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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,799 Na-no, na-no. 2 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Ripped By mstoll 3 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:40,297 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 4 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:44,233 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 5 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,497 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Fat Masterson. 6 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,766 Hola! Orson is no in casa. 7 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,001 This is the housekeeper, Keezbalita. 8 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,111 Talk fast, I'm watching The Edge of Ork. 9 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,338 When will he be back, Keezbalita? 10 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,110 He's at his club. 11 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,115 He get drunk and then he come home and say: 12 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,947 "Keezbalita, I want you bad." 13 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,091 Gotta go now. Elizabeth Taylor's on. Boy. 14 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:08,455 Adi�s, you fine young thing. 15 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:12,189 I should never have given her that Fernando Valenzuela poster. 16 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,331 Hello, Mom? 17 00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,165 Mom? 18 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,965 Mom, can you hear me? 19 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,867 Oh, excuse me. 20 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,272 I'm awfully sorry, my friend. 21 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,415 I was just trying to call my mother on Neptune. 22 00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,447 Oh, you're from Neptune? 23 00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,245 You don't know Bobby Gleepglow, do you? 24 00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,819 Are you kidding? I dated his sister. 25 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,820 Are you kidding? That gorgeous bald girl? 26 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,356 - Uh-huh! - Whoa! 27 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,062 My name is Kalnik, but please, call me Kal, okay? 28 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:47,563 Everybody does except my car salesman who calls me "guy." 29 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,964 "Hey, guy, what you doing? Guy." 30 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,367 Well, na-no. I'm Mork from Ork. 31 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,303 - Oh! I'm sorr... - Oh. 32 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,204 Sorry, I have been on Earth for so long, 33 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,345 I'm starting to pick up their primitive customs. 34 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,709 You know, lately I've even started raising my arms on roller coasters: 35 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:09,211 - Oh! You live on Earth? Me too. - Mm-hm. 36 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,754 - No. - What do you do? 37 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,223 Well, I'm an observer, and I enjoy folk dancing. 38 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,691 - I'm an observer also. - Yeah? 39 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,558 Yup, in my spare time I'm a homemaker, though. 40 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,528 Yeah, I like to take care of my son, 41 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,861 and one day hope to make big money stuffing envelopes. 42 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,230 - You're married, huh? - Yeah. 43 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,872 Me too, but don't laugh, okay? 44 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,632 - She's an Earth girl. - Oh! 45 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:31,902 - Whoa. So's mine. - No. 46 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:35,343 - Does yours use Noxzema? - Yes! 47 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:39,281 Does yours buy those little soaps that she won't let you wash with? 48 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,953 - Oh, what a small galaxy. - Oh, what a small galaxy. 49 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,611 So you dated Bobby Gleepglow's sister? 50 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:44,950 Yes, have you heard from her? 51 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:46,751 Well, I don't wanna spread any rumors, 52 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,723 but I heard that she's turned amphibious. 53 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,658 No. 54 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,554 Cootchie-cootchie. 55 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,222 - Yeah. - Ha-ha! 56 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,081 I'm really glad it's raining. 57 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,411 That bully that keeps beating me up across the street, 58 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,450 he has to stay in too. 59 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:17,818 Shh! Mearth, Daddy's working. 60 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:22,087 Are you kidding? He isn't working. He watches Love Boat the same way. 61 00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:24,786 Well, when he watches Love Boat he keeps mumbling: 62 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,398 "Is Dennis Cole on again?" 63 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,325 Why don't you go and get out of your wet slicker? 64 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,970 No, I don't wanna get out of my wet slicker, okay? 65 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,936 - I wanna stay in my wet slicker. - Mearth... 66 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,633 Celeste. I've asked you never to come aboard. 67 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:40,472 Not at a time, we're entering heavy gales, northeast by southwest 68 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:43,138 by southeast by southwest by northeast. Go below. 69 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,806 Take those groceries, help yourself. 70 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:48,181 Be careful of the cabin boy. He's small and tiny, and he bites. 71 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,478 Oh! Look at those: 72 00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:54,557 Oh, seaweed. 73 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,821 Who knows, it might be in a Nantucket museum. 74 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:02,126 Save it. It was aboard the Pequot. 75 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,964 When will we see the whales, sir? When will we see the whale? 76 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:09,131 Well, you can't miss it. They're quite large. 77 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,039 They have Gregory Peck on it, just like this: 78 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,839 Your little girl, she'll be on the bow, just like this: 79 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,311 - Captain, sir. - Yes? 80 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,608 - Captain, sir? - Yes. 81 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:18,944 The storm is breaking. 82 00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,278 Is it? 83 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:21,715 Yes. 84 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,550 I think you should go and change into your jammies. 85 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,385 - I think you're right. - Good. 86 00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:27,957 The crew was out of line anyway. 87 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,028 - They were talking mutiny, Mommy. - Mearth. 88 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,865 Mind? Oh, Mind, Mind, 89 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,341 put away those groceries and do something to your hair. 90 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,570 Put some magnetic beads in 91 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,715 because we're stepping out with a terrific couple. 92 00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,980 Mork, I told you I'm not going to the Salvation Army luau 93 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,712 with Exidor and his sister. 94 00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,048 Mind, that's next week. 95 00:05:57,223 --> 00:06:00,590 Tonight we're going out with our new best friends, Kal and Tracy Andrews. 96 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,558 Now, I wish you'd checked with me first. 97 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,666 You know what happens every time we go out with another couple. 98 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,701 We can never get close enough to them to stay friends. 99 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,337 I mean, they brag about their kids, 100 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:17,067 and we have to pass Mearth off as a visiting professor from Ceylon. 101 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,110 Mindy, come on. We won't have to do any of that stuff for these people. 102 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,270 Why? Are they blind? 103 00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,544 You don't see. They're just like us. 104 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,449 I mean, she's from Chicago, and he's from Neptune. 105 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,186 - There's life on Neptune? - Well, not after dark. 106 00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:36,157 Well, except for one little rib place in the inner city. 107 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:41,064 They also serve seafood. You can get my man, lobster. What's happening? 108 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,968 Now, this couple, they are normal, right? 109 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:53,873 I mean, Kal doesn't have three heads or eat wood or anything? 110 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:58,210 No, I don't eat wood, although mahogany does make great croutons. 111 00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,976 And they never get soggy. 112 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,418 - Hi, I'm Kal. - Hi, I'm embarrassed. 113 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,616 - Hey, paisano. - Hey. 114 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,633 Kal, I'd like you to meet my main gal here, 115 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:19,294 the light of my life, the one I give my extra pickle to. 116 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,570 And I would like you to meet the only girl in the universe for me. 117 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:26,678 Unfortunately, she couldn't make it, so I had to bring my wife. 118 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:32,584 He always says that. 119 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,152 Oh, I'm so happy to meet both of you. 120 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:38,017 You know, my favorite cousin's name is Mindy. 121 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,388 What a coincidence. Mindy's name is Mindy. 122 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,586 Mindy, Mork tells me you're in television. 123 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,458 Maybe... Maybe you can answer this for me. 124 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,395 Why is there no Channel 1? 125 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,832 Oh. Oh, oh, oh, uh... 126 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:54,837 Well, see, uh, when television was first invented, uh... 127 00:07:55,007 --> 00:08:00,377 No, see, the FCC has special frequency regulations and, uh... 128 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:04,039 I haven't the faintest idea. 129 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,151 The search goes on. 130 00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:09,117 She may not know, but she can adjust the vertical hold, 131 00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:11,279 - if you catch my drift. - Oh! 132 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,589 Well, how did you two meet? 133 00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:22,359 Well, I was working as a nurse's aide when Kal came in with re-entry burns. 134 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,631 Oh, it's okay. 135 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,332 And out of all the girls on Earth, he chose me. 136 00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,403 You know, Mindy, we must be the two luckiest girls 137 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,912 since the other two Mandrell sisters. 138 00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,477 - Your champagne, sir. - Oh, thank you, Chuck. 139 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,917 - I'll do the honors. Thank you. - Very good, sir. 140 00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,249 I think you'll like this one. 141 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,823 It's from the Chateau region of Arkansas. 142 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,652 "Eau de Billy Bob." Heh. 143 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,859 See, it says, "Bottled somewhere near the house." 144 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,058 Squeal! Heh-heh. 145 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:59,864 Oh, there we go. Little touch there. There we are. 146 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,869 Whoo! 147 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,069 Party! Boom! 148 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,781 You are my kind of guy, Mork. 149 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,583 I never had a friend like you, Kal. You know, 150 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,780 we are gonna be closer than Karen Black's eyes. 151 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:22,556 Oh, Mork, why don't we sit down and talk seriously for a moment, okay? 152 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,423 I think you're right, Kal. How about this? 153 00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:27,532 Famine, flood and Alexander Haig, huh? 154 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,105 Mork, have you ever noticed 155 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,708 that this planet offers opportunities that a couple of guys like us 156 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,003 could really take advantage of? 157 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:43,080 I mean, aren't you tired of just sitting around being an observer 158 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:47,413 when it would be so easy to just step in and take a piece of the action? 159 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:52,854 You and I could really accomplish something very significant here. 160 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,492 Oh. 161 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,059 Really? 162 00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:59,061 You mean, like change the smell of tar? 163 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:03,427 That's not exactly what I had in mind. 164 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,799 Wow. 165 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:15,307 Company. Are you anybody I should know? 166 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,642 Kal, Tracy, this is our little bundle of joy, 167 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,614 our bouncing baby-man, Mearth. 168 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,685 - Hey. - Hi, Mearth. 169 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,185 - Hi. - Hi. 170 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,983 Yes, and he's even... 171 00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:29,025 And he's even cuter when he's upstairs asleep in his bed, 172 00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,891 - aren't you, Mearth? - Oh, uh, uh-oh! 173 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,125 Come on. What's the good of having a kid if he can't come down 174 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,202 and show off for company a little bit? Mearthy, do something wonderful, 175 00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,429 that thing that Daddy loves so much. 176 00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,678 These slippers are a cheat. Heh. 177 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:57,120 Whoa, eh, you're a little boy. 178 00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:00,258 He is so fun. It's amazing. 179 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:05,129 - Isn't he something? - Incredible. Very talented. 180 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:09,734 Well, if you like that, how about my impression of Gary Cooper? 181 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:14,168 Why don't you do Gary Cooper sleeping in the bunkhouse? Hmm? 182 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,241 Okay. Okay, Mommy. 183 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,004 Well, I'll be moseying along. 184 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,042 I'll be going to the bunkhouse. 185 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:28,312 I'm a little uneasy about that because of those bunkies. 186 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:32,014 Tomorrow at 12:10-30, they're gonna hang me. 187 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:36,457 I hope the guy has a sense of humor. Last year he used a rubber band. 188 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:48,138 You kids wait here. I'll be right back. Mearth won't go to bed 189 00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,775 unless I show him a picture of the bogeyman getting on a plane. 190 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,877 Oh, you go right ahead. 191 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,916 Are you satisfied with the Orkan? 192 00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,116 He may be a feeb, 193 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:08,090 but he still has great powers, though they're no match for mine. 194 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:12,287 - I can mold him into whatever I want. - What about the woman? 195 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,433 She's of no use to us. She'll have to be eliminated. 196 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,726 And the child? 197 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:19,598 The son, Mearth, is nothing but a useless mutant, 198 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,672 and he does a lousy Gary Cooper. 199 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,900 - Oh! Mindy, Mindy, Mindy. Oh. Ha-ha. 200 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,911 We were just talking about how precious your child is. 201 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,641 No, you weren't. I heard exactly what you said. 202 00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:34,479 How dare you talk about our son like that? 203 00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:37,087 - I think you two had better leave. - Oh. Whoa-ho. 204 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,781 What's wrong, Mind, did they use those little soaps of yours? 205 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,554 They just called your son a mutant. 206 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,795 How can you say something so cruel about a special boy 207 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:52,768 - that's never hurt anybody? - Oh, hey, space-bro, lighten up. 208 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,428 What are you getting so upset about? 209 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,939 I mean, we have important business to talk about. 210 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,669 We have nothing to discuss. You should leave right now. 211 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,644 Look, I didn't wanna say this, but let's face it, 212 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:05,147 he's nothing but a hefty half-breed. 213 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,348 No one calls my son a mutant. You should take a hike. 214 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,688 You could have been my ally. But you've made your choice. 215 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:20,161 You'll live to regret this, Orkan, but not for long. 216 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,296 Tracy, come. 217 00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:32,603 Oh, remember, Mindy, you owe me that carrot-cake recipe. Night. 218 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:40,685 Well, we'll show them. 219 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,753 Give them your grandmother's carrot-cake recipe. 220 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:45,516 They'll starve to death trying to read her handwriting. 221 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:53,859 Mommy, 222 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,058 you'd better hurry up and get out here. 223 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,293 It's time you get out here. 224 00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,495 If you take longer, I'm gonna start getting interested in girls. 225 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:04,199 I know you're in there, Mommy. I know you're in there. 226 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,901 Now, I'm going to count to ten. 227 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:10,172 If you're not out here by the time I count to ten, 228 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:14,410 I'll make a lot of long-distance calls at random. 229 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:21,383 Like Berlin, London, Paris, Frankfurt, Fayetteville. 230 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,354 Mommy. 231 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:28,591 Okay, I'll use the old saver. 232 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:33,704 - Oh, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Ah! - Mearth. 233 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:41,710 - I'm sorry, sweetheart. - My tiny heart left my body. 234 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,711 I'm sorry. 235 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,352 I didn't mean to frighten you. I've been waiting downstairs. 236 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:51,080 I thought you'd slipped out for a moment. I was irrigating my ant farm. 237 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,591 We'll wanna get to the park before the winos wake up. 238 00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:57,695 - Here, here's your jacket. - Okay. 239 00:14:57,863 --> 00:15:00,423 Oh, you're gonna love flying your kite in the park, Mearth, 240 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:02,692 - and running. - I don't wanna... I don't wanna run. 241 00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,859 I'll just walk briskly. 242 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,632 Oh, hi. Heh. 243 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,777 - What's wrong? - Oh, nothing. 244 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:15,038 - Good. We're going. - No, you're not! 245 00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,613 Oh, there's someone following me! 246 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:19,945 Mork, you have been doing this for three days. 247 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,785 Now, no one is following you. 248 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,616 So Kal made a few idle threats. 249 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,781 That doesn't mean he's gonna do anything. 250 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,927 Look at Reagan. 251 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,593 Mind, you don't know Neptunians. 252 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,959 They end their national anthem with a human sacrifice. 253 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,829 Mork, you can stay in here and be afraid of your shadow, 254 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,333 or you can come with us. 255 00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:41,735 - Bye. - Okay. Come on, Mearth. 256 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,142 - Bye. - See you, Dad. 257 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,803 There's no wind out there anyway. 258 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:57,722 Mork, are you in there? It's Tracy. Please, open the door. 259 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:01,451 I can't. My Mommy and Daddy are sleeping. 260 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,687 Oh, Mork, please, I have to talk to you. Let me in. 261 00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:05,887 I'm alone. 262 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,863 Oh, sure. And Tip O'Neill wears tapered shirts. 263 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,867 If you won't believe me, why don't you check for yourself? 264 00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,870 - Please. - All right. 265 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,270 I think I'll just do that. 266 00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:23,339 Kal, are you out there? 267 00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,613 Kal, are you out there? 268 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,382 Well, that's good enough for me. 269 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,217 - Oh, Mork. Oh, Mork. - Oh, it's all right. 270 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:38,522 Mork, you were the only person I could turn to. 271 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,063 My life has fallen apart. 272 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,492 I've left Kal. 273 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:49,270 I should have known he was evil when he laughed at Old Yeller. 274 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:54,908 - Oh! That macho pig. Macho pig. - Yeah. 275 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,281 Oh... 276 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:02,187 I have tried to be a good wife. 277 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,050 I washed his clothes. I darned his socks. 278 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,523 I even jogged for him so he could sleep late. 279 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,493 Oh, that's all... Oh, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. 280 00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:19,296 There we go. There we go. Okay, there we go. 281 00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:24,200 Oh, come on, it's all right. 282 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,104 Yeah. 283 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,081 - Oh, Mork. - Feel better? 284 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,722 Yeah. 285 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:40,757 You're so sweet. 286 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,393 Heh. 287 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,586 I have to tell you, 288 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,788 Kal didn't meet you by accident. 289 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,092 It was all part of his plan. 290 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,736 He was just using you. 291 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,464 I feel so cheap. 292 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,310 He just wanted to pick your brain 293 00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:03,846 to find out what your ultimate mission was here on Earth. 294 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,576 Well, originally, I was sent to observe the culture, 295 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,983 but now I just want to see if Nightline knocks off Carson. 296 00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,046 Why do you want to know? 297 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,953 Why? Oh. 298 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,095 Oh, Mork, I'm just being silly. 299 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:21,096 It's just that I haven't had a chance to chat with anyone since Kal left me. 300 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,131 Kal left you. I thought you said you left Kal. 301 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:27,500 I did? Well, we both left at the same time. Heh. 302 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:32,508 Wait a minute. You're trying to pull the Dacron over my eyes here. Wait. 303 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,670 Who do you think I am? The American people? Come on, now. 304 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,477 Oh, my little Morkie Pie. 305 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:44,451 What difference does it make? 306 00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:49,191 Just as long as we're together. 307 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,056 Oh. Heh-heh. 308 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,765 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 309 00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:59,995 I know I'm irresistible, but I have a wife and child. 310 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,640 I can't support them, but I've got them. 311 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,800 No, no, no. 312 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:09,312 I just wanna know what pleases you. 313 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,506 I wanna know your joys, 314 00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,851 - your problems. - No. 315 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,183 Stand back! No. 316 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,393 Well, the only problems I have is I really can't find a decent FM station. 317 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:30,764 No, no, no, please, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, wait, time-out. 318 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,699 Now, let's look at this rationally. 319 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,065 You and I are married people. 320 00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,869 And besides, I can't keep this up. 321 00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:41,012 I mean, I'm beginning to hyperventilate. Please. 322 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:45,376 - Good, I just love a heavy breather. - Oh, no, no, no. 323 00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,929 Daddy, are you telling her a story? 324 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,169 - What is going on? - Oh, Mind. 325 00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:07,601 Mind, Mind, Mind. 326 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:08,967 Mind, Mind, you know me. 327 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,939 Nothing is going on. Nothing is going on here. 328 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:15,102 You know me. I'm straighter than Chinese children's bangs. 329 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,883 - Mearth, go to your room. - Ma... 330 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:25,589 I still think that someday this will make a very sensitive movie. 331 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,759 No, Mind, now, come on. No, no, no. 332 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,764 Mind, you know I'd never cheat on you. 333 00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,766 Except in Monopoly when I'm the banker. 334 00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:40,302 Mork, 335 00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,700 I'm sure that there's a perfectly logical explanation. 336 00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:43,966 Oh, there sure is. 337 00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,973 And you've got five seconds to give it to me. 338 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:49,580 Oh, no pressure. Oh, Mind, she just can't keep her hands off me. 339 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,978 That's not the right thing to say. I know. 340 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,243 Tracy, come on, now. I mean, tell her, tell her. 341 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,115 Your marriage may be over, but we just got our monogrammed towels. 342 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,689 You take your hands off... Ah! 343 00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,554 You didn't have to take her literally. 344 00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:04,923 I have a feeling she's not from Chicago. 345 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,655 What a pair of feebs. 346 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,425 I am programmed to extract 347 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:13,196 and transmit information for my master, Kal. 348 00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:15,465 You're an android. 349 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:19,600 Affirmative. And I am also a bomb. 350 00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:22,274 Oh, what a difference... 351 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,143 A bomb! Hide! 352 00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:03,816 Gosh, it's incredible. 353 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,083 What a mess. 354 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,590 Are you all right? 355 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,126 Oh, Mommy, 356 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:16,461 I wouldn't count on getting my cleaning deposit back on this place. 357 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:20,402 Everything okay, Mork? Mork. 358 00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,375 - You still think I'm paranoid, Mind? - No. 359 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,670 Kal is after us. 360 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,335 Oh... 361 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,245 We gotta find someplace where he won't go. 362 00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,509 - Where? - I don't know. 363 00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,380 I was hoping you'd know. 364 00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:38,887 I can't leave. My guppy's expecting. 365 00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:41,859 I'll go get the photo album and your jewelry. 366 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,392 - You get the Veg-O-Matic. - No. 367 00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:45,393 We gotta get out of here before Kal comes back. 368 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:48,727 - Yeah, you're right. Come on, son. - Guppy's on her own. 369 00:23:05,183 --> 00:23:06,707 Come on. 370 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,683 This stuff will all be here when we come back. 371 00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:11,447 I don't know, Mork. 372 00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:15,793 I have a feeling we're never gonna see this place again. 373 00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:18,094 Come on, we gotta get out of here. 374 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:29,100 Ripped By mstoll 29425

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