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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,800 This is an unusual case, My Lord. 2 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,960 The accused was at an unmanned station under the influence of a strong fortified wine. 3 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:44,600 Railway personnel from some 20 miles away manning security cameras 4 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,560 saw him staggering towards the station's edge. 5 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,280 Lovely jubbly 6 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,760 Would all passengers stand back from the edge of the platform? 7 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,840 You with the trainers on. You with the blue tracksuit. 8 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,080 Get back. There's a train coming through here any minute. 9 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,960 Stand back. 10 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,320 Is somebody taking the piss here? 11 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,680 When will you do what you're told and stand back? 12 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,960 - Stand back? - That's right, you heard me. Stand back. 13 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,160 If you say so, pal. 14 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,240 Oh, shit! 15 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,000 See! Look what you've done now, you fucking imbecile! 16 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,000 Get off that track. There's a train coming through here in seconds. 17 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,840 What the fuck was that, you arsehole? I fucking nearly broke my bottle. 18 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,760 Fuck the bottle. Get off the track! Hurry up! Get a fucking move on! 19 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,120 I cannae find my glasses! 20 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,080 This is God calling. 21 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,600 Get off the fucking track, will you?! 22 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,440 - Get a fucking move on or you're gonna die! - Fuck me! 23 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,440 Move it, you fucking arsehole! 24 00:01:55,560 --> 00:02:00,400 Oh, thank fuck. Oh! Shit. 25 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,760 It seems to me, young man, that your profound stupidity 26 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,280 is matched only by your good fortune. 27 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,520 I sentence you to 180 hours of Community Payback. 28 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:31,440 If you don't carry out the required work, you will come back here before me 29 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,640 and receive a custodial sentence. Is that clear? 30 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,360 No, not really. 31 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,200 The accused stole a yellow and blue macaw from a pet shop 32 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,880 in the Gallowgate area of the city. 33 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,400 The bird was stuffed inside a Marks & Spencer's carrier bag 34 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,520 with tail protruding. 35 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:56,680 On being asked for an explanation by a police constable, the accused replied, 36 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,560 "Why don't you piss off and start hunting rapists, mass murderers and perverts, 37 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,840 "YOU grumpy twat?" 38 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,480 The damage to the vending machine 39 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,520 was not as great as first feared, My Lord, 40 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,320 and it has been repaired at very little cost. 41 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:17,520 It seems clear this of fence was committed, unfortunately, through depression 42 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:22,760 and this recent violent outburst is a desperate attempt 43 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,360 to get back inside the prison system. 44 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,880 This is a public order of fence, My Lord. 45 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,280 Climbing the statue of the Duke of Wellington in the city centre. 46 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,280 The accused was under the influence of drink and drugs. 47 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,080 He seems to bear a grudge against public monuments. 48 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,240 On previous occasions he has put a Scottish flag around Queen Victoria 49 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,360 and urinated on Donald Dewar. 50 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:55,600 The accused had a part-time cleaning job three days a week. 51 00:03:55,880 --> 00:04:00,360 But during this time she continued to claim Social Security benefits. 52 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,840 Your Lordship will note there is a considerable history 53 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,280 of fraudulent claims from the accused. 54 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:12,000 She seems unable to change her behaviour of claiming benefits she's not entitled to. 55 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,760 As you will recall, My Lord, this young man has pleaded guilty 56 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,400 to a violent and prolonged assault. 57 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:22,640 Now, it is accepted that the accused's rivals in this case provoked the incident 58 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:27,400 but, at the same time, the severity and viciousness of the accused's reaction 59 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,720 went far beyond self-defence. 60 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:37,240 Both the accused's rivals were assaulted to their severe and permanent disfigurement. 61 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,080 Given his chaotic childhood, My Lord, 62 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,600 both Mr Emmerson's parents 63 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:46,960 were frequently in and out of custody during his formative years. 64 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,840 Um... He perhaps didn't have the best start in life. 65 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,080 Your Lordship will note that, following Mr Emmerson's release 66 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,040 from Polmont Young Offenders Institution, 67 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,480 the last 10 months have been trouble-free, My Lord, 68 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,560 albeit apart from this one very serious incident. 69 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:08,160 He has formed a stable relationship with his girlfriend. 70 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:14,640 She continues to be a positive and stabilizing influence in his life. 71 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,600 The reason for that is clear. 72 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:22,200 Within 10 days, my client will become a father for the first time. 73 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,960 My Lord, the prospects of fatherhood have changed this young man, 74 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,720 and he would grasp one last opportunity with both hands. 75 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,080 He has clashed with his girlfriend's father on several occasions, 76 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,960 which gives rise to serious concern. 77 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,280 Stand up. 78 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,640 Your record is appalling. 79 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,640 For much of your short life you have behaved like a thug 80 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:54,400 and the violent incidents in this case have proven to me 81 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,440 that you are still a dangerous individual. 82 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,920 But you are obviously a young man with energy and talent. 83 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:07,720 You have escaped a significant custodial sentence by the skin of your teeth. 84 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,440 I sentence you to 300 hours of Community Payback. 85 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,320 Silence there! 86 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,040 Silence. 87 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,120 - Silence there! - Silence in court! 88 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,320 Silence! 89 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,000 Quiet! 90 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,440 Oh, fuck. 91 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,520 I cannae believe that, man. 92 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,680 It's okay, Leonie. 93 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,720 God, I thought they were gonna put you away for years. 94 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,800 I'm telling you, I am never coming back here. I'm telling you now. 95 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,640 One more time, Robbie, and you're on your own. 96 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,320 You'd have been safer inside, you wee prick. Watch your fucking back. 97 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,000 - See you soon, you wee dick. - Catch you after, hairy hole. 98 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,320 I cannae live with this. I'm not going to. 99 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,280 Good morning, sir. 100 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,720 I'm here to report for Community Payback. 101 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,720 - And your name is? - It's Albert Ridley. 102 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,040 - You're not on here, son. - You sure? Should be definitely on the list. 103 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,880 - Are you sure it's today? - Aye, Wednesday. 104 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,560 - You're two days out, son. - What? 105 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,440 - You're two days out. - Two days out? 106 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,160 There must be... Should be definitely on it. 107 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,720 I'll tell you what. If you can tell me what year it is, I'll let you come with us. 108 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,960 - What year it is? - Yeah. 109 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,960 Feels as if I'm fuckin' on Who Wants to be a Millionaire here. 110 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,240 Can I phone a friend? 111 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,960 It's your lucky day. We're two short. We're painting the community centre. 112 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,600 - Are you any good with a brush? - I'll give it a bash, aye. 113 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,400 - Right, get on the bus, then. - Cheers. 114 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,760 - You all right? - Aye, I'm fine. How? 115 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,160 - What's your second name again? I forgot it. - It's a secret. Ha-ha! 116 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,840 - It's a secret? - I'm no telling you. 117 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,080 - Willy, you been drinking, pal? - I haven't touched a drink. 118 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,800 - Oh, Willy. - I haven't touched a drink. Promise. 119 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,760 Look, smell my breath. No touched a drink! 120 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,080 - Robert Emmerson. - What name is it? 121 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,280 - Robert Emmerson. - Rob, it's 8:00 sharp. It's not a taxi service. 122 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:57,360 - The bus sailed right past me. - There's a 15 minute cut-off. You're too late. 123 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,680 I've gotta get my hours done, man. Please. Please. 124 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,080 - Albert, have you painted before? - Just with a can. 125 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:11,520 I'll tell you what then. Get a scraper, you and Davey get some sandpaper. 126 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,320 Get out in the hallway and give it a bit of a scraping off, will you? 127 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,960 Get it prepared for painting afterwards, all right? 128 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,760 Scrape the wall? What do you mean? 129 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,160 Don't take the piss. Get the scrapers, get the sandpaper, get out there. 130 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,680 Davey, you go with him. Show him what to do, will you, son? 131 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,680 In the corridor. Get started as soon as you can. 132 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,320 There you go, Davey. 133 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,320 There you go, the dream team. 134 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,920 Right, you and PC can start on this wall. 135 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,840 Rhino, get the orange paint. You do the windows, and I don't mean the glass. 136 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,120 Oh, fuck, Harry. No, I hate this color. 137 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,560 - You don't like it? - No, it's not me. 138 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,600 - All right, boys? - All right. 139 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,920 - How's it going, Davey, okay? - Brilliant. Albert here's a dab hand. 140 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,160 What are you doing there? You're not digging a trench. Nice and easy. 141 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,800 - Nice and easy? - Just take the... 142 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,160 Like you're taking the skin off a rice pudding. 143 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,360 - A nice big sweep. - Big sweep? 144 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,480 - Nice and easy. - What do you mean? Like that? 145 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,160 How's that? 146 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,160 I'll have you off that ladder in a minute. Behave yourself. 147 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,960 - That was a nice big sweep there. - Born to scrape, that's you, Arnold. 148 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,840 Yeah, we do. First time on today. 149 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,440 Well, I can't leave Jean on her own, can I? 150 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,520 Okay, if the office has cleared it. 151 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,480 Which hospital? 152 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,480 Okay. Thanks, Sheila. 153 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,440 - Robbie. - Aye? 154 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,240 - Your partner's gone into labor. - What? 155 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,480 Your partner's gone into labor. 156 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,600 I've got to buy some flowers. 157 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,360 That will be nice. 158 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,760 Can I ask you a big favour, Harry? 159 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,360 Here we go. Go on. 160 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,400 Could you come in with me? 161 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,360 What? 162 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,040 I'm scared they won't let me in. 163 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,240 They just take one look at my scar. 164 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,040 Fucking happens every time I go for a job as well. 165 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,560 All right. 166 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,320 That's her uncles, man. It's Leonie's uncles. 167 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,680 All right? Leonie in there, aye? 168 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,600 Been expecting you to turn up here. 169 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,000 What are youse doing? Leonie wants me here! 170 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,600 - Fucking leave me. - What's going on here? 171 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,440 - Fucking leave me! Fucking leave me! - Shut it! 172 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,360 - Fucking Leonie wants me here! - Just shut your mouth, eh! 173 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,480 Fucking listen to me, for Christ's sake She just sent me a text. 174 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:22,000 Fucking hell, man. Look, I've got a right to be here. 175 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,480 - I've got a right to be here. - You've got fuck all, rights. 176 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,800 Get fucking up. 177 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,400 Now you listen here, you wee fucking maggot. 178 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,200 Your old man was an old prick. Your brother's a prick. And you're a prick. 179 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,600 You come from a long line of fucking losers, and it stops here. 180 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,520 Do you understand? Now, you go anywhere near Leonie, or the baby, 181 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:47,040 and I'll rip your fucking balls off you, and I'll ram them down your fucking throat! 182 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,200 Do you understand? 183 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,640 It's fuckin' my baby, too. 184 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:02,400 You keep your big fucking nose out of this! You understand? 185 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,960 You all right, Robbie? Eh? 186 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:15,400 Bastards. Are you all right, son? Eh? Oh, fucking hell. 187 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,640 Come back upstairs. 188 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,680 Can you get UP? 189 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,240 Come on. 190 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,960 Come on, come on. You all right? Eh? 191 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,960 Fucking do him. I'm gonna fucking do him! Get to fuck! 192 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,840 Fuck off, I'm gonna do them! Fuck off! 193 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,000 That's what they want, Robbie! No! 194 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,800 Don't be a mug. No! That's what they want! 195 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,040 They wanna see you behind bars! Ten years, eh? 196 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,640 Come on, don't be a mug. 197 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,720 You can't let them win like that! 198 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,160 You better fuck off, Harry! Fucking move! 199 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,360 - Come on! - I'll fucking kill them. 200 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:58,120 Robbie. Look. Think of the baby! Right? 201 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,840 Think of Leonie! Think! Eh? 202 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,160 Do you want to see your boy grow up? Eh? 203 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,880 Come on, Robbie. Come on, son. Eh? Come on. 204 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,040 - Do you need any help? - No, we're fine thanks. It's just a nosebleed. 205 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,280 Here. 206 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,080 You all right, son? 207 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,760 They're thugs. 208 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,720 - Do you want to phone the police? - No. 209 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:53,880 I'll help you out. 210 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,640 - No way, Harry. - I'll tell them what happened. 211 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,000 Harry, look, we never do that, ever. It's no happening. 212 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,240 Where are you living now? 213 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:12,320 Just sofa hopping from mates to mates, Harry. It's... 214 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,640 Trying to get a place of my own, but... 215 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,400 I tell you what. Come back to mine, eh? 216 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,360 We'll get you cleaned up properly and you can calm down. 217 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,600 Fucking smashed my phone, man. 218 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,040 There you go. 219 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,280 Text Leonie. 220 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,600 Thanks a lot, Harry. 221 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,040 What does Leonie's dad do? 222 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,400 Can you no guess? 223 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,480 Librarian? 224 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,080 No, him and his brothers run a couple of clubs up the East End. 225 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,000 Cunt makes a fortune. 226 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,200 Fucking hated me from the very first day, 227 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,320 then he found out... I gave him a nickname that stuck. 228 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,080 Didn't help when somebody fucking sprayed it over his nice lovely new car. 229 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,000 And what would that be? 230 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,960 "Psycho-balls". 231 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,280 - Have you got kids, Harry? - I've got two girls. They're down south. 232 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,640 Are youse close? 233 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,160 Is that anybody you know? 234 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,680 - It's Leonie. - Well, answer it, then. 235 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,800 Take it in there. Go on, get in the sitting room. 236 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,480 Hello? 237 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,280 Hello? 238 00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,520 Leonie. 239 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:04,080 I did it, Robbie. He's here. Seven pounds, six ounces. 240 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:09,640 - A son? - He's so beautiful. Honestly, he's just perfect 241 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,080 He's got these big blue eyes. 242 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,120 They're just like yours, Robbie, they're lovely. He's so beautiful. 243 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,440 I'll give you a phone back later, is that all right? 244 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,880 - I'll speak to you soon. I love you. - Love you. I'm so proud of you. 245 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,640 - B ye. Bye. - Bye. 246 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,840 I cannae believe it. A wee boy. 247 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,000 - What? - I'm a daddy. 248 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,360 Oh, congratulations, Robbie. 249 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:34,720 Cheers, mate. 250 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:38,200 - Ow! My ribs, you cunt. - This calls for something special. 251 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:39,960 Fucking hell, man. 252 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,200 This was a present off a grateful client. 253 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,560 I've had it for years and I've been waiting for a special occasion, and this is it. 254 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,840 Come on, park your arse. Eh? 255 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,520 Springbank. Thirty-two years old. Eh? 256 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,160 Whisky? I've never even tasted whisky. 257 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,720 We're gonna toast your first-born. 258 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,360 Fucking hell. 259 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,680 Eh? 260 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,880 - What's his name? - Luke. His name's Luke. 261 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,960 Eh? 262 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,720 I'm made up for you, son. 263 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,880 This is for... This is for Luke. And his old man. 264 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,920 Happy birthday, wee man. 265 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,720 Cheers, Robbie. 266 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,640 Fucking hell, Harry, man. Tastes like shit. 267 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,640 You Philippine. 268 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,200 - Can I add some Coke to that? - No. 269 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,880 I'll give you a drop of water. 270 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,640 - Luke, eh? - Aye. 271 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,040 That's a good name. Is it after your old man? 272 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,560 No way. 273 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,720 No chance. 274 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,840 - You okay? - Mm-hm. 275 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,040 Sure? 276 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:45,680 Thanks. 277 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,120 I'm so proud of you. 278 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,160 - Are you gonna pick up your son? - Can I? 279 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,520 I'm shaking. 280 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,200 - So, what do you think? - He's beautiful. 281 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,960 So perfect. 282 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,360 He's so perfect. 283 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,960 Luke. I love the sound of his name, Luke. 284 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,680 I know. Me, too. 285 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,160 So the midwife said to me that only half his brain's developed, 286 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,920 and that the next half depends on us. 287 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,080 You only get one shot at being a wee baby, Robbie. Just one. 288 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,000 You know what that means, don't you? 289 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,160 All right, wee man? 290 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,520 What does "TASC" mean? 291 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,280 Talk After Serious Crime. 292 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,040 Is that the one you went to prison for, when you really hurt the boy? 293 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,080 Fuck! What do they want to see me for? 294 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,880 Look, maybe it'll just help the boy and his family to deal with it. 295 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:19,960 Like cope with the past or something? That's the idea, isn't it? 296 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,240 - I served my fucking time. - What about them, Robbie? 297 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,720 Do they count? 298 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,760 Look, I think you should go. 299 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,760 It might help you, too. 300 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:50,680 Have a seat. 301 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,320 This is Anthony. Anthony's father Andrew. 302 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,200 Anthony's mother Alison, and Anthony's sister Shona. 303 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,400 This is Robbie. And Robbie's partner Leonie. 304 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,680 Good morning, everyone, and thank you for coming along to the meeting this morning. 305 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,080 Okay. 306 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,920 It was a Friday night. 307 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,320 I was going out with my girlfriend. 308 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,280 I hadn't seen her for. 309 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:33,000 all week so I was quite excited to go and see her. Erm... 310 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:41,040 We were just parking. Guess I swerved in quite quickly. 311 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,400 E rm 312 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,760 All of a sudden this guy is kicking the car, hitting the bonnet, 313 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,480 shouting and swearing at us, saying, 314 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,040 "Get the fuck out. Who the fuck do you think you are?“ 315 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:06,320 Next thing, he's grabbed me by the hair, he's pulling me out the car. I can't get him off. 316 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,520 He punches me in the face. 317 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,120 He hits my head off the car bonnet. 318 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,080 Starts kicking into me, I'm on the ground. Erm... 319 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,920 I just remember hearing Lindsay 320 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,360 begging for him to stop. 321 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000 I just remember thinking, 322 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,400 "This guy is gonna kill me." 323 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,360 And... 324 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,640 Erm... 325 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:47,640 The police said that the guy was coked up to the eyeballs. Erm... 326 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,680 I had 12 stitches in the back of my head. 327 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,360 Broken ribs, cracked wrist. 328 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,520 And, er, my eye was all messed up. 329 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,640 The surgeon said that 330 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,320 I was very lucky, 331 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,440 but... 332 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,880 I had a detached retina, 333 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:21,280 and I'd lost the sight in my right eye. 334 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:28,080 He had a fractured eye socket, which has left him with a squint. 335 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,280 He can't even see out that eye now. Proud of yourself? 336 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,080 I thought my son was gonna die. 337 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,600 I thought I'd lost him 338 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,480 because of you, because of what you've done to him. 339 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,000 When he came back out the hospital, he didn't even want to speak to anybody. 340 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,880 He just wanted to go into his room, on his own. Do nothing. 341 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,880 He packed in his college. 342 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,520 He split up with his girlfriend. 343 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,200 You're nothing. 344 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:11,560 You're just a wee thug that doesn't know any better. That's all you are. 345 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,760 Look at me. I don't even think you're sorry for what you've done. 346 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,320 Do you realise the pain and the damage that you have caused? 347 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,640 What you've put our family through? 348 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,600 Is there anything you would like to say to them? 349 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:57,600 Thank you. 350 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,520 I felt ashamed. 351 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,200 I did. 352 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,800 I wanted to tell her that if someone had done that to my son, 353 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,600 to Luke, I'd want the bastard hung. 354 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,960 Luke... 355 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,560 I swear on your life, and on mine, 356 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,320 that I will never hurt another person as long as I live. 357 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,360 That's a promise, wee man. 358 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,160 What if Clancy turns up? 359 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,200 What about your promise then? 360 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:56,760 Will you walk away? 361 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:01,800 Leonie, if I turn and walk away, 362 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,040 or run away, not gonna make a difference to me. 363 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,880 - He's gonna stab me in the back. - What is it between you two? 364 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,520 His dad fought my dad at school. 365 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,560 It's been like this for years, it's just the way it is. 366 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,240 Just the way it is? 367 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,440 And will Luke fight his son, too, Robbie? 368 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,240 Look at me, Robbie. Will Luke fight his son? 369 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,400 Just stuck in the same shit. 370 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,360 - Scared to lose face. - In front of who? 371 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:37,400 Look... 372 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,400 I want you to be a real father to my child. 373 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,800 And if no, 374 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,640 I will take care of Luke myself and I will make sure he is different. 375 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,320 - Harry, where are you taking us? - Wait and see. 376 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,200 Now listen, you lot. This is my day off. 377 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:26,000 And if I get caught out in the van with you lot, I'm gonna be up shit creek without a canoe. 378 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,800 So I want you to all repeat after me, 379 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,800 I hereby do solemnly swear... 380 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,480 I hereby do solemnly swear... 381 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,440 All of you. Nice and loud. 382 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,760 Anybody don't say it, I'm gonna drop you off and you can walk back. 383 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,440 - I hereby do solemnly swear... - I hereby do solemnly swear... 384 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,080 - ...not to fight, drink or rob. - ...not to fight, drink or rob. 385 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,200 - And I also do... - And I also do... 386 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,000 - ...swear... - ...swear... 387 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,520 ...to worship the ground on which big Harry walks. 388 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,800 Get to fuck, man! I'm no saying that! 389 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,440 Too far, Harry. Come on. Just tell us where we're going. 390 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:07,000 It's a sacred place. We're going to a distillery. 391 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,280 Drink? Yes! 392 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,680 So, the first room we're coming into is the mash house. 393 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,880 This is the mash tun here and it's massive. Come on, have a look at it. 394 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,080 It's really big. It takes 10 and a half tons of malted barley, 395 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:50,320 and to that we add 40,000 liters of hot water. 396 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,200 What we're doing at this stage is mixing the barley and the hot water 397 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,320 for the conversion of starch to sugar. 398 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,200 Here we are in the fermentation room. 399 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,920 This is where we ferment the wort we've just extracted from the mash tun. 400 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,480 It's also where we take the third ingredient, 401 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:15,080 the third of the three simple ingredients, which is yeast, and we add it to the mix. 402 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,760 And as soon as we add the yeast, because it's been dehydrated, 403 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,640 as soon as we add it to the wort, it starts to ferment. 404 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,000 I'll show you it. 405 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,240 Fuck me, that's strong, ain't it, man. 406 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,560 Actually, I need a volunteer. 407 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,120 - Who's got a sensitive nose? - Aye, I'll do it. 408 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,160 I'll do it... I'll do it. 409 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:37,840 I'll take you. 410 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,720 What I want you to do is just get your head in there and have a good sniff. 411 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,400 You're at it! 412 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:57,280 This is called the still house. It really is such a beautiful room. 413 00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,840 Be careful you don't touch anything though. It's really hot and you could burn yourself. 414 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,560 Come on up. 415 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,600 So this is the still house, and it's such an important room in the house. 416 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,640 It's kinda like the heart of the distillery. 417 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:21,520 It's where all the magic really does happen, and it happens in these four stills here. 418 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,240 If I was to change one of these stills, 419 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:28,400 I'd have to make sure every single dent, every nook and cranny was the exact same, 420 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,000 otherwise it could alter the flavour of the whisky. 421 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,480 Come on, follow me. 422 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,520 She's got the body of a goddess. 423 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,800 Come on round this one here. 424 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,240 Now, there's a subtle reaction between the wood and the spirit, 425 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,760 because the wood actually flavours and colours the spirit. 426 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,480 It's amazing. And they were crafted so beautifully that they actually breathe. 427 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,160 - I'm sorry, you can't actually smoke in here. - Sorry, man. 428 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,080 - Fuck's sake, you. Give us it. - I'm sorry. 429 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,960 - You stupid? You no go to school, no? - No. It's my last fag, man. 430 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,160 - Don't give a fuck, you'll blow us all up, man. - 'Sake, man. 431 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:36,480 Stupid cunt. 432 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,840 - Sorry about that, Mairi. - Thank you. 433 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,880 How long do you keep the whisky in the casks for? 434 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,480 Ten, twenty, thirty years. It just depends. 435 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,760 - What's the most expensive one? - The most expensive? 436 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,120 Well, we actually found a cast about... a cask about a year ago. 437 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,800 And we sold one bottle from the cask for £100,000. 438 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,600 £100,000? 439 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:01,280 You know I could buy 30,000 bottles of Buckie for that! 440 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:02,960 That's 30 years of bevvy. 441 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,560 - Unbelievable. - It's a lot of money. 442 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,280 Andrew, can you show us how to flog the bung? 443 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,840 Flogging the bung's not something you do up the dancing on a Saturday night. 444 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,320 It's actually how we traditionally open a cask. 445 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,440 Thank you. 446 00:34:24,720 --> 00:34:28,360 Now every year about 2 % of the spirit is actually lost. 447 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,680 It just disappears and evaporates into thin air. Gone forever. 448 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,200 It's what we call the "angels' share". 449 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,200 - Now who fancies a wee dram? - Aye, me, me. 450 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,880 I bet you would. Come on, we'll go back to the visitor centre. 451 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,880 The angels' share. I like that. 452 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,880 That's good. Aye, that is good. 453 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,320 There we are. 454 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,200 Now, our noses are so sensitive we can actually detect 455 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,800 scents that have been diluted to one-millionth of a part. 456 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,760 It's our most primitive sense. 457 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,720 Right here goes back to when we used to crawl about as reptiles on our bellies. 458 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,680 Well, some people will never change, eh? 459 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,480 Did youse know, and this is fact by the way, 460 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,880 the sexual behaviour of mice is driven by what they sniff? 461 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:29,680 What are youse laughing at? 462 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,560 - Is that serious? - Yeah, serious. 463 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,880 So when they smell cheese, they get a hard-on, is that it? 464 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,080 Fuck off. 465 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,880 What I want you to do is have a little nose of the whisky. 466 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,200 That's basically a wee smell. 467 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,920 And tell me what you think it reminds you of. 468 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:49,480 My Da's breath when I was wee, that's what it reminds me of. 469 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,600 Reminds me of an old pub what used to be at the bottom of my street. 470 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,440 Anything else? 471 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,400 It's like Christmas cake I had once at my nana's house. 472 00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,640 Well done. 473 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:05,320 That's really good. The Christmas cake that you're smelling is the fruity flavours. 474 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,240 Very impressed. 475 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,040 Right as rain. Tough 'un, me. 476 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,440 - How much did you have anyway? - I had one double and that was it. 477 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,000 - We were watching you. - I had one. 478 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,680 Put your fags out, boys. It's no smoking in the van, you know the score. 479 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,960 All aboard! 480 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,880 Did you steal something, Mo? 481 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,520 - Nothing. - Doesn't sound like nothing, Mo. 482 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,760 I couldn't resist it. It was far too easy in there. 483 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,200 - Jesus Christ, Mo. You're a fucking disgrace. - Put them back. 484 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,600 Harry could lose his job. 485 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,560 Do you want them? I don't like whisky anyway. 486 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,480 No, I don't fucking want them, Mo. We made Harry a promise. 487 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,240 So you read all these, then? 488 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,800 Cannae get the fucker out the library these days. 489 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,280 - You bastard. - Nose it. 490 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,720 Fucking watch that aerial, it's holding the telly together. 491 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,680 Look at the state of the fucking thing. What are you talking about? 492 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,560 Fucking £6 I paid for that bad boy! 493 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,080 Heavy, sweet and peaty. 494 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,200 - It's like a whiff of sea breeze off it. - There's something coming off it. 495 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,840 It's... It's a... 496 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,640 Highland malt for cert. 497 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,960 Sea breeze? All we need now is a fucking rainbow. 498 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,320 I know what you mean. I can... The saltiness off it. 499 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,600 - Aye. Get that? - It's sweet, too. 500 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:12,640 Bullshit. It's all the same to me. 501 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:19,680 What are you doing... 502 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,200 Albert. 503 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,080 Oh! 504 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,280 - Albert... Fuck's sake, man. - Fucking hell, man. 505 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,640 - Sorry. - Fuckin' boggin'. 506 00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,600 Jesus Christ. 507 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,280 Here, smell the peat. 508 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:36,840 Pete? Who the fuck is Pete? 509 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,160 They get it from the ground then they dig it up. 510 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,600 What? You dig it up and you throw it in a drink, 511 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,960 and youse are wondering why it's barking of shite? 512 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,040 Look, give yourselves a bit of time, guys, right? 513 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,680 I was like that at first, and then big Harry started to show me how to do it, 514 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,720 showed me the tricks of the trade. 515 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,080 Right, give us it over. Let's try this one. 516 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,840 Fucking volume. Work, work! 517 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,640 Volume, you bastard. Work. Fucking work. 518 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,120 A bit... a bit spicy. 519 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,600 - Where does that smell come from? - The casks. 520 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,640 It's like, maybe like a short fermentation. 521 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:19,560 American oak gives off like coconut, vanilla. Maybe sometimes even like a chocolate. 522 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,560 - That's it. That's it. - Albert, I'm telling you, mate. It's the truth. 523 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,680 Sea breeze, nutty and now fucking coconut. 524 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,280 Are youse three fucking trying to set me up here? Do you think I'm fucking daft? 525 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,800 Aye. You're dumb as fuck. Just listen to him. He'll tell you. 526 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,760 I cannae believe we're having all this drink and we're no even getting pished. 527 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,760 Me either, man. I need a fucking drink. 528 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,200 You're not getting a drink, look at the state of you. 529 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,120 Listen to what this book's saying, right. 530 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:52,400 "Sense explodes from the murky undergrowth of times past. 531 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,600 "The dank, dark aromas of yesteryear waft around us." 532 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,600 What the fuck is that? 533 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,720 - Good arse. - Dougie! 534 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,920 - Dirty, skunky, smelly bastard. - I've got company. 535 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,280 Sorry, troops, but I need a fucking drink, man. 536 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,360 You're disgusting, you, man. 537 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,600 - Don't you bother! - Dougie! What you doing? 538 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:15,760 - Oh my God! - Oh, don't! 539 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,960 Fuck's sake, man. 540 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:20,000 Minging, mate. 541 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,920 - Oh, you are smelling! - Check it out. 542 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,040 You're a dirty, clatty bastard. Has he finished doing that yet, Mo? 543 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:35,440 That's actually tasty, by the way. Peaty and a wee bit lumpy. 544 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,560 Oh, God. 545 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,080 - Sweet. - Yes. 546 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:57,960 Look at that. 547 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,360 A wee shot to nothing there. Just left that long red on. 548 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,800 Is it on? 549 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,640 Four nil. 550 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,600 Points. Four points to nil. 551 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,360 Lucky Alberto. 552 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,320 Albert's played a bit of snooker in his day, I tell you that. 553 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,040 What the hell was that? 554 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,280 - How did that go in there? - That's crap. 555 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:23,880 Oh, man. 556 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,400 Put my balls in that pocket. 557 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,280 Evening, all. 558 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,200 Youse three get to fuck. I want a word with Robbie. 559 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:36,840 Fuck off. 560 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,040 You want a word with me? What, does it fucking take three of youse? 561 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:41,720 Fuck you, you fucking cunt! 562 00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,840 Robbie, run! 563 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,720 Robbie, get outta here! Robbie, run! Run! 564 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,400 You wee fuck! 565 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,000 Oh, fuck. 566 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,520 Fucking caught you, daftie. 567 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,080 Right, no cunt touches him but me. 568 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,840 What are you gonna do with that? 569 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,200 Fucking skelped you before, I'll skelp you again. 570 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,520 Aye, because you had a fuckin' lucky shot. Put it down, we'll have a square go right now. 571 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:43,960 Get out of the way! 572 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:48,280 Clancy! Get a leash on those bastards! 573 00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,000 Thanks, Matt. 574 00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:58,680 Shut up! 575 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,480 Look at the state of these scumbags. 576 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,640 Some place to bring up a fucking wean. 577 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,240 Why can't you just give me a chance? 578 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,680 Just one more chance, Matt, that's all I'm asking. 579 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:40,840 I'll look after Leonie. I'm gonna be a good dad. 580 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,600 You don't get it, do you? It's too late for you. 581 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,160 Even if you wanted to change, they're not gonna let you. 582 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,840 You think you can reason with the likes of Clancy and that? I don't think so. 583 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,920 Your only chance, son, is getting out of Glasgow. 584 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:57,880 And I'm gonna help you. 585 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,080 I'll give you five grand 586 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:04,000 to head to London on your own, new start. 587 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:09,840 For fuck's sake, Robbie, look at yourself. What can you offer my daughter, eh? 588 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,040 I mean, look at the state of this place. 589 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,360 Look at the state of your face, all fucking chib-marked. 590 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,760 No job. Never have a job. 591 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,920 Even the Army wouldn't touch you with a barge pole. 592 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:29,000 Can you not see Leonie and Vincent would be far better off without you? 593 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:30,800 Vincent? 594 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:35,520 Aye, Vincent. Leonie's baby. My grandchild. 595 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:40,200 My son's name's Luke. I named him Luke. It will always be Luke. 596 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,920 Have you listened to a fucking word I've said? 597 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,400 You're as thick as shite. Go on, beat it! 598 00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:52,920 Fucking waste of space. 599 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,320 You stupid prick, you! 600 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:38,680 - Consecrated ground. Show some respect. - I'm soaking. I swear I'm wringing. 601 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,400 You'll live. What are you doing that for? 602 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:41,800 Don't listen to him. He's full of it! 603 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:43,000 He's soaking. 604 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,800 - You all right there, Mo? - All right, Harry? 605 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,480 - You all right, Robbie? - I'm fine. 606 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:55,200 - Everything all right with Luke and Leonie? - Great, just fucking perfect. 607 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,400 Fucking perfect, Harry. 608 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,480 Listen, I'm going to Edinburgh at the weekend. 609 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:04,440 You fancy coming? A whisky meeting. 610 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,560 I'm skint. 611 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:09,840 I'll get you the ticket. 612 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,840 - Can I come? - It's a whisky meeting. 613 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,680 - It's all right, I'm into that. - Are you? 614 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:18,800 Aye. 615 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:21,840 Yeah, all right. 616 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:26,320 Albert! Rhino! Going to Edinburgh at the weekend. 617 00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:30,320 - What's that? - We're going to Edinburgh at the weekend. 618 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,560 - Who is? - Us. Harry's taking us. 619 00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:34,800 Where we going? 620 00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:38,280 Me and Robbie are going to Edinburgh for a whisky meeting. 621 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:42,040 - What, are we coming then? - Obviously it's all right. 622 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,880 Is that a definite? We can come? 623 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,560 - Obviously it is. - Yeah, yeah. 624 00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,120 Couple of wee glasses of whisky, that'll be nice. 625 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,080 Willy, you up for it? 626 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,360 - Edinburgh? Aye, I'll go. When is it? - Weekend, mate. 627 00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:58,640 Oh no, I cannae, I've got a christening at the weekend. 628 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,920 Bastard. She'll kill me if I go to Edinburgh, man. 629 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,680 Sorry, Harry, you need to send my apologies, big man. 630 00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,920 Never mind. Maybe next time, eh? 631 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,560 What is that? 632 00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:18,920 - What's he talking about? - I don't know. 633 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,360 That there. What is that? 634 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,880 What, that big thing on top of the hill? 635 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,240 You cannae miss that. What is that? 636 00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,240 - That's Edinburgh Castle, Albert. - Is it? 637 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,480 - Aye. - What did they put it up there for? 638 00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,800 - Are you taking the piss? - No. 639 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,040 What did they put it up there for? Look at it. 640 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,120 What did they put it up... How the fuck do I know? 641 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,320 - You don't recognise Edinburgh Castle? - No. I wouldn't have been asking you. 642 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,240 - You been living in a cupboard all your life? - And what's the matter with that? 643 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,400 - Is there no shortbread in your house? - You're a fool! 644 00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,920 Next time you go home, check all the tins. 645 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:07,640 Ladies and gentlemen, 646 00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,320 the final whisky in our initial tasting, number five, 647 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,680 is, as you'll see on your chart, a Lagavulin. 648 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,880 Lagavulin, 16 years old from the Isle of Islay. 649 00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:26,040 If you have a look at it, it has a fine deep color, 650 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:31,840 and a beautiful, rich, somewhat maritime nose. 651 00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,640 Have a little... have a little sip. 652 00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:44,560 Beautiful. It's a lovely sweet start and then this blast of smoke 653 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,000 just as you swallow. 654 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:52,560 Very, very elegant. The Prince of Islays it was once called. 655 00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,600 - Gorgeous whisky. Like that whisky? - Yes. 656 00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,640 Now then, the final game. 657 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,520 Erm... A surprise blind tasting, 658 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,080 for which I need four volunteers. 659 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:08,600 Four volunteers. 660 00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:12,000 - Yes, sir. Great. - I'll do it. 661 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,520 First volunteer. 662 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,360 - What's your name? - I'm Garrett from Oakland, California. 663 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,720 - California? Welcome to Edinburgh. - The West Coast. Thank you. 664 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,840 - Yes, sir, well done. - Ian McDonald, Inverness. 665 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,000 Inverness. Welcome to Edinburgh. 666 00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,640 Now come on, we need another two. 667 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,160 I was just thinking. One of you young guys at the back. 668 00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,440 Let's get a younger nose. 669 00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:39,360 I'll go with you, I'll go with you. 670 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:48,120 - Well done. What's your name, son? - I'm Robbie from Carntyne. 671 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:49,640 Hi. Welcome. 672 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,920 - Hi. Harry from Manchester. - From Manchester? 673 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,240 Oh, we've got a range... a range of locations. 674 00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,200 Okay. One whisky. 675 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,360 I'll come round in front of you. 676 00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,400 Thank you. 677 00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,720 And I want you to try and describe it. 678 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,560 And possibly to guess which one it is. 679 00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:14,360 Um... The color tells you that it's probably got a bit of... 680 00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:18,760 It's probably a mix of casks, both of American oak and European oak. 681 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,600 A sweet nose. 682 00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,400 Come on, describe it to me. Fruity? 683 00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,320 - Polish I'm smelling... - Polish? Yes. 684 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,680 - Wax polish. - What, like furniture polish? 685 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,160 Yes. Leather and polish and... 686 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:36,720 I'd certainly agree with that. 687 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,280 So, in the mouth. 688 00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:48,000 Big sweetness to start with. And then tannic, drying. 689 00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,320 Again, it's certainly got some European oak... 690 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,920 Robbie? Come on, have a wee guess. 691 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,760 I was thinking maybe, er... 692 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,760 A Glenfarclas or maybe a Cragganmore. 693 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,560 Well, you know, that's very interesting because 694 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,160 I was really swithering between those two myself. Erm... 695 00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:12,800 - Choose one. - Glenfarclas. 696 00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,440 Okay. Well, I'll say Cragganmore. 697 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:24,080 Cragganmore. 698 00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,040 I don't usually get it right, actually. 699 00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:30,520 Well done, boys. That was very good. You were very close, all of you. 700 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,120 Well done. That's great. 701 00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,840 In your personal opinion, not from a book or anything, 702 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:48,840 what is the finest tasting whisky in the world that you've ever tasted? 703 00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,040 Last night, coincidentally, 704 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:57,520 I was asked to look at a sample of a whisky which... 705 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:01,480 I really do think would be a 10, a 10 out of 10. 706 00:52:01,720 --> 00:52:04,720 It was the most incredible whisky. 707 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:09,120 - Can you tell us what it was? - Come on, please. 708 00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:14,920 But it will come to auction within the next couple of weeks, 709 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,520 and my goodness, it'll be all over the... all over the press. 710 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:22,680 Erm... It was a strange story associated with it because 711 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:27,280 the distillery itself closed in the early 1960s 712 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,200 and the cask was discovered in a warehouse 713 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:35,520 a long, long way from where the original making distillery was located. 714 00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:41,480 And it's supposed that it might have been an exchange on marriage 715 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,840 between the manager of the distillery which made this whisky 716 00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,760 and the manager of the distillery where it was found. 717 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,800 You said it's going to public auction. 718 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,440 Can you give me an idea... a rough idea of how much a bottle would be worth? 719 00:52:56,720 --> 00:53:00,320 This whisky is so rare... that, erm... 720 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:06,000 it's unknown. And a cask of it is simply beyond price. 721 00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,120 Never judge a book by its cover, eh? 722 00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,600 Can I ask you something? 723 00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:27,960 Try this. 724 00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:33,560 What do you think? 725 00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,000 That's easy. 726 00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:38,400 Where did you pick that up? 727 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:40,840 You've got a very good nose. 728 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:44,720 Here. Take my card. You never know. 729 00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:50,360 - Thaddeus Maloney? - Whisky collector. 730 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,240 Know how that whisky guy? 731 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,960 He was standing talking to somebody and left his papers on the table. 732 00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,200 I nicked this from the pile. 733 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,200 I know where the distillery is and the cask. It's a Malt Mill. 734 00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,200 Are you fucking mad, Mo? 735 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,200 What? This could be our big chance to make money, Robbie. 736 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:20,720 Make money? If I get caught doing anything like that, I'll get five years at least. 737 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,480 Do you think they're gonna suspect scruffs like us? 738 00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:26,640 Look, Mo, I've told Leonie, I'm done with all of that. 739 00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:30,640 Just hurry up, man. Look, you get caught every time anyway. Come on. 740 00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,280 - Are you sure you have the right address? - I'm positive. 741 00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:48,720 Maybe I should just wait. Don't want to fuck up, Leonie. 742 00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:53,720 It's all right, she knows all about you. Look, it's my auntie's best pal. Come on. 743 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:03,280 It's on a timer so just change it to suit yourselves, yeah? 744 00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:05,400 Show you the bathroom? Okay. 745 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,160 Oh, and fridge and freezer's just there. 746 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:15,120 Basic bathroom. Toilet down the back. Sink's just there and you've got a bath. 747 00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,520 And there's actually a shower over the bath. 748 00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,160 And I'll show you, the bedroom's just here. 749 00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,360 - It's lovely. - Thank you. 750 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,040 What I'll do is, I'll clear out some space in the wardrobe 751 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,840 so you can hang up your belongings. Give you plenty of room. 752 00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,120 All right, well, I'll show you the living room. 753 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,840 It's so beautiful. 754 00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,040 Robbie, what do you think? 755 00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,000 Why are you doing this for us? 756 00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,840 Someone gave me a chance once and it changed my life. 757 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:05,160 And it sure sounds like you two could do with some luck. 758 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,280 Anyway, I'm only in London for six months. 759 00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:09,840 Thanks, Grace. 760 00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,240 Thank you. 761 00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,880 Now, I can drop you off in the city centre. Is that okay? 762 00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:20,760 That'd be great. Thanks very much, that's perfect. 763 00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:22,840 - Thanks, Grace. - No problem. It's just over here. 764 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,840 Hey, wee man, don't start crying now. 765 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,960 I'll take him. 766 00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:48,440 There you go. That's a good boy. 767 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,560 Leonie, do you want to just go and I'll catch up with you later? 768 00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:00,920 - How? What's up? - Nothing. I just want to get a feel for the area. 769 00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:02,600 - It's still a bit of a shock. - That's fine. 770 00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,480 Aye, okay. Just give me a call, then. 771 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,160 - See you later. - See you later, right. 772 00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:16,720 You fucking prick! Fucking following me! 773 00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,760 - No, I was seeing my pal. - Seeing a pal? 774 00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:21,880 Fucking dick. 775 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,120 Do you no fucking understand, you prick? Eh? 776 00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:37,080 I just want to have my life! With my fucking family. 777 00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:41,120 You better tell me the truth or you're getting it. Did you follow me? 778 00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:42,480 HOW? 779 00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:46,120 On my motorbike across the road. Clancy told me to. 780 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,800 - Have you told him yet? - No! And I willnae. 781 00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,200 - Who were you fucking texting then? - I was texting my fucking mate! 782 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:54,280 Give me the phone. 783 00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:57,480 - Show me the fucking phone! - Right. Here you are. 784 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,440 Don't fucking move. 785 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:04,040 Fuck! 786 00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,240 - Fucking knows the address! - I'm sorry, mate. He's lost the fuckin' plot! 787 00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,680 You better fucking tell me. It's so fucking perfect here. 788 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:14,320 You've fucking ruined everything for me now. 789 00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:18,920 You're fucking lucky, Sniper. You're lucky I'm not taking your fucking eye out right now. 790 00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,640 Stay there. Don't fucking follow me. Prick! 791 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,520 - Give me my fucking phone back. - Fuck off! 792 00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,600 Fuck you. 793 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,600 Wrong bike, you prick! 794 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,120 Shit! Fuck. 795 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:04,680 I'm fucking gonna explode, Harry. I can feel it in my bones. 796 00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:09,280 I'm scared. Scared the next time I won't be able to stop. 797 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:14,200 I was this close. This fucking close to taking someone's eye out. 798 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,560 I scared myself, Harry. 799 00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:23,640 Leonie's dad's right. Once you're involved in this shit you cannae get out. 800 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:25,440 Leonie's dad? 801 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:30,000 All you've gotta do is keep your head down. Keep out of sight for awhile. 802 00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,680 - Gonna fuck off to London, Harry. - What? 803 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:36,440 Gonna fuck off to London. 804 00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,680 Psycho-balls offered me five grand. 805 00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:47,480 You what? Leonie's dad's gonna help you? 806 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,120 He's bought you off? 807 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:55,400 I don't believe this. You're gonna piss off and leave Leonie and Luke? 808 00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,480 Harry, what am I meant to do? 809 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,840 I cannae get a job. I cannae even get an interview for a job. 810 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,520 I cannae drag my family through a homeless unit. 811 01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,280 They're better off where they are. 812 01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:10,800 Listen, you can't do this. Now, take it from me. 813 01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,920 Time passes and things change. You might never see them again. 814 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:17,120 You can't do this. There's gotta be something else. 815 01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:20,280 Have you ever tried a Malt Mill? 816 01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:22,480 What? 817 01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:26,440 A Malt Mill, have you ever tried it? 818 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:29,920 No, I haven't, no. 819 01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,280 It's... It's the Holy Grail. 820 01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:36,880 This is, without doubt, a genuine Malt Mill, the only cask left in existence, 821 01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:41,160 and since there are only three known bottles, and two of these are suspected fakes, 822 01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:44,240 every serious collector in the world would pay a fortune. 823 01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:49,720 In my view, it is likely that the sale could raise in excess of a million pounds. 824 01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:51,040 What? 825 01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:53,520 - No way. - Fuck me. 826 01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:55,840 A million smackeroonies. 827 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,040 My body is pure shaking, honestly. 828 01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,480 If you were a man you'd have a hard-on. 829 01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:07,880 Have a wee seat, guys. Please. Just till we have a serious think about this. 830 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,160 I mean, what is that? Like a quarter of a million each or something? 831 01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:15,760 Right, this is what's happening. 832 01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:17,760 They're gonna have the auction where the cask is, 833 01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:19,960 away up North in Dornoch Firth. 834 01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:24,280 Then what they'll do is invite the richest collectors, dealers, 835 01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:27,280 to come for a tasting session with the Grand Master. 836 01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:31,760 - That's followed by a cellik in a local hotel. - A ceilidh you mean? 837 01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:35,960 Well, a ceilidh, smartarse. In a local hotel, and that's the 16th of June. 838 01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:40,640 What the fuck is a "Firth"? Dornoch Firth? 839 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:44,400 We'll probably need huskies, maybe even a boat, depending where it is. 840 01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:47,960 Even if we find this place, how are we gonna get away with it? 841 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,040 It'll be like fucking Alcatraz or something. 842 01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:54,160 And then when we get it, who's gonna take it off of scum like us? 843 01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:55,600 Speak for yourself. 844 01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,320 It's equivalent to having the Mona Lisa in your bedroom. 845 01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:01,360 Mona who? 846 01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:03,120 Mona Lisa. 847 01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,640 You know, the Mona Lisa. 848 01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:07,960 All right, I'm just asking, fuck's sake. 849 01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:12,440 You know, when I was in prison, I met this old guy. 850 01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:16,080 Smart old cunt. Used to read books and that. 851 01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,880 And he used to tell a tale about an Arab smuggler 852 01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:24,760 who used to go across the border every day with bags of straw and his donkey. 853 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:29,760 He admitted to the guards he was a smuggler, so every day they used to search him. 854 01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,480 They couldn't find a thing. 855 01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:35,600 Once he retired, one of the guards found him one day and says to him, 856 01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:40,360 "Right, come on, tell us. You've gotta tell us now. What have you been smuggling?" 857 01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:43,680 The old guy smiles and turns round and says, "Donkeys. 858 01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,120 "I was smuggling donkeys." 859 01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:52,800 How in the name of fuck can we get a donkey away up there? 860 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,840 - You're a donkey. - I was just about to say that. 861 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,640 We're taking a donkey. 862 01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:01,440 Thing is, look at us. Eh? We'll stick out like a couple of sore thumbs up there. 863 01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:05,400 May as well have "Criminals on community service" tattooed on our forehead. 864 01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:07,720 We're all wearing trackies. We look like neds, right? 865 01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:10,680 You put on a suit then it just looks like we're going to court. 866 01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:12,640 Especially you, Robbie. 867 01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,520 I know what you're saying, guys. 868 01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,240 Kilts! 869 01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:25,840 We could wear kilts. 870 01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,200 Nobody ever bothers anybody wearing a kilt. 871 01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:31,640 We'd just look like friendly wee cunts up the Highlands. 872 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,120 Whisky train spotters, know what I mean? 873 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,920 Albert Einstein. 874 01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:38,800 Albert Einstein? Who the fuck's that? 875 01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:42,000 He was a friend of Mona's. Remember Mona? 876 01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:46,920 For fuck's sake. We're back to Mona now. What's next, "donkey"? Come on. 877 01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:07,040 Arse! 878 01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:08,880 Arse! 879 01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:16,000 - Come on. Please! - Now they've gotta let us on. 880 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:17,840 Stop the bus! 881 01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,600 They're stopping. They're stopping. 882 01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,480 What did I tell you? 883 01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:38,880 Fuck me. Sound Of Music. 884 01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:41,120 Hey, Albert! 885 01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:44,160 Sorry, Sisters, you cannae control these Protestants, you know. 886 01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:51,080 ♪ I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more 887 01:04:51,640 --> 01:04:55,720 ♪ Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles 888 01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:58,480 ♪ To fall down at your door 889 01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,080 ♪ When I'm working Yes I know I'm gonna be 890 01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,880 ♪ I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you 891 01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:09,600 ♪ And when the money comes in for the work I do 892 01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:13,120 ♪ I'll pass almost every penny on to you 893 01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,200 ♪ When I come home ♪ When I come home 894 01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:16,880 ♪ Oh, I know I'm gonna be 895 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:20,160 ♪ I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you 896 01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:24,000 ♪ And if I grow old Well, I know I'm gonna be 897 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:27,600 ♪ I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you 898 01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:34,760 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more... ♪ 899 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,480 Cheese! 900 01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:42,160 Lovely. Thank you. 901 01:05:45,120 --> 01:05:46,720 Are you from Highlands? 902 01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:50,920 Actually, my great, great grandfather, he was a Highland chief. 903 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:55,400 This kilt is the tartan and I wear it with pride every time I put it on. 904 01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:57,880 That's why you wear it back to front? 905 01:05:58,680 --> 01:05:59,960 Oh, right. 906 01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:08,000 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more 907 01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:12,400 ♪ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles... ♪ 908 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,800 Albert. Come on, mate. Nearly there. 909 01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:18,080 Come on to fuck, mate. 910 01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:21,560 It's this sporran, man, it keeps banging off my tadger. 911 01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:26,360 My fucking balls are killing. Fucking no wonder the Highlands are deserted, man. 912 01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:29,880 Fucking, my meat and two veg are taking a hammering here. 913 01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:31,320 God. 914 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,840 Clatty tadger. 915 01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:37,880 It's no your sporran that's hurtin' your baws. 916 01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:45,760 Guys! What the fuck youse playing at? 917 01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:47,480 It's Alberto! 918 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:52,280 Fucking in agony here. Fuck's sake, and you're leaving me away behind? 919 01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:57,600 And I'm starving. Fucking palpi-fucking-tations in my heart. 920 01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:01,880 Fucking chaffed bollocks. I'm fucking raging. 921 01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,920 Shocking by the way. Youse are shocking. 922 01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:17,520 All right. 923 01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:20,840 - Fuck's sake, man. - Fuck's sake, Albert. What you doing? 924 01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:22,680 Fucking howling hoofs! 925 01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:25,480 Give us one of those pieces over, eh? 926 01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:30,280 Fuck off! Go and wash your hands, you clatty bastard. Disgustin'! 927 01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:33,440 - Look, mate, that'll cheer you up - For God's sake! 928 01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:35,520 Balblair Distillery. 929 01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:40,320 The promised land. Treasures in there, mate. Fucking treasures. 930 01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:43,000 Ah, but one wee problem. 931 01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:46,200 It's in there, we're out here. 932 01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:47,760 No fucking plan, 933 01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:50,080 and I'm risking my foreskin for fuck all. 934 01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:54,520 Before we left I made a phone call. We're gonna go and meet somebody. 935 01:07:55,720 --> 01:07:57,840 What the fuck have you been up to? 936 01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,760 Just fucking trust me and you'll find out. 937 01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:18,960 - How you doin? - Pleasure to meet you. 938 01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,600 All the way from Glasgow, eh? That's an impressive trip. 939 01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:25,240 So this is the Carntyne Malt Whisky Club? 940 01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:29,920 Well, thanks for seeing us, Mr Dobie. We're just newly set up. 941 01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,680 My name's Robbie. I'm the President. 942 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:35,520 This here's Albert, Financial Secretary. 943 01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:37,800 Rhino looks after new membership. 944 01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:41,920 And Mo, Social Secretary and general procurement of whatever we need. 945 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:46,120 Oh, very impressive. Good. And what can we do for you? 946 01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:48,800 Well, we've read the reports and, for us, 947 01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:52,600 the auction of a Malt Mill is more important than landing on the moon. 948 01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:57,040 We've come to ask for your autograph and, if possible, for the newsletter, 949 01:08:57,240 --> 01:09:00,200 could we get a photograph of you with the cask? 950 01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:05,560 And only if it's no bother, also, 951 01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:10,400 if you could let us witness the tasting with the Master of Quaich, Mr Rory McAllister. 952 01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:14,000 It's just so we could tell the grandchildren that we were there. 953 01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:15,880 Isn't that sweet? 954 01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:18,840 It's more than sweet. This is just so impressive. 955 01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:23,000 - That ain't very good, is it? - It's up, isn't it? 956 01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:24,960 Do you know something? 957 01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:29,840 I can't believe you dragged us all the way up here to risk us to get the jail for fuck all. 958 01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:32,600 Shut it. Give us your Irn-Bru bottles. 959 01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,040 They've even got our photos as well now. 960 01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,720 With my record, when they know it's gone I'm fucked. 961 01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:40,800 I thought you were smart. 962 01:09:41,440 --> 01:09:44,080 Once they know? But they're not gonna know. 963 01:09:44,360 --> 01:09:45,960 Nothing's gonna go missing. 964 01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:49,760 Everything's gonna be all right. It's all good. 965 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:51,560 Are you off your head? 966 01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:55,080 And did you no see how fucking big the lock were on the door? 967 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:57,600 And the camera and the alarms? 968 01:09:57,840 --> 01:10:01,720 The camera and the alarms? There's one camera. One alarm. There's none inside. 969 01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:03,480 How do you know that? 970 01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:08,160 I asked the fucking secretary. The last reported theft was with the Vikings. 971 01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:13,040 Listen, during the tasting, 972 01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:17,360 everybody's eyes are gonna be glued to the Master. Right? 973 01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:23,160 So when we go in, youse will cover me. No one will see us. 974 01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:26,720 I'll simply drift in behind the barrels. Right? 975 01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:31,720 During the night, be all locked up, I'll give youse a text. 976 01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:34,640 Youse will come over with the gear, the bottles and stuff. 977 01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:16,120 Hello. 978 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,280 I hope you're not gonna outbid me. 979 01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:22,360 You never know, Mr Maloney. You never know. 980 01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:32,080 Right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Balblair Distillery 981 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:36,080 on what is a unique day in the history of the distillery. 982 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:39,000 We are privileged to have with us Master of the Quaich, 983 01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:41,880 who will evaluate what's in here. 984 01:11:42,640 --> 01:11:47,480 So, without further ado I shall turn you over to Rory McAllister. 985 01:11:52,960 --> 01:11:54,280 Thank you, Angus. 986 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,320 And may I add my welcome to his. 987 01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:02,280 This is, without doubt, a most unusual occasion. 988 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:08,120 The discovery of this small cask of Malt Mill 989 01:12:08,440 --> 01:12:10,080 is unprecedented. 990 01:12:11,440 --> 01:12:15,320 Now then, the moment of truth. Would you like to draw the bung? 991 01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:17,040 Right. Gentlemen... 992 01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:21,720 Choose your weapons. 993 01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,080 Oh, that was well done. 994 01:12:36,800 --> 01:12:38,240 Thank you very much. 995 01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:42,320 You'll see by the color that it's got a gorgeous deep amber color, 996 01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:45,560 but not the sort of color you'd expect from European oak. 997 01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:49,320 This is... I think it's probably been matured in an American oak butt. 998 01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:51,880 Lovely bright color. 999 01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:57,000 It really, I can... I wish I could share it with you. 1000 01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,360 It is one of the most extraordinary whiskies 1001 01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:03,000 I've ever had the pleasure to taste. 1002 01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:10,160 It's got these lovely maritime notes. The faded smokiness that you'd expect 1003 01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:12,280 from a whisky of this age. 1004 01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:18,600 Superb. 1005 01:13:19,320 --> 01:13:21,120 Absolutely sublime. 1006 01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,200 Mmm! 1007 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:30,080 Can I have another one, please? 1008 01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,520 Robbie. That's us. 1009 01:16:13,720 --> 01:16:15,920 - Happy days, Albert. - Here, here. 1010 01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:20,840 Right, here, Albert, take that. Grab that through. 1011 01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:25,160 Now listen, Albert. Keep it as low as you possibly can and start sucking. 1012 01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:27,520 - Get the bottles ready. - They're ready. 1013 01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:29,760 Don't spill a drop. 1014 01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:32,960 Right, go. 1015 01:16:35,200 --> 01:16:37,280 Here it comes, boys, here it comes. 1016 01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:41,120 - Look at that, man, that's fucking magic. - That's it, we've got it. 1017 01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:44,400 - And don't spill any of that, remember. - Don't worry. 1018 01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:47,480 Listen, I'll be two minutes. I've gotta check this end, okay? 1019 01:17:07,040 --> 01:17:10,160 Albert? There's nothing spilling, mate. We're all good here. 1020 01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:14,880 - Brilliant. That's us on the fourth bottle. - What, already? Fucking superb. 1021 01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:17,840 Shit! Robbie, there's a motor pulling into the car park. 1022 01:17:18,040 --> 01:17:20,640 Fuck! Give me it in, quick. Give me it in. Shit. 1023 01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:22,760 - Give me this through. Grab the bottles. - Hurry up! 1024 01:17:22,920 --> 01:17:25,040 I've got the bottles. Just go, all right? 1025 01:17:59,640 --> 01:18:02,240 Fuck. Fuck. Shit. 1026 01:18:26,400 --> 01:18:27,840 Here we are. 1027 01:18:31,320 --> 01:18:33,240 I can't believe I left the gauze off. 1028 01:18:35,560 --> 01:18:37,880 That'll be the excitement of the occasion. 1029 01:18:38,320 --> 01:18:39,360 Glass? 1030 01:18:39,440 --> 01:18:41,760 Thank you, Angus. Thank you. 1031 01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:43,280 Right. 1032 01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:45,120 I'll die a happy man. 1033 01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,160 That's plenty. 1034 01:18:59,120 --> 01:19:00,440 Beautiful. 1035 01:19:02,440 --> 01:19:05,040 Breaks my heart to see it go. 1036 01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:08,240 And my little suggestion, Angus, 1037 01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:10,560 who would ever know? 1038 01:19:11,160 --> 01:19:14,000 It's a win-win situation. Nobody loses. 1039 01:19:14,280 --> 01:19:17,000 My client only wants three bottles, 1040 01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:20,720 one to keep, one to swap, one to drink with his friends. 1041 01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,560 But I don't think he'll match the American. 1042 01:19:26,360 --> 01:19:29,200 And what about provenance? I mean, he'll want proof. 1043 01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:32,720 - Not a stickler for detail. - At that price? 1044 01:19:32,960 --> 01:19:34,640 Drop in the ocean. 1045 01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,760 He knows. That's enough. 1046 01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:41,000 Between me and you and these four walls. 1047 01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:44,720 Be quite a nest egg. 1048 01:19:48,320 --> 01:19:49,840 I don't have the nerve. 1049 01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:53,880 Pity. 1050 01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:52,320 £700,000, the bid's at the back 1051 01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:55,640 Are you coming back, sir, at 700,000? 720. 1052 01:20:56,440 --> 01:20:57,800 £720,000. 1053 01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:01,880 New bidder on my right. 740. 740,000. 1054 01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:05,120 It's right at the back of the room now. 1055 01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:07,360 760. 1056 01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:11,720 780. £780,000. 1057 01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:14,160 Near me now at £780,000. 1058 01:21:14,520 --> 01:21:18,560 New bidder right in the centre now at £800,000. The bid's at 800. 1059 01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:21,880 820. £820,000 seated. 1060 01:21:22,240 --> 01:21:24,680 840. £840,000. 1061 01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:28,200 We're coming on the phones now at 840. 860,000. 1062 01:21:28,440 --> 01:21:31,760 With the telephone bid now at 860. Are we done now at 860? 1063 01:21:32,040 --> 01:21:34,160 £880,000. 1064 01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:37,480 On the left now at 880. £900,000. 1065 01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:42,920 920, I'll take. 920 from the gentleman seated on my left. Now at 920. 1066 01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,240 940. 1067 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:47,440 960 in front. £960,000. 1068 01:21:47,720 --> 01:21:51,320 It's in the room against the telephones now. £980,000 bid. 1069 01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:54,040 Are we done in the room now at 980,000? 1070 01:21:54,200 --> 01:21:56,600 You're done, sir, now at £980,000? 1071 01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:59,760 It's right in the centre at 980... 1072 01:22:00,040 --> 01:22:03,080 New bidder at £1 million. 1073 01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:05,160 £1 million. 1074 01:22:05,400 --> 01:22:08,440 New bidder on the left-hand side now at £1 million. 1075 01:22:08,680 --> 01:22:11,920 Is there any further interest now at £1 million? Are you done, sir? 1076 01:22:12,240 --> 01:22:16,480 The bid's on the left at £1 million. Do I hear 1,020,000? 1077 01:22:16,920 --> 01:22:19,840 £1,020,000 to bid. 1078 01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:23,480 1,040,000. £1,040,000. 1079 01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:26,640 It's still on the left at... 1,060,000. 1080 01:22:26,960 --> 01:22:31,120 1,060,000. Still in front of me now at £1,060,000. 1081 01:22:31,400 --> 01:22:35,080 Are you done now, sir, at £1,060,000? 1082 01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:38,640 1,000,000. £1,000,000. 1083 01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,440 The gentleman on my left now at £1,080,000. 1084 01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,920 Do I hear 1.1 million, sir? 1085 01:22:45,080 --> 01:22:48,680 Any advance at one... Are we looking for£1.1 million? 1086 01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:51,440 1.1 million. 1087 01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:54,400 £1.1 million. 1088 01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:57,960 Bid's in the centre now at £1.1 million. 1089 01:22:58,280 --> 01:23:00,360 Any advance now at 1.1 million pounds? 1090 01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:02,840 Are you done, sir, now at 1.1 million... 1091 01:23:03,000 --> 01:23:04,080 And 20. 1092 01:23:04,160 --> 01:23:07,240 It's on the left at 1,120,000... 1093 01:23:08,440 --> 01:23:11,360 £1,150,000. 1094 01:23:11,800 --> 01:23:14,920 £1,150,000. 1095 01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:18,960 It's against you, sir, now at 1,150,000. 1096 01:23:19,200 --> 01:23:23,680 Do I hear another bid, sir? At £1,150,000. 1097 01:23:24,640 --> 01:23:27,200 At 1,150,000... 1098 01:23:27,480 --> 01:23:32,200 The bid's still with you, sir, at £1,150,000. 1099 01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:37,440 Any further interest at £1,150,000? 1100 01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:40,240 It's yours, sir, at 1,150,000... 1101 01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:42,080 Two-oh-nine. 1102 01:23:44,160 --> 01:23:46,360 Thanks very much. Thank you. 1103 01:23:48,640 --> 01:23:51,040 - Many congratulations. Well done. - Thank you very much. 1104 01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:54,040 - Could I ask who was your bidder? - I don't even know his name. 1105 01:23:54,200 --> 01:23:55,760 Nation? 1106 01:23:55,920 --> 01:23:58,080 Moscow, that's all I know. 1107 01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:05,320 Many congratulations, sir. That's an auction record. Congratulations. 1108 01:24:05,560 --> 01:24:07,200 Thank you, thank you. 1109 01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:16,600 - Could you give us your name, please, sir? - They call me Jim Vincent. 1110 01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:19,240 - Where are you from? - Westport, Connecticut. 1111 01:24:19,520 --> 01:24:21,600 - And... And are you gonna have a drink? - I hope so. 1112 01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:22,840 Yes, he is. 1113 01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:40,400 - Try not to spill any of this. - Far too precious. 1114 01:24:56,520 --> 01:24:58,240 How does it compare? 1115 01:25:00,120 --> 01:25:03,440 It's absolutely exquisite. It's really great. 1116 01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:08,400 Thank you, thank you very, very much. Thank you. 1117 01:25:32,920 --> 01:25:34,280 Commiserations. 1118 01:25:35,640 --> 01:25:39,400 My client gets what he wants. Always. He's not best pleased, I can tell you. 1119 01:25:40,160 --> 01:25:42,440 It's actually congratulations 1120 01:25:42,560 --> 01:25:45,320 on not throwing a million pounds down the pan. 1121 01:26:10,480 --> 01:26:11,920 Oh, my God. 1122 01:26:16,520 --> 01:26:17,800 My God! 1123 01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:21,720 I don't believe it. 1124 01:26:22,960 --> 01:26:24,520 How much have you got? 1125 01:26:25,880 --> 01:26:30,360 One to keep, one to swap and one to drink with my mates. 1126 01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:34,720 You didn't do a deal with Dobie? 1127 01:26:35,160 --> 01:26:36,840 Hasn't got the nerve. 1128 01:26:40,640 --> 01:26:43,880 You little bastard. I'll be damned. 1129 01:26:46,560 --> 01:26:49,760 - How much do you want? - 200,000. 1130 01:26:50,520 --> 01:26:52,600 With no provenance? Not a chance. 1131 01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:56,080 "Not a stickler for detail", that's what I heard. 1132 01:26:56,360 --> 01:27:00,240 And that's not all. I want a job. I want a real job. 1133 01:27:01,160 --> 01:27:04,200 - Can you get it to Glasgow? - Not a problem. 1134 01:27:06,040 --> 01:27:08,640 - You've still got my card? - I have. 1135 01:27:10,160 --> 01:27:12,640 Text me your number, I'll be there Wednesday. 1136 01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:17,920 Don't fuck up. 1137 01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:43,080 Shit, it's PC Plod. I fucking know that guy. He hates me. 1138 01:27:43,360 --> 01:27:47,240 - Fuck. Come on, we'll make a run for it. - Nobody move. 1139 01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:50,440 - They're not gonna catch us all. - Nobody move. 1140 01:27:52,320 --> 01:27:54,240 Can I have a quick word, please? 1141 01:27:54,400 --> 01:27:56,120 Good afternoon, Constable. 1142 01:27:56,520 --> 01:28:00,520 Hello, ladies. A little bit of country dancing, eh? 1143 01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:03,280 And what the hell have you been robbing, Miss? 1144 01:28:03,400 --> 01:28:04,440 Nothing, Officer. 1145 01:28:04,520 --> 01:28:07,560 Back up against the wall, please. Put the bags down by your side. 1146 01:28:07,800 --> 01:28:11,640 - Is there any need for this? - Come on, it's not a talking competition. 1147 01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:14,080 You got anything on you I need to know about? 1148 01:28:14,240 --> 01:28:15,680 No, not at all, mate. 1149 01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:18,120 Okay, just turn around. 1150 01:28:19,880 --> 01:28:22,480 Okay, just empty your bag out, please. 1151 01:28:22,720 --> 01:28:25,440 Arms out, sir. Anything on you I should know about? 1152 01:28:27,080 --> 01:28:28,840 Just my sleeping bag. Do you want me to open it? 1153 01:28:32,720 --> 01:28:34,520 You not wash your socks, son? 1154 01:28:34,680 --> 01:28:36,960 There was no washing machine where I was. 1155 01:28:39,440 --> 01:28:41,040 Oh, excuse me. 1156 01:28:43,080 --> 01:28:46,280 Okay, girls, we'll catch you later, so to speak. 1157 01:28:47,920 --> 01:28:49,240 See you. 1158 01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:55,680 Wait. 1159 01:28:55,840 --> 01:28:57,920 You think I forgot, eh? 1160 01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:00,720 Let's have you. 1161 01:29:01,280 --> 01:29:03,560 - Come on. Just come over, guys. - What? 1162 01:29:03,760 --> 01:29:06,640 Over here now. Not you, Miss. 1163 01:29:10,880 --> 01:29:13,360 - Up with the kilts. - Are you having a laugh? 1164 01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:16,640 - You'll never sleep again, Officer. - Shut up. 1165 01:29:16,840 --> 01:29:18,280 Up, I said. 1166 01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:23,680 - Jesus Christ, what happened to you? - It's a long story, pal. 1167 01:29:23,960 --> 01:29:26,880 Go easy. You better get some cream on that, man. 1168 01:29:27,160 --> 01:29:29,840 - Have you got any on you? - Turn round, for goodness sake. 1169 01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:31,960 It's like a fire hydrant. 1170 01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:34,760 You want a wee sample there? 1171 01:29:36,080 --> 01:29:38,240 Should have brought my welding mask. 1172 01:29:38,720 --> 01:29:41,560 - Is that us done? - On you go, and behave yourselves. 1173 01:29:42,600 --> 01:29:45,360 - See you later, eh? - No, hopefully not. 1174 01:29:47,360 --> 01:29:50,600 Albert, calm down. Just ignore them. Calm it. 1175 01:29:50,800 --> 01:29:53,760 Fucking molesting some fucking innocent civilians. 1176 01:29:53,960 --> 01:29:56,680 - It's cos I pissed him off last time. - Fucking shocking. 1177 01:29:56,840 --> 01:29:58,600 Fucking police, man. 1178 01:29:58,960 --> 01:30:01,240 We shall not be moved! 1179 01:30:01,520 --> 01:30:06,640 Billy Connolly. Robert the Bruce. Braveheart, ya bastards! 1180 01:30:07,440 --> 01:30:11,360 Alex Ferguson! We are the fucking champions! 1181 01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:12,680 Cheers! 1182 01:30:18,960 --> 01:30:21,400 You're kidding me on. Give me that. Don't spill any more of that. 1183 01:30:30,120 --> 01:30:31,960 Oh Jesus Christ. 1184 01:30:32,400 --> 01:30:34,000 Jesus Christ. 1185 01:30:36,680 --> 01:30:39,760 Did that really just happen? You are a fucking idiot! 1186 01:30:40,240 --> 01:30:43,280 You see that whisky pouring away? That's your share. Gone! 1187 01:30:43,520 --> 01:30:45,440 Story of my life. 1188 01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:49,440 - Can I just say... - Say fuck all! 1189 01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,800 Youse are getting nothing! Not a penny. 1190 01:30:52,360 --> 01:30:55,920 - Just a little point. - Just a wee fucking point? You're damn right! 1191 01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:57,800 Fuck up, Albert. 1192 01:30:57,960 --> 01:31:00,520 - It's the last thing I'll say to youse. - You're damn right it is. 1193 01:31:00,720 --> 01:31:04,520 See thae big fat balls, I'll nail them to that fucking sporran! 1194 01:31:05,720 --> 01:31:08,800 - Listen. - Albert, I think it's best if you just shut up. 1195 01:31:09,000 --> 01:31:13,840 Listen. If there was only four bottles left in the entire world 1196 01:31:14,440 --> 01:31:18,280 then that makes them very, very precious. Right? 1197 01:31:18,600 --> 01:31:20,680 Right, but you're just a fucking idiot! 1198 01:31:20,920 --> 01:31:24,760 But if there was only two bottles left in the entire world, 1199 01:31:25,080 --> 01:31:28,800 then that makes them even more fucking precious. 1200 01:31:30,680 --> 01:31:33,760 Common sense. Supply and demand. 1201 01:31:35,400 --> 01:31:37,560 Market fucking forces. 1202 01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:43,520 Thaddeus is gonna go mental. 1203 01:31:44,440 --> 01:31:48,320 I don't want youse winding him up, so I think it's best if youse just wait here. 1204 01:31:48,720 --> 01:31:51,240 Wait here? We'll just come in with you, it'll be cool. 1205 01:31:51,440 --> 01:31:54,320 No, no, no. You are staying with me. 1206 01:31:54,520 --> 01:31:57,200 - You're going nowhere. - Aye, just wait here. 1207 01:31:57,480 --> 01:32:01,960 And, Albert, don't fuck it up. Don't attract attention to yourself. 1208 01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:03,840 Right? 1209 01:32:04,160 --> 01:32:05,480 We could have gone in with him. 1210 01:32:05,800 --> 01:32:07,080 Stay here. 1211 01:32:14,000 --> 01:32:15,560 There's nothing to see. 1212 01:32:16,600 --> 01:32:19,680 I can't see nothing here. The tension's killing me. 1213 01:32:19,960 --> 01:32:22,640 - Bend down, let us on your shoulders. - Oh, fuck off. No. 1214 01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:24,480 - Aye, go. He's right. - Come on. 1215 01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:26,720 I cannae stand this tension. 1216 01:32:27,720 --> 01:32:29,440 Oof! Albert! 1217 01:32:36,640 --> 01:32:39,240 - What's happening? - They're just sitting down. 1218 01:32:39,400 --> 01:32:41,040 They're just having a wee chat. 1219 01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,280 Wait for it. Two secs. 1220 01:32:45,360 --> 01:32:46,960 What's going on? 1221 01:32:47,120 --> 01:32:51,040 He doesn't look a happy chappie. Definitely not amused. 1222 01:32:52,040 --> 01:32:54,640 - Who, for fuck's sake? - Thaddeus. 1223 01:32:54,880 --> 01:32:57,200 By the looks of it, he's just about to have a heart attack. 1224 01:32:57,320 --> 01:32:59,840 No wonder. What about Robbie? 1225 01:33:02,880 --> 01:33:05,280 Wait. There's been a development. 1226 01:33:05,440 --> 01:33:08,680 - What the fuck does that mean? - A Checkpoint Charlie moment. 1227 01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:09,920 What? 1228 01:33:11,320 --> 01:33:14,840 An exchange of packages. What else could it mean? 1229 01:33:16,560 --> 01:33:18,640 Here, it's looking good. 1230 01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:21,840 Wait, he's handing him something else and all. 1231 01:33:22,040 --> 01:33:23,960 For God's sake. 1232 01:33:24,240 --> 01:33:26,960 Don't know what it is. I cannae really see. 1233 01:33:27,200 --> 01:33:29,840 - Albert! - Wait there! Hold it the noo. 1234 01:33:31,680 --> 01:33:33,200 Jesus Christ. 1235 01:33:35,680 --> 01:33:39,040 Fuck me, man, chaffed balls part two. 1236 01:33:40,120 --> 01:33:41,160 Fuck! 1237 01:33:50,120 --> 01:33:52,040 I think you were easy on him. 1238 01:33:56,480 --> 01:33:57,520 Well? 1239 01:34:00,080 --> 01:34:01,480 Relax. A hundred grand. 1240 01:34:01,640 --> 01:34:03,760 Twenty-five grand each. We'll divide it up later. 1241 01:34:10,640 --> 01:34:12,800 - You're lucky. - Give us a kiss. 1242 01:34:14,280 --> 01:34:16,480 - This is brilliant. - Was he raging? 1243 01:34:16,960 --> 01:34:19,040 Take it or leave it. A Malt Mill. 1244 01:34:19,480 --> 01:34:23,000 - This is brilliant. What's that? - Have a look. 1245 01:34:31,040 --> 01:34:32,760 So who's the old geezer? 1246 01:34:32,960 --> 01:34:36,280 It's a friend of Thaddeus. He runs a distillery. 1247 01:34:36,480 --> 01:34:39,400 - He's gonna give us a job. Teach us. - Superb. 1248 01:34:39,920 --> 01:34:43,920 You'll probably be up a lonely mountain. Probably turn into a wee sheep-shagger. 1249 01:34:45,560 --> 01:34:49,760 It's not far from Stirling. We'll get a wee house there, in the city. 1250 01:34:49,960 --> 01:34:53,640 I can't believe he paid all that money for just two bottles. 1251 01:34:54,240 --> 01:34:56,920 Two bottles? Try one bottle. 1252 01:34:57,680 --> 01:35:00,080 - What? - What happened to the other one? 1253 01:35:44,360 --> 01:35:47,600 "Thanks for giving me a chance. Robbie." 1254 01:36:27,000 --> 01:36:28,840 You buggers. 1255 01:36:51,360 --> 01:36:52,360 Classic. 1256 01:36:52,480 --> 01:36:54,400 - Do you like it, mate? - It's crackin', man. 1257 01:36:54,640 --> 01:36:56,160 Grab a bag. 1258 01:37:00,400 --> 01:37:01,440 Cheers, Mo. 1259 01:37:03,960 --> 01:37:05,560 What do you think? 1260 01:37:06,080 --> 01:37:07,600 Where did you get it? 1261 01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:11,520 - Goes with the job. - A VW campervan? 1262 01:37:12,280 --> 01:37:15,040 It's because he has to visit all these distilleries, 1263 01:37:15,240 --> 01:37:17,080 and it's cheaper than staying in a hotel. 1264 01:37:17,480 --> 01:37:20,680 - Fucking cutbacks. It's a fucking disgrace. - Aye. 1265 01:37:20,920 --> 01:37:23,520 - Where will I put the baby? - In the back, come on. 1266 01:37:33,160 --> 01:37:34,440 Right, gulls- 1267 01:37:35,560 --> 01:37:38,000 We'll get youse over once we're settled in, eh? 1268 01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:39,760 Give us a cuddle, big man. 1269 01:37:39,880 --> 01:37:42,160 - Thanks, mate, I owe you. - I owe you, mate. 1270 01:37:42,360 --> 01:37:43,400 Alberto. 1271 01:37:43,520 --> 01:37:46,320 - Don't let that fresh air wear you down. - Miss you, mate. 1272 01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:48,920 - You take care, right. - I will, man. 1273 01:37:49,160 --> 01:37:51,560 - Mo, thanks for everything, pal. - Gonna miss you, Robbie. 1274 01:37:51,760 --> 01:37:53,840 I'll check my pockets, you wee cunt. 1275 01:37:54,280 --> 01:37:59,000 Mind, guys. Don't spend it on the slot machines. Do something. 1276 01:37:59,360 --> 01:38:01,520 - Be good, mate, eh? - Take care. 1277 01:38:09,320 --> 01:38:10,880 Won't forget youse. 1278 01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:28,520 He's turned out all right, eh? 1279 01:38:29,240 --> 01:38:32,280 - A wean, a bird, a motor. - And a job. 1280 01:38:32,840 --> 01:38:35,440 - He's done well. - He has. 1281 01:38:36,200 --> 01:38:37,760 So what now? 1282 01:38:39,200 --> 01:38:40,800 Lots of dosh. 1283 01:38:41,200 --> 01:38:43,320 Fuck it. Let's get wasted. 1284 01:38:43,440 --> 01:38:45,120 - Hey! All right, good call, mate. - Sounds good. 1285 01:38:53,440 --> 01:38:56,080 You're a scamp, Robbie Emmerson. 1286 01:38:56,200 --> 01:38:58,160 From the first day I saw you. 1287 01:39:04,000 --> 01:39:10,240 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more 1288 01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:14,880 ♪ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles 1289 01:39:15,160 --> 01:39:18,080 ♪ To fall down at your door 1290 01:39:32,920 --> 01:39:39,080 ♪ And I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more 1291 01:39:39,440 --> 01:39:44,080 ♪ Just to be the man who'd walk a thousand miles 1292 01:39:44,400 --> 01:39:48,520 ♪ To fall down at your door♪105344

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