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1
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:04,384
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,148
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
3
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:20,019
Good evening.
4
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,517
It is I, Elmer Fudderbatch,
5
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,219
the greatest
Shakespearean actor
6
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,461
of all time.
7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,026
Prepare yourselves
for five hours
8
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,455
of non-stop
theatrical perfection
9
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,671
without intermission.
10
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(SPLUTTERING)
11
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,496
Five hours?
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,798
To ensure
I won't be interrupted,
13
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:39,171
we're locking the door,
so no one can leave.
14
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,039
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)
15
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(DOORS LOCKING)
16
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,776
What the...
17
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,414
Now let the show begin!
18
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:50,651
"To be, or not to be,
that is the question."
19
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:51,848
DAFFY:
Here's my question,
20
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,519
where are the exits?
21
00:00:53,588 --> 00:00:54,988
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
All right, who's the wise guy
22
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,716
who's ruing my soliloquy?
23
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,060
The name's
Daffy Duck.
24
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:01,355
And this is the worst movie
I have ever seen.
25
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:02,798
This isn't a movie.
26
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,533
This is Shakespeare!
27
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,198
Whatever it is,
it's terrible.
28
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,697
How dare you insult
my performance?
29
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,309
No one interrupts
Elmer Fudderbatch.
30
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,372
Now get off
my stage!
31
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,611
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
32
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,808
Hmm, costumes, props.
33
00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:24,881
I think it's time
for Daffy Ducklivier
to take the stage.
34
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:28,559
"But, soft! What light
through yonder window breaks?
35
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:32,232
"It is the east,
and Juliet is the--"
36
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:33,362
Duck?
37
00:01:33,428 --> 00:01:36,058
A duck by any other name
would smell as sweet.
38
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,229
(INHALES)
39
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,067
(GAGS AND COUGHS)
40
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,343
Whoo! I could really use
some deodorant.
41
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:45,112
"With love's light wings
did I o'erperch these walls."
42
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,672
You mean,
these walls?
43
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:48,841
(ELMER GROANS)
44
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,279
"Parting is such
sweet sorrow."
45
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:54,245
"Sweet sorrow?"
Who wrote this dreck?
46
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:57,075
Oh, when I find that duck,
I'm gonna--
47
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,091
There you are!
What are you doing?
48
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,793
You gotta be on the stage
for the big speech fromKing Lear.
49
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,215
But I don't have
my costume.
50
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,291
Don't worry.
I've got you covered.
51
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,629
Here's your robe.
And let's not forget
your crown.
52
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,464
Ah! (COUGHS)
53
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:13,429
Now, get out there,
champ.
54
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,539
"Blow, winds,
crack your cheeks!
55
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,035
(FARTING SOUND)
56
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:21,166
"Rage.
57
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,441
(FARTING SOUND)
58
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,879
"Blow."
59
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,784
(FARTING SOUND)
60
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:30,177
"You cataracts and hurricanoes
spout fire!"
61
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,490
(BLOWING)
62
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,252
(RUMBLING)
"Thou all-shaking thunder..."
63
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,291
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
64
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:38,026
I find his performance to belong-winded.
65
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,062
You ruined
my storm scene!
66
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,457
We can talk
about it later.
67
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,759
You're going to wear
this kilt for your next role.
68
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,031
Some Scottish guy
name Macbeth.
69
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,029
No! Don't say the name
of the play.
70
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,241
Terrible things happen
to those who say it.
71
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,443
Say what?
Macbeth.
72
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,035
Okay, come on.
73
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:55,677
You gotta get out there
and play the King of Scotland.
74
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,112
"Is this a dagger
I see before me?
75
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,779
"The handle toward...
The handle..."
76
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,418
Uh, I forgot my lines.
DAFFY: Psst.
77
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:05,223
Over here, chum.
78
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,385
Thanks, Mr. Duck.
79
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,124
(CLEARS THROAT)
"Macbeth." Macbeth?
80
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:12,930
Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth,
Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth.
81
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,533
Macbeth, Macbeth,
Macbeth, Macbeth.
82
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,495
(CRYING) Macbeth!
83
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,225
Wait a minute.
84
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,570
Oh, no.
85
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:25,186
(GROANS IN AGONY)
86
00:03:31,546 --> 00:03:34,116
"Now is the winter
of our discontent,
87
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:37,291
"made glorious summer
by this sun of York."
88
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,851
Hey, what are
you doing?
89
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,289
Look, bub, this is
the winter of my discontent.
90
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,815
I'm playing Richard III,
not you.
91
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,091
I've got a hump.
92
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:46,429
You call that a hump?
93
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,633
(INHALES DEEPLY AND BLOWS)
94
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,195
This is a hump.
95
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:52,834
No one out-humps
Elmer Fudderbatch.
96
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,470
(INHALES DEEPLY AND BLOWS)
97
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:55,574
(LAUGHS)
98
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,306
(INHALES DEEPLY AND BLOWS) Ha!
99
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,811
Ha!
100
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,443
Ha!
Ha-ha!
101
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,208
Ha-ha!
102
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:04,406
Ha-ha!
103
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,308
Ah! (GROANS)
104
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,509
I win.
105
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,751
You may have out-humped me,
106
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,716
but I've got a funny walk.
107
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,524
(GRUNTING)
108
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,656
Well, I've got a funnier walk.
109
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,161
(FUNNY VOICE) Walk, walk,
walk, walk.
110
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,693
(ELMER GROANS)
I've got an even funnier walk.
111
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,729
(GRUNTING)
112
00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:24,025
(DAFFY GROANS)
And I've got
the funniest walk of all.
113
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,768
Walka, walka, walka, (SPITS)
walka, (SPITS) walka.
114
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,504
Walka. (SPITS AND MUMBLES)
115
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,969
Walka, walka, walka, walka.
(SPITS)
116
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,408
You know,
I think he's right.
117
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:33,612
That was pretty funny.
118
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,214
En garde, knave!
119
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,276
Hey, look,
is that Scott Bakula?
120
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,675
(GASPS)
World's greatest actor!
Where?
121
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,476
Ooh, you got me!
122
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,979
(DRAMATIC VOICE)
I am slain.
(GASPS)
123
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,951
Thou hast made worms'
meat of me.
124
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,590
And I hate worms' meat!
125
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,785
(NORMAL VOICE)
Although it's not bad
with a slice of avocado.
126
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,687
Ooh, I have kicked the bucket!
127
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,629
I've bought the farm!
128
00:04:54,696 --> 00:04:58,396
(IMITATING PORKY'S STAMMERING)
That's all, folks.
129
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,525
(GROANS)
130
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,399
(GASPING)
131
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,098
(GASPS AND GROANS)
132
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,370
(AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING)
133
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,109
Oh, you stole
my big death scene.
134
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,735
Listen to
that applause.
135
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,750
That's not for me,
it's for you.
136
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,352
It is?
Oh, thank you.
137
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:17,384
Thank you. Oh, you like me.
You really like--
138
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:19,020
(AUDIENCE BOOING)
139
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,646
(YELLING)
140
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:21,961
Huh!
Guess I was wrong.
141
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,822
It was for me.
Thank you.
142
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,831
A'thank you,
my dearest subjects.
143
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,834
Oh, you ruined my show!
I'm gonna...
144
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,297
(ELMER SCREAMING)
145
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,174
(ELMER THUDDING)
146
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:34,133
(ELMER MUTTERING IN PAIN)
147
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,301
In theater, they tell you
to break a leg,
148
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,720
but he just broke everything.
149
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,012
Eye of newt,
two for the price of one.
150
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:48,979
Dirty, slimy earthworms,
half off...
151
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,119
And for each toadwart
you buy,
152
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:54,815
I'll throw in one of my own,
absolutely free.
153
00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:59,429
Oh, dearie, I knocked over
my big box of spiders.
154
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:03,563
Broom! Get over here,
and clean this up.
155
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:07,231
Faster, you lazy broom.
And don't expect a thank you.
156
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,771
And while you're at it,
157
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,496
my gargoyle just had
an accident in the corner.
(SIGHS)
158
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,241
So, hop to it!
159
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,237
I love a good yard sale.
160
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,879
You never know
what you're gonna find.
161
00:06:16,945 --> 00:06:19,545
Well, look at all these great
Halloween decorations.
162
00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:21,554
(DEEP VOICE)
Beware the witch's curse.
163
00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:24,746
Or you too will suffer
a fate worse than--
164
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,288
Boring.
(SKULL SHATTERS)
165
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,963
Maybe I should look
for something more practical.
166
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:32,291
(EERILY) Beware! Beware!
167
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:35,059
Well, hey, I guess
I could use a new broom.
168
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,529
How much for this one?
169
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,096
Oh, I'm busy, dearie.
170
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:42,196
Whatever it is, uh,
just give me a dollar.
I'll take it.
171
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,369
What a deal!
A new broom
for only a dollar.
172
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,479
That bunny's got
my magic broom!
173
00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,612
No one bamboozles Witch--
(THUDS)
174
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:50,906
(GROANS AND THUDS)
175
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,948
(GRUNTS)
176
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,824
Oh, would you look at that?
177
00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:58,794
The bridge is out.
I guess I'll have to go
all the way around.
178
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,092
Huh! Whoa!
179
00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:01,294
I'm flying.
180
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,955
Look, Ma, no hands!
181
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,634
(BRAKES SCREECH)
182
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,092
What's up, doctress?
183
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:10,061
You took my broom from me,
and I want it back.
184
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,300
I didn't take it.
I paid for it.
185
00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:14,266
Plus, I don't think
it wants to be with you.
186
00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:16,535
It doesn't matter
what it wants.
187
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,673
It's my broom.
188
00:07:17,739 --> 00:07:19,539
Now give it back,
or you'll regret it.
189
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,877
The only thing I regret
is this conversation.
190
00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:25,253
Now, if you'll excuse me,
my broom and I
must be going.
191
00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:29,483
If you don't give me
that broom, I shall put
a spell on you.
192
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,319
Do your worst.
193
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:34,585
"Spider belly, dragon bone,
194
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,655
"turn this rabbit
into a stone."
195
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,694
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
196
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:44,931
Oh, my-- (GRUNTS)
197
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,768
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)
198
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,244
You know, I've never even
flown a broom before.
199
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,613
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
200
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,112
WITCH HAZEL:
My wand is on empty.
201
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,644
Okay, okay, time-out
swamp-breath.
202
00:07:56,711 --> 00:08:01,581
"Swamp-breath"
Ooh, are you flirting with me?
203
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,579
As long as
we're casting spells,
204
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:07,021
I bet I can out-spell you
any day of the week.
205
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,917
Oh, you're on.
206
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:13,630
No, no, no, no.
Not that kind of spelling,
this kind of spelling.
207
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,133
A spelling bee?
208
00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:18,226
(ANNOUNCER VOICE)
That's right.
It's a spelling bee.
209
00:08:18,299 --> 00:08:20,529
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
210
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,671
The first word to spell
is "Osprey."
211
00:08:23,738 --> 00:08:26,108
Uh, can you use it
in a sentence?
212
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,513
Sure. I'll spray you
with this seltzer water.
213
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,446
Osprey? Uh...
214
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,082
"A--"
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
215
00:08:33,147 --> 00:08:34,847
Ooh, time's up.
216
00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:39,416
The word for our next
contestant, Bugs Bunny,
is "Cat."
217
00:08:39,487 --> 00:08:42,217
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Cat. C-A-T. Cat.
218
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,629
(ANNOUNCER VOICE) Correct.
Very good, Bugs.
219
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,692
Okay, Witch Hazel,
your next word is,
220
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,301
"Debris. Debris."
221
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,533
Uh, can you use it
in a sentence?
222
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,099
BUGS: When it comes to cheese,
223
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,067
some folks prefer decheddar,
224
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,035
others like debrie.
225
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,244
Debris.
226
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,105
D-- (GROANS)
227
00:09:00,174 --> 00:09:02,314
Debris. D--
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
228
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:05,706
Sorry, time's up.
Bugs, your word is,
229
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,109
"ER."
230
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:09,621
ER. E-R.
231
00:09:09,684 --> 00:09:12,254
That's not a word.
That's an abbreviation!
232
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,960
BUGS: (ANNOUNCER VOICE)
Luck of the draw, I guess.
Let's move on.
233
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,522
"Rhinoceros."
234
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,090
Wait! Don't use it
in a sentence.
I know how to spell it.
235
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,960
No, that's not your word.
236
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,129
I meant, look out
for that rhinoceros!
237
00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:25,598
(GRUNTS)
238
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:29,696
Come on, broom,
let's get out of here.
239
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,969
(WHISTLES)
240
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,408
(GASPS)
241
00:09:33,474 --> 00:09:35,184
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
242
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,312
(WHISTLES)
243
00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:37,647
(YELLS AND GROANS)
244
00:09:37,712 --> 00:09:39,882
Whoa!
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
245
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,746
Whoa!
246
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,115
(WHISTLES)
247
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,253
Oh!
248
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:45,918
(GROANS AND BLOWS PARTY HORN)
249
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,356
(PLAYING INSTRUMENTS)
250
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,523
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
251
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:54,931
So long, dearie.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
252
00:09:54,996 --> 00:09:58,096
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
Give me that broom,
you nasty witch!
253
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,295
(STRUGGLING)
254
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,696
(BOTH THUD)
255
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,097
(GROANS)
256
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:05,109
(GROANS)
257
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,342
Look, now you
scared him away.
258
00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:09,108
Me? Look at you!
259
00:10:09,177 --> 00:10:12,447
You look like
a jalapeno pepper that got
run over by a garbage truck.
260
00:10:12,513 --> 00:10:15,083
Flattery won't get you
anywhere, rabbit.
261
00:10:15,149 --> 00:10:16,989
Stop trying
to steal my broom.
262
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,821
Look, lady,
I paid for the broom,
and he's mine.
263
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,757
I sold him to you by accident,
so he's mine.
264
00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:27,824
Well, why don't we let
the broom decide.
265
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,269
(TIRES SCREECHING)
266
00:10:31,332 --> 00:10:33,272
Uh, I'll take
my dollar back.
267
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:37,074
All sales are final.
268
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,837
(TIRES SCREECHING)
269
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,684
Aw, he's in love.
270
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,450
We can't break up
the bride and broom.
271
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:57,520
Of course not,
I bristle at the thought.
272
00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:58,825
Would you
look at that.
273
00:10:58,893 --> 00:11:03,843
He really swept her
off her feet.
274
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,674
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
18793
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