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1
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,248
Well, she's... she's my rock.
2
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,795
What... What am I supposed to do
without her, you know? It...
3
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,799
Ow!
4
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,425
Nut up, man.
5
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,762
This is the universe telling you
you're not meant to be tied down.
6
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,182
Look, I was living
with a chick once, right?
7
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,892
And she wanted me to put a ring on it.
8
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,393
And I thought I was gonna have to,
9
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,771
because I was living in her place,
which was sweet.
10
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,733
Then one day she comes home,
catches me boning her first cousin,
11
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:53,279
breaks up with me, but more important,
thinks the place is tainted and moves out.
12
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,991
Who's got two thumbs and is living
in a sweet Huh?
13
00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,453
Place has a friggin' gym in the building
and she left her Instant Pot.
14
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,872
You gotta look at the bigger picture here.
15
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,541
But she's...
16
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,000
Morning.
17
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:15,760
Oh, ooh. Taystee?
Can you give me a hand, please?
18
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,513
Shit.
19
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,270
Did you hear me calling you for help?
20
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,979
What?
21
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,440
Do I have any messages?
22
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,654
- Taystee, did you take down...
- Linda's office called.
23
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,281
Great. Just call her back.
24
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,783
She said she wants you
to come in for a meeting.
25
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,827
Mmm-hmm.
26
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,831
In person? In person is serious.
She say what it was about?
27
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,333
Uh... No.
28
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,837
I'm doing everything
they told me to.
29
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,882
I've signed my name so many times,
I'm spelling my own name wrong.
30
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:57,260
Um, I bet Hopper told her
about my programs.
31
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,761
That's why he wouldn't look at me.
32
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,306
When's this meeting?
I need time to prepare.
33
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,185
You okay?
34
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,438
Yeah, sorry, I just got a lot on my mind.
35
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,521
Yeah.
36
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,117
It was Thursday. Thursday.
37
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,327
Thank you.
38
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,122
Why is there Wite-Out
on the signature line?
39
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,625
Did she forget her own damn name?
40
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:33,087
I got shirts older
than this new warden.
41
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:36,132
Anyhow, your paperwork is in order,
42
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,427
but I still need the address
for where you'll be staying after release.
43
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:40,887
You got that for me?
44
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,513
No.
45
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:46,851
Well, have you at least
reached out to your family?
46
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,187
No, I ain't got around to it yet.
47
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:51,105
Ms. Hayes, look at me.
48
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:56,194
You have to have some place to go.
The halfway houses are at capacity.
49
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:57,819
Sorry.
50
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:01,032
Don't apologize to me.
Just get me an address.
51
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:03,993
Okay.
52
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,791
I know. I know. I know.
53
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,000
Do you?
54
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,963
Do you know how friggin' lucky you are
that you just got sent to NA?
55
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,589
She could have sent you back here.
56
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,353
What if that's what my subconscious wants?
57
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,759
No.
58
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:23,721
I think I just wanted to feel something.
It was stupid and I'm sorry.
59
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:28,351
Well, why don't you find someone
other than your brother to hang out with?
60
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,434
What about Neri?
61
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,104
I'm not on her good side at the moment.
62
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,564
Cal basically had to promise
that we'd be her slaves
63
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:34,774
so she wouldn't kick us out.
64
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,277
How about some girls from work?
65
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,823
I think they know I'm the one
that cookie-monstered their cake.
66
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,701
Wow, here I was thinking
I was the reckless one.
67
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,120
I guess we're two fucked up peas in a pod.
68
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:51,416
- I wanna be in your pod.
- I know. Me, too.
69
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,254
Too bad we're not even
in the same garden.
70
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:07,056
Pipes, do you need to find
some other peas to pod with?
71
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,224
What?
72
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,727
No.
73
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,564
You're my pea, you're my pod.
Why would you even ask me that?
74
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:18,067
Just... hear me out.
75
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,821
You clearly need something more
in your life.
76
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,575
You know, someone outside of this glass.
77
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:30,705
Someone who can touch you, and it's legal,
and it feels good.
78
00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:33,624
I'm not saying I wanna know details,
but, um...
79
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,420
Dangerous.
80
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,699
This is very, very dangerous. And what you're doing isn't?
81
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:49,891
Look, there's no way you're replacing
this golden pussy. I know that.
82
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:52,810
But I also know that you feel restricted
by all these rules
83
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:57,148
and I don't want you to resent
our relationship for, like, confining you.
84
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,650
I don't resent us.
85
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,281
Piper, this is all I can do for you
from in here.
86
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,284
Let me do this for you.
87
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,994
This is ridiculous.
88
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,374
Besides, I haven't even been in the mood.
89
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:18,378
Well, we have three years to go.
So just think about it.
90
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:23,549
As much as I wanna be with you,
I don't want you back in here.
91
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,430
My God, she's climbing the stairs already?
92
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,558
It's going so fast.
93
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,229
Yes.
94
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,647
Told you she's advanced.
95
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,192
"Yes."
96
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,486
- Her new word is "yes."
- Oh.
97
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:46,864
And also "duck."
98
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,950
Duck like quack-quack.
99
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,869
- Hmm.
- And she makes the quack noise, too.
100
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,955
But it's more like "cack."
101
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,790
She's a genius.
102
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,254
Listen, I gotta tell you something.
103
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,216
I'm seeing someone.
104
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,052
We said we weren't gonna talk
about those things.
105
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,637
This one is different.
106
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:14,934
A month. Sergio introduced us.
107
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,187
- I don't wanna hear about it.
- I gotta be honest with you.
108
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:23,734
Well, you also gotta leave Pepa out of it.
A month is a short time.
109
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,422
And I don't want her getting all attached
to some rando
110
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,614
that you're gonna drop in another month.
111
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:34,996
And what the fuck is Sergio doing
introducing you to girls? He's my cousin.
112
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,456
Pepa and I are moving in with her.
113
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,999
The fuck you are!
114
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:42,712
You won't bring Pepa here
115
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,648
because you don't want her
to see her mother in prison,
116
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:48,676
but you're okay to let her see you
screwing some fling?
117
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:51,804
- No. Nuh-uh. Not happening.
- It's not a fling.
118
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:57,768
This is serious, and you don't get
to choose what we do.
119
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:01,481
- Of course I do. I'm Pepa's mother.
- But you're in here.
120
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,610
Leave Pepa out of it.
121
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:10,990
Well, I may be in here, but I know you.
122
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,912
And I know that your fling
or whatever ain't gonna work out.
123
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:19,332
I seen you in love. With me.
124
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:23,044
And this ain't like that.
This is sex or whatever.
125
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:29,175
Well, I guess
I love me some Guess.
126
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:35,139
I guess I love wearing Guess.
It makes me feel so sexy and rich.
127
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,072
Stop, stop.
128
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:53,574
Ooh.
129
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:57,453
Princesa, you should only ever be dressed
in the finest.
130
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,830
Well, it's coming off. Oh, my God.
131
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,625
Orlando would shit himself
if he knew I had sex in this dress.
132
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,085
Shit.
133
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,212
Well, he's off somewhere in Europe.
134
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,132
You're the boss now.
135
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:15,555
Oh, my God.
- There. Now, you own it.
136
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,641
You're so lucky I got a price tag gun.
137
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:22,144
I can't afford that. Plus, I got
no place fancy to wear it anyhow.
138
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,899
Well, maybe I have the fix for that.
139
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:40,621
We got a whole table of True Religions.
You need a new idea.
140
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,705
Mmm-mmm.
141
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,542
These are a third of the price.
142
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,589
No, don't worry about it.
143
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,174
Tell people that it's the new design.
144
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:56,507
The name's on the label. Hmm? The way they're gonna feel in them
is the same.
145
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:03,060
The only other difference
is the extra cash lining your pockets
146
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:06,480
when you sell these full retail. Hmm?
147
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,400
Then we can go to clubs
148
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:13,613
and fancy restaurants.
149
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,282
Show off this body.
150
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,576
What do you think?
151
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,622
Shit.
152
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,961
Is that the boyfriend?
153
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,342
- I'll be back in 20 minutes.
- I'll wait.
154
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:39,430
I can always wait for you, Princesa.
155
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,983
You want to go out to lunch tomorrow?
156
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,194
We're out.
157
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,031
No, I mean like some place
they bring you food to your table.
158
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,033
I like it here.
159
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,879
Stop hoggin' those chips.
You wanna look flabby in the ring?
160
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,631
I'm taking a break.
161
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,217
When were you gonna tell me this?
162
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,887
I'm still getting the headaches.
And I'm doing good here.
163
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,099
I got 30 Pro Access sign ups.
164
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,351
Thirty more
and they make me assistant manager.
165
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:32,608
Sergio called.
Luis got picked up selling H last night.
166
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,570
He did
167
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:41,659
Everyone's gettin' popped lately.
Big Leo, George, Chickie Jr.
168
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:43,744
All goin' down.
169
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,441
It's good we got out when we did.
170
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,001
You ever miss it?
171
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:57,466
We're together.
We're safe, we have food. I'm thankful.
172
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,803
I am so thankful for another day
173
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,891
in this shit mall
with my damp ham and cheese.
174
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,602
Gotta give it a little time.
175
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:13,065
With assistant manager money
and what you're making as a manager,
176
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,359
soon we'll be buying
Panda Express for lunch.
177
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,236
Can't wait.
178
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,032
There.
179
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,829
You are right.
This place does make the DMV look cheery.
180
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:30,082
Why don't you have some underpaid laborer
knock down that wall
181
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,877
and get yourself some breathing room.
You are the warden.
182
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:37,965
ICE has all the power around here.
I am just a form-filling figurehead.
183
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:40,760
Here, this'll make you feel better.
184
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,261
You can be good
185
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:45,973
and you can reward yourself
for being good.
186
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:47,516
What do you want?
187
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,729
Can we talk without a desk between us?
188
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:57,902
You have as long as it takes me
to finish this Tony's Chocolonely.
189
00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:03,449
Then I gotta get back to begging
petty bureaucrats for Imam visitation.
190
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:07,745
I swear, I should get them a special stamp
that reads "fuck the ragheads"
191
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:11,791
for them to pound into anything
that says the word "Muslim" on it.
192
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,961
I saw the doctor this morning.
193
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:21,967
Well, he said my guys are sparse
and sleepy "swimmers."
194
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,060
I've never heard you laugh before.
195
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,687
It is unnerving.
196
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:38,984
So, what are they gonna do
to wake your guys up?
197
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,820
They're gonna pour coffee into my dick.
198
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,279
No!
199
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:46,033
I'd have to have a surgery on my balls.
200
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:50,412
Well, as long as your beer can
still pops its top, cut 'em open.
201
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:51,747
No, it's just...
202
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,124
It just got me thinking.
203
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,920
Your eggs are old, my sperms are tired.
204
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:02,007
Maybe it's a sign we just sit back
and enjoy each other's company.
205
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,425
No fucking way.
206
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,719
I've been shooting my ass up
with hormones for months.
207
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,596
You can get a tiny ball surgery.
208
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,057
What do you want me
to pass along to a kid, anyway?
209
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,351
More hair in his ears than on his scalp?
210
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:17,189
Our kid will be 100% me.
My genes are not recessive.
211
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,750
I don't think science works like that.
212
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:24,446
Fine. It can be one percent you.
There are parts of you I like.
213
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:27,867
Uh-huh.
214
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:34,874
Your puppy dog eyes are tolerable.
215
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,919
That'll do, Fig. That will do.
216
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,179
You're getting the surgery.
217
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,558
I am not getting my balls fucking snipped.
218
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:56,729
My balls are cut off every day here.
Do you see me quitting?
219
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,064
No more cutting balls talk.
220
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,737
Really?
221
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:09,450
Where's the rest of that chocolate?
222
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,666
Oh. Uh...
- Mmm.
223
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,793
Please come in. I'm so sorry
224
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,296
about the food-meeting double tasking.
225
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,173
My Gyrotonic teacher
was late this morning.
226
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,550
It snowballed my entire day. Please sit.
227
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,318
I know you may have heard
about the programs.
228
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,777
What programs?
229
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:52,451
Oh, the GED and motivational courses
for the inmates.
230
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,704
N... Nothing even worth
talking about, really.
231
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,748
How much is this costing me?
232
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,875
Nothing. They're all volunteer led.
233
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,460
- Then, great!
- Yeah.
234
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,939
That's a solid talking point
for your Channel 3 News interview.
235
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,007
Although, when you say it to the camera,
really sell it.
236
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,509
You know, something like,
237
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:12,471
"We have an array of exciting motivational
courses available to all of our inmates."
238
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,806
Um, what interview?
239
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,392
Did you not get the press release
from this morning?
240
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,228
We are shutting down the Psych Ward
241
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,063
and converting it
into more inmate housing.
242
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,858
Wow. Uh... wow.
243
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,819
I know. That's exciting, right?
244
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,988
Uh, we're not concerned about
245
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,199
how we're gonna handle
Psych inmates with gen pop?
246
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,742
They were in Psych for a reason.
247
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,706
I've already spoken
to several federal hospitals
248
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:39,164
and they have room for some
of our more challenging patients.
249
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,709
And the rest you can just
take care of with medications.
250
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,378
It's a buyer's market for lithium now.
We should really stock up.
251
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:48,173
Well,
meds aren't all one size fits all.
252
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,884
There's also Thorazine or Prolixin.
253
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,722
You know, you should spend some time
with our PolyCon approval manual.
254
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:55,925
It lists all the medications
255
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,683
- that we get special rates on.
- Mmm.
256
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:02,062
Full-priced medications are for suckers,
am I right
257
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:05,232
Hurray for corporate discounts.
Here are your talking points.
258
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,316
Whoa.
259
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,945
I'm... I'm not sure I'm the best person
to be talking about this.
260
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,031
I've never even done an interview before.
261
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:16,994
You'll be great! The young, fresh,
ethnic face of Litchfield Max.
262
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,620
The camera will love you.
263
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:22,249
And wear your hair just like that.
It's wonderful.
264
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,837
This is going to be an important week.
265
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,758
We are going to be writing letters
to people from our past who...
266
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:34,470
Ooh! I'm gonna write Raleigh Peck,
from high school. He played quarterback.
267
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,346
Dibs on Eckhart Tolle.
268
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,057
I am writing to Tolle.
269
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,226
His Power of Now calendar
is my flashlight cutting through the fog,
270
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,436
so back the fuck off.
271
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:46,774
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
Please, let me clarify.
272
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,234
You'll be writing an apology
273
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:55,115
to someone who was a victim
of something you did in the past.
274
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,992
But what if my crime don't got a victim?
275
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,994
Right. I'm innocent, too.
276
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,432
Doesn't necessarily have to be the victim
of the crimes that got you in here.
277
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:05,209
So you're talking about the crimes
we didn't get caught for?
278
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,002
Get off the crime of it.
279
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:12,466
And think about the trauma
you might have inflicted on someone,
280
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,470
intentionally or unintentionally.
281
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:24,686
All right, let's do
a visualization exercise, huh?
282
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,647
Everyone close your eyes.
283
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:31,360
Come on, come on. Close your eyes. Yeah?
284
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:38,408
Imagine you're getting into an elevator
with another person
285
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,453
and you can't see their face yet
286
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,081
because they're staring down
at their phone.
287
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,791
So fucking rude.
288
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,169
Shh! You're fucking rude for interrupting.
289
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,963
The elevator's going up.
290
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,925
Seventh floor. Eighth floor.
291
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,094
Ninth floor.
292
00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,848
All of a sudden, the elevator shakes
and gets stuck.
293
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,684
You turn to the other person for help
294
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:10,732
only to realize it's someone
you did something horrible to.
295
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,027
Who is that person,
296
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:17,364
hmm, you'd hate to be trapped
on that elevator with?
297
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,579
I'm gonna write a letter
to Raleigh Peck's girlfriend.
298
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,999
I'm taking the stairs instead.
299
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,626
I'm the real victim here.
Where's my fucking letter?
300
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:35,007
My mom left and didn't write no letter.
My dad's an asshole, no letter.
301
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:40,596
I took the fall for the riot.
My man's moving in with some bitch.
302
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,015
I mean, I should write myself a letter.
303
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:46,393
"Dear self,
sorry everyone in your life's been shit."
304
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,104
Try to dig a little deeper.
305
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,191
All right, come on. Let's get to it.
306
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,783
Give it a shot.
307
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,623
Hayes, is there a problem?
Let's talk about it.
308
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,376
You were in my imagination elevator.
309
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,129
My letter is to you.
310
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,465
Didn't you kill your kids?
311
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,010
Yeah, but they... they can't read.
312
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,728
Princesa, when you gonna break up
with that guy?
313
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,773
When you gonna leave your wife?
314
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,983
As soon as you leave yours,
I'll leave mine.
315
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,069
It's complicated.
316
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,073
We got history.
He got me out of my dad's house.
317
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,866
Do you love him?
318
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,910
I love you.
319
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,705
- You're fun.
- Hmm. Mmm-hmm.
320
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:51,041
And you talk.
321
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,544
It sure ain't like that with him. But...
322
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,965
you gotta give me some time
to do it right.
323
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,969
I owe him that much.
324
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,052
Maria?
325
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,849
There's a lady doing weird shit out here.
I can't deal.
326
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,654
What the
327
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:25,242
What are you, some kinda pervert?
Get outta here.
328
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,159
I need to speak to your manager.
329
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,036
I'm the manager.
Out, before I call the cops.
330
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,288
I am the cops.
331
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,874
And you're under arrest
for trafficking in counterfeit goods.
332
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:41,466
You two? You... You looked so good
in those jeans I sold you the other day.
333
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,136
That's because they are real
True Religion jeans.
334
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,221
Right from the factory in Los Angeles.
335
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,432
No, my guess is
they came from China.
336
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,142
All fakes have that mildewy smell
337
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:53,895
because manufacturers stuff 'em
in plastic bags before they're even dry.
338
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:57,941
People like you make my job too easy.
Now, move. Move your feet.
339
00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:02,863
Hey.
340
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,407
Hey, who's gonna close up?
341
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,890
Thanks for letting me in. Well, normally I couldn't do this,
342
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:12,581
but our head guard is currently
locked in the break room crying,
343
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,499
so I think I can do anything I want.
344
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,971
Don't come in here
unless you have a death wish.
345
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:34,144
Jesus Christ!
There's something dead in here.
346
00:22:34,978 --> 00:22:38,023
No, it's my soul.
347
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:42,694
You feeling okay? You walked out on class.
348
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:46,365
There's no point in going
if I won't finish.
349
00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:48,408
I'm getting out next week.
350
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:53,622
Congratulations! That is amazing, Hayes.
351
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:57,250
Come back to class.
352
00:22:58,126 --> 00:23:00,926
Huh? We'll come up with a plan for you
to keep it going on the outside.
353
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,258
I'm only getting out
'cause I fucked over my best friend.
354
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:07,386
Ain't no letter gonna fix what I done.
355
00:23:08,428 --> 00:23:09,846
You don't believe that.
356
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,641
You showed up
to restorative justice class.
357
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:14,309
You made that choice for yourself.
358
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:18,230
'Cause I didn't want to end up like no...
359
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:22,734
crazy, old, smelly-ass,
cockroach-loving hoarder.
360
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:29,032
But now, I get it. This is my punishment.
361
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,994
I don't know what this is,
but you served your time.
362
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,496
You can leave it all behind.
363
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,623
You build whatever life
you want out there.
364
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,959
I don't deserve to be released.
365
00:23:39,042 --> 00:23:40,168
Come back to class.
366
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:43,588
Work on being the person that deserves it.
367
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:48,176
Don't focus
on what you can't fix.
368
00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:50,720
Focus on what you can.
369
00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:55,434
Yeah, while you're fixing stuff,
maybe get to that toilet.
370
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,060
It hasn't worked in days.
371
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:02,899
Get out of this cell.
372
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:06,528
Fresh air'll give you a new perspective
and some sanity.
373
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,572
See you in class.
374
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,909
Yeah. One day,
375
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:16,621
some do-gooder'll start
a recycling program here,
376
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:19,416
and I'm gonna be ready.
377
00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:21,001
I'll make a killing.
378
00:24:40,228 --> 00:24:43,648
Hey. How's intel coming along?
379
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,233
Nothing good yet.
380
00:24:45,817 --> 00:24:47,319
Then why you out here?
381
00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:51,114
I got other shit I gotta deal with first.
382
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:54,618
Oh, yeah? Shit that's more important
than our little project?
383
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,458
Cindy's getting out on early release.
384
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:05,921
She lied on the stand, she betrayed me,
and she gets to go free.
385
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,968
- Fuck.
- Yep.
386
00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:19,935
Look at her rubbin' her
little freedom Cheetos in your face.
387
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:22,437
- That's some mad disrespect right there.
- I know.
388
00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:24,898
What should we do to her?
389
00:25:24,981 --> 00:25:27,943
"We"? You know I ain't got no money.
390
00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:32,197
Nah. This one's on me.
391
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:36,326
See, rats, they bring disease.
They make everybody sick.
392
00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:40,956
And you my lifer-sister,
at least until you pay me to die.
393
00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:43,875
You know what?
394
00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:46,503
I could have Adeola teach her
how gravity works.
395
00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:51,341
Nah, man. I don't want to have
nobody getting thrown off no balcony.
396
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:54,302
Or maybe we could plant a shiv?
397
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:57,639
Hmm? Steal her date.
398
00:25:58,807 --> 00:25:59,807
Hmm.
399
00:26:01,851 --> 00:26:04,729
But I really don't want to see her face
around here no more.
400
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:08,775
What do you care?
You're not gonna be here for much longer.
401
00:26:11,152 --> 00:26:12,737
Oh, shit.
402
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:16,616
Yo, we could rearrange her face
like on some Picasso shit.
403
00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:20,412
Yeah, I think this is something
I gotta do myself.
404
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:24,374
Hey, I'm Jason. I'm an addict.
405
00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:26,001
Hi, Jason.
406
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:30,088
Ten years ago today,
I took my last 15 oxys.
407
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:33,592
And it's because
408
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:35,093
all of you kept repeating...
409
00:26:35,176 --> 00:26:38,054
...this mantra to me
until I finally believed it.
410
00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:41,016
"Keep coming back
because you're worth it."
411
00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:45,520
Oh, man, I thought
it was so corny at first.
412
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,689
But I kept coming back
413
00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:50,942
because people like you
kept telling me to come back.
414
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:57,490
And then one day I finally heard it.
I'm worth it.
415
00:26:58,491 --> 00:27:00,368
I had never let myself think that before
416
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,121
because my parents never allowed me
to think that.
417
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:07,000
It wasn't enough to be a great swimmer.
I had to be perfect.
418
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:11,921
This meant no hanging out with friends,
definitely no girlfriends.
419
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:14,591
No TV, no video games.
420
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,052
There were so many rules.
421
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:20,096
I couldn't even take a bathroom break
without being timed.
422
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:24,017
So when my dad came home
with meds from his knee surgery,
423
00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:26,269
I took one.
424
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:29,439
It was my way of rebelling.
425
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:35,236
I personally put their Imam request
on your desk.
426
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,489
It is sitting there right in front of you.
427
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:41,701
I expect it signed and back on my desk
tomorrow morning!
428
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:48,083
Yes!
429
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:50,251
I brought you this.
430
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:53,296
Mmm. I'm a sucker for a gift bag.
431
00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:56,549
Ta
432
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:03,556
What about me makes you think
I'm a plant person?
433
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:09,854
I... I heard that, uh, plants do better
with a companion plant.
434
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,316
Even if they hate each other,
the hate makes them live longer.
435
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,777
Clearly you've been talking to Joe.
436
00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:19,989
He loves to attribute human emotions
to leaves and twigs.
437
00:28:20,073 --> 00:28:23,243
So what have you two merry crusaders
hit a wall on?
438
00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:27,872
He said, uh, he's not as good
with Linda-related things as you are.
439
00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:30,375
And I've heard
how well you've handled her.
440
00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:34,212
Yeah. I handled her so well
I ended up here.
441
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:36,548
So what is the conniving turd up to now?
442
00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:40,719
She is shutting down Psych.
443
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:43,722
Of course she is. Jesus.
444
00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:46,599
It's probably great
for PolyCon's stock projections.
445
00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:50,019
Well, it's dangerous to put Psych inmates
with regular inmates.
446
00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:51,604
They need specialized care.
447
00:28:51,688 --> 00:28:53,457
And I've done some research.
I've got the numbers...
448
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:58,401
Save your energy. That train has left the station. You just have
to decide if you wanna get on board, or at least pretend to.
449
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:06,327
Pretending with Linda is one thing, uh,
but she's having me speak to the press.
450
00:29:06,953 --> 00:29:08,830
You're her human shield. I...
451
00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:13,126
I have got to hand it to her.
She is outdoing herself.
452
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:20,133
I'm not a good liar.
The press is gonna eat me alive.
453
00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:26,473
No, they won't.
454
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:31,269
Because I'm going to teach you something.
It's called pivot and deflect.
455
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:33,313
Sounds like a dance move.
456
00:29:33,396 --> 00:29:35,106
It is a dance.
457
00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:39,486
They... They step forward with a question,
you step to the side
458
00:29:39,569 --> 00:29:42,405
and answer the question
you wish they'd asked. Got it?
459
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:45,492
I want to say yes
because your face says to,
460
00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:47,076
but I don't got it.
461
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:53,792
Okay, um, pretend you're the interviewer
and ask me if I like your present.
462
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:57,212
Uh... do you like the plant
that I gave you?
463
00:29:57,295 --> 00:30:00,799
Uh, that is a great question.
464
00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:04,385
But this isn't about
my enjoyment of succulents.
465
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:09,432
It is about the enjoyment
they can bring to everyone.
466
00:30:09,516 --> 00:30:13,686
So I need you to make sure those plants
467
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:19,025
bring joy to as many people as possible.
468
00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:21,401
Here.
469
00:30:22,403 --> 00:30:26,074
I am so glad that you are doing this.
470
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,410
You are good at this.
471
00:30:32,413 --> 00:30:35,583
"I'm sorry,
dear maples of Vermont...
472
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:40,380
for wasting your sticky sweetness,
473
00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:42,465
your lifeblood,
474
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,093
to drown a man.
475
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,679
I'm sorry,
476
00:30:49,264 --> 00:30:50,682
and I'm thankful."
477
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:55,395
Some people deserve to die.
478
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:58,982
All right, then.
479
00:30:59,649 --> 00:31:04,654
I'm not sure that the maples necessarily
should be the recipient of your apology,
480
00:31:05,738 --> 00:31:07,240
but it was heartfelt.
481
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:10,243
I eat pancakes dry as penance.
482
00:31:10,326 --> 00:31:14,205
Okay, then. Uh, Ruiz, you're up.
483
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:23,172
"Fuck you, Yadriel.
484
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:30,597
I don't give you permission
to take my baby to live with some ho."
485
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,223
Time out. Time out.
486
00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,893
It's the word "ho," isn't it?
I went back and forth on that one.
487
00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:36,996
I know we're not supposed
to call each other that no more.
488
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,187
Gotta take it back, ho.
489
00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:40,711
Change it to "puta."
Gives it more punch with an ethnic flair.
490
00:31:40,815 --> 00:31:42,233
It's not why I stopped you.
491
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,111
I stopped you because it doesn't sound
like a letter to your victim.
492
00:31:45,194 --> 00:31:47,071
But I don't got a victim, remember?
493
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,866
All I did was sell some bitches
a few fake clothes.
494
00:31:49,949 --> 00:31:52,452
They wanted brand names,
I gave them brand names.
495
00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:54,078
So who's the victim there?
496
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:56,164
Fuck a Gucci.
497
00:31:56,456 --> 00:32:00,835
I am the victim, so I wrote a letter
to one of my victimizers.
498
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,211
That wasn't the assignment.
499
00:32:02,545 --> 00:32:04,297
That one over there apologized to trees.
500
00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:06,382
At least it was an apology.
501
00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:11,179
Uh, my advice,
go back and give it another try.
502
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:13,681
Well, nobody asked you, Dear Abby.
503
00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:16,726
Sorry I'm late.
504
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,398
Letter took longer than I thought.
505
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,192
I'm glad to have you back.
506
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:27,612
You
507
00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:30,239
Does everything that happens in here
stay in here?
508
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,785
Of course. Right, ladies?
509
00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:35,370
I'll keep your secrets like Vegas.
510
00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:38,456
That stuff always ends up
on the Instagram.
511
00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:40,792
I'll keep your secrets
like we're in Fight Club.
512
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:50,385
Um...
513
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:54,597
So I have a lot of victims,
514
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:57,308
and some of them
I can't do anything about right now,
515
00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:02,021
so I decided to start with someone
I hope I'm seein' first when I get out.
516
00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:08,444
"Dear Ma, I'm sorry.
517
00:33:11,030 --> 00:33:13,199
I don't think I ever said that to you,
518
00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:16,369
but if you had a dollar
for every time I should have said it,
519
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:20,206
you'd be hanging with those Amazon
and Facebook dudes, countin' your money."
520
00:33:20,289 --> 00:33:21,874
"At the top of the list,
521
00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:28,214
I'm sorry I stuck you
with raising my baby as your own.
522
00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:37,098
I'm especially sorry
if she's anything like me.
523
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:42,395
I'm also sorry
I tried to take her away from you.
524
00:33:44,147 --> 00:33:46,607
I know that I may be her birth mom,
525
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:50,111
but you are her mom-mom.
526
00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:54,907
You're the person that's been in her face
527
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:58,494
every day, whether she likes it or not.
528
00:33:59,537 --> 00:34:02,081
The person who makes her
egg and bacon smiles,
529
00:34:02,957 --> 00:34:06,127
gives her boob-smother hugs
when she's sick,
530
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:10,298
and knows what Slurpee flavor
will get her to smile.
531
00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:19,182
I know how much the truth would hurt
both you and Monica,
532
00:34:19,265 --> 00:34:20,641
so this is the last time
533
00:34:21,934 --> 00:34:24,729
I'll talk about giving birth to her.
534
00:34:27,273 --> 00:34:29,442
And it'll be my first step
towards being the person
535
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:31,005
you'd be proud to call your daughter.
536
00:34:33,821 --> 00:34:36,532
I hope we can all live together
when I get out, so...
537
00:34:40,244 --> 00:34:42,371
so I can make it up to both of you.
538
00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:47,126
Love, your daughter, Cindy."
539
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:56,636
That's great.
540
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:09,524
You have to position the claw
over the body, not the head.
541
00:35:12,318 --> 00:35:14,362
Use your common sense.
542
00:35:16,322 --> 00:35:18,324
Yeah?
- You picked up!
543
00:35:18,699 --> 00:35:19,909
Stop calling me.
544
00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:21,911
I want to apologize.
545
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,288
Please let me say I'm sorry.
546
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:30,837
I got greedy and I made the wrong choice.
I know that.
547
00:35:31,754 --> 00:35:33,965
We were done with all that.
I know.
548
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:36,300
And I screwed up our life.
549
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:41,264
Don't you know how much I wish
I was in that food court right now,
550
00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:42,974
eating sandwiches with you?
551
00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:47,937
I can't do this.
Please don't call anymore.
552
00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:50,773
Yadriel, wait. I'm pregnant.
553
00:35:54,485 --> 00:35:55,778
Yadriel, you there?
554
00:35:58,072 --> 00:35:59,472
When did that happen? I don't know,
555
00:36:03,202 --> 00:36:05,204
but you're the only one I've been with.
556
00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,711
Yadriel
557
00:36:13,546 --> 00:36:14,546
Yadriel.
558
00:36:18,217 --> 00:36:19,343
I'm gonna be a daddy.
559
00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:24,182
Yeah.
560
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,935
Yeah. Yeah, you are.
561
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:31,105
It's two-ply.
562
00:36:35,067 --> 00:36:36,152
Yeah, you are.
563
00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:42,617
Take a seat.
564
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:43,826
Good, good.
565
00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:47,288
Shh.
566
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:50,416
Niall is cock-blocking Adam
from stealing Kendall's pussy away.
567
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,378
Why are we watching
a bunch of Brexit voters in bikinis?
568
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:57,423
- You know they didn't vote.
- Which was a vote for Brexit.
569
00:36:57,506 --> 00:36:59,300
But abs.
570
00:36:59,967 --> 00:37:01,052
You gotta stop.
571
00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:05,932
It's already eating your brain.
Come on, now, tell me about your day.
572
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:10,019
No, I want the hot glistening bodies
to zap away my brain and my day.
573
00:37:10,102 --> 00:37:11,938
...you've got to keep your cards...
I can't.
574
00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:13,231
I'm just a bit out there.
575
00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:16,943
Well, I had a real breakthrough
in Restorative Justice today.
576
00:37:17,026 --> 00:37:20,738
Yeah, I don't want to hear
about your Dangerous Minds bullshit
577
00:37:20,821 --> 00:37:22,573
while I'm stuck making the world worse
578
00:37:22,657 --> 00:37:25,326
at the horror version
of Coming to America.
579
00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:27,870
Well, at least we're
canceling each other out.
580
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,497
Ha-ha-ha.
581
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:32,166
Why don't you do good
and go make me some dinner?
582
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,794
I did get you a gift at the market.
583
00:37:34,877 --> 00:37:37,004
Better not be another succulent.
584
00:37:37,797 --> 00:37:40,424
"Two can hate each other and still live."
585
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,635
If I learned anything from Love Island,
586
00:37:42,718 --> 00:37:45,179
it's that three
will tear each other apart.
587
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,479
Unless you're planning
on incorporating this
588
00:37:53,562 --> 00:37:57,358
into a deceptively low-carb carbonara,
not interested.
589
00:37:59,402 --> 00:38:00,778
They're not for eating.
590
00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:03,948
- They're for my balls.
- Jesus, Joe.
591
00:38:04,031 --> 00:38:06,450
I am not kinking the way you're kinking.
592
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:07,994
They're not for that, either.
593
00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:13,165
The doctor said I'm gonna need them
to ice my boys after the surgery.
594
00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:19,463
What happened to taking your balls
and staying home?
595
00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:22,842
During the class
you won't let me talk about,
596
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:28,264
I had a realization
that maybe I do have something
597
00:38:28,347 --> 00:38:30,391
to contribute to the next generation.
598
00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:36,272
I still don't want to hear about your day,
but I'm glad.
599
00:38:36,355 --> 00:38:37,732
The appointment's next week.
600
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:41,402
Doctor said I'd be healed and doing yoga,
if I did that kind of thing.
601
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,045
- Yeah.
- But I'll need you to drive me.
602
00:38:43,070 --> 00:38:44,155
Shh. Wait.
603
00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:48,326
Oh, my God. Uh, why are
none of these women going for the doctor?
604
00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:51,078
...Alex has seen
some pretty nasty injuries.
605
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,331
But every doctor knows
nothing hurts more...
606
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:54,540
It's important to note
607
00:38:54,623 --> 00:38:57,918
that while the inmates with
the most complex mental health needs
608
00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:03,007
will be in great hands at a few select
federal psychiatric facilities,
609
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:06,093
it will also give our inmates
with less severe issues
610
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:10,598
a chance to integrate into gen pop
and, hopefully, society.
611
00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:12,516
So you're their advocate?
612
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:14,977
I am trying to be.
613
00:39:15,061 --> 00:39:19,482
I'm trying to help these women
regain a sense of dignity.
614
00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:22,818
It's very important they see themselves
as more than inmates.
615
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:28,407
They're someone's mother,
someone's daughter, sister, friend.
616
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:31,952
And... And people are interested in hearing
what is going to happen to them.
617
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:34,413
Can you tell me more
about your integration plan?
618
00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:36,957
Right. Uh...
619
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:42,630
You know, I'm glad you brought this up.
620
00:39:42,713 --> 00:39:46,759
This isn't about
hypothetical future plans,
621
00:39:46,842 --> 00:39:52,139
it's about the plans we have put in place
for our inmates currently.
622
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,683
And I would love to talk to you more
623
00:39:54,767 --> 00:39:59,105
about the new rehabilitative programs
we've started.
624
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,733
Studies have shown
that these give our inmates
625
00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:05,486
the best chance of success on the outside.
626
00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:09,907
Now, are these programs something
Psych inmates can integrate into?
627
00:40:10,449 --> 00:40:14,995
They should really have their own programs
specifically tailored to their needs.
628
00:40:15,287 --> 00:40:16,831
Which are?
629
00:40:18,457 --> 00:40:23,045
Uh, we're still looking into those,
630
00:40:23,462 --> 00:40:26,674
uh, dis... discussing what's possible.
631
00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:29,427
Well, I'm sure whatever you come up with
will be amazing.
632
00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:32,388
Especially since you'll have
$2.5 million to spend a year.
633
00:40:34,056 --> 00:40:36,183
That's a specific number.
634
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:39,937
It's what PolyCon is saving a year
by closing down the Psychiatric wing.
635
00:40:42,189 --> 00:40:44,942
Right, of course.
636
00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:47,445
Is that not what PolyCon is doing
with the money?
637
00:40:49,655 --> 00:40:50,781
It is.
638
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:54,827
We're putting it back into the prison,
639
00:40:54,910 --> 00:40:58,372
and it will allow us to have
640
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:04,378
an array of exciting motivational courses
available to all our inmates.
641
00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:08,007
And it will include the new programs
642
00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:14,013
and more guards specifically trained
for our neurodiverse inmates.
643
00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:18,017
An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison
644
00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:19,852
is attempting to contact you.
645
00:41:19,935 --> 00:41:21,896
Accept. What up?
646
00:41:21,979 --> 00:41:25,858
Hey, girl!
Ooh, I was hoping you'd pick up first.
647
00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:27,275
How's school?
648
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,653
Yeah, girl.
649
00:41:30,112 --> 00:41:32,031
You girl Well, all right, girl...
650
00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:35,993
Her.
651
00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:39,205
Give me the phone.
652
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:42,041
You know he married an African princess
when he did the peace corps?
653
00:41:42,374 --> 00:41:46,253
Mr. Viktora died last year.
I think it was E. coli or something.
654
00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:49,340
- Or maybe he was old. I don't know.
- Give me the phone.
655
00:41:49,423 --> 00:41:51,008
One second.
Hmm.
656
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,762
Okay. But you still liking math?
657
00:41:54,845 --> 00:41:56,639
Since when are you interested in math?
658
00:41:56,722 --> 00:41:59,558
Since now. School's important.
659
00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:03,646
Boring. Look, I got some GloZell
to catch up on. Bye, girl.
660
00:42:03,729 --> 00:42:06,089
Wait. You still like watching
Suite Life with Zack and Cody?
661
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,776
She stopped watching that a while ago.
662
00:42:10,444 --> 00:42:12,613
Hey, Ma. Um...
663
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:15,491
You got time for me to read you something?
664
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,160
I'm on my way out.
Can you read it to me next week?
665
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:19,954
I won't be so crazy then.
666
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:22,831
Well, next week I'm getting out.
667
00:42:29,255 --> 00:42:33,050
I'm sorry for everything
I've done to you, Ma.
668
00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:37,137
And... And I know I got a long way to go
to get you to trust me again,
669
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:43,227
but can I stay with you guys?
670
00:42:49,066 --> 00:42:52,903
If you were to live with us,
there'd have to be some rules.
671
00:42:53,487 --> 00:42:57,199
This is a sensitive time in Monica's life
672
00:42:57,283 --> 00:43:01,412
and I don't want you coming in here
all Hurricane Cindy like you do.
673
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,373
Yes, of course. Of course, Ma.
674
00:43:04,456 --> 00:43:08,085
I will live by whatever rules
you need me to.
675
00:43:08,168 --> 00:43:10,921
- You won't get a pass this time.
- Understood.
676
00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:15,050
I'm trying to change, Ma.
677
00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:18,304
I want you to be proud of me.
678
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,894
Well, we'll see how things go, then.
679
00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,816
Now, how do we come and get you?
680
00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:38,574
Come on! Come on! Come on!
681
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:04,850
Don't make me laugh!
682
00:44:57,736 --> 00:44:59,363
You move like a snail.
683
00:44:59,446 --> 00:45:01,699
It is a miracle
we haven't been caught yet.
684
00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:06,537
I tried something new today.
685
00:45:08,747 --> 00:45:12,710
Is that mine? Are you fucking
single white female
686
00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:15,796
No, uh... Here. Touch.
687
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:24,596
You have abs. Good for you.
Now, put that back where you found it.
688
00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:26,181
I wish I had abs.
689
00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:29,351
If I did, I'd enter a bikini contest
and win the prize money.
690
00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:33,480
These are chargers.
We can smuggle so many more in this way.
691
00:45:36,316 --> 00:45:37,443
Impressive.
692
00:45:39,111 --> 00:45:40,571
Will you help me take it off?
693
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:42,864
I can't...
694
00:45:58,922 --> 00:46:00,382
Where in Texas are you from?
695
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:03,051
Oh, that? No, um...
696
00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,846
When I was little,
we were studying Native Americans,
697
00:46:05,929 --> 00:46:10,350
and I learned that the Hasinai tribal word
"texas" means "Hello, friend."
698
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:12,519
It just stuck with me.
699
00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,313
Couldn't have gone with "aloha"?
700
00:46:15,397 --> 00:46:16,397
Your turn.
701
00:46:17,232 --> 00:46:19,860
I think I can manage my own bustier.
702
00:46:19,943 --> 00:46:23,489
It's tricky with the chargers.
It'll be faster if I do it.
703
00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:37,336
At least my tattoo isn't a cliché.
704
00:46:37,419 --> 00:46:40,672
Fuck you. That's my lucky star.
705
00:46:41,006 --> 00:46:42,174
I'm sure it is.
706
00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:55,978
There.
707
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,108
You're like a suicide bomber.
708
00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:03,612
I should get back.
709
00:47:07,115 --> 00:47:08,116
Bye.
710
00:47:19,461 --> 00:47:21,839
What's so important
you needed to tell me in person?
711
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:26,170
I want to read you a letter.
712
00:47:26,718 --> 00:47:28,905
You know how hard it is
to find somebody on short notice
713
00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:30,809
to take care of Pepa? Next time, mail it to me.
714
00:47:33,016 --> 00:47:34,376
This isn't easy for me, all right?
715
00:47:34,434 --> 00:47:36,812
So just let me read it
before I change my mind.
716
00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,869
"I want to apologize for a lot of things.
717
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,874
I'm sorry I didn't trust
how you were raising Pepa.
718
00:47:58,667 --> 00:48:01,128
You're the one out there
with her every day.
719
00:48:02,337 --> 00:48:05,090
The one who picked up the pieces
when I fucked up.
720
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:10,596
I made a lot of bad choices
the past few years,
721
00:48:10,679 --> 00:48:15,267
but the one thing I did right
was choosing you to be Pepa's daddy.
722
00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:24,526
I understand you got to move on
with your life.
723
00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:27,988
I've held you back long enough.
724
00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,199
What I'm trying to say is,
725
00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:34,453
I want what's good for you,
'cause that's what's good for Pepa."
726
00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:40,918
Thank you. I'm not done.
727
00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,757
I'm trusting you out there with her.
728
00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:51,386
So I need you to trust me
in here with her.
729
00:48:52,471 --> 00:48:54,431
I want you to start bringing her again.
730
00:48:55,474 --> 00:48:57,017
She should know who her mommy is.
731
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,740
You know I don't want her thinking
this place is an option for her.
732
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:01,688
Believe me, you bring her here
733
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,941
and I'll show her
how this is not an option.
734
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:07,027
She's gonna ask about me.
735
00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:10,405
So it's better to be ahead of it.
736
00:49:11,823 --> 00:49:12,824
Okay.
737
00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:17,579
But if she starts going down
the wrong road, we stop coming.
738
00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:20,457
We'll make those decisions together.
739
00:49:24,127 --> 00:49:25,379
I can do that.
740
00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:32,427
One more thing.
741
00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:36,640
I want to meet this new woman
that Pepa's spending her time with.
742
00:49:40,018 --> 00:49:41,019
What's her name?
743
00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:45,322
Her name's Maria. Are you fuckin' kidding me?
744
00:49:47,442 --> 00:49:50,654
Oh, fuck you, you fucking pussy.
745
00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:52,322
Who got voted off the island?
746
00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:58,495
Litvack denied my Imam request in an email
while I'm out of the office.
747
00:49:58,578 --> 00:49:59,579
Fucking coward.
748
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:02,374
He says, and I quote,
"We can't have women congregating
749
00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:04,751
and speaking in foreign languages."
750
00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:07,504
Those guys keep things
as hellish as possible
751
00:50:07,587 --> 00:50:10,549
so those women beg to be deported.
752
00:50:10,632 --> 00:50:13,969
I'm just another cog
in their shit machine.
753
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:17,597
Well, maybe it's time to take a step back.
754
00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:19,391
Reassess what you want.
755
00:50:20,892 --> 00:50:23,854
I've been much happier
since someone very wise
756
00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:27,190
told me I could make more of a difference
outside the system.
757
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:29,818
Refer to me as sexy, not wise.
758
00:50:29,901 --> 00:50:32,446
And, unlike you, I have no illusions
of making a difference.
759
00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:35,323
Now, be quiet,
so I can start watching episode 38.
760
00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:36,825
Time to go!
761
00:50:38,243 --> 00:50:40,871
All right. Let's wake up the troops!
762
00:50:44,207 --> 00:50:48,754
Did you post something
about my surgery on Facebook?
763
00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:52,257
According to Facebook,
I'm still happily married, so, no.
764
00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:56,094
Also, I haven't logged in
since the Russians took over.
765
00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:59,347
I'm getting a lot of love and support.
766
00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:00,431
Excuse me.
767
00:51:01,975 --> 00:51:03,977
That's weird.
768
00:51:35,634 --> 00:51:37,511
Mrs. Caputo, this is where we leave you.
769
00:51:37,594 --> 00:51:39,888
As if I would ever take your name.
Come.
770
00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:45,369
- Give me a second. Just a minute.
- Stop stalling! Come on! The sooner we do this, the sooner we get to babymaking.
771
00:51:55,362 --> 00:51:57,239
Be nice to the nice nurse.
772
00:52:02,327 --> 00:52:05,038
Hayes... Ugh. You ready?
773
00:52:09,334 --> 00:52:12,587
Well, it's been interesting
living with you.
774
00:52:13,421 --> 00:52:14,840
You leaving your stuff here?
775
00:52:15,215 --> 00:52:18,593
Yeah. I don't want to take this place
with me.
776
00:52:19,344 --> 00:52:22,180
Well, what am I supposed to do
with all that junk?
777
00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:27,853
Well, good luck to you.
Hope I never see you again.
778
00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:35,569
Hold up. Can you give me a minute?
779
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:39,322
You wanna stay in prison longer?
Knock yourself out.
780
00:52:42,367 --> 00:52:43,368
Oh!
781
00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:49,416
"Slams the body down."
782
00:52:57,757 --> 00:53:02,095
Uh... this is like Christmas gifts
and hide-and-seek
783
00:53:02,179 --> 00:53:05,182
and cooking soufflés and bathroom stalls.
No peeking.
784
00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:10,687
I'm gonna miss you, Suzanne. Oh.
785
00:53:15,358 --> 00:53:17,402
I'm gonna miss you, too.
786
00:53:18,945 --> 00:53:19,946
Mmm.
787
00:53:21,656 --> 00:53:22,656
Wait.
788
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:28,914
I'm leaving. Like leaving-leaving.
789
00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:31,666
No.
790
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:35,712
No, no, no.
791
00:53:35,795 --> 00:53:39,257
You... You... You can't go. You can't go.
792
00:53:39,341 --> 00:53:41,968
I'm not done writing.
793
00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:48,350
I mean, does canceled have one "L" or two?
And is it "affect" or "effect"?
794
00:53:48,433 --> 00:53:52,187
There's so many questions
and so little time to fix you and Taystee!
795
00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:53,521
You can't...
796
00:54:02,155 --> 00:54:03,406
Thank you.
797
00:54:08,161 --> 00:54:12,040
Thank you for always trying
to make things better.
798
00:54:13,583 --> 00:54:15,794
I got a lot to learn from you.
799
00:54:20,674 --> 00:54:22,592
I'm gonna write you letters.
800
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:30,934
I'mma call you to see how you're doing.
801
00:54:36,064 --> 00:54:37,107
"See"?
802
00:54:39,901 --> 00:54:41,820
But I won't see what you're doing.
803
00:54:43,238 --> 00:54:45,865
'Cause it's a phone.
804
00:54:52,372 --> 00:54:54,374
Oh. Oh.
805
00:54:59,421 --> 00:55:01,881
Will you send me pictures
of you doing fun stuff?
806
00:55:01,965 --> 00:55:06,136
Like riding a bicycle, or...
Do you ride bicycles?
807
00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:07,219
Yes.
808
00:55:08,638 --> 00:55:10,557
Or ice-skating when it's cold.
809
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:14,811
Or roller-skating when it's hot.
General movement with wheels.
810
00:55:15,270 --> 00:55:16,563
Oh, except for scooters.
811
00:55:16,646 --> 00:55:20,233
'Cause my dad says adults on scooters
look like idiots.
812
00:55:21,943 --> 00:55:26,156
But secretly,
I think they look kind of fun.
813
00:55:41,921 --> 00:55:44,799
- I heard Cindy got out today.
- I know.
814
00:55:46,176 --> 00:55:48,595
And you're okay with her
walking out there free like that?
815
00:55:50,055 --> 00:55:52,682
You shoulda let me messed up her face
when we had the chance.
816
00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:56,436
I thought about that.
But I'm pretty confident her life
817
00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:59,397
is gonna be what she deserves
on the outside.
818
00:56:05,153 --> 00:56:07,405
'Cause life likes to test you like that.
819
00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:14,245
♪ Inside you lives
Every song you never sung ♪
820
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:21,211
♪ Waiting for the preachers
Find a prayer ♪
821
00:56:24,130 --> 00:56:29,844
♪ We have a way
Of trying to pray forever ♪
822
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:36,893
You can choose
to do what's right,
823
00:56:36,976 --> 00:56:39,979
or you can choose to do
what you know is wrong.
824
00:56:40,063 --> 00:56:46,069
♪ I can't help but wonder
Why I listen to you... ♪
825
00:56:50,448 --> 00:56:52,659
And when you make a bad choice,
826
00:56:52,742 --> 00:56:56,496
living with what you've done
can be its own punishment.
827
00:56:56,579 --> 00:57:02,544
♪ But every person that I ever knew ♪
828
00:57:03,128 --> 00:57:05,296
'Cause you can be sure as shit
829
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:08,049
those skeletons will come back
to haunt you.
830
00:57:10,885 --> 00:57:11,970
Cindy!
831
00:57:13,513 --> 00:57:16,724
Yo!
832
00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:18,726
Sayonara, suckers!
833
00:57:18,810 --> 00:57:21,354
Y'all can kiss my black ass.
834
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:23,440
Kiss it, kiss it, kiss it, kiss it!
835
00:57:23,523 --> 00:57:28,027
Really, Cindy?
You have to scream profanity?
836
00:57:28,486 --> 00:57:29,696
Oh, my baby.
837
00:57:31,823 --> 00:57:33,366
Oh!
838
00:57:34,659 --> 00:57:36,035
Hey, girl.
839
00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:38,788
Come on,
bring it in, Monica. Look at you, girl.
840
00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:42,917
So big.
841
00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:46,838
Yo, is that what I think it is?
842
00:57:46,921 --> 00:57:48,882
Half orange, half Coke.
843
00:57:48,965 --> 00:57:53,052
Orange Coke! Thank you, Ma!
844
00:58:01,102 --> 00:58:05,315
♪ Oh, I wanna forgive it all ♪
845
00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:14,115
♪ Oh, I wanna live forever ♪
846
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:22,207
♪ Oh, I wanna forgive it all ♪
847
00:58:23,875 --> 00:58:30,840
♪ Oh, I wanna live forever ♪
848
00:58:35,553 --> 00:58:39,766
♪ I wanna sing forever ♪
849
00:58:41,976 --> 00:58:46,731
♪ I'm throwing stones at my home ♪
850
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:55,865
♪ I'm throwing stones at my home ♪
851
00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:04,165
♪ I'm throwing stones at my home ♪
67088
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