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00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,338
- ♪ Look up there ♪
- ♪ What do you see? ♪
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00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:05,973
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,350
- ♪ Like a rock ♪
- ♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,977
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,614
♪ Way up here,you can breathe the air ♪
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00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,982
♪ Catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,617
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
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00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:17,618
♪ Wow ♪
9
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:21,188
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,523
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
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00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,124
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
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00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,631
♪ From longest nightto longest day ♪
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00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,663
♪ In the Great North. ♪
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00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,572
(grunts) All right,
I've chopped this month's wood,
15
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,308
mended the fishing nets,
canned a batch of pepper jelly,
16
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,143
brainstormed
my Halloween costume.
17
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,678
I think people are gonna love me
18
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,847
as Sully
from Monsters University.
19
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,248
And it's... 5:00 a. m.?
20
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:49,917
Kids'll be up soon.
21
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,019
Ooh, I almost forgot
to stare with wild wonder
22
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:56,123
at Alaska's majesty
while whispering "Hot dog."
23
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,559
(whispers):
Hot dog.
24
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,160
- Dad.
- Moon.
25
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,161
Drinking coffee again?
26
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,696
Yes. I am ten.
27
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,641
Besides, I was up all night
tracking a red squirrel
28
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,733
I believe ate some bologna
I was drying on the roof.
29
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,602
- You mean this guy?
- (chittering)
30
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,103
- You got him.
- I'll set him free
31
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:11,505
once I've had a few words
with him
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00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,307
about whose bologna is whose
around here.
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00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:14,541
Thank you, Father.
34
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,109
Good morning, Ham.
How'd you sleep?
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00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,678
(exhales)
Spectacularly.
36
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,280
I dreamt I tasted an ice cream
flavor called "buffet,"
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00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,182
and I awoke feeling complete.
38
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,551
And then I took a glorious dump.
39
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,386
WOLF:
Sup, chumps? (chuckles)
40
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,830
I'm just kidding.
Just fooling around.
41
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,790
Good morning,
brother, brother, Father.
42
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,158
Ah, the fiancés are up.
43
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:32,859
I've been thinking
about your wedding,
44
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,262
and I have some... one idea.
45
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,964
We do it on the family boat!
46
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,433
No. Mm‐mm. I picked out our
wedding theme a few months ago
47
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,144
on my drive,
when I moved here from Fresno.
48
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:44,404
I want to base the wedding
on my favorite romantic movie,
49
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,139
Brokeback Mountain.
50
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,541
It'll be in a giant tent.
51
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,142
Everyone's wearing jean jacket.
52
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:51,378
There'll be a lot
of loose sheep everywhere.
53
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,480
But no one will be quitting
anyone.
54
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,591
And I'm inviting
Jake Gyllenhaal.
55
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,682
But if he can't make it,
56
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:56,984
hopefully Maggie Gyllenhaal.
57
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,585
And if she can't make it,
58
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,372
then hopefully her husband,
Peter Sarsgaard.
59
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,488
And if he can't make it,
60
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,256
then Alexander Skarsgard.
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00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,625
It was a very long drive.
62
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,493
Well, speaking of celebrations,
63
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,463
as you all know, it's your
sister Judy's sweet 16 today,
64
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:10,731
and I planned a celebration
65
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,100
that's
every teenage girl's dream,
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00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,169
a full day out on the fishing
boat with her brothers and dad.
67
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,871
No frills, no thrills‐‐
68
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,674
just hard work and the feeling
of a birthday job well done.
69
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,310
Uh, should we at least look into
a clown who's afraid of water?
70
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,245
That could be fun.
He'd be all nervous.
71
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,913
Where is Judy anyways?
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00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,158
She said she wanted to have
a luxurious birthday morning
73
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,917
and sleep in till 5:45.
74
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,019
How decadent.
75
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,021
‐(alarm beeping) ‐(gasps)
76
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,522
Good morning, Judy!
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00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,624
You are finally 16 today,
you beautiful beast.
78
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,993
I went to sleep a child,
and I woke up a sophisticated
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00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,595
and artistic woman.
80
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,297
This is the year I trade in
my barrettes for berets.
81
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,408
But not literally,
because I need
82
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,900
to keep my hair off my face.
83
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:50,103
Ah, good morning, imaginary
best friend/inspiration
84
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,605
Alanis Morissette.
85
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,907
And good morning
to my best friend/inspiration
86
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,709
- Judy Tobin.
- Aw. Really?
87
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,520
Or are you just saying that
because it's my birthday?
88
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,413
- Yes. Happy birthday!
- Oh.
89
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,982
Well, I have
a big birthday announcement.
90
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,450
(mimics fanfare)
91
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,686
- (mimics fanfare)
- I got the job!
92
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,421
Well, Judy,
I have one hand in my pocket,
93
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,723
and the other one
is very proud of you.
94
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:13,360
You are looking at the newest
associ‐ette photograph‐ette
95
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,028
at the Point & Shoot
Photo Studio,
96
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,165
conveniently located
at the most inspiring place
97
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,366
in all of Alaska!
98
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,934
- The mall.
- The mall.
99
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,738
Oh, the bouquet of perfume
samples at La Smell Hut.
100
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:28,542
The weird empty area between
the fountain and the directory.
101
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:31,545
The cute, slightly older boy
who works at Smoothie Boss.
102
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,513
The way his semi‐tight pants
highlight his,
103
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,482
um, downstairs situation.
104
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,126
Yeah, you get it.
You specifically get it.
105
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,286
But, Judy,
did you tell your dad yet?
106
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,054
No. You know how he is
with change.
107
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,823
I mean, when Mom ran off
to Pennsylvania
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00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,458
to be with her lover Marcus,
109
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,393
my dad told us all
that she got eaten by a bear
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00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,761
in the Val‐U‐Buy parking lot.
111
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,696
But she's alive,
and we all know that.
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00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,908
(groans) And ever since then,
he just wants the whole family
113
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,500
to be together all the time.
114
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,178
It'll break his heart
if I can't be on the boat
115
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,571
from 3:00 p. m. to 7:00 p. m.
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
116
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,573
But... (scoffs)
Judy, get real.
117
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,484
You‐you don't want to spend
your life catching fish
118
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,176
after fish after fish
119
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,978
after fish after fish
120
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,113
after fish.
121
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,647
- I know, but...
- After fish.
122
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,649
Oh, sorry. I thought
you were done. Are you done?
123
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:10,717
Look, there comes a time
124
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,319
in every young
artistic woman's life
125
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,387
when she must
put aside her barrettes,
126
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,622
put on her berets...
127
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,057
I was just saying that earlier.
128
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,725
...and grab life by the ass.
129
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,362
Yes. I just need to take one
butt cheek of life in each hand,
130
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,164
spread 'em apart, and dive...
131
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,799
Oh!
(screaming)
132
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,467
Calm down, Judy!
Oh, God!
133
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:30,237
I got to calm down!
I have to calm down.
134
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:31,371
For safety.
135
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,739
(announcer voice):
And now,
136
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,075
entering the kitchen,
137
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,911
16‐year‐old Judy Tobin!
138
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,479
(normal voice):
It's me. Hi.
139
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:42,015
I made 16 pancakes
for the birthday girl.
140
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,583
And I made a portrait
141
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,528
of the whole family's
inner yearnings out of yarn,
142
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,521
and it's called Inner Yarnings.
143
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,565
(chuckles): Oh. That's going
right up on the fridge.
144
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:51,758
Everybody stuff up
with carbs and meats,
145
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,894
'cause it's gonna be
a real Nippy Nora
146
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,529
for the birthday boat party.
147
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,164
Just how we Tobins like it.
148
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,265
That's right, son.
149
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,533
From the day we chew ourselves
150
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,468
off our mother's umbilical cord
151
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,904
to the day
a wild animal eats us,
152
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,338
we are fighters,
153
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,474
born to wrestle nature itself
into submission
154
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,576
year after glorious year.
155
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,945
My God,
this man can give a toast.
156
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,513
Now let's take a moment
of silence
157
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,216
for someone who can't celebrate
with us today,
158
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,585
your dear departed mother
Kathleen.
159
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,188
Is that the same fur bikini
your dad has in the guest cabin
160
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,365
with all the candles around it?
161
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,389
(whispers):
It is.
162
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,758
‐(clattering) ‐Hark,
163
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,526
some sort of beast
has entered our abode.
164
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:29,229
Line up behind me
in order of bravery.
165
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,165
(screams)
166
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:33,632
- Moose!
- BEEF: Everyone stay back.
167
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,468
Let me try
to get him out of here. Easy.
168
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,580
Does that moose have "sexin"
balloons in his antlers?
169
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,339
- Easy.
- Is that a sex moose?
170
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:40,917
That's not what‐‐ The balloons
spelled out "sixteen."
171
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,621
And they weren't supposed
to be on a moose!
172
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,211
How did a moose
even get in here?
173
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,579
Oh, moose can get in anywhere.
174
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,347
Last fall,
one got into the school gym
175
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,082
during a basketball game.
176
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,927
He made the winning basket and
then nearly killed the coach.
177
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,953
Yeah, moose are
super dangerous, my love.
178
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,955
But they're so big and cute,
like Jason Momoa.
179
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,591
I find him more brutally
handsome than cute, but...
180
00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,292
Guys, please!
I'm trying to focus.
181
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,561
Dad, hold the moose.
I'll ride it out of here.
182
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,506
Moon, for the hundredth time,
you can't ride a moose.
183
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,732
- You can't ride a moose.
- (snorts)
184
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,203
- (bellowing)
- You ruined Judy's birthday balloons,
185
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,872
- you friggin' jerk!
- Wolf, no!
186
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,273
Just let him go!
187
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,912
Oh, no! The moose got
Mom's pageant bikini!
188
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,314
And her gorgeous
hair extensions!
189
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,483
JUDY:
No! Sexi! Stop!
190
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,851
(sighs)
191
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,454
Those were the last things
we had of your mom's.
192
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,189
No, Dad, we still have...
193
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,724
uh, our memories.
194
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,026
Like the day
she left for Pennsyl...
195
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,361
Uh, Pennsyl... heaven.
196
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,795
Uh, penc... uh, pencil heaven.
197
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,063
To be with the angels.
198
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,598
And the pencils.
199
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,834
Uh, because she was a saint
who is definitely dead.
200
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,302
Mm‐hmm. End of discussion.
201
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,437
If only being a saint
was enough to stop her
202
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,072
from being eaten to death
by a bear
203
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:49,009
on her way to buy medicine
for the children's hospital.
204
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,011
The children's hospital
accepts donated medicine?
205
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,314
Well, as much as I'd like
to track that moose down‐‐
206
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,882
for the sport of it,
207
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,493
not because I'm obsessed
with your mother's things
208
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,861
that still smell
a little bit like her
209
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,453
and that I sometimes like
to smell‐‐
210
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,289
we can't let this ruin
Judy's big day.
211
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:03,690
Let's load up for the boat.
212
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,326
(whistling, crying)
213
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,961
(whispering):
Psst, everyone,
214
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,930
family meeting right now.
215
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,064
Why are we whispering?
216
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,341
Because I don't want Dad
to hear.
217
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,365
And it's fun.
218
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,734
Yes. Moon gets it.
219
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,569
So, has the meeting
started yet, or...?
220
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:19,172
No, I think this is just
sort of pre‐meeting chitchat.
221
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,173
It is. Good eye.
222
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,608
Meeting starts... now.
223
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,515
(normal volume):
So, uh, Dad seems pretty upset
224
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,178
about that moose
taking Mom's stuff.
225
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:28,581
Therefore, Judy, you cannot tell
him about your new job today.
226
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,884
I mean, we could be headed
for a full‐scale Beef‐Melt.
227
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,386
What's a Beef‐Melt?
That sounds delicious.
228
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,488
It's not. It's when
our dad has a freak‐out.
229
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,223
He closes himself in his room,
230
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,925
he only eats icicles
231
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,461
and watches every season
of Gilmore Girls on a loop.
232
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,331
Yeah, we avoid Beef‐Melts
at all costs.
233
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,132
He had his first one
when our mom left.
234
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,677
Even though she was
a really bad mom, okay?
235
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,436
And it was actually better
when she left.
236
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,305
Yeah. She named our dog Grandma
so she wouldn't be lying
237
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,874
when she said we were
with Grandma when people asked.
238
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,410
Oh. Remember when Grandma
got into the trash
239
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,913
and ate all those squeezable
yogurt wrappers?
240
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,114
She was the best.
241
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,458
So your dad pretends
your mom's dead,
242
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,150
and you pretend to believe him?
243
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,485
And we never talk about it,
244
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,454
- and we never will.
- Perfect system.
245
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,223
So, should I just never tell Dad
about my job?
246
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,858
I guess I could say
I have diarrhea
247
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,728
every Tuesday and Thursday
from 3:00 p. m. to 7:00 p. m.
248
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,429
for the rest of my life.
249
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,999
Good plan.
Uh, great plan, 'kay?
250
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,500
Okay, let's move out.
251
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:23,236
Judy, I'm really sorry
about your diarrhea.
252
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,171
- I just found out.
- Oh, it's‐‐
253
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,673
Thank you. Thanks, Ham.
254
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,317
So, I guess if Judy
isn't gonna tell your dad
255
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,642
about her mall job yet,
256
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,220
you don't want to tell him
we want to move
257
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,488
into the guesthouse either, huh?
258
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,948
This is no time
for me to be moving away
259
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,349
from my family, Honeybee.
260
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,051
If I moved here
all the way from Fresno,
261
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,228
you can move into your backyard.
262
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,520
Okay. Fair point.
263
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,722
I'll talk to him
as soon as he's stable.
264
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,557
- (crying)
- Never gonna talk to him, are you?
265
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,192
(chuckles nervously)
I totally am.
266
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,494
Uh, uh, well, no. Yes.
267
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,995
BEEF:
Okay, birthday girl.
268
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,373
Which one of our cassettes
do you want,
269
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,365
Madonna's Bedtime Stories
270
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,534
or songs from the TV show
She's the Sheriff?
271
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,669
I'll take those sweet
sheriff serenades, sir.
272
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,004
Hey, uh, Dad,
273
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,949
didn't you just miss
the turnoff for the marina?
274
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:03,109
First, we got to make a quick
birthday detour to the mall.
275
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,377
- The mall?!
- Yep!
276
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,346
It's a big birthday surprise!
277
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,281
Hey, isn't the mall
where Judy got that job
278
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,816
we can't let Dad find out about?
279
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,484
- Or no?
- (whispers): Yes.
280
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,887
Now would be a great time
for you to get diarrhea, Judy.
281
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,022
- (whispers): For real.
- I'll do what I can.
282
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,424
(grunts, squeaks, exhales)
283
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,659
Just coming up farts over here.
284
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,206
BEEF:Come on, everyone, keep up.I want you to see the look
285
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,132
on Judy's face
when she gets her gift.
286
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,794
Elevator in progress?
287
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,497
Well, we're all in progress
till we die, elevator.
288
00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:33,432
What would Dad get me
at the mall anyway?
289
00:09:33,499 --> 00:09:35,243
I mean, the only thing he likes
here are those cinnamon buns
290
00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:36,611
that he gets at the food court
and then he unravels
291
00:09:36,635 --> 00:09:38,170
and pretends
like it's a little snake.
292
00:09:38,237 --> 00:09:39,772
That's not‐‐ I don't want that.
293
00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,173
Well, he told me
how proud he was
294
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,608
when Judy caught
that giant salmon
295
00:09:42,675 --> 00:09:44,176
and that he wanted
to commemorate it
296
00:09:44,243 --> 00:09:45,620
with a framed photograph
from that‐‐
297
00:09:45,644 --> 00:09:48,113
what is it‐‐
uh, Point & Shoot, I think?
298
00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:49,581
ALL:
What?
299
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:53,018
You mean the location
of Judy's secret job?
300
00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:55,187
♪ ♪
301
00:09:55,254 --> 00:09:56,722
Son of a beaver.
I'll slow him down.
302
00:09:56,789 --> 00:09:58,457
And I'll run ahead
and I'll try to, uh,
303
00:09:58,524 --> 00:10:01,327
go back in time and,
uh, kill... this mall!
304
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,662
Hey, Dad!
Did you see this indoor plant?!
305
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,297
That is an abomination.
306
00:10:05,364 --> 00:10:07,499
We are gonna get you out
of here, buddy.
307
00:10:09,368 --> 00:10:11,403
♪ Crispin. ♪
308
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,305
Whoa, hey, Crispin...
309
00:10:13,372 --> 00:10:15,207
- Oh. Hey, Rudy.
- Oh. It's, uh...
310
00:10:15,274 --> 00:10:17,242
It's stupid,
but it's actually Judy.
311
00:10:17,309 --> 00:10:19,411
Judy is my name.
(chuckles): Yeah. Anyway,
312
00:10:19,478 --> 00:10:22,181
it must be really fun making...
smoothies.
313
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,615
- It's terrible.
- WOLF: Judy,
314
00:10:23,682 --> 00:10:25,451
get your rear in gear!
Trouble's a‐near!
315
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:27,453
Stay smooth!
I mean, stay cool.
316
00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:29,888
(chuckles)
Sincerely, comma,
317
00:10:29,955 --> 00:10:32,458
- Judy.
- All right, my birthday bundle.
318
00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:34,226
Are you ready
for your big surprise?
319
00:10:34,293 --> 00:10:35,961
(quietly):
Oh, God.
320
00:10:36,028 --> 00:10:39,231
- ♪ Alyson ♪
- ♪ Ooh, that's right ♪
321
00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:41,467
- ♪ Yeah. ♪
- Hot dog.
322
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:44,470
- Hello, Miss Lefebvrere.
- Oh, hello again, Beef.
323
00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:46,939
I hope you don't mind, I took
the liberty of throwing in
324
00:10:47,006 --> 00:10:50,242
a bow for an extra $3.68.
325
00:10:50,309 --> 00:10:52,211
(chuckles):
Oh, I'm sorry.
326
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,880
- Make that... 69.
- (Beef coughs)
327
00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:56,181
Did you say "69"?
328
00:10:56,248 --> 00:10:59,318
I clearly said... 69.
329
00:10:59,385 --> 00:11:00,419
Oh, wait, it's 70.
330
00:11:00,486 --> 00:11:02,121
Good Lord, that's a huge relief.
331
00:11:02,187 --> 00:11:03,756
Oh, wait. No.
332
00:11:03,822 --> 00:11:05,858
It was... 69.
333
00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:07,526
(groans)
Damn it.
334
00:11:07,593 --> 00:11:09,995
Wow, something is not right
about the price of that bow.
335
00:11:10,062 --> 00:11:11,797
How much is it? Tell me again.
336
00:11:11,864 --> 00:11:13,665
Was it 68? Or 70?
337
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,501
They keep going back
between the numbers.
338
00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:17,669
It was 69 on the dot,
and you know it.
339
00:11:17,736 --> 00:11:20,472
- God help me.
- Okay, here we go. This is done.
340
00:11:20,539 --> 00:11:23,075
Just moving our legs
towards the exit.
341
00:11:23,142 --> 00:11:24,576
And we're walking.
342
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,521
- Walking. Walking.
- Well, great to see you all.
343
00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:28,814
- And Judy?
- (all gasp) - Yeah?
344
00:11:28,881 --> 00:11:30,015
Happy birthday.
345
00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:31,417
- Oh, thanks.
- (all exhale)
346
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,318
- Oh, and Judy?
- (all gasp) - Yeah?
347
00:11:33,385 --> 00:11:35,554
- Oh! I forgot
what I was gonna say. - (all exhale)
348
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:37,665
Oh, now I remember. I'll see you
back here on Tuesday
349
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,225
for your shift
from 3:00 p. m. to 7:00 p. m.
350
00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:41,427
- Damn it!
- Shift?
351
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,128
What's she talking about, Judy?
352
00:11:43,195 --> 00:11:44,739
Say she's talking
about your shift in perspective
353
00:11:44,763 --> 00:11:46,999
and newfound positive outlook
on life.
354
00:11:47,066 --> 00:11:48,267
Say it, Judy. Say it.
355
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,536
Dad, it's time for me to...
356
00:11:50,602 --> 00:11:53,338
grab life's butt cheeks
by the hands and...
357
00:11:53,405 --> 00:11:56,542
and, uh, take
kind of a deep dive into, uh...
358
00:11:56,608 --> 00:11:58,410
What do you mean, Judy?
Is this another one
359
00:11:58,477 --> 00:12:01,180
of your performance pieces?
One of your Improv Everywheres?
360
00:12:01,246 --> 00:12:03,082
I have a job
at the mall now, Dad.
361
00:12:03,148 --> 00:12:04,950
You what? You where?
362
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:07,853
Judy's our newest associ‐ette
photograph‐ette here.
363
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,455
She's got an amazing eye
364
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,433
for photos and a head
for light cash register work.
365
00:12:11,457 --> 00:12:14,793
Well, congratulations, Judy.
366
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,395
(grunts)
367
00:12:17,996 --> 00:12:20,766
- Kathleen. Bikini.
- JUDY: I have a job- at the mall now, Dad.
368
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:22,334
BEEF:
Smoothie. (grunts)
369
00:12:22,401 --> 00:12:24,002
WOLF: The moose got
Mom's pageant bikini!
370
00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:27,139
HAM:And her gorgeoushair extensions.
371
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:28,674
Dad, no! It's still in progress!
372
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,209
(elevator bell chimes)
373
00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:32,377
Uh, Rudy? Your dad's stuck
in the elevator.
374
00:12:36,648 --> 00:12:39,051
Well, it's a beautiful day to go
out on the boat. (chuckles)
375
00:12:39,118 --> 00:12:41,353
- BEEF: Mm‐hmm.
- Man, it doesn't, uh, matter
376
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:42,797
how much water
you put that thing in.
377
00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:44,890
- It just floats, right?
- Say, if that picture's
378
00:12:44,957 --> 00:12:48,127
taking up too much room, we can
just throw it into the ocean
379
00:12:48,193 --> 00:12:49,528
like we do so many other things
380
00:12:49,595 --> 00:12:51,530
that are valuable to us
as a family.
381
00:12:51,597 --> 00:12:52,965
It's fine.
382
00:12:53,031 --> 00:12:54,566
Oh, hey, did you hear
383
00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:56,578
about the new generator model
coming out next week?
384
00:12:56,602 --> 00:12:59,371
Should be... Should
generate a lot. (chuckles)
385
00:12:59,438 --> 00:13:01,240
Don't you have thoughts
about that, Dad?
386
00:13:01,306 --> 00:13:02,506
BEEF:
Not this minute, I don't.
387
00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:04,810
(gasps)
Dad's gone mute on generators?
388
00:13:04,877 --> 00:13:06,178
Oh, this is bad.
389
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,913
I know, let's list crustaceans.
390
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,648
- Honeybee, you go first.
- I don't know.
391
00:13:09,715 --> 00:13:11,984
Crab? Crab dip? Squidward?
392
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,285
- Hiya, Beef!
- BEEF: Mm‐hmm.
393
00:13:13,352 --> 00:13:14,653
‐Oh, hiya, Tobins.
394
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,321
- Hello.
- Hi, Londra. - Nice fish.
395
00:13:16,388 --> 00:13:18,624
No pressure,
but you still haven't RSVP'd
396
00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:20,325
for my Tupperware party.
397
00:13:20,392 --> 00:13:23,061
If I don't sell enough, I'll owe
thousands to my mentor Sheryl.
398
00:13:23,128 --> 00:13:24,296
Not now, Londra!
399
00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:26,131
HAM:
All right, Dad.
400
00:13:26,198 --> 00:13:28,167
Ready to get a handle
on these candles?
401
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,369
By lighting them?
402
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:32,804
Hmm.
403
00:13:32,871 --> 00:13:33,972
(grunts)
404
00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:35,674
You got this, Dad. You got this!
405
00:13:35,741 --> 00:13:37,652
Should we just do
virtual candles? I have an app.
406
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:39,311
You can get 'em
to look like the Minions.
407
00:13:39,378 --> 00:13:40,779
Dad's got it under control.
408
00:13:40,846 --> 00:13:42,948
Yeah. We're gonna light
the candles with a match
409
00:13:43,015 --> 00:13:44,349
just like we always do.
410
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:46,518
Aren't we, Dad? Aren't we?
411
00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:49,655
(grunts) You know,
I was counting on these matches
412
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:52,224
to do the one thing
they said they were gonna do,
413
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:53,759
and now they're just...
414
00:13:53,825 --> 00:13:55,470
they're just getting a job
at the Point & Shoot.
415
00:13:55,494 --> 00:13:57,162
- That's it. I'm quitting.
- What?
416
00:13:57,229 --> 00:13:59,364
I'm quitting the job
that I haven't even started yet
417
00:13:59,431 --> 00:14:01,266
so that everything
can just go back to normal.
418
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:02,768
- What?
- No! - No, Judy.
419
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,937
You can't give up on something
so important to you.
420
00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:06,772
Just like moving
into Mom's old guest cabin
421
00:14:06,838 --> 00:14:09,141
- is important
to me and Honeybee. - What?!
422
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:10,876
Well, you got
to know sometime, Dad.
423
00:14:10,943 --> 00:14:12,778
Also, I am gay.
424
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:16,515
Ham, we know. You've come out
to us a bunch of times.
425
00:14:16,582 --> 00:14:17,749
- I have?
- Yes!
426
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,561
And we love you
just the way you are, damn it!
427
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:22,221
Well, thank you
for being an ally!
428
00:14:22,287 --> 00:14:23,488
Why are we yelling?
429
00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:25,457
Because I'm upset
about other stuff!
430
00:14:25,524 --> 00:14:27,593
Namely that Judy's
got another job
431
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,361
and Wolf wants to move
across town.
432
00:14:29,428 --> 00:14:31,468
- It's the backyard, Dad.
- And all your mom's stuff
433
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:33,599
got stolen by a moose
and these matches won't light.
434
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,734
Moon, you got any secrets
to share?
435
00:14:35,801 --> 00:14:39,071
- Well, I know
Mom's not really dea... - No? Okay, great.
436
00:14:39,137 --> 00:14:41,106
I need to, to use the restroom.
437
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,674
The toilet's still there, right?
438
00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:44,485
Or did that change on me, too?
Is it a fridge now?
439
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,845
- Well, then,
I'll poop in the fridge. - Dad, no.
440
00:14:46,912 --> 00:14:48,146
It'll be so cold.
441
00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:49,781
- No. Let him.
- Ooh!
442
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:52,217
For 99 cents,
we can get little cat candles
443
00:14:52,284 --> 00:14:53,819
that say "happy purr‐thday."
444
00:14:53,885 --> 00:14:56,021
That'll cheer your dad up
when he gets back.
445
00:14:56,088 --> 00:14:58,523
He's not coming back.
446
00:14:59,391 --> 00:15:00,726
I guess we're orphans now.
447
00:15:00,792 --> 00:15:02,303
Maybe we can stop
by the animal shelter
448
00:15:02,327 --> 00:15:04,896
on the way home
and get a new Grandma.
449
00:15:04,963 --> 00:15:06,331
LONDRA:
Huh.
450
00:15:06,398 --> 00:15:08,267
That was a quick birthday party.
451
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,502
Yeah. Dad got mad and ran away.
Did you see him?
452
00:15:10,569 --> 00:15:12,471
Yeah, I saw him pull up
in the rowboat.
453
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,973
He was muttering,
but I didn't think much of it.
454
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,508
Everyone around here mutters.
455
00:15:16,575 --> 00:15:18,210
(all muttering)
456
00:15:18,277 --> 00:15:19,754
All right.
Well, we got to go find him.
457
00:15:19,778 --> 00:15:22,114
Okay. By the way,
there will be lemon squares
458
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:24,383
- at the Tupperware party.
- Not now, Londra.
459
00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:25,651
You got it.
460
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,586
Okay, so it looks like Dad
461
00:15:27,653 --> 00:15:29,497
went after that moose
that snatched Mom's bikini.
462
00:15:29,521 --> 00:15:31,657
We've got snow machine tracks,
463
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,325
footprints, snowshoe prints,
464
00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:35,927
and what looks like
waffle maker prints.
465
00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:39,298
Oh, that clever son of a bitch
does not want to be found.
466
00:15:39,364 --> 00:15:41,333
All right, let's all split up
and look for him.
467
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,001
Here's a flare gun
for each of you.
468
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,369
Send one up if you find him.
469
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:46,638
Okay, Ham's works. Great test.
470
00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:48,650
Uh, try to save your flares
for when you need them, bud.
471
00:15:48,674 --> 00:15:51,476
(chuckles): I'll try,
but they're so beautiful.
472
00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,211
Good luck out there,
dear siblings.
473
00:15:53,278 --> 00:15:55,113
Let's go trap a dad.
474
00:15:56,281 --> 00:15:58,850
Sorry. Look how she shines.
475
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,086
♪ ♪
476
00:16:05,991 --> 00:16:07,326
Headed right for the river.
477
00:16:07,392 --> 00:16:11,129
You may be "sexi,"
but you're not smart.
478
00:16:11,196 --> 00:16:13,932
‐(wind whistling) ‐Kathleen.
479
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,368
(screams)
480
00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:18,470
Aah! Oh, my God! Broken foot.
481
00:16:18,537 --> 00:16:21,073
That's okay.
I can push through this.
482
00:16:21,139 --> 00:16:24,042
(screams)
Nope. No, that is Alaska broken.
483
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,410
(grunts)
Well,
484
00:16:25,477 --> 00:16:28,180
time to sit down
and await my death.
485
00:16:28,246 --> 00:16:30,482
(sighs) Damn it, Kathleen.
I've got to know.
486
00:16:30,549 --> 00:16:32,617
Are you ever coming back to me?
487
00:16:32,684 --> 00:16:34,653
Just‐just give me a sign.
488
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,188
Okay.
489
00:16:36,254 --> 00:16:38,623
That was definitely a sign.
But was it a yes or no?
490
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:41,927
Let's do this. If I should
keep hoping you'll come back,
491
00:16:41,993 --> 00:16:43,729
then send up another flare.
492
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:47,999
Uh, I'll‐I'll just wait
a little bit longer.
493
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:50,902
Okay. There's my dad's
494
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:54,306
signature super long stride,
and he was probably following
495
00:16:54,373 --> 00:16:56,675
these moose...
(gasps) Oh, my God! Dad!
496
00:16:56,742 --> 00:16:58,243
- Judy?
- Are you hurt?
497
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:01,613
Yep, I'm hurt, and I'm stuck.
So just get out of here
498
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,983
and go and live a full
and productive life without me.
499
00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:06,885
What? No, Dad. I'm just going
500
00:17:06,952 --> 00:17:08,296
to shoot off this flare
to get help.
501
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,621
Then I'm going to go live
502
00:17:09,688 --> 00:17:11,323
a full
and productive life with you.
503
00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,291
(screams)
Sorry. Lost focus.
504
00:17:13,358 --> 00:17:15,927
Man, this family
is not good at flares.
505
00:17:19,731 --> 00:17:21,900
Just leave me here, Judy.
I have a broken foot
506
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,176
and a broken heart,
and my one job
507
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:27,512
was to keep my family together,
and I couldn't even do it.
508
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:29,181
I lost your mom, and then I lost
509
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,149
her hair extensions
and her fur bikini.
510
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,987
So, go and tell everyone
I died doing what I loved:
511
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:36,088
being your dad.
512
00:17:36,154 --> 00:17:38,257
No, the others
will be here any minute.
513
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,825
I'm not leaving you.
514
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,628
Oh, please. You'll all leave me
sooner or later.
515
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:44,196
Dad.
(screams)
516
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,265
‐(grunts)
‐Damn it, Judy. What have I told you
517
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:49,601
about getting into a steeply
embanked ice chasm voluntarily?
518
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:50,769
- Not to do it.
- Right.
519
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,005
Dad, we know Mom's not dead.
520
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,373
But you didn't lose her.
521
00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:57,409
She left, and it's not
because of something you did
522
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,477
or something we did.
523
00:17:58,543 --> 00:18:00,345
She just... wanted to leave.
524
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,881
I don't... I don't know
what you're talking about.
525
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:06,518
She's in Pennsyl...
Pennsylvania.
526
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,986
There is no Pencil Heaven.
527
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,988
But if there was,
do you think they would be
528
00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:12,024
in their little stub version
or their full form?
529
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,492
Full form. No question.
530
00:18:13,558 --> 00:18:14,826
‐(crying) ‐Dad, listen.
531
00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:16,628
We don't want to run away.
532
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,130
We love being on the boat.
533
00:18:18,196 --> 00:18:20,299
We just love other places, too,
and other things,
534
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:22,901
and that's normal.
You don't have to let us go.
535
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,971
- I just have to let you pursue
outside interests. - Grow.
536
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,540
Oh, I‐I went
for the rhyme there.
537
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,817
- But... (chuckles) Yeah.
- WOLF: Dad!
538
00:18:29,841 --> 00:18:31,643
- Judy!
- Dad's foot is broken!
539
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,512
Regular broken or Alaska broken?
540
00:18:33,578 --> 00:18:34,780
Alaska broken.
541
00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:36,415
- We got to boost him up.
- Copy that.
542
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:39,284
Ham, you stay up here and pull.
Honeybee, you're with me.
543
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:40,385
You bet I am, babe.
544
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,520
Okay, everybody.
545
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:43,255
Let's hoist this beefy boy.
546
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,057
- (all grunting)
- BEEF: Steady.
547
00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:47,359
- (grunts)
- WOLF: Moose! - (all scream)
548
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,194
My beautiful pants!
549
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:52,030
Okay, don't worry, everybody.
A moose isn't gonna charge
550
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,399
into a steeply embanked
ice chasm voluntarily.
551
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,767
- Oh, my God!
- (bellows)
552
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,314
(grunts)
Remember your training, Moon.
553
00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:01,473
Oh, I hope I'm not making
a huge "moose‐stake."
554
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,784
What is it with this guy?
(grunts)
555
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,810
He's like my‐my Moby Dick or...
Ow!
556
00:19:04,876 --> 00:19:06,878
I'm‐I'm his Moby Dick?
I'm realizing
557
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:10,515
- I never actually read it.
- (shouts)
558
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:14,319
I got Mom's bikini!
559
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:16,355
(chuckles):
Moon! You saved us!
560
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,757
I told you I could ride a moose.
561
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,125
BEEF:
Children,
562
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,728
I, uh, I'm sorry
I spent so many years
563
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:25,030
pretending your mother
was eaten by a bear.
564
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,934
I guess in retrospect,
I was going through something.
565
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,636
- It's okay, Dad.
- Hey, it was fun while it lasted.
566
00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:33,171
This was your mom's
goodbye letter.
567
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,774
I never read it because
I didn't want it to be real,
568
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,642
but I'm gonna read it now.
569
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,978
Oh. It just says,
"Smell you later."
570
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,481
And there's a drawing
of either a middle finger
571
00:19:42,547 --> 00:19:43,882
or a penis under it.
572
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,984
I think it's a hand
with penis fingers.
573
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,051
Hey, you're right.
574
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:49,855
And, so,
we are gathered here today
575
00:19:49,921 --> 00:19:52,891
to consecrate this goodbye note
and fur bikini.
576
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,794
- And may Kathleen
and her lover... - Marcus.
577
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,963
Sorry. I only know his name
because they keep a blog.
578
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,499
It's about stores that won't
chase you if you shoplift.
579
00:20:00,565 --> 00:20:01,843
It's called Pittsburgh Stealers.
580
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:06,071
Well, may she and Marcus
be happy... ish.
581
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,572
I guess. Or whatever.
582
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:09,107
- Please come back, Kathy.
- Dad.
583
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:10,509
- Kidding.
- Were you?
584
00:20:10,575 --> 00:20:12,844
No. But I'll get there. Maybe.
585
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,814
So, if you're okay
with Mom being in Pennsylvania,
586
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,816
does that mean you're okay
with me and Honeybee
587
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,584
moving into the guest cabin?
588
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,553
You have my blessing.
589
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,823
I just hope a mysterious ghost
doesn't show up
590
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,892
and scare you
back into the house.
591
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:28,894
Dad, please don't dress up
like a ghost
592
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,695
to try to scare us
back into the house.
593
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,164
(chuckles):
I'll try my best.
594
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,800
Now, should we all go in
and finally celebrate
595
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:36,601
our special girl's birthday?
596
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,136
- Dad?
- Yeah, Jude?
597
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:40,972
Um, what about me
and‐and the mall?
598
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:43,108
Of course I want you to work
at the mall, Judy.
599
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,744
I know you've got
your mother's creative side.
600
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,512
She loved Color Me Mine.
601
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,381
She robbed one once.
602
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,849
Thanks, Dad. I love you.
603
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,651
I love you, too, Judy.
604
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:55,287
Now, let's go eat some cake.
605
00:20:55,353 --> 00:20:56,822
(sighs)
606
00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:59,524
Now, that's what I call
diving into life's butthole.
607
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,661
♪ Way up here,you can breathe the air ♪
608
00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:03,829
♪ Catch some fish ♪
609
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,997
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
610
00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:06,932
♪ Wow ♪
611
00:21:06,998 --> 00:21:09,801
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
612
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:11,670
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
613
00:21:11,736 --> 00:21:13,271
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
614
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:14,806
♪ From longest nightto longest day ♪
615
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,475
♪ In the Great North ♪
616
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,810
HAM: Ooh, I like the part
where we say "Hup."
617
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:21,813
♪ The Great North ♪
618
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,782
♪ Oh, yeah, hut, whoo ♪
619
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,250
♪ Hup, oh ♪
620
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,018
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Whoo ♪
621
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:27,953
♪ Oh ♪
622
00:21:28,019 --> 00:21:30,222
♪ The Great North. ♪
623
00:21:30,272 --> 00:21:34,822
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