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1
00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,799
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Ripped By mstoll
3
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:40,297
Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson.
4
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:44,233
Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson.
5
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,497
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Fat Masterson.
6
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,766
Hola! Orson is no in casa.
7
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,001
This is the housekeeper,
Keezbalita.
8
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,111
Talk fast,I'm watching The Edge of Ork.
9
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,338
When will he be back, Keezbalita?
10
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,110
He's at his club.
11
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,115
He get drunk
and then he come home and say:
12
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,947
"Keezbalita, I want you bad."
13
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,091
Gotta go now.
Elizabeth Taylor's on. Boy.
14
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:08,455
Adi�s, you fine young thing.
15
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:12,189
I should never have given her
that Fernando Valenzuela poster.
16
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,331
Hello, Mom?
17
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,165
Mom?
18
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,965
Mom, can you hear me?
19
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,867
Oh, excuse me.
20
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,272
I'm awfully sorry, my friend.
21
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,415
I was just trying to call
my mother on Neptune.
22
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,447
Oh, you're from Neptune?
23
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,245
You don't know Bobby Gleepglow,
do you?
24
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,819
Are you kidding? I dated his sister.
25
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,820
Are you kidding?
That gorgeous bald girl?
26
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,356
- Uh-huh!
- Whoa!
27
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,062
My name is Kalnik,
but please, call me Kal, okay?
28
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:47,563
Everybody does except my car
salesman who calls me "guy."
29
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,964
"Hey, guy, what you doing? Guy."
30
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,367
Well, na-no. I'm Mork from Ork.
31
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,303
- Oh! I'm sorr...
- Oh.
32
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,204
Sorry, I have been on Earth
for so long,
33
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,345
I'm starting to pick up
their primitive customs.
34
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,709
You know, lately I've even started
raising my arms on roller coasters:
35
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:09,211
- Oh! You live on Earth? Me too.
- Mm-hm.
36
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,754
- No.
- What do you do?
37
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,223
Well, I'm an observer,
and I enjoy folk dancing.
38
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,691
- I'm an observer also.
- Yeah?
39
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,558
Yup, in my spare time
I'm a homemaker, though.
40
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,528
Yeah, I like to take care of my son,
41
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,861
and one day hope to make big money
stuffing envelopes.
42
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,230
- You're married, huh?
- Yeah.
43
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,872
Me too, but don't laugh, okay?
44
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,632
- She's an Earth girl.
- Oh!
45
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:31,902
- Whoa. So's mine.
- No.
46
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:35,343
- Does yours use Noxzema?
- Yes!
47
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:39,281
Does yours buy those little soaps
that she won't let you wash with?
48
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,953
- Oh, what a small galaxy.
- Oh, what a small galaxy.
49
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,611
So you dated
Bobby Gleepglow's sister?
50
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:44,950
Yes, have you heard from her?
51
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:46,751
Well, I don't wanna spread
any rumors,
52
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,723
but I heard
that she's turned amphibious.
53
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,658
No.
54
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,554
Cootchie-cootchie.
55
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,222
- Yeah.
- Ha-ha!
56
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,081
I'm really glad it's raining.
57
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,411
That bully that keeps beating me up
across the street,
58
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,450
he has to stay in too.
59
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:17,818
Shh! Mearth, Daddy's working.
60
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:22,087
Are you kidding? He isn't working.
He watches Love Boat the same way.
61
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:24,786
Well, when he watches Love Boat
he keeps mumbling:
62
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,398
"Is Dennis Cole on again?"
63
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,325
Why don't you go
and get out of your wet slicker?
64
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,970
No, I don't wanna get out
of my wet slicker, okay?
65
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,936
- I wanna stay in my wet slicker.
- Mearth...
66
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,633
Celeste.
I've asked you never to come aboard.
67
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:40,472
Not at a time, we're entering
heavy gales, northeast by southwest
68
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:43,138
by southeast by southwest
by northeast. Go below.
69
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,806
Take those groceries, help yourself.
70
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:48,181
Be careful of the cabin boy.
He's small and tiny, and he bites.
71
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,478
Oh! Look at those:
72
00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:54,557
Oh, seaweed.
73
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,821
Who knows,
it might be in a Nantucket museum.
74
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:02,126
Save it. It was aboard the Pequot.
75
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,964
When will we see the whales, sir?
When will we see the whale?
76
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:09,131
Well, you can't miss it.
They're quite large.
77
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,039
They have Gregory Peck on it,
just like this:
78
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,839
Your little girl, she'll be on the bow,
just like this:
79
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,311
- Captain, sir.
- Yes?
80
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,608
- Captain, sir?
- Yes.
81
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:18,944
The storm is breaking.
82
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,278
Is it?
83
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:21,715
Yes.
84
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,550
I think you should go
and change into your jammies.
85
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,385
- I think you're right.
- Good.
86
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:27,957
The crew was out of line anyway.
87
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,028
- They were talking mutiny, Mommy.
- Mearth.
88
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,865
Mind? Oh, Mind, Mind,
89
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,341
put away those groceries
and do something to your hair.
90
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,570
Put some magnetic beads in
91
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,715
because we're stepping out
with a terrific couple.
92
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,980
Mork, I told you I'm not going
to the Salvation Army luau
93
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,712
with Exidor and his sister.
94
00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,048
Mind, that's next week.
95
00:05:57,223 --> 00:06:00,590
Tonight we're going out with our new
best friends, Kal and Tracy Andrews.
96
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,558
Now, I wish
you'd checked with me first.
97
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,666
You know what happens every time
we go out with another couple.
98
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,701
We can never get close enough
to them to stay friends.
99
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,337
I mean, they brag about their kids,
100
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:17,067
and we have to pass Mearth off
as a visiting professor from Ceylon.
101
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,110
Mindy, come on. We won't have to do
any of that stuff for these people.
102
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,270
Why? Are they blind?
103
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,544
You don't see. They're just like us.
104
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,449
I mean, she's from Chicago,
and he's from Neptune.
105
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,186
- There's life on Neptune?
- Well, not after dark.
106
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:36,157
Well, except for one little rib place
in the inner city.
107
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:41,064
They also serve seafood. You can get
my man, lobster. What's happening?
108
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,968
Now, this couple,
they are normal, right?
109
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:53,873
I mean, Kal doesn't have three heads
or eat wood or anything?
110
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:58,210
No, I don't eat wood, although
mahogany does make great croutons.
111
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,976
And they never get soggy.
112
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,418
- Hi, I'm Kal.
- Hi, I'm embarrassed.
113
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,616
- Hey, paisano.
- Hey.
114
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,633
Kal, I'd like you to meet
my main gal here,
115
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:19,294
the light of my life,
the one I give my extra pickle to.
116
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,570
And I would like you to meet
the only girl in the universe for me.
117
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:26,678
Unfortunately, she couldn't make it,
so I had to bring my wife.
118
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:32,584
He always says that.
119
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,152
Oh, I'm so happy
to meet both of you.
120
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:38,017
You know,
my favorite cousin's name is Mindy.
121
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,388
What a coincidence.
Mindy's name is Mindy.
122
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,586
Mindy, Mork tells me
you're in television.
123
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,458
Maybe...
Maybe you can answer this for me.
124
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,395
Why is there no Channel 1?
125
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,832
Oh. Oh, oh, oh, uh...
126
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:54,837
Well, see, uh, when television
was first invented, uh...
127
00:07:55,007 --> 00:08:00,377
No, see, the FCC has special
frequency regulations and, uh...
128
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:04,039
I haven't the faintest idea.
129
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,151
The search goes on.
130
00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:09,117
She may not know,
but she can adjust the vertical hold,
131
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:11,279
- if you catch my drift.
- Oh!
132
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,589
Well, how did you two meet?
133
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:22,359
Well, I was working as a nurse's aide
when Kal came in with re-entry burns.
134
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,631
Oh, it's okay.
135
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,332
And out of all the girls on Earth,
he chose me.
136
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,403
You know, Mindy,
we must be the two luckiest girls
137
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,912
since the other two Mandrell sisters.
138
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,477
- Your champagne, sir.
- Oh, thank you, Chuck.
139
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,917
- I'll do the honors. Thank you.
- Very good, sir.
140
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,249
I think you'll like this one.
141
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,823
It's from the Chateau region
of Arkansas.
142
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,652
"Eau de Billy Bob." Heh.
143
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,859
See, it says,
"Bottled somewhere near the house."
144
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,058
Squeal! Heh-heh.
145
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:59,864
Oh, there we go.
Little touch there. There we are.
146
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,869
Whoo!
147
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,069
Party! Boom!
148
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,781
You are my kind of guy, Mork.
149
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,583
I never had a friend like you, Kal.
You know,
150
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,780
we are gonna be closer
than Karen Black's eyes.
151
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:22,556
Oh, Mork, why don't we sit down
and talk seriously for a moment, okay?
152
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,423
I think you're right, Kal.
How about this?
153
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:27,532
Famine, flood
and Alexander Haig, huh?
154
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,105
Mork, have you ever noticed
155
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,708
that this planet offers opportunities
that a couple of guys like us
156
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,003
could really take advantage of?
157
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:43,080
I mean, aren't you tired of just
sitting around being an observer
158
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:47,413
when it would be so easy to just step in
and take a piece of the action?
159
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:52,854
You and I could really accomplish
something very significant here.
160
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,492
Oh.
161
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,059
Really?
162
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:59,061
You mean,
like change the smell of tar?
163
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:03,427
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
164
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,799
Wow.
165
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:15,307
Company.
Are you anybody I should know?
166
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,642
Kal, Tracy,
this is our little bundle of joy,
167
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,614
our bouncing baby-man, Mearth.
168
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,685
- Hey.
- Hi, Mearth.
169
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,185
- Hi.
- Hi.
170
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,983
Yes, and he's even...
171
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:29,025
And he's even cuter
when he's upstairs asleep in his bed,
172
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,891
- aren't you, Mearth?
- Oh, uh, uh-oh!
173
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,125
Come on. What's the good
of having a kid if he can't come down
174
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,202
and show off for company a little bit?
Mearthy, do something wonderful,
175
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,429
that thing that Daddy loves so much.
176
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,678
These slippers are a cheat. Heh.
177
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:57,120
Whoa, eh, you're a little boy.
178
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:00,258
He is so fun. It's amazing.
179
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:05,129
- Isn't he something?
- Incredible. Very talented.
180
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:09,734
Well, if you like that, how about
my impression of Gary Cooper?
181
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:14,168
Why don't you do Gary Cooper
sleeping in the bunkhouse? Hmm?
182
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,241
Okay. Okay, Mommy.
183
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,004
Well, I'll be moseying along.
184
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,042
I'll be going to the bunkhouse.
185
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:28,312
I'm a little uneasy about that
because of those bunkies.
186
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:32,014
Tomorrow at 12:10-30,
they're gonna hang me.
187
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:36,457
I hope the guy has a sense of humor.
Last year he used a rubber band.
188
00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:48,138
You kids wait here. I'll be right back.
Mearth won't go to bed
189
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,775
unless I show him a picture
of the bogeyman getting on a plane.
190
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,877
Oh, you go right ahead.
191
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,916
Are you satisfied with the Orkan?
192
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,116
He may be a feeb,
193
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:08,090
but he still has great powers,
though they're no match for mine.
194
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:12,287
- I can mold him into whatever I want.
- What about the woman?
195
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,433
She's of no use to us.
She'll have to be eliminated.
196
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,726
And the child?
197
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:19,598
The son, Mearth,
is nothing but a useless mutant,
198
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,672
and he does a lousy Gary Cooper.
199
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,900
- Oh! Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
Oh. Ha-ha.
200
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,911
We were just talking about
how precious your child is.
201
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,641
No, you weren't.
I heard exactly what you said.
202
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:34,479
How dare you talk
about our son like that?
203
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:37,087
- I think you two had better leave.
- Oh. Whoa-ho.
204
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,781
What's wrong, Mind, did they use
those little soaps of yours?
205
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,554
They just called your son a mutant.
206
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,795
How can you say something
so cruel about a special boy
207
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:52,768
- that's never hurt anybody?
- Oh, hey, space-bro, lighten up.
208
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,428
What are you getting
so upset about?
209
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,939
I mean, we have important business
to talk about.
210
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,669
We have nothing to discuss.
You should leave right now.
211
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,644
Look, I didn't wanna say this,
but let's face it,
212
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:05,147
he's nothing but a hefty half-breed.
213
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,348
No one calls my son a mutant.
You should take a hike.
214
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,688
You could have been my ally.
But you've made your choice.
215
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:20,161
You'll live to regret this, Orkan,
but not for long.
216
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,296
Tracy, come.
217
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:32,603
Oh, remember, Mindy, you owe me
that carrot-cake recipe. Night.
218
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:40,685
Well, we'll show them.
219
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,753
Give them your grandmother's
carrot-cake recipe.
220
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:45,516
They'll starve to death
trying to read her handwriting.
221
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:53,859
Mommy,
222
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,058
you'd better hurry up
and get out here.
223
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,293
It's time you get out here.
224
00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,495
If you take longer, I'm gonna start
getting interested in girls.
225
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:04,199
I know you're in there, Mommy.
I know you're in there.
226
00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,901
Now, I'm going to count to ten.
227
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:10,172
If you're not out here
by the time I count to ten,
228
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:14,410
I'll make a lot of long-distance calls
at random.
229
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:21,383
Like Berlin, London, Paris,
Frankfurt, Fayetteville.
230
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,354
Mommy.
231
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:28,591
Okay, I'll use the old saver.
232
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:33,704
- Oh, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Ah!
- Mearth.
233
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:41,710
- I'm sorry, sweetheart.
- My tiny heart left my body.
234
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,711
I'm sorry.
235
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,352
I didn't mean to frighten you.
I've been waiting downstairs.
236
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:51,080
I thought you'd slipped out for
a moment. I was irrigating my ant farm.
237
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,591
We'll wanna get to the park
before the winos wake up.
238
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:57,695
- Here, here's your jacket.
- Okay.
239
00:14:57,863 --> 00:15:00,423
Oh, you're gonna love flying
your kite in the park, Mearth,
240
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:02,692
- and running.
- I don't wanna... I don't wanna run.
241
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,859
I'll just walk briskly.
242
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,632
Oh, hi. Heh.
243
00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,777
- What's wrong?
- Oh, nothing.
244
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:15,038
- Good. We're going.
- No, you're not!
245
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,613
Oh, there's someone following me!
246
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:19,945
Mork, you have been doing this
for three days.
247
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,785
Now, no one is following you.
248
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,616
So Kal made a few idle threats.
249
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,781
That doesn't mean
he's gonna do anything.
250
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,927
Look at Reagan.
251
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,593
Mind, you don't know Neptunians.
252
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,959
They end their national anthem
with a human sacrifice.
253
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,829
Mork, you can stay in here
and be afraid of your shadow,
254
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,333
or you can come with us.
255
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:41,735
- Bye.
- Okay. Come on, Mearth.
256
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,142
- Bye.
- See you, Dad.
257
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,803
There's no wind out there anyway.
258
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:57,722
Mork, are you in there?
It's Tracy. Please, open the door.
259
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:01,451
I can't.
My Mommy and Daddy are sleeping.
260
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,687
Oh, Mork, please,
I have to talk to you. Let me in.
261
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:05,887
I'm alone.
262
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,863
Oh, sure.
And Tip O'Neill wears tapered shirts.
263
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,867
If you won't believe me,
why don't you check for yourself?
264
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,870
- Please.
- All right.
265
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,270
I think I'll just do that.
266
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:23,339
Kal, are you out there?
267
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,613
Kal, are you out there?
268
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,382
Well, that's good enough for me.
269
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,217
- Oh, Mork. Oh, Mork.
- Oh, it's all right.
270
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:38,522
Mork, you were the only person
I could turn to.
271
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,063
My life has fallen apart.
272
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,492
I've left Kal.
273
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:49,270
I should have known he was evil
when he laughed at Old Yeller.
274
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:54,908
- Oh! That macho pig. Macho pig.
- Yeah.
275
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,281
Oh...
276
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:02,187
I have tried to be a good wife.
277
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,050
I washed his clothes.
I darned his socks.
278
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,523
I even jogged for him
so he could sleep late.
279
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,493
Oh, that's all...
Oh, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.
280
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:19,296
There we go. There we go.
Okay, there we go.
281
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:24,200
Oh, come on, it's all right.
282
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,104
Yeah.
283
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,081
- Oh, Mork.
- Feel better?
284
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,722
Yeah.
285
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:40,757
You're so sweet.
286
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,393
Heh.
287
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,586
I have to tell you,
288
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,788
Kal didn't meet you by accident.
289
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,092
It was all part of his plan.
290
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,736
He was just using you.
291
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,464
I feel so cheap.
292
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,310
He just wanted to pick your brain
293
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:03,846
to find out what your ultimate mission
was here on Earth.
294
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,576
Well, originally,
I was sent to observe the culture,
295
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,983
but now I just want to see
if Nightline knocks off Carson.
296
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,046
Why do you want to know?
297
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,953
Why? Oh.
298
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,095
Oh, Mork, I'm just being silly.
299
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:21,096
It's just that I haven't had a chance
to chat with anyone since Kal left me.
300
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,131
Kal left you.
I thought you said you left Kal.
301
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:27,500
I did? Well, we both left
at the same time. Heh.
302
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:32,508
Wait a minute. You're trying to pull
the Dacron over my eyes here. Wait.
303
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,670
Who do you think I am?
The American people? Come on, now.
304
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,477
Oh, my little Morkie Pie.
305
00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:44,451
What difference does it make?
306
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:49,191
Just as long as we're together.
307
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,056
Oh. Heh-heh.
308
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,765
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
309
00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:59,995
I know I'm irresistible,
but I have a wife and child.
310
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,640
I can't support them,
but I've got them.
311
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,800
No, no, no.
312
00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:09,312
I just wanna know what pleases you.
313
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,506
I wanna know your joys,
314
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,851
- your problems.
- No.
315
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,183
Stand back! No.
316
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,393
Well, the only problems I have is
I really can't find a decent FM station.
317
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:30,764
No, no, no, please, no, no, no,
please, no, no, no, wait, time-out.
318
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,699
Now, let's look at this rationally.
319
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,065
You and I are married people.
320
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,869
And besides, I can't keep this up.
321
00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:41,012
I mean, I'm beginning
to hyperventilate. Please.
322
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:45,376
- Good, I just love a heavy breather.
- Oh, no, no, no.
323
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,929
Daddy, are you telling her a story?
324
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,169
- What is going on?
- Oh, Mind.
325
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:07,601
Mind, Mind, Mind.
326
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:08,967
Mind, Mind, you know me.
327
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,939
Nothing is going on.
Nothing is going on here.
328
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:15,102
You know me. I'm straighter
than Chinese children's bangs.
329
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,883
- Mearth, go to your room.
- Ma...
330
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:25,589
I still think that someday this will make
a very sensitive movie.
331
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,759
No, Mind, now, come on.
No, no, no.
332
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,764
Mind, you know
I'd never cheat on you.
333
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,766
Except in Monopoly
when I'm the banker.
334
00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:40,302
Mork,
335
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,700
I'm sure that there's
a perfectly logical explanation.
336
00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:43,966
Oh, there sure is.
337
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,973
And you've got five seconds
to give it to me.
338
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:49,580
Oh, no pressure. Oh, Mind,
she just can't keep her hands off me.
339
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,978
That's not the right thing to say.
I know.
340
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,243
Tracy, come on, now.
I mean, tell her, tell her.
341
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,115
Your marriage may be over, but we
just got our monogrammed towels.
342
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,689
You take your hands off... Ah!
343
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,554
You didn't have to take her literally.
344
00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:04,923
I have a feeling
she's not from Chicago.
345
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,655
What a pair of feebs.
346
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,425
I am programmed to extract
347
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:13,196
and transmit information
for my master, Kal.
348
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:15,465
You're an android.
349
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:19,600
Affirmative. And I am also a bomb.
350
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:22,274
Oh, what a difference...
351
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,143
A bomb! Hide!
352
00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:03,816
Gosh, it's incredible.
353
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,083
What a mess.
354
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,590
Are you all right?
355
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,126
Oh, Mommy,
356
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:16,461
I wouldn't count on getting
my cleaning deposit back on this place.
357
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:20,402
Everything okay, Mork? Mork.
358
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,375
- You still think I'm paranoid, Mind?
- No.
359
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,670
Kal is after us.
360
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,335
Oh...
361
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,245
We gotta find someplace
where he won't go.
362
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,509
- Where?
- I don't know.
363
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,380
I was hoping you'd know.
364
00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:38,887
I can't leave. My guppy's expecting.
365
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:41,859
I'll go get the photo album
and your jewelry.
366
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,392
- You get the Veg-O-Matic.
- No.
367
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:45,393
We gotta get out of here
before Kal comes back.
368
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:48,727
- Yeah, you're right. Come on, son.
- Guppy's on her own.
369
00:23:05,183 --> 00:23:06,707
Come on.
370
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,683
This stuff will all be here
when we come back.
371
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:11,447
I don't know, Mork.
372
00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:15,793
I have a feeling we're never gonna
see this place again.
373
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:18,094
Come on, we gotta get out of here.
374
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:29,100
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