All language subtitles for A.Tuscan.Wedding.2014.DVDRip.x264-EXViD

Hurry up. Serve the mothers
of the young couple first.

- They're paying.
- Paying well, too.

- Will you fetch her?
- Yes.

- You look great.
- Thank you.

Welcome all, on this wonderful day,
at Villa Matrimonio Toscanesca.

The sun is shining today and
is almost as radiant...

was the look in the
young couple's eyes.

You've come from far:
two families, friends...

and you've spent the last
few days here in Tuscany.

- Isn't she a dear?
- Yes.

And she always loves doing it.

- Come on, back to work.
- Yes.

Yes.

I hereby declare you
joined in matrimony.

- What's that?
- What do you mean? Marla?

Marla.

Put the cake in the middle.
It's beautiful.

Dear Herman and Remco,
as is customary in Italy...

the certificate is signed by
the Mayor, Mr Bellamonti.

- Thank you, gorgeous.
- There you are.

Sanne, could you go more
easy on the decorations?

It looks like a flower
pageant outside.

People marry only once.
Shouldn't it be perfect?

- I should have them dealt with.
- What?

- Those wrinkles...
- Darling, there's no need.

- Just a little jab.
- Don't even think of it.

Bob. Watch out.

Impossible creature.

Invite you for

A TUSCAN WEDDING

- Right on the tits, too.
- That will do, don't you think?

I'll buy new flowers for you.
These can go.

Hey, don't throw them away.

- They're still fine.
- Okay.

- At least let me pay for them.
- No, it's quite all right.

Sorry.

- Bye...
- Bye.

- Are you following me?
- No, this is where I have to be.

- Oh, you've come for the inspection?
- Yes, I'm Jeroen Beukering.

Isn't Bob the groom?

Yes. I'm Bob's best friend. I'm
only a witness to the disaster.

Ah... that'll be them.

Ciao.

- Sanne van Straaten, wedding planner.
- I'm Lisa, the bride.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Irresponsible.

- Hello, I'm Bob.
- I'm Sanne.

Splendid. Let the Roman orgy begin.

Wasn't your theme La Dolce Vita?

What? No Roman orgy? Strike me
from the list in that case.

- It's a pity.
- Boys...

This is all pan of it?

- Not a bad location, don't you think?
- Just what I wanted.

Dear Bobbikins,
it's really wonderful.

I love you.

- And I love you, my beauty.
- Mega much.

- A real mega super lot.
- A mega super lot.

This is going to take some time.

Bob is a cosmetic surgeon.
He'll make her a dream woman.

No, I've never touched
Lisa and I never will.

She's so beautiful, so pure.
I'll keep her like that forever.

- Right, my beauty?
- You're so sweet.

- It's so beautiful here.
- I like it if you like it.

Oh, a swimming pool. May we?
Oh, Bobbiboo.

Isn't this terrific?

And so a great man's
mind disappears...

in the mud of a monogamous
marriage. What a waste.

What's your problem?

- I don't believe in it.
- In their marriage?

I don't believe in
marriage. Full stop.

- It's an honour to marry you two.
- Thank you.

- We'll make it a lovely time.
- Oh, I can't wait.

Ciao, bella. Arrivederci.
See you in July.

Bye.

Bye.

Fien, we're going
on a trip to Italy.

It's wonderful. The prosecco
is simply in the air.

What do you think, Koos, would
Bob let me take them off?

Well, I couldn't possibly say.

I think Bob is such a sweetie.

In the past we had to wait and see
who our daughters brought along.

- They're off. How do I look?
- Yes, beautiful.

Yes? Really? I think so
too, in fact. Thank you.

Wonderful that Fien and
I could get a lift.

Right, Fien. You like it too,
don't you? Isn't it fun?

What a botched up job.
It's no more than a ruin.

If I built this at home
they'd knock it over.

Oh, what fun. It's always been
my wish. Does this look right?

Does it look real? Let me see.

Oh, this is such fun.

Oh, Koos, it's so
good to be with you.

Maybe this will be our
second honeymoon?

Darling, we've been
divorced for 18 months.

Don't start imagining things.

Of course I'm imagining things.

What else can I do?

Tom, what days are these if even a
wedding planner can't find a man?

All she needs is a little push.

- A push towards what?
- Hip, hip, hooray.

You didn't. I wanted to ignore it.
Thirty is so definitively thirty.

Nonsense, nonsense.
Tom, the present.

Oh yes... Darling, don't think
we want to get rid of you...

- But you do, a bit.
- No.

You're always among loving couples.

It's time for your own happiness.

Living with a man and his adult
daughter can't be a joke.

- Sanne?
- Grandma's ring. Hint, hint.

- For you.
- Camillo.

For my birthday?

Si. And for my brother's
marriage this afternoon.

But you shouldn't have.

We are friends, and friends
need taking care of properly.

- Thank you so much.
- Don't mention it. Ciao.

- I'll see you this afternoon.
- Si.

- Forget it.
- Shame.

Camillo and I are just friends.

Don't forget me

my life and yours are united

What's up? Cigarette?
Should I brush my teeth?

- Take a rest. Tomorrow's a shambles.
- It's okay.

I just don't want you to drop dead.

- That wasn't the deal.
- Darling...

I don't want to be a head patient
with a bossy nurse around.

- A bossy nurse?
- Yes.

But that could be very exciting.

Nurse... what are you doing?

No response. The doctor
says it's the pills.

Doesn't matter.
The bossy nurse can wait.

How good to see you.

- Arrivederci.
- Hi, Bob.

- They're really special.
- Yes, good choice.

We have the rings, certificate,
passports. All we need.

Well, I've got a little request.

I would really love
it if you, Jeroen...

could do the wedding ceremony.

What? But wasn't
Jeroen your witness?

Yes, but he's also my best
friend. He knows us best.

- You can't just do that.
- Why not?

- Is it allowed?
- Of course it is.

But has Jeroen had
enough time to prepare?

Speaking in public
can be stressful.

He's a defence lawyer.
It can't be a problem.

Divorce cases. Yes, sorry.

- It's still strange.
- Why?

As if you're making a
butcher run a pet farm.

What do you think?

Why not share it? You do the
speech and you do the marrying.

- Is that okay?
- Of course it is.

Have you ever been to
a marriage ceremony?

No.

- There you are.
- Does it matter?

I hear these lovely stories
about desperate bridesmaids.

There's a wedding in the area this
afternoon. Come along if you like.

Wonderful.

You may learn something about love.

Now now, Bobbiboo, that's
a bit over the top.

- Here we are.
- Hi.

Hello, you old sponger.

- There you go.
- And... ready for your bucket list?

Your last pre-death wish?

- Death, marriage. It's all the same.
- That's true.

Oh no, Bob. Don't do it.
Really... don't.

You put it on the
wish-list yourself.

- Okay?
- There you go.

No, no...

Great, Bobby.

Great, Bob.

Photo. Photo...

Oh, fuck. The rings.

The rings... the rings...

The rings.

- Did I see something drop?
- The rings...

Why did you want to
be a divorce lawyer?

What's wrong with it, Lily?

All your clients ditch each other.
I'd get depressed.

No, I'm helping them. I release
them from their chains.

- For 150 euros an hour.
- A little more, in fact.

How noble of you.

How about you?

Seeing happy people makes me happy.

Are you in a relationship?

I'm divorced.

Three years ago. He kept the
house, and I moved to Italy.

Three years.

Yes, and when was your
last serious relationship?

Or maybe there never was one?

I got it nearly right,
didn't I, Jeroen?

- Do something with it, Lily.
- Why do you call me Lily?

Because your name
sounds like a flower.

And we first met at a
flower shop. So it's Lily.

In a few minutes we will
be landing at Pisa airport

Victor, my sister is
getting married...

and you can only talk
about big waves?

What?

- It's the other way.
- Just go.

You're letting me down again.
You know what?

Damn you and your lovely big waves.

Lily, what do I have to
do during the ceremony?

I ask Bob if he wants Lisa...

I fear he'll say 'Yes'.
Then I ask Lisa...

and she's bound to say "yes".
And then they're matrimonized?

Joined in matrimony.
That's the phrase.

Whatever.

Ciao.

Bon giorno.

I assume you'll
behave respectfully.

Obviously.

Nice to see how romantic you are.

Marriage is not romantic.

The Church invented it to force
people to stick together.

Sex becomes boring, so there
are not so many children born.

Marriage as contraceptive.

Contraceptive?

Yes, and after the Pill they
could have abolished marriage.

But the Church stuck to
the silly monogamy story.

People who ridicule monogamy...

often have erection
problems, did you know?

How funny. My theory is
scientifically proven.

Mine too.

- Ciao, Camillo.
- Ciao, Sanne.

What was your wedding like?
A church affair I bet?

Dressed like a princess,
with a lace train.

And twelve bridesmaids of course.

And a groom with a
ridiculous top hat.

Afterwards into the carriage together,
to the castle for the photo shoot.

You with a giant bunch
of chrysanthemums.

Staring into the flowers together.

My wedding was a drag.

A rainy morning in the village.

The groom was late. Hadn't bothered
to change into a good suit.

And my bouquet didn't
match my dress.

What went wrong between you two?

He couldn't bear my perfectionism.

Ah...

We are wicked, we are crass,
hit the ball right up your ass.

My whole hockey team.

- Where is Victor?
- Victor? Who's that?

Oh, no. You mean it?

He preferred surfing on
Tenerife to your wedding.

- Want some advice?
- Dump him?

No, first empty him out
and then dump him.

Ask Jeroen for help.

He'll help you at a reduced rate.

- Reduced rate?
- Wouldn't he?

You're obscene, you are. Look,
the dog's here as well.

Fientje, come and see me.

- Hey, sweetie. Hi there.
- Hey, Mum.

Dad's here, too. We came together.

Marla?

- Yes?
- Marla van den Boomgaard.

Koos?

I saw it on the guest list,
but it's such a common name.

Goodness... How many
light years ago is that?

None. You look as if
time has stood still.

Oh, thank you. That's very kind.
That's not how I know you.

No, I know.

- How old were we?
- When I went out with Nico? 18.

I remember you as a
little terror...

who stole from Nico so
we couldn't go dancing.

I also let the air out of
the tyres of his moped.

Exactly. Why did you do that?

I wanted you on the back of my
moped but I only had a bicycle.

- What?
- Yes.

Really? All that time while
I dated your brother?

Yes.

- And years after that.
- You never told me.

- Remember his muscles?
- Yes.

Why do you think I stayed
with him for so long?

What a lovely dress.

- What a lovely evening.
- Grazie.

- Where is my guest?
- Keeping the bridesmaids amused.

Mamma mia.

Why not ask her to dance?

But I dance like a camel.

Is there anything you do well?
Ah, it's too late anyway.

Seriously?

- Tomorrow you learn to dance. Basta.
- Basta, Mama.

Hey brother, do you have a moment?
Those bloody rings...

We'll buy new ones tomorrow.

- No, they're special.
- Why?

Some of Lisa's skin is in my ring
and some of my skin is in hers.

- Serious?
- Yes, so that we're always together.

Skin from where?

- From our bums.
- You used skin off your arse?

It's a party.

- Hello, Jeroen.
- Hi, Marjolein.

- Great new girlfriend.
- Thank you.

Well girl, have fun while it lasts.

But after the third time
you're on your own, at home...

with a cold pizza for comfort.

Marjolein, please...

Sorry, that was a bit embarrassing.

Doesn't matter. So you're
a typical three-timer?

Three-timer?

Yes, you've done it three times
with most of these women.

What's up?

First she's exciting. The
second time she's just around.

And the third time is a farewell?

What a sad sex life you've got.

Oh... And what's on
your CV, tell me?

It's quite shod.

And that allows you to
judge everybody else?

What's up, Lily. Lost your tongue?

Marjolein? Come back, girl.

- Sleep well, Jeroen.
- Sleep well, Lily.

- Marla?
- Yes?

- Can I ask you something?
- Of course.

Is there a nice
restaurant around here?

Tom is a good cook but
you can't mean that.

No, not really.

I have to go to the market.
You can come along if you like.

Would you drink a glass
of wine with me there?

A glass of wine?

Yes.

You've become much more
charming in those 35 years.

Think so? That's how one should live:
keeping the juicy bits for last.

- That is a very delicious Amarone.
- Hello.

Would you like a glass?

- Yes, please.
- Go ahead.

Oh, by the way, I'm the
mother of the bride: Bella.

Hi, Bella. I'm Tom. I live here with
my daughter Sanne and my Marla.

I think it's so romantic
here in the south.

I had the same thing in
mind for Koos and me.

But Koos had different plans...

so now I'm on my own in
a flat facing north.

Would you like some?

- Yes, fine.
- Nice.

Well... Tom...

may we all get the happiness
we deserve. Don't you think?

- Yes, salute.
- Salute.

Wow, that's not a bad
lot of grape juice.

We won't be doing weird things?

Of course not. First
a sniff of culture.

- Michelangelo.
- Da Vinci.

- The Last Supper?
- Something like that.

Sorry, sorry.

- Hi, friend of Lisa's.
- Hi, brother of Bob's.

- Who's called Erik.
- Hi, Erik.

All those hockey girls lend
class to the occasion.

Are you into sports?

- Yes, I'm a professional gamer.
- See you, gamer.

Jeroen? Do you have a moment?

Is it important?

I'm getting a divorce.

That's important for sure.

- What was the agreement?
- Sorry?

In joint or separate
property or a third variant?

Separate. A pre-nuptial agreement.

Victor arranged everything.
I was... in love.

- Was he a partner in the business?
- No.

In that case there may
be some money in it.

Will you arrange that for me?
Sweet little lawyer of mine?

Hey guys. Group photo. Jeroen.

Ready, ladies?

Three, two, one...

Time for the next
surprise. Ladies only.

We're going to do something
only real men do.

The grey van there.

You know, Tom... I sometimes think
that love is like a shop window.

But when you go inside it turns
out to be a recycling shop...

and soon you're put
out with the garbage.

That's a sad view, Bella.

You're right. My daughter is getting
married tomorrow. Naughty Bella.

You know what's? Watch this:
Bella is going to be a wine connoisseur.

That so?

Hello.

Hello. I'm the mother of the bride.

- Welcome.
- Thank you.

I'm off for a drink in the village.

- That's nice. On your own?
- No.

With an old flame.

What, an old flame?
Mine are all extinguished.

- Well, have a nice time.
- Yes, you too.

Look at that.

At last.

Stop, stop.

Prego. Thank you.

- Watch out for the sharks, man.
- Come on, guys.

It could be very deep.
Don't jump, Bob.

Watch out.

What's this about, guys?

- I thought so.
- I'm Vittorio Bellamonti, the Mayor.

Glad to meet you, Mayor.

Yes Bob, the women will
be proud of us tomorrow.

Like primeval men we're going
to bring home the food.

We are going to hunt.

- I'm telling him.
- We're going to look for a wild boar.

Wild boar.

Wild boar? We're not
going to kill an animal?

Yes, for the party.
It's a local tradition.

It's the tradition here.
Select your gun carefully.

Look, they're shiny. Shotguns.

I definitely taste broccoli.

Hooray.

It's Fien.

It's Fien.

Tom and I have been together
for ages but we never married.

I always hoped he'd ask me.

But his head problems
were always in the way.

And I've got a woman rival, too.

Aha, he's a naughty man?

No, it's his daughter, Sanne.

She came to live here
after her divorce.

Tom and she are as thick as thieves.
And the business takes up a lot of time.

So there's not much
time left for love?

To be honest, there isn't.
It's all not terribly romantic.

- Isn't that a pity?
- Yes, it's a pity.

Doesn't a woman like
you deserve better?

I sometimes think so, yes.

A special present from us all.

- You're spoiling me.
- That's the idea.

Oh wow... that's really cool.
I'm such a fan of his work.

- Hey tiger, you look good.
- Thanks, so do you.

You'd be a danger on
the hockey field.

It wouldn't work,
playing in a dress.

Because you're a fan
of Abelardo's work...

we have a special surprise
for you. Boys, pronto.

- Salve.
- Hello.

Abalardo is here to take
the photo of the team.

Ciao, bella.

You're not serious.

Yes, I'm going to make a
work of an of you all.

Cup C.

Look, we can choose one.

- This is fantastic.
- Cool, right?

Your daughters have
landed on their feet.

Both married. Must
be a good feeling.

- Yes, I'm a free man.
- How do you see your future?

I will sell the business, and then
the sky's the limit. What about you?

I don't know.
It depends on Tom's head.

You sound down in the dumps.

I thought so... I will
send Bob on to you.

Hanging eyelids. That's a shame.
And it's not necessary.

We'll lift them here. And you've
got wrinkles, little ones.

Let's get rid of those. Move the
lips up. Inject some foam in them.

This is distracting. Let's smoothen it.
Have you considered a facelift?

Bob's good at it, you know.

What?

Okay.

We are wicked, we are crass, hit
the ball right up your ass.

I'm going to tell Lisa first about the
dog. Bella is too vulnerable right now.

- Who's this then?
- It's Jesus.

And another one.

That's paradise for you.

Quite a party.

- You're not allowed in here.
- Off you go.

That was fun, wasn't it?
Did you enjoy it?

Yes, it was real fun, Koos.

Don't I get a kiss?

Sleep well. Sweet dreams.

That wasn't very liberal.

Jesus, Koos, you scare me.
What do you mean?

You know very well what I mean.

No, I've no idea.

I've dreamed about this for
35 years. My time has come.

Koos, go away, you're drunk.

What are you doing?

It's a joke, it's nothing.

Koos, I've had a very
nice day with you...

but I don't want anything more.

Why don't you want it?

Because. I just don't feel like it.

Make yourself feel like it.

Stop it, Koos. For God's sake.

You're just the same
rotter you always were.

You hurt me. That really hurt.

Hey...

I'm... I'm stuck with that speech.

Dear Jeroen, you're a lawyer.
Surely you can write a speech?

You don't need my help
at all. Bye bye.

Sanne?

Dear Bob, Lisa...

Dear Bob, dear Lisa...

'You get married not to find
happiness but to share it.'

I usually give them
something to think about.

- And they fall for it?
- If they love each other.

Let me see.

You're getting on, aren't you?

This is it, or something like it.

'A wedding costs a lot,
a divorce costs more?'

Right. It's true and it's positive.

You can't talk about
money at a wedding.

Wait, you yourself said:
Real love is priceless.

You're sadly unromantic,
did you know?

Dearest Bob, dearest Lisa.
Together you are like...

I am thinking, Jeroen.
I'm helping you.

It's beautiful what
you're doing. Go on.

There. The tenth attempt.

You could mention the
moment they met.

When Lisa sat next to Bob on that
flight after the Olympic Games.

Well, that's the story that
got spread in the media.

The truth is that Bob first saw Lisa
as a patient on his operating table.

She'd fallen off a bar stool with more glass
in her face than vodka in her mouth.

I would leave that out.

Why do Bob and Lisa
belong together?

You're not only a witness but
also an agent in the disaster.

If you have an answer to that,
you've got your speech.

Here.

Good luck.

Ah, there you are. Go to bed.
Tomorrow is the big day.

Lisa, what's the matter?
Having regrets already?

Bob's the right man. He will cover
you in jewels and Vuitton handbags.

I know, that's not the point.

So what is it?

- Did you have secrets when you married?
- Yes, lots.

Didn't that worry you?

Yes, but isn't that supposed
to be what secrets do?

- I only have one.
- So what's the problem?

That it does worry me.

Fientje.

- God, Mum.
- Fientje.

Mum?

Did you not see her?

Fien? Fientje?

Oh, God...

Bob?

Bob, Lisa. Good
morning, dear couple.

- Lisa, we need you on your own.
- Not now.

- Not now.
- Shit.

We'll come back later.

- Later? But the dress...
- Come.

Bobby, lad. Bob, old wanker.
Open the door, man.

No, wait.

It's your wedding day.

Bob, don't.

Girls. Girls.

Bob? Don't...

My God. What has he done?

Stop it, boys.

Okay, men. Playtime's over.
Time to get married.

I need your help again.

What's happened?

This morning, Lisa decided
to make a clean breast.

- No...
- Yes.

- She and I have...
- Let me guess: three times?

They were only just together.

Your best friend's girlfriend?

- It does happen in hockey clubs.
- Does it? Sign me up.

You shag from one
failure to another.

Look who's talking.

With your failed marriage. As if
you always make the right choice.

Sorry.

I'm a jerk, I'm sorry.

Bob en Lisa belong together. Will
you do the wedding ceremony?

We'll do it together. You
don't get off that lightly.

Fientje? Where are you?
Come here, Fien.

Bella? Can you help me, please?
I have a bit of trouble with the...

'Dear Koos.'

'Roses whither, buildings decay.
But my love for you is here to stay.'

'Our marriage deserves
a second chance.'

Holy macaroni.

Fien.

Oh, sweetie... No...

What's all this?
Bob needs to think?

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, sweetie. Oh, my darling.

- Mum? Mum, what's the matter?
- My darling, my darling...

- Mum? Mum, what's happened?
- Look, she's been murdered.

She's been murdered,
she's been killed.

Tell me. Were you there? What
are you gaping at? Who did it?

Don't ask me...

I'm asking you a simple
question. Who did it?

I did it.

Yesterday, when we went hunting.
Bella, believe it or not, but...

I took Fien for a fuzzy wild boar.

I... I didn't dare tell you.

Why couldn't you just tell me?

Where would we be
without forgiveness?

I'm sorry.

I just want to know one
thing: what was it like?

- Do you really want to know?
- Yes.

I really want to know, yes.

It was just one of those things.

How did you like it... with Lisa?

Was she nice and juicy?

- She's juicy.
- She is, isn't she?

And the rings?

Bob, old man... Somethings
up with the rings?

- Yes, Koos.
- Don't worry, I'm only your father-in-law.

- I lost them. Up in the sky.
- I think I can help you there.

- You see?
- Gee, Koos. Thanks a million.

I'd like you to call me Dad now.

This way she's still
with me at least.

Ready?

I'm more nervous than for a
counsel's plea in court.

How beautiful.

It'll be fine.

Dear Bob, dear Lisa.

It's great to know there is someone
who'll do anything for you.

Someone to rely on. Someone
who will never let you down.

Someone you love so much
you'd even marry them.

As you know I make my
living by ending marriages.

You may not know I
was never present...

at a wedding ceremony.

Until yesterday.

Sanne took me along and I must admit:
there was something special about it.

It was charming.

And I saw the advantages:
when you are married...

you don't need to check your
phone fifty times a day...

to see if the person you
met in an obscure cafe...

- ...wants to see you again.
- I know that.

No more lonely Christmases.

No need to find out the name...

of the person you wake up
next to on New Year's Day.

In brief, I saw lots of advantages.

Dear Bob and Lisa.

I have reason to say I
know you both very well.

I think that marriage is about...

creating and sharing
beautiful moments together.

But maybe it's just as
important to be able...

to face difficult
situations together.

And if there are two
people in this world...

who I'm sure can do
this, it's you two.

And if it isn't,
you've got my number.

Please stand up, give each other
your right hand and repeat.

I, Lisa Frederique Marianna
Gertruida Leidekker...

promise you, Robert Frederik van
Aspen, to be your faithful partner.

I, Lisa Frederique Marianna
Gertruida Leidekker...

promise you, dearest Robert Frederik van
Aspen, to be your faithful partner.

I promise to love you
unconditionally...

and to support you in your efforts.

I promise to love you
unconditionally...

and to support you in your efforts.

I promise to honour you
and to respect you.

To laugh with you, cry with you and
to comfort you as long as I live.

I promise to honour you and to respect
you. To laugh with you, cry with you...

and to comfort you
as long as I live.

As a sign of your pledge you
now give each other a ring.

What's this?

Got them from Koos.

It's monstrous.

Just put it on.

And now you may...
Yes, that's right.

- Grazie.
- Prego.

Mafia.

I'm so happy.

- I'm proud of you.
- That will do.

It's going to be fine, you'll see.

- Did you manage? Is it a poodle?
- Sort of related.

He's very sweet.

Bella? I just want to say
again how sorry I am.

- Ah...
- I've got something for you.

For me? Look... a surprise.

Robert-Jan?

- What a darling. Look at her, Koos.
- Yes, I see. It's a dog.

Marla?

It went fantastically well.

You finished my sentences for me as
if you knew what I was thinking.

As if you felt what I felt.
Unbelievable.

Has anyone ever told you
how marvellous you are?

I don't want to be a three-timer.

You'll never change, will you?

Sorry.

- Bon giorno, Marla.
- Bon giorno.

- Look at this truffle.
- Wow, what a giant.

Will you let me make spaghetti
al tartufo for the two of us?

No thanks. Tom makes
such a good one.

- Hi, darling.
- Hello, love.

Marla.

Tom...

Sanne.

I feel just like that tree.

Those trees can get to be a
thousand years old, Dad.

You'll see. After the operation
you will last forever.

You'd better start thinking about
what you still want to do.

You're right.

There is one thing I
would still like to do.

What is it?

Marla...

Eighteen years ago you said you'd
enter into any adventure with me.

And stupidly, there's one thing
I never thought of asking you.

According to Sanne I'll live
to be a hundred at least...

so I'd better ask you now.

Dear Marla...

will you marry me?

Yes?

Yes.

My sweet Tom.

I've had to wait for a long time.

We have a wonderful
unmarried future behind us.

But I'm so grateful that I will soon
have your and Sanne's surname.

And your ring, and all the
fuss that goes with marriage.

We have one advantage.

We've seen many couples here...

who promise to be there
for each other for ever.

That's quite a big thing.
But we've already proved it.

Our marriage will be a walkover.
Because I'm sure:

You're the right one for me.
You always have been.

- Now you may both stand up.
- Yes.

Hold each other's right hand
as a symbol of fidelity.

Dear Tom Hendrik van Straaten...

will you take Marla van den Boomgaard
to be your lawful wedded wife...

and do you promise to support
her, for better and for worse...

You may answer, Dad.

- Yes.
- Yes... in all eternity.

Don't cry.

Amen.

Do not forget me

my life is united with yours

I love you

more and more

you are always in my dreams

do not forget me

my life is united with yours

there is a special place
in my heart for you

do not forget me

Ciao, Tom.

- If you need a strong shoulder, I'm there.
- Grazie.

Don't.

Or I won't have anyone left.

My mother wants us to get
married in this church.

- It's beautiful.
- Si.

Yes.

Beautiful.

Oh, my darling future
daughter-in-law.

Beautiful, isn't she?

I'm going to say
something important.

You're going to get married and we hope
you will be with us for a long time.

That's why we want to
give you a present.

- From my Granddad and Grandma.
- Grazie.

They were from his
granddad and grandma.

That's what I said.

- How could I know? You said it in Dutch.
- Sanne is Dutch.

- In Italy, she should speak Italian.
- Dad, calm down and sit down.

Why? I hadn't finished yet.

With these rings you can
stay together for ever.

Your brother didn't manage.
He's come back to Mummy.

- Why do you keep on about it?
- You're spoiling them.

Dad, stop it now.

Never mind. We wish you a good
marriage, even if she is Dutch.

I understood that.

- She understands you.
- She knows what you're saying.

As long as their marriage lasts
longer than five months.

Yes, excuse me a moment.

- Jeroen?
- Hi.

Most people would say 'hi', too.

- Or 'hello', that's also right.
- Hello.

I wanted to ask you something.

Don't. It's impossible.
I'm with Camillo now.

No, that's not what I mean.
I want to ask something different.

Dominique?

- Money is no problem. Arrange it.
- Come here.

Dominique. You must remember her?
She's Lisa's sister.

- And you two are...
- A couple. Right.

Well... that's good news.

That's wonderful news.

How did you get him to agree?

He's as anti-marriage
as you can imagine.

It was because of you.
Jeroen was so impressed.

- With me?
- With your work and your speeches.

There is a tiny obstacle.

Victor is still surfing all over the
world, so we're not divorced yet.

But I've got my own lawyer to
fix that. And how are you?

Fine. Glad that the marriage
season has started again.

- Look.
- Oh, for our balcony scene.

- Yes, just right.
- Much more stylish than Bob and Lisa's.

We'd like to book for 16 July.

- Pity...
- What, has that been booked already?

Yes, in a way.

But has the couple
doubly confirmed?

Yes, in a way. I'm getting
married to Camillo then, so...

And the week before?

- Yes, that's still free.
- Fine. Block it for us.

That's great. It's all in the can.

- Can you smell it?
- What, the dog?

No, Italy. The prosecco
is in the air.

Right, Cosey? The
prosecco is in the air.

Next time I'll fly.

- Lisa...
- Come Cosey, out you come.

- Hi, Bob. Congratulations.
- Thank you.

How beautiful. Much nicer than what
you wore at your first wedding.

You can't get married often enough.

Hey, sis. Is this for me
and the bridesmaids?

Yes, looks good, eh?

Ta ra...

- Mum, we've already chosen rings.
- No, darling. They're for your dad and me.

Yes, I'm going to propose
to him. At your party.

Last time I was still in
doubt but now I am sure.

- That's wonderful news.
- Yes, I think so too.

I'm so happy.

- Hi, Marla.
- Hi, Koos.

- My condolences.
- Thank you.

- How are you doing?
- Under the circumstances quite well.

I've thought a lot about you.

That's sweet of you.

But I haven't thought of you.

That's honest of you.

You're such a good couple...

because you realise you don't marry
to find happiness but to share it.

Sanne? Hear this: the bride texted the
recipe for spaghetti alla carbonara.

- Yes?
- She wants me to use cream.

- So you make it with cream.
- Have you lost your wits?

Carbonara with cream gets
you the death sentence.

- Then shoot the couple.
- What?

Kill the couple. I will never get
my speech finished anyway.

I need some data for my speech.
Do you have a moment?

When did you first think:
You are the right one for me?

The first time I saw him...

to arrange my divorce.

He was so purposeful.

He doesn't let go till he gets
what he wants. Fantastic.

He is my prince... in a red Alfa.

What about you, Jeroen?

It was at the same moment.
Wasn't it, Jeroeniboy?

Will that be all?

- I'll get dressed then.
- Of course.

You won't be long?

I woke up one morning...

and I suddenly thought:
is this all there is to my life?

Will I go on forever
making conquests?

On the pillow beside mine
on New Year's Day...

there was Dominique.

She wasn't a three-timer anymore,
she'd become a four-timer.

When I look at the crease
beside her nose...

or when I see how carefully she
makes sandwiches, I think:

Why not? I think we'll
do all right together.

- And you and Camillo?
- The urge to settle, I suspect.

'I suspect.' That doesn't
sound very convincing.

No. 'I think we'll do all right
together.' That sounds convincing.

Just say she's a good fuck.

That she's always willing. Everywhere.
That she comes off yodeling.

'I think we'll do all
right together'?

- You look great.
- I sweat like a pig in this dress.

It's the last time I let
my little sister dress me.

I feel like an
exploded tinsel ball.

Super, isn't it?

- I'm going to start.
- Okay.

I can't do it.

What? Spaghetti alla
carbonara with cream.

Give them something else.
French fries if you like.

French fries? What French fries?

She wants me to fry chips.

Stupid Dutch cow. Has she gone
bonkers? What am I to do?

Welcome all of you on
this very special day.

Many of you know that Jeroen never
believed in marriage as such.

It was Dominique's special
powers of persuasion...

that finally won him over.

Well done, Dominique.
Though he did have a point.

One of the three couples I marry
end up divorcing each other.

Fortunately Jeroen knows very well
what he's letting himself in for.

And that's just as well. A marriage
needs a lot to be successful:

A deep, lasting
confidence in each other.

A sense of togetherness,
even during the worst rows.

Making yourself subservient to
the other person's needs...

and so merge into
something more important.

That's what makes us happy.

Fine.

You may now stand up...

and hold each other's right
hand as a symbol of fidelity.

Dominique Leidekker, do you take
Jeroen Beukering to be your husband...

and will you observe the
duties imposed by law?

Yes.

Jeroen Beukering, do you take
Dominique Leidekker to be your wife?

And do you promise to observe
the duties imposed by law?

Yes.

I now declare you husband and
wife. You may kiss the bride.

Sanne?

That's not how we do things here.

That was the last one.

I'm going to stop doing this.

So guys, my advice is: Enjoy.

And Dominique, dear daughter...

this is the last wedding I pay for.
The next one's on you.

We must all tighten our belts
and that's hard enough for me.

- Cheers.
- Cheers. Another speech.

Dear Jeroen, dear Dominique.

For some people life
is a real quest.

A quest for true love.

And if anyone has been on a very
intense and active quest, it's Jeroen.

I just think that before
you can find true love...

you'll have to find yourself.

So that you can be
loving and open...

and the other can truly know you.

I dearly hope that you
have found this...

and I wish you a
long and happy life.

- Wonderful... Cheers.
- Cheers.

Lisa, will you keep an eye on Mum?

Oh, it's lovely.

Spaghetti alla carbonara.
With cream.

Camillo, stop it, you stupid child.

Grazie.

You can't say that.

Who made this?

- Your Excellence.
- What's this?

- Spaghetti alla carbonara.
- And what exactly is in it?

- Cream.
- Cream in the carbonara?

- Ladies and gentlemen.
- Lisa, stop her.

- Now it's my turn to speak.
- Too late.

You only marry twice in your life.

As Vera Lon, or Lynn, used
to sing: 'We'll meet again.'

Don't let her sing.

I won't sing tonight, don't worry.
I'm here for something else.

I'm here for you, darling.

Dear Koos, roses whither,
buildings decay...

but my love for you
is here to stay.

I wrote that in my
girlfriends' poetry albums.

But it's what I feel for you. We
split up but that was a big mistake.

I still love you a terrible lot and
I know you feel the same about me.

That's why... sweetheart...

Dearest... will you marry me again?

- Marry?
- Yes.

Ah, dearest... You
never give up, do you?

It's because I'm so
crazy about you.

After all I've done to you?

All the things I've thrown at you?

Every marriage has
its ups and downs.

But darling, I'm totally bad news.
I never even put the dustbins out.

And I haven't listened
to you for ages.

So what? I only half listen to you.

Yes, but if we live together
it will be sheer disaster.

We tried for 21 years. We
drove each other up the wall.

Of course I love you.
Of course. But marry you?

Of course not.

- Enjoy.
- Enjoy.

- Mum?
- Mum, sit down.

- No.
- Oh, my god.

- Bella?
- No.

Mum.

- What did he say?
- Sorry.

It was an accident.
It was meant for me.

I'm not afraid of
the Italian mafia.

Mafia, yes.

That's right. Hit him, Koos.

Dad.

Bloody Italians.

Get up. My family is under
attack. Do something.

Hello? Get that man.
Why else did I marry you?

- Dominique, listen. I made a mistake.
- Exactly. Do something.

Camillo, stop it. You're
only making it worse.

Yes, but he started. The swine.

It's my wedding.

Out of the way, off with you. Off.

- Sanne.
- Are you here to help me?

I made a terrible mistake.
I love you.

I'm getting fire extinguishers.

- I love only you.
- You should have thought of that earlier.

Yes, and I did. I came
to see you last winter.

I saw you together with Camillo.

I fooled myself that someone else
would be good enough for me.

But I keep thinking of you.

I want to be with you.

Camillo was there for
me when I needed him.

If you tell me you love Camillo...

I'll let you be.

Because I love you so much.

I love everything about you.

Even your perfectionism.

Sanne.

- Sanne.
- Sorry.

Where are the fire extinguishers?

A perfect hit.

You will be sorry. This is going
to cost you a lot of money.

Dominique, wait. I can help you.

- Oh, those Italians...
- Oh, those Dutch people.

Don't worry. You're
doing very well, Marla.

- Grazie, Mayor.
- Call me Vittorio.

Vittorio.

Grazie.

Salute.

I'm sorry.

Ciao.

Oh, you're such a hero.

I won't let you be insulted
by the mafia, my love.

Sweet, sweet knight of mine.

Mama...

Find me an Italian wife.
Carbonara with cream...

They eat their french
fries with mayonnaise.

Ah, my little darling.
Did you sleep well?

Come.

- Is it time?
- Not yet. But I've got something for you.

This was my mother's. I want
you to wear it. It's yours now.

- Beautiful.
- Thank you, Mum.

May you be very happy.

We congratulate Jeroen on
being a new citizen of Italy.

Take each other's right hand.

Do you, Jeroen Beukering take...

Sanne van Straaten to
be your lawful wife?

- What is your answer?
- Yes.

And do you, Sanne van Straaten...

take Jeroen Beukering to
be your lawful husband?

- What is your answer?
- Yes.

Today I'm going to make
penne alla carbonara...

and I use a traditional
Italian recipe.

I cooked my pasta al dente
and mixed some bacon in it.

Then I beat my egg yolks, six of them,
and now the most important thing:

I add some cream. A little
cream. That's how I like it.

They often eat it like that
in Italy, right? Con crema.

You must have had this recipe
from a famous Italian chef.

It is simply the really
traditional Italian recipe.