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subtitle by peritta
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A couple hockey players come up to
the produce stand the other day...
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00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,999
Bye!
4
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,799
Can't believe your sister's
still dating these nut sacks.
5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,199
- Wayne.
- How're you now?
6
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,399
- Good and you?
- Not so bad.
7
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,400
- Hi, Katy.
- Go home, Daryl.
8
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,599
Nice onesie. Does it come in men's?
9
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,599
Oh, I think you cum in
men enough for all of us.
10
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,400
I think you better come in my...
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00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,399
I mean, you better come...
12
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,999
I think you better come say that
to his face, you fucking hicks!
13
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,999
- Nice execution.
- You're doin' terrific.
14
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,952
Hey, I heard about your break-up, buddy.
15
00:00:46,953 --> 00:00:48,799
She was your sweetie
for five years, right?
16
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,599
Your high school sweetie, right?
17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,599
- What's it to ya?
- Heard she cheated on you, buddy.
18
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,199
That's a real kick in the knackers, bro.
19
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,599
Just a real ouchie, bro.
20
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,599
It's too bad she taught you
not to fight anymore, buddy.
21
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,199
'Cause that's a fight on sight
for you and her new guy, buddy.
22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,276
Fourth line for life, bro.
23
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:04,599
Maybe, if you'd ever been in a real fight,
you might not be so keen for another.
24
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,199
What did you say?
25
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,599
You heard me.
26
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,199
Hold my spitter.
27
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,599
Darts off, boys.
28
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,945
You looking for a tilly, buddy?
29
00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:14,936
- Let's have a donnybrook.
- Pump the brakes.
30
00:01:14,937 --> 00:01:16,799
You take your shirt off,
but leave your sunglasses on?
31
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,199
What sort of backwards
fuckin' pageantry is that?
32
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,446
Do you want to fight with those
shades or play pokerstars.com?
33
00:01:21,524 --> 00:01:22,599
Hold my spitter.
34
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,599
Dude, I can't hold your spitter.
You're holding my spitter.
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00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,600
- Just put the spitters down.
- Tick-tock.
36
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,799
- Go time!
- Go time!
37
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,399
Look at that fuckin' treasure trail.
38
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,599
What's up with your fuckin'
body hair, big shoots.
39
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,599
You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.
40
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,599
Your aesthetician quaff that for you?
41
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,799
You can kiss my ass-thetician.
42
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,399
- You guys do cross fit?
- You can cross-fuck-off.
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00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,799
Cross fart. How many times you
pulled your horn today, bud?
44
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,199
- What?
- Oh, she's bashful.
45
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,600
Oh, come on, kitten.
I won't tell anyone.
46
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,199
Ball park six to eight?
47
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,199
- You're a fucking animal.
- Play a little five on one.
48
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,999
- Hit the kitchen, mix a batch.
- Feed the ducks.
49
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,799
Distribute some free literature.
50
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,999
Go time!
51
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,399
Fuckin'... Shed 'em!
52
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,200
Riley! Jonesy! Put your fuckin'
shirts on! Get outta here!
53
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,599
- This isn't over!
- Jinx. You owe me a Coke.
54
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,600
Never buy you a Coke.
55
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,199
It's a hard life pickin'
stones and pullin' teats
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00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,002
but sure as God's got sandals it beats
fightin' dudes with treasure trails.
57
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,399
Hi, Katy.
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00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,999
We're out of yogurt.
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00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,599
I brought some from home.
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So why didn't you stay there and eat it.
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00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,600
- Mornin' Dary.
- Mornin'.
62
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,123
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
63
00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,799
So, you talked to Angie yet?
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00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,199
It's been almost a month now. Think
you need to get back on the horse.
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00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,199
She stepped out on you. Can't go
back to that and get any respect.
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00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,399
Not in Letterkenny.
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00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,799
Wayne, Angie did you a lot of good.
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00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,599
Somewhere along the
way you kinda got soft.
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00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,999
You're not even fighting anymore.
70
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,909
- You know what you need?
- Sex. With a girl.
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00:02:58,911 --> 00:03:00,969
Not just any girl. A
good Christian girl.
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00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:02,025
I think I can help you.
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00:03:02,027 --> 00:03:04,088
I've been going to the Burning
Bush Youth Group every Sunday.
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00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:05,399
I think you should come with me.
75
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,999
I think you should just eat your yogurt.
76
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,199
There's millions of
starving kids in the world.
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00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,800
Yeah? Name ten.
78
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,199
You need a distraction.
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00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,600
Something fun. Look at this.
80
00:03:27,721 --> 00:03:29,320
It's called Tinder.
81
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,799
Look, see there's all these
girls and if you don't like one,
82
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,599
you just say nope and
move onto the next.
83
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,999
But if you do like one, then
you can see how close they are
84
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,799
and I don't know, maybe meet up
85
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,104
or whatever.
86
00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:43,400
So if you like 'em you just type 'em
out a message or what's the scoop?
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00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,000
Yeah. You just, you know,
say something like...
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00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,400
Like, "On a scale of one to
America, how free are you right now?"
89
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,800
Oh, Jesus! Look at these nut sacks.
90
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,999
Why do you hate them so much?
91
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,999
'Cause hockey players would grab
a monkey by the tit if they could.
92
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,399
Smokes are for jokes, bud!
93
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,999
Put it out before it puts you out, bud!
94
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,200
Trash the ash, pal!
95
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,199
Ouch! Put it out! Put it out!
96
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,600
Put it out! Put it out!
97
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,399
Tell the fish hook story, Dan.
98
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,399
It's really more of a Wayne story.
99
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,599
Yeah, but he won't tell it.
100
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,599
Oh, you've heard it
a baker's dozen times.
101
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,999
Tell the story or he won't shut up.
102
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,799
Is there anymore trail mix?
103
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,799
It's in the house.
104
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,999
Yous makes the most
delicious trail mix, Katy,
105
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,999
and I got to say that's
what I appreciates about you.
106
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,799
Is that what you appreciate about me?
107
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,399
Pitter-patter, squirrely Dan.
108
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,599
So, as the story goes,
109
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,999
Wayne hucks an egg at a
truck with a Confederate flag
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in the back windshield
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00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,799
and the driver's fumin' pissed.
112
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,799
So, we flee the scene goin' full
tilt like a Peterbilt, right?
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00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,199
Now, The Federales catch up to us
and chase us through a few backyards
114
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,399
before we scamper up into some trees
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00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,399
and all Wayne's got on is a
pair of cut-off jean shorts
116
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,599
so he ain't exactly super jazzed
about the situation, was you Wayne?
117
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,399
Oh, I'm no DJ Jazzy Jeff.
118
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,999
The Federale pulls out his Taser,
119
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,399
and he points it up at Wayne and says
some real Clint Eastwood-sounding shit.
120
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,999
He says to Wayne, he says,
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00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,799
"If I'd known I was going to run
into some uptown street toughs today,
122
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,542
"I'd have done up my top button."
123
00:05:17,544 --> 00:05:19,599
That's from a John Wayne motion picture.
124
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,799
No, Cool Hand Luke.
125
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,799
Pert near anything
Kevin Costner, really.
126
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,399
Either way, I's impressed and
I'd let out an audible gasp
127
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,599
so he hears me, spins around, aims
the Taser up at me and lets fire,
128
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,125
and if that thing doesn't
latch onto my nipple ring,
129
00:05:33,127 --> 00:05:35,399
which I'm pretty sure
amplified the electric current,
130
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,199
he sent coursing through my entire body.
131
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,599
And they just walked over and
yanked that thing out of my nipple
132
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,199
like it was a goddamn fish hook.
133
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,999
At least that's according to my cousin.
134
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,599
Well, you know, my second cousin.
135
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,399
- Who, Garrett?
- No, Jarrett.
136
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,999
- Huh...
- I cried.
137
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,799
I'm not even ashamed to admit that.
138
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,399
That was well brought
up. Too bad you weren't.
139
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,200
I should say.
140
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,999
Thirsty Thursdays, boys.
141
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,000
Might as well get balls deep in
a bottle of Gus'n Bru tonight.
142
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,999
It's a four leaf clover. Make a wish.
143
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,199
Wish you weren't so
fucking awkward, bud.
144
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,199
Is Angie working?
145
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,200
Better have a peek-see, Wayne.
146
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,799
- How are yous?
- Not too bad.
147
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,799
- Good. And you?
- Not too bad.
148
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,199
Smells like someone's
in their barn clothes.
149
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,215
It's Dary.
150
00:06:27,216 --> 00:06:28,979
Four shots of Gus'n Bru,
please and thank you,
151
00:06:28,981 --> 00:06:30,089
One for you, too, Gailor.
152
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:32,399
Thank you, Wayne, but I'm off the sauce.
153
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,799
Taking eight vitamins a day now.
154
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,399
- What are you taking?
- I'm taking multi-vitamin,
155
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,199
fish oil, vitamin C, vitamin D,
156
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,399
two vitamin B complexes
and two Cold-FX's.
157
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,776
Yeah, but 'cept how many darts though?
158
00:06:44,778 --> 00:06:45,862
Twenty, 25 darts.
159
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:46,918
Oh, you got 'er down then?
160
00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:48,752
Last I seen ya, you were on
a pack and half of smokes.
161
00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:50,399
Well, sometimes, I'll have
a pack and a half of smokes,
162
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,907
but never more than two packs of smokes.
163
00:06:51,909 --> 00:06:52,939
Good enough.
164
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,400
All right. Won't be rude.
165
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,999
I'd hang a piss.
166
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,399
Oh, fuck.
167
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,200
I'm about to give birth
to a pound of fudge.
168
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,312
Wayne.
169
00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:12,445
McMurray. How 're ya now?
170
00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:13,799
- Good 'n you?
- Not so bad.
171
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,999
Seen Angie, with her new
dude? What a fuckin' dandy.
172
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,999
Yeah. He's got
fugazi-diamonds in both ears
173
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,399
and leprechaun buckles on his shoes.
174
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,199
Running a fuckin' Dippity-Doo
convention upstairs for a salad.
175
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,599
Driving a '94 Jeep YJ with
a wave decal on the side.
176
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,599
Enough cologne to offend
a Bangkok lady boy.
177
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,600
Good enough.
178
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,599
This must be where
the dicks hang out, eh?
179
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:38,999
Our dicks hang out.
180
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,799
Yours is like a
mushroom in a corn field.
181
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,800
Mind your fuckin' business, Alexander.
182
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,599
Seen Angie with her new
dude? What a fuckin' dandy.
183
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,399
Eyes on your own work
there, super chief.
184
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,399
Thank Christ, Wayne,
I'm pushing clobs here.
185
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,799
Get outta the way, I'm growing a tail.
186
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,399
Wayne, I would like to cordially invite
you to the Burning Bush Youth Group
187
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,310
this Sunday, for an
evening of song and praise.
188
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,381
Hard no.
189
00:08:08,382 --> 00:08:10,382
My sweetie, Margaret,
is a first class gal.
190
00:08:10,631 --> 00:08:12,701
She's got some friend
she introduce you to.
191
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,399
You're a pervert, Daryl.
192
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,999
Jesus, your breath could
stop a Mack truck right now.
193
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,600
All right, cool it.
194
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,599
What say, we go for a
quick ice run, Wayne?
195
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,199
I'm pushing up on you for years now.
196
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,999
What's say you give old
Gailor one for the scrapbook?
197
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,600
Huh?
198
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,999
I'll do the Youth Group.
199
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,399
All right.
200
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,199
Gail, looks like the
John's allergic to fudge.
201
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,399
Bring the plunger, we may
have to break this one up.
202
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,999
Told you to flush as you go. Fuck.
203
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,199
Hi, Daryl. Christ be with you.
204
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,799
Margaret.
205
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,599
- And you must be Wayne.
- Mmm-hmm.
206
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,199
- Christ be with you, Wayne.
- Hello.
207
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,399
How are yous?
208
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,999
- Oh, not s'bad.
- Good 'n you?
209
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,800
Perfect.
210
00:09:11,325 --> 00:09:13,200
You made a good choice
coming here, tonight.
211
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,580
Yeah? Why is that?
212
00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:19,398
Hold your finger here
for as long as you can.
213
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,159
What for...
214
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,399
- All right.
- Now imagine,
215
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,999
your soul engulfed in
that for all of eternity.
216
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,600
Okay.
217
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,999
God is good.
218
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,800
That's how they get you.
219
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,999
Wayne's been going through
a bit of a rough break up,
220
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,799
and I thought a night at the
Burning Bush might help him out.
221
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,600
Plus, it's better than
spending all his time on Tinder.
222
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,262
Tinder?
223
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,399
Did you know that it was
originally called Grindr
224
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,000
and that it was made for gay
men to sodomize each other?
225
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,799
- No.
- Yeah.
226
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,600
Good way to get a finger in your bum.
227
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,000
Or a tongue in your bum.
228
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,400
Do you know what Dick Dingers are?
229
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,799
No.
230
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,399
It's when they snort drugs off
of each other's erect penises.
231
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,199
That have just been in bums.
232
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,799
Oh, my gourd! Look at this turnout.
233
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:15,855
Hi, everybody.
234
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,799
Quick question for all y'all.
235
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,218
How good is God?
236
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,999
I know, I know, I love
him. He's the best.
237
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,399
Second question, has anyone seen...
238
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,599
Where is my beautiful
girlfriend, Virginia?
239
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,199
Ginny, where are you?
240
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,199
There she is, Ginny, come
on up here. Come up, Ginny.
241
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,599
Oh, ugh, Ginny.
242
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,599
Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. Hmm.
243
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,999
I still remember, like it was yesterday,
244
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,399
the day that the Lord gave you to me.
245
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,599
And he said, "Glen,
246
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,399
"this is your blank canvas, it is pale.
247
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,999
"It is colorless, it is
almost cardboard-like.
248
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,599
"I want you
249
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,399
"to give it life, to give it color."
250
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,599
And so I said to the Lord,
251
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,400
"I will give it everything, everything.
252
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,399
"Except for one thing."
253
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,399
What was that question? Uh, hmm?
254
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,999
Vaginal intercourse!
255
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,799
Guess what, boys and girls?
256
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,199
You're in for somethin' special,
'cause we got The Salty Treats.
257
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,399
What the actual fuck is this place?
258
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,399
Why can't you just enjoy yourself?
259
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,799
It's 'cause I get
onto this Tinder thing,
260
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,599
and now they tell me
it's for finding dudes.
261
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,799
But that's some bullshit, right?
262
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,599
- I don't know.
- You want some strawberry lemonade?
263
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,999
I haven't seen this sort of fuckin'
bedlam since we fired Roman Candles
264
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,599
at coyotes that night and caught
one right in the butt hole, fuck.
265
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,599
Ran up the back porch, dropped seven
shades of shit in Dad's work boots.
266
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,399
Could have been a wolf.
There's wolf's in the back bush.
267
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,799
There's for sure mooses.
268
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,000
- Have a dart.
- Yeah, I'd have a dart.
269
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,800
Oh, fuckin' Grindr.
270
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,399
Grindr?
271
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,599
- Grindr.
- What?
272
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:16,799
Pray tell, what are you
doing on Grindr, Wayne?
273
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,799
What are you skids doing out of
your parents' basement, Stewart?
274
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,199
The gang and I have been
doing hip-hop karaoke
275
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,999
for the better part of 48
hours. Out on the decks.
276
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,799
- Ones and twos.
- The entire 48.
277
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,199
Subsequently spittin' hot fire.
278
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,999
Playing Mega-Man and Final
Fantasy on original NES.
279
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,199
Pokemon Gold, on GameBoy Color.
280
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,999
- Gotta catch 'em all.
- Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur,
281
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,503
Charmeleon, Charizard,
fuckin' Charmander.
282
00:12:32,505 --> 00:12:34,199
Fuckin' Charmander.
283
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,649
Time to take about 20% off
on the meth intake, boys
284
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,455
Lion King was far ahead of its time.
285
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,255
Makes you think far beyond your years.
286
00:12:40,256 --> 00:12:41,655
Disney games prevail!
287
00:12:41,656 --> 00:12:43,255
You got any weed?
288
00:12:43,256 --> 00:12:46,194
I always regret coming to the
surface with you, day-walking hicks.
289
00:12:46,196 --> 00:12:47,975
The minutiae of your world.
290
00:12:47,977 --> 00:12:50,855
My basement resembles an
island Xanadu, in comparison.
291
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:52,055
- Okay.
- Ah, but some quick math
292
00:12:52,056 --> 00:12:54,255
tells me this time, however,
293
00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:57,455
you've been so agonized by a woman
you're now seeking the company of men.
294
00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:00,055
Oh, okay. We've all thought about it.
295
00:13:00,056 --> 00:13:02,055
Well, good on you for doubling down.
296
00:13:02,056 --> 00:13:04,855
Although, I didn't peg you
for a pipe fitter, Wayne.
297
00:13:04,856 --> 00:13:05,978
Pegged!
298
00:13:05,979 --> 00:13:08,157
Five years with Andie, we figured
you were a concrete clam slammer.
299
00:13:08,159 --> 00:13:10,255
Why drink from the furry cup when
the garden hose is right there?
300
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,455
Who knew he liked the
chutney ferret, eh fellas?
301
00:13:13,656 --> 00:13:15,055
Fuckin' what?
302
00:13:15,056 --> 00:13:16,158
- Knob jockey.
- Back door bandit.
303
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,003
I'm gay, but donut puncher!
304
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,455
- Just gimme my phone.
- Oh, yeah, sure thing.
305
00:13:21,456 --> 00:13:22,855
- Oklahomo.
- Rear admiral.
306
00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:24,855
- Uphill gardener.
- Bum bumper.
307
00:13:24,856 --> 00:13:26,655
This is awkward for me, you guys.
308
00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:28,055
Hey, it's okay.
309
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,655
We know, and we support you.
310
00:13:30,656 --> 00:13:32,655
All right. Donald Trump of rump!
311
00:13:36,656 --> 00:13:38,159
- Phone.
- Okay.
312
00:13:38,161 --> 00:13:40,760
But only because you have this weird...
313
00:13:42,056 --> 00:13:43,855
- Menergy...
- Menergy!
314
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:47,056
- About you.
- Sorry.
315
00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:51,855
That's a great name for a spa.
316
00:14:04,656 --> 00:14:07,656
Oh, stop it. You know
I love ripping didge.
317
00:14:33,256 --> 00:14:36,255
If you don't change your attitude
you're gonna lose out on all the girls.
318
00:14:36,256 --> 00:14:39,055
Like the 12-year-olds
or the 13-year-olds?
319
00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:41,856
Well, have you noticed all
the well-groomed dudes here?
320
00:14:42,856 --> 00:14:44,255
You missed the best part.
321
00:14:44,256 --> 00:14:47,255
Glen just did his didgeridoo solo.
322
00:14:47,256 --> 00:14:49,255
Well, that's pretty much it.
323
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,655
You guys wanna get some milk shakes?
324
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:53,056
- I think Modeans is open.
- Boy, howdy.
325
00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:55,129
Well, well, well...
326
00:14:55,131 --> 00:14:58,530
Daryl, girl, Wayne.
327
00:14:58,656 --> 00:15:01,855
Bit surprised to see you
here, I'm being honest.
328
00:15:01,856 --> 00:15:05,056
Didn't realize you were
big fan of the didge.
329
00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:09,256
Aw. More of a didgere-don't?
330
00:15:20,256 --> 00:15:22,055
What do you do with the fertile, Wayne?
331
00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:24,455
Didn't I just catch you cruisin' Grindr?
332
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:25,728
Come again?
333
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:27,455
Hey, shouldn't you boys be
watching Friday Night Lights
334
00:15:27,456 --> 00:15:28,855
with a gym sock on your joy stick?
335
00:15:28,856 --> 00:15:30,455
Chirp Tim Riggins. I fuckin' dare you.
336
00:15:30,456 --> 00:15:32,655
Mix in a little One Tree Hill
and maybe some Gossip Girl.
337
00:15:32,656 --> 00:15:35,055
But I think we've got bigger
fish to fry right here.
338
00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:38,059
Looking for love over the
rainbow now, are we Dorothy?
339
00:15:38,061 --> 00:15:39,259
I hate you,
340
00:15:39,456 --> 00:15:41,655
but can confirm deer season's over.
341
00:15:41,656 --> 00:15:43,255
He's hunting bear now.
342
00:15:44,456 --> 00:15:48,055
I fuckin' hate you too.
However, fuckin' hate him more.
343
00:15:48,056 --> 00:15:50,056
And I just found out he's ambidextrous.
344
00:15:50,095 --> 00:15:51,655
What are they talking about, Wayne?
345
00:15:51,656 --> 00:15:52,855
He likes dicks now.
346
00:15:52,856 --> 00:15:54,255
In his bum. Or his mouth.
347
00:15:54,256 --> 00:15:55,455
All over.
348
00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:57,255
Oh, my God. That's
Angie's new boyfriend?
349
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,056
Oh, that's that city boy.
350
00:16:03,457 --> 00:16:04,854
What a skirt.
351
00:16:04,856 --> 00:16:06,856
What a shit.
352
00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:13,655
Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what a
series of unfortunate events
353
00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:15,655
you fuckin' been through, you ugly fuck.
354
00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:17,233
Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
355
00:16:17,235 --> 00:16:20,255
- Fuck you, Stewart.
- Hey, fuck you...
356
00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:22,256
Yeah, fuck yourself.
357
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:45,368
You must be having a fun night.
358
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,167
"Ur bro is gay.
359
00:16:48,169 --> 00:16:51,569
"LMFAO." In all caps, from Riley.
360
00:16:53,856 --> 00:16:57,055
Wayne? You remember when you were 19,
361
00:16:57,056 --> 00:17:00,855
those worm pickers kept coming in
the night and trampling on our beans?
362
00:17:00,856 --> 00:17:02,360
What did you do?
363
00:17:02,362 --> 00:17:04,760
Dug six foot holes,
put a skunk in each one
364
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,761
and waited for them to fall in.
365
00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:10,558
Remember when the skids egged
Daryl on his bike? What did you do?
366
00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:14,731
Put some stink bombs in a Nerf gun
and fired it at them on prom night.
367
00:17:15,856 --> 00:17:18,255
Remember when you came in from
chorin' and found those messages
368
00:17:18,256 --> 00:17:20,471
on my computer from a
guy cal ling me a slut?
369
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,655
I wanted a piece of
that guy for a long time.
370
00:17:22,656 --> 00:17:26,456
You drove over to his house and
broke his nose on his front lawn.
371
00:17:28,856 --> 00:17:31,455
You know, I miss that Wayne.
372
00:17:31,456 --> 00:17:32,597
I think a lot of people do.
373
00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:34,399
It's for the better.
374
00:17:57,656 --> 00:18:00,656
This is Sparta!
375
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,164
Ow! Fuck!
376
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:13,086
What the hell are you doing?
377
00:18:13,088 --> 00:18:15,111
I'd ask you the same
thing, you fuckin' tit.
378
00:18:15,113 --> 00:18:18,455
I'm taping an idiot. I'm not sneaking
up on dudes and starting fights.
379
00:18:18,456 --> 00:18:20,255
I'm not fightin' ya. I'm smackin' ya.
380
00:18:20,256 --> 00:18:23,580
Oh, that's right. You
don't fight anymore, do you?
381
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:26,813
I figured I'd have one on deck
for sure after I stole your girl.
382
00:18:28,931 --> 00:18:30,730
Nothin', eh?
383
00:18:30,732 --> 00:18:32,368
No move?
384
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:34,569
She must've trained you well.
385
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:37,370
So what's it gonna take to get
you back on the horse there, champ?
386
00:18:37,523 --> 00:18:40,723
Do I go inside and spread Angie right
out on the bar when she gets here?
387
00:18:41,456 --> 00:18:44,456
I've fucked your girl more
times than you've had a hot meal.
388
00:18:45,361 --> 00:18:47,161
Maybe your sister wants to join us.
389
00:18:47,856 --> 00:18:50,014
It's Katy, right? Shit.
390
00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:51,814
Why don't I go over
there and ask her myself?
391
00:19:02,115 --> 00:19:04,115
Pull your pants up, Alexander.
392
00:19:10,856 --> 00:19:12,856
You've come this far.
393
00:19:52,997 --> 00:19:55,397
Welcome to fuckin' Letterkenny.
394
00:20:22,362 --> 00:20:24,162
Good to have you back, big brother.
395
00:20:25,256 --> 00:20:27,255
- Hi, Katy
- KATY: Go home, Daryl.
396
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,860
- Bye, Wayne. Have a good one bro.
- Bye, Wayne.
397
00:20:33,862 --> 00:20:35,462
See you later, buddy.
398
00:20:35,463 --> 00:20:37,463
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