Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:22,928
Everything starts somewhere...
2
00:00:24,286 --> 00:00:26,855
...although many physicists disagree.
3
00:00:28,454 --> 00:00:32,518
There is the constant
desire to find out where.
4
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:37,212
Where is the point where it all began?
5
00:00:48,228 --> 00:00:51,743
But much, much later than that,
6
00:00:52,023 --> 00:00:55,140
the Discworld was formed.
7
00:01:05,578 --> 00:01:07,736
Drifting onwards through space
8
00:01:07,856 --> 00:01:11,710
atop four elephants on the
shell of a giant turtle,
9
00:01:12,002 --> 00:01:13,993
the great A'Tuin.
10
00:01:37,674 --> 00:01:39,853
It was some time after its creation
11
00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:43,644
when most people forgot that the
very oldest stories of the beginning
12
00:01:43,764 --> 00:01:48,313
are, sooner or later, about blood.
13
00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:52,649
At least, that's one theory.
14
00:01:54,126 --> 00:01:58,956
The philosopher Didactylos has
suggested an alternative hypothesis.
15
00:02:00,428 --> 00:02:03,181
"Things just happen. What the hell?"
16
00:02:08,477 --> 00:02:11,594
Our story began in Ankh-Morpork,
17
00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:16,909
the twin city of proud
Ankh and pestilent Morpork,
18
00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:19,623
the biggest city in Discworld,
19
00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:23,824
a city where magic is just another job
20
00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:29,213
and where the Tower of Art of
the Unseen University for Wizards
21
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:33,485
looms over all the dark,
narrow streets below.
22
00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:40,441
Our story continues in the middle
of the night before Hogswatch,
23
00:02:40,699 --> 00:02:43,521
a midwinter festival,
which, for some reason,
24
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:47,158
bears a remarkable
similarity to your Christmas,
25
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:52,033
that now takes us to
the Tooth Fairy's castle,
26
00:02:53,022 --> 00:02:58,292
where magic has made children's
teeth perilously powerful,
27
00:02:58,655 --> 00:03:03,729
so that our story is much
sooner rather than later
28
00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:07,086
about blood.
29
00:03:09,374 --> 00:03:10,957
Mr Teatime!
30
00:03:26,576 --> 00:03:28,478
There you are. I've unlocked it.
31
00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,236
And Banjo's opened it.
32
00:03:52,947 --> 00:03:57,353
I'm not telling you anything.
Who are you, anyway?
33
00:03:58,034 --> 00:04:01,198
I'm glad you asked. I'm
your worst nightmare.
34
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:06,452
Oh. You mean the one
with the giant cabbage
35
00:04:06,572 --> 00:04:08,952
and the, kind of, whirling-knife thing?
36
00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:11,594
Sorry, no. Not that one.
37
00:04:13,048 --> 00:04:15,660
I'm the one where this
man comes out of nowhere
38
00:04:15,952 --> 00:04:18,440
and kills you, stone dead.
39
00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:22,211
Oh, that one. But that's not...
40
00:04:27,273 --> 00:04:29,914
Rather a charitable act there, I feel.
41
00:04:32,996 --> 00:04:35,951
But it is nearly Hogswatch after all.
42
00:04:47,227 --> 00:04:48,540
Bring me the girl.
43
00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:57,445
Odd.
44
00:04:58,813 --> 00:05:01,125
Oh. It's a scythe job, then.
45
00:05:08,928 --> 00:05:11,758
They took the teeth. All of them.
46
00:05:12,595 --> 00:05:14,418
They just walked in
47
00:05:14,538 --> 00:05:18,912
and they... they...
No! Wait! Wait! Wait!
48
00:05:20,423 --> 00:05:24,131
- Where did he come from?
- A place I cannot go.
49
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,566
Well, even if you could go there,
50
00:05:28,686 --> 00:05:33,280
we've got our work cut out here
keeping the Hogfather's seat warm.
51
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,956
If what's happening in the Tooth
Fairy's castle isn't stopped,
52
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:43,229
then, everything we've been
doing is a waste of time.
53
00:05:45,955 --> 00:05:48,833
And if they get to the Tooth Fairy,
54
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:53,152
they will be able to
control all human belief.
55
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:01,658
Unless Susan gets there first.
56
00:06:08,444 --> 00:06:11,862
Yes, well, it's coming along
well. Very impressive. Well done.
57
00:06:31,213 --> 00:06:37,126
- I need your help, Mr Ridcully.
- You... You're...
58
00:06:37,868 --> 00:06:41,248
Yes. The scythe, the cloak, the
white horse, the granddaughter.
59
00:06:44,808 --> 00:06:46,366
I need you to wake him up.
60
00:06:50,862 --> 00:06:52,682
His name's Bilious.
61
00:06:54,571 --> 00:06:57,234
He's the Oh God of Hangovers.
62
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,593
Something nasty's happening tonight.
I'm hoping he can tell me what it is
63
00:07:04,713 --> 00:07:07,217
but he's got to be able
to think straight first.
64
00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:09,443
And you brought him here?
65
00:07:17,869 --> 00:07:18,840
Why are you doing this?
66
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,631
- I mean, I was a bit behind with the teeth, I know...
- Is she behind this door?
67
00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:23,484
I don't know. There was nearly $13
68
00:07:23,604 --> 00:07:25,070
- in pillow money owing, I admit.
- This her door?
69
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:26,892
But I signed the form G...
70
00:07:27,012 --> 00:07:29,660
Will you just shut up
and answer the question?
71
00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,635
I don't know. I've
never been here before.
72
00:07:33,582 --> 00:07:36,100
Then your boss probably doesn't realise
73
00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,631
how irritating you are.
74
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:42,532
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
75
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:45,258
Or Miss Bottler gets it.
76
00:07:45,378 --> 00:07:49,430
It was only a bit of loose change!
And I really, I was going to...
77
00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:52,715
10 Scrote...
78
00:07:56,482 --> 00:07:57,737
Have you got the list?
79
00:07:59,989 --> 00:08:03,631
This is really, really stupid.
80
00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:06,434
I think the tradition got started
81
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,382
when everybody had them
big chimbleys, master.
82
00:08:11,564 --> 00:08:14,889
Indeed. It's only a mercy it's unlit.
83
00:08:48,973 --> 00:08:50,936
The boy wants a pair of trousers
84
00:08:51,056 --> 00:08:52,972
that he doesn't have to share,
85
00:08:53,669 --> 00:08:55,831
a huge meat pie,
86
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,267
a sugar mouse,
87
00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:01,464
a lot of toys
88
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:05,474
and a puppy called Scruff.
89
00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:10,401
Aw, how sweet. I shall wipe away a tear.
90
00:09:11,011 --> 00:09:14,963
Cos what he's getting, you
see, is this little wooden toy
91
00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:18,600
- and an apple.
- But the letter clearly...
92
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,380
I know. It's the socioeconomic factors.
93
00:09:23,087 --> 00:09:26,031
I mean, the world would be in
a hell of a mess, wouldn't it,
94
00:09:26,151 --> 00:09:28,144
if everybody got what they asked for?
95
00:09:28,264 --> 00:09:30,676
I gave them what they
wanted in the store.
96
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:35,480
Yeah, well, what good is a god that gives
you everything that you want, eh?
97
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,654
- You have me there.
- Ah, yeah.
98
00:09:37,774 --> 00:09:41,156
No, it's the hope that's important.
99
00:09:45,772 --> 00:09:46,744
Oh, yes.
100
00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:51,627
It's a big part of belief, is the hope.
101
00:09:52,305 --> 00:09:55,688
I mean, say you give people jam today
102
00:09:55,808 --> 00:09:57,550
and they'll just sit there and eat it, won't they.
103
00:09:57,670 --> 00:10:01,878
But jam tomorrow? Ah, no.
That'll keep 'em going forever.
104
00:10:01,998 --> 00:10:04,722
And you mean that because of this,
105
00:10:05,136 --> 00:10:08,557
the poor get poor things
and the rich get rich things?
106
00:10:08,949 --> 00:10:12,857
Well, yeah. That's the meaning
of Hogswatch, innit, master?
107
00:10:13,164 --> 00:10:15,764
But I'm the Hogfather!
108
00:10:18,457 --> 00:10:20,716
At the moment, I mean.
109
00:10:20,992 --> 00:10:22,470
Well, it makes no difference.
110
00:10:24,408 --> 00:10:27,884
I remember when I was a nipper.
111
00:10:29,318 --> 00:10:31,452
It was one Hogswatch, it was...
112
00:10:33,081 --> 00:10:35,834
...and I had my heart set on this...
113
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,650
...huge model horse in this shop.
114
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,298
It was what I always wanted.
115
00:10:46,142 --> 00:10:50,986
Someone was in there, buying it,
and, do you know, just for a second,
116
00:10:51,106 --> 00:10:54,224
I thought it really
was going to be for me.
117
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,124
But it wasn't.
118
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:05,171
I spent hours with me nose
pressed up against the window,
119
00:11:06,662 --> 00:11:09,378
till someone heard me
calling and unfroze me.
120
00:11:12,657 --> 00:11:17,856
Yes, I would've killed for
that horse. But you know what?
121
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:23,801
I still hung up my
stocking on Hogswatch Eve.
122
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:28,531
And do you know why? Cos I had hope!
123
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:31,894
Yeah. And the next morning,
124
00:11:32,978 --> 00:11:39,736
our dad had put in my
stocking a little wooden horse
125
00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:43,233
that he had carved his very own self.
126
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:46,025
Ah, and that was worth more
127
00:11:46,145 --> 00:11:49,747
than all the expensive
toy horses in the world?
128
00:11:50,746 --> 00:11:53,734
No, cos you're a selfish little
bugger when you're only seven.
129
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,713
It's only grown-ups
that think like that.
130
00:11:57,962 --> 00:11:59,223
This is wrong.
131
00:12:00,256 --> 00:12:03,089
It is... unfair.
132
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:06,813
Well, that's life, innit, master, eh?
133
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,408
But I'm not.
134
00:12:11,592 --> 00:12:16,000
This is supposed to be
the season to be jolly.
135
00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:23,576
- Hmm.
- And other things ending in "olly".
136
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:52,828
Please.
137
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:55,578
Just take her out of vocal range.
138
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:02,842
Mr Brown.
139
00:13:04,005 --> 00:13:05,400
Your big moment.
140
00:13:08,869 --> 00:13:11,428
Break me out the real Tooth Fairy.
141
00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,028
Oh, come along, lad.
142
00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:24,970
If you're the Lecturer in Recent Runes,
143
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:28,226
can't you do something
more, well, magical?
144
00:13:28,346 --> 00:13:31,762
Well, Spold's Unstirring
Divisor would do it.
145
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:38,165
You would end up with a large
beaker filled with all the nastiness.
146
00:13:38,757 --> 00:13:42,757
It's not difficult at all, if
you don't mind the side effects.
147
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,267
Tell me about the side effects.
148
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,642
The main one is
that the rest of him
149
00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:52,187
would end up in a
somewhat larger beaker.
150
00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:57,033
- Alive?
- Well, broadly, yes.
151
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:02,469
Living tissue, certainly.
And definitely sober.
152
00:14:06,206 --> 00:14:10,480
Why don't we just mix
up absolutely everything
153
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,057
and see what happens?
154
00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,356
It's got to be worth a try.
155
00:14:29,044 --> 00:14:32,723
Ah. Thank you, my dear. A-ha!
156
00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:35,672
Is this going to take much longer?
We may not have much time.
157
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,681
Oh, you can't be too careful.
158
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:02,743
- What's that? -
Ssh. Wow-Wow sauce.
159
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:05,329
The hottest sauce in the universe.
160
00:15:05,702 --> 00:15:07,519
And it'll blow your head clean off.
161
00:15:09,022 --> 00:15:13,688
It's not safe to drink it if the sweat
is still condensing on the bottle.
162
00:15:19,099 --> 00:15:24,891
On the other hand, if it
is a kill-or-cure remedy,
163
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:29,565
then, we are, given the possibility
that the patient is immortal...
164
00:15:30,935 --> 00:15:32,651
...probably onto a winner.
165
00:15:49,232 --> 00:15:51,680
I wonder if it's gone critical yet.
166
00:16:15,122 --> 00:16:16,189
I don't know.
167
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:20,452
I wish you fellas would
show some backbone.
168
00:16:48,547 --> 00:16:50,733
Careful, Archchancellor!
169
00:16:51,156 --> 00:16:54,169
What you have there may
represent pure sobriety.
170
00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:58,889
I'll try it.
171
00:17:59,756 --> 00:18:02,426
You did say he was immortal, didn't you?
172
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:09,234
- And you mean... he just appeared?
- Yes!
173
00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:13,176
He has no memory of existing before
appearing at the Hogfather's castle.
174
00:18:13,296 --> 00:18:15,659
You mean, like this fellow?
175
00:18:16,093 --> 00:18:20,673
Don't be ridiculous. Gods and gnomes
don't appear en masse for no reason.
176
00:18:25,992 --> 00:18:27,680
Bring me, let's see,
177
00:18:28,745 --> 00:18:32,220
20 pints of lager, some pepper
vodka and bottle of coffee liqueur.
178
00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:37,770
I didn't have you sobered up
just so you could go on a binge.
179
00:18:38,457 --> 00:18:42,265
- You don't drink.
- I don't? Oh. Yeah.
180
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,819
- I need you to help me.
- Oh.
181
00:18:45,053 --> 00:18:47,328
I'm afraid I did it, didn't I?
182
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:51,452
I, erm, I said something
to young Stibbons
183
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:54,110
about drinking and hangovers, didn't I?
184
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:56,822
You mean you created it just like that?
185
00:18:56,942 --> 00:18:59,615
Oh, I find that very
hard to believe, Mustrum.
186
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:03,450
Good job nobody mentioned
the Hair Loss Fairy, then!
187
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:07,049
I am not losing my hair.
188
00:19:07,361 --> 00:19:09,960
It is just very finely spaced.
189
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,546
Yes, half on your head
and half on your hairbrush.
190
00:19:15,043 --> 00:19:17,611
For the last time, I am not...
191
00:19:21,224 --> 00:19:23,310
I wish I knew where
that was coming from.
192
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:28,238
We need a bigger brain for this.
193
00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:32,187
That thinking engine of
yours working, Ponder?
194
00:19:32,307 --> 00:19:34,732
Er, Hex is resting, Archchancellor.
195
00:19:37,561 --> 00:19:39,476
Can you hear me in there?
196
00:19:42,791 --> 00:19:45,473
You don't have to shout, Archchancellor.
197
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:51,540
What is that "ning-ning, ning-ning,
ning-ning" noise all about?
198
00:20:19,929 --> 00:20:21,708
It says, "Look at the Dean."
199
00:20:25,618 --> 00:20:27,054
"Look at the... Dean."
200
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:31,793
Is there a problem?
201
00:20:40,508 --> 00:20:43,944
- Are you the Hair Loss Fairy?
- Apparently.
202
00:20:44,207 --> 00:20:46,780
What have you been doing with my hair?
203
00:20:48,975 --> 00:20:53,442
Just a minute. Where exactly were
you before I found you in the snow?
204
00:20:53,831 --> 00:20:57,197
Anywhere where drink had been
consumed in beastly quantities
205
00:20:57,609 --> 00:20:59,476
sometime previously, you could say.
206
00:20:59,596 --> 00:21:00,307
A-ha...
207
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:04,819
- So you were an imminent vital force, aye?
- Oh, sounds great!
208
00:21:05,969 --> 00:21:07,050
What is that?
209
00:21:07,764 --> 00:21:11,003
So, when we joked about
the Hair Loss Fairy,
210
00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:13,644
it suddenly focused on the Dean's head.
211
00:21:18,002 --> 00:21:20,641
You're calling things into being.
212
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:25,161
I personally have always wondered
if there was an Eater of Socks.
213
00:21:25,472 --> 00:21:27,358
You know how there's always one missing?
214
00:21:38,061 --> 00:21:40,892
Ah! To the laundry!
215
00:21:44,866 --> 00:21:47,664
Tell me again who these people are.
216
00:21:48,197 --> 00:21:50,221
Some of the cleverest men in the world.
217
00:21:50,875 --> 00:21:52,923
And I'm sober, am I?
218
00:22:04,411 --> 00:22:06,668
What is that ridiculous
thing on your head?
219
00:22:06,788 --> 00:22:08,614
I don't know, sir!
220
00:22:13,773 --> 00:22:16,510
What? What is it? It says here...
221
00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:21,708
"If found, please return to
the Tooth Fairy's castle."
222
00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:25,500
Well, thank goodness the Tooth
Fairy already exists, hey?
223
00:22:25,785 --> 00:22:27,247
Tooth Fairy?
224
00:22:28,476 --> 00:22:31,914
Oh, you see her around a lot
these days. Or them, rather.
225
00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:33,655
It's a sort of franchise operation
226
00:22:33,775 --> 00:22:36,488
to collect children's
teeth in exchange for money.
227
00:22:36,608 --> 00:22:40,265
And she has a castle. She sounds great.
228
00:22:42,927 --> 00:22:46,625
Actually, I do remember one thing.
229
00:22:47,624 --> 00:22:50,106
When I appeared at
the Hogfather's house,
230
00:22:50,226 --> 00:22:54,278
there was this drunken
little fellow in a pointy hat.
231
00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:56,989
I thought it was just the drink talking,
232
00:22:57,109 --> 00:23:00,229
but he did mention
something about the...
233
00:23:00,349 --> 00:23:04,747
...permanent end of perpetual
servitude for the little helpers
234
00:23:04,867 --> 00:23:08,558
of all fantasy personifications!
235
00:23:09,937 --> 00:23:13,046
Including the Tooth Fairy.
236
00:23:16,367 --> 00:23:19,560
Up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
Where did you find this?
237
00:23:37,742 --> 00:23:38,795
Is he alright?
238
00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:42,776
I say,
239
00:23:43,910 --> 00:23:48,458
what is the geographical location
of the Tooth Fairy's castle?
240
00:23:48,787 --> 00:23:53,338
- Now I'm feeling normal, can I come with you?
- This is not a normal situation.
241
00:23:53,668 --> 00:23:55,470
Look, I think I'd better tell you.
242
00:23:56,260 --> 00:24:00,013
- My grandfather is Death.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
243
00:24:00,420 --> 00:24:04,893
Death. You know, death. The robes,
the scythe, the white horse, bones.
244
00:24:05,013 --> 00:24:08,188
Death. But at the moment,
he's acting rather strange.
245
00:24:08,308 --> 00:24:10,290
I just want to make sure I've got this clear.
246
00:24:10,410 --> 00:24:14,997
You think your grandfather is Death
and you think he's acting strange?
247
00:24:15,466 --> 00:24:19,424
Look, Death adopted my mother. He
then took on a human apprentice.
248
00:24:19,544 --> 00:24:21,834
They fell in love and I'm the result.
249
00:24:22,073 --> 00:24:23,426
This is fascinating.
250
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:27,370
Let's just say I picked up a few strange
genetic knacks along the way.
251
00:24:37,907 --> 00:24:41,027
- Now, that looks dangerous.
- I hope so.
252
00:24:50,394 --> 00:24:55,884
- Wait! I could help you!
- Would you be any good in a fight?
253
00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:59,101
Yes, I could be sick on people.
254
00:25:21,717 --> 00:25:23,260
Shoo! Shoo!
255
00:25:34,314 --> 00:25:35,810
Whoa!
256
00:25:40,244 --> 00:25:43,418
- There he is! Watch yourselves!
- We have to sort this out.
257
00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:46,799
We can't have creatures
popping into existence
258
00:25:46,919 --> 00:25:48,852
just because people
are talking about them.
259
00:25:51,661 --> 00:25:53,229
Unhygienic.
260
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,610
So, what is this implied creation, then?
261
00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:09,249
"Humans have always ascribed
262
00:26:09,518 --> 00:26:14,403
random, seasonal, natural
or inexplicable actions
263
00:26:14,523 --> 00:26:16,515
to human-shaped entities."
264
00:26:20,195 --> 00:26:25,031
"Such examples are the Hogfather,
the Tooth Fairy and Death."
265
00:26:25,743 --> 00:26:29,119
Well, that's all very well, but
I'm damn sure there's never been
266
00:26:29,239 --> 00:26:33,423
an Eater of Socks or
an Oh God of Hangovers.
267
00:26:33,543 --> 00:26:35,926
I think it works like this.
268
00:26:36,046 --> 00:26:39,043
What we're getting is the
personification of forces,
269
00:26:39,163 --> 00:26:42,296
- just like Hex said.
- A bit like the Hogfather?
270
00:26:43,117 --> 00:26:45,659
Wa..wa..wa..wa..when you're a kiddie, it's a
271
00:26:45,779 --> 00:26:49,579
it's as good an explanation as
any as where presents come from.
272
00:26:51,546 --> 00:26:53,924
But why is it happening now?
273
00:26:56,847 --> 00:27:00,514
"Beliefs causing new
creatures to appear."
274
00:27:01,403 --> 00:27:02,759
You could put it like that.
275
00:27:04,325 --> 00:27:07,902
"There's a finite quantity
of belief in the universe."
276
00:27:08,811 --> 00:27:12,259
Well, certainly people can
only believe in so many things.
277
00:27:14,103 --> 00:27:19,402
"It follows that if a major
focus of belief is removed,
278
00:27:20,528 --> 00:27:22,474
there will be spare belief."
279
00:27:22,594 --> 00:27:24,012
Alright, then....
280
00:27:25,097 --> 00:27:27,951
What are people not believing
in all of a sudden?
281
00:27:32,355 --> 00:27:34,630
"Out of cheese....... error."
282
00:27:34,857 --> 00:27:37,496
"Melon. Melon. Melon."
283
00:27:38,694 --> 00:27:40,794
"Redo from start."
284
00:27:43,530 --> 00:27:49,578
It's Hogswatch. I suppose the
Hogfather is around, isn't he?
285
00:27:52,816 --> 00:27:55,245
I like this job.
286
00:27:59,632 --> 00:28:01,461
Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
287
00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:04,300
Excuse me.
288
00:28:14,274 --> 00:28:17,396
Yes. This will show them.
289
00:28:25,407 --> 00:28:29,169
But Poor Little Match
Girl dying in the snow
290
00:28:29,289 --> 00:28:33,132
is all part of the spirit
of Hogswatch, master.
291
00:28:33,252 --> 00:28:35,925
You see, people hear
about it and they say,
292
00:28:36,045 --> 00:28:39,388
"We might be as poor
as a disabled banana
293
00:28:39,508 --> 00:28:42,580
and only can afford
to eat mud and boots,
294
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:46,419
but see how much better off we are
than the Poor Little Match Girl!"
295
00:28:46,539 --> 00:28:50,504
That makes them happy and
grateful for what they have got.
296
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:55,201
I know what the spirit
of Hogswatch is, Albert.
297
00:29:15,561 --> 00:29:17,915
You're not allowed to do that.
298
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:23,914
The Hogfather can. The
Hogfather gives presents.
299
00:29:25,090 --> 00:29:28,374
There's no better
present than a future.
300
00:29:44,714 --> 00:29:47,731
That's it. I've had
enough of this pixie lark.
301
00:29:54,321 --> 00:29:56,524
I'm waiting for the Hogfather.
302
00:29:58,682 --> 00:30:02,182
I'm in the dark, waiting
for the Hogfather.
303
00:30:03,629 --> 00:30:06,790
Me. A believer in natural philosophy.
304
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,714
I can find the square
root of 27.4 in my head.
305
00:30:16,506 --> 00:30:17,902
I shouldn't be doing this.
306
00:30:19,314 --> 00:30:21,312
It's not as if I've hung a stocking up.
307
00:30:22,898 --> 00:30:24,211
.... be some point if...
308
00:30:57,777 --> 00:31:00,668
Take her somewhere warm
and give her a good dinner.
309
00:31:01,531 --> 00:31:05,080
And I may well be checking up later.
310
00:31:08,738 --> 00:31:11,680
Looks like we've been chosen
to do a bit of charity.
311
00:31:12,501 --> 00:31:14,890
Well, I don't call it very charitable,
312
00:31:15,010 --> 00:31:18,437
just dumping someone
on people like this.
313
00:31:19,092 --> 00:31:23,142
I dunno. Some people wouldn't
know the real meaning of Hogswatch
314
00:31:23,262 --> 00:31:25,622
if it jumped up and
clocked 'em in the gob.
315
00:31:46,561 --> 00:31:47,423
No!
316
00:32:18,084 --> 00:32:20,049
This is a child's painting.
317
00:32:28,630 --> 00:32:29,986
Twyla paints like that.
318
00:32:36,249 --> 00:32:37,726
I painted like that.
319
00:32:38,588 --> 00:32:40,678
Grandfather saved some of my draw...
320
00:32:46,850 --> 00:32:48,554
Come on. Let's find the house.
321
00:32:50,321 --> 00:32:53,044
- What house?
- There's always a house.
322
00:32:57,915 --> 00:33:00,871
I was told you were the
best locksmith in the city.
323
00:33:01,994 --> 00:33:04,214
Yes, but locks don't generally alter themselves
324
00:33:04,334 --> 00:33:06,550
while you're working on
them, that's what I'm saying.
325
00:33:08,816 --> 00:33:11,621
Are you the best or not?
326
00:33:21,862 --> 00:33:23,668
No! Not the dark!
327
00:33:32,989 --> 00:33:33,797
Banjo.
328
00:33:35,709 --> 00:33:37,200
I'm getting out of here.
329
00:33:37,919 --> 00:33:39,725
There's something wrong with this place.
330
00:33:40,001 --> 00:33:42,392
I made a big pile.
331
00:33:43,676 --> 00:33:45,291
Do you want to come with me?
332
00:33:47,066 --> 00:33:48,544
It's pretty here.
333
00:33:55,979 --> 00:33:57,252
Mr Sideney.
334
00:34:15,150 --> 00:34:20,270
Would he deliver to apes
earlier than to humans?
335
00:34:21,282 --> 00:34:23,273
Interesting point, sir.
336
00:34:23,393 --> 00:34:26,143
Possibly you're referring to my theory
337
00:34:26,263 --> 00:34:30,249
that humans may have descended
from apes. A bold hypothesis,
338
00:34:30,369 --> 00:34:33,924
which, if the Grants Committee
could just see their way clear
339
00:34:34,044 --> 00:34:38,285
to letting me hire a boat and
sail around to the islands...
340
00:34:41,845 --> 00:34:46,432
I just thought he might
deliver alphabetically.
341
00:35:00,697 --> 00:35:02,847
Let me see, now.
342
00:35:10,624 --> 00:35:12,535
Who the hell are you?
343
00:35:13,158 --> 00:35:15,630
I'm the Hogfather, of course.
344
00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:17,871
Erm... ho, ho, ho.
345
00:35:18,493 --> 00:35:20,605
You look extremely thin in the face.
346
00:35:21,753 --> 00:35:25,837
I... I'm, er... I'm a bit ill.
347
00:35:26,141 --> 00:35:26,832
Oh.
348
00:35:29,930 --> 00:35:32,770
- Terminally, I would say.
- Yeah.
349
00:35:33,616 --> 00:35:35,647
A-ha! It's a false beard.
350
00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:39,135
- No, it's not.
- It's got hooks for the ears.
351
00:35:40,041 --> 00:35:42,715
That must've given you
a spot of trouble there.
352
00:35:47,907 --> 00:35:49,193
A pillow!
353
00:36:08,705 --> 00:36:10,491
I thought there were seven locks.
354
00:36:10,778 --> 00:36:13,911
Yeah, but they're half magic,
half real and half not there.
355
00:36:14,368 --> 00:36:16,680
Then there's parts of 'em
don't exist half the time.
356
00:36:17,173 --> 00:36:20,149
And I thought you could open
any lock anyone ever made.
357
00:36:21,490 --> 00:36:25,416
Made by humans and most dwarves.
I dunno what made these.
358
00:36:25,663 --> 00:36:28,153
You never said anything about magic...
359
00:36:30,164 --> 00:36:31,600
That's a shame.
360
00:36:32,293 --> 00:36:35,251
Then, really, I have no
more need of your services.
361
00:36:35,505 --> 00:36:38,224
- You may as well go back home.
- What about my money?
362
00:36:39,168 --> 00:36:42,740
Of course. You should
get what you deserve.
363
00:36:46,132 --> 00:36:48,566
You must think I was born
yesterday, Mr Tea Cup.
364
00:36:48,937 --> 00:36:51,756
I'm leaving, right, with what's coming
to me and you ain't stopping me.
365
00:36:52,208 --> 00:36:57,069
Banjo certainly ain't. I knew
his old ma in the good old days.
366
00:36:57,402 --> 00:37:00,872
You think you're nasty?
You think you're mean?
367
00:37:01,157 --> 00:37:04,483
Ma Lilywhite'd tear your ears
off and spit 'em in your eyes.
368
00:37:04,845 --> 00:37:06,268
Cocky little devil.
369
00:37:12,544 --> 00:37:15,217
I remember you when
you was little, Banjo.
370
00:37:15,537 --> 00:37:18,383
- I used to sit you on my knees.
- Banjo...
371
00:37:23,475 --> 00:37:24,559
There you are.
372
00:37:24,796 --> 00:37:26,733
Where's all these shadows coming from?
373
00:37:26,853 --> 00:37:29,243
It's giving me the creeps!
And it's all your fault.
374
00:37:29,363 --> 00:37:34,706
Oh, yeah? So it wasn't you who
said, "Wow. $10,000. Count me in!"
375
00:37:34,826 --> 00:37:38,765
Yeah, but I didn't know there was gonna
be all this creepy stuff! I wanna go home.
376
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,221
It's like dealing with a child!
377
00:38:01,921 --> 00:38:04,098
Poor guy must have slipped.
378
00:38:11,859 --> 00:38:13,871
Yeah. Slipped.
379
00:38:28,311 --> 00:38:30,613
That's the Tooth Fairy's castle?
380
00:39:06,788 --> 00:39:10,736
- It's teeth.
- And I should be scared?
381
00:39:11,918 --> 00:39:13,719
There's nothing that scary about teeth.
382
00:39:15,051 --> 00:39:19,282
Did I say I was scared?
I must just be hungover again.
383
00:39:28,143 --> 00:39:30,418
- Oh, no.
- They're only teeth.
384
00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:31,515
Oi!
385
00:39:34,536 --> 00:39:38,217
- Surely no one would try to...
- What is that?
386
00:39:40,115 --> 00:39:43,164
It's such old magic, it
isn't even magic any more.
387
00:39:43,994 --> 00:39:48,741
If you've got a piece of someone's
hair, nail clipping or tooth,
388
00:39:49,415 --> 00:39:50,973
you can control them.
389
00:39:52,419 --> 00:39:54,200
Don't tell me someone's...
390
00:39:55,696 --> 00:39:58,092
- What's that shadow?
- This place is alive.
391
00:40:08,144 --> 00:40:10,214
And it's protecting itself.
392
00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:19,057
So, what happened to the other fellow?
393
00:40:19,989 --> 00:40:21,271
Well...
394
00:40:24,038 --> 00:40:26,364
...the Hogfather has enemies.
395
00:40:27,877 --> 00:40:29,888
What did he do, miss a chimney?
396
00:40:39,952 --> 00:40:43,524
There's, er, there's people
down there, Mr Teatime.
397
00:40:43,931 --> 00:40:46,018
Well, just do away with them.
398
00:40:46,451 --> 00:40:49,952
Well, er, one of them's a girl.
399
00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:54,069
Then, do away with them... politely.
400
00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:57,709
Keep going. Quicker.
401
00:41:48,278 --> 00:41:49,564
It's after me!
402
00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:52,664
Let me out!
403
00:41:53,541 --> 00:41:57,129
- What was that?
- It's finding their nightmares.
404
00:42:06,420 --> 00:42:08,565
Let me out! It's after me!
405
00:42:08,685 --> 00:42:10,416
Pull yourself together.
406
00:42:11,314 --> 00:42:14,863
Look around. There's
nothing chasing you.
407
00:42:18,815 --> 00:42:22,509
I thought it was the... wardrobe.
408
00:42:25,579 --> 00:42:26,591
What wardrobe?
409
00:42:30,184 --> 00:42:31,443
When I was a kid,
410
00:42:32,038 --> 00:42:35,612
we had this big... wardrobe.
411
00:42:35,882 --> 00:42:38,094
And it had this... this...
412
00:42:39,348 --> 00:42:41,979
On the door, it had this face!
413
00:42:42,324 --> 00:42:43,720
And at night, it...
414
00:42:47,980 --> 00:42:49,416
...whispered things.
415
00:42:54,838 --> 00:42:56,370
Who's that moving up there?
416
00:42:58,432 --> 00:43:00,375
I think they saw us. And
if they're tooth fairies,
417
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:03,218
there's been a really stupid
equal-opportunities policy.
418
00:43:35,777 --> 00:43:38,911
Right. You go that
way, I'll go this way.
419
00:43:39,031 --> 00:43:42,863
- Why don't we stay together?
- What's got into you? Hmm?
420
00:43:52,895 --> 00:43:55,785
This is a children's place. The
rules are what children believe.
421
00:43:55,905 --> 00:43:58,029
- Well, that's a relief.
- You think so?
422
00:43:58,645 --> 00:43:59,961
It's impossible to die here.
423
00:44:00,081 --> 00:44:02,339
My grandfather doesn't
figure in a child's world.
424
00:44:02,459 --> 00:44:05,527
That man who fell down the
stairs looked pretty dead to me.
425
00:44:05,647 --> 00:44:09,370
Oh, you die. But not here.
You... Let's see. Yes.
426
00:44:09,578 --> 00:44:11,331
You go somewhere else. Away.
427
00:44:17,715 --> 00:44:19,111
- Aren't you Susan?
- Yes.
428
00:44:19,231 --> 00:44:22,130
And when you came for Twyla's last tooth,
you were so shocked that I could see you.
429
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:24,648
- Oh, yes, and I saw...
- Look, we may not have a lot of time.
430
00:44:26,046 --> 00:44:29,165
Is this... the Tooth Fairy?
431
00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:31,055
A tooth fairy.
432
00:44:34,544 --> 00:44:37,181
Do you... drink at all?
433
00:44:37,513 --> 00:44:38,717
No, I don't.
434
00:44:41,513 --> 00:44:44,232
Not touch alcohol at all?
435
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,781
Never. My dad's very strict
about that sort of thing.
436
00:44:52,850 --> 00:44:54,081
Nice castle.
437
00:44:56,954 --> 00:45:00,717
Can we get on? Good. Who
brought you here, Violet?
438
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:03,463
I don't know... Oh, but he's
dressed like an assassin!
439
00:45:03,583 --> 00:45:05,874
OK. You two stay here. I'll go find him.
440
00:45:05,994 --> 00:45:07,960
And I'll look after Violet.
441
00:45:23,258 --> 00:45:25,160
That's the fourth lock open.
442
00:45:26,446 --> 00:45:30,743
I commend your
expertise. And the others?
443
00:45:43,217 --> 00:45:48,950
Do you know exactly what's
in here, Mr Teh-ah-tim-eh?
444
00:45:49,946 --> 00:45:54,803
Logically, if you're the
guardian of children's beliefs
445
00:45:56,092 --> 00:45:57,939
and this is your castle
446
00:45:58,926 --> 00:46:02,805
and I come across as securely
locked a door as this...
447
00:46:04,407 --> 00:46:07,021
...then, not to thoroughly
investigate would...
448
00:46:09,782 --> 00:46:11,041
...lack elegance.
449
00:46:15,235 --> 00:46:16,712
What's that sound?
450
00:46:17,372 --> 00:46:19,766
- What sound?
- That sound.
451
00:46:20,228 --> 00:46:23,307
Like old scissors scraping.
452
00:46:26,476 --> 00:46:29,746
Have you ever heard of the Auditors?
453
00:46:32,293 --> 00:46:34,633
Well, I suppose that the
Bursar might have done.
454
00:46:35,369 --> 00:46:38,079
Not auditors of money.
455
00:46:38,643 --> 00:46:41,051
Auditors of reality.
456
00:46:41,596 --> 00:46:45,355
They are the civil
service of everything.
457
00:46:47,894 --> 00:46:49,878
And they want to get rid of us?
458
00:46:50,924 --> 00:46:55,631
They want humans to be... less creative.
459
00:46:56,672 --> 00:46:59,340
The Hogfather is a symbol of this.
460
00:47:03,583 --> 00:47:05,194
Strange thinking.
461
00:47:07,164 --> 00:47:10,918
They hate the way humans make
up stories about the universe.
462
00:47:11,211 --> 00:47:12,621
I can't think why.
463
00:47:14,005 --> 00:47:16,883
And you, why are you doing this job?
464
00:47:17,133 --> 00:47:18,396
Someone must.
465
00:47:19,359 --> 00:47:21,466
It is vitally important.
466
00:47:22,104 --> 00:47:26,731
Before dawn, there must be
enough belief in the Hogfather.
467
00:47:29,530 --> 00:47:33,154
- Why?
- So that the sun will come up.
468
00:47:35,623 --> 00:47:37,429
I seldom joke.
469
00:47:39,031 --> 00:47:41,386
What sort of godding do you do?
470
00:47:41,617 --> 00:47:45,989
Oh, I'm the, er, I'm
the Oh God of Hangovers.
471
00:47:46,109 --> 00:47:49,119
- A god of hangovers? Oh, how awful.
- I suppose so.
472
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,100
You're more cut out to be
one of those important gods.
473
00:47:52,220 --> 00:47:56,178
- Oh!
- What's this, eh? Lovers' Lane?
474
00:47:56,298 --> 00:47:58,532
You leave him alone, you! He's a god!
475
00:48:00,589 --> 00:48:03,517
Dear me! Out of
thunderbolts, are we?
476
00:48:04,833 --> 00:48:07,378
Well, you know, I've never killed a g...
477
00:48:23,559 --> 00:48:25,121
What's the matter?
478
00:48:25,241 --> 00:48:27,240
It's just a wardrobe, innit?
479
00:48:45,487 --> 00:48:48,421
I don't want to see!
I don't want to see.
480
00:49:04,305 --> 00:49:06,166
Hex was right, Archchancellor.
481
00:49:08,017 --> 00:49:10,652
Hex? Who is Hex?
482
00:49:11,419 --> 00:49:16,564
Erm, he's the biggest
thinker in the world.
483
00:49:17,619 --> 00:49:21,027
I would like to meet this Mr Hex.
484
00:49:42,285 --> 00:49:47,359
Quite a large thaumic
reading, gentlemen.
485
00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:51,503
I think he got here by magic.
486
00:49:52,746 --> 00:49:54,904
Where did he go?
487
00:49:58,802 --> 00:50:02,681
They say you are the
biggest thinker in the world,
488
00:50:03,221 --> 00:50:05,971
but do you also believe?
489
00:50:11,969 --> 00:50:15,130
Extend logically the
result of the human race
490
00:50:15,250 --> 00:50:18,264
ceasing to believe in the Hogfather.
491
00:50:19,073 --> 00:50:22,907
Will the sun come up? Answer.
492
00:50:41,012 --> 00:50:45,579
Correct. How may this be prevented?
493
00:50:46,067 --> 00:50:47,066
Answer.
494
00:50:50,405 --> 00:50:54,759
"Regular and consistent belief."
495
00:50:58,149 --> 00:51:03,669
Good. I have a task for
you, thinking engine.
496
00:51:04,913 --> 00:51:07,279
Believe in the Hogfather.
497
00:51:11,850 --> 00:51:14,532
Do you believe? Answer.
498
00:51:18,990 --> 00:51:21,398
Do you believe?
499
00:51:22,178 --> 00:51:23,136
Answer!
500
00:51:40,420 --> 00:51:41,214
Good.
501
00:52:02,958 --> 00:52:03,875
Hmm.
502
00:52:08,521 --> 00:52:11,081
Oh, no!
503
00:52:18,997 --> 00:52:20,283
Let me see.
504
00:52:22,528 --> 00:52:24,312
How old are you?
505
00:52:26,994 --> 00:52:30,689
And have you been naughty or nice?
506
00:52:56,836 --> 00:52:57,547
Hello.
507
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,592
Well, well, well. What have we here?
508
00:53:02,496 --> 00:53:07,848
Bone handle. Rather tasteless
skull-and-bone decoration.
509
00:53:08,697 --> 00:53:11,789
Death himself's
second-favourite weapon.
510
00:53:13,054 --> 00:53:14,231
Am I right?
511
00:53:16,072 --> 00:53:19,328
Oh, my. It must be Hogswatch.
512
00:53:20,272 --> 00:53:23,786
This must mean that you are Susan.
513
00:53:24,711 --> 00:53:26,846
The famous granddaughter.
514
00:53:27,467 --> 00:53:30,823
Nobility. I'd bow,
515
00:53:31,645 --> 00:53:36,056
but I'm afraid you'd
do something dreadful.
516
00:53:40,026 --> 00:53:41,777
Yes! Yes!
517
00:53:42,328 --> 00:53:45,379
Left-handed using a wooden
pick. It's so simple!
518
00:53:46,509 --> 00:53:51,447
Ah! Mr Teh-ah-tim-eh, I've managed
to open the fifth lock. No problem.
519
00:53:51,796 --> 00:53:55,903
They're just based on
Woddeley's Occult Sequence.
520
00:53:59,346 --> 00:54:02,177
- How do you know who I am?
- Easy.
521
00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:04,718
Twurp's Peerage.
522
00:54:05,115 --> 00:54:08,686
Family motto, non timetis messor.
523
00:54:09,905 --> 00:54:14,284
Your father was well known.
Went a long way very fast.
524
00:54:15,877 --> 00:54:19,298
As for your grandfather, honestly,
525
00:54:20,334 --> 00:54:24,030
that motto, "fear not the reaper",
526
00:54:24,922 --> 00:54:26,496
is that good taste?
527
00:54:27,909 --> 00:54:31,462
Course, you don't need
to fear him, do you?
528
00:54:33,362 --> 00:54:34,525
Or do you?
529
00:54:36,885 --> 00:54:40,719
I don't know what you're talking
about. Who are you, anyway?
530
00:54:43,260 --> 00:54:46,667
I beg your pardon. My
name's Teh-ah-tim-eh.
531
00:54:47,071 --> 00:54:50,629
Jonathan Teh-ah-tim-eh
at your service.
532
00:54:51,797 --> 00:54:55,548
You mean... like around four
o'clock in the afternoon?
533
00:54:56,603 --> 00:54:57,300
No.
534
00:54:57,843 --> 00:55:02,167
I did say...
Teh-ah-tim-eh.
535
00:55:03,014 --> 00:55:07,041
Please don't try to break my
concentration by annoying me.
536
00:55:09,763 --> 00:55:12,255
- How are you getting on, Mr Sideney?
- Oh! Er...
537
00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:14,746
It's just according to
Woddeley's Sequence,
538
00:55:14,866 --> 00:55:17,685
number six should be
copper and blue-green light.
539
00:55:19,888 --> 00:55:22,686
Do you think your grandfather
will try to rescue you?
540
00:55:23,645 --> 00:55:25,233
But now I have his sword.
541
00:55:25,852 --> 00:55:28,572
You see, I wonder...
542
00:55:31,859 --> 00:55:33,943
All fingers and thumbs, Mr Sideney.
543
00:55:34,278 --> 00:55:39,147
Er, I've managed to open the
sixth lock, Mr Teh-ah-tim-eh.
544
00:55:40,653 --> 00:55:44,457
Really? But it may not
be all-important now.
545
00:55:45,528 --> 00:55:50,284
Thank you, anyway.
You've been most helpful.
546
00:55:51,150 --> 00:55:54,860
- Erm...
- Yes. You may go.
547
00:55:58,575 --> 00:56:03,098
Is that all you're here for?
A robbery, like a petty thief?
548
00:56:04,051 --> 00:56:05,050
A thief?
549
00:56:05,983 --> 00:56:06,791
Me?
550
00:56:07,851 --> 00:56:10,806
I'm not a thief, madam. No.
551
00:56:14,436 --> 00:56:16,246
These gentlemen are thieves.
552
00:56:17,952 --> 00:56:19,417
That's Medium Dave.
553
00:56:20,484 --> 00:56:23,125
And Exhibit B is Banjo.
554
00:56:25,465 --> 00:56:26,464
He can talk.
555
00:56:28,539 --> 00:56:30,551
Oh! Who are you?
556
00:56:31,128 --> 00:56:32,644
I'm incognito.
557
00:56:33,475 --> 00:56:35,856
You look like a wizard to me.
558
00:56:46,063 --> 00:56:48,375
Did you suck your thumb
when you were little?
559
00:56:48,774 --> 00:56:49,595
Nope!
560
00:56:52,886 --> 00:56:56,944
- Is that the Scissor Man?
- Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
561
00:57:00,137 --> 00:57:03,663
Kids believe all kinds of crap,
but I'm a grown-up now, so...
562
00:57:09,678 --> 00:57:14,070
No more Hogfather. And
that's only the start.
563
00:57:14,998 --> 00:57:18,911
I'll be able to make people
believe anything I want.
564
00:57:19,469 --> 00:57:20,549
What's this?
565
00:57:21,621 --> 00:57:24,002
You said, "No more Hogfather."
566
00:57:27,690 --> 00:57:30,922
He does know what we've
been doing here, doesn't he?
567
00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:32,963
You did tell him?
568
00:57:33,778 --> 00:57:37,948
There's gotta be a Hogfather.
There's always a Hogfather.
569
00:57:40,497 --> 00:57:44,330
- She did it! She killed him.
- No, I didn't. He...
570
00:57:44,525 --> 00:57:46,021
- Did!
- Didn't.
571
00:57:46,141 --> 00:57:48,789
- Did.
- What's this about the Hogfather?
572
00:57:49,077 --> 00:57:52,312
I don't think he's dead, but
Teatime has made him very ill.
573
00:57:52,432 --> 00:57:55,341
Who cares? When this is over, Banjo,
574
00:57:55,988 --> 00:57:59,380
you'll have as many presents
as you want. Trust me.
575
00:57:59,574 --> 00:58:02,591
There has to be a Hogfather,
else there's no Hogswatch.
576
00:58:02,933 --> 00:58:08,215
- It's just another solar festival.
- Banjo and me are going.
577
00:58:08,969 --> 00:58:11,788
Banjo, you're coming with me right now.
578
00:58:12,786 --> 00:58:15,981
Grab her, Banjo. It's all her fault.
579
00:58:20,082 --> 00:58:22,275
Our mam said no hitting girls.
580
00:58:22,965 --> 00:58:25,702
No touching them or pulling them hair.
581
00:58:26,413 --> 00:58:29,314
She's not a girl. She's a freak.
582
00:58:32,506 --> 00:58:34,442
I think I know you, Teatime.
583
00:58:34,917 --> 00:58:37,318
You're the mad kid they're
all scared of, right?
584
00:58:38,845 --> 00:58:42,870
- Banjo, I said grab her.
- Our mam said...
585
00:58:42,990 --> 00:58:44,443
The kid who didn't know the difference
586
00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:47,235
between chucking a stone at
a cat and setting it on fire.
587
00:58:47,355 --> 00:58:50,615
I said shut up. Get her, Banjo.
588
00:58:50,735 --> 00:58:54,407
The kind of little boy who
looks up dolls' dresses.
589
00:58:55,988 --> 00:58:58,343
- I didn't.
- Our mam said...
590
00:58:58,463 --> 00:59:00,929
Ah, to blazes with your mam!
591
00:59:01,383 --> 00:59:03,071
What did you say about our mam?
592
00:59:03,543 --> 00:59:05,483
I bet no one wanted to play with you.
593
00:59:05,603 --> 00:59:10,576
- Not the kid with no friends.
- Banjo, you do as I tell you.
594
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,009
Our mam... Our mam...
595
00:59:13,677 --> 00:59:15,100
Our mam said...
596
00:59:19,804 --> 00:59:23,922
Have you been a bad boy, Banjo?
597
00:59:27,501 --> 00:59:30,988
You been letting him get
into trouble again, our Davey?
598
00:59:31,275 --> 00:59:33,630
You have, haven't ya?
599
00:59:35,020 --> 00:59:37,127
No, Mam. No, Mam!
600
00:59:38,699 --> 00:59:41,546
You need a good hiding, Banjo.
601
00:59:42,279 --> 00:59:44,323
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry, Mam!
602
00:59:45,353 --> 00:59:49,052
You been playing with girls again?
603
00:59:49,172 --> 00:59:51,565
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry, Mam!
604
00:59:51,685 --> 00:59:53,674
Sorry, Mam! Sorry!
605
00:59:58,590 --> 01:00:00,187
No, Mam. No, Mam!
606
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:02,298
No!... No!
607
01:00:07,664 --> 01:00:10,250
Oh, no. I don't think so.
608
01:00:10,775 --> 01:00:15,087
This place gets into
your head, doesn't it?
609
01:00:16,711 --> 01:00:20,178
It... finds out how to deal with you.
610
01:00:24,805 --> 01:00:27,282
But I'm in touch with my inner child.
611
01:00:30,812 --> 01:00:32,235
It's so much fun.
612
01:00:37,397 --> 01:00:40,867
No pulling girls' hair. That's bad.
613
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:49,275
I'm gonna have so much
fun with this. So light.
614
01:00:49,395 --> 01:00:52,371
You wouldn't dare use it!
My grandfather will come after you.
615
01:00:52,491 --> 01:00:55,329
- He comes after everyone.
- He's very single-minded.
616
01:00:55,449 --> 01:00:56,772
I'll be ready for him.
617
01:01:10,381 --> 01:01:12,188
It doesn't work here.
618
01:01:14,569 --> 01:01:16,225
There's no death here.
619
01:01:18,136 --> 01:01:20,206
Hi, inner child.
620
01:01:20,831 --> 01:01:22,979
I'm the inner baby-sitter.
621
01:01:42,260 --> 01:01:44,312
Happy Hogswatch!
622
01:02:06,334 --> 01:02:08,905
Is.. is.. he dead?
623
01:02:12,569 --> 01:02:14,287
He's not breathing.
624
01:02:14,719 --> 01:02:16,211
Breathing spell.
625
01:02:16,948 --> 01:02:18,666
Breathing spell.
626
01:02:21,063 --> 01:02:25,684
Spolt's forthright respirator, perhaps.
627
01:02:26,139 --> 01:02:29,382
I think I've got it
written down somewhere.
628
01:02:30,085 --> 01:02:32,889
Come on, chaps. Give me some space.
629
01:02:39,528 --> 01:02:43,332
Excuse me... excuse me, but
this is vitally important
630
01:02:43,452 --> 01:02:45,599
for the advancement
of natural philosophy.
631
01:02:45,719 --> 01:02:48,940
Did you see any bright lights?
Was there a shining tunnel?
632
01:02:49,060 --> 01:02:53,135
What is all this, Mr Stibbons?
Put the damn quill away.
633
01:02:53,655 --> 01:02:56,501
This must be the Unseen University.
634
01:03:00,118 --> 01:03:03,349
And you're all... wizards.
635
01:03:05,123 --> 01:03:06,307
There was a sword.
636
01:03:07,237 --> 01:03:11,146
Oh, yes. It's, er, fallen on the floor.
637
01:03:20,402 --> 01:03:21,729
Did I do that?
638
01:03:24,946 --> 01:03:26,478
I really must be off.
639
01:03:28,550 --> 01:03:32,157
Well, he won't get far.
The main doors are locked,
640
01:03:32,277 --> 01:03:35,155
in accordance with
Archchancellor Spold's rules.
641
01:03:35,628 --> 01:03:37,653
- Won't get far?
- No!
642
01:03:38,241 --> 01:03:42,996
While holding a sword which appears
to be able to cut through anything?
643
01:04:02,517 --> 01:04:05,390
You can get into trouble, hitting girls.
644
01:04:06,341 --> 01:04:08,407
No playing with girls.
645
01:04:16,670 --> 01:04:18,463
What am I gonna do now?
646
01:05:40,371 --> 01:05:42,465
Hello, my dear.
647
01:05:44,711 --> 01:05:45,724
No.
648
01:05:47,722 --> 01:05:49,131
Sorry, dear?
649
01:05:51,589 --> 01:05:53,944
You're not the Tooth Fairy.
650
01:05:56,301 --> 01:05:58,476
Oh, I am, dear.
651
01:05:59,138 --> 01:06:01,879
Oh, Grandma, what big teeth you have.
652
01:06:02,601 --> 01:06:04,557
You've even got a shawl.
653
01:06:05,291 --> 01:06:06,591
Oh, dear.
654
01:06:08,977 --> 01:06:11,865
I don't understand, lovey.
655
01:06:13,522 --> 01:06:15,301
You forgot the rocking chair.
656
01:06:16,288 --> 01:06:18,710
I always thought there'd
be a rocking chair.
657
01:06:24,156 --> 01:06:25,716
I don't think you're real.
658
01:06:27,251 --> 01:06:30,800
It's not a little old woman
in a shawl running this place.
659
01:06:34,220 --> 01:06:38,731
You're out of my head. That's
how you defend yourself.
660
01:06:38,851 --> 01:06:42,574
You poke around in people's heads
and find the things that work...
661
01:06:43,387 --> 01:06:46,730
No. It's horrible, but
it doesn't frighten me.
662
01:06:50,192 --> 01:06:51,396
I like spiders.
663
01:06:52,736 --> 01:06:54,294
Dogs? No.
664
01:06:57,902 --> 01:07:00,100
I like rats. Rats are fine.
665
01:07:02,516 --> 01:07:04,815
Sorry, is anyone frightened of that?
666
01:07:08,363 --> 01:07:10,781
I... I...
667
01:07:11,005 --> 01:07:13,599
You're a bogeyman, aren't you?
668
01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,949
Not a. The!
669
01:07:20,556 --> 01:07:21,946
The first bogeyman.
670
01:07:25,103 --> 01:07:28,459
- You look terrible.
- Thank you very much.
671
01:07:28,579 --> 01:07:29,799
I mean ill.
672
01:07:31,959 --> 01:07:36,434
I used to jump out on
them and say, "Boo!" Yeah.
673
01:07:37,033 --> 01:07:38,927
But then I got to like 'em.
674
01:07:40,191 --> 01:07:43,283
Only children were frightened of me.
675
01:07:44,187 --> 01:07:47,033
I mean, what's to be scared of?
676
01:07:47,512 --> 01:07:50,864
Horns, bony arms.
677
01:07:52,584 --> 01:07:57,414
But then I discovered that there
were much worse things than me
678
01:07:58,335 --> 01:08:01,387
and I wanted to protect the children,
679
01:08:01,739 --> 01:08:06,665
keep them safe from all
the really bad things.
680
01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:12,202
So I built all this
681
01:08:12,322 --> 01:08:14,591
to be a safe place.
682
01:08:16,027 --> 01:08:17,177
And the teeth?
683
01:08:18,022 --> 01:08:21,249
If you leave all those teeth around,
684
01:08:21,369 --> 01:08:24,995
- anything could happen.
- Anything nearly did.
685
01:08:28,072 --> 01:08:31,575
So, you are the Tooth Fairy, then?
686
01:08:32,748 --> 01:08:33,802
Yes!
687
01:08:34,923 --> 01:08:36,975
I... ah..
688
01:08:37,751 --> 01:08:38,490
Oh...
689
01:08:39,079 --> 01:08:41,815
Then.. they came,
690
01:08:42,517 --> 01:08:44,077
stealing.
691
01:08:46,154 --> 01:08:51,713
I'm too weak to look
after them any more.
692
01:08:56,407 --> 01:08:59,365
You don't die here.
693
01:09:01,201 --> 01:09:03,000
Just get old.
694
01:09:04,825 --> 01:09:08,054
Listening to the laughter.
695
01:09:14,718 --> 01:09:16,393
Don't worry about the teeth.
696
01:09:17,251 --> 01:09:19,424
I'll make them safe again.
697
01:10:01,141 --> 01:10:03,774
I think it would be a good idea
698
01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:06,870
if you did the Tooth Fairy's job, Banjo.
699
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:13,245
Do... Do you think that'd be
alright? Won't the Tooth Fairy mind?
700
01:10:13,571 --> 01:10:18,008
You... do it until she comes back.
701
01:10:19,498 --> 01:10:22,056
So.... who's gonna tell me what to do?
702
01:10:23,452 --> 01:10:26,722
No one's ever going to tell
you what to do again, Banjo.
703
01:10:28,648 --> 01:10:33,177
Thanks, miss. I'll keep the teeth safe.
704
01:10:39,317 --> 01:10:42,624
- Er, miss?
- Yes, Banjo?
705
01:10:44,955 --> 01:10:46,556
Can I have a puppy?
706
01:10:47,300 --> 01:10:51,869
I had a kitten, but our mam
drownded it cos it was dirty.
707
01:10:53,821 --> 01:10:56,893
I think it'll turn up quite soon, Banjo.
708
01:10:57,431 --> 01:10:58,403
Thanks, miss.
709
01:11:03,707 --> 01:11:04,477
Billy!
710
01:11:06,139 --> 01:11:09,304
Violet's talked about it and we thought
we ought to come back and help.
711
01:11:09,424 --> 01:11:12,260
- It's OK. They're all gone.
- Oh.
712
01:11:14,368 --> 01:11:16,667
And Banjo needed a new job.
713
01:11:19,592 --> 01:11:22,629
That's funny. So does Billy.
714
01:11:23,394 --> 01:11:26,181
Look, why don't you two
make yourselves useful
715
01:11:26,301 --> 01:11:28,394
and help Banjo clear up this mess?
716
01:11:28,873 --> 01:11:32,320
He's pretty much running the place now.
717
01:11:33,353 --> 01:11:36,109
- Oh, but he's...
- He's in charge.
718
01:11:39,244 --> 01:11:42,242
We'd love to help, Banjo. Together.
719
01:11:44,030 --> 01:11:48,627
Good. Have fun.
Now I'm going home.
720
01:11:49,994 --> 01:11:52,320
This is a hell of a
way to spend Hogswatch.
721
01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:11,835
Grandfather! What are you doing here?
722
01:12:14,177 --> 01:12:17,530
It is not over.
723
01:12:17,650 --> 01:12:21,982
You must bring the Hogfather home.
724
01:12:24,415 --> 01:12:27,407
These look like the mountains
where the Castle of Bones was.
725
01:12:27,527 --> 01:12:28,699
They are.
726
01:12:36,516 --> 01:12:38,856
- It's a pig!
- A boar.
727
01:12:40,470 --> 01:12:42,660
This boar is the?
728
01:12:42,961 --> 01:12:47,584
Yes. The Hogfather as he began.
729
01:12:48,282 --> 01:12:53,412
- And the dogs.
- These are not real dogs.
730
01:12:53,532 --> 01:12:56,810
If they catch him, he won't just die.
731
01:12:56,930 --> 01:13:00,351
He will... never be.
732
01:13:01,246 --> 01:13:02,595
Well, stop them.
733
01:13:03,248 --> 01:13:06,464
This is a human thing.
734
01:13:09,121 --> 01:13:11,368
The Auditors are desperate now.
735
01:13:11,488 --> 01:13:15,305
They're determined to destroy
the Hogfather at whatever cost.
736
01:13:20,738 --> 01:13:23,790
You must save him.
737
01:14:41,045 --> 01:14:42,833
Come on. Jump.
738
01:14:43,061 --> 01:14:44,780
Just you try it.
739
01:14:53,307 --> 01:14:56,572
Yes! Who wants some? Anyone else?
740
01:15:22,179 --> 01:15:24,177
Ho, ho, ho.
741
01:15:25,819 --> 01:15:28,938
You couldn't resist it in the end.
742
01:15:33,359 --> 01:15:35,152
A mistake, I fancy.
743
01:15:37,974 --> 01:15:41,368
It gets under your skin, life.
744
01:15:42,414 --> 01:15:45,087
Speaking metaphorically, of course.
745
01:15:46,565 --> 01:15:50,052
And, you see, the more you
struggle for every moment,
746
01:15:50,172 --> 01:15:52,435
the more alive you stay.
747
01:15:53,588 --> 01:15:57,707
Which is where I come
in, as a matter of fact.
748
01:15:58,522 --> 01:16:01,056
You can't do this. There are rules.
749
01:16:01,176 --> 01:16:04,660
Yes, there are rules.
750
01:16:05,077 --> 01:16:07,143
But you broke them.
751
01:16:07,653 --> 01:16:11,733
How dare you. How dare you!
752
01:16:12,603 --> 01:16:18,745
And now there remains
only one final question.
753
01:16:21,526 --> 01:16:26,629
Have you been naughty or nice?
754
01:16:30,517 --> 01:16:33,836
Ho, ho, ho.
755
01:17:20,950 --> 01:17:22,702
We saved you.
756
01:17:25,396 --> 01:17:28,354
Dying's not how it's supposed to go!
757
01:19:15,355 --> 01:19:17,290
Er... Er, sorry.
758
01:19:26,800 --> 01:19:27,580
Hyah!
759
01:19:41,277 --> 01:19:42,193
Well...
760
01:19:45,744 --> 01:19:47,988
...that about wraps
it up for this dress.
761
01:19:50,036 --> 01:19:53,826
I'd just like to ask, purely
out of academic interest,
762
01:19:54,770 --> 01:19:57,575
you were sure I was going
to survive, were you?
763
01:19:58,067 --> 01:19:59,983
I was quite confident.
764
01:20:02,044 --> 01:20:05,277
Good. Now, tell me...
765
01:20:05,397 --> 01:20:07,774
What would've happened
if you hadn't saved him?
766
01:20:08,198 --> 01:20:11,962
- Yes.
- The sun would not have risen.
767
01:20:13,232 --> 01:20:14,514
Then what would've happened?
768
01:20:15,092 --> 01:20:19,548
A mere ball of flaming gas
would have illuminated the world.
769
01:20:20,136 --> 01:20:21,587
Alright, I'm not stupid.
770
01:20:21,888 --> 01:20:26,281
You're saying that humans need
fantasies to make life bearable.
771
01:20:26,401 --> 01:20:27,332
No.
772
01:20:28,351 --> 01:20:32,771
Humans need fantasy to be human.
773
01:20:33,615 --> 01:20:38,582
To be the place where the falling
angel meets the rising ape.
774
01:20:39,625 --> 01:20:42,808
With tooth fairies, Hogfathers...
775
01:20:43,122 --> 01:20:43,724
Yes.
776
01:20:44,422 --> 01:20:48,966
As practice, you have to start out
learning to believe the little lies.
777
01:20:49,540 --> 01:20:52,553
- So we can believe the big ones?
- Yes.
778
01:20:52,822 --> 01:20:56,451
Justice, mercy, duty,
that sort of thing.
779
01:20:57,306 --> 01:21:00,275
- They're not the same at all.
- You think so?
780
01:21:01,351 --> 01:21:05,468
Then, take the universe and
grind it down to the finest powder
781
01:21:05,793 --> 01:21:08,307
and sieve it through the finest sieve,
782
01:21:08,690 --> 01:21:14,602
and then show me one atom of
justice, one molecule of mercy.
783
01:21:14,837 --> 01:21:22,001
And yet, you try to act as if there
is some ideal order in the world,
784
01:21:22,358 --> 01:21:26,509
as if there is some... some
rightness in the universe
785
01:21:26,629 --> 01:21:28,788
by which it may be judged.
786
01:21:29,572 --> 01:21:33,636
But people have got to believe
that, or what's the point?
787
01:21:34,990 --> 01:21:39,063
You need to believe in
things that aren't true.
788
01:21:39,974 --> 01:21:42,697
How else can they become?
789
01:22:11,584 --> 01:22:15,913
Er, would you like to
visit for Hogswatch dinner?
790
01:22:16,242 --> 01:22:18,226
Albert is frying a pudding.
791
01:22:19,158 --> 01:22:24,722
I, er... Well, they're
really expecting me here.
792
01:22:28,102 --> 01:22:30,511
Would you like a drink before you go?
793
01:22:31,058 --> 01:22:35,413
A cup of cocoa would be
appropriate in the circumstances.
794
01:22:40,783 --> 01:22:44,563
Right. There are biscuits in
the tin on the mantelpiece.
795
01:23:08,534 --> 01:23:13,360
- Susan's got a poker, you know.
- My goodness me.
796
01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:15,872
I thought all of you knew that by now.
797
01:23:16,096 --> 01:23:17,165
Indeed.
798
01:23:17,285 --> 01:23:19,867
Last week, she picked
a bogey up by its nose.
799
01:23:21,461 --> 01:23:24,919
I'll give Gawain his stocking,
then I'll come and watch.
800
01:23:25,189 --> 01:23:26,383
Susan...
801
01:23:43,620 --> 01:23:48,546
Well, well. Now, this is... unexpected.
802
01:23:50,378 --> 01:23:51,698
A family affair.
803
01:23:56,796 --> 01:23:57,933
I wonder...
804
01:23:58,918 --> 01:24:01,873
Is it possible to kill... death?
805
01:24:03,550 --> 01:24:04,411
Hmm!
806
01:24:04,876 --> 01:24:07,148
This must be a very special sword.
807
01:24:11,337 --> 01:24:13,239
And it certainly works here.
808
01:24:17,147 --> 01:24:21,402
And, of course, it might well
not be regarded as murder.
809
01:24:22,916 --> 01:24:25,735
Possibly it is... a civic act.
810
01:24:27,460 --> 01:24:29,519
It would be, as they say...
811
01:24:32,509 --> 01:24:33,825
...the big one.
812
01:24:35,343 --> 01:24:38,816
You may have some personal
knowledge about your vulnerability,
813
01:24:40,048 --> 01:24:42,015
but I'm pretty certain
814
01:24:42,937 --> 01:24:46,088
that Susan here will
quite definitely die.
815
01:24:47,982 --> 01:24:52,498
So I'd rather you didn't
try any last-minute stuff.
816
01:24:54,889 --> 01:24:58,518
I am last-minute stuff.
817
01:25:04,702 --> 01:25:08,073
I don't remember them asking
for anything that made a noise.
818
01:25:08,713 --> 01:25:13,207
Oh, there has to be something in
the stocking that makes a noise.
819
01:25:13,448 --> 01:25:16,896
Otherwise, what is 4:30am for?
820
01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:19,735
There are children?
821
01:25:20,775 --> 01:25:24,166
Oh, yes. Of course.
822
01:25:25,499 --> 01:25:29,400
- Call them.
- Certainly not.
823
01:25:30,062 --> 01:25:33,606
It'll be instructive. Educational.
824
01:25:34,215 --> 01:25:36,076
And when your adversary is Death,
825
01:25:36,869 --> 01:25:40,039
you can't help but be the good guy.
826
01:25:41,549 --> 01:25:42,602
Call them.
827
01:25:54,526 --> 01:25:57,385
Gawain. Twyla.
828
01:26:02,321 --> 01:26:04,733
Come in. Come in!
829
01:26:05,895 --> 01:26:08,413
Curly haired tots!
830
01:26:11,039 --> 01:26:14,071
I caught this bogeyman.
831
01:26:16,986 --> 01:26:19,041
What shall we do with him, huh?
832
01:26:19,161 --> 01:26:21,408
It's only a skeleton!
833
01:26:25,934 --> 01:26:26,632
Yes.
834
01:26:28,085 --> 01:26:33,413
A nasty, creepy, horrible skeleton.
835
01:26:34,604 --> 01:26:35,929
Scary, huh?
836
01:26:37,008 --> 01:26:38,380
He's eating a biscuit.
837
01:26:39,222 --> 01:26:43,389
A creepy, bony man in a black robe.
838
01:26:44,217 --> 01:26:46,995
You're fidgeting with that kettle,
839
01:26:47,401 --> 01:26:50,895
so I expect you're thinking
of doing something creative.
840
01:26:51,568 --> 01:26:53,972
Put it down. Please.
841
01:26:56,827 --> 01:26:58,685
- Slowly.
- Huh!
842
01:26:58,945 --> 01:27:02,397
That's not very creepy. It's just bones.
843
01:27:02,666 --> 01:27:06,898
It's just standing there. It's
not even making "whoo-whoo" noises.
844
01:27:07,212 --> 01:27:11,524
And, anyway, you're
creepy. Your eye's weird.
845
01:27:16,019 --> 01:27:16,999
Really?
846
01:27:19,559 --> 01:27:23,711
Well, let's see how creepy I can be.
847
01:27:51,383 --> 01:27:56,252
Oh, no! Couldn't have gone through you.
848
01:27:57,255 --> 01:28:01,346
There's so many ribs... and things.
849
01:28:06,350 --> 01:28:08,115
It only kills monsters.
850
01:28:09,202 --> 01:28:10,557
Stop time now.
851
01:28:14,338 --> 01:28:15,679
You winked at me.
852
01:28:16,157 --> 01:28:17,868
I thought you had a plan.
853
01:28:18,558 --> 01:28:20,088
Indeed. Oh, yes.
854
01:28:20,716 --> 01:28:23,767
- I planned to see what you would do.
- What?
855
01:28:25,655 --> 01:28:29,296
I did add the sparkly
stars and the noise, though.
856
01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:31,850
I thought they would be appropriate.
857
01:28:31,970 --> 01:28:33,571
And if I hadn't done anything?
858
01:28:34,178 --> 01:28:37,212
I dare say I would have
thought of something
859
01:28:37,883 --> 01:28:41,746
- at the last minute.
- That was the last minute.
860
01:28:42,698 --> 01:28:46,228
There is always time
for another last minute.
861
01:28:51,580 --> 01:28:56,820
Stop playing dead,
Mr Teh-ah-tim-eh.
862
01:29:03,641 --> 01:29:05,584
You got it right.
863
01:29:06,254 --> 01:29:07,267
Of course.
864
01:29:13,136 --> 01:29:17,414
I'll take care of the body. That
will prevent inconvenient questions.
865
01:29:18,767 --> 01:29:24,125
Erm, you did know the
poker would go through me?
866
01:29:26,125 --> 01:29:28,013
I was quite confident.
867
01:29:32,424 --> 01:29:33,106
Ah.
868
01:29:35,576 --> 01:29:37,055
I have made this for you.
869
01:29:38,630 --> 01:29:41,101
Oh! Thank you.
870
01:29:42,947 --> 01:29:44,017
What is it?
871
01:29:44,983 --> 01:29:48,390
Albert said there
ought to be snow on it,
872
01:29:49,336 --> 01:29:51,699
but it appears to have melted.
873
01:29:52,883 --> 01:29:55,360
It is, of course, a Hogswatch card.
874
01:29:56,903 --> 01:29:57,601
Oh.
875
01:29:58,944 --> 01:30:01,421
There should have been
a robin on it as well,
876
01:30:02,146 --> 01:30:06,139
but I had considerable difficulty
in getting it to stay on.
877
01:30:06,441 --> 01:30:07,110
Ah.
878
01:30:08,254 --> 01:30:12,359
- It was not at all cooperative.
- Really?
879
01:30:12,805 --> 01:30:16,357
It did not seem to get into
the Hogswatch spirit at all.
880
01:30:18,329 --> 01:30:20,718
Oh. Thank you.
881
01:30:23,324 --> 01:30:26,280
- Granddad?
- Yes?
882
01:30:28,700 --> 01:30:34,127
Why? I mean, why did you do all this?
883
01:30:36,681 --> 01:30:40,594
Human beings make life so interesting.
884
01:30:42,368 --> 01:30:47,512
Do you know that in a
universe so full of wonders,
885
01:30:47,859 --> 01:30:51,852
they have managed to invent boredom?
886
01:30:53,762 --> 01:30:57,388
- Quite astonishing.
- Oh.
887
01:30:59,365 --> 01:31:03,869
Well, then, er... Happy Hogswatch.
888
01:31:06,880 --> 01:31:07,621
Yes.
889
01:31:09,477 --> 01:31:10,476
Granddad.
890
01:31:14,289 --> 01:31:15,807
Happy Hogswatch.
891
01:31:31,610 --> 01:31:34,952
A Happy Hogswatch
892
01:31:35,216 --> 01:31:38,164
and good night, children,
893
01:31:38,895 --> 01:31:40,988
everywhere.
894
01:32:24,508 --> 01:32:27,847
Ooh! Hello! Hello!
895
01:32:29,551 --> 01:32:33,396
Oh, you're cute. Yeah, come on.
896
01:32:33,997 --> 01:32:36,538
Come on, let's play. Yeah.
897
01:32:56,696 --> 01:33:00,188
You have a big, wooden
rocking horse in the window.
898
01:33:00,308 --> 01:33:07,408
Er... yes. That's a special
order I made for... Lord Rodney.
899
01:33:07,646 --> 01:33:10,717
How much would this
lordship have paid you?
900
01:33:11,658 --> 01:33:14,881
- $12.
- I will give you 50.
901
01:33:15,001 --> 01:33:17,171
Would you like me to wrap it, sir?
902
01:33:17,291 --> 01:33:20,940
No. I will take it as it is.
903
01:33:21,228 --> 01:33:22,514
Thank you.
904
01:33:24,081 --> 01:33:28,127
Incidentally, there is
a small boy out there
905
01:33:28,247 --> 01:33:31,539
with his nose frozen to the window.
906
01:33:32,705 --> 01:33:35,832
Some warm water should do the trick.
907
01:33:36,244 --> 01:33:38,221
Happy Hogswatch, sir.
68387
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.