All language subtitles for Marry.Me.This.Christmas.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

(children giggling)
("Amazing Grace" instrumental)

Hey, y'all got any food?

Woman:
I'm so sorry.

Anything?
- Not today, sorry.

Excuse me, miss,

you need any help
around the house?

Any work? I can do
all sorts of work.

Hey my brother,

you got any, you got
any change, bro?

Just like a little bit?

Excuse me brother man,
you can help a brother out?

I'm sorry.
-Andre Swan?

Maybe later.
-Hey!

Do you mind lending
me your arm?

I get so clumsy walking
in these heels.

I was so sorry to hear about
you and Mandy breaking up.

You poor baby.

Hey, excuse me, can
y'all spare anything?

Any food? Any change?

Whatever y'all got.

(church bells ringing)

Some people have no manners.

Some people have no manners.

Relax, Timothy.

Was he in some
horrible car wreck?

Legs broken and
fingers all mangled

like a bowl
of spaghetti?

'Cause that's his
only excuse for
not calling.

He will be here.

Have a little faith.

Hmm.

Mmm mmm mmm.

Your slowpoke drivin'!

Hey, Mama.
-I could have walked quicker.

And now, I'm gonna have
to sit in the back

which you know I hate.

You just hate not
showing off your
hats, Mama.

Darryl?

Darryl?
-Yeah, baby!

You got my purse?

Yeah baby,
you want me to-

No, I don't
want you to.

I'm over here
looking like a
stuff eggplant.

The least you
can do is hold
my purse.

Yeah, baby.

I like sittin' up
front 'cause I get
to show you off.

Oh, you.

I don't mean to
disturb y'all,
but uh-

Angela:
Pops, wait up.

Your cane!

Vera:
Who said he needed
that old thing?

Um, his doctors.

And I have your pills

and if you get tired,
just let me know

and I'll fix you
something to eat.

Oh, you've been
back two weeks,

and you're babying
him already.

Pops:
Thank you, Angela baby.

Thank you so much.

Here you go.

But watch out
for the lions,

they bite.

Hey, man.

This is my beat.

Hey, I'll be gone in
like 60 seconds, I swear.

I'm watching you.

Well, that's it.

He's impossibly late.

All right, Hazel,

fire up that organ.

I guess I'm goin' on.

You'll have to do
the sermon too.

I know, Timothy.

You got this, baby.

* He's got the whole world

* In His hands

* He's got the
whole wide world

* In His hands

* He's got the whole world

* In His hands

* He's got the whole
world in His hands

* He's got the whole
world in His hands *

(congregation clapping)

Amen!

Hallelujah, and welcome
y'all to the house of God.

Amen!

Amen!
- Amen.

Amen to you too, brother.

As you know,

the time for my
retirement draws nigh.

(congregation murmuring)

Rev. Treadgold:
To every season,

the board and I have identified
my prospective replacement,

a caring, energetic
young pastor

who's supposed to be here,

but seems to have caught
himself in traffic.

Excuse me, mind
if I sit here?

First reading?

Go on, get up.

Scruffy Man:
'Cause it's open, right?

Nope?

Hey my brother,
can I just scoot in-

Thank you, baby.

Hey my man, can I
sit for the church-

First reading's
from Psalm 25.

Remember Lord, your tender
mercies and your loving kindness

for they are eternal.

Excuse me, mind if
I just sit there?

Darryl:
Remember not my
youthful transgressions-

but remember me
in light of your-
- What about right here?

You sure you're in
the right place?

This is church,
ain't it?

Deacon Jones:
Then would you
please find a seat?

I'm trying, brother.

They've got no
room at the inn.

Darryl:
Therefore, uh-

Hallelujah!

Can I get an amen, y'all?

Amen!
-Amen!

That's enough.

Now, praising God is
all very well and good,

but for heaven sake,
not in a church!

Please, follow
me to the back.

No!

(shocked murmuring)

I got something to say.

Uh oh.

Scruffy Man:
Now one Sunday,

way over in Tannaville

when I was about yay-high,

we was all sittin' in church,

just like some of y'all
is doin' right now.

And who strolls in?

But this homeless brother.

He looking all
scraggly and stanky.

And this brother,

he looking for food, right?

And he's looking for work.

(whispering) Oh I
think I get it.

What?

Scruffy Man:
And wasn't nobody
giving him nothing.

Matter of fact, there
was this one little boy,

he booed him.

And then about halfway
through the service,

the homeless man revealed
his true identity.

(choir members gasping)

He was a pastor from
a visiting church.

(stammering) We were ashamed,

'cause we treated this
homeless brother so bad.

Me most of all.
- Come sit down.

Scruffy Man:
But I was also inspired
'cause I realized

there's opportunity
for change everywhere.

In other words,

it ain't all about you.

My name is Daniel English

and I hope to be
your new pastor.

You gotta be kidding me.

Daniel:
Now, hold on,
hold on, hold on.

Before you condemn
my theatrics,

that pastor in disguise?

That was none other
than my mentor,

Reverend John Treadgold.

(congregation murmuring)

Daniel:
And that little
boy who booed?

Yeah, that was me.

Listen, I'm not perfect y'all,

but I believe that
love is service,

and I promise to
serve this community

with all my heart.

(Pops claps)

(congregation clapping)

Amen.

(inspirational music)

All right, see
y'all next week.

Come back please,
please come back,

come back y'all.

Well done, son.

Thank y'all for coming.

Shana, right?
-Yeah.

Yeah, I went to high school
with Angela.

You wouldn't remember me,
I was two grades-

Danny English?

Yeah, everybody remembers
Daniel English.

You pretty much
ran that school.

Talked me into
missing Thanksgiving

to feed the homeless, twice.

Daniel:
Yeah, and I see you still
haven't kicked the habit.

Wait, so are you a
preacher or homeless?

Or a homeless preacher?
(chuckles)

He was playin',

just like you play
at barbecuing.

Let's go.

My feet are killing me.

(upbeat music)

Rev. Treadgold:
I couldn't have done
it better myself

In fact, I didn't
do it better.

Well I'm just
glad it worked.

Not sure Deacon Jones
is a fan though.

Ah, don't sweat Timothy.

He's a good man but he's
a bit of a stickler.

So,

kitchen straight ahead,

stairs to your apartment
through those doors

and these are our offices.

Mrs. Ramirez,

meet Pastor Daniel English.

Hi.
- Hi.

This place would
grind to a halt

if it wasn't for Mrs. R.

Oh you and your wondelfluff.

And our lay director,
Deacon Timothy Jones.

Deacon Jones,
back on D!

Rams defensive end?

NFL Hall of Famer?

Never heard of him.

Not a football fan, noted.

Anyway, I'm sorry about the
whole pastor-in-disguise thing-

No, no, no, no.

That's all me.

I insisted no one know
except for me and Hazel.

If I was able to play a
small part in today's lesson,

I'm glad.

Daniel:
Well, it won't happen again,

'cause I'm all out
of disgusting pants.

Mm.

Well,

your office.

Great, thank you, John.

Reverend, regarding my
memo about a dress code?

I would like a word.

Talk to him.

He's in charge now.

Ah, dress code?

(upbeat music)

Daniel:
Mrs. Ramirez?

What do you say we get
this party started, huh?

Well, I'm afraid you
have just a trevocious day

in front of you,
Pastor Daniel.

Oh, you have a meeting with
the Sunday school teacher.

Okay.

Oh, and you have
an interview

with a possible
music director.

Oh, and you have an AA
meeting in the conference room

with one Benny Nugent.

Oh! Forget I said that.

I know, I know.

It is supposed
to be anonymous.

Way trevocious.

Oh, and you have
26 lunch requests,

including three from one,
Jan Find-Me-a-Man McCann.

Jan who?

Oh, that's just what
we call Jan McCann.

I mean she is lovely.

She's just a little
bit finucular.

Contelptuous.

Rambortly.

Ram, okay, you know,

tell Jan
Miss-Can't-Find-a-Man McCann

that lunch must
be replanned.

(playful music)

*

Eyes off my cookies.

(playful music)

I was not looking.

(soft uptempo music)

*

*

*

Daniel:
Mrs. Ramirez, can we
please request a coffee maker

at our next
budget meeting?

The spirit is willing
but the flesh is weak.

Oh dear!

You look like somethin' the cat
dragged through a marathon.

Shall I cancel your next-

No, no, no, no, don't cancel.

What's next?

Mrs. Ramirez:
Well, you got a call with
the building inspector,

oh, next week's
readings to select.

Deacon Jones wants to
talk you about the daycare

and an Angela Reed
is here to see you.

Angela?

In there.

I think she's still there.

Angela Reed.

It feels like it
was just yesterday.

Wait, it was.

Please sit down,
sit down.

And if it's about the cookies,
you can't have 'em.

I'm saving 'em.

Why?

You were like the only one

who even acknowledged
my existence.

They're like my new
symbol of hope.

Matter of fact, I might
get 'em glazed in bronze.

(Angela crying)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Here, no, no, you can
eat all my cookies.

I'm sorry, this is
so embarrassing.

No, no, no, no.

Embarrassing is that
kid doing magic tricks

at the school play who
fell off the stage.

That was you.

That's even
more embarrassing.

Take your time,
take your time.

Okay, now deep breath.

And hit me.

(Angela exhales)

It's my dad.
He's unwell.

Yeah, I saw the cane.

Angela:
It's cancer in
his back and hips.

He was treated two years ago
for a tumour in his lungs,

but now-

It's metastasized?

He doesn't want chemo.

Radiation?

How's his spirits?

He puts on a brave face,

very stoic and all but,

I just know he's so
disappointed it came back.

The whole family's
pretending everything's fine.

My mom's in denial,

Shana's busy with
her own family,

I didn't know where
else to turn.

Then seeing you...

You know, I have an idea.

You do?
-Yeah.

I'm not just some dude
in a weird shirt.

I have a Masters in Family
and Marriage Counselling,

I've been doing
this for years.

So how about we start

with me coming over for
a family lunch tomorrow?

Oh.
-Say noon?

Okay, lunch.
-Yeah?

Okay, good.

* Shorty said you need
a patience in relations

* Mans can't be no
waste man in relations

* Gotta build it
from the base, man

* If you never want
that imitation, right

* I just told her that I'm
trying to run the bases

(sniffs)

* That's a home

You all right there?

Yeah.

I'm just smelling these.

(sniffs)

Don't worry,
they're not for you.

I mean, they're for your mom.

Coming in your house.

Yeah.
-All right.

Y'all remember
Pastor English?

Hey, everybody.

Mr. Homeless.

Daniel:
And please,
call me Daniel.

No, no, Mr. Reed,
don't get up.

Call me Pops,
everybody does.

Daniel:
Mrs. Reed,

these are for you.

Vera:
Ooh, aren't you sweet?

Shana, you're huge.

When's the due date?

Not soon enough.
(laughs)

Angela:
Shana's husband, Darryl.

He's a dentist if
you're ever in need.

Just so you know,
I hate goin' to church.

I only go 'cause
I'm dragged.

Daniel:
Well now you know how I feel
about going to the dentist.

(Darryl laughing)

Daniel:
No I'm serious, I,

I really don't
like the dentist.

Uh huh.

Anyway, you have
a beautiful home.

You know, "A room
without books

"is like a body without a soul,"
somebody once said.

Pops:
Cicero.

32 years high school Lit.

But I prefer,

"Knowledge makes a man
unfit to be a slave."

Frederick Douglass.

Pops:
Mm, somebody got
a A in English.

Oh Daniel, you think you
might baptize Shana's baby?

Oh I love kids,
say no more.

Y'all think about godparents?

Darryl:
Angela for sure and
we were gonna ask Monty.

Ah, who-who's Monty?

Just a guy I used to date.

Angela's ex.

Like ex-boyfriend, ex?

Shana:
Let's eat already,
hmm, I'm starving.

Okay.

Darryl?
-Yeah, baby?

Help me up.

Oh.

Jelly, come help
me with the salad.

Yeah I'm coming.
-Ah, Mrs. Reed?

How can I help?

You know,
I live to serve.

You can keep the
old man company.

That's work enough.

I heard that.

Vera:
Ah.

Shana:
Darryl, get in this kitchen.

Darryl:
Yeah, baby.

Pops, I, uh,

I hear you're a bit
under the weather.

Pops:
Son, I know why
you're here,

and I would like your help.

Help me plan my funeral.

Wait, what?

Look, my wife may
be fooling herself,

but I'm not.

And Angie,

she always trying
to fix things.

And I won't make it worse
for her with foolishness.

Okay, Pops,
Pops, hold on.

We're not built
like that, okay?

We're fighters.

You ever hear the quote,

"If you run into a wall,
don't turn around and give up.

"Figure out a
way to climb it,

"work around it or
go through it."

Harriet Tubman?

Michael Jordan.

(Pops laughing)

Let's make a deal.

Preachers make deals?

All the time.

How you think I got this job?

How about you fight.

For them.

'Cause they need you,

and they need you
to be strong.

And all this talk about
planning funerals,

we're gonna put
that on hold, okay?

Deal?

Let's do it.

All right.

Lunch is ready.

All right, let's eat.

Vera:
Pastor Daniel,
care to say grace?

Hmm.

Daniel:
Heavenly Father,

bless this food and this
very special family.

As we approach the
holiday season,

thinking of Mary,
Joseph and Baby Jesus,

we're reminded that
love is family, Amen.

(in unison) Amen.

Pops:
So Daniel, is there
a Mrs. Pastor?

You got a honey in
Charlottesville?

Pops!

We ain't Catholic!

No sir.

You finished high school,

you became a preacher.

What happened in between?

College in New Hampshire,

Peace Corps in New Guinea,

and Seminary in New Jersey.

And three years assistant
chaplain at UVA.

And now you're a pastor
back in your hometown.

No, a provisional pastor.

There's a trial period before
the Reverend retires so,

assuming I don't screw up,
(chuckles)

the gig is mine January 1st.

Angie just moved
back herself.

The minute that she
got her VP stripes

at Kelley Bank & Trust,

she quits to start
this non-profit.

It's really a non-profit
to help non-profits.

See, a lot of folks
wanna get involved,

but don't know
where to start.

My idea is to link would-be
volunteers with charities

through corporate
volunteerism initiatives.

If it works,
it'll be a win-win-

Win.
Angela: Win.

Yeah, it's brilliant.

And those big
companies should pay

a pretty hefty
consultant fee.

Yeah.

If you need any help,
let me know.

Matter of fact,
let's make a toast.

(glasses clinking)
(family laughing)

Cheers.

(upbeat music)

*

Angela:
Pops hasn't been that
lively there in weeks.

What did you say
to him anyway?

Oh we just, you know,
talked about basketball.

Well, whatever you said, thanks.

Speaking of food,

I heard your fellow schemer
friend from high school

is now head chef at
some fancy restaurant.

Kadeem?
- Yeah.

Kadeem Standish?

Yeah, you should
look him up.

Okay, I will, tha-

Hold on a second, schemer?

Yeah, schemer.

Aways talking somebody
into something.

Oh, you still mad

because I made you miss
Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey with cranberry sauce
and gravy is my favourite meal.

I die before you, St. Peter,
do not let her in.

So who's here?

Pastor Daniel or Danny English
from Luther Lee High?

Do I have to choose?

No, no, it's just,

sometimes when you talk...

I got a plan-
- We should do this again.

You do?

I think I can help.

I wanna talk to your dad,
and your mom,

but like not all formal
counselling, more casual?

With your blessing.

Daniel, consider
yourself blessed.

(upbeat music)

* I wanna be with you

* You wanna be with me too

* You want me
to like sequel

* Girl I, girl I

* I wanna be with you

* If you want to
be with me too

* Then don't study
about what she do

* Don't I, don't I

* Always I look for you

* Always I check for you

* Always I look
and that's why

* Girl I, girl I

* I wanna be with you

* You wanna be
with me too

* You want me to
like sequel *

(Shana and Darryl screaming)

* Yeah, its been a while

* Since the last
time I saw you

* And I've seen your smile

Excuse me, can I
talk to the manager?

Kadeem:
Daniel?

Oh, my main man
of the cloth.

Kadeem Standish.

What's up?

You looking good.

Except for the
hair loss and extra weight,

all them wrinkles
on your face.

And you, you're a head chef?
-Yeah.

I'm calling the FDA now
and the EPA and the FCC,

I'm calling everybody.

I guess you don't
want none of my

linguine bolognese then, huh?

Okay.

Man, you got a nice
place here, man.

You know, I was thinking,

you remember that food drive
we did back in 10th grade?

Mm.

Daniel:
What if I take all the extra
food that y'all throw out

and bring it down to
the homeless shelter?

You could set me up?

Kadeem:
My man!

You smart, man,
you smart.

(soft jazz music)

Mmm.

Mhm.

It's not bad for
an atheist, huh?

(Daniel chuckles)

So how long these
gigs last for?

Like two, three years?

As pastor?

I may never leave.

Hey, beautiful town,
nice folks,

mediocre pasta.

Well just welcome back then,
all right?

Hey, you seeing anybody?

Yeah, yeah, I ran into
this one girl, Angela.

Angela Reed?
- Angela Reed.

Smart, super cute,
dad is a teacher?

Yeah, he's um,

he's not well right now

so I've been helping
out as their pastor.

Also, I have a
huge crush on her.

Oooh!

Return of the Mac!

(Kadeem laughs)

Hey, bring her through.

I mean, I'll make y'all a
special romantic dinner.

Nah, she doesn't know.

At least I don't
think she does.

Well, didn't you
bust a move?

Bust a move?

Kadeem, I'm going to
chemo with her dad,

I'm counselling
their whole family.

I can't-
-Ask her out?

No!

She's just like awesome,
beautiful woman

who came to me at her
most vulnerable moment.

I can't cross that line.

If you're not
gonna bust a move,

at least just talk to her.

I mean, it's century 21, dawg.

Women dig that stuff,
supposedly.

I will.

I've gotta wait for
the right time.

Well don't wait too long.

Know what they say?

Spooners better
than ladle, right?

Spooner, ladle.

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Shana:
Darryl, the door.

The turkey will
be there tomorrow.

Here you go, baby.

Shana:
Thank you.

Darryl:
Here we go.

(Angela screams)

Angela:
Baby Katherine.

(whispering) In the house.
- Shhhhh!

Happy Thanksgiving, Jelly.

Angela:
Happy Thanksgiving!

Aww, isn't she the most
adorable thing in the world?

Shana:
You're sweet.

I swear she added
five years to Pops life.

(baby cooing)

Have you told
Monty about her?

Monty?
-Mhm.

No, why would I?

Oh.

I don't know,

I just thought maybe
he should know.

I mean, they were
pretty close.

Yeah, maybe I should.

Darryl, get in the kitchen.

I'm hungry, I didn't have-

You're always hungry.
Come on.

Darryl:
I'm just take this
for the road though-

What-

Just for the road.

What, where you going?

Isn't Daniel coming?

Nah, he's helping out
at his shelter all day.

Shana:
Y'all cozy I noticed.

Any late night smooching
behind the church?

No!

Not yet, I mean.
-Mhm.

Whatcha waiting for?

(baby cooing)

Hey.

We missed you yesterday.

Sorry, sorry, I got cornered
by Deacon Jones, again.

Turkey with cranberry sauce
and stuffing.

What, my favourite.
-My favourite.

Yeah.

What's with you and
this park anyways?

It's like your
third time here.

Pops and I used to come
here when I was a kid.

Just me and him.

Might be my favourite
place in the world.

Yeah, plus everyone
needs a little push

every now and then, right?

Yeah, speaking of which.
-Uh huh.

Angela:
You've been so generous
with your time and attention.

All the affection you've
given me and my family.

So, I was wondering,

would you do that
for any family or?

Yes!
- Is it something
special for us or-

No.

Both.

I don't know,
what's the question?

No, no, I'm-I'm just
tryna get a sense of-

Angela I mean,
I like you.

I do.

And your whole family.

And you, its just,

I don't want you to think
I'm taking advantage or-

Angela:
No, no, that-that's not
what I'm saying at all.

Because I got
this duty, right?

I got this calling
that comes first.

I mean, what kind of pastor
would I be if I didn't.

I-I see.

But that doesn't mean
I don't have feelings.

'Cause I do.

I mean, what kind of man
would I be if I didn't.

And those feelings...

Are big, big feelings.

Amazing feelings,
new feelings.

But I can't just
act on them, right?

I mean, what kind of
man would I be if I did?

Okay.

You-you have feelings but-
-Uh huh.

I mean, it's not easy
wearing this collar.

No, 'cause that means somebody
else will just step up.

So you, um-

Your-your hands are tied

so somebody else is just
gonna get there first.

Right. Yes.

Okay, um, I
understand I think.

Yeah, well-

I gotta go.
-Okay.

You know, Pops big
check-up and all.

Right, right.

Angela, um-

Yeah?

Thanks, for lunch.

Uh huh.

Thanks for lunch?

(Daniel sighs)

Angela:
It's one little test,
it's no big deal.

Pops:
I know, I know.
I just,

"Leukocytes,

"13,500."

Okay, it's high but
it's not that high.

Tea.

You want some tea?

Imma make you a nice
pot of green tea.

Ah...

Okay, it didn't shrink but
at least it's not growing.

I should have
been an engineer.

Other folks leave their kids
houses, trust funds (laughs).

And all you get
is my golf clubs.

Stop.

I don't want your golf clubs.

Good, 'cause I
lost my six iron.

You're gonna live
to a hundred, okay?

All the things
I wanted to do.

Travel with your mother,

walk you down the aisle,

play with my grandkids.

Life is so short, Angie.

(Pops laughs)
(table banging)

But don't worry,
I'm a fighter.

And I ain't giving up.

Just,

find what makes you happy.

Will you do that for me?

Pops?

(sombre music)

*

*

Hey.

I need to see you.

(festive Christmas music)

*

Mrs. Ramirez:
Well, the programs
for the Christmas play

do need your approval.

We still haven't set a lunch
with Jan Find-Me-a-Man McCann,

and your mother sent you
this defraulable sweater.

Oh thanks.

Oh, you are most welcome.

Now I'm gonna to go home,
right after I tinkle.

Night!
-TMI Mrs. R.

TMI.

The door is always
open Mrs. R...

Angela, hey.

Angela:
Hope I'm not disturbing.

No, no, not at all.

How is Pops?

MRI shows no shrinkage

and his white blood cell
count spiked.

Oh, that's not great.

Yeah.

Daniel:
But it's to be expected.

And he's a champ, so.

Angela:
Look, I've got a question.

About the other day, oh.

(Daniel stammers)

You go-

You go first. It's alright.
-Okay, um.

Okay well,
first of all,

thank you again
for everything.

Oh, it's my pleasure.
For real.

Angela:
Yeah, you've been
so great, Daniel.

Uh huh.

Like really.

And then, we've been spending
all this time together,

you and me, and-

I'm such a fan.

I feel so close to you.

Yeah,

me too,

to you.

So I've been thinking
a lot lately and,

I have this question and its
gonna sound all of a sudden,

but I'm just gonna
come out and say it.

Okay.

Daniel,
-Uh huh?

Will you marry me?

Daniel:
Huh?

Ah...

Oh.

Wow. I-I don't
know what to say.

Of course I know
what to say.

Uh, yes, this is
incredible, yes!

Okay, my fiancé
will be thrilled.

Huh?

Yeah,

my fiancé.

(dramatic beat)

Fiancé?

Yeah, Monty.

Monty Fassbeck,

the on-again
off-again boyfriend?

Oh no, I remember off-again.

Yeah, off-again.

We got to talking
and boom!

Ah, boom!

We got engaged.

Okay, Monty Back-Fest.

You want me to marry
you to Monty Back-Fest?

Fassbeck, yeah.

Mm.

Angela:
I mean, you do do weddings,
don't you?

Oh yeah, yeah
I do weddings.

I marry people all the time
to other people, non-stop.

Angela:
I told him how
great you've been

and he-and he thought
it'd be terrific.

Well, that's great.

Terrific. Da bomb.

I don't know,
you seem kind of-

Thrilled, I'm thrilled!

'Cause you're getting married,

it just, you know,
it feels a little fast.

Y'all gonna have like
a long engagement?

Like real long?

No, soon.
Four weeks from now-

Oh, four weeks,
that's fast.

You sure that's a good idea
given your dad's condition?

Daniel, it's because my dad's
sick we're doing it this way.

So,

can I count on you?

Can't wait to meet him.

Great.

(upbeat music)

Daniel:
I did what you said.

You know, I talked to her.

I told her I had feelings,

big feelings, but I also
had this calling so,

somebody else has to step
up because I couldn't.

So, you said that
you're so tight with God

you can't make a move?

Yeah, and then she goes
and gets engaged to Monty.

Kadeem:
I'll be honest:

I think you flat out
rejected her for Jesus.

No, no, no, I chose
my words very carefully.

And then she
goes with Monty?

He's nasty.

You haven't even met him.

I mean, Mr. Cool.

I could take it or leave it.

Well then how come he
didn't just leave it?

I don't know, man,
just give me that.

You know, I could've
made a move,

but I didn't.

And you know why?

I'm a good guy.

Kadeem:
You're a nice guy.

I'm a nice guy.

The best.
-I'm the best guy.

Sadly, nice guys
tend to finish last.

He's all wrong
for her, man.

You know, she's sweet
and kind and charitable.

And she's a worrier,
but she's funny.

And he's like-

He's what?

Bro, he's a banker.

Hey man, my mom's a banker.

My bad.

I mean, if they're
so perfect together,

how come they
keep breaking up?

You're always saying
"It ain't about you."

So just go meet the brother.

Maybe he's right for her,
maybe you'll love him.

(mimicking Kadeem)

(festive Christmas music)

Monty:
Why are we meeting
this guy again?

He's our pastor
and a friend.

You're friends
with your pastor?

Ain't that kinda weird?

Be nice, I told you
he's been great.

Fine, what's his name again?

Daniel English.

Monty:
Monty Fassbeck,
nice to meet you.

Come on in,
come on in.

Please take a seat and
congratulations all 'round.

Thank you.
-Thanks.

It's been a tough time

but we're making the best
of it, right, honey?

Oh yeah, timing.

Timing is everything.

Gets you every time,
that time...

Anyway, that's why
I'm here to help.

'Cause I want you-

Daniel.
-Uh huh?

Can I call you Daniel?

I feel like you a
friend of the family.

I just wanna say thanks
for taking care of Pops.

Ah.

Angela's been singing
your praises.

That's me.

Just a good old friend
- Hm.

of the family.

So I hear you guys took
some time off, huh?

On a little break
as they say?

Look, sometimes life
kicks you in the as-

Not in here, buddy.

(all laugh)

Monty: Ankle.
-Okay.

And wakes you up.

Plus, at a certain point you
can't stay single forever.

Daniel:
Right, right, so you guys
were broken up, right?

Going your separate ways
for the rest of your life-

Daniel, let's concentrate
on the wedding, 'kay?

Just want my girl
to be happy.

Yeah, me too.

Both of you to be happy
'cause marriage is happy.

Okay. Babe?

Angela:
Thank you, Daniel.

All right, y'all
get home safe.

Can't wait for
the next one.

(gloomy music)

*

Hey.

Hey, your name is
Crenshaw, right?

What, man, I'm not
hurting nobody.

Hey, I'm not trying
to chase you away.

I just, I wanna
give you a sweater.

It's hideous.

Hey Crenshaw, let me
ask you a question.

Mhm?

You ever been in love?

Why?

What do you care?

But I have.

It's brutal.

You want this?
I'm not hungry.

There was this girl,
a parishioner,

we've been spending all
this time together and-

Her name was Jules.

She was a dancer.

Hm.

I wanted to get married
and move to the Poconos.

She had this dream
about making it big,

in Reno.

I let her go.

Didn't fight, I just-

Biggest mistake of my life.

You?

The girl I'm in love with
just got engaged to another man.

Ouch.

A nice enough guy but,
just feels wrong.

Do you love her?

You gotta fight for her.

Fight for her?

Crenshaw:
You wanna end up like me?

No.
- No.

I mean, can I fight
for her though?

Crenshaw:
Man, if love ain't worth
fighting for, what is?

What is?

Fight for her.

I don't even know how.

Okay well,

look your doing the whole
ceremony thing, ain't ya?

Daniel:
Mhm.

Crenshaw:
Okay, you just gotta show
'em that they're a bad match.

What you gotta lose, man?

Not a blessed thing.

Mhm.

Thank you, Crenshaw.

You wanna thank me,
how 'bout some salsa?

Preacher? Yo!

Pico de galla
wouldn't kill ya

to put a little
pico de gallo on this?

(festive Christmas music)

Deacon Jones:
I like music as
much as anyone,

but we need to spend money
where it'll be most effective.

Daniel:
Mrs. R, have you
seen my blue binder?

Deacon Jones:
Pastor, nice of
you to join us.

We were discussing the
budget shortfall of $5,500.

Now, when we retire,

you're gonna need to
hire a new organist.

And Timothy's plans for the
new daycare has already been-

Approved by the board and
we simply cannot afford both.

Where is it?
-Excuse me?

Ah, yes.

John, you're moving
to Nashville, right?

Why? To be close
to your grandkids.

Can we please focus on-

Don't spend money
on daycare.

This church is full of
wonderful grandparents

who would love to
take care of children

and working folks
for nothing.

Well, it's a little
more complicated-

Daniel:
No, it's not.

We did it at my last church,
it worked out great.

Hazel:
So we can afford to hire
an organist after all?

Daniel:
We don't have to
hire anybody.

That's a Rodgers 535
Digital organ,

a top-notch instrument.

Folks would kill to play that,
am I right Hazel?

Yeah.

Daniel:
Okay, so let's track down
some local instructors,

let them use our organ
for free for lessons,

recitals, whatever,

if they agree to play
hymns on Sundays.

Yes? Good? Alright.

I gotta bounce, peace.

(Hazel laughs)

Well, I-I-I guess the-the
meeting is adjourned.

Rev. Treadgold:
Amen to that.

(Reverend chuckles)

Hey, guys.

So, I spoke to the higher-ups

and I was able to get you
the full wedding package.

Yeah, yeah, all the help
you could ever want.

The full monty.

Yeah?

No, not you, bro.

Anyway, um, it's part
of our new program,

the Silver Linings Package.

"Silver Lining"?

As in, "Things are awful but
look on the bright side"?

Yeah, I mean, the name
needs a little work.

Anyway, so it's basically like
the full wedding smorgasbord,

come on, bro, package.

It's like-it's like a
wedding buffet, if you will.

I really think you
guys are gonna love it

cuz I love to plan weddings.

Angela: Oh, that sounds great.
-Yeah.

So, let's start
with the vows.

Traditional or creative?

Uh, standard I guess.
- Oh, I've always wanted

to write my own vows.

More romantic, right?

Daniel:
Let somebody else do it?
That's lame.

Okay, moving on.

Music.

Old hymns or modern?

Um, modern?

Angela:
Oh, I love those old hymns,

"Oh Happy Day",
"Abide with Me".

You gotta keep
it old school.

You know, the organ
playing in the background?

Yeah, it gets me right here.

Fine,"Amazing Grace" it is.

"Amazing Grace", yes.

All right, Monty.

For you, the groomsmen.

Can't Angela do this stuff?

You know, I trust
her judgement.

It's supposed to be
the most incredible day

of your life, bro.

Should matter to ya.

Should matter
to both of you.

So Monty, um, groomsmen.

Aisle or alter?

Honestly, I don't care.

Okay.

He does not care.

All right, let's put
this aside for now

and talk about flowers.

Ugh.

What about roses?

(upbeat music)

*

*

*

(muffled bickering)

Angela:
I want the chocolate cake!

(upbeat music)

I'm going to hell.

Shana:
Wedding plans going good?

Yeah.

Thank god for Daniel.

Thank god for Daniel?

He's amazing.

We're so on the
same wavelength.

Yeah, timing.

Daniel this,
Daniel that.

You still like him!

Shana, I'm jumping the
broom in two weeks.

So? You can still like him.

The question is, do you
like him or like like him?

There's lots of people
you might like in life.

You can't marry them all.

So what if I like him
like him?

Nothing. It's just a
funny thing to say

two weeks before you
jumping the broom.

You got an empty space
there by the way.

Here.

(ominous music)

(suspenseful dramatic music)

*

Daniel:
Well, congratulations.

The wedding planning
is officially done.

Thank-
-You! Daniel, for everything.

Yes, thank you for, uh-

Yeah.

Next, uh, is-

complimentary
marriage counselling.

Yeah, by me.

It's all part of the Silverado
Nuptial Bonanza package.

Wait, we've-we've
dated for three years.

Marriage is work my brother,
even at the best of times.

I mean, look at
the divorce rate.

Plus with your on and
off-again history, Montell,

may I call you Montell?

It's Montgomery,
so no.

We insist.

Um, children?

Yeah, we both want kids-

I mean, how many
you got, bro?

That you know of?

Is that really on the form?

Can I see that?
-No, sorry.

None.

None.

Daniel:
No kids.

That he knows of.

Moving right along.

Now, if we're
talking about kids,

is Angela gonna stay home?

No.
-Yes.

Oh snap.

Angela:
Maybe part-time
for a while,

but I'm definitely
gonna keep working.

Babe, I make plenty of money.

Angela:
That's not the point.

My non-profit is
important to me.

Monty:
Marriage is compromise and
the kids need their mama.

The kids also need to see
their mom is a strong woman,

making a difference.

May I make a suggestion
with respect?

Monty:
Can you not!

With respect.

(knocking)

Daniel:
Oh, ex-

Can you guys hold
on for a second?

I just gotta-

Just your basic stolen
property form,

but if you ask me,

we should keep this whole
211 scandoozle on the DL,

you feel me?

Oh smart.

If word gets out
we lost a tin cup

from Arnold's Discount
Religious Emporium,

all hell's gonna
break loose.

True that.

Oh, also,
Jan McCann Find-Me-a-Man

is almost here.

That's today?

Yeah.

Ah, um-

Could you head
her off for me?

Meaning, could you find her

and make sure she
doesn't get lost?

Okay.

Okay.

Monty:
He's shady.

Angela:
You think maybe he's got
a little crush on me?

(scoffs) Please.

What straight man cares
that much about flowers?

Wow.
-Mhm.

Oh no! No.

Mrs. Ramirez:
Pastor Daniel,
Pastor Daniel!

You remember, Jan McCann
Find-Me-a-Man?

Tee. Manatee, is what I would
like for my Christmas present

this year.

Bye.

Jan, hey, um, this
is Monty Back-Fest.

Fassbeck.

And Angela Reed.

I'm marrying them.

To each other.

Angie?

It's me, Jan McCann
from Luther Lee.

Oh my god, girl,
how you been?

Jan:
So good!

Happily divorced.

And you are getting married?

I love me a wedding.

Okay now.

Ah weddings, yes.
I love weddings too.

Matter of fact,
I'm, uh,

thinking about getting
married myself.

Really?
- Uh huh.

Wait, I thought you
said you were too busy

with work to get married?

Angela, I meant work,

like work, work, work,

work, like Rihanna.

Oh, okay.

When were y'all
two talking about-

I need woman.

Mmm.

Anyway, I gotta go, guys.

Jan and I have some
serious bites on the books.

Take care y'all.
-Mm.

Let's just go.

Jan:
Well, alright.

What's your
favourite vegetable?

I mean, lettuce,
I guess.

Lettuce? Mmm.

It's just water.

We're 99% water so-

My gosh and
you're smart too.

How come we never hooked
up in high school?

Were you one of
those nerdy types,

always in the library?

Ah, I guess so.

I also ran that
lip sync contest,

Students Against Lupus.

Yes, I didn't do it.

But didn't Angela,

you know, go as Pepa
from Salt-N-Pep-

She was Salt, yeah.

They performed
"Shake That Thang"

and got in 2nd place.

She was awesome.

I can't remember who
played Pepa though.

I was in the Drama Club.

Love me some drama.

How's your salad?

(organ music)

(clears throat)
So what'd ya eat?

Did he pay?
Isn't he funny?

Um, Food, Damn straight
and Not much.

Really?

I think he's hysterical.

So what'd y'all talk about?

Me, high school.

You kept popping up.

Really?

Jan:
He's kinda quiet.

Head wrapped up in
churchy stuff I suppose,

so I did most
of the talking.

Sounds like a dud.

No, we're going
out on Thursday.

He's cute.

Why are you asking?

No reason.

You just don't seem
like his type.

Daniel:
Yo yo yo!
Hey everybody.

Good morning.

All right, all right.
Hello, hello.

Okay, Okay.

So, we are here today

to welcome baby Katherine
into our community.

A Holy and sa-

cred, um,

thing.

Passage, rite of passage.

So who stands to, um,
sponsor Katherine today?

We do.

Daniel:
All right, all right.

Monty, why don't
you hold the baby?

(Angela and Monty stammering)

Daniel:
Yeah, why not?

Y'all are family, right?

Don't be shy,
come on.

Make sure you hold
the head, godfather.

Okay, all right.

Daniel:
Yeah, you look
real comfortable.

You know, children are a
natural outcome of marriage.

This is why good
parenting and godparenting

are so important.

She's a baby,
not a cocktail shaker.

It's a sin, really,

to know that one parent
can ruin an entire family.

Matter of fact,

it is the leading
cause of divorce

in the universe.

Really?

Daniel:
Yes, Mr. Stock Broker.

According to the, uh,

Research Institute of,
uh, the Natural-

Paediatric and Family Sciences,

45 million families
are torn apart

because the papa was
an incompetent jerk.

Shh, shh.
(baby crying)

Daniel:
Just, uh, pat her back.
It'll make her burp.

Can't somebody-

Daniel:
This is why godparents
are so important.

So Angela, Monty,

I'm holding you all
personally responsible

for the religious
growth of Katherine.

Easy, Desi Arnaz,

she's not a friggen bongo.

Monty, the name "Katherine" is
honoured because uh, she is the-

(baby Katherine farts)
Holy Mother of God!

Daniel:
No, no, that would be Mary.

It's actually the wife
of Martin Luther.

Somebody needs to go
back to Sunday School.

Monty:
Okay, can somebody please
take this little monster

away from me.

(squirting)
(congregation gasping)

Darryl:
Come to Daddy.

Whoop, there it is, ha.

Well that's a damn shame.

(Katherine giggles)

(upbeat music)

Vera:
Come sit down, baby.

Angela:
Jan, take a picture of
someone else for a change.

Pops:
That's it!

I saw this boy one day
and the look on his grill,

I done busted a gut.

(Pops and Daniel laughing)

Daniel:
Sometimes laughter is
the best medicine, huh?

Amen. Amen.

You all right, Pops?
You need anything?

Never better, darling.
Never better.

We need to talk.

Vera:
Sweetheart, come over
here for a moment.

First off, what's so funny?

There's a little
something called

parishioner-pastor
confidentiality.

Oh.
-I'm sorry.

How's the, uh, godfather?

Changing his shirt.
-Mm.

So you don't think he'll
be much of a daddy, huh?

Me? When did I say that?

Yeah, like you're
some expert.

(soft lullaby music)

(Angela laughs)

Wow, you really are a pro.

You learned that in
divinity school?

Daniel:
The eldest of five siblings.

And I was changing diapers
before I was out of them.

Ha ha.

Daniel:
Okay, there you go.

Goodnight sweet Katherine.

Angela:
Adorable.

Daniel:
Hey,

you wanna make
a baby mobile?

Angela:
Now how could you
possibly know what that is?

Daniel:
Prayer. Plus it's my gift.

Yo, Shana,
you see Angie?

Yeah, she and Daniel went
up to put the baby down.

That boy is a saint.

Saint, huh?

I'm mad at you,
you know.

You are? Why?

You said you had this vocation,
this calling from God.

Next thing I know,
you're going on dates.

Well maybe I saw
what Monty had.

What you and Monty have.

Weasel (clears throat).

It's a squirrel, knucklehead.

So, how's it going?

With Jan, I mean,

if you don't
mind me asking.

Do you think it's serious?

Daniel:
I don't know.

I mean, when did you know if
it was serious with Monty?

Not sure.

Not sure it's serious now.

Well, he put a
ring on it, so.

You just don't like bankers.

I used to be a banker,
you know?

I know, I love bankers.

You should hang out with him.

He's a really good guy.

Yeah, and is that why
you're marrying him?

Yeah, he's smart,
works hard.

He goes for it,
you know?

Hmm.

Women's lib,
21st century or not,

a brother still
has to step it up.

Angela, I just want you

to be happy.

That's all.

You ever think about
taking off that collar

and just saying
what you mean?

Darryl:
Yo, Monty wants
to see you now.

Daniel:
Now, huh?

Monty:
Yo Danny-boy,

I realize b-ball
is too low brow

for a high minded
pastor like you,

but we need a fourth.

Monty:
Oh.

Woo!

Daniel:
Don't let the
collar fool you.

Okay, it's on preacher.

You in my church now.

All right, let's play twos,
let's play twos!

(upbeat funky music)

*

Monty:
Play deep, play deep.

Darryl:
I'm open, I'm open.

Pass me the rock.
Pass me the rock.

I'm open, pass me the rock.

What's up?

Darryl:
I'm open.

That's what I'm
talking about.

You wanna play, huh?

All right.

All right, lets do it.
-Ready?

Okay.

(upbeat funky music)

Woo!

Monty:
Woo!

Go Monty!

What's up?

(lively music)

Okay, come with it.
All right.

(lively music)

Okay, I see.

(lively music)

*

Angela:
Come on, Monty.

You got this.

Shana:
Go Monty, let's go.

I'm neutral.

Wassup, man?

(dramatic beat)

(Monty groaning)

Boo-yah! Tie game!

That's a foul,
wasn't it?

Monty:
Foul?

You really wanna
call a foul, Danny?

Daniel:
No foul.

Tie game.

Monty:
Alright then.

Jan:
Daniel, you all right?

Monty:
All right.
Let's do this.

(heroic music)

Come on, Pastor.

(heroic music)

*

(roaring)

(groaning)

Now that's a foul.

Baby, you're bleeding.

It's okay, it's nothing
but a little scratch.

Hey, Monty-Monty.
That's my bad, man.

Angela:
I've been thinking
about my vows.

Ow!
-Sorry, baby, that hurt?

Ow! Yeah!

'Cause you keep
poking at it.

What I want in a marriage.

And being a stay-at-home
baby-mama just ain't it.

Baby.

Look, marriage is
about compromise.

Your parents will tell
you the same thing.

Yeah, but what about
sharing goals together?

Sharing goals?
Where is this coming from?

Look I compromise,
why shouldn't you?

Yeah? What's your compromise?

We're getting married,
aren't we?

Mhm.
-I-

Angela-
-Okay.

Come on, Angela.

(Monty sighs)

(gentle music)

Mrs. Ramirez:
Wow-wee!

It is darker than a
catafalque in here.

Rabbi Simon called you
back about a joint service

and Deacon Jones called

and he does not like
that wreath on the door.

He says it is paganistical.

Oh, and you gotta do
a coffee with Jan-

You know those plants
are fake, right?

I know that.

Also,

the po-po is here.

What?

Mrs. Ramirez:
The 5-0, the fuzz,

the Les gendarmes.

Police is outside
waiting for ya.

Daniel:
Howdy, officer.

Don't shoot (laughs).

Kidding.

Kinda.

We apprehended this
vagrant for loitering

and found this cup
in his possession.

Recognize it?

Yes.

He says he didn't steal it.

Says you gave it to him.

Man, why you always
gotta pick on me.

I recommend you remember your
right to remain silent, bub.

So, did you give it to him?

No.

I gave him the chalice

and the candlesticks,

which Mr. Crenshaw
apparently forgot.

They're more valuable
as a set, remember?

Wait, wait, wait. So-

Keep up the good
work, officer.

And try not to beat up any
suspects on your way home, okay?

Bub-bye.

I swear, I was
gonna return it-

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Combat boots, fatigues.
You served, right?

You got more
principles than me.

Like I said Crenshaw,
your not a bad dude, man,

you just fell on
some hard times.

So consider that a down
payment on your soul.

Really?

Yeah. You belong
to goodness now.

That was, that was-

Words fail me.

Wow, not for long.

Hey, I got this thing
at the hospital.

Can you tell Jan McCann
I'm sorry?

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

(ominous music)

*

Pops:
I wanna thank you for
keeping me in the fight.

But I need a favour.

Yeah yeah, what you need?
A magazine or pillow?

Nurse can I, uh-

It's Angela.

She's afraid.

Afraid of losing me.

You've been such a
good friend to her.

Have I?

What's on your mind, son?

I think she might be
rushing into this marriage.

Pops:
Could be.

But she's gonna make
her own choices.

For better or worse.

Man, what if
it's a mistake?

Why don't you tell her, son?

Yeah maybe I just, um-

You know, I've been feeling
a little lost lately.

You try prayer?

I heard it works sometimes.

Well, God's been sending
me mixed signals so, um,

but the truth is Pops-

Angela:
Pops and Daniel,
two of my faves.

Hey, Angela.

How's the patient?

You know, fighting
the good fight.

Mhm.

Good, 'cause he'll be
walking me down the aisle

next Saturday.
- Mhm.

Coffee?

Yeah, yeah.

Angie can we talk?

I wanted to say sorry about
the whole hitting Monty thing.

It was an accident,
I swear.

Is he okay by the way?

He's fine.
-Okay, good.

You know men,
big babies.

And I also wanted to say
sorry about interfering

with your wedding and the
cakes and the flowers-

Yeah, you were just
trying to help.

I just want what's best for
you and I'm trying so hard

and I feel like
I'm screwing up-

Sorry this,
sorry that.

Chill already.

You sacrifice so much
for everybody else

and then beat the man
inside just for being human.

That's what I love
most about you.

You do?

I know it isn't
all about you,

but sometimes it could be
a little about you, right?

(chuckles) Yeah.

Jan McCann's a lucky girl,
you ever figured that out.

Yeah, that's not happening.

Really?
-Nah.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Well, what happened?

I dunno, maybe I
saw what Monty has.

I mean, what you and Monty
have and I couldn't settle,

which brings me to what I-
-Monty?

No, it's kind of
about Monty but-

Monty.

My bad, what
were you saying?

Uh, nothing. Nothing.

For you.
I'm sorry.

Appreciate it.

I'm gonna put these
in some water.

Okay.

(Monty sighs)

Ah, yeah, hey,
I'm real sorry

about the whole
busting you in your face

with the basketball thing.

Devil made me do it.

(both chuckle)

Forgotten and forgiven.

Cool, cool, cool, cool.

And to prove it,

I insist you come
to my bachelor party.

Oh, I insist,
don't invite me.

Just dinner, with friends.

Four-star,

nothing tawdry.

Look uh,

Angie and I had
a little tiff

and I know she wants
us to be friends so,

you'd be doing me a favour.

Okay.

Sweet.
-Yeah.

Thanks for coming, baby.

How was the wedding?

Go back to sleep, Daddy.

What, whatever happened to
that nice preacher fellow?

Who, Daniel?

He's crazy about you.

You need to be with someone
who's crazy about you.

Oh well.

Too late now,
I guess.

(phone rings)

Monty Fassbeck.

Jan:
Hey, it's Jan McCann.

Uh, who?

Jan McCann as in
Find-Me-a-Man?

Monty:
Oh, of course, Jan.

Yeah, how you doing?

Jan:
About the same as you 'cause
we got the same problem.

A certain pastor named Daniel.

Ring any church bells?

Sure do.

Jan:
Well did you also know
about his fondness to ditch me

to hang out with a certain
parishioner named Angela?

As in Angela Reed?

As in your fiancé?

I'm all ears.
Pray continue.

Darryl:
Hey Monty, what's the football
coach ask for at the bank?

Quarterback.

Hey, you know what's funny?

Brian from Sales was trying
to give me stock advice.

Man:
What? I mean, come on.

Yo, which one is he?

The brother at the end.

Kadeem:
Oh, the handsome dude?

Oh you toast, bro.

I mean, you got nice shoes.

(chattering)

Hey, find out if he
got a sister for me.

Just find out.

Pastor Daniel, come on.

Daniel:
Okay, yeah.

Thanks, Darryl.

So, uh, you come here often?

Man I love steak but Shana
don't let me out too much.

Is that healthy?

Red meat's bad for you.

No, no, I wasn't
talking about-

(glass clicking)

Monty:
Well, all good things
must come to an end.

The Big Dog's finally
settling down.

Woo, yeah!

Okay okay okay.

Settle down, settle down,
settle down.

We got clergyman present.

Man:
Oh.

Hey Daniel,

would you say grace
before we eat?

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

Okay, um-

Heavenly Father,
as we bow our heads-

(dishes clattering)
(group laughing)

Hey, hey!

Come on, I can't get
no stains on this.

Shana'll be mad.

We get to eating, man.

Forgive them, Father.

They know not what they do.

Look on the bright side,

they treating you
like one of the guys.

Yeah, I guess.

I'm glad you made it.

So am I?

That's so funny.

(phone beeps)

Hey Monty?
- Yeah?

Darryl:
I was gonna be a
banker, you know?

Monty: Were ya?
- Yeah.

Darryl:
Till this woman told
me to check her balance

and I pushed
her over.

(crowd laughs)

Uh, hey guys, I gotta-

I gotta head out, so.

I'm just gonna leave.

Okay.

(soft dreamy music)

*

Angela:
There he is!

Hey.

Ah, I thought it would be
cool to do some classes

for the first dance.

But Monty's kind of tapped
out on wedding stuff so,

would you be my partner?

Oh Ange no, no, no.
I'm not much of a dancer.

Come on, please?

It's part of the
wedding package, right?

Or was all that "I live
to serve" stuff just bull?

Okay, all right.

'Kay, so I'm gonna
do some moves.

All right.

Try and follow along, okay?

So it starts like this.

One, two, three,

pump the knee.

Slide in place.

Uh huh.

All right, oh.

What are we doing now?

Okay.
- I'm just gonna sit you here.

Oh and now I'm sitting,
all right.

* Oh should we do things

* We shouldn't we've planned

* Let's take our time

* Got you on my mind

* Your passions aligned

* Creative in lives

* I crave every touch

* Am I thinking too much

* Reading me like

* Poetry, I

* Lost with you, I

* Don't know what to do, I

* Am in the clouds
with you, I *

See? Easy.

Yeah, yeah,
I'm always, uh,

willing to lend a hand,
get it?

Always with the
clever words.

Why do I feel like they come
from here and not from here?

I'm just, uh, worried about
saying the wrong thing.

And what would you do
if you weren't afraid?

That was a mistake,
I'm sorry.

What do you want Daniel?

Are you trying
to be a saint?

I was trying not
to be a sinner.

You talk a lot about love

but you're missing
one key ingredient:

Guts.

(ominous music)

(Monty sighs)

Daniel:
What am I doing?

What am I doing?
What am I doing?

Lord, I'm desperate.

Talk to me.

Okay, come on,
come on, come on.

All right here!

"Bring me a
three-year-old heifer,

"a she-goat, a ram,
a turtle dove

"and a baby pigeon."

No no no, that's not right.
That's not right.

All right.

"As he walked down the road,
some boys from town teased him

"yelling 'Get outta here,
baldy!'

"So he cursed the boys

"and two bears came out of
the woods and mauled them."

Nope, not that either.
Come on!

Okay.

"If a man commits adultery
with his neighbours betrothed,

"both offenders must
be put to death"??

All right,
this is a bad idea.

Lord, give me a sign, please.

(footsteps tapping)

That was quick.

Monty:
Pastor Daniel.

Wrong sign.

Mr. Fassbeck,
how can I help?

Monty:
Yeah, you love to help.

You can start by dropping
the goody-goody act.

I'm on to you, Pastor.

And she's marrying me.

Okay, Mr. on and
off-again Monty,

why are you marrying
her in the first place?

I'm ready,
it's time.

That's real romantic,
"Big Dawg".

Why are you marrying Angela?

Her father is dying.

She's going through the
worst time in her life.

I'm doing this for her and
you're making things worse.

Daniel:
So you're engaged to her
'cause you feel sorry for her?

Never-mind, you don't
marry somebody

because it's good for them,

you marry somebody because
it's good for you too.

Yeah, that's right.

Mind your business!

Or I'll make you turn
the other cheek.

What is this,
fourth grade?

Come on,
hit me.

No.

You're no martyr,
you're a wuss.

You hide behind that collar
'cause you ain't got no spine.

You see that's
why guys like me

end up with girls
like Angela.

And guys like you,

end up friends.

(swelling dramatic music)

*

* Go tell it on
the mountain

* Over the hills
and everywhere

* Go tell it on
the mountain

* That Jesus Christ
is born *

* Go tell it on
the mountain

* Over the hills
and everywhere

* Go tell it on
the mountain

* That Jesus Christ
is born *

* Go tell it on
the mountain

* Over the hills
and everywhere

* Go tell it on
the mountain

* That Jesus Christ
is born *

* That Jesus Christ
is born *

Go on girl, sing. Yes.

(congregation clapping)

Daniel:
Merry Christmas y'all.

Merry Christmas y'all.

Hope everybody got what
they wanted under the tree

this morning.

Which kinda got me to thinking
about giving gifts, you know.

You reach a certain age
where giving presents

is more important
than getting 'em.

And I know it's not
always about you but, uh,

you know, if people
didn't want things

the whole system would kind
of fall apart, you know?

Which got me to
thinking about Joseph

'cause he's kind of
like the third wheel

in this whole thing.

And now in the supporting role
of the dull and dutiful father:

Saint Joseph.

We're like,
what did he want?

Did he have a say?

He has no more to do
with the nativity

than one of those
plastic sheep

you just stick in the
back of the crèche.

I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed
to be this wise pastor

and everything,

but maybe I'm
just a sheep too.

Baah, baah,

humbug, get it?

(dramatic music)
(congregation murmuring)

(dramatic music)
(congregation murmuring)

(Timothy clapping)

Interesting sermon.

Takes the merry right out
of Christmas, doesn't it?

Timothy,

let's stick to the business
you wanted to discuss.

What, did I, uh, park
in the wrong spot?

Forget to bless
the poinsettias?

It's about the chalice
that went missing.

I understand the police
brought in a suspect who-

Not only did you
not prosecute him,

but you let him
keep the chalice.

Yeah, I gave him the
candlesticks too.

Deacon Jones:
Why?

I don't know, I read it
in the book somewhere.

Cavorting with criminals?

Lunch dates
with congregants?

I heard you're
giving some couple

their own special
wedding program.

Daniel:
Yeah, it needs a new name.

If you think of anything.

This is not what
we signed up for.

This is grounds
for dismissal.

Thank you, Timothy.
That'll be all.

Hm.

I'm still on you side.

Talk to me.

How did you and Hazel meet?

(Rev. Treadgold chuckles)

Ah.

Well, I was fresh out of
divinity school and, uh,

got a job as an
Assistant Pastor.

Hazel was the
minister's daughter.

(both chuckle)

Things got complicated,
but it all worked out.

42 years and counting.

And didn't you find it difficult
being a man of the cloth?

Well sure,
but what isn't?

Yeah.

I'm trying to do
the right thing

and I'm trying to
do the kind thing,

and neither one
feels right.

There's kindness to
be found everywhere.

The thing is,

it's better to be honest
with words that sound kind

than to be kind with
words that sound honest.

Talk to her, son.

What if it's too late?

It ain't over till
the fat lady sings.

Tell my wife I said that

and I'm gonna break three
of the Commandments on ya.

Daniel:
Hey, it's, uh,
me again.

Just checking in.

Big day tomorrow, yaay!

Uh, so if you need me just-

Mrs. Ramirez, what
are you doing here?

It's Christmas,
go home.

I know.

I was worried about you.

Well lately you have
been so forconalsome

scuptancious,
and frankly,

a little bit colaphalochamous.

Where do you get
these words Mrs. R?

I make 'em up.

(both giggle)

Mrs. Ramirez:
Well are you telling me
you don't feel forconalsome,

scuptancious and
colaphalochamous?

I've never felt
so colaphalochamous

in my whole life.

I thought so.

So I,

I made you this.

Daniel:
A lion?

Mrs. R, thank you.

It is a symbol.

You know that scene in
the Bible where Daniel

walks into that
lion's den?

Daniel: Mhm.
-Yeah.

So it's to remind me to
be like that other Daniel?

Strong and calm in the face-

No, honey.

You are the lion.

Merry Christmas,
Pastor Daniel.

Yeah, Merry Christmas,
Mrs. R.

(gentle piano music)

*

*

*

*

(busy phone tone)

Still nothing.

Maybe she's busy breaking
up with Monty right now.

Yeah, sure.

Or maybe her phone got
trampled on by some unicorns.

Okay, I'll make you a bet.

If she doesn't get
married today,

you have to go to church
for three months.

I'll go to church
for three years,

but that ain't gonna happen.

She made a choice.
-Has she?

She's in her wedding dress
right now.

I need a drink.

Kadeem:
There's gotta be one
around here somewhere.

Don't you dare.

Okay, let's see it on.

Is this a mistake?

I think it's better off.

I'm not talking
about the veil.

I know.

This is normal, right?

These butterflies,

more like a bag
full of hornets.

Momma, you felt
this way, right?

No.
-Shana,

please tell me
you felt this way.

No.

You gotta do
this for you.

Not for me,
not for Pops.

Do you love him?

Which one?

The one who asked me
or the one who won't?

You have got to-
(knocking)

It's time!

(Darryl humming
"Here Comes The Bride")

(lively organ music)

Congregant:
Hey, Pastor Daniel!

Must be a hard
day for ya, huh?

No Sampson knocking
down the temple.

No David slaying Goliath.

No Joshua
sacking Jerusalem.

Jericho.

You lost.

Sorry, Pastor.

Today the lion
eats Daniel.

(lively organ music)

("Here Comes The Bride")

*

*

Daniel:
Be seated.

So, uh, we are
gathered here today

to join Angela

and Monty

in holy matrimony.

In the words of John,
Chapter 14,

"God is love,

and those who
abide in love,

abide in God,"

blah, blah, blah,
et cetera, et cetera.

Let's talk a little bit
about Monty, shall we?

You know what?

Let's talk about Angela.

The most incredible person
I've ever met y'all.

Smart as a whip,

left her big fancy city job

to work in the charity,

I mean, who does
that these days?

She is the kindest,
smartest, most beautiful-

Daniel.
-Yeah?

This is not a part
of the program.

Well it should be.

Uh, the program.

Yeah, let's stick to the
program Steve Stickler.

Can I get some
water please?

I'm getting a little hot.

I got you!

Shana:
Darryl, what are you doing?

Sorry, baby.

The best.

Daniel:
(sucking) Mmmm.

Ahhh! Okay.

So let's, uh, let's go
on to the rings then.

Come on, baby girl,
what's your?

Monty:
Thank you.

Wait, where's the,
is the ring?

Ah...

Well, I'm sorry y'all,
there's no rings

and if you don't
have the rings,

you don't got no
wedding things so, uh-

Uh, never-mind.
We found it, great.

So I guess we're gonna
move right along, uh-

Does anybody here,

have any reason why

these two should not be bound
together in holy matrimony

for the rest of their lives?

(congregation murmuring)

Daniel:
Anybody y'all.
Any reason at al-

It doesn't even have
to be a big reason.

It can just, it can be a
little itty bitty reason.

Oh yes, you in the back!

Oh no, you're just
itching your head?

Okay.

Daniel.
-Yeah?

Okay, I guess y'all
wanna get married.

So I guess,

by the powers
vested in me,

I, um-

I, uh-

I, uh-

I, uh-

I object.

What?

I knew it.

Oh good lord.

Holy.

Yeah, baby!

Daniel:
Angela I'm in love with you

and I think you're
in love with me too.

And I'll do anything for you
except let you marry this guy-

What are you doing?
This is my wedding!

Angela?

Shana:
Angie!

Daniel: Angela?
- Angela?

Jan:
I knew it.

Angela!

(sombre music)

Angela!

(sombre music)

Aaaaaaahhhh!

(grunting and screaming)
(lively music)

Let go of him!
-Get off of me!

You ruined my life!

Stop!

She's mine!

Darryl:
We're in a church!
Man, come on!

(quirky music)

This is the last straw.

I am taking this
to the board.

Pops:
Son, is what you meant
by Michael Jordan?

Oh Daniel.

Smile.

(camera clicks)

Rev. Treadgold:
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

(church bells ring)

Thanks, man.

Kadeem:
Hey, on the bright side,

you got me to go to
church for three years.

I'm proud of you.

And I know it's brutal but,

you're a better
man because of it

and that'll make you
a better preacher.

Preacher?

No, my career is over.

The Reeds must be furious.

Most of all, Angela.
Wherever she is.

Yeah, she'll be all right.

She's not a little girl.

And you?

Have a little faith,
Brother Daniel.

I do.

Yeah.

(sighs)

Can I help you?

Crenshaw:
I uh,

I-I-I borrowed these
from-from the other guy.

He said I could
keep 'em but, uh-

I don't need 'em, so...

Thank you.

Could-could you
tell him thanks.

I-I guess it worked for me.

It worked?

What worked?

My soul.

It's good.

So am I.

Well good.
-Yeah.

Happy New Year, padre.

Happy New Year to you too.

Daniel:
Hey.

Well, well, well.
Look who showed up.

I figured if she was
still in the State,

she'd be at her
favourite place.

Do you know where I'm
supposed to be right now?

At my wedding reception.

Yeah, about that.
-With my husband.

May I sit down?

Please?

Well it seems like lately

you've been doing whatever
you damn well please, so.

I mean, I did promise you,

it'd be an
unforgettable day, remember?

Too soon?

Angela:
For someone so smart,
you say the dumbest things.

Daniel:
Yeah, I really stepped
in it today, huh?

Angela:
Why did you wait
so long, Daniel?

If you had spoken
up a month ago,

things would have
been different.

I know, I know.

But I let my head get
in the way of my heart

and that messed up what
came out of my mouth.

You gotta work on that.

But today,
you know,

once I let it out,

I felt free!

You know, no more stress
and no more worrying about,

about saying the
wrong thing.

Oh, so you're a
changed man now, huh?

Swear to god.

All right.

So were are you
really into Jan

or were you just trying
to make me jealous?

B.

Did you hit Monty
on purpose?

Hundred percent.

Do you believe in signs?

From God?

Angela, I believe
you're a sign from God.

I'm crazy in love
with you, clearly.

And every time we're together,
it feels perfect, you know.

It feels like
it's meant to be.

It's funny
'cause I thought

if he showed up,
maybe it's meant to be.

Really?

What about Monty?

He's a nice guy but,

and he's trying to
do the right thing,

but you can't get
married for other people.

So you guys are...

Off again.

For the last time.

Then I have a question

and this is gonna feel
a little sudden but-

You know, we've been spending
so much time together

and I feel so
close to you,

I feel like I can
tell you anything.

And you're a big
fan of me, right?

Exactly.

Angela Reed,
will you marry me?

Finally!

Daniel:
Is that a yes?

I do.

(joyous music)

*

(indistinct chattering)

Uh oh.

Daniel English,

I have consulted
the others,

including the board of directors
and Mr. Reed here,

and we've decided to
officially offer you

the position of
permanent Pastor.

What about Deacon Jones?

Rev. Treadgold:
He's, uh, taking a vacation,

bless his heart.

You still want the gig?

He does.

We do.

Wait, we?

Angela:
Yeah, we have a
little announcement.

Vera:
Atta-boy, Daniel.

I guess we can
retire after all.

Ohh, amen to that.

Shana:
Darryl?

Darryl:
Yeah baby?

Shana:
I love you, baby.

You know that don't you?

Yeah baby.

Looks like we've got
another wedding to plan.

Yeah, well good thing
I know what you like.

Well not everything.

* Ohh, I love you baby, mmm

* Just thinking about you
makes my heart, mmm mmm mmm *

(soulful music)

*