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1
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:17,131
Fuck Wolverine.
2
00:02:17,155 --> 00:02:19,873
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.
3
00:02:19,897 --> 00:02:24,312
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.
4
00:02:24,336 --> 00:02:26,531
What a dick.
5
00:02:26,555 --> 00:02:28,795
Well, guess what, Wolvie?
6
00:02:28,819 --> 00:02:31,667
I'm dying in this one, too.
7
00:02:34,389 --> 00:02:36,803
To understand
why I took a cat-nap
8
00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:38,935
on 1,200 gallons
of high-test fuel...
9
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,328
I need to take you back
10
00:02:40,352 --> 00:02:42,809
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.
11
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,201
I'd gone international,
12
00:02:44,225 --> 00:02:46,160
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,
13
00:02:46,184 --> 00:02:47,901
unspeakable monsters.
14
00:02:47,925 --> 00:02:50,904
People nobody would touch.
Except me.
15
00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:52,906
I'm gonna touch them all over.
16
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,476
Hey, it's Gail calling.
17
00:02:58,500 --> 00:02:59,651
Love the shiny suit.
18
00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,436
Really brings out
19
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,540
the sex trafficker in your eyes.
20
00:03:04,593 --> 00:03:08,704
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...
21
00:03:08,728 --> 00:03:10,880
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.
22
00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:13,385
But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so...
23
00:03:15,735 --> 00:03:18,583
Which literally translates to...
24
00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:21,673
I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
25
00:03:31,403 --> 00:03:34,164
Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.
26
00:03:34,188 --> 00:03:35,470
I am so sorry.
27
00:03:35,494 --> 00:03:37,124
I thought this was
an anal-bleaching party.
28
00:03:59,692 --> 00:04:01,583
Don't worry.
You're not going to die.
29
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:03,715
Although these will kill you.
30
00:04:03,739 --> 00:04:04,978
Hit it, Dolly.
31
00:04:25,239 --> 00:04:26,632
I'm merely
a vessel for the Lord.
32
00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:40,472
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!
33
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:50,525
Whoo! Do not go in there!
34
00:04:57,228 --> 00:04:59,317
Let's see
Captain America do that.
35
00:05:08,282 --> 00:05:09,805
Too exotic?
36
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,953
Oh, God! Oh, God,
time out! Time out!
37
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,522
Cut. I've got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.
38
00:06:38,546 --> 00:06:40,568
Oh, that's so gross.
39
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,875
Fuck.
40
00:06:43,899 --> 00:06:45,790
Looks like you left
a little landing strip there.
41
00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:46,859
I like it.
42
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,605
Oh, man!
43
00:06:57,957 --> 00:06:59,935
My world tour brought me home
44
00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:02,416
to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.
45
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,982
But we'll get to him
in a moment.
46
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,462
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.
47
00:07:05,486 --> 00:07:08,248
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."
48
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:09,988
But that's where you'd be wrong.
49
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,774
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...
50
00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:17,126
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.
51
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,954
True story.
52
00:07:18,978 --> 00:07:22,175
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.
53
00:07:22,199 --> 00:07:25,308
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.
54
00:07:25,332 --> 00:07:28,659
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.
55
00:07:28,683 --> 00:07:31,619
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.
56
00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:35,057
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?
57
00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:36,319
But this guy?
58
00:07:36,343 --> 00:07:38,302
He was one of the worst of 'em.
59
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,543
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,
60
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,718
and let's kill
this motherfucker!
61
00:07:50,792 --> 00:07:52,857
Ugh. So gross.
62
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:55,730
A panic room? Really?
63
00:07:55,754 --> 00:07:57,993
Can you come out?
64
00:07:58,017 --> 00:08:01,107
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.
65
00:08:07,026 --> 00:08:08,438
Over and over,
I hear people say,
66
00:08:08,462 --> 00:08:10,048
"I just don't have
enough confidence."
67
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,181
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.
68
00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:13,661
It's something you create.
69
00:08:13,685 --> 00:08:15,619
And you can create it
at any moment in time.
70
00:08:15,643 --> 00:08:17,360
A sense of confidence is nothing
71
00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:19,145
but a sense of power
within yourself...
72
00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:20,711
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.
73
00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:22,844
Start the fucking car!
74
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,019
Dopinder!
75
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:25,566
Start the fucking car!
76
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,767
Shoot that motherfucker!
Shoot him!
77
00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:34,334
Whoo! Oh, I shit my pants.
78
00:08:34,358 --> 00:08:36,771
Actually, that may have been me.
79
00:08:36,795 --> 00:08:38,076
Oh, mission accomplished?
80
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,253
Oh, in a George W.
Sort of way.
81
00:08:40,277 --> 00:08:41,993
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.
82
00:08:42,017 --> 00:08:43,473
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.
83
00:08:43,497 --> 00:08:45,693
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,
84
00:08:45,717 --> 00:08:47,042
and who'da thought?
85
00:08:47,066 --> 00:08:49,523
Now I'm talked about
in the same sentence as Jesus.
86
00:08:49,547 --> 00:08:51,438
Passion of the Christ, then me.
87
00:08:51,462 --> 00:08:52,743
At least domestically.
88
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:54,005
We beat them overseas,
89
00:08:54,029 --> 00:08:56,051
where there's no such thing
as religion.
90
00:08:56,075 --> 00:08:58,271
I do want to live
the dreams, Pool Boy.
91
00:08:58,295 --> 00:09:00,708
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.
92
00:09:00,732 --> 00:09:02,536
I want to fill my... Pockets?
93
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,800
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?
94
00:09:05,824 --> 00:09:07,193
Can't maintain an erection
95
00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:08,759
without buying shoes online?
96
00:09:08,783 --> 00:09:10,761
I've never experienced
that last one.
97
00:09:10,785 --> 00:09:12,198
Talk to me, Goose.
98
00:09:12,222 --> 00:09:14,939
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.
99
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:18,073
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.
100
00:09:18,097 --> 00:09:20,075
Dopinder... Hmm?
101
00:09:20,099 --> 00:09:21,927
You never cease to surprise me.
102
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:26,081
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.
103
00:09:26,105 --> 00:09:27,778
We all need
a sense of belonging.
104
00:09:27,802 --> 00:09:29,606
We all need
a genuine sense of home.
105
00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:30,781
A place in this world.
106
00:09:30,805 --> 00:09:32,174
I want to become
a contract killer.
107
00:09:32,198 --> 00:09:34,045
I'm sorry. What did you say?
108
00:09:34,069 --> 00:09:36,047
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu
109
00:09:36,071 --> 00:09:37,397
and threatened him
with great violence?
110
00:09:37,421 --> 00:09:39,050
You kind of killed him.
111
00:09:39,074 --> 00:09:40,661
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?
112
00:09:40,685 --> 00:09:41,879
Don't want to.
113
00:09:41,903 --> 00:09:43,011
When Tom Cruise fed
114
00:09:43,035 --> 00:09:44,882
10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst blood
115
00:09:44,906 --> 00:09:46,144
for the first time...
116
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,582
and she looked up at his smooth,
117
00:09:48,606 --> 00:09:50,825
handsome face and said...
118
00:09:51,609 --> 00:09:53,413
"I want some more."
119
00:09:53,437 --> 00:09:57,092
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
120
00:09:58,137 --> 00:10:00,855
I'll never not picture that.
121
00:10:00,879 --> 00:10:02,683
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,
122
00:10:02,707 --> 00:10:04,772
as soon as possible.
123
00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:07,277
We're here.
124
00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:16,087
Dopinder, it's me again.
125
00:10:16,111 --> 00:10:17,828
Look, a saner man
might discourage you
126
00:10:17,852 --> 00:10:19,743
from joining the deadly
merc business...
127
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,267
what, with your concave chest
128
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,964
and your paper towel tube arms.
129
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,705
But you're an eagle...
130
00:10:24,729 --> 00:10:26,750
and goddamn it,
an eagle's gotta soar.
131
00:10:26,774 --> 00:10:28,186
You gotta grab those dreams,
132
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,840
grab those dreams
by the dick tip...
133
00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:31,407
and make it rain!
134
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,366
I don't know what that means.
135
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:35,348
Me neither.
136
00:10:35,957 --> 00:10:37,457
I'm gonna see you...
137
00:10:38,743 --> 00:10:40,092
At the office.
138
00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:41,809
In the sky.
139
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:42,984
You're my Tom Cruise!
140
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:44,638
And you're my Kristen Dunst!
141
00:10:44,662 --> 00:10:46,141
Kristen? Kirsten?
142
00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:52,820
Sorry I'm late.
143
00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:54,430
There was a bunch of
144
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,563
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...
145
00:10:56,587 --> 00:10:58,129
and I had to, uh... Uh-uh.
146
00:10:58,153 --> 00:11:00,915
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.
147
00:11:00,939 --> 00:11:03,309
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.
148
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,659
No.You got me.
149
00:11:05,683 --> 00:11:07,487
I was rounding up
all the gluten in the world
150
00:11:07,511 --> 00:11:08,749
and launching it into space...
151
00:11:08,773 --> 00:11:10,925
where it can't not
hurt us ever again.
152
00:11:10,949 --> 00:11:12,124
Try again.
153
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,276
Diarrhea?
154
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,060
We can't be sure
until I get this suit off...
155
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,957
but, uh, all signs point to yes.
156
00:11:20,872 --> 00:11:21,873
Traffic?
157
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:23,527
Hmm?
158
00:11:24,745 --> 00:11:26,419
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
159
00:11:26,443 --> 00:11:27,443
Well, come here.
160
00:11:39,151 --> 00:11:41,608
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.
161
00:11:41,632 --> 00:11:42,826
Don't you want your surprise?
162
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:44,678
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?
163
00:11:45,462 --> 00:11:46,724
I got one for you, too.
164
00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:49,398
Happy anniversary, baby.
165
00:11:49,422 --> 00:11:50,989
Open, open, open.
166
00:11:52,991 --> 00:11:54,751
Skee-Ball token.
167
00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:56,187
Our first date.
168
00:11:56,211 --> 00:11:57,798
Yup.
169
00:11:57,822 --> 00:12:00,477
That's genuine,
high-grade lead.
170
00:12:03,393 --> 00:12:05,719
I'll keep it forever.
171
00:12:05,743 --> 00:12:07,179
Thank you, baby.
172
00:12:08,789 --> 00:12:10,487
Open yours. All right, all right.
173
00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:12,706
Oh...
174
00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:15,990
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...
175
00:12:16,014 --> 00:12:17,426
I don't know what this is.
176
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,297
My IUD.
177
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:20,516
A bomb?
178
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,650
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.
179
00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:24,781
What, you mean that your...
180
00:12:24,805 --> 00:12:26,566
Baby factory's open
for business.
181
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:27,915
Oh, my God!
182
00:12:27,939 --> 00:12:31,222
Oh, my God! I want a boy!
183
00:12:31,246 --> 00:12:34,356
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!
184
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:37,165
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.
185
00:12:37,731 --> 00:12:41,015
Like Cher or Todd.
186
00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:42,843
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.
187
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,235
Yes, I do.
188
00:12:44,259 --> 00:12:45,759
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.
189
00:12:45,783 --> 00:12:46,784
Let's do that.
190
00:12:48,002 --> 00:12:50,154
♪ Papa... ♪
191
00:12:50,178 --> 00:12:52,354
♪ Can you hear me? ♪
192
00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:56,465
♪ Papa, can you see me? ♪
193
00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:58,709
Does this song
sound familiar to you?
194
00:13:01,015 --> 00:13:03,211
May.
195
00:13:03,235 --> 00:13:06,934
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.
196
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,046
So weird.
197
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:14,464
Family was always
an F-word to me.
198
00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:20,358
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.
199
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,622
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models
200
00:13:22,646 --> 00:13:24,386
to draw off of for Todd.
201
00:13:25,562 --> 00:13:28,173
Hey. Look at me.
202
00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:31,481
You are not your father.
203
00:13:33,221 --> 00:13:34,677
Besides...
204
00:13:34,701 --> 00:13:39,445
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
205
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:41,510
But here's the thing,
206
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,381
isn't that how it always works?
207
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:44,948
Like in Star Wars,
208
00:13:44,972 --> 00:13:47,690
men are destined
to become their father...
209
00:13:47,714 --> 00:13:50,824
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?
210
00:13:50,848 --> 00:13:54,175
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.
211
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:56,482
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.
212
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:58,571
Baby, that's Empire.
213
00:13:58,595 --> 00:14:01,206
The point is, kids...
214
00:14:02,686 --> 00:14:05,340
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.
215
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:08,842
Better than we used to be.
216
00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:11,390
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
217
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,108
I'm gonna go make dessert.
218
00:14:14,132 --> 00:14:18,591
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.
219
00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:22,029
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.
220
00:14:22,053 --> 00:14:25,598
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?
221
00:14:25,622 --> 00:14:27,600
It's too stripper-y.
222
00:14:27,624 --> 00:14:29,166
Kevin with a "K"!
223
00:14:29,190 --> 00:14:31,279
No, too stripper-y, too.
224
00:14:31,845 --> 00:14:33,780
Uh, Earl!
225
00:14:33,804 --> 00:14:36,173
He's gonna go straight to jail
226
00:14:36,197 --> 00:14:38,436
if we name him Earl.
227
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,332
What about Bruce?
228
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:42,789
No.
229
00:14:42,813 --> 00:14:43,877
Get down.
230
00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:45,293
What?
231
00:15:14,192 --> 00:15:16,300
Baby? Baby?
232
00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:21,262
I'm okay.
233
00:15:21,286 --> 00:15:23,960
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.
234
00:15:58,540 --> 00:15:59,803
Please.
235
00:16:04,895 --> 00:16:06,742
Please. Please.
236
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:09,963
Baby, I'm so sorry.
237
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:13,773
No!
238
00:19:18,305 --> 00:19:21,004
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
239
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,765
Is it just me, or does
240
00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,375
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? From Frozen...
241
00:19:25,399 --> 00:19:26,724
sound suspiciously like
242
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,726
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
From Yentl?
243
00:19:30,056 --> 00:19:32,189
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
244
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,604
And nobody fucking realizes it.
245
00:19:36,628 --> 00:19:38,214
Wade, you gotta go home.
246
00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:41,000
You've been sitting here
for three days, okay?
247
00:19:41,024 --> 00:19:44,742
You smell like sauerkraut
left in the warm rain.
248
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,093
Like wet garbage in hot urine.
249
00:19:47,117 --> 00:19:49,312
You smell like
a dog ate kitty litter...
250
00:19:49,336 --> 00:19:51,401
and then farted his way
out of the living room.
251
00:19:51,425 --> 00:19:53,273
I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's
252
00:19:53,297 --> 00:19:55,144
couch cushions after Shark Week.
253
00:19:55,168 --> 00:19:56,929
I love Frozen.
254
00:19:56,953 --> 00:20:00,541
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.
255
00:20:00,565 --> 00:20:02,108
An ocean is water.
256
00:20:02,132 --> 00:20:06,895
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?
257
00:20:06,919 --> 00:20:08,070
George Michael was right.
258
00:20:08,094 --> 00:20:09,922
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!
259
00:20:10,531 --> 00:20:11,532
He's dead, too.
260
00:20:12,707 --> 00:20:14,076
At least we still have Bowie.
261
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:15,861
Oh, Mr. Pool.
David Bowie is...
262
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:17,166
Uh, uh, uh...
263
00:20:17,190 --> 00:20:18,385
still with us.
264
00:20:18,409 --> 00:20:21,281
We do.
We'll always have Bowie.
265
00:20:21,891 --> 00:20:22,955
I'm sorry.
266
00:20:22,979 --> 00:20:24,434
Shot after shot,
267
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:26,306
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...
268
00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:27,960
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?
269
00:20:27,984 --> 00:20:30,919
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.
270
00:20:30,943 --> 00:20:32,529
Is he pissing? I'm on it!
271
00:20:32,553 --> 00:20:34,053
There you go, Dopinder.
272
00:20:34,077 --> 00:20:36,142
If you want to be
a contract killer...
273
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,753
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.
274
00:20:38,777 --> 00:20:39,841
Although I don't
quite understand
275
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:41,451
how they are at all similar.
276
00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:43,584
'Cause I could shove either
one up your ass and kill you.
277
00:20:43,608 --> 00:20:44,759
Now, leave me.
278
00:20:44,783 --> 00:20:45,784
I get it.
279
00:20:46,306 --> 00:20:47,936
Go home, Wade.
280
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,310
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...
281
00:20:51,746 --> 00:20:53,159
Okay, I'm fine.
282
00:20:53,183 --> 00:20:54,334
I'm fine.
283
00:20:54,358 --> 00:20:56,205
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?
284
00:20:56,229 --> 00:20:59,992
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.
285
00:21:00,016 --> 00:21:01,234
According to the...
286
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:04,039
Kubler-Ross.Yeah.
287
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,954
According to
the Kubler-Ross model...
288
00:21:05,978 --> 00:21:08,783
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.
289
00:21:08,807 --> 00:21:11,177
Jesus Christ, Buck!
290
00:21:11,201 --> 00:21:13,116
No more speaking lines for you.
291
00:21:21,776 --> 00:21:24,146
Hey, bud. Bud.
292
00:21:24,170 --> 00:21:26,279
Huh?
Got a match?
293
00:21:26,303 --> 00:21:27,845
Match?
294
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,369
Yes, I have one right here.
295
00:21:29,393 --> 00:21:30,761
Don't make a move.
This is a stick-up.
296
00:21:30,785 --> 00:21:32,546
What?
You heard me.
297
00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:34,635
Mister, Mister,
put down that gun.
298
00:21:34,659 --> 00:21:37,290
Shut up. Now, come on.
Your money or your life?
299
00:21:45,452 --> 00:21:49,215
Look, bud. I said,
"Your money or your life."
300
00:21:49,239 --> 00:21:50,564
"I'm thinking it over!"
301
00:21:50,588 --> 00:21:52,000
Motherfuck!
302
00:21:52,024 --> 00:21:53,069
Fuck!
303
00:21:56,072 --> 00:21:57,571
The hell you doin' here?
304
00:21:57,595 --> 00:21:59,703
Don't you know how to knock?
305
00:21:59,727 --> 00:22:01,662
I thought you saw me...
306
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:03,229
with your ears.
307
00:22:03,253 --> 00:22:04,317
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...
308
00:22:04,341 --> 00:22:05,405
The wall?
309
00:22:05,429 --> 00:22:08,823
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.
310
00:22:11,609 --> 00:22:13,239
I heard the news, sweetie.
311
00:22:13,263 --> 00:22:15,371
I'm very sorry. I am.
312
00:22:15,395 --> 00:22:17,330
What am I gonna do, Al?
313
00:22:17,354 --> 00:22:19,051
Probably something terrible.
314
00:22:20,226 --> 00:22:21,638
Knowing you.
315
00:22:21,662 --> 00:22:23,186
It was my fault.
316
00:22:24,404 --> 00:22:27,122
I fucking did this.
317
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:29,037
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her
318
00:22:29,061 --> 00:22:31,020
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.
319
00:22:33,022 --> 00:22:34,695
She's gone.
320
00:22:34,719 --> 00:22:38,525
Sweetheart, can you speak up?
321
00:22:38,549 --> 00:22:39,830
It's a little hard to hear you
322
00:22:39,854 --> 00:22:41,571
with that pity dick
in your mouth.
323
00:22:41,595 --> 00:22:44,661
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.
324
00:22:44,685 --> 00:22:46,011
Thank you...
325
00:22:46,035 --> 00:22:49,057
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.
326
00:22:49,081 --> 00:22:51,146
Listen to the pain.
327
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:53,975
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.
328
00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:57,631
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.
329
00:22:57,655 --> 00:23:01,548
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.
330
00:23:01,572 --> 00:23:04,270
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?
331
00:23:06,794 --> 00:23:08,013
Wade?
332
00:23:10,450 --> 00:23:12,646
Wade? I'm right here, Althea.
333
00:23:12,670 --> 00:23:15,301
And that is
the most beautiful thing
334
00:23:15,325 --> 00:23:16,543
I've ever heard.
335
00:23:17,283 --> 00:23:18,850
And you're absolutely right.
336
00:23:22,723 --> 00:23:25,074
I'm about to do
something terrible.
337
00:23:31,123 --> 00:23:32,385
Precious, aren't they?
338
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:34,668
Whoa!
339
00:23:34,692 --> 00:23:36,148
Are you a superhero?
340
00:23:36,172 --> 00:23:37,888
Fucking A, sweetie.
341
00:23:37,912 --> 00:23:39,499
What's your name?
342
00:23:39,523 --> 00:23:41,327
Captain Delicious Pants.
343
00:23:41,351 --> 00:23:43,527
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?
344
00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:10,921
I can't believe
he's still alive.
345
00:24:10,945 --> 00:24:13,426
I can't believe you left
the house in that shirt.
346
00:24:14,906 --> 00:24:16,884
There's gotta be
some way to die.
347
00:24:16,908 --> 00:24:18,973
I just need to die harder.
348
00:24:18,997 --> 00:24:20,235
Trademark Fox.
349
00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:21,260
Y'all caught up now?
350
00:24:34,534 --> 00:24:36,208
Open for business.
351
00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:42,214
Your crazy matches my crazy.
352
00:24:42,238 --> 00:24:44,390
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
353
00:24:44,414 --> 00:24:45,695
Skee-Ball token.
354
00:24:45,719 --> 00:24:46,999
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
355
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:54,182
About why we're
so good together.
356
00:24:54,206 --> 00:24:55,401
I love you, Wade Wilson.
357
00:24:58,036 --> 00:24:59,429
Ness?
358
00:25:00,908 --> 00:25:02,040
Ness?
359
00:25:02,867 --> 00:25:04,453
Ness.
360
00:25:04,477 --> 00:25:07,176
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.
361
00:25:08,873 --> 00:25:11,417
Your heart's not
in the right place.
362
00:25:11,441 --> 00:25:14,115
Wait, hold on. What?
363
00:25:14,139 --> 00:25:16,248
Your heart's not
in the right place.
364
00:25:16,272 --> 00:25:17,684
Wait. What do you mean
365
00:25:17,708 --> 00:25:18,772
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...
366
00:25:38,903 --> 00:25:41,427
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.
367
00:25:41,906 --> 00:25:43,057
You're broken.
368
00:25:43,081 --> 00:25:46,040
Oh, God.
I know that voice.
369
00:26:07,105 --> 00:26:08,561
Well, Russell.
370
00:26:08,585 --> 00:26:11,240
I hear you're handy
at picking locks.
371
00:26:12,632 --> 00:26:14,871
There will be no need
for that here.
372
00:26:14,895 --> 00:26:18,203
There's no locks on our doors,
no bars on our windows.
373
00:26:19,552 --> 00:26:21,617
I know what you're thinking.
374
00:26:21,641 --> 00:26:24,316
Why don't the kids just run?
375
00:26:24,340 --> 00:26:27,319
Who would choose to stay
in such a place?
376
00:26:27,343 --> 00:26:29,843
You stay because...
377
00:26:29,867 --> 00:26:34,611
deep down inside, you know
you're unfit to leave.
378
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,007
Don't worry.
379
00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:42,836
We can fix that.
380
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:51,410
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand.
381
00:27:13,389 --> 00:27:15,105
"Heart's in the right place."
382
00:27:15,129 --> 00:27:16,585
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?
383
00:27:16,609 --> 00:27:18,544
Take your mask off, Wade.
384
00:27:18,568 --> 00:27:20,285
I wish you'd said "pants".
385
00:27:20,309 --> 00:27:21,547
Let's play a game.
386
00:27:21,571 --> 00:27:24,114
It's called
"Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".
387
00:27:24,138 --> 00:27:26,508
Now, close your eyes
and open your mouth.
388
00:27:26,532 --> 00:27:28,360
You don't need to be funny here.
389
00:27:28,969 --> 00:27:30,251
We must talk.
390
00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:32,775
You need fresh start.
391
00:27:32,799 --> 00:27:34,386
Such a glare.
392
00:27:34,410 --> 00:27:36,692
It's like I'm on stage
at the Gaiety.
393
00:27:36,716 --> 00:27:39,347
With training,
you can be X-Man.
394
00:27:39,371 --> 00:27:41,480
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.
395
00:27:41,504 --> 00:27:42,829
I'm not X-Man material.
396
00:27:42,853 --> 00:27:44,420
Understatement of the year.
397
00:27:44,898 --> 00:27:45,899
Wade, Yukio.
398
00:27:46,378 --> 00:27:48,313
Yukio, Wade.
399
00:27:48,337 --> 00:27:50,445
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?
400
00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:53,143
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.
401
00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:55,015
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.
402
00:27:55,039 --> 00:27:56,930
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.
403
00:27:56,954 --> 00:27:59,585
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.
404
00:27:59,609 --> 00:28:01,456
I like this guy.
405
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,589
Give him a chance.
406
00:28:03,613 --> 00:28:04,720
It's great seeing you like this.
407
00:28:04,744 --> 00:28:06,920
Yeah.
408
00:28:07,399 --> 00:28:08,724
Bye, Wade!
409
00:28:08,748 --> 00:28:11,248
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.
410
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:14,077
"Rule number one.
No killing...
411
00:28:14,101 --> 00:28:17,559
"anyone ever, no matter how bad.
412
00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:20,257
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."
413
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:21,282
Wade?
414
00:28:22,153 --> 00:28:23,435
Wade?
415
00:28:23,459 --> 00:28:25,306
Don't try to chase me. Wade!
416
00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:27,439
I'm not ready
to be touched again.
417
00:28:27,463 --> 00:28:29,702
All these old guys on the wall.
418
00:28:29,726 --> 00:28:31,815
Who lives here,
Calista Flockhart?
419
00:28:34,121 --> 00:28:37,057
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!
420
00:28:37,081 --> 00:28:38,972
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?
421
00:28:38,996 --> 00:28:41,278
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?
422
00:28:41,302 --> 00:28:44,194
And how would I do that exactly?
423
00:28:44,218 --> 00:28:46,675
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?
424
00:28:46,699 --> 00:28:47,937
It's always just you
425
00:28:47,961 --> 00:28:49,286
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...
426
00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,549
Enough!
427
00:28:50,573 --> 00:28:52,401
I said no touching!
428
00:28:54,185 --> 00:28:57,469
What the fuck?
429
00:28:57,493 --> 00:28:59,688
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.
430
00:28:59,712 --> 00:29:02,561
One that doesn't end up
in my mouth.
431
00:29:02,585 --> 00:29:03,779
The first movie made more money
432
00:29:03,803 --> 00:29:06,173
than the guy who invented pants.
433
00:29:06,197 --> 00:29:08,393
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?
434
00:29:08,417 --> 00:29:10,525
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?
435
00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:11,874
What do those do anyway, huh?
436
00:29:11,898 --> 00:29:13,398
Carry him
three feet off the ground
437
00:29:13,422 --> 00:29:15,487
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?
438
00:29:15,511 --> 00:29:17,706
No, no, no!
439
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:20,492
I am not X-Man material
at all.
440
00:29:20,516 --> 00:29:23,190
First off...
441
00:29:23,214 --> 00:29:25,259
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...
442
00:29:27,479 --> 00:29:28,543
I should have left you
443
00:29:28,567 --> 00:29:30,327
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.
444
00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:33,461
But this is what friends do.
They show up!
445
00:29:33,485 --> 00:29:35,507
Not when convenient or easy.
446
00:29:35,531 --> 00:29:39,859
When hard,
and you always make it hard.
447
00:29:39,883 --> 00:29:42,383
You are unwell.
448
00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:44,516
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.
449
00:29:44,540 --> 00:29:46,474
Wait.
One of the assholes
450
00:29:46,498 --> 00:29:47,978
who killed Vanessa got away.
451
00:29:50,546 --> 00:29:52,741
Oh, Jesus Christ!
452
00:29:52,765 --> 00:29:54,656
I thought you were gonna
kiss me for a second there.
453
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,615
Please know I wouldn't be
able to stop you if you did.
454
00:29:56,639 --> 00:29:58,704
Wade, whoever they are...
455
00:29:58,728 --> 00:30:01,078
we track them down
and bring them to justice.
456
00:30:01,644 --> 00:30:03,080
It was me.
457
00:30:05,909 --> 00:30:08,583
I'm the asshole who got away.
458
00:30:08,607 --> 00:30:11,760
I killed every last one
of them, except me.
459
00:30:11,784 --> 00:30:13,482
Couldn't kill me.
460
00:30:16,615 --> 00:30:18,617
We were gonna start a family.
461
00:30:20,445 --> 00:30:22,423
We were, uh...
462
00:30:23,622 --> 00:30:25,363
We were gonna be a family.
463
00:30:26,146 --> 00:30:27,297
Wade...
464
00:30:27,321 --> 00:30:30,107
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.
465
00:30:31,674 --> 00:30:34,043
This may not be
family you want...
466
00:30:34,067 --> 00:30:36,524
but it's family you need.
467
00:30:36,548 --> 00:30:37,830
You have a good heart.
468
00:30:37,854 --> 00:30:39,420
It belongs here
where it can grow.
469
00:30:41,205 --> 00:30:42,206
What did you say?
470
00:30:44,251 --> 00:30:45,557
About my heart?
471
00:30:50,997 --> 00:30:52,999
I think I'm in the right place.
472
00:32:00,806 --> 00:32:03,655
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.
473
00:32:03,679 --> 00:32:05,308
Toilet paper.
474
00:32:05,332 --> 00:32:06,745
What's so bad
about toilet paper?
475
00:32:06,769 --> 00:32:08,007
Gets the job done.
476
00:32:08,031 --> 00:32:10,923
Does it really get the job done?
477
00:32:10,947 --> 00:32:13,186
All right. Say you wake up
tomorrow morning...
478
00:32:13,210 --> 00:32:17,930
and, hypothetically, find some
fresh shit on your face.
479
00:32:17,954 --> 00:32:19,671
Your cheek, maybe
a little bit in the beard.
480
00:32:19,695 --> 00:32:21,411
What the hell?
I'm about to be fucking sick!
481
00:32:21,435 --> 00:32:22,543
What do you do?
482
00:32:22,567 --> 00:32:23,892
Do you go to a bathroom
483
00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:25,633
and tear off
a piece of dry tissue...
484
00:32:25,657 --> 00:32:27,548
and rub it around
on your beard a little bit
485
00:32:27,572 --> 00:32:29,158
and then go on,
get on with your day?
486
00:32:29,182 --> 00:32:30,812
Go to church,
maybe dinner and a movie,
487
00:32:30,836 --> 00:32:31,987
like nothing happened?
488
00:32:32,011 --> 00:32:33,423
Where is this coming from, man?
489
00:32:33,447 --> 00:32:34,686
But something did happen.
490
00:32:34,710 --> 00:32:36,209
Your face smells like shit.
Right?
491
00:32:36,233 --> 00:32:37,819
So what you would do,
492
00:32:37,843 --> 00:32:40,126
is you would get some soap,
you'd get some hot water...
493
00:32:40,150 --> 00:32:42,519
and you would scrub
the fucking shit
494
00:32:42,543 --> 00:32:44,565
out of your beard
for 10 straight minutes.
495
00:32:44,589 --> 00:32:46,306
You could not scrub it enough.
496
00:32:46,330 --> 00:32:48,003
Are you trying
to make me feel disgusting?
497
00:32:48,027 --> 00:32:49,265
I'm starting to feel...
498
00:32:49,289 --> 00:32:52,007
Toilet paper is
a pretty fine appetizer.
499
00:32:52,031 --> 00:32:54,357
But, then...
500
00:32:54,381 --> 00:32:56,708
Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.
501
00:32:56,732 --> 00:32:58,144
That's your main course.
502
00:32:58,168 --> 00:33:02,104
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.
503
00:33:02,128 --> 00:33:04,933
Finally, one more pass
with toilet paper,
504
00:33:04,957 --> 00:33:06,892
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.
505
00:33:06,916 --> 00:33:08,589
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,
506
00:33:08,613 --> 00:33:09,938
if you can get you a hair dryer.
507
00:33:09,962 --> 00:33:12,312
Just about 30 seconds
would do you good.
508
00:33:16,012 --> 00:33:17,013
The fuck?
509
00:33:18,275 --> 00:33:19,319
Year.
510
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:21,321
What?
511
00:33:22,540 --> 00:33:24,213
What year is it?
512
00:33:24,237 --> 00:33:26,675
What kind of dumb-ass question
is that to ask?
513
00:33:57,444 --> 00:34:00,249
We have 8 weeks of
boot camp ahead of us, men.
514
00:34:00,273 --> 00:34:01,642
That'll get us
toned and prepared
515
00:34:01,666 --> 00:34:03,233
for all manner of combat.
516
00:34:05,322 --> 00:34:09,563
Not working out at all.
517
00:34:09,587 --> 00:34:11,260
Masking tape.
518
00:34:11,284 --> 00:34:13,634
It is no friend
to chilled aluminum.
519
00:34:14,723 --> 00:34:16,744
Velcro.
Color-coded, efficient,
520
00:34:16,768 --> 00:34:17,813
environmentally friendly.
521
00:34:18,596 --> 00:34:20,182
Who is he talking to?
522
00:34:20,206 --> 00:34:21,880
And why is he dressed like
a registered sex offender?
523
00:34:21,904 --> 00:34:23,925
Can we focus
for a moment, ladies?
524
00:34:23,949 --> 00:34:26,275
Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.
525
00:34:26,299 --> 00:34:28,103
Obviously, everyone
hated the ceviche.
526
00:34:28,127 --> 00:34:29,496
I read the suggestion box.
527
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,150
I'm gonna stop you right there.
528
00:34:31,174 --> 00:34:33,195
I see through this weak act.
529
00:34:33,219 --> 00:34:37,591
You may have fooled Colossus
with this nice guy shit...
530
00:34:37,615 --> 00:34:38,810
but not me.
531
00:34:38,834 --> 00:34:39,941
Don't be mean.
532
00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:41,334
Back off, NTW.
533
00:34:41,358 --> 00:34:43,597
No, no, no. Let her go.
534
00:34:43,621 --> 00:34:44,816
Let her go, it's okay.
535
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,426
She has a right to be skeptical.
536
00:34:46,450 --> 00:34:49,061
Look at me.
I'm an easy target.
537
00:34:50,236 --> 00:34:51,648
You know, historically,
538
00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:53,607
mischief has been my mistress...
539
00:34:53,631 --> 00:34:56,286
so I understand, you know.
But I like to think...
540
00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:01,223
that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.
541
00:35:01,247 --> 00:35:03,327
I like to think that I've
rubbed off around you, too.
542
00:35:05,295 --> 00:35:07,273
A lot.
543
00:35:07,297 --> 00:35:09,971
And for the first time
in a long while...
544
00:35:09,995 --> 00:35:11,170
I like me.
545
00:35:13,390 --> 00:35:15,934
I accept your apology. I never apologized.
546
00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:17,544
I was talking to your heart.
547
00:35:17,568 --> 00:35:19,981
See? You're not
lost cause you thought.
548
00:35:20,005 --> 00:35:23,245
I'm proud. You're everything
I knew you can be.
549
00:35:23,269 --> 00:35:25,291
Thank you, Colossus.
550
00:35:25,315 --> 00:35:26,945
Just trying to be
the world's best X-Man.
551
00:35:26,969 --> 00:35:28,405
Sorry, X-Person.
552
00:35:29,972 --> 00:35:32,689
Hmm. Something wrong
with the soap.
553
00:35:32,713 --> 00:35:34,343
It's fine.
554
00:35:34,367 --> 00:35:36,587
I just filled it. Give it
a few more pumps there.
555
00:35:37,806 --> 00:35:40,306
Now, if you'll excuse me...
556
00:35:40,330 --> 00:35:42,134
it's dust bunny season...
557
00:35:42,158 --> 00:35:43,159
and I'm hunting wabbits.
558
00:35:43,899 --> 00:35:44,987
Bye, Wade!
559
00:35:47,163 --> 00:35:49,730
Fuck.
Fuck you.
560
00:36:01,394 --> 00:36:03,982
No one is born perfect.
561
00:36:04,006 --> 00:36:06,027
But you can be.
562
00:36:06,051 --> 00:36:08,401
I know you're doing
what comes naturally.
563
00:36:12,710 --> 00:36:14,538
You can't help yourself.
564
00:36:18,411 --> 00:36:20,520
But you can.
565
00:36:20,544 --> 00:36:23,653
It takes work, discipline...
566
00:36:23,677 --> 00:36:24,916
and treatment.
567
00:36:24,940 --> 00:36:26,637
Your abilities...
568
00:36:28,595 --> 00:36:31,400
I know how seductive they are.
569
00:36:31,424 --> 00:36:34,577
How powerful they make you feel.
570
00:36:34,601 --> 00:36:37,145
But you must learn
never to use them...
571
00:36:37,169 --> 00:36:39,780
so they will never use you.
572
00:36:46,004 --> 00:36:47,614
Please don't cry.
573
00:36:48,441 --> 00:36:50,071
I'm going to help.
574
00:36:50,095 --> 00:36:53,292
I'm gonna make you feel
what you should feel.
575
00:36:53,316 --> 00:36:55,860
How you need to feel...
576
00:36:55,884 --> 00:36:59,254
every time you're tempted
to act upon your urges.
577
00:36:59,278 --> 00:37:03,195
Suck my mutant dick,
you four-eyed fuck.
578
00:37:17,601 --> 00:37:18,819
Wade.
579
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,407
Wade!
580
00:37:21,431 --> 00:37:23,539
Come in!
Hey, I was just doing
581
00:37:23,563 --> 00:37:25,498
a little bit
of light reading here...
582
00:37:25,522 --> 00:37:26,978
We have mission.
583
00:37:27,002 --> 00:37:28,544
Well, you guys be
safe out there.
584
00:37:28,568 --> 00:37:29,850
I'll be praying for you.
585
00:37:29,874 --> 00:37:32,268
No, I want you to join.
586
00:37:33,486 --> 00:37:34,681
I'm sorry, what?
587
00:37:34,705 --> 00:37:36,335
You heard me.
588
00:37:36,359 --> 00:37:38,772
Trust me,
that's a terrible idea.
589
00:37:38,796 --> 00:37:39,904
I'm really not ready.
590
00:37:39,928 --> 00:37:41,644
You are ready. I'm not.
591
00:37:41,668 --> 00:37:43,559
Be at the X-Jet in five.
592
00:37:43,583 --> 00:37:44,778
I can do thirty.
593
00:37:44,802 --> 00:37:46,780
Now. I can do now.
594
00:37:46,804 --> 00:37:48,042
Final offer.
595
00:37:48,066 --> 00:37:50,653
Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.
596
00:37:50,677 --> 00:37:52,699
Live here
at a breaking news situation
597
00:37:52,723 --> 00:37:55,397
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.
598
00:37:55,421 --> 00:37:57,399
A mutant boy
is appearing to have
599
00:37:57,423 --> 00:37:58,923
some sort of an incident...
600
00:37:58,947 --> 00:38:00,446
with police here behind me.
Get away from me!
601
00:38:00,470 --> 00:38:02,927
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.
602
00:38:02,951 --> 00:38:04,406
There are open fires. Fuck off! Stay back!
603
00:38:04,430 --> 00:38:05,494
A scene of absolute chaos here.
604
00:38:05,518 --> 00:38:06,669
Calm down.
605
00:38:06,693 --> 00:38:09,305
I'll burn you!
You stay back!
606
00:38:10,045 --> 00:38:11,848
Get away from me!
607
00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:14,353
You wanna fucking die?
608
00:38:29,368 --> 00:38:32,608
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...
609
00:38:32,632 --> 00:38:34,175
Scatter!
610
00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:36,221
...with what appears
to be a trainee.
611
00:38:36,245 --> 00:38:39,267
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...
612
00:38:39,291 --> 00:38:40,486
We're the X-Men!
613
00:38:40,510 --> 00:38:43,054
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.
614
00:38:43,078 --> 00:38:45,621
So, respect.
615
00:38:45,645 --> 00:38:46,907
At ease, Officer.
616
00:38:48,474 --> 00:38:49,998
What are you doing?
617
00:38:50,476 --> 00:38:51,801
My job!
618
00:38:51,825 --> 00:38:53,238
You're the one who said
I was ready,
619
00:38:53,262 --> 00:38:54,804
and I frankly disagreed
with you.
620
00:38:54,828 --> 00:38:57,242
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.
621
00:38:57,266 --> 00:38:59,703
Like Beyonce says, "Please...
622
00:39:00,530 --> 00:39:01,942
"Please, stop cheating on me."
623
00:39:01,966 --> 00:39:03,074
Hey!
624
00:39:03,098 --> 00:39:04,510
This is the fifth incident.
625
00:39:04,534 --> 00:39:06,773
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.
626
00:39:06,797 --> 00:39:08,470
Russell belongs in our care.
627
00:39:08,494 --> 00:39:10,298
Not in prison.
I assure you...
628
00:39:10,322 --> 00:39:11,473
we have everything
under control.
629
00:39:11,497 --> 00:39:12,605
Stay back!
I'll burn you!
630
00:39:12,629 --> 00:39:13,867
Not getting a real
631
00:39:13,891 --> 00:39:16,000
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.
632
00:39:16,024 --> 00:39:18,089
It is Glen, isn't it? Daniel.
633
00:39:18,113 --> 00:39:19,351
I'll ask the questions, Miguel.
634
00:39:19,375 --> 00:39:20,743
Let me talk to the kid.
635
00:39:20,767 --> 00:39:25,598
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.
636
00:39:27,339 --> 00:39:28,403
You wanna die?
637
00:39:28,427 --> 00:39:29,622
This kid's adorable.
638
00:39:29,646 --> 00:39:30,666
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.
639
00:39:30,690 --> 00:39:31,885
I'll burn your balls off!
640
00:39:31,909 --> 00:39:35,280
First day.
I'm so nervous!
641
00:39:35,304 --> 00:39:36,890
Did you just say
"hollow points"?
642
00:39:36,914 --> 00:39:38,283
Yeah, probably should've
643
00:39:38,307 --> 00:39:40,352
brought a Super Soaker.
644
00:39:40,918 --> 00:39:41,919
Hi, there!
645
00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:45,725
Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
646
00:39:45,749 --> 00:39:49,231
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.
647
00:39:50,623 --> 00:39:52,297
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
648
00:39:52,321 --> 00:39:55,474
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.
649
00:39:55,498 --> 00:39:57,041
Okay? Let's just talk!
650
00:39:57,065 --> 00:39:58,694
It's Russell, right?
651
00:39:58,718 --> 00:40:01,001
Firefist. Firefist.
652
00:40:01,025 --> 00:40:03,264
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?
653
00:40:03,288 --> 00:40:05,088
Just the fist, or all the way
up to the elbow?
654
00:40:09,773 --> 00:40:12,447
Definitely all
the way up to the elbow.
655
00:40:12,471 --> 00:40:15,320
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.
656
00:40:15,344 --> 00:40:18,149
You stole that from Robocop!
That's from Robocop!
657
00:40:18,173 --> 00:40:19,846
Just stand down!
658
00:40:19,870 --> 00:40:21,978
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...
659
00:40:23,308 --> 00:40:25,852
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!
660
00:40:30,359 --> 00:40:34,382
Oh, shit!
That fucking does it!
661
00:40:34,406 --> 00:40:35,818
Put your hands behind your knees
662
00:40:35,842 --> 00:40:37,342
and get down
on your head! Now!
663
00:40:37,366 --> 00:40:39,648
Wade! What was first rule?
664
00:40:39,672 --> 00:40:41,650
Label everything
in the refrigerator!
665
00:40:41,674 --> 00:40:44,305
Do not escalate!
Rules are meant to be broken!
666
00:40:44,329 --> 00:40:45,785
That's the exact opposite
667
00:40:45,809 --> 00:40:47,158
of what they're meant for!
668
00:40:48,203 --> 00:40:50,181
Fuck! Fine!
669
00:40:50,205 --> 00:40:51,834
I'll start from the beginning.
670
00:40:51,858 --> 00:40:54,228
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.
671
00:40:54,252 --> 00:40:56,211
Trainee! Shut it!
672
00:40:57,168 --> 00:40:59,431
Look, I get it.
673
00:41:00,606 --> 00:41:02,217
All right, you're scared.
674
00:41:02,782 --> 00:41:03,890
Alone.
675
00:41:03,914 --> 00:41:05,021
You got no family.
676
00:41:05,045 --> 00:41:06,110
I didn't have a family, either.
677
00:41:06,134 --> 00:41:07,894
You live in this dump.
Guess what?
678
00:41:07,918 --> 00:41:09,615
I used to live in a shithole
just like it.
679
00:41:10,529 --> 00:41:11,898
But you know something?
680
00:41:11,922 --> 00:41:13,682
A wise woman once said to me...
681
00:41:13,706 --> 00:41:15,206
"Speak up."
682
00:41:15,230 --> 00:41:18,078
"I can't hear you with that
pity dick in your mouth."
683
00:41:18,102 --> 00:41:19,732
Too much? I went too far.
684
00:41:27,677 --> 00:41:29,220
That was effervescent.
685
00:41:29,244 --> 00:41:31,526
Stay in school, kid.
686
00:41:31,550 --> 00:41:33,398
Or don't. I didn't.
687
00:41:33,422 --> 00:41:35,051
And I'm an X-Man.
688
00:41:35,075 --> 00:41:36,227
Trainee.
689
00:41:36,251 --> 00:41:37,619
Fuck it!
690
00:41:37,643 --> 00:41:39,384
Superhero landing coming up!
691
00:41:42,996 --> 00:41:44,670
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!
692
00:41:44,694 --> 00:41:46,802
That is so not practical.
693
00:42:07,282 --> 00:42:09,434
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.
694
00:42:09,458 --> 00:42:10,609
Trainee!
695
00:42:10,633 --> 00:42:11,871
Trainee!
696
00:42:11,895 --> 00:42:13,699
Get a power
restraint on him. Now!
697
00:42:13,723 --> 00:42:16,943
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.
698
00:42:18,815 --> 00:42:20,358
What's that do?
699
00:42:20,382 --> 00:42:21,924
Power-dampening collar.
700
00:42:21,948 --> 00:42:23,274
Shuts down all mutant abilities.
701
00:42:23,298 --> 00:42:26,146
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.
702
00:42:26,170 --> 00:42:29,193
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.
703
00:42:29,217 --> 00:42:30,435
Thank you!
704
00:42:32,307 --> 00:42:34,546
That was absolutely thrilling.
705
00:42:34,570 --> 00:42:36,809
True heroism in action.
706
00:42:36,833 --> 00:42:38,487
We are in your debt.
707
00:42:39,314 --> 00:42:40,987
We can take it from here.
708
00:42:41,011 --> 00:42:43,250
Take me to the Ice Box, please!
709
00:42:43,274 --> 00:42:44,469
Anywhere's better than here.
710
00:42:44,493 --> 00:42:45,774
Believe me, son,
711
00:42:45,798 --> 00:42:47,559
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.
712
00:42:47,583 --> 00:42:50,214
That place makes Hitler's anus
look like Waikiki.
713
00:42:50,238 --> 00:42:52,128
Let's get you inside, young man.
714
00:42:52,152 --> 00:42:54,174
No, wait, wait. Wait.
715
00:42:54,198 --> 00:42:55,678
You guys stay there.
716
00:43:05,775 --> 00:43:07,385
Those guys hurt you?
717
00:43:08,821 --> 00:43:09,866
Who?
718
00:43:11,911 --> 00:43:14,610
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?
719
00:43:16,089 --> 00:43:17,569
Both of 'em?
720
00:43:21,312 --> 00:43:23,029
Oh, fuck it.
721
00:43:23,053 --> 00:43:24,639
Four or five moments!
722
00:43:24,663 --> 00:43:25,727
I'm sorry?
723
00:43:25,751 --> 00:43:28,928
Four or five moments!
724
00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:32,932
That's all it takes
to be a hero.
725
00:43:33,977 --> 00:43:36,303
People think
you wake up a hero...
726
00:43:36,327 --> 00:43:38,479
brush your teeth a hero...
727
00:43:38,503 --> 00:43:41,439
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.
728
00:43:42,855 --> 00:43:46,555
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!
729
00:43:47,904 --> 00:43:49,577
A few moments...
730
00:43:49,601 --> 00:43:52,319
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.
731
00:43:55,781 --> 00:43:56,913
No!
732
00:43:59,568 --> 00:44:00,849
Stand down!
Hold your fire!
733
00:44:00,873 --> 00:44:03,243
Wade, what did you do? Colossus, no!
734
00:44:03,267 --> 00:44:06,551
You were right, Wade.
You are not X-Men material.
735
00:44:06,575 --> 00:44:08,901
No shit, Shiny Gandhi!
736
00:44:08,925 --> 00:44:10,424
What was your first clue?
737
00:44:10,448 --> 00:44:13,601
The hollow point
through that fuckhead's face?
738
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:14,950
That kid was abused!
739
00:44:14,974 --> 00:44:17,039
You can always tell!
We have rules!
740
00:44:17,063 --> 00:44:19,825
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!
741
00:44:19,849 --> 00:44:22,828
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!
742
00:44:22,852 --> 00:44:24,699
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!
743
00:44:24,723 --> 00:44:27,770
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.
744
00:44:30,903 --> 00:44:33,229
Okay, get these guys in the pod.
745
00:44:33,253 --> 00:44:35,449
Take them to the Ice Box.
746
00:44:56,059 --> 00:44:57,060
Hey, baby!
747
00:44:58,148 --> 00:45:00,431
I wonder what gang I'll be in.
748
00:45:00,455 --> 00:45:01,954
Yeah!
749
00:45:01,978 --> 00:45:04,241
Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
Hi.
750
00:45:06,112 --> 00:45:07,525
I've always seen myself as
751
00:45:07,549 --> 00:45:08,941
more of an East
Coast Hufflepuff.
752
00:45:10,465 --> 00:45:13,444
I've made a critical error
on my Airbnb reservation.
753
00:45:13,468 --> 00:45:17,341
This is not what the website
looked like at all.
754
00:45:18,908 --> 00:45:20,668
I love the decor though.
755
00:45:20,692 --> 00:45:22,670
I had no idea
hopeless was a color.
756
00:45:22,694 --> 00:45:23,956
Hard left, douchebag.
757
00:45:28,483 --> 00:45:29,701
Please, after you.
758
00:45:31,834 --> 00:45:34,552
Another disgusting minority
off the streets.
759
00:45:34,576 --> 00:45:35,727
We'll sleep well tonight.
760
00:45:35,751 --> 00:45:36,815
Let's get a bagel.
761
00:45:40,059 --> 00:45:42,888
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!
762
00:46:18,663 --> 00:46:20,554
You're a long way
from your superpowers.
763
00:46:20,578 --> 00:46:23,035
Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.
764
00:46:23,059 --> 00:46:25,559
Not to worry, we're old friends.
765
00:46:25,583 --> 00:46:26,821
Fuck!
766
00:46:26,845 --> 00:46:29,041
I wanted to be a superhero.
767
00:46:29,065 --> 00:46:31,043
Always wanted a real super suit.
768
00:46:31,067 --> 00:46:32,653
What happened?
769
00:46:32,677 --> 00:46:34,797
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?
770
00:46:35,463 --> 00:46:36,962
Never.
771
00:46:36,986 --> 00:46:38,770
The industry discriminates.
772
00:46:39,858 --> 00:46:41,967
Fuck superheroes.
773
00:46:41,991 --> 00:46:44,273
The thing that
pisses me off the most...
774
00:46:44,297 --> 00:46:46,125
I never stood up
for myself in there.
775
00:46:47,736 --> 00:46:50,671
My whole life.
776
00:46:50,695 --> 00:46:54,177
I've been waiting for someone
to come and save me.
777
00:46:56,571 --> 00:46:59,530
Nobody's gonna sacrifice
anything for me.
778
00:47:03,665 --> 00:47:05,928
I gotta start taking care
of myself.
779
00:47:07,277 --> 00:47:10,038
I have a mission now.
780
00:47:10,062 --> 00:47:12,737
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...
781
00:47:12,761 --> 00:47:15,130
burn the headmaster alive...
782
00:47:15,154 --> 00:47:18,873
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.
783
00:47:18,897 --> 00:47:21,334
Aw. That's, like,
my favorite part of the Bible.
784
00:47:23,075 --> 00:47:25,576
I don't have
a sock puppet on me...
785
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,665
but what did he do to you?
786
00:47:27,689 --> 00:47:29,318
Did he taste the rainbow?
787
00:47:29,342 --> 00:47:31,388
I'd whisper it,
but Skittles would sue us.
788
00:47:32,563 --> 00:47:34,585
Fucker hates mutants.
789
00:47:34,609 --> 00:47:36,587
He tried to beat
the genes out of us.
790
00:47:36,611 --> 00:47:39,135
Nothing worse than
a "pray the gay away" type guy.
791
00:47:39,918 --> 00:47:41,311
Sick piece of shit.
792
00:47:42,704 --> 00:47:46,403
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...
793
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,077
and we'll make him our bitch!
794
00:47:52,975 --> 00:47:54,343
What was that?
795
00:47:54,367 --> 00:47:56,955
That is the biggest guy in here.
796
00:47:56,979 --> 00:47:59,087
Fun fact about the Ice Box...
797
00:47:59,111 --> 00:48:00,959
though no one's ever seen it,
798
00:48:00,983 --> 00:48:03,222
they keep a monster
in the basement.
799
00:48:03,246 --> 00:48:05,006
Right next to a huge,
800
00:48:05,030 --> 00:48:06,554
steaming bowl of foreshadowing.
801
00:48:07,206 --> 00:48:08,207
Look.
802
00:48:09,208 --> 00:48:11,491
I can't protect you.
803
00:48:11,515 --> 00:48:12,666
With this collar on,
804
00:48:12,690 --> 00:48:15,843
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.
805
00:48:15,867 --> 00:48:19,368
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.
806
00:48:19,392 --> 00:48:21,501
Now, if you'll excuse me...
807
00:48:21,525 --> 00:48:24,722
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.
808
00:48:24,746 --> 00:48:27,246
I'll start by making us a shank.
809
00:48:27,270 --> 00:48:29,204
Good listening. I stole that guard's pen...
810
00:48:29,228 --> 00:48:31,206
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,
811
00:48:31,230 --> 00:48:32,643
if you know what I'm saying.
812
00:48:32,667 --> 00:48:35,147
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.
813
00:48:37,236 --> 00:48:39,606
I know it's in there,
I just need to get it out.
814
00:48:39,630 --> 00:48:41,739
Oh, Jesus Christ.
815
00:48:41,763 --> 00:48:44,437
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.
816
00:48:44,461 --> 00:48:46,874
Do they make Purell
for your ears?
817
00:48:51,381 --> 00:48:52,750
And to update you
818
00:48:52,774 --> 00:48:54,186
on the story reported earlier,
819
00:48:54,210 --> 00:48:55,927
after a lengthy standoff
820
00:48:55,951 --> 00:48:58,582
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...
821
00:48:58,606 --> 00:48:59,931
two mutants were arrested
822
00:48:59,955 --> 00:49:01,715
and transported
to the Ice Box...
823
00:49:01,739 --> 00:49:03,219
Entering repair mode.
824
00:49:07,571 --> 00:49:09,157
...several
police cars were destroyed
825
00:49:09,181 --> 00:49:11,009
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.
826
00:49:32,248 --> 00:49:34,269
Cells seven and nine
827
00:49:34,293 --> 00:49:37,708
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
828
00:49:37,732 --> 00:49:39,231
Cells seven and nine
829
00:49:39,255 --> 00:49:41,997
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
830
00:49:43,738 --> 00:49:45,130
Psst!
831
00:49:47,437 --> 00:49:49,807
Don't do that.
832
00:49:49,831 --> 00:49:52,723
What? Why are you
winking at me?
833
00:49:56,315 --> 00:49:57,728
I got your back.
834
00:49:57,752 --> 00:49:58,990
Oh, my God.
835
00:49:59,014 --> 00:50:00,556
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.
836
00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:02,495
Just leave me alone, kid.
837
00:50:03,627 --> 00:50:04,672
Oh, great.
838
00:50:06,543 --> 00:50:09,087
Well, hello there, new fish.
839
00:50:09,111 --> 00:50:12,177
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.
840
00:50:12,201 --> 00:50:14,483
I've done some
light catalog work...
841
00:50:14,507 --> 00:50:17,008
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.
842
00:50:17,032 --> 00:50:19,837
I was talking to him.Oh.
843
00:50:19,861 --> 00:50:23,275
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.
844
00:50:23,299 --> 00:50:25,973
Black Tom Cassidy. White Wade Wilson.
845
00:50:25,997 --> 00:50:29,455
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?
846
00:50:29,479 --> 00:50:32,066
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.
847
00:50:32,090 --> 00:50:34,678
You don't look like much to me.
848
00:50:34,702 --> 00:50:37,158
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...
849
00:50:37,182 --> 00:50:39,247
find the biggest guy
and make him your...
850
00:50:43,058 --> 00:50:45,297
Second biggest guy.
851
00:50:45,321 --> 00:50:47,778
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.
852
00:50:47,802 --> 00:50:51,390
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!
853
00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:53,261
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?
854
00:50:54,547 --> 00:50:56,787
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.
855
00:50:56,811 --> 00:50:59,180
No, I didn't!
He's my friend!
856
00:50:59,204 --> 00:51:01,467
Zip it. We're not friends.
857
00:51:03,165 --> 00:51:04,445
You're about to get
dick-slapped.
858
00:51:16,831 --> 00:51:18,591
I had so much fun!
You were like...
859
00:51:18,615 --> 00:51:20,724
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."
860
00:51:20,748 --> 00:51:22,508
Just let me die in peace.
861
00:51:22,532 --> 00:51:24,684
We make a great team!
862
00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:27,295
Oh, God! We're not a team.
863
00:51:27,319 --> 00:51:31,691
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.
864
00:51:31,715 --> 00:51:34,109
We're not partners or friends.
865
00:51:35,545 --> 00:51:37,653
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.
866
00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:39,873
It ends with me
dying of cancer...
867
00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:43,790
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.
868
00:51:45,207 --> 00:51:46,837
There's only one person
in this world
869
00:51:46,861 --> 00:51:48,645
that I care about,
and she's gone.
870
00:51:50,429 --> 00:51:53,626
You wanna survive?
871
00:51:53,650 --> 00:51:56,977
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...
872
00:51:57,001 --> 00:51:58,873
and make friends with them.
873
00:52:00,178 --> 00:52:01,789
Make friends with someone.
874
00:52:03,007 --> 00:52:04,617
Anyone but me.
875
00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:08,099
Maybe even Black Tim.
876
00:52:09,013 --> 00:52:10,643
Black Evan, I don't know.
877
00:52:10,667 --> 00:52:13,148
All I remember is
he was African-American.
878
00:52:58,628 --> 00:53:00,736
System malfunctioning.
879
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:04,131
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
880
00:53:04,155 --> 00:53:06,438
Back in your cells, you filthy
mutants! Get in there!
881
00:53:06,462 --> 00:53:09,769
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
882
00:53:10,945 --> 00:53:12,385
Searching.
883
00:53:13,904 --> 00:53:16,254
Cell 04 located.
884
00:53:17,647 --> 00:53:19,799
Door won't open!
885
00:53:19,823 --> 00:53:21,433
On your fucking knees!
886
00:53:58,383 --> 00:54:00,081
That was our cell.
887
00:54:02,213 --> 00:54:04,539
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker
888
00:54:04,563 --> 00:54:05,738
with a Winter Soldier arm?
889
00:54:15,009 --> 00:54:16,924
Get away from me, kid!
890
00:54:24,540 --> 00:54:25,758
Listen to me! Go!
891
00:54:31,242 --> 00:54:32,548
Hello, Russell.
892
00:56:16,130 --> 00:56:17,131
Who are you?
893
00:56:18,045 --> 00:56:19,263
I'm Batman.
894
00:56:30,709 --> 00:56:31,754
Ooh!
895
00:56:36,498 --> 00:56:39,370
Oh. That's got some zip.
896
00:56:47,900 --> 00:56:50,686
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.
897
00:56:51,382 --> 00:56:52,968
Talk!
898
00:56:52,992 --> 00:56:54,796
What kind of
spineless shit stick
899
00:56:54,820 --> 00:56:56,170
tries to kill
a 14-year-old boy?
900
00:56:57,475 --> 00:56:59,018
You might wanna start talking!
901
00:56:59,042 --> 00:57:01,282
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!
902
00:57:02,654 --> 00:57:04,676
The name's Cable.
903
00:57:04,700 --> 00:57:07,355
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.
904
00:57:08,051 --> 00:57:09,376
Oh!
905
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,378
So, you're from the future.
906
00:57:11,402 --> 00:57:13,380
I have three questions then.
907
00:57:13,404 --> 00:57:17,036
One, is dubstep still a thing?
908
00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:19,560
Two, do people still homebrew?
909
00:57:19,584 --> 00:57:22,152
And three,
does Dopinder ever find love?
910
00:58:06,327 --> 00:58:08,131
Dubstep's for pussies.
911
00:58:08,155 --> 00:58:09,480
You're so dark!
912
00:58:09,504 --> 00:58:11,593
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?
913
00:58:12,333 --> 00:58:13,919
I love dubstep!
914
00:58:40,187 --> 00:58:41,642
Is that a fanny pack?
915
00:58:41,666 --> 00:58:44,234
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.
916
00:58:45,235 --> 00:58:47,344
Something to remember you by.
917
00:58:47,368 --> 00:58:51,174
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.
918
00:58:51,198 --> 00:58:53,548
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!
919
00:59:03,297 --> 00:59:05,405
Why are you protecting the kid?
920
00:59:06,691 --> 00:59:09,017
I don't give a fuck about him...
921
00:59:09,041 --> 00:59:11,435
and his Are You My Mother?
Complex!
922
00:59:13,785 --> 00:59:15,047
What's this one do?
923
00:59:29,236 --> 00:59:30,865
In every film, there's a moment
924
00:59:30,889 --> 00:59:33,303
when the hero hits rock bottom.
925
00:59:33,327 --> 00:59:35,305
InCool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's
926
00:59:35,329 --> 00:59:37,307
prized bobsled broke.
927
00:59:37,331 --> 00:59:40,092
InHuman Centipede,
it was when those people...
928
00:59:40,116 --> 00:59:41,702
signed on to be in that movie.
929
00:59:41,726 --> 00:59:43,878
But in this film, well...
930
00:59:43,902 --> 00:59:45,140
you're looking at it.
931
00:59:45,164 --> 00:59:46,905
On your fucking knees, mutant.
932
00:59:49,821 --> 00:59:50,822
Rock...
933
00:59:54,870 --> 00:59:56,350
meet bottom.
934
01:00:07,056 --> 01:00:08,207
I love you, Wade Wilson.
935
01:00:08,231 --> 01:00:09,406
Ness?
936
01:00:10,451 --> 01:00:11,930
Hey, Ness!
937
01:00:12,801 --> 01:00:14,648
Ness, can you let me in?
938
01:00:14,672 --> 01:00:16,761
Please! Please.
939
01:00:18,937 --> 01:00:20,088
Jesus.
940
01:00:22,985 --> 01:00:24,745
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.
941
01:00:24,769 --> 01:00:26,617
I'm at the end of my rope.
942
01:00:29,078 --> 01:00:31,448
Then I joined the X-Men.
943
01:00:31,472 --> 01:00:33,300
I went to prison. I, uh...
944
01:00:37,391 --> 01:00:38,914
Is it the kid?
945
01:00:40,959 --> 01:00:43,875
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.
946
01:00:45,312 --> 01:00:46,313
The kid!
947
01:00:59,935 --> 01:01:01,565
That's exactly what she meant.
948
01:01:01,589 --> 01:01:03,001
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.
949
01:01:03,025 --> 01:01:04,916
I'm not gonna abandon this kid.
950
01:01:04,940 --> 01:01:07,571
He's never had anyone, ever.
951
01:01:07,595 --> 01:01:08,963
I need to be selfless.
952
01:01:08,987 --> 01:01:10,965
Yeah, but what does that mean?
953
01:01:10,989 --> 01:01:14,273
It means I'm gonna save Russell.
954
01:01:14,297 --> 01:01:15,840
Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...
955
01:01:15,864 --> 01:01:18,886
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.
956
01:01:18,910 --> 01:01:20,975
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."
957
01:01:20,999 --> 01:01:22,542
I literally don't know
what that means.
958
01:01:22,566 --> 01:01:23,761
Jesus Christ.
959
01:01:23,785 --> 01:01:26,546
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...
960
01:01:26,570 --> 01:01:28,418
those muties
are being transferred
961
01:01:28,442 --> 01:01:30,289
to a supermax, 80 miles away.
962
01:01:30,313 --> 01:01:32,160
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.
963
01:01:32,184 --> 01:01:34,380
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?
964
01:01:34,404 --> 01:01:36,426
We're talking about
an armored convoy...
965
01:01:36,450 --> 01:01:39,080
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...
966
01:01:39,104 --> 01:01:41,474
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.
967
01:01:41,498 --> 01:01:42,997
You know what we need to do?
968
01:01:43,021 --> 01:01:44,912
We need to build a fucking team.
969
01:01:44,936 --> 01:01:47,045
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...
970
01:01:47,069 --> 01:01:48,481
and young enough
so they can carry
971
01:01:48,505 --> 01:01:49,700
this franchise 10 to 12 years.
972
01:01:49,724 --> 01:01:51,615
A team of
highly-skilled motherfuckers.
973
01:01:51,639 --> 01:01:54,705
I'm talking about some
Ocean's 14shit. Rogue Two.
974
01:01:54,729 --> 01:01:57,185
John Wick 3,but with
the original director.
975
01:01:57,209 --> 01:01:59,144
My body is an
instrument of death.
976
01:01:59,168 --> 01:02:00,537
Not now, Dopinder.
977
01:02:00,561 --> 01:02:02,060
I could be of great use.
978
01:02:02,084 --> 01:02:03,651
What's your superpower?
979
01:02:05,479 --> 01:02:07,152
Courage. That's adorable.
980
01:02:07,176 --> 01:02:08,849
Do you have the courage
to check and see...
981
01:02:08,873 --> 01:02:11,286
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?
982
01:02:11,310 --> 01:02:12,375
Yes, sir.
983
01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:13,680
I'm sorry you had to see that,
984
01:02:13,704 --> 01:02:16,074
although I'm glad you heard it.
985
01:02:16,098 --> 01:02:18,032
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.
986
01:02:18,056 --> 01:02:20,339
But we're not paying
medical or dental.
987
01:02:20,363 --> 01:02:22,409
It's time to get back
on Linkedln.
988
01:02:59,271 --> 01:03:00,945
Attention, all inmates!
989
01:03:00,969 --> 01:03:03,426
Transport to Cross Force
Maximum Security
990
01:03:03,450 --> 01:03:04,949
Mutant Containment Facility...
991
01:03:04,973 --> 01:03:06,951
will begin at 0800 hours.
992
01:03:06,975 --> 01:03:08,996
Inspection of your cells
and out processing
993
01:03:09,020 --> 01:03:11,066
will begin at 0600.
994
01:03:19,378 --> 01:03:20,486
Oi.
995
01:03:20,510 --> 01:03:21,879
What the fuck do you want?
996
01:03:21,903 --> 01:03:23,750
That's my fucking pudding.
997
01:03:23,774 --> 01:03:25,796
Fuck your pudding! You like pudding?
998
01:03:46,797 --> 01:03:47,798
Hello?
999
01:03:50,105 --> 01:03:52,455
I know you're in there.
1000
01:04:08,123 --> 01:04:10,429
Must be hard
being the biggest guy in here.
1001
01:04:11,692 --> 01:04:14,018
Lonely at the top, eh?
1002
01:04:14,042 --> 01:04:16,000
They're moving us tomorrow.
1003
01:04:18,481 --> 01:04:20,265
Maybe I can get you out of here.
1004
01:04:21,484 --> 01:04:24,618
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.
1005
01:04:26,489 --> 01:04:28,230
We need a secret code.
1006
01:04:31,450 --> 01:04:33,888
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.
1007
01:04:41,156 --> 01:04:42,699
We're a team.
1008
01:04:42,723 --> 01:04:44,701
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.
1009
01:04:44,725 --> 01:04:48,400
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.
1010
01:04:48,424 --> 01:04:49,532
Supposedly, she can rap, too.
1011
01:04:49,556 --> 01:04:50,663
Yeah.
1012
01:04:50,687 --> 01:04:51,751
I like that.
1013
01:04:51,775 --> 01:04:53,448
Terrific,
these are all terrific.
1014
01:04:53,472 --> 01:04:55,233
Meet Bedlam.
1015
01:04:55,257 --> 01:04:57,540
Cool name! Superpowers?
1016
01:04:57,564 --> 01:04:59,106
I can distort electrical fields.
1017
01:05:00,305 --> 01:05:02,545
Including the one
inside your brain...
1018
01:05:02,569 --> 01:05:05,286
causing anxiety, confusion...
1019
01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:07,332
pain.
1020
01:05:07,356 --> 01:05:09,464
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.
1021
01:05:09,488 --> 01:05:10,620
We can use him.
1022
01:05:12,404 --> 01:05:14,078
I'm Zeitgeist.
1023
01:05:14,102 --> 01:05:15,427
Cool. I like it.
1024
01:05:15,451 --> 01:05:16,733
So you have the power
1025
01:05:16,757 --> 01:05:19,107
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?
1026
01:05:20,151 --> 01:05:21,346
No.
1027
01:05:21,370 --> 01:05:22,956
No, I spit acidic vomit.
1028
01:05:22,980 --> 01:05:24,131
Oh.Do you want me
1029
01:05:24,155 --> 01:05:25,568
to demonstrate?
No!
1030
01:05:25,592 --> 01:05:27,091
We'll take your word for it.
1031
01:05:27,115 --> 01:05:29,267
Thank you. Yeah. Listen,
we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?
1032
01:05:29,291 --> 01:05:31,902
And this is the Vanisher.
1033
01:05:35,253 --> 01:05:36,254
But...
1034
01:05:37,429 --> 01:05:38,929
Vanisher!
1035
01:05:41,433 --> 01:05:43,087
Nice! Right?
1036
01:05:44,393 --> 01:05:45,544
He's not here, is he?
1037
01:05:45,568 --> 01:05:47,091
He may be running late.
1038
01:05:48,702 --> 01:05:51,550
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.
1039
01:05:51,574 --> 01:05:52,812
That's good, yeah.
1040
01:05:52,836 --> 01:05:54,988
"Rusty" is terrible.Toughie.
1041
01:05:55,012 --> 01:05:57,861
So, uh, where are you from?
The planet Mojo World.
1042
01:05:57,885 --> 01:05:59,950
So you're an alien, I guess. Bad name.
1043
01:05:59,974 --> 01:06:01,691
How does that, uh, help us?
1044
01:06:01,715 --> 01:06:04,650
I'm basically better
than you at everything.
1045
01:06:04,674 --> 01:06:06,391
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people
1046
01:06:06,415 --> 01:06:08,001
that are worse than me
at everything.
1047
01:06:08,025 --> 01:06:10,264
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.
1048
01:06:10,288 --> 01:06:12,223
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.
1049
01:06:12,247 --> 01:06:13,398
Isn't that Canada?
1050
01:06:13,422 --> 01:06:15,816
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!
1051
01:06:16,991 --> 01:06:18,533
Meet... Domino.
1052
01:06:18,557 --> 01:06:20,623
What's your shtick?
I'm lucky.
1053
01:06:20,647 --> 01:06:22,059
That's not a superpower.
1054
01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:23,234
Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.
1055
01:06:23,258 --> 01:06:24,539
Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
1056
01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:25,628
Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.
1057
01:06:25,652 --> 01:06:26,716
Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
1058
01:06:26,740 --> 01:06:27,760
Yeah, it is. Really isn't.
1059
01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:29,022
No, it isn't.Yes, it is.
1060
01:06:29,046 --> 01:06:30,241
Told you.
1061
01:06:30,265 --> 01:06:31,634
Get out of my head!
1062
01:06:31,658 --> 01:06:33,287
I'm not in your head.
1063
01:06:33,311 --> 01:06:34,680
I'm in an
11-year-old's bedroom.
1064
01:06:34,704 --> 01:06:35,855
Well, if you're so lucky,
1065
01:06:35,879 --> 01:06:37,509
then what are you
doing here with us?
1066
01:06:37,533 --> 01:06:38,684
I don't know yet.
1067
01:06:38,708 --> 01:06:40,251
What's that supposed to mean?
1068
01:06:40,275 --> 01:06:41,556
There's a reason why I'm here,
and I'll know when I know.
1069
01:06:41,580 --> 01:06:43,384
Everything usually
just kind of works out for me.
1070
01:06:43,408 --> 01:06:45,236
Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.
1071
01:06:46,542 --> 01:06:47,693
I don't know who that is.
1072
01:06:47,717 --> 01:06:49,216
You're hired.
1073
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:50,304
Lucky me.
1074
01:06:50,328 --> 01:06:51,547
I like her!
1075
01:06:52,679 --> 01:06:54,004
And last, but not least...
1076
01:06:54,028 --> 01:06:55,159
Peter.
1077
01:06:56,552 --> 01:06:59,096
Am I getting
catfished here or...?
1078
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:01,054
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?
1079
01:07:01,078 --> 01:07:02,708
No.
1080
01:07:02,732 --> 01:07:04,449
I don't have one.
1081
01:07:04,473 --> 01:07:05,798
Um, I just saw the ad.
1082
01:07:05,822 --> 01:07:07,626
No superpowers at all?
1083
01:07:07,650 --> 01:07:10,740
Uh, I have both
Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.
1084
01:07:11,262 --> 01:07:12,631
Ow! Oh!
1085
01:07:12,655 --> 01:07:13,806
That's all the diabetes.
1086
01:07:13,830 --> 01:07:15,155
Right?
Yeah, you got 'em all.
1087
01:07:15,179 --> 01:07:17,094
If you find a Type 3,
let us know.
1088
01:07:17,616 --> 01:07:18,681
Yeah.
1089
01:07:18,705 --> 01:07:19,812
You're in.
1090
01:07:19,836 --> 01:07:21,359
Yeah. Fuck!
1091
01:07:23,753 --> 01:07:25,146
It's fulfilling work.
1092
01:07:30,238 --> 01:07:31,543
Let's go!
1093
01:07:45,166 --> 01:07:47,797
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.
1094
01:07:47,821 --> 01:07:49,170
We are en route.
1095
01:07:56,786 --> 01:07:59,136
Peacetime makes people soft.
1096
01:08:00,747 --> 01:08:02,531
I was born into war.
1097
01:08:04,054 --> 01:08:05,229
Bred into it.
1098
01:08:06,361 --> 01:08:08,165
Okay.
1099
01:08:08,189 --> 01:08:10,539
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?
1100
01:08:12,497 --> 01:08:13,779
These restraints are pretty...
1101
01:08:13,803 --> 01:08:15,694
People think
they understand pain.
1102
01:08:15,718 --> 01:08:17,174
They have no concept of it
1103
01:08:17,198 --> 01:08:19,156
beyond their own
worst experience.
1104
01:08:20,767 --> 01:08:23,963
5 years old. That's what?
1105
01:08:23,987 --> 01:08:25,573
A bee sting.
1106
01:08:25,597 --> 01:08:26,749
Oh, yeah.
1107
01:08:26,773 --> 01:08:29,316
20 years old, shrapnel.
1108
01:08:29,340 --> 01:08:32,058
40 years old, disease.
1109
01:08:32,082 --> 01:08:36,671
Maybe the kind that leaves you
more machine than man.
1110
01:08:36,695 --> 01:08:38,108
Yeah, getting old's
not for sissies.
1111
01:08:38,132 --> 01:08:39,805
That's what my
Grandma Ginny used to...
1112
01:08:39,829 --> 01:08:41,004
I've got a list.
1113
01:08:41,788 --> 01:08:43,746
We're gonna work down it.
1114
01:08:44,442 --> 01:08:45,443
Together.
1115
01:08:46,618 --> 01:08:49,684
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.
1116
01:08:49,708 --> 01:08:52,035
Something that was not
meant to bend.
1117
01:08:52,059 --> 01:08:53,210
I'm gonna stop you right there
1118
01:08:53,234 --> 01:08:54,559
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.
1119
01:08:54,583 --> 01:08:55,908
I won't even make it to one.
1120
01:08:55,932 --> 01:08:57,692
I don't do well with pain,
you know.
1121
01:08:57,716 --> 01:09:00,086
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.
1122
01:09:00,110 --> 01:09:02,523
I cried when they
canceled Felicity.
1123
01:09:02,547 --> 01:09:04,395
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.
1124
01:09:04,419 --> 01:09:05,831
I have one right now.
1125
01:09:05,855 --> 01:09:07,441
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.
1126
01:09:07,465 --> 01:09:08,616
I don't want you to hurt me,
1127
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:10,817
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.
1128
01:09:11,818 --> 01:09:13,970
Except for where they are.
1129
01:09:13,994 --> 01:09:15,275
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound
1130
01:09:15,299 --> 01:09:16,711
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.
1131
01:09:16,735 --> 01:09:18,061
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.
1132
01:09:18,085 --> 01:09:19,584
You all know the plan.
1133
01:09:19,608 --> 01:09:21,368
Intercept the convoy,
1134
01:09:21,392 --> 01:09:23,414
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!
1135
01:09:23,438 --> 01:09:24,807
You know what,
1136
01:09:24,831 --> 01:09:26,373
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.
1137
01:09:26,397 --> 01:09:28,549
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.
1138
01:09:28,573 --> 01:09:31,291
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.
1139
01:09:31,315 --> 01:09:33,946
Watch out for this guy, Cable!
1140
01:09:33,970 --> 01:09:37,254
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.
1141
01:09:37,278 --> 01:09:40,387
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.
1142
01:09:40,411 --> 01:09:42,491
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...
1143
01:09:43,284 --> 01:09:44,981
there's a wind advisory
in effect.
1144
01:09:56,123 --> 01:09:57,763
A little turbulent up here.
1145
01:10:05,132 --> 01:10:06,936
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...
1146
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:08,372
but I guarantee he hasn't killed
1147
01:10:08,396 --> 01:10:10,137
as many people as melanoma has.
1148
01:10:11,529 --> 01:10:12,942
We're getting close!
1149
01:10:12,966 --> 01:10:14,682
As a former X-Man...
1150
01:10:14,706 --> 01:10:16,641
Trainee. Thank you, Bedlam.
1151
01:10:16,665 --> 01:10:19,035
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism
1152
01:10:19,059 --> 01:10:20,688
in the group's name.
1153
01:10:20,712 --> 01:10:22,777
X-Men! Men!
1154
01:10:22,801 --> 01:10:25,824
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.
1155
01:10:25,848 --> 01:10:27,173
Gender neutral.
1156
01:10:27,197 --> 01:10:29,504
From now on,
we'll be known as...
1157
01:10:31,767 --> 01:10:33,136
X-Force.
1158
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:34,964
Isn't that a little derivative?
1159
01:10:34,988 --> 01:10:37,381
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!
1160
01:10:38,643 --> 01:10:40,080
That wasn't me.
1161
01:10:47,130 --> 01:10:49,500
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...
1162
01:10:49,524 --> 01:10:51,371
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.
1163
01:10:51,395 --> 01:10:52,503
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!
1164
01:10:52,527 --> 01:10:54,418
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!
1165
01:10:54,442 --> 01:10:55,593
Yeah!
1166
01:10:55,617 --> 01:10:57,334
I can't wait to kill!
1167
01:10:57,358 --> 01:11:00,119
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1168
01:11:00,143 --> 01:11:02,861
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.
1169
01:11:02,885 --> 01:11:05,777
You know, you guys look amazing!
1170
01:11:05,801 --> 01:11:08,693
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.
1171
01:11:08,717 --> 01:11:09,868
This is the family
1172
01:11:09,892 --> 01:11:11,572
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...
1173
01:11:12,329 --> 01:11:13,437
Ah, shit.
1174
01:11:15,028 --> 01:11:16,744
I just get a little choked up
sometimes.
1175
01:11:16,768 --> 01:11:18,616
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous
1176
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:20,009
about the high winds?
1177
01:11:20,033 --> 01:11:21,401
Gary. My name's Peter.
1178
01:11:21,425 --> 01:11:23,360
I realize that you're
new to this, but relax.
1179
01:11:23,384 --> 01:11:25,057
You've been chosen
by a higher power.
1180
01:11:25,081 --> 01:11:27,407
Did he just call himself God?
I think he did.
1181
01:11:27,431 --> 01:11:29,018
I'd like to go home. And I'd like...
1182
01:11:29,042 --> 01:11:31,585
the McRib to be available
year round,
1183
01:11:31,609 --> 01:11:33,457
but sometimes dreams
don't come true.
1184
01:11:33,481 --> 01:11:35,676
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.
1185
01:11:35,700 --> 01:11:36,851
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane
1186
01:11:36,875 --> 01:11:38,853
because of a light breeze?
1187
01:11:38,877 --> 01:11:41,160
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!
1188
01:11:41,184 --> 01:11:43,162
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.
1189
01:11:43,186 --> 01:11:45,512
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.
1190
01:11:45,536 --> 01:11:47,775
Leonard, hit it!
1191
01:11:56,460 --> 01:11:58,506
Go! Go! Go!
1192
01:12:34,194 --> 01:12:35,649
Let's get some!
1193
01:12:35,673 --> 01:12:36,868
Whoo!
1194
01:12:36,892 --> 01:12:38,087
Oh, yeah!
1195
01:12:38,111 --> 01:12:40,939
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!
1196
01:12:41,984 --> 01:12:43,483
Deploy! Oh, hey now!
1197
01:12:43,507 --> 01:12:44,769
Whoa!
1198
01:12:50,036 --> 01:12:51,950
Little off course here.
1199
01:12:54,127 --> 01:12:56,955
Holy mommy fucking shit!
1200
01:12:57,695 --> 01:12:59,151
Ah, there they are.
1201
01:12:59,175 --> 01:13:02,807
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.
1202
01:13:02,831 --> 01:13:04,746
Oh, yeah!
That's right, Bedlam!
1203
01:13:09,838 --> 01:13:14,123
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!
1204
01:13:14,147 --> 01:13:17,237
Shatterstar.
Okay, you got this.
1205
01:13:18,020 --> 01:13:19,084
Left!
1206
01:13:19,108 --> 01:13:20,477
Left!
1207
01:13:20,501 --> 01:13:22,783
You'd have to be insane
to take off in this.
1208
01:13:22,807 --> 01:13:25,027
No, stage left, you idiot!
1209
01:13:28,944 --> 01:13:30,487
Well, I guess we found something
1210
01:13:30,511 --> 01:13:31,599
you're not better at.
1211
01:13:33,818 --> 01:13:35,144
Vanisher.
1212
01:13:35,168 --> 01:13:36,952
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.
1213
01:13:40,086 --> 01:13:41,541
Oh! Really?
1214
01:13:41,565 --> 01:13:43,935
All right,
we could do this with four.
1215
01:13:43,959 --> 01:13:46,981
Sugarbear.
You got this, buddy!
1216
01:13:47,005 --> 01:13:49,095
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!
1217
01:13:50,313 --> 01:13:52,422
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!
1218
01:13:52,446 --> 01:13:54,032
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.
1219
01:13:54,056 --> 01:13:55,251
We did it!
1220
01:13:55,275 --> 01:13:56,861
You're a goddamn superhero, you!
1221
01:13:56,885 --> 01:13:57,973
X-Force!
1222
01:13:58,582 --> 01:13:59,670
X-Force.
1223
01:14:04,066 --> 01:14:05,937
Oh!
1224
01:14:09,637 --> 01:14:10,701
Peter.
1225
01:14:10,725 --> 01:14:12,050
I got you, buddy!
1226
01:14:12,074 --> 01:14:13,269
You're gonna be fine!
This is not good, man!
1227
01:14:13,293 --> 01:14:15,619
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!
1228
01:14:15,643 --> 01:14:17,142
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?
1229
01:14:17,166 --> 01:14:19,255
Yeah, we're X-Force. We're X-Force.
1230
01:14:23,303 --> 01:14:25,368
Oh, my God!
What the fuck?
1231
01:14:25,392 --> 01:14:27,413
Fucking acidic vomit!
1232
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:31,765
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.
1233
01:14:34,836 --> 01:14:37,249
Okay, I'm over the convoy.
1234
01:14:37,273 --> 01:14:39,730
Where did the rest
of the team land?
1235
01:14:39,754 --> 01:14:41,427
Good news and bad news.
1236
01:14:41,451 --> 01:14:44,604
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.
1237
01:14:44,628 --> 01:14:45,953
The good news is,
1238
01:14:45,977 --> 01:14:47,825
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.
1239
01:14:47,849 --> 01:14:51,220
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!
1240
01:14:51,244 --> 01:14:52,264
Peter!
1241
01:14:52,288 --> 01:14:53,787
Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.
1242
01:14:53,811 --> 01:14:54,962
But there is a slight chance
1243
01:14:54,986 --> 01:14:56,355
Vanisher could make it.
1244
01:14:56,379 --> 01:14:59,010
Nope, no chance. He's dead.
1245
01:14:59,034 --> 01:15:00,229
The whole team?
1246
01:15:00,253 --> 01:15:02,144
Only the main ones.
We're still good.
1247
01:15:02,168 --> 01:15:03,449
Fuck, you are dumb.
1248
01:15:03,473 --> 01:15:05,147
Whoever planned this stunt's
1249
01:15:05,171 --> 01:15:07,366
been smoking a lot jazz cabbage.
1250
01:15:07,390 --> 01:15:08,541
I'll tell you that much.
1251
01:15:08,565 --> 01:15:10,239
That's pretty obvious!
1252
01:15:10,263 --> 01:15:12,003
Looking good, Vanisher.
1253
01:15:21,839 --> 01:15:23,711
They're headed into the tunnel.
1254
01:15:24,712 --> 01:15:26,211
I'm that kid's only hope,
1255
01:15:26,235 --> 01:15:28,106
so sit tight
and wait for my word.
1256
01:15:28,846 --> 01:15:30,172
Whatever.
1257
01:15:30,196 --> 01:15:31,738
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.
1258
01:15:31,762 --> 01:15:34,176
Uh, that's a
negative, sole survivor.
1259
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:36,743
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!
1260
01:15:36,767 --> 01:15:39,877
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.
1261
01:15:42,947 --> 01:15:45,622
Seriously, I don't get it!
1262
01:15:45,646 --> 01:15:48,126
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?
1263
01:15:50,303 --> 01:15:52,150
It's just it's hard to picture.
1264
01:15:52,174 --> 01:15:54,263
And certainly
not very cinematic.
1265
01:15:56,961 --> 01:15:58,591
I mean, luck?
1266
01:15:58,615 --> 01:16:01,203
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking
1267
01:16:01,227 --> 01:16:02,595
freakshow comic book artist...
1268
01:16:02,619 --> 01:16:04,293
came up
with that little chestnut?
1269
01:16:04,317 --> 01:16:06,580
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!
1270
01:16:17,678 --> 01:16:21,005
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.
1271
01:16:21,029 --> 01:16:22,267
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.
1272
01:16:22,291 --> 01:16:23,312
Wander the Earth... I'm in.
1273
01:16:23,336 --> 01:16:24,878
I'm sorry, what did you say?
1274
01:16:24,902 --> 01:16:26,053
I'm in.
1275
01:16:26,077 --> 01:16:27,949
How in the fuck
are you in already?
1276
01:16:28,384 --> 01:16:30,232
Oh, shit.
1277
01:16:30,256 --> 01:16:31,494
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.
1278
01:16:31,518 --> 01:16:32,669
Okay.
1279
01:16:32,693 --> 01:16:35,149
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers
1280
01:16:35,173 --> 01:16:37,935
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.
1281
01:16:37,959 --> 01:16:39,569
I'm coming up on your six.
1282
01:16:47,838 --> 01:16:49,903
That gun is amazing!
1283
01:16:59,023 --> 01:17:01,088
Hey!
Asshole!
1284
01:17:01,112 --> 01:17:02,742
Where is he?
I can't see him.
1285
01:17:02,766 --> 01:17:04,527
He's on top of you.
1286
01:17:04,551 --> 01:17:06,442
He's tearing you open!
1287
01:17:06,466 --> 01:17:08,400
He's going in through the back!
1288
01:17:08,424 --> 01:17:09,575
Oh, God, he's inside!
1289
01:17:09,599 --> 01:17:10,924
You hear yourself, right?
1290
01:17:10,948 --> 01:17:12,404
Accidental double entendres!
1291
01:17:12,428 --> 01:17:14,972
Russell! Russell Collins!
1292
01:17:14,996 --> 01:17:16,911
Hands off that kid, John Connor!
1293
01:17:21,916 --> 01:17:22,917
No, no, no!
1294
01:17:27,269 --> 01:17:28,357
Shit!
1295
01:17:50,336 --> 01:17:52,250
Two can play that game!
1296
01:17:54,383 --> 01:17:56,211
Got it! No, I don't.
1297
01:17:57,212 --> 01:17:58,276
Showtime, mama!
1298
01:17:58,300 --> 01:17:59,910
Lady Luck, take the wheel.
1299
01:18:37,731 --> 01:18:39,535
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.
1300
01:18:39,559 --> 01:18:41,667
I'm Domino, and doubtful.
1301
01:18:58,229 --> 01:18:59,230
Hang in there, Doms!
1302
01:19:00,536 --> 01:19:02,253
Oh, this is really hard.
1303
01:19:14,507 --> 01:19:15,907
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.
1304
01:19:19,425 --> 01:19:20,948
You're doing great.XForce.
1305
01:19:22,906 --> 01:19:24,971
I guess dubstep never dies.
1306
01:19:29,217 --> 01:19:30,261
Whoo!
1307
01:19:37,268 --> 01:19:39,923
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!
1308
01:19:42,709 --> 01:19:43,840
That's unfortunate.
1309
01:19:46,974 --> 01:19:48,386
We got no brakes!
1310
01:19:48,410 --> 01:19:49,629
Figure it out!
1311
01:19:54,024 --> 01:19:55,548
There's nothing I can't kill.
1312
01:19:58,376 --> 01:20:00,920
Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin
used to say...
1313
01:20:00,944 --> 01:20:03,294
"There's a first time
for everything, son."
1314
01:20:04,992 --> 01:20:06,559
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.
1315
01:20:21,443 --> 01:20:23,358
Those bullets were, like,
super fast.
1316
01:20:23,924 --> 01:20:24,925
Here we go.
1317
01:20:26,013 --> 01:20:28,295
Domino, mind slowing us down?
1318
01:20:28,319 --> 01:20:30,472
Here goes nothing.
1319
01:21:01,614 --> 01:21:03,354
Knock, knock.
1320
01:21:09,883 --> 01:21:10,947
That's my boy.
1321
01:21:17,325 --> 01:21:18,563
Holy...
1322
01:21:28,771 --> 01:21:30,444
I'll be first to admit...
1323
01:21:30,468 --> 01:21:32,819
this did not go
according to plan.
1324
01:21:34,168 --> 01:21:35,754
I'll also be the first
to admit that
1325
01:21:35,778 --> 01:21:37,669
that plan was written in crayon.
1326
01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:40,977
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.
1327
01:21:41,001 --> 01:21:42,631
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,
1328
01:21:42,655 --> 01:21:45,590
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.
1329
01:21:45,614 --> 01:21:48,898
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.
1330
01:21:48,922 --> 01:21:50,160
A mood that is
1331
01:21:50,184 --> 01:21:51,968
about to get
significantly worse.
1332
01:22:15,731 --> 01:22:18,168
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.
1333
01:22:21,128 --> 01:22:22,608
Oh.
1334
01:22:24,392 --> 01:22:26,065
Oh, God, that hurt.
1335
01:22:26,089 --> 01:22:27,700
Suck it, Mel Gibson.
1336
01:22:31,268 --> 01:22:32,356
Russell.
1337
01:22:35,055 --> 01:22:36,143
Russell!
1338
01:22:36,752 --> 01:22:38,841
Russ, where are ya?
1339
01:22:42,497 --> 01:22:44,693
Russell. Russell, you're okay!
1340
01:22:44,717 --> 01:22:48,174
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my God!
1341
01:22:48,198 --> 01:22:49,567
Juggernaut!
1342
01:22:50,723 --> 01:22:52,788
I thought that was you!
1343
01:22:52,812 --> 01:22:55,660
I should've worn my white pants.
1344
01:22:55,684 --> 01:22:59,533
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.
1345
01:22:59,557 --> 01:23:02,885
Uncanny X-Men183. Thor411.
1346
01:23:02,909 --> 01:23:04,277
X-Men Unlimited12.
1347
01:23:04,301 --> 01:23:06,453
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...
1348
01:23:06,477 --> 01:23:08,281
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...
1349
01:23:08,305 --> 01:23:10,544
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.
1350
01:23:10,568 --> 01:23:12,372
I don't mean right now.
1351
01:23:12,396 --> 01:23:14,331
I'm gonna rip you in half now.
1352
01:23:14,355 --> 01:23:16,725
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.
1353
01:23:20,753 --> 01:23:24,820
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
1354
01:23:24,844 --> 01:23:25,932
I can't feel...
1355
01:23:26,889 --> 01:23:28,412
Oh, no, they're right here.
1356
01:23:29,239 --> 01:23:31,043
Got 'em.
God, Russell.
1357
01:23:31,067 --> 01:23:33,437
I have a mission.
1358
01:23:33,461 --> 01:23:35,047
To get my revenge.
1359
01:23:35,071 --> 01:23:37,397
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.
1360
01:23:37,421 --> 01:23:39,661
You're not the revenge type.
1361
01:23:39,685 --> 01:23:41,227
Take it from a friend.
1362
01:23:41,251 --> 01:23:45,101
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.
1363
01:23:45,125 --> 01:23:47,320
You said it yourself.
1364
01:23:47,344 --> 01:23:50,062
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."
1365
01:23:50,086 --> 01:23:51,542
So I did.
1366
01:23:53,046 --> 01:23:55,241
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.
1367
01:23:55,265 --> 01:23:59,289
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?
1368
01:23:59,313 --> 01:24:01,204
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,
1369
01:24:01,228 --> 01:24:03,685
I care about you, Russell.
1370
01:24:03,709 --> 01:24:05,817
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?
1371
01:24:05,841 --> 01:24:09,560
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!
1372
01:24:09,584 --> 01:24:12,369
Legs! Still hurts to hear out loud!
1373
01:24:14,545 --> 01:24:17,524
What is that?
That's not a real rope!
1374
01:24:17,548 --> 01:24:19,855
You get back here, young man!
1375
01:24:20,813 --> 01:24:22,312
Doms!
1376
01:24:22,336 --> 01:24:24,575
Doms, get me
out of here, please.
1377
01:24:24,599 --> 01:24:26,993
Use my arms as backpack straps.
1378
01:24:29,735 --> 01:24:30,842
I think we may have found
1379
01:24:30,866 --> 01:24:33,062
your cosmic reason
for being here.
1380
01:24:33,086 --> 01:24:34,890
I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
1381
01:24:34,914 --> 01:24:36,176
X-Force.
1382
01:24:49,711 --> 01:24:51,558
No child is hopeless.
1383
01:24:51,582 --> 01:24:55,084
Don't give up on the boy.
How could he just walk away?
1384
01:24:55,108 --> 01:24:57,826
It was the coldness in his eyes.
1385
01:24:57,850 --> 01:24:59,416
You should've heard it.
1386
01:25:01,331 --> 01:25:03,638
I guess family
really is an F-word.
1387
01:25:04,552 --> 01:25:06,791
Rub my legs, Mama.
1388
01:25:06,815 --> 01:25:08,227
Why would I rub your legs?
1389
01:25:08,251 --> 01:25:11,187
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.
1390
01:25:14,301 --> 01:25:15,974
What in the...
1391
01:25:15,998 --> 01:25:18,760
Why is your hand so tiny again?
1392
01:25:18,784 --> 01:25:20,631
That's not my hand.
1393
01:25:20,655 --> 01:25:23,025
Oh! Mary,
mother of Joseph!
1394
01:25:23,049 --> 01:25:24,983
That was nice for me.
1395
01:25:25,007 --> 01:25:27,856
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...
1396
01:25:32,275 --> 01:25:34,601
Why wouldn't you cover that up?
1397
01:25:34,625 --> 01:25:36,865
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.
1398
01:25:36,889 --> 01:25:38,867
Yeah, but you do.
Look at you.
1399
01:25:38,891 --> 01:25:40,912
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,
1400
01:25:40,936 --> 01:25:42,435
toddler-style.
1401
01:25:42,459 --> 01:25:44,437
Oh, yeah.
Full Winnie the Pooh.
1402
01:25:44,461 --> 01:25:46,483
The hell's happening?
Describe it.
1403
01:25:46,507 --> 01:25:47,789
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.
1404
01:25:47,813 --> 01:25:49,442
It's like, um...
Here we go.
1405
01:25:49,466 --> 01:25:50,748
It's like he was
giving birth anally,
1406
01:25:50,772 --> 01:25:52,315
but they quit halfway through.
1407
01:25:52,339 --> 01:25:53,490
They got the legs out,
and they said,
1408
01:25:53,514 --> 01:25:54,883
"You know what, I'm done."
1409
01:25:54,907 --> 01:25:56,188
Happy?
1410
01:25:56,212 --> 01:25:57,320
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.
1411
01:25:57,344 --> 01:25:58,538
But this time, you can see
1412
01:25:58,562 --> 01:26:00,018
the Muppet's dick.
1413
01:26:00,042 --> 01:26:01,585
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.
1414
01:26:01,609 --> 01:26:02,804
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.
1415
01:26:02,828 --> 01:26:04,428
I've had three tickets already.
1416
01:26:05,918 --> 01:26:08,722
No, no, no, DP, not again!
1417
01:26:08,746 --> 01:26:11,377
This has happened before?
1418
01:26:11,401 --> 01:26:12,901
Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
1419
01:26:12,925 --> 01:26:14,250
The indecision is killing me.
1420
01:26:14,274 --> 01:26:16,145
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?
1421
01:26:17,755 --> 01:26:19,951
Oh. Wow!
1422
01:26:19,975 --> 01:26:21,692
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.
1423
01:26:21,716 --> 01:26:23,694
I'm talking about your face.
1424
01:26:23,718 --> 01:26:25,652
I've never seen you
without your mask before.
1425
01:26:25,676 --> 01:26:27,916
Jesus Christ! Looks like an avocado.
1426
01:26:27,940 --> 01:26:29,874
Your legs, though, they're cute.
1427
01:26:29,898 --> 01:26:31,682
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?
1428
01:26:33,249 --> 01:26:34,879
I'm glad everybody dropped by.
1429
01:26:34,903 --> 01:26:37,621
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.
1430
01:26:37,645 --> 01:26:39,275
I'll tell you why I'm here.
1431
01:26:39,299 --> 01:26:41,668
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband...
1432
01:26:41,692 --> 01:26:42,931
beat me within
an inch of my life.
1433
01:26:42,955 --> 01:26:44,323
He was torturing me!
1434
01:26:44,347 --> 01:26:47,239
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.
1435
01:26:47,263 --> 01:26:49,938
So, I'm here to help us gear up.
1436
01:26:49,962 --> 01:26:51,113
So we can go after him
without me.
1437
01:26:51,137 --> 01:26:52,549
No!
1438
01:26:52,573 --> 01:26:53,942
I'm doing this alone.
1439
01:26:53,966 --> 01:26:55,117
The Juggernaut
1440
01:26:55,141 --> 01:26:56,596
will kill you all. Fair enough.
1441
01:26:56,620 --> 01:26:58,511
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs
1442
01:26:58,535 --> 01:26:59,686
under me. What will you do?
1443
01:26:59,710 --> 01:27:01,036
I don't care
what the kid did to me.
1444
01:27:01,060 --> 01:27:02,428
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,
1445
01:27:02,452 --> 01:27:03,821
even if I have to
teabag him to death.
1446
01:27:03,845 --> 01:27:05,910
It's really just a sip of tea
at this point.
1447
01:27:05,934 --> 01:27:07,738
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.
1448
01:27:07,762 --> 01:27:08,826
The first order of business is
1449
01:27:08,850 --> 01:27:10,262
to get me in front of Cable...
1450
01:27:10,286 --> 01:27:11,698
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...
1451
01:27:11,722 --> 01:27:14,092
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.
1452
01:27:14,116 --> 01:27:15,964
Then, I'm gonna take his skin...
1453
01:27:15,988 --> 01:27:19,034
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.
1454
01:27:20,644 --> 01:27:22,244
He's standing right
behind you, isn't he?
1455
01:27:30,916 --> 01:27:32,937
What in the ass?
1456
01:27:32,961 --> 01:27:36,288
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?
1457
01:27:36,312 --> 01:27:39,378
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.
1458
01:27:39,402 --> 01:27:41,927
Ugh. Is that really necessary?
1459
01:27:44,190 --> 01:27:46,995
No. It's his
"Basic Instinct."
1460
01:27:47,019 --> 01:27:48,779
What can we help you with?
1461
01:27:48,803 --> 01:27:50,457
I'm here to proposition you.
1462
01:27:51,980 --> 01:27:53,088
Oh, boy!
1463
01:27:53,112 --> 01:27:54,176
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?
1464
01:27:54,200 --> 01:27:56,352
Who gets to make the first joke?
1465
01:27:56,376 --> 01:27:57,744
I think we should all do it
at the same time.
1466
01:27:57,768 --> 01:27:58,832
Good call.
1467
01:27:58,856 --> 01:28:00,443
For $45, you get sucky-suck.
1468
01:28:00,467 --> 01:28:01,705
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.
1469
01:28:01,729 --> 01:28:02,880
Fuck!
1470
01:28:02,904 --> 01:28:04,012
The Proposition has a wonderful
1471
01:28:04,036 --> 01:28:05,361
Guy Pearce performance.
1472
01:28:05,385 --> 01:28:07,145
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.
1473
01:28:07,169 --> 01:28:09,800
Give us the line again. I need your help!
1474
01:28:09,824 --> 01:28:12,150
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...
1475
01:28:12,174 --> 01:28:15,327
but you unleashed
the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!
1476
01:28:15,351 --> 01:28:17,764
I can't bring him down alone.
1477
01:28:17,788 --> 01:28:19,312
So here we are.
1478
01:28:20,661 --> 01:28:22,465
We're no longer
accepting applications
1479
01:28:22,489 --> 01:28:23,945
for X-Force, unfortunately.
1480
01:28:23,969 --> 01:28:25,424
Even if we were...
1481
01:28:25,448 --> 01:28:27,122
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...
1482
01:28:27,146 --> 01:28:28,427
We don't have a lot of time.
1483
01:28:28,451 --> 01:28:30,212
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.
1484
01:28:30,236 --> 01:28:31,778
No offense,
but if you know so much...
1485
01:28:31,802 --> 01:28:34,694
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?
1486
01:28:34,718 --> 01:28:35,782
Or better yet, head back
a little further,
1487
01:28:35,806 --> 01:28:36,914
kill baby Hitler.
1488
01:28:36,938 --> 01:28:38,916
I use a device
to slide through time.
1489
01:28:38,940 --> 01:28:41,614
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.
1490
01:28:41,638 --> 01:28:44,269
I got two charges...
One to get me here,
1491
01:28:44,293 --> 01:28:45,488
one to get me home.
1492
01:28:45,512 --> 01:28:46,706
Well.
1493
01:28:46,730 --> 01:28:48,665
That's just lazy writing.
1494
01:28:48,689 --> 01:28:49,971
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster
1495
01:28:49,995 --> 01:28:51,581
of the orphanage tonight.
1496
01:28:51,605 --> 01:28:53,757
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.
1497
01:28:53,781 --> 01:28:56,542
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!
1498
01:28:56,566 --> 01:28:58,588
So he keeps killing...
1499
01:28:58,612 --> 01:29:00,111
and killing, and killing,
1500
01:29:00,135 --> 01:29:01,678
and killing.
1501
01:29:01,702 --> 01:29:04,922
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.
1502
01:29:07,490 --> 01:29:08,883
My people.
1503
01:29:12,800 --> 01:29:14,082
Relax.
1504
01:29:14,106 --> 01:29:16,519
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.
1505
01:29:16,543 --> 01:29:19,130
It's a goddamn fanny pack...
1506
01:29:19,154 --> 01:29:21,785
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!
1507
01:29:21,809 --> 01:29:23,463
The difference is night and day.
1508
01:29:25,291 --> 01:29:27,573
You remind me of my wife.
1509
01:29:27,597 --> 01:29:29,097
I'm sorry.
1510
01:29:29,121 --> 01:29:30,228
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."
1511
01:29:30,252 --> 01:29:31,621
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...
1512
01:29:31,645 --> 01:29:34,450
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.
1513
01:29:34,474 --> 01:29:35,649
She always struggled.
1514
01:29:36,780 --> 01:29:38,236
But she was funny...
1515
01:29:38,260 --> 01:29:41,631
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.
1516
01:29:41,655 --> 01:29:43,874
Something I could never master.
1517
01:29:44,788 --> 01:29:47,008
It was my fault she died.
1518
01:29:48,618 --> 01:29:52,294
It was my job
to stop people like him.
1519
01:29:52,318 --> 01:29:54,276
I came close a few times.
1520
01:29:58,498 --> 01:30:00,152
He wasn't too happy about that.
1521
01:30:01,892 --> 01:30:03,087
He was trying to hurt me...
1522
01:30:03,111 --> 01:30:05,070
and he knew exactly
how to do it.
1523
01:30:09,117 --> 01:30:10,834
Blessed are the wicked
1524
01:30:10,858 --> 01:30:12,425
who are healed by my hand.
1525
01:30:15,558 --> 01:30:17,928
He came into my home...
1526
01:30:17,952 --> 01:30:20,824
and took the only thing
that made it a home.
1527
01:30:25,046 --> 01:30:26,395
Sound familiar?
1528
01:30:27,440 --> 01:30:29,113
I'm sorry.Uh-huh.
1529
01:30:29,137 --> 01:30:30,791
No, I'm really sorry.
1530
01:30:33,010 --> 01:30:35,163
But that isn't Russell.
1531
01:30:35,187 --> 01:30:37,121
It doesn't have to be him.
If you knew what I knew...
1532
01:30:37,145 --> 01:30:39,167
Yeah, he's got anger issues...
1533
01:30:39,191 --> 01:30:40,777
maybe a small
learning disability...
1534
01:30:40,801 --> 01:30:42,213
splash of diabetes...
1535
01:30:42,237 --> 01:30:43,606
but nothing that can't be fixed.
1536
01:30:43,630 --> 01:30:45,303
If you could go back...
1537
01:30:45,327 --> 01:30:48,025
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?
1538
01:30:48,287 --> 01:30:49,568
No.
1539
01:30:49,592 --> 01:30:51,353
I'd buy them all
a bouquet of hand jobs.
1540
01:30:51,377 --> 01:30:53,118
Of course I fucking would!
1541
01:30:53,901 --> 01:30:55,052
But I wouldn't kill a kid.
1542
01:30:55,076 --> 01:30:57,141
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!
1543
01:30:57,165 --> 01:30:58,751
I'll kill the kid.
1544
01:30:58,775 --> 01:31:02,277
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.
1545
01:31:02,301 --> 01:31:04,670
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.
1546
01:31:04,694 --> 01:31:06,759
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...
1547
01:31:06,783 --> 01:31:09,046
would want you to do
the right thing, wouldn't she?
1548
01:31:10,047 --> 01:31:13,244
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?
1549
01:31:13,268 --> 01:31:15,028
Give me a chance to save him.
1550
01:31:15,052 --> 01:31:16,508
What? You said...
1551
01:31:16,532 --> 01:31:18,206
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.
1552
01:31:18,230 --> 01:31:20,599
If we can get to him
before that happens...
1553
01:31:20,623 --> 01:31:22,297
promise you'll give me a chance
1554
01:31:22,321 --> 01:31:24,212
to put him on a different path.
1555
01:31:24,236 --> 01:31:25,430
Define "chance."
1556
01:31:25,454 --> 01:31:26,692
I don't know.
How long does it take
1557
01:31:26,716 --> 01:31:28,085
to save someone's soul?
That's not...
1558
01:31:28,109 --> 01:31:29,391
I'll give you 30 seconds.
1559
01:31:29,415 --> 01:31:31,480
What? No! Best I can do.
1560
01:31:31,504 --> 01:31:32,809
Take it or leave it.
1561
01:31:43,255 --> 01:31:44,754
He's doing it!
1562
01:31:44,778 --> 01:31:46,408
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.
1563
01:31:46,432 --> 01:31:48,410
There he goes.
1564
01:31:48,434 --> 01:31:49,933
Jesus Christ!
1565
01:31:49,957 --> 01:31:51,456
Just shirt-cocking it.
1566
01:31:51,480 --> 01:31:53,415
Ugh.
1567
01:31:53,439 --> 01:31:54,799
There you go, little fella.
1568
01:31:55,528 --> 01:31:57,245
Go on, you're doing it!
1569
01:31:57,269 --> 01:32:00,141
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.
1570
01:32:02,317 --> 01:32:03,468
Christ!
1571
01:32:03,492 --> 01:32:05,209
That's disturbing.
1572
01:32:05,233 --> 01:32:06,626
30 seconds.
1573
01:32:12,022 --> 01:32:13,502
Deal.Deal.
1574
01:32:19,943 --> 01:32:23,053
Man, that sucks they didn't
have anything in your size.
1575
01:32:23,077 --> 01:32:25,098
I really wanted to match,
you know?
1576
01:32:25,122 --> 01:32:27,188
Being a menacing team.
1577
01:32:27,212 --> 01:32:28,406
Oh, man, it sucks.
1578
01:32:28,430 --> 01:32:30,302
That was some
cold-ass shit, kid.
1579
01:32:31,694 --> 01:32:34,282
And that is just
the first five steps
1580
01:32:34,306 --> 01:32:36,003
to a prostate-assisted orgasm.
1581
01:32:36,917 --> 01:32:38,373
Where the hell are we going?
1582
01:32:38,397 --> 01:32:39,765
You said it yourself.
1583
01:32:39,789 --> 01:32:42,725
Nothing can stop the
Juggernaut. We need backup.
1584
01:32:42,749 --> 01:32:45,728
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.
1585
01:32:49,843 --> 01:32:51,453
Can you turn off the music?
1586
01:32:52,454 --> 01:32:54,606
You'll do no such thing.
1587
01:32:54,630 --> 01:32:56,521
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?
1588
01:32:56,545 --> 01:32:58,306
I'm sorry? Apology accepted.
1589
01:32:58,330 --> 01:33:00,438
This is a side of you
I do not like.
1590
01:33:00,462 --> 01:33:01,831
Let me guess,
1591
01:33:01,855 --> 01:33:03,354
some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.
1592
01:33:03,378 --> 01:33:04,660
What the hell are you...?
1593
01:33:04,684 --> 01:33:06,575
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.
1594
01:33:06,599 --> 01:33:07,924
I am so sorry.
It gets better.
1595
01:33:07,948 --> 01:33:09,534
I'm not a fucking racist, moron!
1596
01:33:09,558 --> 01:33:11,623
That's precisely
what a racist would say.
1597
01:33:11,647 --> 01:33:13,321
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.
1598
01:33:13,345 --> 01:33:14,626
And that's a twist.
1599
01:33:14,650 --> 01:33:16,193
When this is over...
1600
01:33:16,217 --> 01:33:18,108
I'm going to fuck you to death
with your own broken feet.
1601
01:33:18,132 --> 01:33:20,328
And a sexual predator, too.
That's rich.
1602
01:33:20,352 --> 01:33:21,764
I should have finished college.
1603
01:33:21,788 --> 01:33:22,939
So what exactly do you
1604
01:33:22,963 --> 01:33:24,027
do in the future, anyway, huh?
1605
01:33:24,051 --> 01:33:25,333
Some kind of soldier?
1606
01:33:25,357 --> 01:33:27,204
Yeah, something like that.
1607
01:33:27,228 --> 01:33:29,424
I was a soldier.
Special Forces.
1608
01:33:29,448 --> 01:33:32,165
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.
1609
01:33:32,189 --> 01:33:34,211
50 years from now,
you're very dead.
1610
01:33:34,235 --> 01:33:36,648
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.
1611
01:33:36,672 --> 01:33:38,302
Boom!
1612
01:33:38,326 --> 01:33:39,608
Spoiler alert.
1613
01:33:40,807 --> 01:33:42,175
Planets.
1614
01:33:42,199 --> 01:33:43,786
Next time, Uber.
1615
01:33:43,810 --> 01:33:45,115
Here's a spoiler alert.
1616
01:33:46,291 --> 01:33:48,269
You're not a fucking hero.
1617
01:33:48,293 --> 01:33:52,360
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.
1618
01:33:52,384 --> 01:33:53,578
Well, I got news for you.
1619
01:33:53,602 --> 01:33:54,971
My heart is in the right place.
1620
01:33:54,995 --> 01:33:56,538
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.
1621
01:33:56,562 --> 01:33:58,540
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.
1622
01:33:58,564 --> 01:33:59,671
We're all going to die.
1623
01:33:59,695 --> 01:34:00,977
Because of you, I'll always know
1624
01:34:01,001 --> 01:34:02,979
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.
1625
01:34:03,003 --> 01:34:05,416
I'm a grower, not a shower.
1626
01:34:05,440 --> 01:34:06,635
God, I wish this were a bus
1627
01:34:06,659 --> 01:34:07,853
where I could pull
the string and get out.
1628
01:34:07,877 --> 01:34:09,551
It's a good thing
Cable's not driving,
1629
01:34:09,575 --> 01:34:10,813
or you'd be in the back.
1630
01:34:10,837 --> 01:34:13,206
I am in the back.
Right here!
1631
01:34:31,336 --> 01:34:33,401
I made mistakes!
1632
01:34:33,425 --> 01:34:35,141
I wanna take them back!
1633
01:34:35,165 --> 01:34:38,144
You trusted me.
I took that trust...
1634
01:34:38,168 --> 01:34:39,624
and turned it into a glory hole
1635
01:34:39,648 --> 01:34:41,234
in an airport bathroom.
1636
01:34:41,258 --> 01:34:44,542
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.
1637
01:34:44,566 --> 01:34:47,197
But even you know I'm not
a complete piece of shit.
1638
01:34:47,221 --> 01:34:48,764
I was once an X-Man.
1639
01:34:48,788 --> 01:34:49,832
Trainee!
1640
01:34:54,489 --> 01:34:57,076
You're still using
my Velcro labels. Aw.
1641
01:34:57,100 --> 01:34:58,730
They do stick better than tape.
1642
01:34:58,754 --> 01:34:59,818
Hi, Wade!
1643
01:34:59,842 --> 01:35:01,298
Please don't.
1644
01:35:01,322 --> 01:35:03,735
Say whatever it is you're here
to say. Make it quick.
1645
01:35:03,759 --> 01:35:05,041
Right. Quick.
1646
01:35:05,065 --> 01:35:06,782
It's the kid.
Just like you, I let him down.
1647
01:35:06,806 --> 01:35:08,261
And just like me,
1648
01:35:08,285 --> 01:35:09,437
he's never had anyone
sacrifice anything for him...
1649
01:35:09,461 --> 01:35:10,481
because the whole world
wrote him off
1650
01:35:10,505 --> 01:35:11,961
as a piece of shit
a long time ago.
1651
01:35:11,985 --> 01:35:13,702
Look, he's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!
1652
01:35:13,726 --> 01:35:15,268
The Juggernaut!
1653
01:35:15,292 --> 01:35:17,053
Who's, like, my favorite
Marvel character ever...
1654
01:35:17,077 --> 01:35:19,316
And hi, Yukio! That was really
nice of you to say hi...
1655
01:35:19,340 --> 01:35:20,709
so I'm saying hi back.
1656
01:35:20,733 --> 01:35:22,145
You guys make
a super cute couple.
1657
01:35:22,169 --> 01:35:23,886
Yeah. Where was I?
1658
01:35:23,910 --> 01:35:25,801
Oh, yeah. You should never
meet your heroes...
1659
01:35:25,825 --> 01:35:27,542
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!
1660
01:35:27,566 --> 01:35:29,413
And like a lot of dicks,
he's hard as a rock...
1661
01:35:29,437 --> 01:35:30,849
and causes nothing but problems!
1662
01:35:30,873 --> 01:35:33,765
Look, you can stop the
Juggernaut. I know you can.
1663
01:35:33,789 --> 01:35:37,029
Do you know what would happen
to me if I helped you?
1664
01:35:37,053 --> 01:35:39,162
I would be disgraced.
1665
01:35:39,186 --> 01:35:41,251
You are a criminal, a fugitive.
1666
01:35:41,275 --> 01:35:42,818
But worst of all...
1667
01:35:42,842 --> 01:35:44,583
you broke my heart, Wade.
1668
01:35:46,280 --> 01:35:47,518
Then you know what?
1669
01:35:47,542 --> 01:35:49,142
Your heart's in
the wrong place, big guy.
1670
01:35:50,197 --> 01:35:52,915
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...
1671
01:35:52,939 --> 01:35:56,353
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!
1672
01:35:56,377 --> 01:35:59,487
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...
1673
01:35:59,511 --> 01:36:01,643
while we go get our fuck on!
1674
01:36:04,820 --> 01:36:06,213
You're doing great.
1675
01:36:11,871 --> 01:36:13,414
So you wear that helmet because
1676
01:36:13,438 --> 01:36:15,198
your brother
tries to read your mind?
1677
01:36:15,222 --> 01:36:18,506
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-Steven.
1678
01:36:18,530 --> 01:36:21,030
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.
1679
01:36:21,054 --> 01:36:23,032
And he's not alone.
1680
01:36:23,056 --> 01:36:24,710
Secure the children.
1681
01:36:27,147 --> 01:36:29,908
They will not replace us.
1682
01:36:29,932 --> 01:36:32,737
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?
1683
01:36:32,761 --> 01:36:36,591
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.
1684
01:36:39,942 --> 01:36:42,573
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.
1685
01:36:42,597 --> 01:36:44,164
Amen, brother.
1686
01:36:50,692 --> 01:36:52,365
Time to make the chimichangas.
1687
01:36:52,389 --> 01:36:54,585
30 seconds.
1688
01:36:54,609 --> 01:36:57,153
I finally know why I'm here.
1689
01:36:57,177 --> 01:36:59,155
I was raised in this place.
1690
01:36:59,179 --> 01:37:01,462
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.
1691
01:37:01,486 --> 01:37:04,377
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.
1692
01:37:04,401 --> 01:37:05,727
Shall we? This is gonna be fun.
1693
01:37:05,751 --> 01:37:06,858
Yeah!
1694
01:37:06,882 --> 01:37:08,294
Hey! Been meaning
to ask you...
1695
01:37:08,318 --> 01:37:11,602
what's with the dirty,
disgusting hobo bear?
1696
01:37:11,626 --> 01:37:14,823
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.
1697
01:37:14,847 --> 01:37:17,565
Are You Bear, God?
It's Me, Margaret.
1698
01:37:17,589 --> 01:37:19,044
Give me some.
1699
01:37:19,068 --> 01:37:20,655
They say
laughter heals anything...
1700
01:37:20,679 --> 01:37:21,830
except, of course, that.
1701
01:37:21,854 --> 01:37:23,072
We should just cue the music.
1702
01:37:48,228 --> 01:37:50,926
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.
1703
01:37:52,145 --> 01:37:53,209
Russell!
1704
01:37:53,233 --> 01:37:56,647
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!
1705
01:37:56,671 --> 01:37:57,996
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?
1706
01:38:02,329 --> 01:38:03,611
That's why!
1707
01:38:03,635 --> 01:38:04,960
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.
1708
01:38:04,984 --> 01:38:06,701
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...
1709
01:38:06,725 --> 01:38:09,225
Hey!
1710
01:38:09,249 --> 01:38:12,382
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.
1711
01:38:13,514 --> 01:38:15,710
My body and my hands
are so soft.
1712
01:38:15,734 --> 01:38:16,972
You should probably
head back to the car.
1713
01:38:16,996 --> 01:38:18,693
I think I'll head
back to the car.
1714
01:38:19,868 --> 01:38:22,567
It works best
when you pull the trigger.
1715
01:38:25,482 --> 01:38:26,745
That gun is amazing!
1716
01:38:28,094 --> 01:38:29,312
Say it!
1717
01:38:31,488 --> 01:38:34,555
You are an abomination!
1718
01:38:41,803 --> 01:38:45,130
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.
1719
01:38:45,154 --> 01:38:47,592
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!
1720
01:38:51,944 --> 01:38:53,032
Gotcha!
1721
01:38:53,815 --> 01:38:54,990
Beat it, midget!
1722
01:38:57,993 --> 01:39:01,103
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!
1723
01:39:01,127 --> 01:39:02,215
Oh, shit fuck!
1724
01:39:16,098 --> 01:39:17,665
Come here, beautiful.
1725
01:39:25,455 --> 01:39:26,587
Whoo!
1726
01:39:35,770 --> 01:39:36,858
Say it!
1727
01:41:00,333 --> 01:41:01,484
You came for me.
1728
01:41:01,508 --> 01:41:02,964
I'm not giving up on you,
1729
01:41:02,988 --> 01:41:05,140
and you are not
giving up on that boy.
1730
01:41:05,164 --> 01:41:07,229
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?
1731
01:41:07,253 --> 01:41:09,666
It's time to fight dirty.
1732
01:41:09,690 --> 01:41:11,059
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
1733
01:41:11,083 --> 01:41:13,888
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!
1734
01:41:13,912 --> 01:41:16,020
That's such a you thing to say!
1735
01:41:16,044 --> 01:41:18,022
Go get him, tiger!
1736
01:41:18,046 --> 01:41:19,918
Big CGI fight coming up!
1737
01:41:42,984 --> 01:41:44,396
He's doing great.
1738
01:41:44,420 --> 01:41:45,639
Say it!
1739
01:41:49,817 --> 01:41:51,210
Russell.
Bingo!
1740
01:41:56,606 --> 01:41:58,628
You see that bus?
1741
01:41:58,652 --> 01:41:59,852
I'm gonna shove it up your ass.
1742
01:42:03,222 --> 01:42:05,180
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!
1743
01:42:06,094 --> 01:42:07,158
Oh, great!
1744
01:42:07,182 --> 01:42:08,594
There they are!
Those freaks!
1745
01:42:08,618 --> 01:42:10,727
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.
1746
01:42:10,751 --> 01:42:12,903
Can I have one of those guns?
1747
01:42:12,927 --> 01:42:14,775
No.That's fine.
1748
01:42:14,799 --> 01:42:16,777
Get off this property,
mutant scum!
1749
01:42:16,801 --> 01:42:17,961
I'm just gonna use this brick.
1750
01:42:18,541 --> 01:42:19,649
Maximum effort.
1751
01:42:25,679 --> 01:42:27,420
Who says you
can't go home again?
1752
01:42:36,516 --> 01:42:37,909
Oh!
1753
01:42:44,567 --> 01:42:45,568
Yeah!
1754
01:42:47,788 --> 01:42:49,461
Say it.
1755
01:42:49,485 --> 01:42:52,532
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!
1756
01:42:53,054 --> 01:42:54,423
Say it!
1757
01:42:54,447 --> 01:42:57,145
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!
1758
01:42:58,364 --> 01:43:00,516
Blessed are the wicked...
1759
01:43:00,540 --> 01:43:01,758
who are healed...
1760
01:43:02,237 --> 01:43:03,760
by my hand.
1761
01:43:21,822 --> 01:43:23,519
You commie motherfucker!
1762
01:43:50,590 --> 01:43:53,134
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?
1763
01:43:53,158 --> 01:43:55,377
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.
1764
01:43:58,250 --> 01:44:00,619
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!
1765
01:44:00,643 --> 01:44:01,862
Now we're getting it.
1766
01:44:06,562 --> 01:44:08,845
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.
1767
01:44:14,092 --> 01:44:15,136
Orphans.
1768
01:44:16,311 --> 01:44:17,530
Oh, geez.
1769
01:44:18,966 --> 01:44:21,684
It's time to burn
for what you've done!
1770
01:44:21,708 --> 01:44:24,189
A child should not be burdened
with such power!
1771
01:44:33,024 --> 01:44:34,068
Russell! Wait!
1772
01:44:40,074 --> 01:44:41,380
Oh!
1773
01:44:48,604 --> 01:44:50,756
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!
1774
01:44:50,780 --> 01:44:52,802
What more do you need to see?
Don't you fucking dare!
1775
01:44:52,826 --> 01:44:54,021
He's just a kid!
1776
01:44:54,045 --> 01:44:55,960
Tick, tock. Meter's running!
1777
01:45:08,668 --> 01:45:11,714
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.
1778
01:45:32,083 --> 01:45:34,737
I told you! Leave me alone! Come on!
1779
01:45:35,260 --> 01:45:36,391
Listen to me!
1780
01:45:59,632 --> 01:46:01,305
That's how we do it
1781
01:46:01,329 --> 01:46:02,809
in Mother Russia.
1782
01:46:05,029 --> 01:46:07,553
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.
1783
01:46:08,945 --> 01:46:12,186
Oh, no.
You're doing amazing.
1784
01:46:13,472 --> 01:46:16,364
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!
1785
01:46:16,388 --> 01:46:18,235
Go home, Wade!
1786
01:46:18,259 --> 01:46:20,087
You're ruining everything!
1787
01:46:25,440 --> 01:46:26,809
I'm getting good at this shit.
1788
01:46:26,833 --> 01:46:28,158
Go, go, go!
1789
01:46:31,359 --> 01:46:33,337
He dies tonight, Wade.
1790
01:46:33,361 --> 01:46:35,861
You can't stop me!
1791
01:46:35,885 --> 01:46:37,776
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.
1792
01:46:37,800 --> 01:46:40,542
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.
1793
01:46:41,978 --> 01:46:43,478
There's one bullet left
in that gun.
1794
01:46:43,502 --> 01:46:45,523
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!
1795
01:46:45,547 --> 01:46:47,047
I got this.
1796
01:46:47,071 --> 01:46:49,310
Russell! Stay back! Go home, Wade!
1797
01:46:49,334 --> 01:46:52,052
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!
1798
01:46:52,076 --> 01:46:53,749
That piece of shit...
1799
01:46:53,773 --> 01:46:55,533
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.
1800
01:46:55,557 --> 01:46:58,952
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.
1801
01:46:59,822 --> 01:47:01,626
But if you kill him, he wins.
1802
01:47:01,650 --> 01:47:05,543
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.
1803
01:47:05,567 --> 01:47:07,589
You're just a kid.
1804
01:47:07,613 --> 01:47:09,373
You don't wanna hurt anyone.
1805
01:47:09,397 --> 01:47:10,679
How do you know what I want?
1806
01:47:10,703 --> 01:47:12,313
Because I've been inside you.
1807
01:47:13,009 --> 01:47:14,900
That came out wrong.
1808
01:47:14,924 --> 01:47:16,641
I've been inside your shoes.
1809
01:47:16,665 --> 01:47:18,556
Which is also off-putting.
1810
01:47:18,580 --> 01:47:20,080
It's not a great analogy.
1811
01:47:20,104 --> 01:47:21,951
The point is...
1812
01:47:21,975 --> 01:47:23,692
there are people...
1813
01:47:23,716 --> 01:47:26,782
There are people
in this fucking world...
1814
01:47:26,806 --> 01:47:29,524
besides him,
who will treat you right.
1815
01:47:29,548 --> 01:47:32,159
It isn't too late.
Don't do it.
1816
01:47:37,730 --> 01:47:40,124
I never should've left
you there.
1817
01:47:41,864 --> 01:47:43,736
I never should've left you
in that prison.
1818
01:47:50,830 --> 01:47:52,136
I can't trust you.
1819
01:47:53,833 --> 01:47:56,183
I can't trust anybody!
1820
01:48:05,410 --> 01:48:06,691
Wonderful kid.
1821
01:48:06,715 --> 01:48:08,519
You can't stop me, Wade!
1822
01:48:10,719 --> 01:48:13,002
I got one more idea.
1823
01:48:13,026 --> 01:48:15,961
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.
1824
01:48:15,985 --> 01:48:17,267
Wade, what are you doing?
1825
01:48:17,291 --> 01:48:19,617
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!
1826
01:48:19,641 --> 01:48:21,750
You're gonna kill
someone today...
1827
01:48:21,774 --> 01:48:23,230
Blessed are the wicked...
1828
01:48:23,254 --> 01:48:25,169
...then it's gotta be me.
1829
01:48:26,257 --> 01:48:28,172
...who are healed by my hand!
1830
01:48:31,262 --> 01:48:33,699
Fuck this!
1831
01:49:34,412 --> 01:49:37,371
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1832
01:49:42,376 --> 01:49:43,899
Oh, that's not good.
1833
01:49:45,466 --> 01:49:46,902
No, sir.
1834
01:49:54,519 --> 01:49:57,435
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1835
01:49:57,870 --> 01:49:59,064
Yeah.
1836
01:49:59,088 --> 01:50:01,328
And it was the best thing
I ever did.
1837
01:50:03,267 --> 01:50:05,375
I told you I care about you.
1838
01:50:05,399 --> 01:50:07,183
You're a good kid, Russell.
1839
01:50:08,881 --> 01:50:09,969
Hey.
1840
01:50:11,275 --> 01:50:12,513
The bear.
1841
01:50:12,537 --> 01:50:13,929
It worked.
1842
01:50:20,893 --> 01:50:22,523
Because of you.
1843
01:50:22,547 --> 01:50:24,853
No, Wade, because of you.
1844
01:50:25,724 --> 01:50:27,832
Stop, stop, stop!
1845
01:50:27,856 --> 01:50:29,031
Stop!
1846
01:50:30,206 --> 01:50:33,185
Just let it happen, okay?
1847
01:50:33,209 --> 01:50:36,928
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.
1848
01:50:36,952 --> 01:50:39,346
That riddle is so fucked up.
1849
01:50:44,177 --> 01:50:46,590
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
1850
01:50:46,614 --> 01:50:47,983
Don't be. Don't be.
1851
01:50:48,007 --> 01:50:50,246
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.
1852
01:50:50,270 --> 01:50:51,943
Please, just don't leave me.
1853
01:50:51,967 --> 01:50:53,597
I don't wanna die
without an audience.
1854
01:50:53,621 --> 01:50:55,295
We are not going anywhere.
1855
01:50:55,319 --> 01:50:57,427
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.
1856
01:50:57,451 --> 01:50:58,583
Just rest, okay?
1857
01:51:00,411 --> 01:51:01,499
Papa.
1858
01:51:03,718 --> 01:51:05,677
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
1859
01:51:07,940 --> 01:51:13,946
♪ Papa, can you find me
in the night? ♪
1860
01:51:35,228 --> 01:51:36,988
Before I go...
1861
01:51:37,012 --> 01:51:38,710
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.
1862
01:51:39,319 --> 01:51:40,688
Domino.
1863
01:51:40,712 --> 01:51:45,170
I want you to have
my Adventure Timewatch.
1864
01:51:47,675 --> 01:51:50,548
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.
1865
01:51:51,331 --> 01:51:52,419
Thank you.
1866
01:51:53,768 --> 01:51:57,052
Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
1867
01:51:57,076 --> 01:51:59,402
I liked you better
with your hair short.
1868
01:51:59,426 --> 01:52:00,558
Think everyone did.
1869
01:52:01,385 --> 01:52:04,146
Hi, Yukio. Hi, Wade!
1870
01:52:06,128 --> 01:52:07,216
And you...
1871
01:52:07,739 --> 01:52:09,760
Chrome Bone.
1872
01:52:09,784 --> 01:52:12,720
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.
1873
01:52:12,744 --> 01:52:15,070
But you've always been
that to me.
1874
01:52:15,094 --> 01:52:16,443
So thank you.
1875
01:52:18,619 --> 01:52:20,229
Say "fuck" for me.
1876
01:52:21,056 --> 01:52:22,382
Just once. Come on,
1877
01:52:22,406 --> 01:52:24,035
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.
1878
01:52:24,059 --> 01:52:27,125
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...
1879
01:52:27,149 --> 01:52:28,344
Fuck.
1880
01:52:28,368 --> 01:52:31,632
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.
1881
01:52:32,981 --> 01:52:36,091
And you, Cable.
1882
01:52:36,115 --> 01:52:40,617
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.
1883
01:52:40,641 --> 01:52:44,316
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.
1884
01:52:44,340 --> 01:52:45,753
That you'll start
judging people...
1885
01:52:45,777 --> 01:52:47,189
not by the color of their skin,
1886
01:52:47,213 --> 01:52:49,084
but by the content
of their character.
1887
01:52:49,824 --> 01:52:51,435
Jesus.
R-Dog?
1888
01:52:52,610 --> 01:52:55,110
There you are. Hey!
1889
01:52:55,134 --> 01:52:57,373
You're a superhero now, bubba.
1890
01:52:57,397 --> 01:53:00,420
That's why it's high time
that you had a super suit.
1891
01:53:00,444 --> 01:53:01,856
This one is yours.
1892
01:53:01,880 --> 01:53:03,640
You might wanna
get it steam cleaned.
1893
01:53:03,664 --> 01:53:05,120
Especially around the pants.
1894
01:53:05,144 --> 01:53:06,841
And let it out
a little in the waist.
1895
01:53:07,799 --> 01:53:08,800
But, hey.
1896
01:53:09,844 --> 01:53:11,213
Look.
1897
01:53:11,237 --> 01:53:13,848
Family is not an F-word.
1898
01:53:14,588 --> 01:53:15,957
All right?
1899
01:53:15,981 --> 01:53:18,438
There's one out there for you.
1900
01:53:18,462 --> 01:53:20,159
Just keep looking, okay?
1901
01:53:23,641 --> 01:53:26,426
Guys, for a second there...
1902
01:53:27,253 --> 01:53:29,385
we made a pretty good team.
1903
01:53:44,444 --> 01:53:46,446
Oh, it's so hard to go.
1904
01:53:48,013 --> 01:53:50,319
I just love being around
you guys so much.
1905
01:53:51,407 --> 01:53:52,626
So, so much.
1906
01:53:53,366 --> 01:53:54,735
Mmm.
1907
01:53:54,759 --> 01:53:57,607
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.
1908
01:53:57,631 --> 01:54:01,481
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.
1909
01:54:01,505 --> 01:54:02,506
Yeah.
1910
01:54:04,377 --> 01:54:06,877
Can you see it?
1911
01:54:06,901 --> 01:54:09,077
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?
1912
01:54:10,557 --> 01:54:11,689
There it is.
1913
01:54:17,956 --> 01:54:19,237
Oh, that's the sun.
1914
01:54:19,261 --> 01:54:21,152
Don't stare directly into that.
1915
01:54:21,176 --> 01:54:22,632
I just have a few final words.
1916
01:54:24,832 --> 01:54:26,225
Woodpecker.
1917
01:54:27,008 --> 01:54:28,357
Gingivitis.
1918
01:54:30,403 --> 01:54:31,752
Codswallop.
1919
01:54:36,104 --> 01:54:38,063
Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
1920
01:55:53,051 --> 01:55:54,289
Sorry I'm late.
1921
01:55:54,313 --> 01:55:56,030
There was a bunch
1922
01:55:56,054 --> 01:55:57,422
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.
1923
01:55:57,446 --> 01:55:59,686
No.No.
1924
01:55:59,710 --> 01:56:02,819
But I did have to help a kid.Yeah.
1925
01:56:02,843 --> 01:56:04,778
He's got a terrible name. It's just awful.
1926
01:56:04,802 --> 01:56:05,803
Ugh. I tried to tell him.
1927
01:56:08,153 --> 01:56:09,589
Is this heaven?
1928
01:56:10,459 --> 01:56:11,635
It is now.
1929
01:56:15,116 --> 01:56:16,988
I am so sorry.
1930
01:56:17,815 --> 01:56:19,164
It's okay.
1931
01:56:39,010 --> 01:56:40,881
I missed you so much.
1932
01:56:46,495 --> 01:56:48,149
What is it? What's wrong?
1933
01:56:50,064 --> 01:56:52,173
It's not time.
1934
01:56:52,197 --> 01:56:54,218
What do you mean it's not time?
1935
01:56:54,242 --> 01:56:55,872
I'm here, I made it.
1936
01:56:55,896 --> 01:56:57,657
You can't stay. No, no, no.
1937
01:56:57,681 --> 01:57:00,355
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.
1938
01:57:00,379 --> 01:57:01,835
It's okay.
1939
01:57:01,859 --> 01:57:04,688
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.
1940
01:57:05,732 --> 01:57:08,169
They need you. Who?
1941
01:57:10,215 --> 01:57:11,520
Your F-word.
1942
01:57:12,783 --> 01:57:13,803
Why?
1943
01:57:13,827 --> 01:57:14,828
You'll find out.
1944
01:57:16,090 --> 01:57:17,657
It's all right. I'll be here.
1945
01:57:19,006 --> 01:57:21,811
It's pretty fucking
awesome over here.
1946
01:57:21,835 --> 01:57:23,770
I can have anything I want.
1947
01:57:23,794 --> 01:57:25,946
Can every day be
International Women's Day?
1948
01:57:25,970 --> 01:57:27,556
It is heaven.
1949
01:57:27,580 --> 01:57:28,799
I love you.
1950
01:57:31,323 --> 01:57:34,065
I know. I love you, too.
1951
01:57:34,674 --> 01:57:36,067
Now, go.
1952
01:57:36,937 --> 01:57:38,939
Go on. Go, get out of here.
1953
01:57:39,984 --> 01:57:40,985
Go.
1954
01:57:43,814 --> 01:57:44,814
Hey!
1955
01:57:47,818 --> 01:57:49,950
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
1956
01:57:50,603 --> 01:57:51,735
Well, come here.
1957
01:58:11,058 --> 01:58:12,819
Don't fuck Elvis.
1958
01:58:12,843 --> 01:58:14,583
Ooh, too late. I'm sorry?
1959
01:58:24,071 --> 01:58:25,353
Time to make the chimichangas.
1960
01:58:25,377 --> 01:58:26,528
30 seconds.
1961
01:58:26,552 --> 01:58:27,834
Hey. Been meaning
to ask you...
1962
01:58:27,858 --> 01:58:30,358
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
1963
01:58:30,382 --> 01:58:32,577
It's my daughter's teddy bear.
1964
01:58:32,601 --> 01:58:34,144
Her name's Hope.
1965
01:58:34,168 --> 01:58:35,300
Well...
1966
01:58:36,127 --> 01:58:38,061
What are you doing?
1967
01:58:38,085 --> 01:58:39,759
Somebody swiped right.
1968
01:58:52,491 --> 01:58:55,296
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1969
01:58:58,192 --> 01:58:59,996
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1970
01:59:00,020 --> 01:59:01,543
It would seem I...
1971
01:59:03,719 --> 01:59:04,982
Huh?
1972
01:59:06,113 --> 01:59:08,463
Genuine, high-grade lead.
1973
01:59:10,378 --> 01:59:13,444
You time-sliding
son of a bitch!
1974
01:59:13,468 --> 01:59:15,035
You did this for me?
1975
01:59:16,907 --> 01:59:20,016
Wait. You can't go back.
1976
01:59:20,040 --> 01:59:21,365
You used the last of your fuel.
1977
01:59:21,389 --> 01:59:23,150
What about your girl, your wife?
1978
01:59:23,174 --> 01:59:26,438
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.
1979
01:59:27,918 --> 01:59:30,374
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...
1980
01:59:30,398 --> 01:59:31,680
and make sure the world
1981
01:59:31,704 --> 01:59:33,401
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.
1982
01:59:34,098 --> 01:59:36,970
No. You did it for me.
1983
01:59:37,753 --> 01:59:39,209
No, I didn't.
1984
01:59:39,233 --> 01:59:40,689
You did. I really didn't.
1985
01:59:40,713 --> 01:59:42,560
Pretty sure you did.
No, I'm positive I didn't.
1986
01:59:42,584 --> 01:59:44,388
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?
1987
01:59:44,412 --> 01:59:47,174
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.
1988
01:59:47,198 --> 01:59:50,003
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.
1989
01:59:50,027 --> 01:59:51,178
Say it again.
1990
01:59:51,202 --> 01:59:52,832
He did it for me.
Jesus.
1991
01:59:52,856 --> 01:59:54,659
We must get the collar off.
Forget it. It's no use.
1992
01:59:54,683 --> 01:59:56,618
These collars
don't just come off.
1993
01:59:56,642 --> 01:59:58,141
Wade.
1994
01:59:58,165 --> 02:00:00,100
I have an idea.
1995
02:00:00,124 --> 02:00:02,276
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!
1996
02:00:02,300 --> 02:00:04,756
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...
1997
02:00:04,780 --> 02:00:07,934
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.
1998
02:00:07,958 --> 02:00:10,284
We need the code.
1999
02:00:10,308 --> 02:00:12,242
Try, uh, seven?
2000
02:00:12,266 --> 02:00:13,896
Settle down, Captain Lucky.
2001
02:00:13,920 --> 02:00:15,376
It's not gonna be one number.
2002
02:00:15,400 --> 02:00:16,560
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
2003
02:00:17,489 --> 02:00:18,838
I still got it.
2004
02:00:21,885 --> 02:00:23,843
Put that back
in your prison wallet.
2005
02:00:25,540 --> 02:00:27,475
I don't know how to thank you.
2006
02:00:27,499 --> 02:00:29,433
But I do know how to hug you.
2007
02:00:29,457 --> 02:00:30,782
No.
Yes.
2008
02:00:30,806 --> 02:00:32,306
Here we go. Bring it in.
2009
02:00:32,330 --> 02:00:33,437
Come on.
2010
02:00:33,461 --> 02:00:34,917
Pelvis to pelvis.
2011
02:00:34,941 --> 02:00:36,310
Let's go tip to tip.
2012
02:00:36,334 --> 02:00:38,921
There we go.
The kids call this docking.
2013
02:00:40,599 --> 02:00:42,185
Is there a knife in my dick?
2014
02:00:42,209 --> 02:00:44,013
There's a knife in your dick.
I'm just gonna back up now.
2015
02:00:44,037 --> 02:00:45,972
Yeah, yeah. No need to go full Yentl.
2016
02:00:45,996 --> 02:00:48,800
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.
2017
02:00:48,824 --> 02:00:50,739
Let's go home, Russell.
2018
02:00:54,395 --> 02:00:56,199
All you dirty mutants
2019
02:00:56,223 --> 02:00:58,810
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!
2020
02:00:58,834 --> 02:01:01,944
Your souls
are beyond redemption!
2021
02:01:01,968 --> 02:01:03,250
Let's see your soul, perv!
2022
02:01:03,274 --> 02:01:06,122
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!
2023
02:01:06,146 --> 02:01:07,471
We're better than him!
2024
02:01:07,495 --> 02:01:10,126
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!
2025
02:01:10,150 --> 02:01:11,780
We'll let karma
take care of him.
2026
02:01:11,804 --> 02:01:14,807
The day of reckoning is here!
2027
02:01:24,121 --> 02:01:26,229
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.
2028
02:01:26,253 --> 02:01:27,491
Whoo!
2029
02:01:27,515 --> 02:01:29,145
Courage, motherfuckers!
2030
02:01:29,169 --> 02:01:30,668
And karma, motherfucker.
2031
02:01:30,692 --> 02:01:32,105
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.
2032
02:01:32,129 --> 02:01:34,150
I could barely keep
a straight face.
2033
02:01:34,174 --> 02:01:36,109
I want some more.
2034
02:01:36,133 --> 02:01:37,893
I bet you do, Brown Panther.
2035
02:01:37,917 --> 02:01:41,462
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.
2036
02:01:41,486 --> 02:01:43,768
Good call.
You guys coming with us?
2037
02:01:43,792 --> 02:01:45,770
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.
2038
02:01:45,794 --> 02:01:47,337
Besides, we're X-Men.
2039
02:01:47,361 --> 02:01:50,036
No, you're X-People.
2040
02:01:50,060 --> 02:01:51,428
You're exhausting.
2041
02:01:51,452 --> 02:01:53,256
I see what you did there.
Puns.
2042
02:01:53,280 --> 02:01:54,736
Our door's always open.
2043
02:01:54,760 --> 02:01:56,564
That's kind, but
I'm not ready to date again.
2044
02:01:56,588 --> 02:01:57,589
Let alone two women.
2045
02:01:58,720 --> 02:02:00,437
God, you're a douche.
2046
02:02:00,461 --> 02:02:02,613
Bye, Wade! Bye, Yukio!
2047
02:02:05,292 --> 02:02:06,617
What do you get
2048
02:02:06,641 --> 02:02:07,575
when you take
eight feet of chrome...
2049
02:02:07,599 --> 02:02:08,793
one pinch of courage...
2050
02:02:08,817 --> 02:02:10,056
a cup of good luck...
2051
02:02:10,080 --> 02:02:11,666
a dab of racism...
2052
02:02:11,690 --> 02:02:13,233
a splash of diabetes...
2053
02:02:13,257 --> 02:02:15,670
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?
2054
02:02:15,694 --> 02:02:18,412
Answer: A family.
2055
02:02:18,436 --> 02:02:21,589
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.
2056
02:02:21,613 --> 02:02:23,156
If there's anything
you take away today...
2057
02:02:23,180 --> 02:02:26,159
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...
2058
02:02:26,183 --> 02:02:29,012
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.
2059
02:04:26,085 --> 02:04:27,845
How something so small generates
2060
02:04:27,869 --> 02:04:29,456
enough energy
to reverse time is...
2061
02:04:29,480 --> 02:04:31,893
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,
2062
02:04:31,917 --> 02:04:34,200
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.
2063
02:04:34,224 --> 02:04:35,462
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.
2064
02:04:35,486 --> 02:04:36,550
Never heard of him.
2065
02:04:36,574 --> 02:04:38,053
Why do you think
I'm helping him?
2066
02:04:39,316 --> 02:04:41,598
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,
2067
02:04:41,622 --> 02:04:43,885
don't I? A good day.
2068
02:04:44,625 --> 02:04:45,626
Bye, Wade!
2069
02:04:46,149 --> 02:04:47,150
Bye, Yukio!
2070
02:04:48,455 --> 02:04:50,999
That was probably a bad idea.
2071
02:04:51,023 --> 02:04:52,024
What have we done?
2072
02:05:10,564 --> 02:05:12,629
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.
2073
02:05:22,750 --> 02:05:24,187
I'll be right back!
2074
02:05:26,189 --> 02:05:28,713
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!
2075
02:05:29,104 --> 02:05:30,105
Whoo!
2076
02:05:31,933 --> 02:05:33,259
Peter!
2077
02:05:33,283 --> 02:05:34,869
Whoo! X-Force!
2078
02:05:34,893 --> 02:05:37,959
Walk away! Just walk away!
2079
02:05:37,983 --> 02:05:40,004
But we're X-Force! Nope! We're not.
2080
02:05:40,028 --> 02:05:41,397
X-Force is just
a marketing tool
2081
02:05:41,421 --> 02:05:42,746
designed by Fox executives...
2082
02:05:42,770 --> 02:05:44,487
to keep Josh Brolin employed.
2083
02:05:44,511 --> 02:05:46,054
It doesn't exist.
2084
02:05:46,078 --> 02:05:49,405
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!
2085
02:05:49,429 --> 02:05:51,146
And I need to feed my cat!
2086
02:05:51,170 --> 02:05:53,670
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.
2087
02:05:53,694 --> 02:05:56,958
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?
2088
02:06:06,141 --> 02:06:08,013
Wade, is that you?
2089
02:06:10,276 --> 02:06:11,645
I guess Stryker finally
2090
02:06:11,669 --> 02:06:13,061
figured out how to shut you up.
2091
02:06:19,633 --> 02:06:23,047
Hey! It's me!
Don't scratch!
2092
02:06:23,071 --> 02:06:25,136
Just cleaning up the timelines!
2093
02:06:25,160 --> 02:06:29,010
Look, eventually you're
going to hang up the claws...
2094
02:06:29,034 --> 02:06:31,254
and it's gonna make
a lot of people very sad.
2095
02:06:31,645 --> 02:06:33,057
Huh?
2096
02:06:33,081 --> 02:06:34,407
But one day, your old pal
Wade's gonna ask you...
2097
02:06:34,431 --> 02:06:36,389
to get back in the saddle again.
2098
02:06:37,303 --> 02:06:39,827
And when he does, say yes.
2099
02:06:41,089 --> 02:06:43,048
Oh, right.
2100
02:06:43,962 --> 02:06:45,268
Love you!
2101
02:06:47,618 --> 02:06:49,272
Goddamn, that's beautiful.
2102
02:06:56,627 --> 02:06:58,455
You're welcome, Canada.
2103
02:07:10,989 --> 02:07:12,164
Boy howdy.
2104
02:07:14,035 --> 02:07:16,971
Hi. This is a toughie.
2105
02:07:16,995 --> 02:07:18,451
Yeesh.
2106
02:07:18,475 --> 02:07:21,889
Oh, yes. You're already
practicing your salute, huh?
2107
02:07:21,913 --> 02:07:24,761
Yes, you are. Well, we'll
take care of that, won't we?
2108
02:07:24,785 --> 02:07:27,571
Jesus Christ! This is
so much harder than I thought.
2109
02:07:28,398 --> 02:07:30,071
Oh, I'm going to hell.
2110
02:07:30,095 --> 02:07:31,812
That makes two of us.
2111
02:07:31,836 --> 02:07:33,466
You can do this.
2112
02:07:33,490 --> 02:07:36,164
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
2113
02:07:36,188 --> 02:07:37,320
All right.
2114
02:07:44,675 --> 02:07:47,088
Maximum effort.
2115
02:13:24,754 --> 02:13:27,080
That's okay.
Let me see here.
2116
02:13:27,104 --> 02:13:28,647
Oh, God.
2117
02:13:28,671 --> 02:13:30,649
That's why you're
such a little bastard.
2118
02:13:30,673 --> 02:13:33,042
No one's ever changed you.
2119
02:13:33,066 --> 02:13:35,828
Yeah, you got a big, old
stinky in there, don't you?
2120
02:13:35,852 --> 02:13:38,700
God, it smells like
Hitler's anus...
2121
02:13:38,724 --> 02:13:41,311
which would makes sense,
wouldn't it? Yeah.
2122
02:13:41,335 --> 02:13:42,530
I think we both know
2123
02:13:42,554 --> 02:13:43,966
I don't have
what it takes to do this...
2124
02:13:43,990 --> 02:13:46,186
so I'm just gonna change
your diaper real quick...
2125
02:13:46,210 --> 02:13:48,144
and then I'm gonna come back
with my friend, Cable.
2126
02:13:48,168 --> 02:13:49,561
He loves killing kids.
147643
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