Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

We want spinach, mango, wheatgrass, oh,

and extra cheese. Yeah, yeah.

(WHIRRING)

Here you go.

Wow. You could really taste the wheatgrass.

What can I get for you, Sniffles? Same thing?

I can't have wheatgrass. I'm allergic.

I'm also allergic to pollen, dust mites, asparagus,

some types of door knobs, paper clips, shag carpeting,

Formica tables and 1980's dance music.

Hey, you can't have a smoothie stand here.

Why not?

'Cause I just opened a smoothie stand, here.

Now get lost, rodents.

(ALL EXCLAIM AND GRUNT)

That big meanie destroyed our smoothie stand.

It's time to call Dark Bat.

Dark Bat? You mean, the greatest superhero of all time?

That's right. Oh, I'm-- (STAMMERING)

Okay, while you do that I... I, uh... Gotta go make a nut loaf.

Now?

So long!

Weird kid.

Let's call Dark Bat.

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

(HORN BLARES)

DARK BAT:Did somebody call me?

Eh, it's just Sniffles in a bat costume.

Where's the nut loaf?

Oops.

Never fear, Dark Bat is here.

Dark Bat...

This terrible bully destroyed our smoothie stand.

And we need your help to get it back.

He's over there.

HUBIE: At that big smoothie store.

That juice maker is about to get squeezed.

Time for a nice, refreshing, Yosemite Sam-oothie.

All I need are some apples,

peaches, mangoes, oops, mangoes,

and some ice and I'm good to--

Hey, where did all my ingredients go?

Looking for these?

What the-- Who are you?

The name's Dark Bat.

A lone crusader

with an insatiable thirst for justice.

I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, like mice,

squirrels and plankton.

Whales eat them!

And they're next on my list!

Put my fruit down, Dork Bat.

(GROANS) It's Dark Bat.

And I guess I'm the apple of your eye.

You crazy varmint!

It takes two to mango.

Papa don't peach.

(GRUNTING)

(SPUTTERING)

So, you're a bat, huh?

Well, I got a bat too.

A baseball bat! (GRUNTS)

Strike one, strike two, ball four,

three up, three down, tie goes to the runner and you're out!

Now, take a seat on the bench. (PANTING)

(EXCLAIMS) (GLASS BREAKING)

Whoa. (SIZZLES)

Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot--

Don't worry. I'll help cool you off. (THUDS)

(SCREAMING) Too cold, too cold, too cold.

This hot sauce should warm you up.

(GURGLES) Too hot, too hot, too hot.

Here, this frozen smoothie ought to do the trick.

(SLURPING) Ah! Brain freeze.

Too cold, too cold, too cold, too cold.

Looks like you could use a little sun.

Ah! Too hot, too hot, too hot, too hot.

Hang on. This compost should even it out.

(SIGHING) Just right.

Oh, look at this mess.

Guess we should clean up with my patented Dark Bat floor cleaner.

Wash your floors, clean up dirt, grime and crime.

All for only 19 dollars and 99 cents.

Never waste your old bad guys again.

Guaranteed to get out the toughest stains.

Call now. And they are easy to ring out and re-use.

It's economically safe and justice approved.

Ooh! I got a really good idea

on how to get rid of this varmint.

(SCREAMING)

(CRASHES)

Let's see if you can outrun my rocket powered motorcycle.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(LAUGHING)

Have a seat. Oh, no.

I'm trapped in this room temperature agave nectar.

Say your prayers, varmint.

Trapped like a rat, dressed as a bat.

Time to turn over a new leaf.

(CRASHING)

See, kids? Vegetables are good for you.

The mouse gets the cheese

but the bat gets the motorcycle.

(ENGINE REVS)

(GROANING)

Ooh! If I see that flying rat one more time--

DARK BAT: Make way. Coming through.

DARK BAT: On your left. (SPUTTERS) Whoa!

(YOSEMITE SCREAMING)

Now, that's how to wheel the deal.

BOTH: Yay.

You did it, Dark Bat.

And as a token of our appreciation, here's a smoothie.

(GULPING) Ah.

You can really taste the wheatgrass.

(GULPS) And I'm allergic to wheatgrass.

(DARK BAT SCREAMING) Dark Bat, away!

Hey, guys. I'm done with my nut loaf.

Sniffles, where have you been?

You just missed Dark Bat save the day.

Yeah, yeah.

Dark Bat was here?

Oh, man. I must've been so busy making this nut loaf

that I didn't notice.

Can you imagine Sniffles trying to rescue us?

He couldn't rescue a teddy bear from a toddler.

(LAUGHING) Yeah, yeah, right.

You're right. I couldn't rescue you.

(IN DEEP VOICE) But Dark Bat could. Ooh! Ow!

That's one hot nut loaf.

BUGS: This restaurant looks as good as any.

SQUEAKS: Look there.

BUGS: An open parking spot, right in front.

You snooze, you lose.

BUGS: Hey, what's the big idea?

Me first! (LAUGHS) Me first.

BUGS: The nerve of that guy. Can you believe him?

I mean, clearly I was waiting to park there.

Oh, it's you.

Welcome to Slugsworthy Slop House.

We'd like a table for two, please.

Sure, we can seat you anywhere you like.

Open seating.

Great. How about that booth in the corner?

That's reserved.

Hmm. Okay, how about that nice table in the middle, there?

Reserved.

Well, how about that table in the back?

It's also reserved.

I thought you said it was open seating.

It is. And I have the perfect spot.

Here you go.

This table's between the kitchen and the bathroom.

I know, right?

So many great aromas.

Your waiter will be here shortly.

(THUD, THUD)

Are you guys ready to order?

You're our waiter, too?

This is my restaurant. I do it all.

Now, what can I get you?

Uh, let's see.

I'll have the "wambo mambo hit me with a slambo" garden salad.

Yeah, make it two.

Excellent choices. Coming right up.

(THUD)

If the food is half as flavorful as the names,

we should be okay.

(THUD)

Okay, here you go.

Mmm... Oh!

(GOBBLES, SLURPS)

Oh, that hit the spot.

What're you doing? That was our food.

This is my restaurant.

So I eat the food first.

(WHIMPERING)

I just said, "Me first!"

(GULPING)

That's ridiculous.

In fact, delicious.

(BURPS)

(SIGHS)

Did you two save any room for me to eat your desert?

Save any room? There's no food on the table.

Oh, you're done already?

Well, then. Here's your bill.

It's been an absolute pleasure serving you today.

What? A bill?

I'm not paying.

Well, that's unfortunate.

It's time for the chef to be tossed.

Sulgsworthy's order is up.

(GOBBLING)

I hope you're enjoying your time here.

(IN A BRITISH ACCENT) Who is responsible for this train wreck?

Wait, I know you.

You're world-famous chef, Random Gorsey.

That I am.

And this restaurant looks like a Halloween party

threw up in a junkyard.

I can't imagine what horrors I will find in the kitchen.

Disgusting.

I've seen rest-stop bathrooms cleaner than this.

These pots and pans are filthy.

(CLANGING)

Good gravy.

That's the most vile fryer that I've ever seen.

Yeah, it's also the biggest.

Oh, well, we'll just see about that.

Now, that's a jumbo, jumbo shrimp.

Bring me a pool of cocktail sauce.

All right. Now, let's see how grotesque your walk-in freezer is.

Wait, me first.

Wow, that was easier than I thought.

Now, you've gone and done it.

You can't serve frozen food.

I think I've seen enough.

Oh, you lingering lump of... (CONTINUES MUTTERING)

(ICE BREAKING)

Mr. Gorsey? Mr. Gorsey?

Eh, what's up, Doc?

I thought I kicked you out of here.

You did. But we came back to challenge you.

In what?

The Slugsworthy super stupendous

slophouse challenge. Huh?

Ta-da.

(LAUGHS)

You wanna take me on? (GRUNTS)

Nobody has ever beaten me at a slophouse challenge.

Well, there's first time for everything.

Oh, you're on.

I'll go first.

No way. I go first.

I go first.

I go first, 'cause I always go first,

'cause Slugsworthy always goes first!

First, first, first.

So, you wanna go second?

SLUGSWORTHY:Me first!

(ALARMS BLARING)

Okay, go first.

Let's start.

All right. Five minutes on the clock.

Squeaks, bring out the food.

First course, appetizers.

And go. And go.

BUGS: We've got poppers, corn poppers, jalapeno poppers,

yard poppers, soda poppers, comet poppers...

We've got skins, tater skins, sweet potato skins, drum skins, shirts and skins...

Now the entree, skirt steak, round steak, fudge steak, claim your steak...

(GULPING)

What? The kitchen is out of food?

Ah, yes!

I went first and I ate...

...all the food. (GROANS)

Which means I win the challenge.

Actually, looks like we have one wafer-thin mint for you to eat.

No. No, I... I can't.

I'm too full.

You can eat it.

It's one little,

tiny mint.

Okay. (BURPING) Okay, I'll try.

(GROANS)

(STOMACH GROWLS) (EXPLODES)

(CRYING)

That's the problem with going first.

You never have room for seconds.

(SWALLOWS) I win.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)