's okay to let them out. 272 00:14:19,013 --> 00:14:22,037 I hate you, you shameless womb tease! 273 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,115 You're like a baby drug dealer! 274 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,217 You give me a taste, and now I'm hooked! 275 00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,186 This is on you, too! 276 00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:31,897 You've crushed my only chance at happiness, 277 00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:34,600 you ape-faced cheeseburger goblin! 278 00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:38,576 Make this right. 279 00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:40,786 Bring back my husband! 280 00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:50,381 Whoa. So this is where Comic Book Guy grew up. 281 00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:54,006 We'll finally see what kind of "its" created a "that." 282 00:14:57,411 --> 00:15:01,529 Ah, you must be delivering my 1912 Polish coronation stamp. 283 00:15:01,614 --> 00:15:03,373 Actually, we're looking for someone 284 00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:05,061 we call "Comic Book Guy." 285 00:15:05,146 --> 00:15:08,670 Enter. My son is in here... somewhere. 286 00:15:08,911 --> 00:15:11,873 Oh, well, thank you, Mr., uh... 287 00:15:12,113 --> 00:15:15,919 You may refer to me as "Postage Stamp Fellow." 288 00:15:19,391 --> 00:15:21,626 What is this crazy place? 289 00:15:26,638 --> 00:15:27,872 This crazy place 290 00:15:27,957 --> 00:15:30,037 is Comic Book Guy's childhood home. 291 00:15:30,122 --> 00:15:32,045 An only child, he grew up surrounded 292 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:36,200 by an eccentric extended family of childless aunts and uncles. 293 00:15:36,285 --> 00:15:39,389 However, his family poured their love into their collections, 294 00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:43,264 instead of into the lonely little boy wandering the halls. 295 00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:46,615 His aunt collected taxidermized chestnut-tailed starlings, 296 00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:49,897 causing her to form a tacit alliance with her twin brother, 297 00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:52,497 who collected brutalist birdhouses. 298 00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:55,951 His great step-uncle, 299 00:15:56,036 --> 00:15:58,678 who had once had his heart broken by a meter maid, 300 00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:01,864 was a gatherer of discredited obstetric equipment, 301 00:16:01,949 --> 00:16:03,583 while his younger dowager aunt 302 00:16:03,668 --> 00:16:06,086 collected antique Chinese cricket boxes 303 00:16:06,171 --> 00:16:07,927 and filled them with live crickets, 304 00:16:08,012 --> 00:16:09,396 who frequently escaped. 305 00:16:10,593 --> 00:16:12,026 The only thing of value 306 00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,966 the family did not display in the home was love. 307 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:17,732 And the love he sought most was that of his father, 308 00:16:17,817 --> 00:16:20,753 who spent his days as an avid philatelist. 309 00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:40,755 Mint. Mint. Near mint. Very fine. 310 00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,216 Hi, um, there. 311 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,544 Maybe you might feel better if you came home with us? 312 00:16:46,651 --> 00:16:48,498 I am home. From now on, 313 00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:51,169 my only companion is my comic book collection. 314 00:16:51,316 --> 00:16:53,267 Mint. Mint. Near mint. 315 00:16:53,488 --> 00:16:55,198 Gem mint. Mint. Mint... 316 00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:58,086 - Look at the sad little boy. - Mint. Mint. Mint. Mint. 317 00:16:58,256 --> 00:16:59,966 Is that you? 318 00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:03,255 Worst... day... ever! 319 00:17:04,035 --> 00:17:06,880 There's got to be more to this story. 320 00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,927 There was more to this story. 321 00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:13,927 Without anyone to play with, the lonely boy turned to baseball. 322 00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:15,943 His favorite pitcher was Sandy Koufax, 323 00:17:16,028 --> 00:17:19,380 and he perfected a curveball of rare devastation. 324 00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:22,419 However, his team would never give him a chance. 325 00:17:22,762 --> 00:17:24,622 But on the day before the big game, 326 00:17:24,707 --> 00:17:27,958 all the starting pitchers were injured in a multi-canoe pile-up 327 00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:31,723 caused by the sighting of an unusually large lake sturgeon. 328 00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,575 He got the call to pitch. 329 00:17:35,979 --> 00:17:38,498 His dearest hope was that his father would finally see 330 00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:40,466 his masterful curveball in action. 331 00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:43,130 But during the biggest moment of his young life, 332 00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:46,224 his dad was nowhere to be seen. 333 00:18:10,849 --> 00:18:12,279 He escaped his sadness 334 00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:16,052 into a world of heroes, villains and Jugheads. 335 00:18:19,122 --> 00:18:22,841 In that moment, he became more than a boy but less than a man. 336 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,950 He became Comic Book Guy. 337 00:18:28,076 --> 00:18:30,350 Marge then confronted Postage Stamp Fellow 338 00:18:30,435 --> 00:18:33,138 about this life-changing incident with his son. 339 00:18:33,223 --> 00:18:36,099 What? Oh. Okay. 340 00:18:38,223 --> 00:18:41,404 Why weren't you there for your son when he needed you? 341 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,607 This is not a family to rummage through the past. 342 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:45,980 Emotionally. 343 00:18:46,064 --> 00:18:49,049 You tell me why you didn't go to your son's baseball game, 344 00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,318 or I'll lick it. 345 00:18:50,403 --> 00:18:51,987 My Inverted Dendermonde? 346 00:18:52,072 --> 00:18:53,356 You wouldn't dare! 347 00:18:55,282 --> 00:18:56,635 All right, all right! I'll tell you! 348 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,161 I was buying him that. 349 00:19:01,846 --> 00:19:04,265 Go ahead. Tell him. 350 00:19:05,154 --> 00:19:06,545 I didn't go to your game, 351 00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:08,553 because I was afraid if you lost, 352 00:19:08,638 --> 00:19:10,704 I wouldn't know how to comfort you. 353 00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:13,274 So I supported you the only way I knew how. 354 00:19:13,358 --> 00:19:15,042 I purchased you a collectible. 355 00:19:15,263 --> 00:19:18,012 Which I never had the heart to give you. 356 00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:19,880 Sandy Koufax, 357 00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:22,049 the left arm of God! 358 00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:25,483 Son, perhaps we should do something we've never done. 359 00:19:25,568 --> 00:19:26,754 Have a catch? 360 00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:28,753 I think I would like that. 361 00:19:30,975 --> 00:19:32,526 - Ow! - Ow! 362 00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:34,428 - Ow! - Ow! 363 00:19:34,512 --> 00:19:38,725 Everyone, my son and I are having a catch. 364 00:19:38,903 --> 00:19:41,612 Love was finally on display. 365 00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,364 - Ow. - Ow. 366 00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:49,428 Well, maybe Comic Book Guy won't be so afraid to be a father. 367 00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:52,244 Sucker. 368 00:19:55,786 --> 00:19:58,285 Wife, I have returned... healed! 369 00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:01,528 I am now... Changed Better Guy. 370 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,058 My ultimate fantasy. 371 00:20:04,142 --> 00:20:07,962 Mr. Beaver from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. 372 00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:10,452 You are ready to make a baby. 373 00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:12,536 Sync corrections by srjanapala 374 00:20:14,943 --> 00:20:18,575 Instrumental intro to "Ooh La La" plays... 375 00:20:36,074 --> 00:20:38,755 ♪ Poor old Granddad ♪ 376 00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:41,695 ♪ I laughed at all his words ♪ 377 00:20:42,247 --> 00:20:45,389 ♪ I thought he was a bitter man ♪ 378 00:20:45,474 --> 00:20:47,888 ♪ He spoke of women's ways... ♪ 379 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,808 ♪ They trap you and they use you ♪ 380 00:20:53,893 --> 00:20:57,033 ♪ Before you even know ♪ 381 00:20:57,118 --> 00:21:00,174 ♪ But love is blind and you're far too kind ♪ 382 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,150 ♪ Don't ever let it show ♪ 383 00:21:03,439 --> 00:21:07,861 ♪ I wish that I knew what I know now ♪ 384 00:21:08,236 --> 00:21:09,869 ♪ When I was younger ♪ 385 00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:14,290 ♪ I wish that I knew what I know now ♪ 386 00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:16,229 ♪ When I was stronger ♪ 387 00:21:16,314 --> 00:21:19,166 ♪ The can-can's such a pretty show ♪ 388 00:21:19,251 --> 00:21:22,197 ♪ Will steal your heart away ♪ 389 00:21:22,494 --> 00:21:25,884 ♪ But backstage back on Earth again ♪ 390 00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:28,673 ♪ The dressing rooms are gray ♪ 391 00:21:29,134 --> 00:21:31,078 ♪ They come on strong and it ain't too... ♪ 392 00:21:31,162 --> 00:21:32,361 Shh! 29226

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