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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,800 English Subtitles. Two and a Half Men S03E08 - That Voodoo That I Do Do - Web-DL [KoTuWa] 2 00:00:02,376 --> 00:00:04,128 Thank you. 3 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:09,008 Oh, I knew it. There's no extra foam in my latte. 4 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,343 You ask for extra foam... 5 00:00:10,509 --> 00:00:13,846 ...you might as well be asking for a piggyback ride, know what I mean? 6 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,556 Charlie? 7 00:00:15,723 --> 00:00:17,266 Charlie? 8 00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:19,769 Oh, of course. 9 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,688 Man's got a heat-seeking missile in his pants. 10 00:00:24,148 --> 00:00:26,776 Is it too much to ask that when we go out for coffee... 11 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:31,155 ...you stay within earshot, so I'm not talking to myself like a crazy person? 12 00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:34,784 And again, I'm talking to myself like a crazy person. 13 00:00:35,117 --> 00:00:36,369 Look. 14 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,081 Yes, I see. 15 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,750 Girl pretty. Charlie like. 16 00:00:43,417 --> 00:00:45,461 No, girl magnificent. 17 00:00:46,128 --> 00:00:47,546 Charlie buy her Lexus. 18 00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:52,051 I thought we were gonna hang out together... 19 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,262 ...but obviously your neurotic need for sex is more important... 20 00:00:55,429 --> 00:00:57,640 ...than spending time with your only brother... 21 00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:01,143 ...who despite everything continues to love you and is, by the way... 22 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,688 ...your best hope for a viable kidney transplant. 23 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:09,026 You can get yourself home, right? 24 00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:14,031 What makes you think that she's even available? 25 00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:17,493 Maybe she's married, maybe she's gay, maybe she's a guy. 26 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:22,164 Hey, I don't see a ring, a girlfriend or a bulge. 27 00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:26,210 If you'll excuse me, it's time to do that voodoo that I do do so well. 28 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,464 Hi. 29 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,927 - I'm Charlie. - Don't care. 30 00:01:35,511 --> 00:01:38,347 - And you are? - Not interested. 31 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,641 How do you know? 32 00:01:42,184 --> 00:01:43,686 I know. 33 00:01:45,896 --> 00:01:47,606 Okay then. 34 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,572 You think it's over? Because it's not over. 35 00:01:55,072 --> 00:01:56,115 Oh, I'm sorry. 36 00:01:56,282 --> 00:02:00,035 I guess I was mislead by her complete and utter indifference to you. 37 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,538 Yeah, well, watch and learn. 38 00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:06,041 - So... - Go away. 39 00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,755 How about now? Is it over now? 40 00:02:12,047 --> 00:02:13,841 It's not an exact science, Alan. 41 00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:20,389 Look, if you knew me at all and shut me down, that would be one thing... 42 00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:25,436 ...but to be dismissed on a simple hello, well, that's a tough pill to swallow. 43 00:02:25,853 --> 00:02:28,731 Would you rather I give it to you in a suppository? 44 00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:32,860 - Well, to be perfectly honest... - Goodbye. 45 00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:38,032 - Hey, hey, did you hear that? - What? 46 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,867 It's a... It's a fat lady... 47 00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,994 ...and she's singing. 48 00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:48,167 - You'd give up right now, wouldn't you? - Charlie, Elvis has left the building. 49 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:51,378 I think giving up is a little moot at this point. 50 00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,714 Well, that attitude is why you sleep alone... 51 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:57,468 ...with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow. 52 00:02:59,303 --> 00:03:01,764 Stay out of my room. 53 00:03:29,608 --> 00:03:32,903 Waverly Dance Studio, 3737 Waverly Street. 54 00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:34,112 Got it. 55 00:03:34,279 --> 00:03:38,241 Westwood Academy of Dance, 14001 Pico Boulevard. 56 00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:40,077 What's going on? 57 00:03:40,243 --> 00:03:42,120 I'm mapping out all the dance studios... 58 00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:44,414 - ...within a five-mile radius. - Why? 59 00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:47,918 I can't stop thinking about that girl I met. I have to find her. 60 00:03:48,418 --> 00:03:51,505 Shame you can't let your penis sniff a piece of her clothing. 61 00:03:51,672 --> 00:03:55,300 Look, I know her name, Mia. It was written on her coffee cup. 62 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:56,510 I know she's a dancer. 63 00:03:56,677 --> 00:03:59,805 She was wearing leg-warmer-thingies and reading a dance magazine. 64 00:03:59,971 --> 00:04:02,599 Reading a dance magazine doesn't make you a dancer. 65 00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:04,601 Why not? You're a monster boob. 66 00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:09,439 Will you both stay out of my room. 67 00:04:11,191 --> 00:04:13,944 Tell me, why do you want to go to all this trouble... 68 00:04:14,111 --> 00:04:17,155 ...to track down a girl who showed less than no interest in you? 69 00:04:17,656 --> 00:04:20,659 A girl who seemed actually repulsed by your very being. 70 00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:24,746 A girl whose skin visibly crawled at your mere proximity. 71 00:04:24,955 --> 00:04:27,040 Yeah, but did you see her butt? 72 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,794 It was like a ripe little peach. 73 00:04:31,753 --> 00:04:34,673 That's your answer? Her ass reminded you of fruit? 74 00:04:35,465 --> 00:04:37,134 Berta, explain it to him. 75 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:40,387 A lot of the times a peach will have a subtle cleft in it... 76 00:04:40,554 --> 00:04:43,181 - ...that is reminiscent of a woman's... - No. Thanks. 77 00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:45,308 Thanks, I got the picture. 78 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:49,146 Alan, do you know why Sir Edmund Hillary wanted to scale Mount Everest? 79 00:04:50,147 --> 00:04:53,108 Because it reminded him of a big pointy melon? 80 00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:56,736 That's part of the reason, but the main reason was... 81 00:04:56,903 --> 00:05:00,031 ...he wanted to do it because everyone thought it was impossible. 82 00:05:00,574 --> 00:05:02,200 I'm missing the connection here. 83 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:04,369 If a girl like Mia were easy to climb... 84 00:05:04,578 --> 00:05:06,746 ...her head would be covered with flags. 85 00:05:07,372 --> 00:05:09,499 - So you're looking for a challenge. - Exactly. 86 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:12,502 No one takes a picture of the fish that jumps on your boat. 87 00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:15,881 I... I'm confused. Is she a mountain or a fish? 88 00:05:16,047 --> 00:05:18,508 Doesn't matter, either way I'm gonna scale her. 89 00:05:22,053 --> 00:05:24,097 And you, why do you enable this behavior? 90 00:05:24,639 --> 00:05:27,350 Why? I'll tell you why. 91 00:05:27,559 --> 00:05:31,229 Because your brother is the embodiment of the roll-up-your-sleeves spirit... 92 00:05:31,396 --> 00:05:32,939 ...that made this country great. 93 00:05:33,106 --> 00:05:35,859 He never gets discouraged, he goes after what he wants... 94 00:05:36,026 --> 00:05:38,028 ...and he doesn't know the meaning of quit. 95 00:05:38,195 --> 00:05:41,448 If the day should come when any man, no matter how humble... 96 00:05:41,615 --> 00:05:44,951 ...can't go out there and soil the loins of some hot little dancer... 97 00:05:45,118 --> 00:05:48,121 ...well, I don't wanna live in that America. 98 00:06:01,217 --> 00:06:03,762 Okay, very good. Now reverse. 99 00:06:08,642 --> 00:06:10,268 Oh, leave me alone. 100 00:06:10,477 --> 00:06:11,603 Keep going. 101 00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,146 Hey, you're a teacher. 102 00:06:13,355 --> 00:06:15,065 Hey, you're a stalker. 103 00:06:15,273 --> 00:06:18,360 No, no. I was passing by and happened to look in the window. 104 00:06:18,526 --> 00:06:19,653 What's the map for? 105 00:06:20,195 --> 00:06:22,697 Oh, this? I had to go to eight other dance studios... 106 00:06:22,864 --> 00:06:24,908 ...before I found the right window. 107 00:06:26,368 --> 00:06:28,870 I suppose that could be interpreted as stalking... 108 00:06:29,037 --> 00:06:32,791 ...but it could be just as easily be seen as sincerity, persistence... 109 00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:34,709 Mental illness? 110 00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:37,629 Come on, I'm clearly smitten. Throw me a bone. 111 00:06:37,837 --> 00:06:40,131 - Charlie... - You remembered my name. 112 00:06:40,340 --> 00:06:43,510 I wrote it down in case I needed to call the cops. 113 00:06:43,718 --> 00:06:47,722 I don't have time for dating right now. I'm completely focused on my work. 114 00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:51,142 Well, let's talk about work. I've always wanted to learn to dance... 115 00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:54,104 - ...can you teach me? - I only teach children. 116 00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:57,649 You don't have a class full of large, slow kids I could be part of? 117 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:03,196 All right, how about this. 118 00:07:03,363 --> 00:07:04,656 My nephew loves to dance. 119 00:07:04,823 --> 00:07:08,201 A gifted little boy. Moves like a gazelle. 120 00:07:08,743 --> 00:07:11,413 - How old is he? - I don't know, 11, 12. 121 00:07:11,579 --> 00:07:13,832 It's hard to say, he's got a big head. 122 00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,626 Frankly I'd love to have a boy in the class. 123 00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:18,878 It's hard to get males excited about ballet. 124 00:07:19,087 --> 00:07:23,466 Jake is just ballet this and ballet that. 125 00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:25,927 Yeah, I'm sure. 126 00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:28,596 Why don't you bring him by tomorrow? 127 00:07:29,139 --> 00:07:32,392 - Great. Maybe afterwards you and l... - Charlie, listen carefully. 128 00:07:32,559 --> 00:07:35,478 You and I, never gonna happen. 129 00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:38,064 Understood. See you tomorrow. 130 00:07:42,152 --> 00:07:45,071 Charlie to base camp, I am beginning my ascent. 131 00:07:50,618 --> 00:07:54,205 How you liking the pizza your old Uncle Charlie bought for his buddy? 132 00:07:54,372 --> 00:07:55,415 It's good. 133 00:07:55,623 --> 00:07:58,793 Save room, I've got a half-gallon of that fudge brownie ice cream. 134 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,712 I don't know, I'm pretty stuffed. 135 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,424 - You sure? - Maybe after I poop. 136 00:08:05,675 --> 00:08:06,718 What are you doing? 137 00:08:07,343 --> 00:08:09,929 - We're eating dinner. - He had dinner an hour ago. 138 00:08:10,138 --> 00:08:13,433 - Well, then he won't need breakfast. - Yes, I will. 139 00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:17,103 You've had enough to eat. 140 00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:20,190 Hey, Jake, you know what I like to do after a nice big meal? 141 00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:22,192 - What? - Learn to dance. 142 00:08:25,987 --> 00:08:27,030 - Charlie. - Yeah? 143 00:08:27,197 --> 00:08:28,907 Private word. 144 00:08:29,282 --> 00:08:30,825 Sure. 145 00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:36,039 - What's up? - Shame on you. 146 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:37,874 Is that it? 147 00:08:38,416 --> 00:08:39,459 You found that girl... 148 00:08:39,626 --> 00:08:42,253 ...and now you have a plan to use my son as bait. 149 00:08:42,462 --> 00:08:46,090 Yeah, so? It's not like he pays rent. Why shouldn't he pitch in a little? 150 00:08:46,883 --> 00:08:47,926 I will not allow it. 151 00:08:48,426 --> 00:08:50,678 Come on, it's just a couple of ballet lessons. 152 00:08:50,887 --> 00:08:52,805 Ballet? Him? 153 00:08:53,348 --> 00:08:56,059 I think he has a quiet grace about him. 154 00:08:57,977 --> 00:09:00,480 He doesn't have to be good, he just has to show up. 155 00:09:00,647 --> 00:09:02,065 One lesson, I'm begging you. 156 00:09:02,232 --> 00:09:04,651 You know what, it really doesn't matter what I say. 157 00:09:04,817 --> 00:09:06,903 You will never convince him to take ballet. 158 00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,988 If I can, will you stay out of it? 159 00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:10,782 - I guess. - Great. 160 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:12,533 Hey, Jake. 161 00:09:13,743 --> 00:09:16,621 Okay, that might have been bad parenting on my part. 162 00:09:17,205 --> 00:09:18,581 I've got a surprise for you. 163 00:09:19,415 --> 00:09:20,708 It's not more food, is it? 164 00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:23,378 Because I'm starting to feel a little dizzy. 165 00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:27,131 You're gonna get to do something that no other boy in your class has done. 166 00:09:27,298 --> 00:09:31,094 If it's sex, Mitchell Fineman already saw his cousin naked. 167 00:09:31,302 --> 00:09:33,388 - No, this is better than sex. - What? 168 00:09:33,972 --> 00:09:35,765 How would he know? 169 00:09:36,516 --> 00:09:39,978 - You're gonna learn to dance ballet. - Wanna bet? 170 00:09:42,939 --> 00:09:44,941 Okay, let me put it this way. 171 00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:49,070 How much money would I have to give you to take ballet lessons? 172 00:09:49,404 --> 00:09:52,365 - I want $10. - Wait, hold on. 173 00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:00,039 I want $1000. 174 00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:05,253 That's really unethical. 175 00:10:05,461 --> 00:10:08,297 Oh, yeah, I'm the one on shaky moral ground. 176 00:10:10,007 --> 00:10:13,302 - Okay, I'll give you $500. - Split the difference. 177 00:10:13,511 --> 00:10:15,221 - Two-fifty. - Done. 178 00:10:26,274 --> 00:10:27,775 Come on, let's go. 179 00:10:27,942 --> 00:10:29,444 I changed my mind. 180 00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:31,738 You took my money. 181 00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:34,115 I'll give it back. 182 00:10:34,282 --> 00:10:36,576 Jake, we're here. You may as well give it a try. 183 00:10:36,743 --> 00:10:40,413 Yeah, give it a try. Who knows, you might like it. 184 00:10:47,712 --> 00:10:50,256 I will never forgive you for this. 185 00:10:59,056 --> 00:11:01,392 You didn't tell me I'd be the only boy here. 186 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,894 So? The odds are on your side. 187 00:11:04,436 --> 00:11:07,106 The odds for what? I'm 11. 188 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,693 - I wanna go home. - I thought we had a deal. 189 00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:13,070 You can't make him stay if he doesn't want to. 190 00:11:13,278 --> 00:11:15,447 I love you, Dad. 191 00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:18,826 All right, let's get started. 192 00:11:19,743 --> 00:11:22,037 - Who's that? - Your teacher. 193 00:11:22,579 --> 00:11:24,331 - Come on, let's go. - Hang on, Dad. 194 00:11:24,498 --> 00:11:26,458 Maybe we should give this a chance. 195 00:11:28,002 --> 00:11:29,128 Hi, I'm Jake. 196 00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:33,465 - Hi, Jake. It's nice to meet you. - Yeah. 197 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:38,137 - Your uncle tells me you like ballet. - Yeah. 198 00:11:39,096 --> 00:11:41,223 Okay. How about you line up with the girls... 199 00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:43,767 - ...and we'll get started. - Yeah. 200 00:11:44,351 --> 00:11:45,811 How about that? 201 00:11:45,978 --> 00:11:47,938 He's got a crush. 202 00:11:48,105 --> 00:11:50,274 It's like watching a dog chase a car. 203 00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:54,278 He'll never catch it, and even if he did, he couldn't drive it. 204 00:11:55,571 --> 00:11:58,157 He's still doing better than you. 205 00:11:59,783 --> 00:12:02,369 Everyone, I'd like you to meet our new student Jake. 206 00:12:02,536 --> 00:12:06,081 - Hi, Jake. - Yeah, hi. 207 00:12:07,332 --> 00:12:11,003 Okay, let's start in first position. Jake, do you know first position? 208 00:12:11,545 --> 00:12:13,964 Is that like the missionary position? 209 00:12:18,552 --> 00:12:21,221 And one, and two... 210 00:12:21,388 --> 00:12:24,933 ...and three, and four. 211 00:12:28,562 --> 00:12:31,023 I will never forgive you for this. 212 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:33,650 What? He's having a great time. 213 00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:36,153 The clueless knucklehead. 214 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:38,947 Okay, very nice, class. 215 00:12:39,156 --> 00:12:41,325 Yeah, good hustle, everybody. 216 00:12:42,117 --> 00:12:43,202 Much better, Jake. 217 00:12:43,744 --> 00:12:46,914 - That's because I have a good teacher. - Thank you. 218 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,749 All right, that's it for this week. 219 00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:51,168 Remember, life is a dance, live it gracefully. 220 00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:52,753 That's my motto. 221 00:12:58,425 --> 00:12:59,718 Well, that settles it. 222 00:12:59,885 --> 00:13:02,012 I wanna be a ballet dancer when I grow up. 223 00:13:02,554 --> 00:13:05,224 Really? There's a load off my mind. 224 00:13:05,432 --> 00:13:07,935 It's not as easy as it looks. It's pretty hard. 225 00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:10,270 Yeah. It's pretty hard to watch. 226 00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:12,856 Thanks. 227 00:13:13,649 --> 00:13:16,777 Did you see how far Mia could put her leg over her head? 228 00:13:16,944 --> 00:13:19,321 I did notice that, yes. 229 00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:23,534 So, what do you think, Fred Astaire or Fred Flintstone? 230 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,620 - He's got a lot of enthusiasm. - He gets that from me. 231 00:13:26,828 --> 00:13:28,205 I thought you were his uncle. 232 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:31,041 That's the whole nature and nurture debate, isn't it? 233 00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:33,585 - So listen, Mia... - I'm not going out with you. 234 00:13:34,127 --> 00:13:35,921 I know, you made it very clear. 235 00:13:36,088 --> 00:13:39,216 My question was is there anything more we can do to help Jake? 236 00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:41,385 Extra classes? Private tutoring? 237 00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:44,012 The three of us in Cabo for a long weekend? 238 00:13:45,305 --> 00:13:49,059 If he comes to class regularly, I think you'll be amazed at his progress. 239 00:13:49,268 --> 00:13:51,645 Good, I'd hate to think he's peaked. 240 00:13:51,853 --> 00:13:53,605 We're having a recital next month... 241 00:13:53,772 --> 00:13:56,858 ...and with a lot of work and a little luck, we can include him. 242 00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:01,071 Charlie to base camp... 243 00:14:01,238 --> 00:14:04,032 ...pretty cold up here, visibility zero. 244 00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:07,364 Call me. 245 00:16:09,199 --> 00:16:10,534 Okay. 246 00:16:21,795 --> 00:16:23,046 I hope you like this. 247 00:16:23,213 --> 00:16:26,341 It's an impertinent little Cabernet with oaky overtones... 248 00:16:26,508 --> 00:16:28,843 ...and just the hint of a floral finish. 249 00:16:29,386 --> 00:16:33,306 - Wow, you really know your wines. - I just read it off the box. 250 00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:37,269 What's the plan? Get me drunk and take advantage of me? 251 00:16:37,477 --> 00:16:39,437 Oh, good, you've done this before. 252 00:16:44,651 --> 00:16:46,319 I had a very nice time tonight. 253 00:16:46,903 --> 00:16:49,406 Was it worth all the trouble I put you through? 254 00:16:50,073 --> 00:16:51,283 You tell me. 255 00:16:51,825 --> 00:16:53,618 Ask me again in the morning. 256 00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:57,038 Charlie to base camp. 257 00:16:57,205 --> 00:16:59,165 I can see the summit. 258 00:17:03,295 --> 00:17:06,172 - Hey. - Hey, Jake. 259 00:17:06,423 --> 00:17:09,217 - What are you doing up? - Why shouldn't I be up? 260 00:17:09,759 --> 00:17:11,303 Isn't it past your bedtime? 261 00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:13,722 I don't know what you're talking about. 262 00:17:13,888 --> 00:17:17,434 - I don't have a bedtime. - Okay. 263 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,311 - So, what's going on? - Not too much. 264 00:17:20,103 --> 00:17:21,146 Where's your dad? 265 00:17:21,688 --> 00:17:24,441 I don't know, why don't you go look for him? 266 00:17:26,318 --> 00:17:28,653 Look, Jake, Mia and I are kind of busy right now. 267 00:17:29,321 --> 00:17:31,239 - Busy doing what? - Talking. 268 00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:35,035 Okay. What are we talking about? 269 00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:38,163 We are not talking about anything. You're going to bed. 270 00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,373 Why don't we let Mia decide? 271 00:17:41,082 --> 00:17:43,126 Jake, I think you should go to bed. 272 00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:46,296 Are you sure? You don't have to decide right now. 273 00:17:47,088 --> 00:17:50,425 Your uncle and I would like to spend some alone-time together. 274 00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:53,928 All right. 275 00:17:55,138 --> 00:17:56,765 You want me to tuck you in? 276 00:17:57,307 --> 00:18:01,102 I'm too old to get tucked in, you... You ass-face. 277 00:18:02,687 --> 00:18:06,316 Okay, then, sleep tight, little camper. 278 00:18:09,694 --> 00:18:11,029 Kids, huh? 279 00:18:11,196 --> 00:18:13,323 Yeah, kids. 280 00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:16,910 He never called me an ass-face before. 281 00:18:17,452 --> 00:18:20,789 - I think he's a little jealous. - Yeah. 282 00:18:21,706 --> 00:18:23,208 I remember feeling like that... 283 00:18:23,374 --> 00:18:24,876 - ...when I was his age. - Really? 284 00:18:26,252 --> 00:18:27,462 Cafeteria lady. 285 00:18:28,797 --> 00:18:30,673 Looked like Valerie Bertinelli... 286 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:35,178 ...but, you know, with a hairnet and just the cutest whisper of a mustache. 287 00:18:36,763 --> 00:18:38,556 She didn't know I was alive. 288 00:18:38,723 --> 00:18:40,058 You poor thing. 289 00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:44,270 I'm sorry, Mia. I can't... I can't do this to him. 290 00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:46,147 Do what to him? 291 00:18:46,689 --> 00:18:49,317 One afternoon I saw the cafeteria lady holding hands... 292 00:18:49,484 --> 00:18:51,653 ...with the shop teacher in the parking lot... 293 00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:53,655 ...and it just killed me. 294 00:18:53,822 --> 00:18:57,033 Mr. Dinapoli. I'll never forget it. 295 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,161 She was holding the hand with the missing thumb. 296 00:19:03,164 --> 00:19:05,959 You know what, I've gotta take you home. 297 00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:07,752 - I understand. - You do? 298 00:19:07,961 --> 00:19:09,379 You love Jake. 299 00:19:09,546 --> 00:19:12,882 You'd rather give up spending the night with me than risk hurting him. 300 00:19:13,091 --> 00:19:14,551 Right. 301 00:19:14,926 --> 00:19:18,471 Although when you spell it out like that, it sounds incredibly stupid. 302 00:19:19,556 --> 00:19:21,099 You're a very sweet man. 303 00:19:21,307 --> 00:19:22,433 Thank you. 304 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,694 I was kidding. Let's go upstairs. 305 00:19:33,403 --> 00:19:35,697 Charlie, take me home. 306 00:19:36,239 --> 00:19:39,117 Let's talk about this. He's 11, he'll get over it. 307 00:19:39,284 --> 00:19:41,995 I got over one-thumb Dinapoli. 308 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,962 You asleep? 309 00:19:55,174 --> 00:19:58,761 - You can quit faking, I took her home. - Really? 310 00:20:00,137 --> 00:20:01,931 - Yeah. - How come? 311 00:20:02,473 --> 00:20:04,391 It's part of the guy code. 312 00:20:04,558 --> 00:20:08,229 When two friends like the same girl, one of them has to step aside. 313 00:20:09,522 --> 00:20:13,234 Unless she's a good sport, then it's like Saturday morning at the bakery. 314 00:20:14,568 --> 00:20:16,320 It's a complicated code. 315 00:20:17,571 --> 00:20:18,697 Don't worry about it. 316 00:20:18,864 --> 00:20:21,033 Bottom line is, I'm out of the Mia business. 317 00:20:21,242 --> 00:20:22,326 Cool. 318 00:20:22,910 --> 00:20:24,745 Now, go to sleep. 319 00:20:26,372 --> 00:20:28,332 - Uncle Charlie? - Yeah? 320 00:20:28,874 --> 00:20:31,377 I'm sorry I called you an ass-face. 321 00:20:33,170 --> 00:20:34,672 Oh, yeah. 322 00:20:35,256 --> 00:20:36,298 I forgot about that. 323 00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:18,591 No woman is worth this. 324 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,679 I am so proud. 325 00:21:23,846 --> 00:21:26,223 Our little boy is growing up. 326 00:21:50,372 --> 00:21:52,458 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 327 00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:54,710 [ENGLISH] 25337

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