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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:29,241 --> 00:00:31,134 Hey, good morning, Lynette. 2 00:00:31,192 --> 00:00:33,258 How's the cult going? Has it turned yet, 3 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,483 or are you guys still in the peace and love phase? 4 00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:36,807 - Nice one, Jack. - Thank you. 5 00:00:36,832 --> 00:00:38,926 But just so you know, you are the one that's blowing it. 6 00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:41,351 - How so? - Spirit week. 7 00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:43,894 - It's 70's day. We play Prairie tomorrow. - _ 8 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,817 Okay, so you're doing a whole new look just because 9 00:00:45,841 --> 00:00:48,240 of a stupid school rivalry. Why? 10 00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,500 Basic idea is that it's fun. 11 00:00:50,525 --> 00:00:52,872 Also, to be honest, I really hope we beat them by a lot, 12 00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:55,142 and hope their bus crashes into the swamp. 13 00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,777 Gosh, it must be exhausting pretending to care about stuff. 14 00:00:57,802 --> 00:00:59,493 Nope. Not exhausting at all. 15 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,964 Suck it Prairie! 16 00:01:00,989 --> 00:01:02,949 Oh, suck it Prairie! 17 00:01:02,974 --> 00:01:04,500 - Yeah! - Oh, this guy. 18 00:01:04,525 --> 00:01:07,727 Jack, happy Spirit Week. My favorite week of the year... 19 00:01:07,752 --> 00:01:09,282 oh, well, it would be 20 00:01:09,307 --> 00:01:11,610 if we can just beat the Prairie Rams once 21 00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:13,401 - during my regime. - Wait, wait, wait. 22 00:01:13,426 --> 00:01:14,641 - They're the Rams too? - Yeah. 23 00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:16,171 That's why it's called the Ram Cup, 24 00:01:16,196 --> 00:01:17,629 as I was telling you last night. 25 00:01:17,935 --> 00:01:19,201 Right, right. Speaking of, 26 00:01:19,226 --> 00:01:20,890 thanks for helping move my old fridge out. 27 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,281 I really appreciate that. Yeah. 28 00:01:22,306 --> 00:01:24,539 And your delts are thanking you as well. 29 00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:27,216 - Really? - Yeah. Yeah. 30 00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:28,708 Uh-oh. 31 00:01:28,733 --> 00:01:31,267 Well, you know, anytime you need an old appliance 32 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,911 moved to the curb, you let me know, 33 00:01:32,936 --> 00:01:36,471 or we could go to the gym and you know, 34 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:37,696 lift weights for real. 35 00:01:37,721 --> 00:01:38,950 That could be cool, 36 00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:42,638 - assuming no one there is mean. - Right, right. 37 00:01:42,663 --> 00:01:43,935 Hey, since you offered, 38 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,458 I do need some help moving in my new fridge. 39 00:01:46,483 --> 00:01:48,416 All I require is my usual payment 40 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,882 of 2.5 beers and a full sesh of B.S.. 41 00:01:50,907 --> 00:01:52,547 You got it, pal. Thank you. 42 00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:55,157 Oh, and don't forget about my birthday dinner tonight, 43 00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,538 7:00 p.m. sharp at Mancy's. 44 00:01:57,563 --> 00:01:59,782 Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah, tonight. 45 00:01:59,807 --> 00:02:01,345 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. 46 00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,056 Hi, birthday boy. 47 00:02:08,081 --> 00:02:09,778 Don't make a big deal out of it, okay? 48 00:02:10,453 --> 00:02:11,930 I wouldn't go in there 49 00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:13,622 if I were you. 50 00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:15,380 Oh, my God. 51 00:02:15,405 --> 00:02:17,706 Okay. Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:21,014 Guys, you did not have to do this. I am very... 53 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,518 Blessed. 54 00:02:24,173 --> 00:02:26,862 Oh God, no, please, Helen. 55 00:02:26,887 --> 00:02:29,099 You were supposed to keep people out. 56 00:02:29,124 --> 00:02:30,722 Oh God, don't look at me. 57 00:02:30,747 --> 00:02:33,318 Don't look at my body! 58 00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:36,431 He came in fifth in the snow crab eating contest. 59 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:38,632 Turns out all the snow crabs were rotten. 60 00:02:38,634 --> 00:02:40,719 Helen, why did you tell me not to come in here 61 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,409 in such a sing-song-y voice? 62 00:02:42,434 --> 00:02:43,768 I don't know, maybe it's 'cause 63 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:45,851 you're my favorite person in the whole wide world. 64 00:02:46,795 --> 00:02:49,185 I wouldn't look in that garbage can 65 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,178 behind you if I were you. 66 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,313 Fine. 67 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,670 Someone's a little dense. 68 00:02:59,427 --> 00:03:00,990 - Ugh! - Oh! 69 00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:08,578 ♪ A.P. Bio 2x12 ♪ Ride the Ram 70 00:03:08,603 --> 00:03:13,603 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 71 00:03:22,611 --> 00:03:26,245 Shh. 72 00:03:31,909 --> 00:03:32,975 Huh. 73 00:03:33,128 --> 00:03:34,995 Today, guys, I need excuses I can use 74 00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,289 to ditch a birthday party. 75 00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:38,458 Just tell your mom there will be drugs at the party. 76 00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,082 Then your mom will call their mom 77 00:03:40,107 --> 00:03:42,475 - and it'll get canceled. - That was you? 78 00:03:42,911 --> 00:03:44,678 You could say you are memorizing 79 00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:46,759 portions of the Torah for a bar mitzvah. 80 00:03:46,784 --> 00:03:48,018 Mm, mm-hmm. 81 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,580 Again, guys, this would be me saying this, 82 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,892 an adult Gentile. 83 00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:54,359 So, I actually use this one all the time. 84 00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:56,121 So you pour a glass of water on your shoes 85 00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:58,081 and then you tell people that your sister's water broke 86 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,205 right before you got there, 87 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:00,714 and they'll be like, "Well, why don't you 88 00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:02,581 go be there with her at the hospital?" 89 00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:03,840 And then you jet, baby. 90 00:04:05,219 --> 00:04:08,020 Hmm, interesting. Uh, anyone else? 91 00:04:08,045 --> 00:04:09,611 Mr. G, whose party is it? 92 00:04:09,636 --> 00:04:11,595 So, Durbin helped move my fridge the other day, 93 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:12,653 and he's leveraging that 94 00:04:12,678 --> 00:04:14,779 into a forced appearance at his birthday thing. 95 00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:16,299 He helped you move your fridge? 96 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:17,590 - Mm-hmm. - And furthermore, 97 00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:19,049 he's inviting you to a party? 98 00:04:19,074 --> 00:04:20,541 That's two good things: 99 00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:22,672 moving the fridge as one 100 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,830 and an invitation to a party as two. 101 00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:26,526 Two good things. 102 00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,618 You have to go if he helped you move your fridge. 103 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,111 Yeah, okay. All right, I get it, I get it. 104 00:04:30,135 --> 00:04:31,201 Thank you. 105 00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:32,863 All right, well, I guess I gotta 106 00:04:32,888 --> 00:04:34,388 at least make an appearance, you know? 107 00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:35,799 Especially since I need his help moving 108 00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:37,456 my new fridge in tomorrow. 109 00:04:38,122 --> 00:04:40,236 Ah, let's see. Sarika, make a list 110 00:04:40,261 --> 00:04:42,594 of reasons to leave Durbin's stupid party early. 111 00:04:42,619 --> 00:04:44,852 All right, everybody call out those reasons again. 112 00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:46,578 Uh, there's the drug one, 113 00:04:46,946 --> 00:04:48,746 the Jewish one... 114 00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,095 Just sit regular and it'll be fine. 115 00:04:50,097 --> 00:04:51,162 And... 116 00:04:51,187 --> 00:04:53,442 Well, we did our part to win the Spirit Week blood drive. 117 00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,911 You know, if we won, it'd make Durbin so happy. 118 00:04:55,936 --> 00:04:57,936 Plus, we got these free cookies. 119 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,524 It's so much fun to spoil Durbs once a year. 120 00:05:01,549 --> 00:05:03,627 I spent the last three months working on a banner 121 00:05:03,652 --> 00:05:05,819 for the basketball game. I hope he likes it. 122 00:05:05,844 --> 00:05:07,043 - Oh! - Nice. Unrelated: 123 00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:09,959 I found us three Barbara Streisand tickets. 124 00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:11,258 - Oh! - Eh, eh. 125 00:05:11,283 --> 00:05:14,119 I won't seat above mezzanine. I plan on dancing big 126 00:05:14,144 --> 00:05:15,479 and I don't need some Mom telling me 127 00:05:15,503 --> 00:05:17,690 that I'm blocking the view for her sick son. 128 00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:19,648 Em, I think that was a one-time thing. 129 00:05:19,673 --> 00:05:22,367 - Yeah? - Oh, shoot, my phone is dying. 130 00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:23,992 - Oh, plug it in! - It's okay. 131 00:05:24,017 --> 00:05:26,141 - Go. - We have got to see this. 132 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:27,440 - Mm-hmm. - I can't believe the Mom 133 00:05:27,464 --> 00:05:29,865 from "Meet the Fockers" is gonna try and sing. 134 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,572 Sorry, classroom TV. 135 00:05:33,473 --> 00:05:34,506 What up? 136 00:05:37,832 --> 00:05:40,099 Hi, I'm looking for the Durbin party. 137 00:05:40,124 --> 00:05:42,168 - Mr. Griffin? - Yeah. 138 00:05:42,392 --> 00:05:43,948 So nice of you to show up. 139 00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:47,087 That sweet man has been waiting for over an hour. 140 00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:48,145 Oh, no. 141 00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,485 Please tell me I'm not this late 142 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,176 for a one-on-one birthday dinner. 143 00:05:51,324 --> 00:05:52,399 Yep. 144 00:05:53,427 --> 00:05:54,692 Agh. 145 00:05:57,995 --> 00:05:59,876 - Hi. - Jack, you're here. 146 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,689 Yeah, um, I made it. 147 00:06:01,714 --> 00:06:03,376 Thank you. Yeah, I'm so sorry I'm late. 148 00:06:03,401 --> 00:06:05,507 I, ah, I was um... 149 00:06:06,691 --> 00:06:08,190 I had to study the Torah. 150 00:06:08,192 --> 00:06:09,957 Oh, you are converting to Judaism? 151 00:06:09,982 --> 00:06:11,015 I had no idea. 152 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,895 Yeah, no, I'm... I'm just considering it. 153 00:06:12,897 --> 00:06:14,797 You know, they want me pretty bad. 154 00:06:14,799 --> 00:06:16,508 - Well... - Yeah. 155 00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:18,868 So is it really just you and me, man? 156 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,069 Yeah, every year, for my birthday, 157 00:06:20,071 --> 00:06:21,498 I invite one friend 158 00:06:21,523 --> 00:06:23,573 so we can really talk, and this year, 159 00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,240 you are that friend. 160 00:06:25,242 --> 00:06:27,976 Well, I am honored. 161 00:06:27,978 --> 00:06:29,308 Can I get you started with anything? 162 00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:31,379 Yeah, no, I can be probably be ready soon. 163 00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:32,662 Birthday boy, you want to go first? 164 00:06:32,686 --> 00:06:34,816 No, Jack, you go ahead. I'm having surgery tomorrow, 165 00:06:34,818 --> 00:06:37,118 so I can't have any food after 8:00. 166 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,516 That's why I made the reservation for 7:00. 167 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,444 Oh, my God. You're having surgery tomorrow? 168 00:06:40,469 --> 00:06:42,924 Super early. Reverse vasectomy. 169 00:06:42,926 --> 00:06:45,160 Kind of a birthday present for myself. 170 00:06:45,162 --> 00:06:47,162 Oh, gosh, everything you're saying 171 00:06:47,164 --> 00:06:48,429 is making me very sad. 172 00:06:48,431 --> 00:06:50,402 No, no, it should make you feel happy. 173 00:06:50,427 --> 00:06:52,734 - Oh. - I'm reclaiming my virility. 174 00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:55,003 I'm gonna give you some more time. 175 00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:56,028 No. no, no. 176 00:06:56,053 --> 00:06:58,239 He is gonna have a ribeye and a martini. 177 00:06:58,241 --> 00:07:00,637 Nothing for me, of course. At least I can see and smell 178 00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,845 and maybe touch my favorite meal. 179 00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:06,447 Oh, well... Okay. 180 00:07:06,449 --> 00:07:09,092 - Ah. - So... 181 00:07:10,353 --> 00:07:11,853 What's in the bag? 182 00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:13,650 The b... Oh. 183 00:07:15,225 --> 00:07:16,557 Uh, that's your birthday present. 184 00:07:16,559 --> 00:07:17,591 What? 185 00:07:17,852 --> 00:07:19,852 Yeah. Yeah, I had to. 186 00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:21,395 Just from the bookstore across the street. 187 00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,495 Jack. 188 00:07:25,268 --> 00:07:29,903 "A Bayesian Perspective on Queeny". 189 00:07:29,905 --> 00:07:31,338 - Quine. - Quine. 190 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:32,840 - Yeah. He was a philosopher. - Oh! 191 00:07:32,842 --> 00:07:34,108 I just learned two things. 192 00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,610 I thought maybe you would love that. 193 00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:38,042 No one has ever given me anything like this. 194 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,300 - I cannot wait. - Yeah... 195 00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,916 - I'm gonna save the bag. - Cool. 196 00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:45,559 Ah, so... Yeah. Yeah. 197 00:07:59,235 --> 00:08:02,069 I got the Streisand tickets! 198 00:08:02,071 --> 00:08:04,037 Yes. Okay. 199 00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:06,039 All right. 200 00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,464 Oh no! 201 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,861 That's gonna be some hot blood. 202 00:08:21,156 --> 00:08:24,666 - Ooh, that is cutting nice. - It is. Ah, God. 203 00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,325 Are you sure you don't want a bite? 204 00:08:26,327 --> 00:08:28,322 Oh, I wish. It's too risky. 205 00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:30,480 It's only a couple of hours before they re-doodle 206 00:08:30,505 --> 00:08:32,398 my noodle. 207 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,233 They're you gonna tinker with your dinker. 208 00:08:34,235 --> 00:08:37,821 They are gonna let loose my baby juice! 209 00:08:37,846 --> 00:08:39,272 ♪ Happy birthday to... ♪ 210 00:08:41,109 --> 00:08:42,907 I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. 211 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:46,341 I just... I can't believe I just 212 00:08:46,648 --> 00:08:48,915 talked about my junk to the wait staff. 213 00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:51,016 Here, let me make a wish. 214 00:08:51,018 --> 00:08:52,617 Hang on, no, it's still happened. 215 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,119 Here, you know what? 216 00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:56,321 You can thank my doodle for this, 'cause I can't eat it. 217 00:08:59,359 --> 00:09:00,800 I heard the hicks from Prairie 218 00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,305 are gonna toilet paper Whitlock tonight. 219 00:09:02,329 --> 00:09:04,288 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! 220 00:09:04,313 --> 00:09:06,597 We should kidnap their peppiest cheerleader 221 00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:08,266 and put her in a glass case. 222 00:09:08,268 --> 00:09:09,768 You guys talking about Prairie? 223 00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:12,705 I got mixed up with one of those Prairie hicks. 224 00:09:13,207 --> 00:09:16,243 It was the summer. 2017. 225 00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:20,188 I met Chaz Gurd at 4-H. 226 00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:24,381 He had a pond... rowboat, frogs, the whole deal. 227 00:09:24,383 --> 00:09:26,251 We skinny dipped in the moonlight 228 00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:28,855 and held each other as the black night 229 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,083 bore down upon us. 230 00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:31,763 Okay, we get it. All right. 231 00:09:37,964 --> 00:09:39,708 Guys, you are not gonna believe this. 232 00:09:39,732 --> 00:09:41,398 I had the best time 233 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,940 at Durbin's birthday thing last night. 234 00:09:44,154 --> 00:09:46,088 Huh, what's this? Principal Durbin came by 235 00:09:46,113 --> 00:09:48,579 and returned your book. He seemed pretty upset. 236 00:09:48,604 --> 00:09:50,598 I think he might have been crying... 237 00:09:50,726 --> 00:09:53,159 - and limping. - Oh, no. 238 00:09:53,412 --> 00:09:55,512 What did you do this time, Jack? 239 00:09:55,514 --> 00:09:58,037 Well, Marissa, I... 240 00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:00,717 I left a very incriminating bookmark 241 00:10:00,719 --> 00:10:03,621 in the book I panicked-gifted to Durbin. 242 00:10:05,724 --> 00:10:06,857 Ooh! 243 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,736 This is a bad sucky feeling. 244 00:10:11,738 --> 00:10:13,161 It's just an all-around 245 00:10:13,186 --> 00:10:15,559 crappy, sucky-ass situation, 246 00:10:15,584 --> 00:10:17,959 and there's nothing that can be done. 247 00:10:19,147 --> 00:10:21,579 - You could apologize. - Nah. 248 00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:23,665 No. No, I thought about that, 249 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,540 but it kind of doesn't work in real life, you know. 250 00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:28,620 You're right boss. It doesn't work. 251 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:32,022 I tried apologizing to Chaz Gurd for breaking his heart, 252 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,497 but he keeps sending me 253 00:10:33,522 --> 00:10:35,192 shirtless photos on his tractor. 254 00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:37,595 Counterpoint. It worked when I wet 255 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,785 my younger brother's bed from beneath it. 256 00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:40,876 He forgave me. 257 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,396 You wet his bed from underneath? 258 00:10:42,878 --> 00:10:43,978 How did... ? 259 00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,284 I'm not gonna discuss it any further. 260 00:10:46,309 --> 00:10:47,376 Yeah. 261 00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:52,594 Ah, hey, Helen, is, um, Ralph in? 262 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:53,718 No, he's at the morgue! 263 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,386 He didn't make it through surgery. 264 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,088 Helen, let me handle this. 265 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,558 And could you get some more crotch ice 266 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,336 for my paper underpants, please? 267 00:11:02,201 --> 00:11:04,606 Mr. Griffin, can I help you? 268 00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:07,132 Ah, do you mind if we...? 269 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,899 Ralph, I am, um... 270 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,318 I'm so sorry. Man, really, I... 271 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,652 I wasn't trying to get out 272 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:29,720 of a one-on-one dinner with you. 273 00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:30,854 I need you to know that. 274 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,105 I thought it was going to be a whole big group thing... 275 00:11:32,129 --> 00:11:34,527 - Ralph, it's not about that. - Jack, Jack, it's okay. 276 00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:37,574 Hey, I realized that this friendship 277 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,064 is... it's fool's gold. 278 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,765 Th-there's no gold in this river, 279 00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,435 so I'm gonna pack up my pan and shovel, 280 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,737 and my sluice boxes and my suction dredges, 281 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,006 and I'm gonna move on. 282 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,109 You're reading about gold panning? 283 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,843 Maybe. 284 00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:55,524 But that's something I would tell a friend, 285 00:11:56,135 --> 00:11:57,235 not a coworker. 286 00:11:58,145 --> 00:11:59,645 Have a good day, Mr. Griffin. 287 00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:05,155 Okay. 288 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,376 Oh God! 289 00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:18,535 Have a good day, Mr. Griffin. 290 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,082 I know. Ralph, I'm... she's... 291 00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,138 All right, I'm going. 292 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:23,469 I'm gonna... 293 00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:34,717 Ladies, do you see that? 294 00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:36,786 Do you see that blood being thrown out? 295 00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:38,922 I did that. I ruined that blood. 296 00:12:38,947 --> 00:12:40,723 I unplugged the fridge to charge my phone. 297 00:12:40,725 --> 00:12:43,559 You ruined a full day of blood donations? 298 00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:45,108 Don't say it like I meant to do it. 299 00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:46,162 It was a mistake. 300 00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,530 We have to catch Whitlock up, 301 00:12:47,532 --> 00:12:49,398 or we're gonna lose to those Prairie hicks. 302 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,367 We need to find more donors stat. 303 00:12:51,369 --> 00:12:53,714 I hear you need blood! 304 00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,239 We are winning this blood drive, 305 00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:01,029 and I will be God dang if Jack is gonna ruin 306 00:13:01,054 --> 00:13:03,244 Spirit Week and Ralph's birthday. 307 00:13:04,352 --> 00:13:05,413 Drain me. 308 00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:08,750 Are you sure? You've already given twice. 309 00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:11,419 Oh, honey, I'm a regular tomato soup factory. 310 00:13:11,421 --> 00:13:13,388 I gonna make myself go to sleep 311 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,883 and you tell them to just keep on taking it. 312 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:19,761 - Okay. - All right. 313 00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:20,809 - Hey. - Hey. 314 00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:22,931 Word on the street is Durbin hates you. 315 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,766 Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a little rough. 316 00:13:24,768 --> 00:13:26,367 You know I lost my principal friend, 317 00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:27,838 and just when he was about to hook me up 318 00:13:27,862 --> 00:13:29,495 with JV volleyball tickets. 319 00:13:29,839 --> 00:13:31,172 Bummer, man. Front row too. 320 00:13:31,774 --> 00:13:34,541 You know, Jack, this whole detached routine 321 00:13:34,543 --> 00:13:36,077 is getting a little boring. 322 00:13:36,492 --> 00:13:38,191 I know you care about Durbin. 323 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,447 Isn't it exhausting pretending that you don't? 324 00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:42,389 Not exhausting. Suck it, Prairie. 325 00:13:44,134 --> 00:13:46,134 What? Where are you going? 326 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,192 Wait. 327 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:55,557 Thank you. 328 00:13:55,582 --> 00:13:56,798 - Thanks. - Enjoy the game. 329 00:13:56,823 --> 00:13:58,323 And I can now announce 330 00:13:58,325 --> 00:14:01,049 that Prairie has won the tug of war! 331 00:14:04,731 --> 00:14:05,933 Oh my God, Mary! 332 00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:08,533 That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 333 00:14:08,535 --> 00:14:10,234 Ooh, I should get a quick pic for Durbin. 334 00:14:10,236 --> 00:14:12,857 He hasn't seen it yet. I guess he's in the bathroom. 335 00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:16,407 Oh! 336 00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:20,011 Ah, I was trying to find the dang camera app. 337 00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:21,982 Why did I put it in a folder? 338 00:14:22,216 --> 00:14:24,348 And now for the results of this year's 339 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:26,383 Spirit Week blood drive challenge. 340 00:14:26,385 --> 00:14:28,719 The winner is... the Whitlock Rams! 341 00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:32,622 Oh my God, Helen, you did it. 342 00:14:32,624 --> 00:14:34,123 You gave so much blood 343 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:35,525 that you won the blood drive for us. 344 00:14:35,549 --> 00:14:37,203 Oh, that's so great. 345 00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:41,235 All right, next up, we've got the mascot dunk contest. 346 00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:44,720 First up, Helen DeMarcus as the Whitlock Ram. 347 00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:45,812 That's me. 348 00:14:47,806 --> 00:14:50,273 I have a quick question. Are we in a tunnel? 349 00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:51,570 No, we're in a gym. 350 00:14:51,595 --> 00:14:54,648 And you are not falling down toward me from above? 351 00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:56,880 - You sure you wanna do this? - Oh, yeah, I'm good. 352 00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,282 Okay. 353 00:15:00,879 --> 00:15:02,251 For Durbin. 354 00:15:03,821 --> 00:15:06,455 Okay, Helen, you've got this. 355 00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:07,728 Stay focused. 356 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,495 All right, here we go. 357 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:14,463 No! 358 00:15:14,465 --> 00:15:17,299 This is not good! 359 00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:19,602 Holy...! 360 00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:25,574 Font! 361 00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:29,172 What do you think? Low two? 362 00:15:29,197 --> 00:15:30,229 Two? 363 00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:57,205 Ah, yo, a little help here? 364 00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:59,318 Ask one of your friends, dummy. 365 00:15:59,509 --> 00:16:01,276 See you. Wouldn't want to be you. 366 00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:40,514 Five, four, three, two, one! 367 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,918 And Prairie beats Whitlock, 368 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,722 74 to 9. 369 00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:50,491 That was in poor taste. 370 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,609 Damn, we got housed. 371 00:16:54,396 --> 00:16:57,498 Well, it all comes down to this, ladies and gents. 372 00:16:57,523 --> 00:16:59,755 It's the principal showdown, 373 00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:01,668 featuring Principal Durbin 374 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:02,904 from Whitlock High, 375 00:17:04,406 --> 00:17:08,592 versus Dr. Stumpf, from Prairie High! 376 00:17:10,186 --> 00:17:11,911 Remember, the principals don't know 377 00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:13,746 what the mystery challenge is. 378 00:17:13,748 --> 00:17:15,882 Will it be a battle of wits? 379 00:17:16,038 --> 00:17:20,887 No! It's riding mechanical rams... 380 00:17:20,889 --> 00:17:23,623 - Oh my God. - From hell! 381 00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:26,308 What the hell? 382 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:30,430 Whichever principal stays on longer wins. 383 00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:31,502 No. 384 00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:35,975 Ralph, you cannot do this. Your tubes are too tender. 385 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,971 Helen, I have to. I can tough it out 386 00:17:38,973 --> 00:17:40,706 - for Whitlock. - Hey, Ralph. 387 00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,856 This does not concern you, Mr. Griffin. 388 00:17:42,881 --> 00:17:45,545 Come on, Durbin, time for you to lose again. 389 00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:47,628 Tenth year in a row for you to lose, 390 00:17:47,653 --> 00:17:50,715 you loser. 391 00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:53,618 Ralph, you cannot do this. He can't do this. 392 00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:57,743 That means Whitlock forfeits and loses the Ram Cup. 393 00:17:57,768 --> 00:17:59,008 Hold on a second. Hold on. 394 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,092 What if, uh...? 395 00:18:01,173 --> 00:18:03,274 What if I ride the bull instead of Principal Durbin? 396 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,996 You know, for medical reasons. 397 00:18:05,188 --> 00:18:09,501 That is some typical Whitlock. 398 00:18:09,503 --> 00:18:11,303 Eh, let me see. 399 00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:13,195 Jack, what are you doing? 400 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:15,259 I'm not gonna help you move your new fridge in your house. 401 00:18:15,283 --> 00:18:16,920 My new fridge is in, don't worry about it. 402 00:18:16,944 --> 00:18:19,280 I'm doing this for you, pal. So, you can, you know, 403 00:18:19,305 --> 00:18:20,980 let loose you baby juice, remember? 404 00:18:21,005 --> 00:18:22,747 From the restaurant dinner? 405 00:18:22,749 --> 00:18:26,019 I agree to let you ride if I can have 406 00:18:26,044 --> 00:18:27,853 a designated rider as well. 407 00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:30,639 - Yeah. That seems fair. - Ah. 408 00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:32,836 Hey, Chaz. 409 00:18:36,362 --> 00:18:39,930 Alright from Prairie High, third year senior 410 00:18:39,932 --> 00:18:43,501 and semi-professional bull rider, Chaz Gurd. 411 00:18:43,503 --> 00:18:46,104 Yeah! Let's go! 412 00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:50,608 - Is that? - Yep. 413 00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:55,480 And from Whitlock, middle-aged A.P. Bio teacher 414 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,948 Jack Griffin! 415 00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,017 - Middle-aged? - That's what it says. 416 00:19:00,019 --> 00:19:02,019 Come on, man. I'm, you know. 417 00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:03,988 I crap bigger than you. 418 00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,610 Come on, dude, that's from "City Slickers". 419 00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:06,724 Eh? 420 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,258 Oh. 421 00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:19,036 And here we go! 422 00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:20,971 Let's go! Get up! 423 00:19:20,973 --> 00:19:24,141 Ride the ram! Ride the ram! 424 00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:27,077 Ride the ram! Ride the ram! 425 00:19:27,079 --> 00:19:30,014 Ride the ram! Ride the ram! 426 00:19:34,486 --> 00:19:39,189 On your mark, get set... ride! 427 00:19:48,933 --> 00:19:51,368 Don't worry. I got this. 428 00:19:53,038 --> 00:19:56,673 Chaz. 429 00:20:04,082 --> 00:20:07,750 - Oops. - Heather? 430 00:20:10,088 --> 00:20:12,922 Come to me. 431 00:20:17,729 --> 00:20:19,628 And Chaz Gurd has been thrown! 432 00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:22,231 Whitlock High are the 2019 Champions! 433 00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:24,901 - Yes. - Whoo-hoo! 434 00:20:24,903 --> 00:20:27,636 Yeah, baby! I did it! I did it! 435 00:20:28,939 --> 00:20:30,286 Aw, man. 436 00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,461 - Hey, so, friends? - Best friends. 437 00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:34,776 That's a little much. 438 00:20:34,778 --> 00:20:36,544 Come on, just razzing you, man, 439 00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:38,780 - like friends do. - All right. 440 00:20:38,782 --> 00:20:41,116 - Go ice those balls. - I will. 441 00:20:41,118 --> 00:20:44,119 I'm not far behind. Oof. 442 00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:45,987 Hey. 443 00:20:45,989 --> 00:20:48,223 I see you found your school spirit, Jack. 444 00:20:48,225 --> 00:20:50,412 No, I've just grown to hate these Prairie hicks so much 445 00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:52,094 that I wanted to see them lose, you know? 446 00:20:52,096 --> 00:20:53,514 And feel deep humiliation. 447 00:20:53,539 --> 00:20:55,819 That is exactly what school spirit is. 448 00:20:55,844 --> 00:20:57,099 Here. 449 00:20:57,101 --> 00:20:59,835 Geez. 450 00:20:59,837 --> 00:21:02,637 Oh, come on, don't make a big deal out of this. 451 00:21:07,577 --> 00:21:09,310 Why not, huh? 31856

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